Hi Im Lance

Hi, I'm Lance Chapter 11

Hi, I'm Lance is the third book in an overlapping trilogy.

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Meeting 14 August 26

"Hi, I'm Lance. I'm an alcoholic."

"Hi, Lance," the group replied.

"Tomorrow is my birthday. I turn 23. My parents could have put me in school a year earlier, but they held me back so that I would be the oldest kid in class instead of the littlest. I'm trying to let the day be one to count my blessings.

"I love my new car. But as I look at the date on the calendar, I realize that the greatest gift I got this year was my life back. The spring was so full of disappointment and regret and depression. I had no idea how far I had sunk down. Now, I'm getting past things I can't change and embracing the things that are really working out: a new job, a new boyfriend I really like and a great relationship with my family and friends."

I saw Jakob smile at me.

"All that would never have happened when I was drinking. It's funny, I hated being the youngest one here when I started. I was ashamed. I thought everyone would look at me. And look down on me. I thought they would figure `How did that kid screw up his life so young? He should have everything going for him.' So you'd think. But I did screw it up. I drank through college. It wasn't a lot at first, but the more I tried to push things away, the more I would drink each day. I shudder to think of those past months where I consumed so much every week. And it never really pushed anything really away."

I caught my breath. My mind flashed to the winter and spring in the college apartment. Even in my own apartment. The night of my wreck ...

I inhaled and exhaled.

"But today I feel good about myself. I can't say some of that shame isn't still there, but I look at how happy I am compared to the week I had the car wreck. So, I do feel good. All that really matters to me happened because of AA. It helped me get my shit together. It's sad that it took a car wreck to wake me up, but this birthday will truly be a happy one for me. I've been given every gift I need.

"I stepped on the scale after exercising today. I finally lost the last pound. I'm down 20. I think I deserve cake tomorrow.

"Thank you."

The group clapped.

Amy went next. She tells the same story every meeting. I have tended to tune her out. Jakob put his arm around me as I returned to my seat. I should still listen to Amy. All of us are struggling. I knew the power of sharing.

Janine had kept her job. A customer had given a compliment about her to the manager. She was over the moon.

A first timer named Tyler spoke. He was gay. I guess with LGBTQ services down the hall, we get a fair share of gay people in our group. I hated listening to his share. His boyfriend of two years had apparently started hitting him. They were both alcoholics, but he came alone. I felt sad for him.

"Hi, my name is Jakob. With a K. I'm an alcoholic."

"Hi, Jakob," the group replied.

"I got a text two hours ago. I have set up a time this week to meet my sister. I haven't spoken with anyone in my family in ... years. So, I was immediately thrilled and immediately terrified. I'm not sure what she'll think of me. But I am so excited to see her. I have missed her. I accepted that my family didn't want me in their lives. I did. But that didn't make the pain of missing them go away."

I hadn't heard this news. We will have a lot to talk about after the meeting.

"My job keeps getting better. I hear great things from my boss all the time. He's nice to me and seems to like me. I know I don't make much, but those words mean as much as money.

"I guess I'll let you know how my visit goes. Wish me luck.

"Thank you."

The group clapped.

As I helped put away the chairs, I noticed Tyler darted out. I had wanted to say something to him. Ophelia handed him a chip and he bolted.

Cooper wasn't at this meeting, but Jakob, Ophelia and I enjoyed a simple beverage. All of us were in a good mood, so conversation was light. I did mention that I'd like to reach out to Tyler if he comes back.

After we finished our visit, as we walked back to the center, I asked Jakob if he was still free for dinner tomorrow night. He said he traded to be off, making Thursday and Friday two days off in a row. I asked if he would like to spend those nights with me. I hoped he felt comfortable in my bed now. I had to be at work, but I wanted to make sure he would be okay at the apartment without me. He agreed but would need to gather some things. My gym bag was in the back seat. I dumped it out so that he could use it as an overnight bag.

Five minutes later, we were driving from the shelter. I had never gone in. He never asked me to. I thought one day I should poke my head in.

"Gerard is one of the gentlemen that supervises the shelter," Jakob told me as we drove. "He got a call from QT today."

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah. Really okay. He helps people there find jobs. They called to let him know that I was doing a great job and that they were pleased he helped place me there."

"How awesome is that?" I said, excitedly.

"I know."

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Jakob smile. I liked his smile. It wasn't a cheesy grin; it was simple yet authentic.

When we got there, Evan was in the kitchen. "Hi, guys."

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm making you a pie for your birthday."

"You are?? Why?"

"Because it's your birthday. I called your dad. He said you liked pie better than cake, so I opted for a birthday pie."

