The usual copyrights exist on this as well as all of my works. This story involves sexual contact between young males. If this type of story is not what you're accustomed too, fit for your liking, or for any reason forbidden where you live, please do not read any further. I also apologize for any vulgar and offensive language that may be presented. This is the way that I depict my characters and I will write them accordingly. On the other hand, if none of the above applies to you then enjoy this and many of my other works of fiction.
Chapter 28 Daddy's Gone
I woke up with a stiff cramp in my neck as I looked around the waiting room at Jamarion and Ebony. I was surprised to see that she stayed because I honestly thought that she would go home. Ebony was on a nearby chair with her head resting on Jamarion's shoulders as he slept with his head threw back over a chair.
I looked for my mom and got up in a panic out of the room. I asked the nurses at the station if they had seen her but they were all just coming in to start their shift. I looked at my watch and it was 6:15 so I knew that she had to be nearby.
I walked down every hall but it never dawned on me to check my dad's room. Once I walked in there she was lying on his bed sleeping next to him. I held back the tears as much as I could but that display of affection was priceless.
I saw the machines hooked up to my dad and my heart broke seeing him in so much pain. I walked slowly toward the bed trying to not make any noise. I stared at the two of them. They looked so peaceful laying side by side. She had her head rested on his shoulder and her right hand was laced into his left.
Nothing looked more beautiful to me. Nothing in the world mattered to me. I could stare at them for hours not because of the image but because this was what I wanted. I always said that their relationship was what I wanted to mock. The love, and trust not to mention the affection is what I wanted most of all.
"They are so beautiful aren't they?" a nurse asked walking into the room.
"Huh" I asked turning around to face her, "oh yea they are."
"You must be their son" the nurse asked changing my dad's IV pack.
"Yes I am" I said still staring at their faces. They were both so deep in their sleep that they didn't even hear us talking.
"I could tell" the nurse said grabbing the tray of food from the table, "you resemble them both."
"Thank you" I said blushing as she walked out the room.
I walked out behind her and closed the door behind me. I stared out the window at them as Jamarion and Ebony walked beside me, rubbing the sleep from their eyes. We all looked terrible, still in the clothes from yesterday and with traces of blood on our outfits, except for Ebony.
"Any change?" Jamarion asked.
"No I don't think so" I said as Jamarion sighed, "what's going to happen..."
"Jayse we can't think about all of that right now" Jamarion said upset looking at me.
"But we should" I said staring back at Jamarion as he bit his lip, "I heard mom and the doctors talking last night."
"When? What did they say?" Jamarion asked looking at me.
"I didn't hear much. They were out in the hall and I heard them" I said as Ebony rubbed Jamarion's back.
"What did they say?" Jamarion asked again.
"They said the usual" I said walking away to a nearby bench, "dad lost too much blood and the gunshot was too severe. They don't think he's going to make it."
"But I thought he got shot in the back?" Ebony asked.
"Yea but his bullet was closer to his heart versus Q's" Jamarion stated as he walked away.
"Baby are you ok?" Ebony asked consoling Jamarion. Out of all of my brothers, Jamarion was the only one who showed less emotion. If he was worried or showing signs of fear then I know that it's not good.
"I can't lose my dad" Jamarion said as Ebony hugged him.
I tried fighting back the tears because I knew Jamarion was doing the same thing. If he started to let it go and I did too, then who was going to be there for the other?
I got up, folded my arms and tried comforting myself as I walked down the hall.
"Jayse where are you going?" Jamarion asked as his voice broke.
"I gotta walk around for a minute" I said as my voice broke too.
"We have to stay here for mom" Jamarion said sniffing.
"I am here for mom!" I screamed as nurses and doctors looked at us arguing.
"Not if you keep running away all the time!" Jamarion yelled back.
"Guys relax please ok! Baby let Jayse walk it off if he needs to" Ebony said.
"He needs to stay here" Jamarion said as I turned my back and walked away, "Jayse, Jayse, Jayse! Come back here!"
