Healing Old Wounds

By Ruben Cordova

Published on Nov 23, 2008

Gay

Disclaimer: This story and all characters are the property of the author, any similarities to actual people is completely coincidental. This story contains sexual acts between consenting males, all sexual acts include the use of condoms unless otherwise stated. If it is illegal for you to access this material, please leave the site. All questions, comments and criticism can be sent to my email: rubencordova83@gmail.com

~Reese's Point of View~

Even though laying there on the bed with KC felt so right, a part of me could not help but feel a bit panicked. Was this moving too fast? How exactly do I feel for KC? Sure, I knew I had wanted KC from the first time I laid eyes on him but was that love or lust at first sight? The last time I had messed around with a guy was back in high school with Jon. Jon, wow! I hadn't thought of Jon since junior year, right before he... before I killed him. Was this another `Jon situation' forming all over again? I started thinking back to the start of junior year, remembering the first time I had met Jon. Little by little, I drifted off into sleep dreaming about Jon.

~Dream~

I walked into the locker room after school to change into my running clothes so I could get in some cardio before my workout. Sure baseball season didn't start until the spring but I needed to keep myself in shape since that was the only sport I played. As I started changing, the football team came into the locker room and began getting changed for practice. I had just taken my shirt off when the coach came walking by with a new guy, handing him some gear and a sheet of paper then pointing him in my direction. He was obviously new to the school because I had never seen him before; he walked up next to me and set his gear down.

"Hi, I'm Jon. Would you mind scooting over just a bit so I can open my locker?"

"Sure thing, I'm Reese. Nice to meet you." I said as I extended my hand. A feeling like a jolt of static electricity passed between us. `What was that all about?' I thought.

I continued getting changed as Jon began to strip. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him taking quick glances while I peeled off the tank top I had on under my shirt. I'll admit Jon was quite handsome and I wasn't above checking him out a bit as well. I sat down on the small cement ledge that stuck out from underneath the lockers. I proceeded to slowly untie my shoes and peel off my socks while he pulled off his pants and boxers to replace them with a jock and his football pants. For some reason I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He was around six foot tall, green eyes and red hair that was in a military buzz cut style; yes he was really a red head, evident by the neat red bush surrounding his fleshy pink uncut cock. I just happened to look up quickly as he was pulling on his pants. He had obviously seen me checking him out; he gave a quick smile then pulled on his cleats, grabbed his practice jersey and pads and jogged out of the locker room. I finished dressing and as I was making my way up to the track, I kept thinking about the smile he had given me. Could he be... Nah. I mean he was somewhat cute, wait what am I saying? Cute? I shook those kinds of thoughts out of my head and focused on the task of getting ready for my workout.

To say that time flew by while I was running would be an understatement. Before I knew it, I heard someone calling my name, breaking me out of my daze and back into reality.

"Reese! Hey, football practice is over. Did you really run the whole time we were practicing?"

"Hey Jon. Yeah I guess I did, I must have been in the zone for me not to realize how long I've been out here. So, you're new here. Where did you transfer from?"

"New Mexico Military Institute in Roswell, my dad got laid off from his job and found one with a bit better pay in Albuquerque. So we sold our house and wanted to move to Albuquerque so my dad wouldn't have to make a big commute to work but houses and stuff are a bit cheaper out here, away from the main city." Explained Jon.

"Cool, so how you liking it here at Moriarty High so far?"

When I asked him that he gave me a quick look up and down before answering.

"I definitely can't complain but listen I gotta go get changed and head home before my dad gets there, it's my turn to make dinner."

"Ok but why doesn't your mom cook? Is her cooking that bad that you and your dad take turns?" I joked.

Jon's face suddenly turned a bit sour and it looked like he was on the verge of tears. Without saying anything he simply turned and walked off of the football field. From what I could see, it looked like he didn't even bother to head to the locker room to change. He just hopped in a car and left. After that, I made my way down to the locker room, showered, changed and headed home.