I gave Evan a sloppy smooch on his cheek. He made a giggly smile.

"Stop that," he chuckled.

"Is it key lime?" I asked.

"It is."

"OMG. You are the best cousin ever. That's my favorite."

"I know."

We got out of his way. I got Jakob and me a sparkling water, and we went to my bedroom for a few minutes.

"Jakob, I have a lot of clothes here. My jeans won't fit you, but maybe some of these shirts or a pair of shorts ... if you can use them."

Staring into my closet, Jakob looked at the clothes. Then he looked at me.

"Lance, where would I put them?"

I went silent.

"Oh."

"I just have a box under my bed. Another one in my car trunk. I mean, I have a week or so's worth of clothes in the shelter, but I don't have much room once you add underwear, socks, a jacket..."

I suddenly felt privileged, rich, arrogant. I stood behind Jakob and held him in my arms.

"Okay."

I kissed him on the neck.

Letting go of him, I sorted through some items at the bottom of the closet. I pulled out a gym bag that had my high school basketball team on it.

"How about I give you this, so you don't have to use grocery bags?"

"Lance," Jakob said, taking my hand. "Sit down."

We sat next to each other on the bed. I felt like I had done something wrong.

"I don't want you to give me things or buy me things. I feel like I'm taking advantage of you."

"But I want to ..."

"I know you are trying to help. That's sweet, and I appreciate you for it. But when I lived with those other people, it basically amounted to me living off what they gave me, sometimes in exchange for sex. I want to be able to depend upon myself. I don't ever want to picture you in that role."

"I can understand that. I only wanted to help," I said in almost a mumble that sounded guilty.

"I know. You're an angel. But if the two of us are going to work, I have to know you accept me for who I am. It may take me some time to get there, but I'm trying. It will mean more if I do it on my own."

"I understand. Please know that I want you to look at me as someone who has your back."

Jakob leaned over and held me.

"Thank you. You've helped me more than you'll ever know."

"But seriously, I have three gym bags. It's silly. You could use one. Look at it this way, it makes me feel good knowing something of mine will be with you over there at the shelter. Don't you want to do something that makes me feel good?"

"Shrewd," he said. "I will accept your offer. That actually does make me feel good too. And if I was being honest, I wear your T-shirt in bed almost every night. It makes me feel like you are around me."

"Aww," I said. "I could let you use a couple more. I like the idea of being around you when you're not with me."

"Maybe. Do you have a shirt with your name on it?"

After sorting through a bottom drawer, I found an old debate team shirt we all had made in high school. Everyone had their names put on the back.

"It's old, but ..."

"I love it," Jakob said. "It's you."

We joined Evan in the living room. He told us he had started seeing a girl. He'd only been out on one official date, but they had been talking and texting for a week. We were happy for him.

I took Evan aside in the kitchen under the guise of looking at the pie. I asked if he was comfortable with Jakob being in the apartment while the two of us were at work. He agreed. That was kind of him. He only knew Jakob through a few simple visits. His mutual trust was admirable. I felt he had come to like Jakob.

We turned in after watching The Tonight Show's monologue.

As we prepared for bed, Jakob climbed in first. As I came out of the bathroom, I noticed his underwear placed aside the bed. I stripped nude, turned out the light and slid into the sheets.

"I'm so happy you're here," I said.

We rolled on our sides to face each other.

"Me too," he said leaning in for a kiss.

We kissed for a few minutes. I felt his tongue reach in to touch mine. I let my hand roam around his back and eventually glide down to his waist. My hand gripped his butt. His did the same. He then moved it up to my head to run his fingers through my hair as we kissed. I loved that. I realized I loved it when Jakob touched me anywhere. I loved being with him. I had a split-second thought of Trent. I no longer longed for him like I used to. I still loved him, but Jakob had found a different place in my heart. My lips pressed to his harder.

"Want to jack off?" he whispered into my mouth.

We weren't loud. Just enough breathing, moaning and light grunting to where we could hear each other. Evan wouldn't have picked up on it. At one point, Jakob switched hands so that he could reach down and hold my hand when he thought I was close to coming. He timed it well. I came first. Letting go of my hand, he reached to my chest into my streams of cum. He slathered it on his erection and began to finished his efforts on his own anatomy. His legs and hips writhed and bucked when he came. He grabbed my hand again. It was sticky as it could be with both of our cum smeared on it. I found it romantic beyond belief for some reason.

He let go to get a wet washcloth. He wiped our bodies and hands clean. After doing so, he leaned over to kiss me. I reached and groped his cock as he did so. He glanced at the clock as I felt his limp penis. It was 12:03.

"Happy birthday, angel," he whispered to me.