I walked past the doctors and nurses in the hall and bumped into Mr. Mitchell, who was walking with two young girls.
"You're crying? I thought you would have been happy given the good news" Mr. Mitchell said.
"What are you talking about?" I asked him wiping my eyes.
"C'mon girls let's go check on your brother" Mr. Mitchell said ignoring me and walking down the hall.
I looked at them confused as I tried understanding what he was talking about. I knew he wasn't talking about my dad, because things weren't looking good for him.
I turned around and went back towards my dad's room to find Justus, Jamie and Giannis standing there talking to Jamarion and Ebony.
"Jayse" Jamie said running over to give me a hug.
"Are you ok?" Jamie asked letting me go as Giannis gave me a hug after.
"I'm fine" I said looking over at Justus.
"I'm sorry for everything Jayse" Giannis said.
"Thanks" I said looking up at Giannis, "Hi Justus."
"Hey Jayse" Justus said.
"That's all you can say?" I asked staring at him.
"Jayse" Justus started saying, "I don't really know what to say to you right now."
"What do you mean?" I asked confused.
"Guys not now!" Jamarion said frustrated.
"I told you Brandon was wrong for you" Justus said ignoring Jamarion.
"Wait a minute are you blaming Brandon for all of this?" I asked upset.
"Yea because it's his fault" Justus said.
"No it is not" I said offended, "it's all Q's fault as a matter of fact I know who shot dad?"
"Who?" everyone asked.
"It was Brandon's cousin, Dantae" I stated.
"Really?" Jamarion asked.
"This just keeps getting better and better" Justus said.
"Shut up Justus" Jamie said walking over to me, "Jayse think hard and tell us everything."
"I saw the gun in Dantae's coat pocket, it could have been him or Krush that shot dad but one of them did it." I said panicking.
"We have to go to the police" Giannis said whispering.
"Yea I agree we do" Jamie said whispering as well.
"Guys I don't want to die" I said scared.
"Jayse nothing is going to happen to you" Jamie said.
"Look what happened to dad" I said.
"Dad was trying to protect Q, nothing is going to happen to you Jayse, I promise" Jamarion said calming me down.
"Brandon is nothing but a troublemaker, trouble follows this guy everywhere he goes" Justus said as I rolled my eyes and shook my head.
"Will you please just shut up!" Jamie said upset.
"Justus this is not Brandon's fault!" Jamarion said angrily, "Brandon hates Dantae and vice versa."
"Jayse if it wasn't for Q you would be worse off than you are now" Justus said walking past me, "you should be grateful that the guy cared enough to protect you."
"I can't believe you" I said angry.
"Guys we can't do this here" Jamie said.
"Yea let's go in the waiting room and out of the hallway" Giannis said as we all walked towards the room.
"Forget arguing" Jamarion said staying back, "dad is dying and you guys want to walk in the room and yell all day."
"A lot needs to be discussed Jamarion" Jamie said standing in the doorway of the room as I walked into the far side of the room.
"Look I'm not in the mood for arguing" Jamarion said as Ebony consoled him.
"We're not going to do none of that but we need to talk about some things" Jamie said looking at Jamarion as he stared into dad's room. He and mom were still asleep. They must have been up all night.
"Please Jamarion" Jamie begged.
"These stupid family meetings don't solve anything" Jamarion said to himself, walking over upset.
As Jamarion and Ebony walked into the waiting room Jamie closed the door behind them.
"Now everyone talk normally, no shouting or yelling" Jamie stated.
"Whatever, I give it 5 minutes, we'll all be at each other's throats in a minute" Jamarion said sitting down in the middle of the room. As Giannis walked towards the window and Justus and I stood facing each other on the far sides of the room.
"Jayse a drug dealer?" Justus stated as I rolled my eyes, "of all the guys that wanted to talk to you. Please explain why you feel that a drug dealer is what's best for you?"
"Because I understand him the most" I said with my arms folded as Justus shook his head disappointed.
"What's there to understand? The guy is making a living off of killing people" Justus said.
