All the warnings and disclaimers from my last stories are in effect:
The sensation of having his soul dragged from his journey to heaven and slammed back into his corpse was more excruciating than Xander could have ever anticipated. As he awoke on the cold street, he sat up and tried to scream. Unable to, he gasped for breath and choked on the blood in his throat. Retching on its foulness, he vomited up heaving gouts of it, but that was not enough. He was nearly driven insane by his inablitly to draw breath over the blood, but as he expelled an insane amount of it from his lungs, he looked over and saw Josh with a sad smile of victory on his face.
Anger flew through Xander's mind, but he was unable to act on it as another spasm wrenched his body, this one the worst. It felt as if a red hot poker was being thrust into his eyes, ears, mouth and all his senses as he writhed about in agony.
Struck blind, he endured as his eyes boiled away and broke in their sockets and gory fluid drained across and over his cheeks. His eardrums burst, and his nostrils burned, cracked and collapsed as the cartilage smoked away. His mouth convulsed, and as his canines elongated, they bit into his tongue and blood streamed from his mouth. He tasted the bounty of flesh and wanted more.
As soon as the agony came, it disappeared.
Xander opened his renewed eyes, and he saw every speck of dust and grime that permeated New York. As he inhaled, he caught scents of horror, love, and peace he never could have known before; and as he licked his lips, and tasted the blood on them, he was clenched wth a longing and thirst he didn't understand.
"Alex ... Alex ..." a voice asked softly.
Xander simply shook his head, immersed in horror.
"Look at me, Alex ... Xander!?" the same voice asked.
Xander found himself crouched in a fetal position against the wall with his arms covering his face, but as Josh's words reached him, he let his guard down and slowly looked up at him.
"Xander, are you ok ,,, and I know that's a loaded question," Josh asked.
Xander tried to speak, but he was bombarded by his newly heightened senses,
"Shit!" he heard Josh mumble, "I'm sorry, it shouldn't have happened this way."
Xander closed his eyes even more tightly and tried to ignore Josh's voice, but the more he tried, the more the input from the world intruded on his private thoughts. He heard the train from 48th Street, the sounds of an argument from a couple miles away, the failing heartbeat of a car crash victim on 90th and State. All the City had to offer overwhelmed and overcame him, and he began to cry.
"I'm here for you, Xander, I swear, what can I do to help?"
Xander was about to risk a response when he heard a screan next to him, a human scream.
Kait had woken up and had seen the state of not only Josh and Xander, both covered in copious amounts of blood, but also the gang members who are dead around them. Beyond herself with fear, her screams pierced the night.
Without warning, a sudden desire and longing in Xander came to life, and he blacked out with passion of it.
Mere moments later, Xander came back to himself. He felt normal. He stood and stretched as he enjoyed the night. He smiled and looked around, but only for a moment as he saw the look of horror on Josh's face.
"What?" Xander asked.
Josh motioned with his head, and Xander glanced down to see a broken and bloodied Kait at his feet.
Xander sank to his knees in grief, as his actions took hold in his mind.
"No ... no ... I COULDN'T HAVE!" he yelled.
Josh tried to be kind and said, "It happens to all of us ... our first time ... we can't control it."
Xander weeped bloody tears as he reached down and cradled Kait's bloodless body in his arms and screamed in anguish.
The ground rumbled and was rent as his grief shook the world.
Josh let Xander revel in his misery for a few moments before his head snapped up, sensing danger.
"We need to go, NOW!" Josh exclaimed.
"No, I can't, not now, not with what I've done,!" Xander protested.
"NOW!" Josh yelled, as he grabbed Xander's arm and pulled him out of the alley.
Xander, engulfed with his sins, yelled, "WHAT?! NO! Not without her!"
Josh struck Xander with all of his strength and knocked him unconscious.
As he carried Xander out of the alley, Josh muttered, "You'll thank me later ... not now, but soon ..."
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