Heartache

This story continues where Heartache 13 left off in the story 'Heartache' in /High School/. This is the last chapter.

I apologize to all the readers for the long wait again. I tried to write as much as possible in this chapter to atone for my trespass :). Thank you for being there.

Note:

This story is fiction and is by no means depictive of the life of any person, place or thing. It contains no penetrative sexual acts between males YET and should only be read if it is legal to do so in your area.

Read at your own risk, okay. All names are made up and any similarities are just dumb luck.

Heartache 14 By Fjord

I got up from the floor with my eyes cast down. My parents needed time and I didn't want to rush them. Gosh, I needed time to think for own self. I had never been this impulsive before. This Wednesday morning I had no intention of opening the Pandora's Box but what Mom said made it crystal clear to me. This was the best opportunity for me to just face the music. My parents would understand, I thought. They just had to. Otherwise, I had been wrong about my parents all this time. It was strange that I didn't have the courage to tell them that I was not heterosexual but could muster enough self belief to say that I loved Jake the same way Jake loved me. I guessed maybe it would be easier for them to understand the word 'love' than 'gay'.

"Sit down," My Dad said firmly when he saw me get up.

I obeyed him by sitting on the single-seater sofa facing my parents. My heart was pounding hard and I could feel my ears feeling red hot. The truth was that I felt better after telling them that I loved Jake. I had kept this feeling from them for about three years and the guilt that had accumulated was getting heavier and heavier to carry every single fucking day. This time I just dropped it all, over the proverbial cliff. I just hoped that Mom and Dad wouldn't push me over a real cliff after that. I had tears ready to flow if my parents rejected me but I had been crying in silence for too long anyway. Under the tree at the park that provided me a welcome shade from the brightness of the sun and the overwhelming truth that I was living a lie, I had prayed for deliverance from the genetic inheritance that I carried and found nothing but a voice inside me telling me to just wait a little longer and things would be right once more. I did wait and the deliverance I looked for came in the form of Jake's love that I had never really hoped for. I wanted deliverance from the love that no one dared to speak about and that love spoke to me instead. I couldn't run away and I wouldn't run away, not from this love unless God took me away. Even now, in front of my parents I wanted out from this world but it had to be God's will. The small prayer for God to take me away from this world that did not welcome me as I was, kept repeating in my mind like a broken record. I knew deep in my heart that I was losing control over my life. I was losing control over who I wanted to be and who I really was. My mind was so messed up because of Jake. Shit, not because of Jake but because of me. I had followed my sexual instincts whenever the opportunity presented itself with Jake. I had sex with Jake with no thought of the consequences. I tried to tell myself that it was natural to have sex with the one you loved but it didn't feel right once I started thinking about it. It didn't feel right whenever I dwelled upon it. This wasn't what I had envisioned of my life with Jake. I never wanted to have sex as substitute for love. I only wanted this hole inside my heart that only Jake could fill, to be gone. I only wanted to hold him in my arms and to be in his embrace. Being under Jake and being fucked senseless by Jake's big dick while I jacked myself off was in my fantasy but that wasn't what I really wanted. The sex stuff was just the symptoms of my disease that can only be cured by Jake's love. Love couldn't be just about sex. It couldn't be. Otherwise, I could buy love from dark street corners that some lost boy haunted for my fix of sex. However, I bet Jake, with his experience and all, wouldn't bat an eyelid about having sex with me. He fucked a whole lotta people anyway. Me, I was just simply fucking horny for Jake. Gosh, I was having a stirring in my groin just thinking about it. I had better stop thinking, I thought.

I looked over at them and I saw my Dad looking at me like I was a stranger. My Mom was looking at her fingers. The sound of a few cars driving by accentuated the heavy silence in the living room.

"Say it again, Eric." Dad said to me. Mom turned her head to gaze at me. Suddenly, I was the center of their attention again.

"I love Jake the same way that he loves me."

"Then why did Jake say you didn't love him. You've been lying to him too." Dad said accusingly.

"No, it wasn't like that, Dad. He knew. We both knew. He said that to protect me, Dad." I said, paused and added, "We wanted to keep it a secret until we've finished high school at least."

"I don't know what to say Eric..." Dad paused and looked over at Mom helplessly.

"I told him about our thoughts about him and Jake being a couple...," Mom said to Dad while looking at me. "Is that why you decided to tell us this now?"

I nodded.

"We thought that it was all over when you brought Justine home to meet us. I mean we suspected something but never really thought seriously about it." Dad said. "How can you be so sure that you two love each other? It could be just a phase. You two are best friends and... and... Maybe you two like each other so much that you think it was love." My Dad was grabbing on to any floating debris that was within reach as he floated down the river of whatever.

"I know it, Dad. I can feel the truth of my feelings. This feels so right for me." I said to him earnestly.

"Okay, but how could you be so sure that both of you would last..." Dad said and it instantly made me look up. Dad met my eyes squarely. He wanted Jake and me to last, I thought. The tiny spark of hope inside me became a small flickering flame.

"Jake would be the only one for me, Dad. I don't think I can live without him. I need him in my life so much and I know he needs me too." I paused. "I hope you two would understand how I feel." Dad looked at Mom and she just rolled her eyes upwards slightly and started to rub her temples with her index fingers.

"How long have you two kept this a secret?" Dad asked sharply. I started wondering why Mom was so damn quiet.

"Three years..." I said and as soon as the words emitted from my mouth I knew I made a chronological mistake. Mom and Dad looked real mad and if I were them I would be mad at me too. Me and my big mouth did it again.