"Don't talk like you understand him" I yelled.
"Jayse lower your tone" Jamie said.
"Told you! Less than 5 minutes" Jamarion said laying back in his chair shaking his head.
"Why is it that everyone in this room feels the need to pick who I talk to?" I asked looking around.
"Jayse we're your family, we just don't want you hurt again" Jamie said walking over to me.
"But I can take care of myself" I said as Justus shook his head, "I appreciate the love but I'm grown."
"Jayse please!" Justus yelled, "No one in their right mind would date a drug dealer."
"Justus lower your voice" Jamie said angry.
"For your information he only started selling drugs to take care of his family" I said.
"That's what they all say" Justus said pacing on his side of the room.
"I don't feel like hearing no more of this" I said about to walk away.
"Jayse no" Jamie said holding my hand and stopping me, "we are going to deal with this like family."
"What we need to deal with is the possibility of dad dying not this silly argument" Jamarion said.
"Thank you!" I said agreeing.
"So you're with Jayse?" Justus asked looking at Jamarion.
"What?" Jamarion asked, turning around to face Justus, "I'm not picking any sides."
"Dad just got shot!" Justus screamed.
"Justus come one man, calm down" Giannis said.
"Justus will you please stop yelling" Jamie begged.
"I know that dad just got shot but Brandon is not the reason" Jamarion said as Justus looked at him angrily, "dad was protecting Q."
"Q wouldn't need protecting if Jayse would have left Brandon alone" Justus said.
"What?" I asked confused.
"Justus you weren't here, you don't even know half the shit that has been going on" Jamarion stated.
"Thank you" I said agreeing.
"I knew everything that was going on, the entire time" Justus stated.
"How?" Jamarion and I said together.
"From dad" Justus said as we all gave him a look, "dad asked me a while back what was going on and when I told him that I didn't know he wanted to find out for himself."
"Find out what?" I asked.
"Why you've been acting out so much lately" Justus said looking at me, "or why you just suddenly became a father" Justus said looking at Jamarion.
I looked over at Ebony as she looked at the floor embarrassed.
"Just what did dad do" Jamarion said trying to take the heat off of him and Ebony.
"He asked me about hiring a private investigator or just someone to keep an eye on you guys at all times" Justus stated.
"You're lying" Jamarion said turning his back to Justus and sitting back down in his seat.
"Why would I make this all up?" Justus said staring at the back of Jamarion's head.
"Dad really hired a private investigator?" I asked shocked.
"Couldn't be, I would have known" Jamie stated.
"How could you, when you were the one being tagged too" Justus stated looking at Jamie as he looked surprised.
"I heard enough of this shit" Jamarion said getting up and walking towards the door as Justus ran to stop him.
"No you sit down and listen to what I have to say" Justus screamed into Jamarion's face.
"I'm not going to listen to you making up lies about dad!" Jamarion screamed back as the two of them lock eyes on each other and made facial expressions like they wanted to fight.
"Guys please just calm down" Giannis said getting in the middle of them, "Jamarion please have a seat."
"Giannis I don't want to hear all of this" Jamarion said softly.
"I know man, ok, I know, but let's just hear what he has to say, please" Giannis said still standing in front of Justus.
Jamarion still locked eyes with Justus as he backed up slowly and turned around to walk over to his seat.
"Justus man, are you telling the truth about all of this, because right now, you're looking like public enemy number 1 with your brothers" Giannis said turning around to face Justus.
"I have no reason to lie Giannis" Justus said staring back at him and walking back over to his side of the room, "dad thought he was losing the family, everyone in here has let him down, including me!"
"Then why didn't he hire someone to watch over you too" Jamie said looking at Justus upset.
"I didn't say that he didn't!" Justus said looking over at Jamie, "I just said that he hired someone to watch these guys and you too. I'm pretty sure he had someone watching me to, remember I'm the one that wanted to drop out of school."
"He got scared" I said softly as everyone looked at me, "he thought he was losing his family and he got scared."
