The usual copyrights exist on this as well as all of my works. This story involves sexual contact between young males. If this type of story is not what you're accustomed too, fit for your liking, or for any reason forbidden where you live, please do not read any further. I also apologize for any vulgar and offensive language that may be presented. This is the way that I depict my characters and I will write them accordingly. On the other hand, if none of the above applies to you then enjoy this and many of my other works of fiction.
Chapter 34 Waiting...with Open Arms
I watched Brandon as he got inside the car and wined the windows down to stare at me. He stared lovingly and deeply into my eyes as I stared into his. Brandon motioned with his hand for Shon to drive as they left the church parking lot, with me standing there. My heart broke as they drove down the street.
I reached for my phone in my pocket as Brandon sent a text saying `I Love You!' I texted back telling him "you're no different from Daniel" and pressed SEND. I turned around and saw Terrance standing at the doorway as I placed my hands over my face and cried.
I didn't know what else to do. This is the second time that Brandon has walked out on me, in two days, when I needed him the most.
Terrance began walking over to me as I wiped my eyes and started to walk away from him.
"Jayse don't walk away from me please" Terrance begged.
"Leave me alone!" I screamed, "I don't feel like talking."
"Jayse I'm here for you" Terrance said as I stopped walking and faced him.
"You know what?" I said starting out, "a lot of people have said that lately and I'm starting to think no one means it."
"I mean it" Terrance said walking up to me.
"No you don't" I said crossing my arms over my chest upset. I kept looking in the direction that Brandon and Shon left in, hoping that maybe they would turn around and forget what they were going to do, but they never did.
"Don't say that Jayse" Terrance said trying to touch my shoulder as I moved away from him, "you're upset right now, you don't mean that."
"I do Terrance!" I said looking into his eyes, "you're just like Brandon and Q. You guys tell me what I want to hear and then disappear when I need you."
"First of all I'm not like those guys" Terrance said upset as I rolled my eyes, "and second of all, you never really gave me a chance like you did with them."
I stared into Terrance's eyes, knowing exactly what he meant. I couldn't take his presence so I turned around and began walking away. I didn't know where I was going. I didn't want to walk in the back of the church because my dad's body was there and I didn't want to walk inside to deal with family and friends.
I escaped back into the main sanctuary, praying that Terrance wasn't following me. I closed the door and walked down the aisle towards the altar.
I started having flashbacks of what transpired a few hours ago, as my body started experiencing chills.
I sat down on one of the pews and closed my eyes praying for Brandon's protection. Just as I was near completion, the door opened and I knew who it was.
I looked back and sighed when I found out that it was Terrance.
"Terrance I told you, leave me alone" I said turning back around and sulking on the pew.
"I just want to make sure you're ok" Terrance said walking towards my pew, "you really shouldn't be alone right now."
"I'm fine" I said folding my arms over my chest, pouting, as Terrance sat behind me.
"You're lying in church" Terrance said as I sighed and realized that he was right.
"Terrance...please" I whined not in the mood, "just leave me alone!"
"I'm sorry" Terrance said sadly, "I'm just trying to help, I'm not looking for nothing in return. I just want to make sure you're ok!"
We sat in silence as I felt bad for the way I just talked to him. I looked back and saw Terrance sitting there looking helpless.
"I'm sorry Terrance" I said apologizing, "I'm just...I just have a lot going on right now."
"I know and it's cool" Terrance said, "but let me at least be there for you if no one else is."
"To don't understand...I mean this is the second time that Brandon's ran out on me in two days!" I said frustrated.
"Where is he going?" Terrance asked.
"Out to avenge...whatever" I said not really caring.
"He should be here with you, Jayse" Terrance said as I nodded my head playing with the back of the seat.
"I know! That's what I told him" I said as I sighed really heavy.
"You know, out of respect for you and God" Terrance said pausing and shaking his head, "I'm going to keep my opinion about Brandon to myself."
"Well thank you because I really don't want to hear you bashing my boyfriend right now" I said as Terrance looked at me shock.
"You still want to go out with this guy?" Terrance said as I rolled my eyes and sighed with frustration, "I'm just saying Jayse, you two really don't seem compatible and given what has transpired thus far, maybe you two need to read the writings on the wall and end this."