"Three years... You've kept this from us for three years?" Mom finally opened her mouth with a high pitched question. Clearly, she and Dad were shocked. I had to clear up the issue fast.

"Well, yes, but we only knew that we love each other last Friday night."

"What?" My parents shouted in unison. I almost jumped out of my skin.

"Dad, Mom... I fell in love with him about three years ago but I didn't think he would feel the same and I just kept it inside. Jake said he fell in love with me at the same time and he also kept it from me for the same reason. It was only last Friday night that Jake finally told me that he loves me." I paused to let my words sink in. "He said he loves me. And I told him that I love him too and we've been trying to hide it from you guys ever since." I paused. "Well, until Jake broke down yesterday."

My beloved parents were struggling to take in everything that I was saying. I could see it in their faces. In a way I was glad to see them struggle with it. I mean, how would any parents take it? If my parents said, "Oh... Okay. Carry on... See ya..." I would go nuts, wouldn't anyone? This was serious stuff. I wanted them to really understand how I feel.

"I fought this feeling all this time because I know that it would mean that...." I almost broke down as I pushed myself to say the dirty phrase. "I'm gay..." My Mom and Dad just stared at me. I had to look away. I couldn't face them. It would kill me if I see any signs of disgust in their expression.

"I'm really sorry Mom, Dad... I tried to fight it so hard... I prayed and prayed that God would take this feeling away from me... I tried to have girlfriends but it was all just an act... I knew what I wanted. I wanted Jake. At first, I hated God for making me this way but then I figured He made me this way for some reason or another... I tried telling myself that if I deny this feeling inside me then I would be denying what God had created... and when Jake said he loves me... I was so happy..." I wasn't even sure my parents were listening as I droned on and on. Tiny rivers of tears were running down my face but I didn't even bother to wipe them away. The tears would continue flowing anyway and I might as well let it dry up on its own. I looked at them and they were still in the same posture of shocked parents. At least they didn't fall asleep listening to my self-pity, I thought.

"Go on, son..." Dad said to me softly. He called me son, I thought in hope. I began to feel cautiously more upbeat.

"After Jake told me he loves me, I couldn't hide behind any excuses anymore... So I told him that I love him too. I wanted to tell you guys yesterday after Jake told me that you guys knew he was gay. But then Justine came in and then I couldn't... I wasn't as brave as I had thought..." I said and sobbed quietly.

"Oh, Eric... come here..." My Mom opened her arms for me and I rushed into her embrace. I just fell apart in her arms. I couldn't hold it in any longer. Dad stroked my head gently as I held on to Mom tightly. They didn't reject me. They still loved me.

"I am so scared..." I said to them as I sobbed. The hurt in me needed an outlet and I had to let it go. My parents were in pain too, I knew. I caused that pain and I would have to help heal them but right now I had to heal myself first.

"Eric, we were just a little bit shocked, okay. Please forgive us. Don't ever think we're going to reject you. We're both here for you... and Jake." My Mom said as she held me tight. Dad embraced both of us and kissed the top of my head. They still loved me and for that I thanked God.

I was in my bed thinking about what happened this morning in Jake's house. It was stupidly reckless for Jake and me to have that hot quickie in that washroom, I thought. Anybody could have walked in. I should have said no. Jake would definitely stop doing his sexy number on me. I was so careless and impulsive and stupid. Luckily his parents were not up yet; otherwise all hell would've broken loose. How could anyone explain if we were caught red handed? But it was just so difficult to resist Jake. I felt like a kid in a candy store when I was with Jake. I wanted every single part of his body. His skin, I wanted to caress, and his hair, I wanted to smell, and his lips, I wanted to kiss and his dic..."Eric! Are you awake?" Mom's voice stopped my lusty thoughts in their tracks. I actually blushed.

"Yeah, Mom..." I answered with a false steadiness.

"Good, Jake's parents are coming over in ten minutes. Get yourself ready, okay?"

"Okay, Mom." I said and got up. I was ready for like two hours ago. Looking into the mirror, I saw myself looking back at me.

"Hey, good lookin'. Now, just let your Mom and Dad do the talkin' okay until they give you the cue. Then drop da bomb..." I smiled weakly at the lame effort to keep my spirits up. I felt so damn nervous that I felt like staying in my room and let my parents do all the talking. But I knew that I had to meet with Jake's parents to settle the whole issue once and for all.

I was sitting on the single seater sofa with Jake's parents on the right and my parents in front of me. Our living room was pretty neat with everything in its place but the tension was all over, making us feel uncomfortable. The outside light that went through the double glazed windows brightened the living room slightly. Mom's prized white and blue decorative vase was at the corner between the sofas that my parents and Jake's were sitting in and my eyes were on it for whatever reason.

"Let's start..." Dad began and looked at Mr. A.

"I just want to say how sorry we are that our son Jake caused so much trouble for your family," Mr. A said to us. His wife held his left hand, looking at him. I itched to say something but my Mom glared at me.

"There's nothing to be sorry about. It's just one of those things that happened." Mom replied. Mrs. A smiled gratefully at Mom.

"I still don't understand how Jake became like that..." Mr. A said.

"Like what?" I asked sarcastically. Mom's eyes became real big and I backed down.

"A homosexual... Our son is a homo..." Mr. A stated flatly. I almost stood up to confront him but Mom's angry gaze paralyzed my body.

"Jake is in love with Eric..." Mom said firmly as she turned her steely gaze towards Mr. A. He couldn't meet her eyes and quickly looked downwards. "This is Jake, your son, we're talking about. So please be civil and refrain from using such hurtful words."