We all sat and thought about it for a second, mulling over how much we went against what dad had envisioned us to be. Suddenly the tone in the room changed. Everyone wasn't so rowdy anymore. It got silent as we heard the air conditioning vent over us.
"We all messed up Jayse" Justus said solemnly, "every one of us in some way let dad down in this perfect vision he had for us."
"If I knew that he would have approved of me dating someone older than me" Jamie said teary eyed, "I would have told him about me getting married."
I watched as Giannis walked over and hugged Jamie as I missed the feeling of being held.
"If I knew that he would understand that Ebony and I messed up" Jamarion said as his voice broke, "I mean I love Adia with all my heart but I'm scared! I'm not ready to be a dad, now who's going to teach me. If I could just tell him that I'm sorry for letting him down..."
I bit my bottom lip as I saw the tears flow from Jamarion's eyes. This was my first time seeing him cry in a long time.
"If..." Both Justus and I said at the same time.
"I'm sorry go ahead" I said to Justus.
"No go ahead Jayse" Justus said throwing his hands up and letting me have the floor.
"If dad would only see how much Brandon and I get along" I said as Justus stared at me, "forget about his past, forget what's he's done, he had a hard life. If dad could see how safe I feel talking and even being with Brandon then he would understand why even though my feelings have been on a rollercoaster for him, I honestly love him with all my heart!"
I started crying as Jamie walked over and hugged me. There was no going back from this. I have to stand firm no matter what on my decision to be with Brandon. He is my world and he is the one that I want to be with.
"If dad could have understood that I want to be just like him" Justus said as his voice broke, "I mean I always looked up to him and admired him for how successful he is. I know that it wasn't easy raising all of us and I'm real temper mental but I may be confused about what occupation I want to have and I know dad put a lot of pressure on me more than you guys but I know what title I want to have and that's being a dad. I can't wait to start my own family...problem is dad won't be here to see it."
I walked over to hug Justus as we cried into each other's shoulders. I never knew that death could be so hard and it hurts when it's a family member.
Just then someone knocked on the door and it was the doctor.
"Good news doc?" Jamarion asked getting up as the doctor looked down at his chart.
"I'm afraid not guys, I thought your mother was in here talking to you all, which is why I didn't come in earlier" the doctor said hitting his pen on the chart. We could all see it on his face that it wasn't good.
"Doc no, please!" Jamarion begged as his eyes got full.
"You mean..." Jamie asked as Giannis rubbed his back.
"I'm so sorry" the doctor said as I fainted into Justus' arms and Jamie cried on Giannis' shoulder. Jamarion sat back in his seat, with his head down crying as Ebony consoled him.
My heart ached! I felt numb and lost. We were in the middle of arguing when my dad died. We started reminiscing but we were arguing before. I never got a chance to say goodbye. I never told him that I was sorry for this stupid argument we had before he died. I never got to tell him that I loved him.
We cried and cried. The room was filled with screams and tears as we all let out the pain of losing our dad. A nurse came in, followed by another one, pretty soon doctors that knew my dad came in too as they all tried comforting us one by one. None of us spoke. We just cried from one shoulder to the next.
A doctor tried looking for my mom and even asked the nurses to page her. They literally shut the hospital down searching for my mom in every part of the hospital.
"Where did she go?" one nurse asked.
"She was in the room, when he went into cardiac arrest..." another nurse said as Jamie and I screamed out.
"It's ok sweetie" a nurse said trying to console me.
"My daddy is gone!" I screamed, "my daddy is gone, what am I going to do?"
"It's ok son" a doctor said rubbing my back, "just let it all out!"
"I can't stay in here" Jamarion said getting up.
"It's ok, it's going to be all right" doctors and nurses said trying to calm him down.
"I have to see him" Jamarion said trying to walk out the room, "I want to see my dad!"
"Jamarion you can't" Ebony said through tears.
"I wanna...see...my dad!" Jamarion said as he held onto the doorknob and cried. I watched as he fell down slowly to the ground in the fetal position as the doctors and nurses brought him back to his seat.