"Are you trying to be my friend right now or are you trying to get with me?" I asked as Terrance bit his bottom lip, "hello?"
"I'm not going to answer that" Terrance said as I got up from my seat.
"Brandon was right all along" I said as Terrance stood up and walked over in front of me, blocking my path up the aisle.
"Right about what?" Terrance asked as I tried to walk past him, to the right, but he only moved towards that direction.
"Terrance I'm not in the mood to play right now" I said moving to the left as he moved over again, blocking my path.
"Jayse I'm not playing neither" Terrance said as I sighed and stopped moving, "I just want to make sure you're ok and take care of you."
"God..." I said turning around and walking back to my seat, "I've heard that line so many times, it's kind of hard believing those words anymore."
"Jayse..." Terrance said coming to sit by me as I looked at him and he went to the next pew, to sit behind me again, "why are you categorizing me with everyone else?"
"Because you're just like everyone else!" I said with my back to him.
"No I'm not!" Terrance said leaning over my pew, "I've never hurt you."
"Yes you have" I said looking at Terrance as he looked at me confused, "you never told me that you had a crush on me."
"Because you were already talking to someone" Terrance said sighing, "so I just figured that I would stay back and let you have your space."
"Well you really can't be my friend and have a crush on me" I said facing Terrance as he looked away.
"Why not?" Terrance asked with his face turned away from me.
"You know why" I replied, "feelings will get involved and it's going to get really difficult."
"Well which title do you want me to be?" Terrance asked looking into my eyes as I looked into his. I stared at him and then turned my head away, trying my best to resist temptation and kiss him, that very moment. He looked so gorgeous and out of Brandon and Quentin, he was the only one that gave me less drama.
Terrance was the only one that never lied intentionally to my face, even though he did keep the fact away from me that he had a crush on me all these months. Still, he respected me enough to fall back and not interfere, like Q did.
"I'm not going to answer that" I said taking Terrance phrase as he nodded his head at me.
"Fair enough, guess I kind of deserved that" Terrance said sitting back in his seat, as I nodded my head, "well the most important thing is you're surrounded by friends and family members right now."
"Yea I know" I said changing the subject, "but family is the last thing I want right now."
"Do you want to talk about something else?" Terrance asked.
"No...I just want to go home" I said sadly.
"Do you want me to take you there?" Terrance asked as I turned around to face him. I thought about it for a minute and decided to just go home and relax before everyone got there.
"Yes please" I said as Terrance stood up and extended his hand for me to grab. I contemplated about grabbing it or not and though the gesture was nice, it was a little too much. Terrance must have read my expression and pulled his arm back.
"Sorry" Terrance said as I got up and walked.
"It's ok" I said as Terrance walked beside me. As we opened the doors and walked through the lobby, we could see that my family was still in the fellowship hall, talking and mingling with people.
"Where did you park?" I asked stopping at the front steps of the church.
"A little ways down" Terrance said, "I can bring my car over here?"
"It's ok, I don't mind walking" I said as Terrance stopped me.
"No stay right here" Terrance said, "I'll go and grab my car."
I watched Terrance walk away excited as I contemplated if I was doing the right thing. Maybe I should just go home with my family, but I already asked Terrance to take me home.
Terrance came back a few minutes later with his car as I watched him wait for me. I looked at him nervous as he looked at me confused.
"Jayse I'm not going to do anything to you" Terrance said, getting out of his car and walking over to me, "I'm just taking you home."
"I know" I said, "I'm not worried about that."
"Do you want to go with your family instead?" Terrance asked as I sighed and thought about the millions of questions I would face about Brandon's disappearance.
"No you know what?" I asked looking at Terrance, "can we go to your place instead?"
"You sure?" Terrance asked me trying to hide his smile.
"Yea...I mean if you don't mind?" I asked.
"No Jayse" Terrance said, "I don't have a problem with that at all."
"Cool" I said walking down the steps towards Terrance's car. When I got to the passenger side, he opened the door for me, which was not surprising considering how much of a gentleman Terrance was.
"Thank you" I said getting in the car, as Terrance closed the door behind me.
"You're welcome" Terrance said walking around to the driver's side.