"I'm sorry..." Mr. A said apologetically, "It's just so hard for us to take in... My wife and I talked about it last night and we don't know where we went wrong. Maybe it's because we had him so late in life. I mean I'm already fifty three and he's coming on eighteen..." Mr. A sure looked good for his age, I thought. If he had dyed his grey hair at the temple areas he would look even younger. Nobody would ever notice if a blond haired guy dyed his hair blond. Blondes have more fun, I thought. Jake had his genes and probably is as good looking or maybe better than by the time he reached fifty three. I dreamt for like a few seconds before I caught myself zoning out.

"...and he was such an independent child. He didn't ask for much but we tried to give and guide him as much as we can... I don't know what went wrong." Mr. A's voice trailed off and he began to sob. "I don't want him to be what he is. I don't want to hate my own son. I don't want any of this..." I pitied him but I also wanted to scream at him, telling him that Jake probably didn't want it either. Fuck all, I didn't want any of this shit to happen.

"Jim, you'd never hate Jake... I know that." Mrs. A said softly as she caressed his hand. "You know you still love him no matter what."

"Of course I still love him, honey... He's my son... but every time I look at him I would see a person that embodies every single thing that I hate..." Mr. A said with such a quiet force that it caught me off guard. My parents were shocked as well. Mrs. A let go of his hand and cupped her face with her hands and started to sob herself.

"What is it that you hate so much?" My Dad asked. Mr. A looked at my Dad with such sad eyes. He looked at his wife for a second before looking back at my Dad.

"When I was seven, I was sexually abused..." Mr. A said slowly and I almost choked as air went out of my lungs in a loud gasp. Mom's right hand went to cover her open mouth but my Dad just left his open. "...by my own uncle. It only stopped when someone caught him soliciting for sex at a park and they sent him to a reform school. He was just fifteen. I never saw him again after that. The whole family disowned him, I guess." He paused. "My own parents never knew that I had been abused. Or may be they knew but just didn't want to face it." Mr. A paused again as we took his words in. It was just too much information.

"Somebody raped him at the reform school... and they said he bled to death..." Mr. A's voice trailed off again as he sobbed. "He was only sixteen when he died... I thought it was my fault..." Mrs. A right hand held her husband's hand.

"I'm sorry..." My Dad said softly. Mom was crying silent tears.

"I carried it all inside me until I met Jane..." Mr. A said as he looked lovingly at his wife. "She saved me. We went for therapy for several years before I could accept the fact that it wasn't my fault and left it behind me. We only had Jake much later..."

"I'm sorry, Jim... Thank you for trusting us with what you have told us. What happened to you was... I can't even put into words how sorry and sad I am... But please don't compare Jake with your uncle. Jake didn't do anything wrong. He's just in love with Eric... When he kissed Eric he thought he had died. You must understand that..." Mom said to him. I love my Mom, I thought.

"I know this has nothing to do with what happened to me but... I just can't get rid of this disgust and anger I felt each time I see some gay guy..."

My Dad interjected quickly, "This has nothing to do with your case, period. I am sorry about what happened to you as a boy but you have already dealt with it. Remember that. Now, it's time for you to deal with Jake." I was like a fish out of water, trying to take in everything and empathize with Jake's father and at the same time feeling really mad at his stupidity. I understood how messed up he would have been as a kid and how much of his past resurfaced when he found out that Jake was in a way like his molester. I would remind him of his molester too.

"That's what I told him last night but he just wouldn't listen." Mrs. A added dejectedly.

"I'm sorry to have to tell you all this. You are good people and we're just lucky to be your neighbors... I'm so sorry that Jake had done what he did... I guessed it was our fault to have moved here."

"Hold on there..." Dad said firmly. "We want to tell you that whatever happened in the hospital happened and we're not blaming anyone that it happened. In fact we're kind of glad it happened."

It was time for Jake's parents to be shocked. They looked at Dad as if he was mad but waited for him to continue anyway.

"Just imagine if we never knew that Jake is gay. He would have to keep it a secret from all of us. He'll probably carry this secret alone like you did with yours, Jim. I'm sure you don't want that to happen to him. WE don't want that to happen to him. Jake is your son but we feel like he's part of our family as well. Eric is his best friend and frankly, he's not even bothered with what had happened and who Jake is."

"That's because Eric's a special boy." I was flushed red with embarrassment when I heard Mrs. A say that. I felt like disappearing from the room, pronto, but then they'd find out that Special Boy was also Invisible Kid, I mused. "He helped Jake so much that I can't even begin to thank him." Mr. A nodded in agreement.

"Jake's special too and we love him." Mom interjected. "Please don't reject him just because he's different from what you wanted him to be or that he reminds you of your past. The past doesn't equal the present. You may lose your son and no amount of therapy can remedy that."

"We know... We're not rejecting him. We still love him but it's just so hard for us to accept. For Jim, especially. We just need some help from your family to help us get through this, for Jake's sake." Mrs. A said and Mr. A nodded quietly.