"I just want to see my dad!" Jamarion said crying, "that's all I want!"
"I know son but they're taking him down to the morgue right now" a doctor said as I cried.
"Have you guys found my mom yet?" Justus asked being consoled by a nurse.
"No they haven't not yet" another nurse responded.
"Then where could she be?" Jamarion asked.
"We're going to find her" a doctor said.
"This big hospital and no one can find her" Justus said upset.
"Justus please!" Jamie screamed through tears.
"I, I'm sorry" Justus said crying.
"It's all right, we're going to find her" a doctor said, "She's still here."
"Nurse can you bring in some water please" a doctor said as I wiped my eyes on the tissue I had. They had boxes for each of us but honestly after minutes of crying I don't know how much we went through.
"Doctor we found Ms. Grier" a nurse said escorting my mom in the room on a wheelchair.
"Where was she?" one of the doctors asked.
"She was in an empty room in one of the closets" a nurse said as they canceled the lockdown over the PA system.
"Mom where did you go?" Jamie asked getting up to walk over to her as we all got and walked towards her.
"Jazmine are you ok" one of the doctors asked as my mom nodded her head yes. She looked so weak and heartbroken. This was a complete 360 from the classy woman that I knew. She looked like her whole life was taking away from her.
"I couldn't...I just couldn't come and tell you kids" my mom said as her voice broke.
"Ma it's ok" Justus said kissing her forehead.
"I walked past this room and saw you kids in here through the door window but I couldn't bare telling you" my mom said shaking her head, "I can't believe it myself. I was right there when he..."
She started crying as we all huddled around her and the doctors and nurses slowly walked out of the room to give us privacy.
As Ebony and Giannis began to creep out my mom stopped them.
"No, you two are family" my mom said sniffing her nose, "Stay please. I can't bare losing any more people today."
"Of course Mama Jazmine" Giannis said closing the door.
"You kids mean the world to me" my mom said as she started crying again, "you're father loved you all! No matter how things were up until he died, everything he did, he did out of LOVE! Don't ever forget that! EVER!"
"Yes ma'am" we all said together.
After a couple of minutes filled with more crying and talking, one of the doctors came in and told my mom where my dad was in the morgue.
"Did any of you guys want to see him?" the doctor asked as everyone looked at each other.
"I don't think so doc" Justus said as he left.
"I need to get out of this wheelchair" my mom said.
"Mom no! You can't walk right now, besides let's go home anyway" Jamie said.
"I can walk Jamison, I'm not deformed" my mom said.
"Ma come on please let's just take you home like this right now" Jamarion said.
"Let me go and see what all is left to do before we go" Jamie said about to walk out the door.
"Hold on" Justus said walking behind Jamie, "I'm coming with you.
"I can't believe I'm a widow" my mom said shaking her head as I hugged her.
"Lord help me!" my mom said looking up to the ceiling.
"You got us ma, we're not going anywhere" Jamarion said as I by shaking my head.
"That's right you got us" I said as my mom grabbed our hands.
"I'm so sorry kids, I should have woken you up last night so that you could sit with your dad before he..." my mom said as her voice broke.
"It's all right ma, don't beat yourself up over this" I said.
"Did he open his eyes last night?" Jamarion asked.
"No" my mom said shaking her head as she cried, "but I just talked to him, all night long, as if he did."
"No wonder you were sleeping in his bed this morning" I said as my mom nodded her head and Ebony passed her a tissue.
"Thank you Ebony" my mom said as Jamie and Justus came walking back in the room, "he grabbed my hand though."
"Really?" Jamarion asked excited.
"Yep" My mom said smiling.
"What are you guys talking about?" Justus asked with his hands resting on the handlebars of the wheelchair.
"Your dad, he grabbed my hand last night" my mom said.
"Really?" Jamie asked excited as well grabbing a seat to sit down beside Ebony who sat next to Jamarion. Jamarion was sitting in front of my mom as I stood up next to her.
"Yes" my mom said grinning, "I was talking about some of the things we planned to do together right after Jerry graduated, like retiring and traveling around the world."