He cranked up his car, put on his seatbelt and drove out the parking lot. I watched him out the corner of my eyes and could tell that he was excited about me going to his home.
"Anything in particular you want to listen to?" Terrance asked trying to find a station.
"No...I'm fine" I said twiddling my thumbs as he drove.
"Of course you know since my parents are divorcing" Terrance said starting out, "I'm staying with my mom until I move into my new place next month."
"Really?" I asked looking at him, surprised about the moving statement, "I had no idea that you were getting your own place. That is so cool!"
"Well we haven't really been talking like we used to" Terrance stated as I looked away embarrassed.
"I know" I said sadly as Terrance noticed my expression.
"Jayse I'm sorry" Terrance said looking over at me, "I mean just given the way things have sort of went all over the place lately, I didn't mean to upset you."
"It's fine" I said giving him a fake smile and then changing the subject, "well congratulations, I'm happy for you."
"Thank you" Terrance said, "you should come and visit one day when you go off to school...if you don't forget about me."
"I won't" I said quickly.
"You won't forget about me or you won't come and visit?" Terrance asked laughing nervously.
"I won't be going to school" I said as Terrance looked over at me shocked.
"You're joking right?" Terrance asked still smiling as he looked alternately between me and the road as I never responded.
"But what about your dreams Jayse?" Terrance asked shocked, "are you serious about this?"
"I don't feel like talking about it right now" I said regretting even getting in his car. If he kept up trying to convince me to talk about it, then I was going to ask him to take me home.
"Ok..." Terrance said sighing, "If you don't want to talk about that, then we don't have to."
"Thank you" I said glad to know that he wasn't going to intrude.
"But can I say one thing, please?" Terrance said as I got ready to tell him to take me home.
"Terrance..." I said as he cut me off.
"I was just going to say that, you know what you are capable of" Terrance said as I listened, "don't short change yourself for anyone...not even family. You're in charge of your own destiny."
"Thank you" I said taking his words in.
"You're welcome, I mean, I know it's kind of cheesy but my mom tells me that all the time" Terrance said smiling as I joined him.
"It's not cheesy Terrance" I said, "I appreciate the words of encouragement."
"No problem" Terrance said looking over at me, "glad to help."
We drove for a couple minutes more as we drove to his mom's condo. Once he parked his car and turned off the ignition, he looked over at me and smiled.
"You ok?" Terrance asked grabbing his keys and noticing my nervous expression.
"I'm fine" I said unbuckling my seat belt as Terrance followed suit.
"If you want Jayse, I can just take you home" Terrance said as I stared into his eyes.
"No I really don't want to go home right now" I said as Terrance nodded his head. I reached for my door handle as Terrance did the same and we got out of his car.
We walked through the parking garage to the condo as I marveled at the landscape of the complex. It was beautiful! Something that resembled a movie or Beverly Hills, but I had no idea that the Grove had a place like this present.
Terrance walked ahead of me as I was mesmerized by his walk. He displayed confidence in his walk to be a pretty boy that you would be at a loss for words upon meeting him. Terrance flung his jacket over his shoulder as played with his keys in his left hand while we walked through the front doors of the building, to the apartment.
"This place is nice" I finally said trying to change the subject of being mesmerized by him secretly.
"I know" Terrance said, "I love it here! If only I could afford a place like this."
"One day" I said as Terrance pressed the button for the elevator.
"Yea I hope...with someone special" Terrance said looking over at me and smiling.
"What?" I asked smiling back nervous.
"Nothing" Terrance said as the elevator opened up, "just can't believe that you're finally coming to my place."
"Your mom's place" I said correcting him and walking inside the elevator as Terrance followed.
"Same thing smarty pants" Terrance said as I laughed.
"Smarty pants?" I asked surprised, "is that the best you can do?"
"What all the other words I want to use, you might find offense to" Terrance said smiling as I joined him.
"Like what?" I asked intrigued.
"Cutie...Sexy...Beauty..." Terrance said as I cut him off.
"Ok never mind" I said as Terrance smiled and hunched his shoulders.
"Can't blame a guy for trying" Terrance said as I blushed.
Once we got to the floor of the apartment, we got out and walked down the hall.