"I am so scared of losing him," Mr. A said sadly, "But I can't even bring myself to look at him anymore. My wife asked me to talk to him last night but I was so distressed that I left the house when Jake got there." Jake must be hurting inside, I thought. I never saw anything that gave the impression that Jake was feeling hurt inside this morning, except maybe when Jake was sitting alone in the kitchen staring at the cold and limp cornflakes. Come to think of it, he must have been staring at the cornflakes for about an hour for the cornflakes to turn into the crap-like lump. I was so focused on my own happiness that I missed the signs. 'I should've... I could've...' sentences started to surface in my thoughts. My parents and Jake's parents kept on talking while I listened and listened. It took a while before the talking trickled down to short sentences like 'I don't know what to do...', 'You're going to be fine..., 'I love him...', 'Then don't react as if you are rejecting him...' and so on and so forth. I was past caring because I already know that Jake's parents still loved him. They probably came to us for some moral support and advice. I would like to help Jake understand his parents' issues (mostly his Dad's tragic past) with him being gay. I was jolted back into real-time when silence was taking over their conversation. I waited for someone to begin again and then Dad restarted the dialogue.

"Jim..." My Dad said kindly, "Your past is your past. Now is the present... Jake is living in this present time and you should too. If you live in the past whenever you think about Jake you'll compare him with a false reality that is your past. Be in the present... This moment in time... The exact second you breathe... and you will see the truth." Mr. A stared at Dad for a long time as the words seeped in.

"What is the truth?" Mr. A asked no one in particular.

"When you let go of your past... what does Jake mean to you?" My Dad continued to push him.

As if having cobwebs removed from his eyes Jake's father said, "I love my son and I don't want to lose him..." Jake's mother was sobbing silently with her blond head resting on her husband's shoulder.

My Dad just nodded. Mom was dabbing her eyes again. Between Mom and Mrs. A, the tissues were running low, probably.

We were all quiet. Not knowing what else to do, I just watched Jake's parents. They were desperately clinging to each other as the words really sank in. I just hoped that their love for Jake was enough to let go of their own egos and past problems.

"Thanks...," Mr. A said softly after a several minutes. He looked up at my Dad and smiled slightly.

"Our whole family will support your family because we love your son too..." Dad said and looked at me. It was a precious moment for me, that I would remember my whole life.

"Thank you. It's not going to be easy... but knowing that we love Jake is enough strength for us... I can't wait for him to get home..." Mr. A said as he glanced at his wife. Mrs. A was smiling a little.

"There's one more thing you two have to know... We just found out about it this morning and it kinda caught off us guard too. Just hold on to your seats and listen to Eric..." My Mom said quickly and Jake's parents were looking confused to say the least as they looked at me.

Mom gave her signal. So, I just blurted my own secret out. It felt like a Jerry Springer show without the wacky audience and Jerry himself.

"What!" Mr. A exclaimed after I said that I loved Jake too. Mrs. A just stared at me in shock.

"Are you joking, Eric? It's not a good time..." Mrs. A said angrily.

"Calm down, both of you..." Dad said. They looked at him as if they were now convinced Dad was the hunchback of Notredame. "Eric loves Jake too... He's like Jake too... You know..." Dad was getting real fidgety trying to explain things when Jake's parents finally got the whole idea.

Then Jake's parents started to stare at me. The quiet in the room was eerie because everybody was holding their breath.

"Tell them what you have told us, Eric..." Dad came to the rescue and I started to breathe again. So, I told them everything except the sex bits which I was 100% sure was a question bubble on top of their heads.

"Last Friday?" Mrs. A asked me with her eyebrows raised slightly.

"Yeah..." I replied, embarrassed. "It just happened..."

"Now that you told us, everything's much clearer, especially when Jake went crazy when he thought you died. And it may explain the sudden mood changes that Jake seemed to be going through lately. When we came back from our weekend getaway he was smiling from ear to ear. The next Monday afternoon he was in his room all day and he didn't even come down for dinner..."

"We had a small fight during lunch at school." I explained. "A lovers fight..." I added with embarrassment.

"Did he influence you in any way?" Mr. A suddenly asked. I turned red with anger as I looked him in the eyes.

"Never... and before you ask, I didn't influence him either. In fact we've been hiding from each other for three years if you had listened carefully..."

"Eric... Jim has a right to know..." Dad said to me firmly.

I wanted to answer that 'Jim' can shove his right leg up his ass for all I care but Mr. A quickly apologized to me.

"You don't have to say sorry to me but to Jake. He deserves better than that..." I said as I tried my best to control my emotions.

"I know... I know..." Mr. A said in sadness. I felt sorry for him in a way. Now he had two reminders of his past to live with.

"I love your son, sir..." I said softly, "...and he loves me too. We know its going to be hard for us. Most people would hate us for being ourselves. I read about gay people who live alone for the rest of their lives... They also died alone... I don't want that to happen to us. That's why we need every support that we can get. Especially from our own parents." I looked at my parents and almost cried when I saw determination in their eyes to love me no matter what.

"This is just too much to take..." Mrs. A said to me. "Are you sure you're gay, Eric? Do you really love Jake or are you just trying to help him?" I didn't know what to say to that.

"Forget I said that... Sorry, Eric, I'm just feeling a little mixed up... I believe you Eric." Mrs. A quickly added before I even started to reply.

"Let's just take our time with this..." Mom said to everyone.

"I need a drink." Mr. A said to no one in particular.

"Me too..." I replied without thinking. Everyone was suddenly quiet and I felt so goddam stupid. And then my Dad started laughing and Mom was covering her mouth as she started giggling. Jake's parents joined in the infectious laughter. I just smiled as I waited for their mild hysteria to end. I really felt better after telling Jake's parents that I loved Jake the same way Jake loved me.

"I'll get us some beer and cola..." Mom said as she got up still smiling.

"I'll help..." Mrs. A said and started to get up.