"And um" my mom said looking up at the ceiling, trying to stop from crying, "and I told him, I told him I said you better fight because I am not going to travel alone."
"Out of nowhere" my mom said looking down, playing with her used tissue paper, "he grabbed my hand tight. We held hands all night long just like the night we met. He still didn't open his eyes. He didn't even make a sound, just being his same stubborn little self."
As she laughed at that part so did we all. It felt good to laugh again. The two of them were known for being affectionate and stubborn towards each other playfully around the house.
"That's when I knew" my mom said crying, "I knew that in his own way, he was letting me know that he had to go."
We all stood there with tears in our eyes as well thinking about dad and some of the playful times we had with him. He definitely was going to be missed.
"What did the doctors say?" my mom asked wiping her eyes after our moment of crying.
"He um" Jamie said sniffing, "he said that uh..."
"Jamie it's ok" I said seeing how difficult it was for Jamie to talk.
"It's all right Jamie" Jamarion said looking back at Jamie and reaching over Ebony to pat him on his knee. Pretty soon Jamie started up again crying as Giannis hugged him and comforted him.
We all waited as I looked over and saw Jamarion about to cry all over again too. I turned my back towards them and looked off in a corner as Justus rubbed my back.
"It's all right Jayse" Justus said as I nodded my head.
"Come here baby" my mom said grabbing my shirt tail and spinning me around as I hugged her. I started crying on her shoulder as I thought about some of the good times I'm going to miss with my dad: his advice, his smile, his strength, his courage, his sense of style. No one could light a candle next to my dad, he pretty much was one of a kind.
"Dad is really going to be missed" Justus said wiping his eyes.
"Yea" Jamarion said sighing heavily, "there's no one like him."
"I know it's hard baby, you let it out" my mom said as I continued to cry on her shoulder.
"It's all my fault" I screamed on her neck.
"Jayse come on" Justus said.
"Jayse stop it" Jamarion said.
"Come on baby don't say that" My mom said patting my back.
"Be strong Jayse" I heard Giannis say from afar.
"It hurts so much ma" I said still crying.
"I know baby, it's not supposed to be easy, but you have the support and love from everyone in this room" my mom said.
"That's right Jayse" Jamie said from afar wiping his tears and sniffing his nose.
"No doubt about it" Justus said agreeing.
"Come here" Jamarion said picking me up from hugging mom and hugging me himself. It felt so good to be held by him again. I missed the old days with Jamarion so much. He was my rock and I normally went to him before Jamie and Justus.
I started crying more on his shoulder as his shoulder as he patted my back and consoled me. I started letting go as Jamarion hugged me tighter.
"Unh uh hug me tighter than that" Jamarion said as I squeezed him, "I'm here for you bro, if you need me, you know I'm here."
"I know" I said sniffing my nose.
"I mean it, come to me, just like you always have" Jamarion said in my ear.
"I know" I said sniffing my nose, "I hear you."
"I've never cried so much in my life" Justus said wiping his eyes.
"It's only the beginning" Jamie stated as my mom agreed and Jamarion and I broke our hug.
"We have to continue to be there for each other, just like we always have no matter what" my mom said as we nodded our heads in agreement.
"Call each other, text, email, visit, don't stop all of that, because now we are going to need each other more than ever" my mom said.
"OK" we all said.
"Oh my Lord, especially for my baby" my mom said referring to Jerry, "Oh goodness I can only imagine how he's going to take it. Jerry was closer to your father than all of you combined."
I thought about all the things Jerry and dad would do together: play in the swimming pool, play basketball, football, wash the car, cut the lawn, and watch TV together. Those two were inseparable sometimes.
"I need you all to help me be there for Jerry" my mom said looking at each of us, "he's sensitive and he's the baby. I'm begging you boys to help me. I can't do this alone, especially when I have all of you."
"You don't have to worry about nothing mom" Justus said rubbing her shoulders.
"I agree Jerry is in good hands" Jamie said.