"We're here" Terrance said stopping.
"Good" I said as Terrance unlocked the door and opened it for me. I walked ahead of him and looked around at all the fancy portraits and plants inside of his mom's condo.
"This place is beautiful" I said as Terrance closed the door behind me.
"My mom likes nice things" Terrance chimed in, "let me take your coat and you can have a seat over there. Do you want anything to drink?"
"Water is fine" I said handing my coat to Terrance as I walked over slowly to the plush sofa. I sat down and continued looking around at the photos of Terrance on the wall. He was such a cute little baby, courtesy of being an interracial baby I guess.
I got up and walked over to a portrait done of Terrance when he looked to be about five or six, sitting in the lap of a huge Teddy Bear.
"Aww" I sighed to myself admiring the 14 x 20 portrait.
"Stop it" Terrance said walking from the kitchen with two glasses of water in his hands.
"I can't help it, thanks" I said taking the glass from his right hand, "you were a very adorable baby."
"Thanks" Terrance said taking a sip and looking up at the portrait, "I'm ok."
"You're more than ok" I said taking a sip from my glass as well, "have you ever done any modeling?"
"No, I'm not into all of that stuff" Terrance said.
"You should definitely consider it" I said taking a gulp of my water.
"I'm more of an outdoors man and community service" Terrance said walking over to the sofa as I followed him, "I don't have time for cameras."
"Such a pretty boy thing to say" I said setting my glass on the table.
"Why do you say that?" Terrance asked sitting back.
"Because you're gorgeous" I said feeling bad for saying that as Terrance smiled, "I mean you know it already but you're so modest."
"First of all I'm not modest" Terrance said trying hard to not smile, "and second thank you but I'm not gorgeous."
"Yes you are and you know it" I said as Terrance blushed.
"No I'm not quit saying that" Terrance said turning red.
"Oh my gosh, look at you" I said noticing his skin change, "you're blushing!"
"No I'm not!" Terrance said trying to regain his composure but he couldn't stop blushing.
"Yes you are" I said laughing, "I never saw this before!"
"STOOOPPPP!!!" Terrance said grabbing a pillow to hide his face as I grabbed the pillow to stop him.
"You can't help it, look at you!" I said in amazement from witnessing something like this, "I can't believe it. Let me see!"
"Stop it Jayse" Terrance said as I tried to pry the pillow from his hands, "please."
"Let me see your face again" I asked still trying to witness and relish in what I created.
"No!" Terrance said laughing hysterically as I finally pried the pillow from his hands and gazed into his green eyes. I didn't even realize that I was lying on top of him.
"Sorry" I said trying to remove myself from on top of him as he wrapped his right arm on my waist trying to hold me.
"Terrance..." I said softly trying to remove his hand.
"Please..." Terrance begged gazing into my eyes.
"I...I can't" I said as Terrance let go of me and I sat on the opposite end of the sofa. Terrance sat up and stared at the floor sadly.
"Why won't you give me a chance" Terrance said after the moment of silence.
"Because..." I said not facing him.
"Of him?" Terrance said upset as I sat quietly.
"I just don't understand Jayse" Terrance said getting up from his seat, "I'm a good guy, I don't fight, I'm not a criminal, and you still won't give me a chance. Why? I can give you so much more."
"Terrance..."I said trying to reason with him.
"I mean I care about you Jayse" Terrance said, "I've always cared about you! For months I held back my true feelings because I hate confrontation, but I'm tired. I'm tired of just sitting by and watching everyone else move in. I want to be with you Jayse. I love your laugh, your playfulness, your innocence and your beauty. You're the handsomest guy I've seen in a long time. I just want a chance to treat you right and do better by you and for you than those other guys have. Give me a chance! Please I promise you won't regret it."
"Terrance it's not that simple" I said as Terrance walked over to me and got on his knees.
"It would be if you allowed me to be a part of your life" Terrance said grabbing my hands, "I promise I'll NEVER hurt you! NEVER! Please Jayse!"
"Terrance..." I said.
"Please Jayse...I don't want to hear no anymore" Terrance begged with pleading eyes, "for months I've had this burning in my heart for you and I stood by and watched Q and Brandon move in but I don't want to anymore."