"No... No need. There's some more you need to hear from Eric..." Mom said with a smile. And with that I became the center of attention again. A big white spot light was on me and the comfortable dark blue leather sofa I was in.

"Well?" Mrs. A said to me expectantly as I fidgeted in my seat.

"I fell in love with Jake that day when he broke your vase..." I began and then continued telling them more of what they wanted to know. Mom came and brought the beers and colas (I had a cola, of course) and some crackers and we had a good time talking things through.

There were sincere hugs and kisses by the time their visit ended. Jake's parents promised to talk to Jake when he came home from school. It was like 4.30pm when it ended. Jake's Dad hugged me tight but he didn't say anything. I guessed he would need more time but at the moment he was trying real hard. Jake's Mom kissed me on the cheek and ruffled my neatly combed hair. I didn't mind, she always did that anyway when I went to their house. She said I looked sexier with messed up hair. I bet Derek would agree. I wondered how Derek would react when he finds out later today about me being in the same team. I was tired out and just wanted to crash on my bed. Before that my Dad said something that stuck to my mind to this day.

"Eric, how did you grow up so fast?" My Dad asked as he hugged me. "We are so proud of you being our son... we love you and don't forget that till the day you die." I went upstairs and had a good nap after that. No dreams this time.

"Wake up sleepyhead..." Jake said as he shook my body awake. I heard him before my body did.

"Jake..." I said groggily and then he kissed me, on the lips, before I opened my eyes.

"I still love you..."

"What a surprise," I said as I awoke, looking at Jake with my sleepy brown eyes.

"Well...?"

"Well, what?" I asked him lazily.

"Do you still love me...?"

I grinned at him.

"Oh yeah, you do... You do... Yeah you do... You do... You do..." Jake said as he poked me repeatedly on the ribs. Jake was being dorky and it didn't quite suit him. So I hit him on the head with my pillow. Before I knew it, Jake was on top of me. I guessed pretty boy was mad at me... You know, mad enough to want to kiss me on the mouth. I got a super fast hardon just kissing him back. Boy, he was doing it rough; I almost suffocated until Jake stopped to take a breather for himself.

"I missed you so much at school..." Jake said as he lay on top of me, looking deep into my eyes. "Did you know I almost got killed because of you, this morning?"

"Was it because of your breath...?" I couldn't resist goading him. Jake's eyes flashed with anger before he sucked on my neck like a vampire. I was squirming with delight until he stopped and looked at me again.

"Jerry almost punched me in the face when I got to school..." Jake said and rolled off to my right side.

"Wow... why?" I asked in surprise and Jake raised his eyebrows.

"Me?" I asked again and Jake nodded.

"He thought I punched your pretty face last Monday. It seems the whole school thought you were in the hospital because of me..."

I wanted to tell him that I suspected that some of the people in school would think that after what Justine told me yesterday but that brought up some issues I was not ready to deal with, yet.

"...Thank God, Derek was there to clear things up. Otherwise, Jerry would be at the hospital right now..." Jake said and I sniggered. Jerry would be at the hospital if they really had a fight but only as Jake's visitor and we both knew that. Jake laughed at his self-deprecating joke.

"Hmmmm... How did Derek take it when you told him you were non-heterosexual? Was he mad at you?" I asked. Jake bit his lower lip. Sexy.

"No... He was surprised but he got more than I had planned for him to get..."

"What do you mean?"

"I told him I was gay and just after my confession he said, and I quote 'My God, you and Eric are a couple... Shit, fucking shit, I should've seen it. It was right in front of me... You lucky bastard... You fuck... Wow... I hate you... I'm so happy for you two... I really hate you...' Unquote..." Jake said in a monotonous tone that I almost pissed myself giggling. Jake got on top of me again as I was giggling away and kept on kissing me all over my face until I stopped laughing. "I couldn't deny anything after that. But he promised to keep his mouth shut..." Jake added. He then, bit his upper lip.

'You're not kidding, right?" I asked after I stopped laughing. After telling my parents that I was, ehem, gay, I wasn't really worried. The most important people in the world for me had accepted me as I was and I wanted to tell Derek himself anyway when he arrived from school, but as usual some things would never go as planned.

"Nah, he now knows about us, seriously... Are you mad at me?"

"No, it's okay, he would've found out anyway. What else did he say?"

"He said that he likes you very much... and he thinks you like him a little too." Jake said and carefully watched for my reaction.

"Yeah... he's cute... reminds me when you were 14..." I said. "Can you get off me? I can't breathe..." I added while wracking my brain on ways to make sure Jake didn't get the wrong impression. Jake lay next to me on his side with his face close to mine.

"I think I'm jealous..." Jake whispered in my ears.

"Let's have a threesome then..." I said to shock him. Jake just smiled and said, "Yeah, right... over my dead body."

"Look, Jake... I may be attracted to him but I've you and that's what I really want," I said as his moody demeanor continued to unsettle me.

"I trust you, dude. It's the brat that I'm worried about. He's too cute and daring." I glanced at Jake wondering how Jake came to that conclusion. Jake met my eyes and as if understanding my questioning look, said, "He kissed me this morning after I told him I was gay..."

"On the mouth?"

"Uhuh..."

"Tongue?"

"Uhuh... I was too shocked to be able to close my mouth. He was too fast..." Jake said apologetically. "I pushed him away..."

"After like a minute, probably..." I said, glaring at him. Jake's blush confirmed my suspicion.

"He was a good kisser..." Jake offered a lame reply.

"You don't have to tell me all this, you know..." I said, turning away from him.

