DISCLAIMER: If you are under 18 (or 21 depending on local laws) please discontinue to read. If you are offended by male/male concepts that are not always Disney Channel rated, pleaase refrain from continuing to read this. I am of no knowledge as to Nsync's true sexuality or am in any way affiliated with JIVE/ZOMBA records.
AUTHOR's WORDS: After a great many months in hibernation I've returned to start writing once more for you all. I am very sorry that it's taken so long. I have missed the writing but needed to sort my head out again and hopefully now they will be more frequently updated for your enjoyment. Next thought, for those who read JC Dreams, I have compiled all the chapters into one file (both Microsoft Word and .txt formatt) which I can email to you on request. I also will say here that I am very thankful to all those who nominated and voted for me with JC Dreams. Saddest Story Ending is not something I was expecting to take, I wasn't even expecting a nomination. Still I am greatful and feel extremely privelleged to have won this award... Thank you all.
FEEDBACK: jellybeanking@hotmail.com
AUTHOR THANKS: Nifty... all I can thank at the moment - no one else has written in on this one... though I should thank the readers who have followed me across. Of course, I can't go without thanking my twin for all his help, love and companionship over the voyage of the net. Evan, I don't know what to say, a friend until the last. Also thanks to Mark, who makes life bareable at times... if I didn't have someone to come home and have coffee with I'd go mad... you're the best flatmate ever Mark!!!!
DEDICATION: This series is dedicated to Brendon Alexander James. 10 - January 1980 to 20 - August - 2000. Eternal rest grant unto him Lord and may perpetual light shine upon him, may he rest in peace. Amen.
Hearts of Ash 05
by
Sun Child
JC and Asher sat there on the couch talking quietly when Justin walked into the room.
"Aaw, if it ain't a couple o' love birds sitting on my couch." Asher looked up at Justin and gave him the finger.
"Careful Ash, you may break my heart." Teased Justin. Shaking his head JC looked at Justin.
"Yes is there something that I can help you with Justin?"
"Not really, it was a fly by check in on you guys." Asher half smiled at Justin.
"If it's only a fly by, why am I not attacking you with bug spray?"
"Because this bug is a friendly one."
"So is my boot, but if you don't stop with the cupid thing, it's gonna be planted up your ass." Asher told Justin. Justin laughed lightly, not sure if Asher was kidding or not. JC decided it a wise time to change the topic.
"What time are the other three appearing?" He asked. As if in answer the doorbell sounded and JC looked at Justin.
"Question retracted. Well, if Joey is here, then I would be guessing food is almost ready as well." Justin laughed and nodded.
"Without fail." He grinned and walked out of the room. Asher slid away from JC a bit on the couch. JC looked at Asher in surprise and a tinge of hurt.
"Did I do something wrong?" He asked.
"No, but the guys don't know about you, and I don't want to give them ideas until they are ready to know and you are ready to tell them." Asher told him. JC put his hand on Asher's leg.
"Thank you."
"It's fine, I understand more than you think I would." JC smiled and Asher smiled back. They heard Justin opening the door and several voices float on down the hallway. Asher looked over at JC and raised half an eyebrow.
"The rabble has arrived." JC just laughed quietly.
Lance, Chris and Joey all filtered into the room where JC and Asher were sitting.
"Hey guys." JC said to them. The other three just waved their greetings to the pair. Justin walked in a few minutes later.
"Why are we in here? Joey's here, that means it's time to eat doesn't it?" He grinned at the group. Joey glared at Justin.
"I don't always show up when food is ready." He said defensively.
"No, sometimes you show up while it's still being cooked." Justin threw back. Asher shook his head and looked at JC.
"Are they always like this?"
"No, sometimes they don't like each other." Lance and Chris giggled while Justin and Joey both reached for something to throw at JC.
The meal went off without a hitch. There was a rowdy conversation amongst the gathered group, the odd sarcastic comment usually accompanied by a "pass the salt". Once the meal was over, the group gathered in the den once more. The conversation turned to the album, single and upcoming tour. At mention of the tour, Asher and JC both looked at each other in half despair, realizing that it would be a large time apart from them. Justin caught the exchange between the pair.
"By the way guys, I meant to tell you, we need a new PA, Mel's had to resign because she's pregnant... again." The other three all groaned at the thought of who management would hire this time around. Justin watched JC carefully and saw the gears grinding behind his eyes.
"Well, what if we ask if we can choose a PA ourselves?" Asked JC slowly. Lance looked over at JC.
"Who did you have in mind as if I didn't already know." Asher looked at JC, curious to see where this was leading.
"Well, I was thinking, what about Ash... I mean if you want to." He said looking at Asher.
"I guess I could use a break from this town." He admitted. Chris brought his hands up.
"Woah! Asher, nothing personal, but we don't even know you, apart from the fact you are a 'friend' of JC's."
"Well, at least we know a little bit about him. That's more than is likely to happen if management chooses the new PA." Justin threw in, cupid was still tap dancing along his thought processes. The group began to third degree Asher, who soon had close to no secrets left from them all. Chris, who had been doing most of the interrogation, sat back looking satisfied.
"Ok, well it's fine by me now."
"Chris, you've given me the okay now, do I get a mickey mouse badge as well now." Asher threw in dryly only to be pelted by pillows from JC and Justin.
"Leave the Mouse alone." Said Justin in mock anger, grinning the entire time. Shaking his head he looked upwards
"Why me?"