—

When I awoke, Jakob wasn't in the bed. He wasn't in the bathroom either. I put on my briefs and walked out into the living room. Both Jakob and Evan were in the kitchen. Evan was eating an omelet with salsa on it. Jakob was at the stove wearing the T-shirt I gave and his briefs.

"Morning, Lance," he said. "Can I make you an omelet?"

"Uh, sure." I was surprised to see him cooking.

As the three of us ate, Jakob and Evan discussed a few things for the birthday dinner tonight. Jakob even offered to pick up an ingredient Evan needed. It was nice to see them getting along so well.

I showered alone. Jakob said he'd do it later. I gave him my key so he could go to the store or anywhere else he needed to be.

At work, I was surprised at lunch. Our staff at the gym was not large, but the small team pulled me into the office at lunchtime and sang "Happy Birthday" to me. There was a small cake. I thought the gesture was lovely.

Jason made a point to compliment me in front of the staff. Apparently, he had received a few comments from members who were appreciative of the customer service I had been giving them. I had started a routine to get to know numerous members by name and greet them each visit. I found out more about them and the fields in which they worked. They seemed to appreciate the attention. I was surprised it made it to Jason.

After everyone had enjoyed a slice of cake, they returned to work. Jason called me to his desk.

"I'm impressed, Lance. When you first started, I was questioning my decision to offer you the job. You seemed to let yourself go and your focus wasn't the best. But, after the accident, you've really made a turn for the better. You are one of the finest employees I have at any of the three locations."

"Thank you, Jason. That means a lot."

"And you look as hot as all get out again. You and I may have to revisit some private time again."

"Well, as flattering as that is, I'd have to turn you down for two reasons. As my boss, that's a big red flag — like Day One in my first management course — so I couldn't do that, but the main reason is I'm seeing someone right now. I'm happy with him."

"Well. My loss. Whoever it is is lucky to have that stunning dick all to himself. I do think about it from time to time."

"Um. Thank you?" I wasn't sure how to take it, but I wanted to avoid inappropriate action with the boss at all costs. "It's just a dick," I said casually.

"You're a good man, Lance. Thanks for doing an outstanding job."

—

I drove into the parking lot about the same time Evan got home. We walked to the apartment together. I told him about the cake and the compliments at work. He had his key, so he unlocked the door. We entered, and both of us froze. We stared at our apartment and looked at each other. What had happened?

"Welcome home," Jakob said, coming from the kitchen.

It was like we were in a different apartment.

"What happened?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" Jakob asked.

"The apartment. It looks ... better."

"Oh. I got Evan what he needed, but then didn't have much to do. I decided to simply clean and straighten to help out. Does anything look wrong?"

"No," Evan said blankly.

"It looks great, baby. What did you do?"

"Nothing much. Just cleaned, straightened. I found cleaning supplies under the kitchen sink. I knew the vacuum was in the hall closet. It was nothing."

Jakob had shifted the furniture a few feet. The room had better flow. He positioned the pillows on the loveseat a certain way. The magazines were arranged like in a showroom. He had a vase of flowers on the coffee table.

"Where did the flowers come from?" I asked.

"I wanted to have them for your birthday."

"We've never had flowers in here," Evan said. "We hardly vacuum."

The few books on the bookshelf were even straightened. In fact, the arrangement of them looked aesthetically pleasing. The random photos we had framed were positioned artistically. He had taken a few bowls from the top cabinet in the kitchen. They were filled with odds and ends — fruit, nuts and some twigs. It somehow worked. He had purchased a candle, and I detected the scent. He must have lit it several minutes ago. Everything looked "in its place."

"I never thought of the apartment as dirty, but this looks great, Jakob."

"Oh, good. I did a little in the bedroom too." He turned to Evan. "Obviously I didn't go into your bedroom, Evan. That wouldn't have been appropriate."

"Holy crap!" I said entering my bedroom. "This looks great. Oh my gosh!! Look at the bathroom!"

Jakob looked like a sheepish third grader getting a compliment from his teacher. I returned to him and hugged him tightly. I gave him a loud, gyrating smooch.

"Thank you, baby! I'm so impressed."

He said it was my birthday, so I should sit and relax while he and Evan started preparing dinner. Jakob already had the table looking marvelously hospitable, even using the limited resources Evan and I had. Mike and Trent would be arriving in a while.

As the guys worked hard, I went in and took a selfie of the three of us. I hadn't taken many pictures in quite a while. I asked Evan to take one of the two of us in the living room since it looked so nice.

Right on time, Mike and Trent knocked on the door. They had the same look as they entered.

"What have you done with the place? I can't tell why, but it looks really good," Mike said.