"I know... but just in case he told you about it later, I think it's better for me to tell you first. Anyway, I panicked and told him not to tell you about the kiss... that's how he found out we were a couple."

"You're hopeless, you know... That kid got you figured out that easy... Shit... I hope you didn't carve our name on any desk today... We're gonna get killed in a week..." I said in despair with my back towards him.

"I'm sorry... He took me by surprise... I told you I was stupid... Shit, why do you even bother with me?" Jake started to sound like a little boy.

"Because I fuckin' love you... that's why..." I replied. Jake scooted closer to hug me from behind and I heard a muffled, "Thanks, Eric... I love you too," from him. After a long pause I said, "We gotta talk. Just the three of us..."

"Okay..." Jake replied softly with his warm breath tickling my neck. I slowly turned around to face my pretty boy. There were tears in his eyes and in mine.

"Jake, what's wrong with me?"

"Huh... What're you talking about...?" Jake asked softly.

"I got a hardon just thinking of you and Derek kissing..." I confessed to him. Jake smiled.

"I got a hardon thinking about the threesome..." Jake said and sniggered.

"Did you get a hardon when he kissed you...?"

Jake nodded slowly.

"Did you kiss him back?"

Jake nodded again.

"Then, I get to kiss him too..." I said and Jake looked shaken.

"Bad idea, dude..." Jake said.

"What did his mouth taste like?" I asked and Jake's eyes wavered as I stared at him.

"Soft and sweet... Minty..." Jake replied. We were playing a dangerous game and I just couldn't stop myself.

"Did you suck his tongue?"

"No, he sucked mine..." Jake replied. "Can we stop this? I feel sick..."

"Okay... Sorry..." I said and Jake hugged me tight.

"I'm not going to fall in love with him, okay, Eric. You're my one and only. I wouldn't hurt you like that. I have you now and I won't let you go." I held him tight as those thoughts of lust that I had for other boys in the past played in my mind. I wasn't an angel, I thought.

"This is too scary, Jake. You can hurt me so much..."

"I'm scared too, Eric. I love you too much, that's why... Maybe it's not normal."

"Good, don't be normal. I want you to love me too much... so you won't leave me. I don't ever want to not love you, Jake."

"I hope this feeling would last until the day we die." Jake said and with that we went silent as we enjoyed each others presence. The quiet felt almost spiritual. We stayed still for like five minutes.

"My parents know you're here?" I asked as reality finally returned. Jake nodded and told me he was asked to wake me up for dinner. It seemed we were having a big family dinner for both families tonight.

"Have your parents talked to you?"

"Uhuh..." Jake mumbled as he rolled, lay on his back and started to look up at the empty ceiling. "They were really trying hard... Dad told me what happened to him and I... and I..." Jake couldn't continue and I pulled him closer to me as I gave him a hug. I knew that Jake felt guilty for being gay especially with his Dad's sad past.

"They tried so hard and I love them so much..." Jake whispered in my ear. I just held him tight. "They told me you came out to your parents this morning and how they found out we were boyfriends... I should've been there for you."

"It's okay... I had to tell my Mom and Dad this morning. I'm glad I did. It went quite okay... They didn't overreact. They were just stunned, I guess." I said and continued to tell him what happened this morning and then about the discussion we had during lunch with his parents.

"Your 'rents are cool... Mine are a little mixed up but they're trying hard to adjust. My Mom and Dad hugged me after our talk but it felt awkward."

"Give them time, man. Things will get better. I'm sure." I said to him.

"Did they talk to you about being careful?" Jake said and raised his left eyebrow provocatively.

"Yep... Both set of parents did. They didn't ask whether we had sex but they told me to make sure we're both 'careful'..."

"Do you wanna be 'careful' right now?" Jake whispered to me. I really wanted to be 'careful' with Jake right there and then but remembering the foolish risk we had taken this morning, I decided to decline.

"We better get down before they start thinking about us having sex right now..." I said suddenly after having that scary thought.

"Who cares?" Jake replied as he pulled me on top of his well toned body. I got off him and told him to stuff his blond head inside his rear orifice. He laughed as he hugged me from behind while I groomed myself for dinner. I just looked at him in the mirror and as our eyes met Jake said he wanted to fuck me. That got him an elbow in his midriff.

We had a fairly uneventful dinner that night. Derek didn't join us as his parents took him out. I did manage to talk to Derek before he went and got a generous hug (I felt his semi hardon) from him. The three of us really had to talk, I thought. After Derek went off with his parents (he promised not to tell them about us yet) we gathered at the dinner table.

Everyone was civil to each other. Well, being civil didn't stop both set of parents looking at us with that 'Are they having sex?' expression. Or maybe that was just paranoia on my side.

So after a great dinner of pasta and cold chicken salad and wine for the legal drinkers (the underage drank Cokes), we went to the living room for some after dinner conversation.

As usual my father started the conversation. He gave a toast for our families. "Let's drink to an unusual yet beautiful relationship between our families..."

Like the dorks we were that night, we all replied, "Hear! Hear!" and clinked our glasses and drank. Then we started talking about normal stuff and as usual the two Dads started talking about football, the two Moms talked about the food and Jake and I just listened. I was feeling really tired and started to yawn. So I told them that I wanted to sleep so I can go to school tomorrow.

"Are you feeling up for it, Eric?" Mom asked and I nodded.

"Yeah, Mom... and I'll get some rest during the classes... Don't worry," I said as I gave my best reassuring smile.

"I'll make sure..." Jake added.