"Yea ma we'll be here" Jamarion said.
"100%" I said.
"That's what I needed to hear" my mom said, "well come on let's get out of here."
"Oh mom" Jamie said getting up, "the doctors said that you can take care of all the necessary paperwork tomorrow sometime."
"Good, because it may be awhile before I step foot in this place again" my mom said as Justus backed up and wheeled her out of the room.
"Wait a minute let's pray before we leave here" Jamie said as Justus brought my mom back in.
"You're right" my mom said sighing heavily, "we're going to need it more than anything."
After the prayer and a few more tears we left the waiting room to find everyone on the floor standing and staring at us.
"I think I speak on behalf of everyone at this hospital when I say that your husband was an amazing man and even though he wasn't with us long, he left a lasting influence on us" a doctor said hugging my mom as she got teary eyed.
As we walked down the hall we stopped in front of his room as the ladies from housekeeping stopped and stared at us. My mom smiled and they looked at us with full eyes feeling sorry for us.
"I can't believe it" Jamarion said.
"Be strong guys, we can do this" Justus said.
"This is where he was at just a couple of hours ago...alive!" Jamie said as his voice broke.
"It doesn't feel real" I said shaking my head and fighting back the tears, "and it's not right!"
"Let's go boys" my mom said sighing heavily as we slowly walked away from the room. Everyone we passed by: doctor, nurse, physical therapist, security guard, you name it, they all said they were sorry and hugged us or our mom as we passed them.
"This is going to be harder than I thought" Jamie said as we all agreed.
"Ms. Grier, we arranged for someone to take you all home, it's the least we could do a doctor said as we walked to the main entrance.
"Thank you Timmy" my mom said as we looked outside and saw a limo arrive to take us home.
We all got in and rode the whole way in silence. No one felt like speaking or even crying anymore. The security guards at the gate actually took their hats off at us as we drove by.
"Oh my goodness, Lord give me strength" my mom said shaking her head.
"It's ok ma" Justus said.
"I called aunt Terri and uncle Roger are already at the house with Jerry" Jamie said.
"Did they tell him anything?" my mom asked.
"No they said that they thought we should be the ones to tell him" Jamie said.
"Good" Justus said.
"I hope my baby can take it" my mom said.
"Who's car is that in front of the house?" my mom asked, "that can't be..."
"Brandon?" I asked surprised, "but I thought..."
As the driver parked the car and walked over to let us out, I walked towards Brandon's car to find out that sure enough it was him.
I didn't even give him a chance to get out the car fully before I tackled him with a bear hug and smothered him with kisses.
"What are you doing here? How did you get out? What happened with the trial? Are you ok?" I asked not giving him a chance to answer.
"Baby, baby" Brandon said laughing, "let me answer one question at a time."
"I'm sorry" I said smiling as he lifted my chin and stared into my eyes smiling.
I looked over as the rest of my family got out and looked over at Brandon.
"Ms. Grier" Brandon said looking over at my mom, "I'm so sorry."
"Thank you Brandon" my mom said as Brandon grabbed my hand and walked over.
"Can I give you a hug?" Brandon asked.
"Yes you may" my mom said as they hugged. I looked at the excited as Jamie smiled too. Jamarion was smiling as well which surprised me while Justus wasn't. I caught eye contact with him and gave him a look as he sighed and smiled too. I looked at my mom as her eyes got full again.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you cry" Brandon said after they were done hugging.
"Oh no Brandon it's not you, I just wish my husband could have seen how beautiful your heart is" my mom said as I blushed, "as well as the rest of my family."
"It's ok, I really don't live a perfect life Ms. Grier" Brandon said.
"No you do baby, you just made some wrong turns" my mom said.
"My mom is in there already, I hope that's ok" Brandon said.
"That's fine Brandon" my mom said, "I'm glad that Lisa is here."
"Hi Brandon" Jamie said walking over to Brandon as my mom walked away with Justus.
"Hi Jamie, I'm sorry about your dad" Brandon said as Jamie hugged Brandon.