"Jakob's touch," I answered. "Evan and I came home, and Jakob had cleaned, straightened and made simple changes in the arrangement. You should have seen what he did to my bedroom."

"That lost cause?" Trent joked.

"I know! He has a flair for it."

Evan and Jakob were in the kitchen. I took Mike and Trent in to meet him. After being introduced, Jakob informed them that his name was spelled with a K.

"So, you're the one who got away?" Jakob said to Trent.

"Wha -?" Trent said in surprise.

"Jakob!" I said, shocked that he would make such a comment.

"I'm sorry," Jakob said. "I've heard a lot about you. Lance speaks extremely highly of you."

That was a curious way to begin, but it sounded more polite at the end. I'm not sure why he started that way. I've told him a lot about Trent, but I wasn't sure what the tone in his voice implied. Was he jealous? I wanted Trent and Mike to like him.

Evan and Jakob brought the food to the table. I brought out glasses with tea.

"If you guys would like some wine, Evan has a bottle in his room that we can open."

Trent looked thrown. "Um. That's nice of you, but we're just fine with tea."

We all sat down.

"Mike, how is the school year starting?" I asked.

"Oh. Um." He went silent. "I think I have some good kids in the mix. I've only had them a week."

Trent gave him an odd look.

"So, Jakob, how did you and Lance meet?" Mike said, trying to change the subject.

"Us? We've actually met in AA. A few of us go out after some meetings for coffee. Well, Lance leans toward milkshakes. But we got to know each other that way. And I can't figure out for the life of me why, but he sees something worthwhile in me."

We leaned in for a kiss.

"He's good for me," I said.

"How sweet," said Mike.

"I went with Lance to his first meeting," Trent said. "I think I remember you there. Forgive me if this is too personal, Jakob, but I seem to recall you were kicked out of your house at 17. Is that right?"

"Sadly, yes. It ... was not good. If I was gay, I was not welcome."

"Like it's something you can just turn off," Trent said. "I'm not doing well with my father right now, either. But your situation was really harsh, and at such a young age. I'm sorry you had to deal with that."

The conversation momentarily paused. No one knew what to say. I knew Jakob didn't want to elaborate on his past.

"Gentlemen, everything is delicious," Mike said, thank heavens.

"Thanks," the three of us said in unison.

"Evan did most of the cooking," I said.

"It's your birthday. Of course."

"Like that means anything. He cooks all the time."

"Apparently he's cooks healthy, because you look great, Lance," Mike said.

"I love you more every day, Michael Terry," I said with a smile.

"I was trying to lose that 20 pounds, and I finally got that last pound to drop off. But I do give credit to Evan. I'm eating out less, and certainly junk food isn't around the house. Between no alcohol and the drop in weight, I feel so much better. I've also been doing better at work. They threw me a ... well, it was just cake ... but during the festivities today, Jason pulled me aside and told me I was doing a super job. He even hit on me."

"Wait, what?" Jakob asked.

"Don't worry. He was half kidding, and I shot it down."

"Jason is indeed something," Mike said.

"Oh yeah, you remember," I said.

"But what a house!"

Once dinner was over, Evan pulled out the key lime pie. Jakob brought everyone a slice. A birthday candle was placed in my slice.

"My favorite!" I said.

They sang. Mike and Trent harmonized beautifully. Jakob even told them so. I wished I could sing; I sound horrible when I try.

"We've sang together a few times. It started when we drove to see his parents last month. Oh! We have something for you in the car," Trent said, hopping up.

Trent came back with a small box.

"What's this? I said no gifts!"

"Just open it. It's very simple," Trent said.

I ripped off the paper. Popping the tape on the box, I opened up the tissue and pulled out a T-shirt. It had a rainbow flag and said PRIDE.

"We thought you needed one. Now that you are out, it seemed essential. Mike and I have matching ones, so when we go out, we can be adorable together."

"Aw. Sweet guys. I love it. Now I really feel `out.' It's perfect."

I opened the card. It was a card with fancy writing and a poetic paragraph. The last line was that "life was better for having a friend like you."

"We thought about funny or dirty, but went with this," Trent said.

I smiled at both of them. "I'm lucky to have friends like you, too."

I gave both of them a hug and then went back to finish my pie.

Shortly thereafter we cleared the table. Evan, Jakob and Trent rinsed plates and loaded the dishwasher. In the living room, I pulled Mike to the side.

"Trent told me you placed my One-Day chip in a special place in your bedroom. You are really a wonderful person, Mike. Thanks for your support, and for letting me be a part of your and Trent's lives. You probably thought it was a simple gesture, but it meant a lot to me. When I was drinking you could have easily given up on me, and you didn't. I was an idiot and a mess. I hope you know that I love you. I love you both."