"Why not?" Asked Joey grinning.
A week later, the weather had shifted and there was thick gray clouds hanging low over the local area. The wind was cold and bitter. It cut out an feelings of warmth and openess amongst the locals. A small group stood around an open grave. Asher stood quietly beside JC and listened to the priest deliver a small sermon.
"We mourn on this cold October day to farewell and young man, who is returning to the earth from whence he came. From dust to dust, ash to ash. >From love to love, from life to life. It's always a saddening time when a young life is lost. To lose one so young to cancer is a heart breaking moment for anyone. Robert Steven Michael was a vibrant young man who's strength was only beaten by the size of his heart. I now invite Mr Asher Wust to speak to us about the fine young man we today lay to rest." The priest motioned towards Asher who moved up to beside the priest to speak.
"Today, I don't believe I can shed tears. I have had a long time to prepare for this day. Twelve months to be exact. Still, I can't help but feel tired, sad and upset by the way I have lost my best friend. He was more than my best friend, he was my mentor, support network, second opinion and lover all in one fragile package. As he lost strength each day, I became more and more aware of how fragile human life can be. I also learnt how strong love can be. We walk past people dead in the streets on the way to work everyday. Most of these dead people have 9 - 5 jobs and it's only the routine that gets them through the day because they don't really know love. Love is something special and sacred. I, myself, feel special because I know what it is like to love and be loved by someone special. Even though I may not have Rob by my side anymore, I will always have his love in my heart." Asher concluded and moved back to where he had been standing previously. JC and Justin put their hands on Asher's shoulder. Asher was greatful for their support. As the pallbearers started to prepare to lower the casket into the ground, a piano and acoustic guitar began to play. As JC had promised, the boys began to sing at the appropriate time.
There's a thousand words that I could say to make you come home
Seems so long ago you walked away and left me alone
And I remember what you said to me, you were acting so st range
And maybe I was too blind to see that you needed a change
Was it something I said to make you turn away
To make you walk out and leave me cold
If I could just find a way to make it so that were right here
Right now
I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I'm trying my best to be a man and be strong
I drove myself insane wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains, you're
Gone
Now I don't wanna make excuses, baby,
Won't change the fact that you're gone
But if there's something that I could do, won't you please let me know
The times is passing so slowly now, guess that's my life without you
And maybe I could change my everyday, but baby I don't want to
So I'll just hang around and find some things to do
To take my mind off missing you
And I know in my heart, you can't say that you don't love me too
Please say you do, yeah
I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I'm trying my best to be a man and be strong
I drove myself insane wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains, you're
Gone
What will I do if I can't be with you
Tell me where will I turn to, baby who will I be
Now that we are apart, am I still in your heart?
Baby why can't you see that I need you here with me?
I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I'm trying my best to be a man and be strong
I drove myself insane wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains, you're
Gone
Asher's cheeks were wet with tears that had fallen silently as Rob's coffin had been lowered into the ground. As the crowd dispersed, Asher threw a single rose down onto the coffin and turned away. Standing directly behind him was JC. JC reached out and gently brushed away Asher's tears. Asher smiled faintly.
"And to think, I said when I spoke I wouldn't cry today."
"No one expects you to be perfect today. You just buried your boyfriend of what, three years? You're allowed to cry Ash." He gently pulled Asher into a hug and Asher cuddled on into JC's chest. Tears flowed a little more freely down over Asher's cheeks, though he didn't make a noise and that is what broke JC's heart the most. JC leant down and kissed Asher on the forehead. The other four soon made their way over to the pair and all of the wrapped their arms around JC and Asher, showing their support to their new friend.
A week or so later, Asher and JC were sitting quietly at Asher's while watching TV. Asher shifted and ended up lying back against JC. Absent mindedly, JC put his arm around Asher's chest and held him. The pair stayed like that until JC's cell phone rang and snapped their attention away from the television screen. It was then they realized what position they were in and quickly moved out of it. JC stood up to answer his phone and Asher went to the kitchen to boil the kettle for a coffee. JC walked into the kitchen while Asher was waiting for the kettle.
"Ash, we need a word."
"What's up Josh?"
"Asher, I can't go on pretending. I'm well and truly falling for you and I can't help it. Just before, how many times has that happened to us since we met?" He asked. Asher looked a JC.
"It's happen several times Josh. I know what you're saying, I can see where you're coming from, I'm... I'm..."
"You're what?" Asked JC.
"I'm falling for you as well. I was going to say, I'm not ready, but that wouldn't be fair on either of us."
"Where do we go now then?" Asked JC.
"Same as usual. Nothing is really different, we just know each other's feelings."
"So would it be wrong if I asked you out?" Questioned JC.
"Would it be wrong if I said yes?" Replied Asher. JC walked over to Asher and held out his arms. Asher came straight to them and leant up and kissed Josh on the lips. The stood there, mouths met, talking words of passion that were silent. When it ended Asher looked at Josh.
"We going out?"
"Where?" Asked JC, grinning. Asher slapped him on the arm.
"Shit head, you know what I mean." JC smiled warmly and nodded.
"We're going out." Asher smiled and leant in to kiss JC again.
--- Yeah I know, short again... sue me! Wow, it only took me five chapters to get them together. I dunno, I think this chapter was a little dodgy though... what do you think? feedback -=jellybeanking@hotmail.com =- let me know. 1) Gone - Nsync from the album 'Celebrity' Keep cool, take care Love, SC. xx