Thanks to Sarah and Rachel (who wrote Blink Meets NSYNC) for all their support, and for getting me into *NSYNC in the first place. Thanks to Cliff, for his postive response to this. I REALLY like feedback, because then I know people are reading what I write. Yeah, I love the power.
Disclaimer: I don't know NSYNC, so this is all fiction. I do not know their true sexuality, nor am I trying to imply that they are. If you're under 18, don't read this, you're illegal. If you don't like homoerotic stuff, why are you here?
Hey Mickey 2: Coming Clean
The next morning Justin walked over towards JC's room, wanting to explain, to talk. He needed to let him know. He had thought all night about it, and he knew that JC was all he wanted. The only thing that seemed right to the young man was his feelings for JC. He didn't know about being gay; he just wanted to hold JC, talk to JC, kiss JC. He sighed at the thought. He could figure out the rest of his feelings later, but he needed to come clean to JC. Plus, he had promised him he would. He needed to do something before it was too late, and JC fell for someone else. Thank God that Dan was just another guy, out of the many partners JC kept. He was five feet from JC's door when Dan popped out of the room, wearing just his boxer shorts.
"Oh, hi, Justin. Nice to see you...did you know that JC and I are...exclusive now? Isn't that great?" Dan asked with a hint of contempt in his voice. Justin's face fell.
"Uh, yeah...great," Justin hurried past Dan and into Chris's room. Dan just smirked behind him in the hallway.
"Chris. I need to talk to you. Please?" Justin pleaded.
Chris opened his eyes, and got up, carefully removing his arm from underneath his partner, trying not to disturb Joey. "What's up?" Chris asked, noticing the redness in Justin's eyes. "Are you OK?" he asked, getting up quickly, concern crossing his face. Joey, too, began to stir.
"Justin . . . why are you here? Hey, what's wrong?" Joey asked, placing a quick morning kiss on Chris's forehead.
"Umm . . . I needed to talk to Chris. Privately."
"You can tell Joey, Justin. He won't make fun of you. Hell, he's been in your situation!"
"Yeah, I guess you're right," Justin admitted. "Joey, I think I have feelings for JC. No, that's not right, I KNOW I have feelings for JC. He's all I ever think about."
"If you say "He's all I ever wanted, yeah!" I'm outta here," Joey laughed.
Justin's eyes darkened, as he didn't find the humor in his problem.
Chris noticed Justin's response and hit Joey with the back of his hand across the arm. "Joey, give the kid a break. He's obviously thought a lot about this, in order to accept these feelings. He only just realized that he might not be straight, and it's hard on him. But, I have a feeling something else might be bothering him now . . . am I right?"
Justin's eyes started to well with tears on the brink of being shed, creating a cloudy gray shadow in his normally bright blue eyes. "Well," he began, somehow managing to keep his tears back, "I was going to tell JC everything, because he should know. Anyway, I walked out into the hall to see him, when Dan walked out of JC's room, in his boxer shorts."
"Justin, you know they sleep together. That doesn't mean that Dan is significant to JC," Chris tried to comfort him.
"No, that's, that's not all," Justin stammered, barely able to keep his red eyes dry, "Dan said that he and JC were, were, were exclusive now." Chris and Joey looked stunned.
"Exclusive? Are you sure? JC's always concerned about how hard the road is on a relationship. Why the hell would he start one now, in L.A., no less? If it were Orlando, I might understand," Joey pondered inconsiderately. Chris socked him in the stomach, trying to shut him up. Joey looked pissed, but then realized how insensitive he was being to his friend. "Er, sorry Justin. That really sucks." Chris flashed him a glare, grabbed Justin's arm, and pulled him away from Joey so that they could talk alone in the corner. Joey got up and started to get ready for the day.
"Chris...what am I going to do?"
"I don't know. I'm so sorry," Chris hugged Justin against his chest, as the tears finally flowed from his eyes.
"This was the only thing that ever felt really right to me. The one thing I knew was how I felt about JC. How could it be so wrong? Why, Chris?" Justin sobbed into Chris's chest. Chris just held his friend and rocked him back and forth.
"Yo! Justin! Where are you?" Lance called from the hallway. He knocked on Chris's door. "Hey, have you seen . . .," he stopped, noting that Justin was there. "Justin! What's wrong? You seemed so happy this morning, when you left our room. Is he Ok?" he asked Chris.
"Justin's been through a lot."
"What? Can you tell me, Justin?" Lance asked softly, slightly hurt that his friend hadn't confided in him.