"I do," Mike said. "We're very proud of you. You've dealt with your drinking head on. You've finally come out. And look ... you've lost 20 pounds. You're a great guy, Lance. I'm glad Trent has made you one of my friends. Congratulations on every step you've taken. I really am proud of you. And impressed. We both are."

I gave Mike a kiss on the cheek. Mike gave me a simple kiss on the lips.

Not much longer following, the two of them worked their way to the door.

"It was nice meeting you, Jakob," Trent said.

After they shut the door behind them, Jakob turned to me. "I don't think Trent likes me."

"Don't be self-conscious," I said. "The evening went fine. I'm sure he did."

I went over to Evan and gave him a hug. "Thank you, both, for everything tonight. It was all delicious."

I gave Evan a sloppy smooch on his cheek. He giggled like a toddler being tickled.

"Will you please stop that!" he said through his laughter.

"Jakob, the place looked amazing. Thanks for all your work," I said.

"That reminds me," Evan said. "I'd like to bring Kristy over and ... well, stay overnight next week. Hopefully, we can keep the place looking this good for a few days?"

I nodded. We said "Good night" to Evan and went to our bedrooms.

After preparing for bed, we were both in the bedroom getting undressed at the same time. Both of us stripped naked with no hesitation. I was pleased Jakob felt comfortable being himself with me now. That was a big step. He slid into the sheets first. He placed his arm out for me to move into his embrace. I did.

"Lance, if I asked you to meet my sister Saturday morning, would you come along?"

"Really?"

"I'd like that. You're a part of my life now. I feel she should know that."

"That's clearly a `Hello-I'm-still-gay' moment. Think that will be okay?" I asked.

"For this to work, it has to be okay," he said. "I'm not going to meet with them and pretend to be something I'm not. They threw me out nine years ago. I'm sure not going to hide or lie now."

"If you want me there, I will be happy to be there with you."

As I melted in his arms, my hand reached over and played with his dick. He didn't flinch. My fingers danced around the short length feeling it like it was a play toy. It was sweet that he didn't hide his penis from me. After a minute of fondling it, I could feel it stiffen in my hand.

"Where are we meeting her?" I asked.

"I was thinking the food court at the mall. That seems simple, doesn't it?"

"Sounds like a good plan," I said, now totally hard myself.

We turned our heads. We kissed. Jakob slid out from my side and moved on top of me. We kissed deeply and passionately. Our erections poked each other as our hips gently moved and thrust together. My hands reached down and gripped his buttocks. I gently pushed his crotch into my body. He softly moaned in his kiss. He rubbed his cock against my torso, tenderly pushing it up my skin.

"I like how that feels," I whispered aloud.

For a few minutes, we kissed like mad. Jakob bucked his hips, rubbing his hard-on up and down my upper body. He lightly groaned as the stimulation made his cock fill with pleasure.

"You feel good on top of me," I softly said. My hands caressed his back.

We continued for several minutes. Kissing. Rubbing. Panting. We breathlessly whispered each other's names in our lust.

"You're so beautiful, Lance," he whispered to me. "I'm glad we're together."

He continued rubbing his cock into my abdomen. My hands clutched his ass and squeezed.

"Jakob, I'm so thankful you are here. With me. Tonight."

He continued to grind his erection into my body. His breathing became heavy. I soon wondered how close he was to coming.

Suddenly he stopped and looked at me.

"What am I doing? You're the birthday boy."

I chuckled and wanted to object, but he changed his body position. He moved between my outstretched legs and took my cock in his mouth for the first time.

"Ohhh," I softly moaned.

This was a new step. A big step. I hadn't been sucked since Trent and I had sex in my college apartment. It felt nice. Incredibly nice. His grip on my shaft worked the bottom half, while his mouth surrounded the upper inches. It was warm and wet and slippery and ... bliss.

"Jakoooooob," I whispered loudly.

Two fingers and a thumb formed a tighter ring at the base of my shaft. He massaged and stimulated my cock rhythmically. It had the timing of a washing machine but the sensations of car battery energizing the nerves within my erection. His lips feasted on my dick — and it was all his — sucking and moisturizing the skin. His tongue became involved and snaked around my manhood. The teasing on the underside of my cock began to drive me wild.

My arm jolted to his head. Jakob's hair was cut fairly short. It had a fuzzier feel than mine. I loved the softness as my fingers combed through the top of his head as it bobbed up and down over my crotch. The light stubble on his chin and the simplest of moustaches gave a slight tickle when he went deeper on my rod. I whimpered in approval of every movement.