"Okay..." Mom said as her eyes went from Jake to me and back to Jake. I guess she still couldn't believe that we were a couple.

"Good night everyone," I said as I trundled off to bed. I just left Jake there. As I was reaching the upstairs landing, I heard some footsteps behind me.

"They told me to tuck you in," Jake said to me. I turned around to see him smiling.

"They did...?" I asked in surprise.

Jake nodded and winked. I held out my right hand and Jake's left hand grabbed it. We walked into my room hand in hand. I shut the door quietly.

"I have a feeling they're talking about us right now..." Jake said as he lay on my bed.

"You think?" I replied playfully as I looked down at him from the edge of the bed.

"If I asked them, do you think they'll let me sleep here, tonight?"

"Hahaha..." I replied sarcastically and lay next to him. I got closer and rested my head on his shoulder. His right hand was on my chest caressing my left nipple. We were just having our quiet love-filled moment when the door was knocked on twice and opened before we could even respond. There was Derek at the door watching us before closing the door behind him as he stepped inside.

"Wow..." Derek said breathlessly as he looked at us with his beautiful grin.

"I am so gonna kill you, dude," Jake said angrily. "Do you know what privacy means?"

"Sorry... But I just wanna see with my own eyes." And jack off later, I thought. Derek came closer and stared at us. "I wish I had someone to hold," He said and my heart went out to him. I heard Jake let out a soft sigh.

"Derek, you're gonna find someone too okay..." Jake said with sympathy.

"I know... but I feel so lonely sometimes. I want what you two have."

"Derek, come here..." I said and felt Jake's body stiffen. I couldn't care less as Derek lay next to me. I was now sandwiched between two cute boys. "I know you like me a lot."

"I think I like Jake too..." Derek replied. I sighed and glanced at Jake, who was rubbing his forehead.

"You just want to get into our pants, right?" I said to Derek, who was making himself comfortable. He was still wearing his jacket but I could feel his warm body.

"Yeah..." He agreed. "I have no chance now, I guess."

"You guessed right, dude." Jake replied quickly. "You're gonna have to find your own boyfriend. We're taken."

"What about some fun sex? You know like a threesome... I'll suck yo..." Derek couldn't continue as a pillow was placed on his cute face. We only removed it when he made the time-out sign with his hands.

"Gosh, that was good sex..." Derek said to us with shining eyes and we all laughed our heads off.

"Seriously... I think Phillip Michel the exchange student from Canada likes me... If you want me to stop liking you guys, please find out if his stares are because I'm cute or because he can see dead people." Derek said to us after we stopped laughing. We all giggled again. Derek was fun to be with. Knowing that he was not alone made his cheerful personality come out, I thought.

"I like Phil," I said. "I'll find out for you." I paused and said, "Derek, we're all not out yet, okay. So you have to be careful." Jake sniggered at the word 'careful' and got a slap on his chest. "Most of the people in school are not too homophobic but you never really know people until you know them."

"I know... I'll always be careful." Derek said and Jake and I laughed to his disbelief. "I swear." Derek added.

"We believe you'll always be 'careful', dude." Jake said as he looked at me. We both burst out laughing again.

"You guys are weird... cute but weird." Derek said and snuggled closer to me. Jake noticed this and looked at me. I just smiled at Jake. "Thanks for not kicking me out, Jake." Derek added knowingly.

We stayed like that for a few more minutes before I noticed Derek was dozing off. I was also feeling sleepy. Jake was wide awake watching us.

"Derek, go sleep in your room." I said as I shook Derek awake. He took his time getting up.

"That was nice... Can we do this again tomorrow night?" Derek asked playfully.

"Nope..." Jake quickly replied. "We're gonna lock the door." He added and got a smile from Derek.

"Well, good night guys. I gotta go..." Derek said as he got out of the bed. "I'll be next door listening through the wall." He ran out of the room as two pillows were thrown at him.

"I love you, Eric, but sometimes you're too nice to people." Jake said as he collected the pillows while I closed the bedroom door.

"I like him, Jake. You like him too. He needed a cuddle, so I gave it to him. Anyway, once he got a boyfriend, he won't bother us anymore."

"I think Phil Michel is like us. I saw him staring at you a few times."

"Really? He's cute dontcha think?"

"Yeah, but he doesn't do anything for me."

"Well, he's got a really cool French accent... I bet he'll be screaming Oui! Oui! When he's being fucked..." I said and laughed to myself. Jake looked at me quizzically.

"What?" I asked him. "I was just speaking out my mind."

"Oui, Oui?" Jake replied.

"So what?" I said defensively.

"When are we gonna do it?" Jake asked slowly and I got real uncomfortable with where the subject was going to.

"Definitely not tonight." I replied. "But later of course. I'm not ready yet."

"Are you gonna let me suck you?"

"Jake, when I'm ready, okay."

"I don't know how long I can wait..." Jake whined.

"If I don't want to do those stuff, it doesn't mean I don't love you, okay."

Jake kept quiet. I just sulked. The situation suddenly got tense.

"I'm sorry..."

"You better be..." I replied tersely.

"I should go..." Jake said and got off the bed. I wanted to call him back but pride stopped me. He was just being a jackass in trying to pressure me into more serious sex.

"Good night, Eric. I love you, dude." Jake said as he looked down at me. "I'm sorry..."

I got out of the bed and quickly hugged him.