"Sure, why not? Then I'll go running and screaming it down the hall, directly into Dan's face," Justin mumbled.
"What?! Are you mad at me? What's up?" Lance asked, concerned at his friend's behavior.
"No, no, no. I'm just really upset. I'm sorry. Chris, could you tell Lance? I don't think I could handle telling that story again. I'm gonna go take a shower and try to forget this whole thing. Oh, and Lance, I'm really sorry if I hurt your feelings, but I'm really, really upset right now. I love you," he said, hugging his friend contritely. Justin left the room, and Chris explained Justin's whole story to Lance.
"Oh, man. Poor kid, he must be so confused and hurt," Lance mused when Chris finished.
"Yeah. Thank God my man felt the same way about me when I realized my feelings!" Joey laughed, kissing Chris on the lips. Lance rolled his eyes.
"Oh, don't roll your eyes! You're just jealous that you don't have a boyfriend!"
"Well, I'm on the road too much. It wouldn't work," Lance stated glumly. Joey ruffed Lance's blond hair, as Lance raised his head sadly.
"ANYWAY, what are we gonna do to help the kid?" Chris asked with a hint of annoyance creeping into his voice.
"I don't know . . . he probably should still talk to JC. He can't keep this a secret from him. Though, he'll probably just end up really hurt," Lance pondered.
"Exactly. He should do what he feels is right, but my guess would be that it would perhaps be best to wait until Dan and JC blow over. Damn, they really don't seem like a couple to me. JC keeps saying he wants more," Chris said.
"Well, maybe the steady relationship is the "more" he wanted," Lance suggested.
"No, he knows they have nothing in common. I really don't get it."
JC bounded into the room, a childish look of pleasure on his face. "Guess what guys?!" he asked excitedly, completely oblivious to the somber mood in the room.
"What?" Lance barked.
JC looked confused, but he giggled and announced, "Dan and I are exclusive!
Isn't that great?"
"Um, yeah. That's great, JC. But I thought Dan was just a fling," Chris said.
A dark look crossed JC's face, as he thought of Justin. "Do you want the truth?" he asked.
"That would be nice . . .," Joey joked, trying to keep the mood light.
"Well, I want to have a serious relationship, and, uh, well, Dan asked. I really want this to work. Have you guys seen Justin?" JC asked.
"Huh? Oh, yeah. He's in the shower," Chris asked, surprised by the sudden change in topic of conversation.
"Hmm...maybe I'll go wait for him. He told me he had something he wanted to talk to me about. He seems . . . distant, I guess," JC said wistfully heading out the door.
After he had left, "I wanted a serious relationship and Dan asked?!? What the hell is that?!! We should tell Justin to discuss his feelings with JC, because it seems like JC just wants someone, and he doesn't really know who," Chris surmised.
"Yeah, I agree. We'll have to tell Justin that it's probably not that serious. Poor kid," Joey said.
Justin cried in the shower, letting the salty tears on his face mingle with the hot clean drops of water pouring out from the shower head. "Damn it! What the hell! Why was I going to allow myself to tell JC? He doesn't want me . . . I'm just an inexperienced kid to him. Or, I'm like his brother. Shit, I'm SO glad I didn't tell him, even if Dan weren't here. I'm not his," Justin concluded.
As Justin explored his emotions in the shower, JC came into the hotel room Justin and Lance shared. He sat down on the bed, facing the bathroom, and noted that the humidity in the room was growing and the strengthening midmorning sun was unbearably intensifying the heat. "Why is this hotel so hot? You'd think they could spring for air conditioning," he said aloud while pulling off his tight black T-shirt, leaving on his white wife beater.
His strong chest glistened with sweat. JC's thoughts began to wander to Justin, and how he, at that exact moment, was naked. JC shook his head violently, trying to forget the image, but he couldn't let the thought of how the stream of hot soapy water was trickling down Justin's smooth shoulders out of his mind. "I have to forget about him. He's straight; he'll never change. Oh, and I'm dating Dan now. Just Dan," JC had to remind himself.
Justin stepped out of the shower and onto the tiles of the bathroom floor, which were sticky with humidity. He began looking around anxiously for his towel. "Great, just great! I left my towel in the room. Oh well, I don't think Lance is around, and if he is . . ., well, he won't care," Justin decided. Justin stepped out of the bathroom completely naked, and upon hearing the opening of the door, JC looked up from the bed, his face inches from Justin's genitalia.