My mind was in all kinds of euphoria. It wasn't just the blow job. That was admittedly wonderful, but it was Jakob ... it was us ... this was as far as we'd gone. We were sharing flesh. We weren't just pleasuring our own bodies; we were giving ourselves to the other. We were really having sex!

Suddenly, he took his grip from my cock and plunged down the entire tower jutting from my groin. He took it all in his throat.

"Holy shit," I breathlessly gasped.

He quickly slurped the thick eight-plus inches throbbing in his mouth. How was he doing that? Up and down in a rapid motion, Jakob orally serviced my full length like I had never felt. Even Jason didn't go quite this far. His stamina in providing an intense blowjob was ongoing. My legs began to jerk and hips writhe as he pleasured me. His hand fondled my balls that made me moan louder. I didn't feel like Evan could hear us, but he may have heard that. My cock throbbed. My groin throbbed. My chest throbbed. My neck throbbed. My eyelashes throbbed. My face was flush. I wanted to completely scream in ecstasy but held it in. I moaned in ragged breaths.

"I'm close, baby," I said.

Jakob grabbed my cock again and jerked the stiff meat with the pounding rhythm we both liked.

"Babe!" I called.

He removed his mouth but sensually kept his warm breath on my crotch. He licked the underside of the rim around the head on my erection. The first shot of cum burst from my dick. It hit my chin. That had never happened before. My hips bucked and I shut another stream landing between my pecs. With each spasm, I felt more of my liquid strike me on my hairless torso. Jakob didn't let up. Again and again my cock pulsed releasing every possible drop of semen my body had produced. I gave one last groan. My cock had fired its last shots of my load, but he pulled still. The force was less, but his strokes continued to rub my electrified skin.

"Fuck!" I whispered. "That was ama ..."

Before I could finish, he had run his tongue across my chin into my cum and kissed me with sticky lips. I gripped his shoulders. He maneuvered back to the position of rubbing his cock into my chest. Now it was lubed with my own semen making his movements slick and even more sensual.

"Yeah. Do that," I said. "Keep doing that."

He arched his back so that he could kiss me again. We moaned into each other's mouths. I didn't have to look to know his cock was coated in my own cum, rubbing and sliding on my body. The thought of his dredged dick enthralled me. He ran it through my bush and we both groaned together. His hips were pushing into me with solid force, but the slippery friction made it pleasurable for both of us.

"Jakob..." I whispered to him. "Jakob, yes."

His firm rod gliding on my abdomen, pushing it up and down in a pleasurable rhythm was hot. It was fun. It was ... I didn't know what I was feeling. My heart was about to burst. I was happy and elated and stimulated and ... HAPPY! I was overwhelmed that he and I were doing this ... and that it was him. Was I falling ...?

Jakob leaned down and whispered just above me ear.

"I'm coming, angel."

Jakob's orgasm spilled onto me. It was warm. I loved it. Stream after stream hit me as he lifted his body, holding me stiff-armed at my shoulders. We looked into each other's eyes throughout his climax. Once he stopped coming, we smiled at each other. We were breathless, gasping.

We looked at our lust swimming on my torso. He slowly moved his dick through it all. I reached to cup his ass.

"Now, THAT was a gift," I said.

"Oh. I do have something for you."

He went into the bathroom, got a wet towel to clean us off. In a slow tease, his finger stirred our cum together even more and then he slid the cocktail up and down both sides of my dick. Then his tongue licked it off a centimeter and a time. I gasped. Following my orgasm, his tongue was almost ticklish on my penis. Then he wiped us both clean and tossed the washcloth to the bathroom floor once we were more suited to be in the bedding.

He reached into his bag and pulled out a plain bag. It had white tissue coming out the top.

"I didn't really have a way to wrap it."

"Jakob. You didn't have to get anything at all. I said, `No gifts.'"

I peeled back the tissue and lifted a bottle out of the bag. It was a bottle of lube. I looked at it. It was scented with coconut. I popped it open to take a quick whiff.

"Nice. Sexy. Tropical," I said. "But ... why did you give me this after we had sex?"

"Because when we use that, Evan can't be here. We're going to tear this bedroom apart."

I laughed out loud.

I put it on the nightstand, turned out the light and pulled Jakob close to me. With another slight chuckle to his comment, we wrapped our arms around each other and kissed passionately.

Eventually exhausted, I held him from behind. The fact that he bought lube implied we would one day be fucking. I could look forward to that. I had wanted to fuck him for so long. But what if it didn't go well? I felt bad with the other two guys I attempted it with. But for some reason, this felt different. I didn't want to fuck him because it was hot. I wanted to fuck him because I ... wait.