"Stop Terrance and let me speak" I begged.
"No because you're going to tell me no!" Terrance said as his voice broke, "and I'm tired of hearing no! I'm tired Jayse! I'm tired!"
"What if I can't tell you what you want to hear!" I said as my own voice broke and Terrance shook his head.
"You don't mean it" Terrance said as a tear fell from his eyes.
"How do you know?" I asked sniffing my nose.
"Because it's not what your heart wants" Terrance said, "you're heart wants to be loved and treasured, do you think Brandon can do that? How about?"
"Q has nothing to do with this" I said upset.
"Well Brandon? Do you think he can take care of you the way you want him to?" Terrance asked staring into my eyes. I paused and thought about it as he waited for my answer.
Just then my phone rang. I reached in my pocket to grab it as Justus asked where I was. Once I gave him the details of my location, he hung up but then Brandon called.
I looked over at Terrance as he rolled his eyes and got up from his knees to walk away.
"Once again I'm thrown to the side" Terrance said upset, walking over to step outside on the balcony, "I'll give you two your privacy."
"Terrance..." I said trying to call after him, but he closed the sliding door behind him. I inhaled a big breath and answered my phone.
"Hello" I said quickly with an attitude.
"What you picking up the phone like that for?" Brandon asked with an attitude.
"Brandon what do you want?" I asked frustrated.
"Jayse who are you talking to?" Brandon asked, surprised by my tone.
"You that's who" I said as Brandon tried to say something and I cut him off, "I need you right now and all you can think about is your vendetta against Krush."
"I'm doing this for us Babe" Brandon pleaded.
"I don't think so" I said quickly, "this is all about you flaunting around your masculinity. I'm tired of being swept under the rug."
"Ain't nobody sweeping you under the rug" Brandon said defensively.
"Then why aren't you here consoling me right now, Brandon" I said tearfully, "I just buried my dad today."
I waited for an answer from Brandon but he never gave one. I sniffed my nose and gripped the phone tighter, trying hard to not overreact. I was hurt, beyond words! I needed him the most right now and he wasn't there for me.
"Jayse I..." Brandon said as I hung up the phone. I knew what he was going to say and I didn't want to hear it. I wept in my hands feeling the betrayal wrap me like a warming quilt on a cold night.
How could someone say they love you one minute and never own up to the word the next?
A shining beacon of light, Piercing through fierce clouds, Develops into sheer delight, As beauty is shown all around.
No sound is made, Not a whisper can be heard, My fear starts to fade, As my lips part for a word.
Escape from my tongue, And enter the ear of my betrayer, Let no bell go unrung, Heal me o' gentle slayer.
His words cut deep, More than any other, Capture him in his sleep, And free me to another.
I got up from my seat on the couch and went walking towards the coat closet. Terrance heard me and came inside from the balcony.
"Jayse where are you going?" Terrance asked.
"I have to go" I said putting on my coat and walking towards the door as Terrance grabbed me.
"Wait a minute...don't go" Terrance said as I turned around to face him, "is it Brandon?"
I didn't answer him. I only turned my head to the side as Terrance nodded his head and accepted defeat.
"When he calls you go running?" Terrance asked as I got upset.
"Correction, I'm not going after him" I said angrily, looking into his eyes.
"Then why are you leaving?" Terrance asked as I looked at the floor.
"I just want to be alone right now" I said sadly as Terrance placed his finger under my chin and raised my head.
"You shouldn't be alone right now Jayse" Terrance said softly as he rubbed my face, "you just buried your dad; you need to be consoled right now."
"What are you doing now?" I asked referring to the touches.
"I'm trying to console you" Terrance said as I enjoyed his touches, "let me take care of you."
"Terrance...I can't" I said as Terrance continued rubbing my face.
"Please Jayse" Terrance begged, "I just want the same chance that you gave Q and Brandon."
"Can you please take me home?" I asked as Terrance sighed.
"Is that what you really want?" Terrance asked as I paused before answering.
"Yes" I answered as Terrance gave up and removed his hands from my face. I saw the hurt in his eyes as he looked at me one final time and sniffed his nose. I felt bad for him because I honestly think that things would have been better if I gave him a chance.