"I love you too, Jake." I said as I held him tight. He started to kiss my neck and a low moan came from my mouth. I grabbed his hair and kissed him. Jake stepped forward and pushed me back on the bed. I was breathing hard as he brought his open mouth on mine. Our tongues quickly met and we French kissed in a frenzy. Jake was on top of me suffocating me with his mouth. I was in heaven. He started to move his hands all over my body and finally his right hand found my hardon. My pants never felt so tight. I pushed myself onto his hands as I moaned in ecstasy. My hands were on his ass, grabbing and pushing his crotch onto my thigh. Then suddenly he stopped kissing me. I looked at him as he stared at me.

"You drive me crazy, Eric. I want you so much. But I gotta go before I do anything stupid. I don't wanna lose you. I love you too much." I realized there and then that Jake could make me do whatever he wanted. During such passionate moments I would've done anything but later regret doing them. Jake realized that too, it seemed. It was like a ray of heavenly light had enlightened my mind at that instant and I truly realized that this was the person that I loved and would love for the rest of my human life.

I combed his hair and straightened his shirt as he placed his hands on my shoulder. He was watching my face and I met his eyes a few times.

"Okay, they won't suspect a thing." I said as I turned him to face the mirror. At that moment our eyes met again and we kept the eye contact without blinking for as long as we could. I blinked first.

"I win, dude." Jake said and kissed my cheek. "I love you."

"You better go now, Jake, or I won't be able to let you go." I said with a grin and pushed him to the door. He opened the door with his right hand while his left hand was trapped in my hands. I pulled him towards me and we kissed again, lips only. The moment I opened my mouth, Jake stopped kissing me and slowly pushed me away.

"Gotta go, Eric." He said with a knowing grin. "See you in the morning."

"Je t'aime." I said.

"Au revoir... Je t'aime." Jake said and closed the door with a smile on his face. I just stood there looking at the door. The French lessons were not in vain.

Jake didn't come to visit me in the early morning like usual. I was hoping he would. I slept late, tossing and turning, thinking about Jake and school. By the time I woke up there was just enough time to get ready for school. I swore silently as I realized Jake didn't remember to give me the school assignments. I'd have to get myself out of trouble the old fashioned way, by apologizing. I wore my dark blue polo shirt and 501. I had my CK boxers on just in case I start to leak when I see Jake, heheh.

When I got downstairs, Jake and Derek were already there. Mom was busy making scrambled eggs while Dad was deep into his newspaper.

"Morning, everyone..." I said and proceeded to sit opposite Jake next to Derek.

It was strange. I had another enlightening moment that morning. We were all talking normally like any family having breakfast together. Nobody would notice there were three non-heterosexual boys at the breakfast table. We were normal and for most people three gay boys together were not normal. In this world we live in, three good-looking gay boys in the same room would mean immorality, debauchery, irresponsibility and sex, lots of free sex. That moment stayed in my memory to this day. I realized that being gay did not mean immorality, debauchery, irresponsibility and just sex.

Being gay meant being just a normal human being.

THE END

Epilogue (well, more like a deleted scene)

It was our first day at school as a legit couple (legit meaning some other people knew other than just the two of us). We arrived early and I saw Jerry watching us from his parked Mustang as we drove past. Jake parked his car at his usual spot. Being a jock had some nice privileges.

Derek said, "See ya, pretty boys!" and got out. We called him back to close the door. He left in a hurry after that. Phillip Michel was waiting, I mused.

"Jake!" I whispered hoarsely.

"What?" He whispered back and smiled. He was such a cute klutz sometimes.

"Remember?" I said, trying to jog his memory of what we wanted to do this morning.

"Oh..." He said and nodded. "I'm ready, dude..." I had a look around and saw nobody else near the car.

"The coast is clear," I said. Jake quickly grabbed my head and we kissed. At first it was just a tame kiss but once I opened my mouth we were going at it like there was no tomorrow.

Suddenly, a voice from outside the car said the words that I had long wanted to hear, "Hey, faggots! Get the fuck out of the car... Oh my God... Oh My God... Oh fuck..."

It was hard to stop kissing Jake but I decided that Jerry had had enough and separated our wet mouths. Jake sighed loudly as our eyes met. I wiped my wet mouth with my hand and opened the car door. Jerry was outside holding his head looking at me and Jake and me and Jake until I thought he was going to screw his head off. Jake and I slammed the doors at the same time and Jerry seemed to be jolted back to real-time by the loud sound.

"Am I dreaming?" He asked.

"No, just keep whatever you saw a secret..." Jake said and smiled.

"When did this happen? Oh my God... Are you two boyfriends now?"

"We'll tell you everything later but yes, Eric's my boyfriend." Jake said.

"Eric?" Jerry said as he looked at me.

I just nodded. "Later okay..." I said and walked towards school beside Jake, like usual. Jerry was left behind us with his mouth hanging open.

We were near the steps towards the entrance when Jerry came and walked between us with his right arm over my shoulders and the other over Jake's shoulders. Jake and I looked at each other and grinned.

"So... I was right all along..." Jerry said.

We all laughed as we entered the school.

The End... (for real)

Last words...

I had some problems with the ending (As if you didn't notice the long gap from the last chapter, heheh). But as they say the end is just another beginning and so I finally managed to do it. I hope the open ending would signify that Eric and Jake have so much to look forward to and that true love will triumph in the end. The rest are just details. For all the patient readers out there, thanks for all your supporting emails. I would have never attempted this story if it weren't for your support. As I said, the end is just another beginning. I will be working on 'Living in a Box' next.

If you wanna talk about the Heartache series or anything at all just email me at fyiord@yahoo.com.

Again, thank you for all the support via your emails. I know I would never have completed the story without your belief in me.