I had strong feelings for Jakob. But I wasn't sure if it was love. Yet. That would have been fast. On the other hand, I couldn't wait to spend every minute I could with him. Maybe I was getting there. We seemed to be in a good place. I hope he thought we were. He seemed happy to be here. To be with me. Maybe we were succeeding against all the warnings. Or were we setting ourselves up for a bigger fall?

"So, can I ask how you feel?" I said to him.

"Hmm?"

"That was more than just jacking off. I thought that was crazy awesome sex. So, after that, how do you feel? Talk to me."

"Happy. I feel happy. I don't feel the need to drink, that's for sure. I used to. Once the guy had come in me, he wanted the bed to himself. I was usually back to my small space on a futon. At least at the last house. I'd grab a beer before sleeping. Sex used to be paired with drinking."

"But now?"

"Sex equals Lance. And it is so much better sober."

I squeezed him tighter. "Thanks for being my best gift," I whispered.

"Thanks for being my angel."

—

I picked Jakob up Saturday morning at 10:30. He had shaved and looked nice. His polo shirt was simple, but clean and nice, just a small notice of a wrinkle.

"I'm scared shitless," he said, getting into my car.

"Hey, she wanted to meet you. This is good."

"When I was kicked out, she was 13. She's seen me once since — drunk at a street fair. I probably looked like crap. I have no idea what my baby sister even thinks of me right now."

"The fact that she reached out is a good sign. Let's have faith."

We arrived a few minutes early so we chose a table that was slightly out of the way of the others.

"What's your sister's name?" I asked.

"Teresa. Oh, Lance, I'm so nervous. My heart is pounding."

"It's going to be fine, and I'm right here."

Jakob's body stiffened as he saw her walk in. I could sense him hold his breath. As she walked to the table, they stared at each other. He stood. Within seconds they were holding each other. I didn't realize I wasn't breathing until I felt myself take in a large, deep breath. They held each other for a long time. I could hear Teresa sob even though her face was on the other side of his. They broke their embrace and sat at the table.

"Teresa, this is Lance. He's my boyfriend."

"Hi, Teresa. It is very nice to meet you."

"Hi Lance."

"He's the one that encouraged me to write Mom the letter."

"Oh, Jakob. I saw her read that over and over. She misses you so."

"How's she doing?"

"Good. She works up at the church twice a week. She works as a substitute teacher a few days a week when school is in session. But after you left, she wasn't the same."

"None of us were," Jakob said.

"I'm so sorry this all happened." Teresa looked at her hands and then reached for Jakob's. "I'm really sorry. I've missed you so much. I'm glad you're okay."

"He's a survivor," I said.

"Thank heavens."

"Does Dad ever mention me?"

Teresa got silent. She lowered her head, so she wasn't looking at him.

"We're not supposed to mention you. On a rare occasion when someone says your name, Dad says, `We don't mention him in this house.'"

"Wow," I blurted out in disbelief.

"It's ... it is so sad," Teresa said. "Mom looks like she is being stabbed any time he says that."

"Does she not stand up to your father?" I asked.

"Oh, no. Dad is head of the household. They don't fight or anything, but he makes most of the decisions. I got my degree in May, and I'm ready to move out, but I fear for Mom when I do."

"Did Dad see my letter?" Jakob asked.

"I'm not sure. I just saw Mom reading it one day. I was glad to find your number."

"How is Keaton?" he asked.

They both looked at me. "Our brother."

"He's fine. He lives in Cedar Heights."

"Do you two ever talk about me?"

"No. I'm sorry, Jakob. He feels much like Dad. He says, `You got what you deserved.' At least in front of Dad. But I know he misses you. He has said that under his breath, even after talking bad about you."

I hated this. It killed me to hear it.

"I'm going to give you two a few minutes of private time. Let me get us something to drink."

I found out what they would like and took my time to get the beverages. I felt they needed a few minutes to themselves. I thought it was going fairly well. Despite some of the things being hard to hear, they were connecting. I watched as they would talk and nod and smile.

I almost teared up thinking about my dad. How did I get so lucky? Even if Oliver has somehow affected me, I have parents that are awesome. There should be some test, some manual, some ... law that requires parents to love their kids unconditionally. I grabbed a napkin as lids were being placed on our sodas. I wiped my eyes and then thanked the counter clerk for our drinks.

I sat them down for a moment. I pulled out my phone. I texted Dad, "Just wanted you to know that I love you and appreciate you."

A minute later, he replied. "I love you too. Is everything okay?"

"I'm fine. I just wanted you to know that."

A few minutes later, I brought us the drinks to the table. They both thanked me.

