Hey there! Thanks to the people who email me all the time, I love you! Of course, new admirers are always welcome, too! And also anyone with criticism; I just like feedback.
Happy birthday to Justy with his cute new haircut! I thought the Superbowl show was great (except for Miss Spears); it was so . . . big and cheesy, like it should be.
Well, I guess I didn't manage to finish Hey Mickey this month, and I'm sorry. Not much left though, I think. (Well, to me, that's like four parts, at least, I think . . . don't hold me to anything).
****DISCLAIMER: This is fiction, I don't own anyone, I don't know anyone in the story. Therefore, I don't know their true sexuality, and I don't mean to imply that anyone is something they're not. Also, if it's illegal where ever you are to read this, then don't. Hmm... and if you're against male homosexuality, then don't read this.
Last time, on Hey Mickey: "I thought she was going to punch you."
"So did I. I still can't believe she made you choose."
"Me either. Thank you, Josh."
"I love you, too." JC hugged Justin again and kissed his forehead.
There was a timid knock at the door. ________________
Hey Mickey 17: In Repair
"Uh, guys? It's time for makeup." Lance said quietly. He had heard the shouting and had watched Lynn storm out.
"Huh? Oh." Justin replied.
JC looked at his boyfriend. He could see the redness in his eyes, betraying his otherwise calm exterior. "C'mon, Just. Let's have a great show," JC said cheerfully.
"Yeah."
Throughout the show, Justin couldn't help but look at the empty spot in the seats where his mother was supposed to be. Well, not his mother anymore. Lynn. He didn't have a mother now. He thought about it, and she hadn't really given him a choice about his life. She had abandoned him. He wasn't fooled. She had complete control of the situation, and it was her fault. She chose not to accept him for he is, and then she forced him to leave her.
Then he realized that he had just missed a few steps while pondering his mother's action. He couldn't concentrate at all on the show at hand, as his thoughts kept wandering back to what his mother had done to him. Justin's dance moves were flawed and off tempo as his mind wandered and his eyes kept drifting back to that empty seat in the front of the audience. His notes were even starting to go off-key and he cringed whenever he caught himself. He finally got fed up with himself and just lost himself in the performance, putting everything else aside for awhile.
But, Justin's odd behavior and uncharacteristically sloppy performance did not go unnoticed by his band mates and his management.
"Justin, baby?"
"What, Josh?!!"
JC looked a little taken aback by Justin's reply. "I'm sorry, Just, I just . . . are you OK?"
"No," Justin sighed. "I miss my mommy," he replied childishly while burrowing his head into JC's warm body.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be; it's not your fault."
"But if it weren't for me . . . ."
"Then I'd still have a mother who only loved me for what she wants me to be, and I'd be alone. Then I'd really be miserable. She didn't make me choose, Josh. She chose not to love me, and in return forced me to leave her. I just . . . " Justin started sobbing against JC's chest. JC fingered the curls at the base of Justin's neck, trying to calm him down.
"Just, what, baby?"
"I just wish she did love me. I wish Lynn were like your mom," Justin choked out.
"Me too, Justin. But, you do still have my mom. She loves you like you were one of her own. You can have Tyler's place in the family, I don't mind. He always used to steal my He-Man action figures, anyway."
Justin smiled despite himself at JC's pitiful attempt to cheer him up. "You're a dork."
JC cracked a smile at his boyfriend, "You make me a dork."
"You're cheesy, too."
"Justin?"
"Yeah, Jace?"
"We'll make it through this together."
"I know. I just can't help feeling sad."
"I know, I know, Justin. It's her fault she can't see past her narrow view of love and religion, but maybe one day she'll realize what she's given up."
"I hope so," Justin smiled weakly at JC.
"Justin? JC? Johnny wants to discuss tonight's concert with us . . . now!"
Chris hollered through their door.
"Shit. He's mad at me, isn't he?" Justin asked JC as they got up and started walking towards the rest of the band. JC grabbed Justin's hand and they walked through the door together. They sat down next to each other on one of the couches in the suite common room and looked expectantly to their manager, Johnny.
Johnny took a deep breath and began, "Guys, this is not what I want to have to be saying . . . ." Justin clasped JC's hand tighter. "But tonight's show sucked."
Five heads nodded sheepishly in agreement.
"We have to stop that. Tonight's only one night, but I don't want it to become a habit. Some of you are at bad time in your personal lives right now, and I just wanted to say . . . "
"What, Johnny?! You're not going to make us break-u--"
"I just wanted to say that I want you all to be happy, to cheer up, and get back on your feet, JC," Johnny smiled at JC as the look of concern washed away from his young face. "I also wanted to say that we, your management, are willing to help. Anything you need, we'll get for you."
"Thanks, Johnny," JC replied, slightly embarrassed that he thought that Johnny would be unfair in this situation.
Lance spoke up, "I want to be able to date whoever I want. That will make me happy."
Johnny looked uncomfortable, "Lance, I'm sorry . . . it just can't happen. We can't fully trust Wade, and he's your employee. It just isn't right, Lance."
Lance hung his head in defeat, and Justin gave him a caring look from the couch he shared with JC. "Fine, no employees," Lance muttered.
"I'm sorry, Lance," Johnny reiterated.
"I know."
"Are the rest of you alright?"
Chris nodded his head as did Joey. JC looked at Justin who said, "I will be," and then JC tentatively nodded his head yes.
"Good then. I think you all need some rest, so no partying tonight, you hear?" Johnny smiled
"Yeah, I need to sleep," Justin said. JC took his hand and they went back into their bedroom.
Once they had left, Johnny turned to the group and said, "Poor kid. His mom deserted him?"
Lance nodded.
"Well, hopefully he'll be better in a few more days, right? This seems to have hit him pretty hard," Johnny said before saying good bye and leaving the guys' suite.
"Poor Justin," Chris murmured.
"I just want to go to sleep."
"I understand."
"I'm tired, and cranky, and upset."
"I know, baby."
''I'm sorry Lynn said those things to you, Josh."
"It's not your fault, Justin."
Justin looked up at JC. "It's not yours, either."
"OK."
"You have to know that's true, Jace. It's not your fault."
"Bu-"
"No buts, Joshua Scott Chasez! You are not responsible for my mother's actions! I'm gay!! She just can't accept that," Justin said in exasperation.
JC laughed despite himself when Justin called him by his full name, "I just feel--"
"What? Don't tell me you don't feel you like you're not enough for me, or whatever. JC, as long as I have you, I have everything in the world. You're the only thing keeping me from drowning in all this shit. You're wonderful."
"OK, you win. I'm wonderful. Now, go to bed young man!"
"Yessir! Will you tuck me in?"
JC laughed. "Only if I can hold you all night."
Justin looked up in thought, biting his lower lip as he mulled it over, "Mmmm . . . OK!"
"Justin?"
"Wha?!"
"You're wonderful, too."
"I know!" Justin laughed, winking at JC. JC rolled his eyes, "Oh, and you're soooo humble, too."
Justin laughed, "You think my cockiness is sexy, and you know it."
"Fine, you win. You're right. You're cocky, and wonderful, and sexy, and you know me too well to let me get away with anything. I can't win. You're perfect."
Justin leaned in and kissed JC gently as they lay down in bed together, "You better not forget that." And then the exhausted pop star fell asleep in his older boyfriend's arms.
"How could I ever?" JC whispered before lightly brushing his lips across Justin's forehead.