Terrance grabbed his keys and opened the door for me as I stepped out. He locked the door behind himself and walked down the floor with me in complete silence.
Nothing was said throughout our entire walk towards his car and the drive towards my house. I wanted to say something but the air between him and I felt so thick that I worried how I would convey the message.
I sighed and gazed out the window at the night sky as the sun was setting. What a day this was! Too much has happened not only today but throughout the course of these past couple of months.
"What's going on?" Terrance said speaking to himself, noticing his gas light cut on, "my gas tank was just half full, now it's empty."
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"I have to stop and get gas" Terrance said pulling into a gas station, "I'll be right back."
I waited in the car as Terrance paid for his gas. I watched him from my window as my phone rang, it was Brandon. Choosing not to answer it, I sent the call to voicemail as Brandon called again. Next he was sending me text messages non stop, which all said, "pick up your phone."
"What Brandon?" I said answering my phone.
"Where are you?" Brandon asked in a panicked voice.
"Why do you want to know?" I asked.
"Jayse now is not the time to be acting up, where the hell are you?" Brandon asked frustrated.
"I'm with a friend" I replied quickly.
"Who...Terrance? I just called all your other friends and they don't know where you are!" Brandon said.
"Well you should have called my family, they know where I am" I said sharply.
"Look where are you and Terrance at right now?" Brandon asked.
"Why are you asking me all these questions?" I asked as Brandon cut me off.
"Because Jayse you need to find some place safe, your life could be in danger" Brandon said as my heart dropped.
"What?" I asked as someone tapped at the window. I looked up and saw someone in a ski mask.
"Jayse? Jayse? Hello?" Brandon said as I dropped my phone. I quickly tried locking the door but I didn't notice someone already opening the driver's door to get me.
I screamed as I felt the strong hands grab my waist and pull me. I kicked and screamed, luckily kicking the horn, which grabbed Terrance's attention. He looked from inside of the store and came running towards me.
"Terrance help me!" I screamed panicking.
"Jayse! Hey, what are you doing? Stop!" Terrance said as one of the guys threw me inside of a van and closed the door.
"Where the fuck do you think you're going?" one of the men said to Terrance, pulling out a gun. I banged from the inside of the van as the other guy pulled out a gun on me and told me to shut up. I curled up into a ball and found the nearest corner of the van fearing for my life. Terrance stopped in his tracks and threw his hands up pleading with the man.
"Please don't hurt him!" Terrance said as the guy slowly got into the van, "please let him go! Where are you taking him?"
"That's none of your business, pretty boy" the guy said still holding the gun to Terrance as the other prepared to drive, "come on let's get out of here."
As they sped out of the parking lot, my heart started racing over what was going to happen to me. I was scared and just wanted to be comforted today.
I was too scared to speak. I was too scared to even move. I curled up into the fetal position on the floor and cried as I awaited my fate. As I thought of everything everyone told me about Brandon, I was starting to agree.
I heard it so many times from everyone saying how Brandon's life was too dangerous' or he's going to hurt me' and even the fact that `we just weren't compatible.' I chose to stay by him and remain faithful but look at what I am gaining: I'm being kidnapped against my own will.
I sat in my corner and prayed as my kidnappers took me wherever I was going. I couldn't see anything because there were no windows and I was too afraid to look up front.
"I hope this guy is worth it" one of the guys said as I tried my best to listen in on the conversation.
"Relax the boss has a big plan for him" the driver said as my heart raced.
"It seems like we're doing too much just for the one plan he has in store" the other guy said.
"Naw once the boss takes care of him, we all get paid good" the driver said laughing as the other guy joined in.
"I was thinking about the pay out all day" I heard the guy say rubbing his hands together.
"Hey, hey, hey, hey, remember just like the boss said, the plan has got to go according to the way he wants it to go before we all get paid" the driver said as I heard the other guy groan in disappointment.
"How does he know that this guy will bite the bait?" the other guy asked worried.
"If he loves that kid back there, he'll bite" the driver said as I closed my eyes knowing exactly what I being used for. The price I get for falling in love with a criminal.
Please feel free to email comments and suggestions at jaypoet929@yahoo.com. Special thanks to all the fans so far. Thank You for reading my story. Peace and Love.