"I'm pleased you reached out, Teresa," I said. "I know Jakob has missed being with family."

"Please know I never wanted you to leave, Jakob. I missed my brother. I loved you. At the time, I didn't understand everything. Now ... as an adult, I know you didn't choose to be ..."

"Gay," we both said.

"Right. I know it's not a choice. It wasn't fair for them to force you out. Whatever they feel, I don't see how a parent could do that."

I wanted to scream "Totally!!" but held my tongue.

Teresa looked at me.

"I – I am glad you aren't alone. How did you two meet?"

"If you must know, we met through AA. We both developed drinking problems. My life ... when I was kicked out ... didn't go well."

Teresa's posture melted. "They thought if you wanted to come back, you'd give that life up."

"That life," Jakob scoffed. "I simply admitted I was gay. That was it. I wasn't really even doing anything. I kissed my friend a few times. That was it."

"I hate that," she said.

"I eventually had nowhere to go. I ended up staying with people who weren't good for me. It was fairly abusive. They introduced me to alcohol. Eventually, I was homeless."

"Oh, God," Teresa sobbed.

"Actually, I'm in a shelter right now, but ... the good news is, I'm sober, I have a job which I like ... and I met Lance. He's like an angel sent to me."

"He's done a lot for me, too," I said to her.

We held hands in front of her.

"For the first time in years, I feel like someone cares about me," Jakob said.

I sure did. More each day. Again I questioned if I was falling in love?

Before we left, I asked if I could take a picture of both of them. Afterward Teresa asked me to take one on her phone. Jakob looked happy.

—

After I had dropped Jakob off, I returned home. His shift started at noon, so I wasn't sure what to do for lunch. Within minutes, my phone buzzed. It was Trent.

"Are you home?" he said, but he sounded off. I knew something was wrong.

"Yeah. Are you okay?"

"Hell, no! You won't believe it. Dad tried to get Mike fired!!"

"WHAT??!"

"Exactly! He's an ass."

I couldn't believe it. I let Trent share the details. I had nothing to offer, but I just let him vent. I felt that was what he needed. He was clearly distraught. This was bad. I hated seeing my best friend hurt.

Trent finished his drive at my place. He didn't want to go home alone, but he was too self-conscious to return to Mike's place. Within seconds of being in my apartment, he was in my arms.

Mike texted, checking to see if Trent was okay. Trent replied, but he didn't call. He threw his phone on the couch.

He buried his face into my chest. I knew he was crying again. It destroyed me to see him this way. I felt completely helpless, hoping my arms around him were of some comfort.

"Why would my father do this to me, to Mike, to us. My God! I hate him so much. I fucking hate him."

I held him tighter. He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed.

"Trent. I don't know what to say. I can't begin to think of the right words. But I do know that Mike and you love each other. No matter what happens with your dad, you two will be okay. He is there for you. Just take this one day at a time."

"Fuck. How can Mike even look at me. My family almost ruined his career."

Eventually he slightly calmed down. He and I decided to grab a light lunch. We went back to the old college bistro. I grabbed a wrap; he got a burger but barely ate half of it. Trent was not in a good place. His breathing was off, his emotions were off, his Trent-ness was off. I loved this man, but he seemed so different in his inner rage.

I had earlier contemplated calling him this afternoon to see what he had thought of Jakob. We hadn't spoken since the birthday dinner. I thought I might tell him of our hot sex. This wasn't the time. His mind was on more pressing matters.

I did wonder though. Did Trent like Jakob? What if he didn't? I'd hate that, my best friend who I dearly loved didn't like the man I was in ...

Jakob was just my boyfriend. We had barely taken sex to its first steps. I needed to slow down. AA suggests those warnings of newcomers dating for a reason. I needed to keep it slow.

Trent felt he should return to Mike. I agreed. They had things to talk out. We stood and hugged.

"Call me if you need me. Love you, Trent."

"Thanks for being here for me. You always have my back. Love you, Lance." He kissed me on the cheek.

"Always," I whispered.

Trent got in his car and drove away. I leaned against my car. The day was warm but not hot. I looked forward to fall. As I watched Trent turn the corner, I was glad I could be there for him. I knew I loved him. I couldn't see that ever going away. Maybe it does in time. He and Mike are great together. I have accepted that. I love Mike too, really. But it doesn't hurt when Trent leaves like it used to. I don't ache. I know I owe that to Jakob. Is that why my feelings are so strong now? Had I fallen for Jakob? Or was he a momentary replacement? Shit. I can't hurt Jakob. I just can't. Surely what I felt was real.

—

Dad called me that evening. I shared the day with him. He was a good listener. I avoided asking about love.

* * * *

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