Here's to Eternity

Here's to Eternity

This is just a little piece of Flash Fiction I thought I would post. There is no sex, and all in all it's basically a PG13 story.

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I could see the blaze of fury in his eyes as he entered the coffee shop where I worked. I have been expecting it. I should have gone home last night, but the horrific discovery I made was so foul, so upsetting, that I just couldn't face him. Seattle Coffee was where I spent the night. This morning I just quickly grabbed a shower in the back room and moved from my earlier position by the window to the place where I belong: behind the counter.

I forced myself to look up at him. I could see the very reason I didn't go home the night before in every one of his features. God. I could see it in his long, black curls, his usually blue eyes, now gray with anger, his full lips pressed together painfully thin. Please let this go smoothly. He opened his mouth to say something, but before he could make a sound, I cut him short.

`I'm moving out. We can't be roommates any more.' I was surprised that my voice didn't waver as the words tumbled from my lips. His expression changed completely. He didn't look angry anymore, but shocked, flabbergasted.

`W-what?'

`You heard me. I'll come around to get my stuff tonight.' This was necessary. God it was necessary. Who knows what could happen if I don't do this?

`B-but Shaun, wha-', he started to protest, but I cut him short again.

`I don't want to talk about this now. We'll talk when I come to fetch my stuff.'

With that I turned around and went to the employee restroom in the back. I couldn't hold it any longer. Tears swiftly found their way to my chin in perfectly straight lines from my eyes. Before long I was bawling like a baby. What did I do? I need him, fuck! The ONE time that things are going right in my life, I go and fuck it all up.

But what was said was said. I can't take it back now. I quickly dried my tears and washed my face. Luckily I returned before Peter, my boss, found out that I was gone. The rest of my day was spent working in near silence, the only words coming out of my mouth being the usual `Need a refill?'

After work I walked to my car, an old Nissan. I quietly got in behind the steering wheel. The trip home was conducted in silence as well. Not that I could really call it home anymore. I made it quite clear to Ethan that I didn't plan to stay there any longer.

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up as I pulled into the driveway of the luxurious house. I know what you're thinking. `How can a Seattle Coffee employee afford anything more than a meager flat?' The answer is that I can't. Ethan pays for the house. I basically have a free ride with him. I've never quite figured out why he let me stay there for next to nothing. I do make sure that dinner's on the table every night and that the house is cleaned regularly, but that can hardly be considered payment.

I unlock the front door and walked into the house. I took the key off the chain and put it on the flower table in the foyer. I won't need that anymore. I closed my eyes and prayed to some unknown entity for strength for this night. I found Ethan in the living room. He looked up just as I entered.

`I know why you want to move out.' He said it in such a broken and forlorn voice that I couldn't help feeling sorry for him. But what does he think the reason for my decision is? Could he know? Cold fear crept up my spine, but I willed myself to calm down.

In a small voice I asked, `Why?'

`Because you found out about me.' What? Now I'm totally confused. But before I could reply he spoke again.

`I'm really sorry Shaun. I should have told you a long time ago. The only thing that kept me from saying it was that I was afraid that exactly this would happen.'

`Eth-' That's about how far I got before he interrupted me.

`I can't help it, you know! I can't help that I am in love with you!'

`B-b-b-but...' I tried. My voice was weak. I closed my eyes. What the hell! I wanted to move out because I discover that I'm in love with my best friend of eight years and my roommate of two, and now he told me he's in love with me too? This shit only happens in books or movies. There is no way this could be true.

When I opened my eyes again, Ethan was sitting on the plush orange couch that I insisted on buying. Ethan hated it, but it didn't stop him from buying it for me. He was crying silently. Tears found their way to the corners of his beautiful red lips before running down his strong chin, getting lost in his sexy black stubble.

`Ethan...' I tried. No response. `Ethan baby, please look at me.' His head jerked up and his blue eyes bore into mine. I could see they wary hope in them. The unspoken question that emanated from those gorgeous blue orbs was painfully obvious.

`W-what did you call me?' he asked. I could hear the hope in his voice. I could also, however, hear caution. `P-please... Y-you better not be fucking with me Shaun.' He said through his tears.

`I'm not, Eth. I promise you. I... I wanted to move out because I'm in love with you. I didn't want you to think of me as a... as a fag, a queer, a motherfucking pedo. Most people immediately assume that gays are pedophiles. I just didn't want to take the risk of becoming less than shit in your eyes...

`I love you Ethan. I love every single inch of you. I've loved you since we were in school, and I don't see that changing soon. I... I never thought you might be feeling the same, otherwise I would have said something. I've wanted to tell you for so long... So fucking long.' Phew! And I'm usually a man of few words! Apparently Ethan was thinking the same thing as me, because his mouth hung open after I finished.

`You know that's probably the most I've ever heard you say at once, right? And I've known you for what, eight years now?'

I just smiled and said, `We all go a little weird when we're in love...' That got his attention once again.

`Do you mean it Shaun?' he asked. `Do you really love me?'

`Yeah babe, I really do. And I can't guarantee that everything will work out perfectly or that we'll always be together, but we have to try to make it work. Love alone isn't enough. Love may make the world go `round, but communication is the axis on which it spins.'

`Your metaphors suck, you know?' Ethan said, a broad smile plastered on his face. His crying stopped a while back, and he was only giving the occasional sniff by now.

`That may be, but at least they get my point across. Now come here you.' I crossed over to the couch and gave him the gentlest and most loving hug I could.

Love. Each of us need it and, with a bit of luck, both of us will receive it for the rest of our lives -- from each other. But I didn't want to think about the future. All I wanted was to hold him in my arms for the rest of the night, for the rest of eternity, if I could.