"Thank you" Jamie said, "take care of my brother please."
"I will, I promise" Brandon said shaking Giannis' hand.
"I'm so sorry man" Brandon said to Jamarion as they shook hands and Giannis and Jamie walked inside.
"Thanks, so what happened with your trial man?" Jamarion asked as I looked at Brandon too, "I mean if you don't mind me asking?"
"No man not at all," Brandon said as we moved out the driver's way, who was getting ready to leave, "he threw the case out because there wasn't enough evidence, but I'm still being questioned for your dad's murder."
"Well we are going to get to the bottom of this!" Jamarion said as Ebony and I both nodded our heads in agreement.
"We will man I can promise you that!" Brandon said assuring Jamarion. It felt good to see them say more than two words to each other.
"Well let me go inside" Jamarion said about to walk away.
"Yea no problem" Brandon said as Jamarion and Ebony walked away.
"What you over there doing being so quiet?" Brandon asked smiling facing me.
"I'm not quiet" I said as Brandon wrapped his arms around me.
"Yes you are, you didn't even say much just now" Brandon said hugging me tight, "what's up?"
"Nothing" I said sadly staring down at Brandon's chest, trying to avoid eye contact.
"You sure?" Brandon asked lifting up my chin and looking in my eyes, "talk to me babe."
"I just don't want to hurt you" I stated.
"How can you hurt me?" Brandon asked smiling, "what happened? Is it Q?"
"No...well yes" I said as I saw Brandon's smile slowly fade away, "I mean I don't have feelings for him at all but I hate that in the midst of everything yesterday I was concerned about him."
"Were you more concerned about him than me?" Brandon asked staring into my eyes. My heart started racing as I stared into his eyes, "answer me Jayse?"
"Kind of" I said feeling guilty as Brandon looked away hurt, "but I love you."
"No you don't" Brandon said unwrapping his hands from my waist.
"Yes I do, Brandon" I whined as he turned his back on me and started to walk away.
"Jayse I thought you loved me man" Brandon said hurt, "and I knew it! I knew it yesterday when you ran over to him. Why can't you care for me like that?"
"But I do care for you" I said as tears flowed from eyes.
"You have a pretty messed up way of proving it" Brandon said about to walk away from me again.
"Brandon stop please" I said as he stopped moving, "please turn around and look at me! Something in me wanted to make sure he was ok, not that I cared for him at all but I felt bad for him. I have a gentle heart and I hate that at times because I don't know how to shake off something that is bad for me. I love you Brandon! I know my feelings are messed up at times but I love you. Please! Please give me another chance! All I think about is you."
"Only when you feel lonely" Brandon said facing me.
"That's not true" I said shaking.
"Admit it Jayse!" Brandon screamed as I cried, "admit that I only come in your head when you feel lonely and afraid. I never come up when something reminds you of love or happiness and shit."
I cried into my hands as I thought about what he was saying. It was pretty messed up but that was the way he always popped into my head: only when I was lonely. I stood there crying more as I felt hands wrap around me. I looked up and saw Brandon holding me. I felt so safe and loved. I could feel the protection and love from him as he held me.
"Are you thinking about me now?" Brandon asked as his voice broke.
"Yes" I said crying, "only you!"
"I can't let you go babe" Brandon said squeezing me as I placed my head on his chest, "I just wish I mattered to you the same way you mean to me."
"But you do Brandon" I said looking up into his face, "you do more than anything in the world."
"Starting here babe" Brandon said, "you have to let your past feelings go. I should be everything you need at all times, that's what I'm here for."
"You're right" I said kissing him softly on the lips, "new beginnings!"
Just then someone came by in a limo and tooted their horn at us. The driver stopped in front of us and the passenger in the back seat pulled down his window. My heart froze and I jumped back as I saw who it was.
"Brandon you're home...hello Jayse" Krush said smiling.
Please feel free to email comments and suggestions at jaypoet929@yahoo.com. Special thanks to all the fans so far. Thank You for reading my story. Peace and Love