Heart Breaking Love 7
Darren opened the door to his room for me. It was clean and tidy, at least, the floor was. The walls were covered with posters of movies, celebrities, bands, and books. If I took the time to study them all, Id never have to ask what his favorite movies were. He ran a hand through his brown hair and smiled sheepishly at me.
"So, you need help with your French homework?" I asked.
"Uh yeah..." He said dreamily. He kept looking at my face, but his eyes wandered down to my arms, where the sleeves of my jacket hid the scars. He stumbled over to his backpack and rummaged around till he found the packet Ms. Preston assigns to all her classes. He laid it carefully onto his desk and let me take a look.
"I don't get 'direct object pronouns'." He said, pointing to the heading of the packet's first page.
. . "So basically, they receive the action if the verb." Seeing his blank face, I continued. "So like... I love you. In French, that's... Je t'aime. Je is "I". Love is aime. But you is receiving the love. And when it's you, the direct object pronoun is "te". That goes in between je and aime. It loses the e and becomes T' because aime starts with a vowel."
"Ohhhh." He said. "You're a good teacher Aiden!" I spent the next hour trying to actually help him, and I did a fair job. Then he brought up a most uncomfortable subject.
"So. You tried to kill yourself." Darren said bluntly.
"Yep." I replied. I stood up and walked to his window and looked out at the setting sun. I sensed him come up behind me and wrap his arms around me. I didn't try to stop him. By this time, I sorta figured he liked me. I didn't want another boyfriend for good long while, but I did need a shoulder to cry on. And that's exactly what I did. I turned to Darren and let tears flow. Almost two months since Wade's break up with me, but I had been out one month and spent the other struggling to catch up with school. Not until this moment had I any time to completely get over it. And seeing Wade today made the wounds seem so much fresher. Darren let me cry on him, then guided me to his bed and let me lay my head in his lap while he gently stroked my hair.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" He asked quietly.
"I made a mistake. A huge mistake. When I was with... Wade. I tried to help my ex Beau get over some things. But he kissed me, and I kissed back. That's all we did! Then Wade surprised me and walked in on our kiss. Wade left me, Beau left me, then Sam left me cuz I hurt Wade. Then my parents started treating me like a carrier of the plague. I couldn't take it! I just wanted to end it all. So I tried..." I finished. I cried more. Darren just let me. But his silence was comforting. It didn't make me nervous at all. I sat up in bed and looked at him. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and hugged him. Darren sighed in contentment.
At my house later that night, I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling. My phone went off. I looked at the caller ID but didn't recognize the number. I answered.
"Hello?" I said sleepily.
"Hi Aiden. It's Beau."
"Beau?" Did I really want to talk to him? No. Yes. Damn, I didn't know!
"I heard you were back in school. Um, I've been back in Louisiana visiting my Aunt for the past month. But I'm coming back next week. So... I hope I'll see you?"
"Yeah." I said. "You will. At school."
"I wanted to talk to you though. In private. And in person" he added.
"Aright Beau. I'll see you next week. Bye bye."
"Au revoir, mon chère." The line went dead as he hung up. Somehow, I don't think I'm going to be getting out if this pit I've dug myself in anytime soon.
The week flew by, partially because I was anticipating the talk with Beau. I should hate him. It's HIS fault that Wade and I broke up. Isn't it? Sigh. It's my fault too... I should've resisted him. When I saw Beau Monday morning, he looked... different. Well, more like the Beau I first met than the drug addled one I left. He had bleached his hair blonde and now he had a lip ring. Is it possible he got even more sexy? I walked to him and caught his eye. He smiled. And despite myself, I gave a smile in return. Then Darren intercepted me and started talking extremely quickly.
"Darren!" I said loudly to get his attention.
"Yes?" He said smiling at me.
"Don't you need to be studying for the French test?"
"Oh.... Is that today?! Crap!" He scurried off. When I looked to see where he was going, it was evidently back with Sam and Wade. Both of them gave me a sharp look before walking away with Darren. When I finally got to Beau, he pulled me into a tight hug. God, he even smelled different. Definitely new body wash and he even started using Cologne.
I looked up to him and said, "You've changed Beau. You dyed your hair-"
"This is actually my natural color." He said.
"Really? Wow."
"I hope you're proud of me Aiden. I went into rehab and got myself together. When you... Went away, your mom came to my house screaming at me, blaming me for what you did."
"You know I tried to...?"
"Yeah. Your mom made that pretty clear. I felt so... Horrible. But I wanted to make myself clean, so you'd be proud. If you were dead, you'd see me a changed man. If you were alive..." He took my hand in his, "Maybe you could forgive me, and take me back." My head shot up and I stared at him.
"Beau. I still... I still love you. But, I'm not over, Wade. I can't be with anyone right now. I'm sorry." His eyes betrayed his feelings, I knew I broke his heart. Even so, he pulled me into another hug and whispered, "I understand." By lunch, Beau and I were in his car sucking face. After school, he drove us to the mall. I felt that old love again, coursing through my veins. Every time I looked at Beau, I felt my heart skip a beat. Screw Wade, I had Beau back! Wait, did I really mean that?
"Omigosh, Aiden!".I heard a squeal to my right. I looked over. Monica came rushing to me, a group of three other girls trailing behind. She embraced me tightly then looked at Beau's hand enclosed around mine. She gasped in delight.
"I always knew you guys would get back together!" She announced happily.
"Really? I thought you wanted me to go with Darren." I said jokingly.
"Me?! Never! Team Beau 100%!" She said.
"Well, Aiden is mine." Beau put his arm around my shoulder.
"No doubt about that! Oh, I gotta go, Luis is waiting in the parking lot and you know how inpatient he is!" She hugged both me and Beau, then scurried away with her friends. As we walked to the food court, I couldn't help but think the world was at peace. But of course that never lasts. As soon as I took the first bite out of the gyro sandwich I bought, Sam appears to my left and clears her throat. I swallow it quickly. She sat down without invitation and began speaking at once.
"You're barely back at school at you're already with Beau." She said, her holier than thou attitude poisoning her whole sentence.
"Why do you care Sam? We're not friends." I retorted.
"I care because it hurts Wade. All you do is hurt him Aiden!" She said with passion. Obviously she cared. About Wade.
"You're pathetic Sam. You spend all your time chasing and fussing over a gay guy. Why is that? Maybe because there's nobody stupid enough to actually date you. Have fun wishing you were with my sloppy seconds." I stood up and walked away. Beau caught up with me carrying trays of food.
He began laughing. "Ya shoulda seen the look in her face! She just stared open mouthed." I was too angry to revel in the moment, but I let Beau drape his arm around me and steal a kiss. He finished his food on an outside table. I lost my appetite. While I brooded over my unresolved issues with Wade I felt a pair of hands cover my eyes from behind. A soft voice attempting to sound gruff came from behind,
"Guess who or somebody gets cut."
I giggled.
"A lesbian who thinks she has a penis."
"Fuck you." Sydney, a girl I haven't seen in a while, sat next to me. She dressed like a man and wore men's Cologne. Beau looked questioningly at her.
"Beau, this is my friend Sydney. I met her last year when she was a senior. Now she goes to UCSD. Sydney, this my boyfriend, Beau."
She shook Beau's hand and smiled warmly. "Nice to meet cha."
"Likewise." He said smiling back.
"So, what'te doing here?" I asked Sydney.
"Lil Sammy wanted to hang out." She replied.
"Oh."
"How come you ain't hanging out with her?" She asked. I ended up telling Sydney everything that had happened, to give her a full view of why Sam and I are no longer friends. When I finished, she crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair.
"I'm gonna talk with Sammy." She said. "In the meantime, you enjoy that man of yours I gotta go kiddo." Sydney stood up and stretched. We embraced and she shook Beau's hand and walked away.
Beau drove me home and dropped me off. I was going to invite him in, but I saw my mother glaring at him from the front porch. I gave him quick kiss goodbye and went inside. I said hi to my mom, who mumbled something back. In my room, I completed my homework for the evening. As I lay in bed, ready to sleep, I thought about everything I had. All my choices good and bad. I thought about how things could have been different if Beau and I never met. My life probably would have been easier. What if Wade and I never went out? What if Sam and I stayed friends? Lots if what if's. I sighed, a mixture of sadness and tiredness. Then, I fell asleep.