Over the next few weeks, Jon and I would hangout during lunch and after practice and I didn't bother to bring up the cooking thing again. About three times a week he would have to head home early and after a few months I had completely forgotten about it. Eventually football ended and Jon joined me in my workouts. We would still check each other out while we were changing but we never made a big deal out of it. One night Jon and I were up in his room playing some video games and eating pizza. His dad had to work late and it was the first time I had ever gone over to his house. He paused the game and turned to look at me.

"Remember back when you asked why my mom didn't do the cooking for us?"

"Yeah I think so, by the way where is she? She working late too?"

"Nah man, she left my dad and me when I was two. I don't even remember her but my dad said that she loved me. It's bullshit though, if you love someone you don't up and leave them." Explained Jon.

I put my arm around his shoulder and hugged him.

"I'm sorry dude."

"It's cool Reese, you didn't know."

As he leaned back from our hug I locked eyes with him and before I knew what I was doing I kissed him. He didn't pull back but instead he leaned into the kiss and slipped his tongue into my mouth. Instinctively my hand went down to his crotch and I could feel his bulge growing harder and hotter by the second. It was almost like my rational mind shut down and my primal side took over. I broke our kiss to kick off my shoes and pull my shirt off, once that was done I reached over and started unbuckling his belt as he was taking his shirt off. Once I had his belt undone and his zipper down I pushed his pants to his ankles as I attacked his mouth again.

I slipped my hand down the front of his boxers and gripped his cock, gently moving his foreskin up and down his cock head while he tried to get to my own package. Suddenly Jon broke our kiss again and stood up pulling me along with him. He stepped out of his pants completely and pulled off his boxers, in truth his cock wasn't all that large. Average thickness, slender, pointed up and to the right when he was fully hard and about six inches long. He walked over to his bedroom door and locked it, walking back to me with a somewhat mischievous smile. When he got back to me, he quickly helped me shed the last of my clothing and pushed me back onto his bed. Immediately he fell to his knees and began stroking my cock, he was so close to it that I could feel his breath on my shaft. For a moment he removed his hand and I could hear him spit then return to stroking me with his newly slicked up hand.

I had never felt someone else's hand on my cock, to say that it felt great would have been the understatement of the century. It was exquisite! My breathing was becoming quicker and I knew that if he kept up this pace that I would be coming any second. I reached down and grabbed him by the wrist to stop his stroking. I pulled him up so that we were eye level again and he attacked my mouth as soon as he could get to it. He climbed on top of me as we kissed, bringing our cocks together. Both of us were leaking precum heavily causing our cocks to slide against each other and sending wave after wave of intense pleasure through our bodies.

Jon's hands pulled and twisted my nipples, bringing me ever closer to coming. My hands found his ass and pulled him tighter against my body as we thrust against each other. Just as I was about to come I broke our kiss and pulled Jon's head against my shoulder, almost screaming in pain at the intensity of my orgasm. A few seconds later Jon bit down onto my shoulder as his orgasm hit, the pain of the bite barely registering in my brain. My balls unloaded shot after shot of hot, sticky cum onto Jon's crotch as his own load splashed across my abdomen and dribbled down my sides. As our orgasms subsided, Jon slid off me and sprawled out on the bed next to me, both of us laying there covered in sweat and cum. At that point, I realized that neither one of us had spoken during the entire encounter but I knew one of us had to say something before the lingering silence became too awkward.

"That was amazing, Jon. I've never cum that hard before or that much!"

"Then I guess I don't have to ask if it was as good for you as it was for me," said Jon, as he sat up on the bed causing our loads to slide further into his bush.

I turned my head and looked at him for a moment, the realization of what we just did hit me like a ton of bricks. I watched him get up and disappear out the bedroom door before returning a few seconds later having cleaned off our loads and carrying a towel for me. I took it from him and wiped myself clean; when that was done, I got up from the bed and started getting dressed. Jon walked over to me, put his arms around my waist, and kissed me again. Inside I was screaming at myself that this was nothing more than just two guys messing around together, but the happiness that he exuded from every pore of his body was something I couldn't take from him. I didn't want to hurt him by saying that I wasn't emotionally involved like I suspected he was becoming.

"I could get used to this you know... me and you." Jon sighed, as he laid his head against my chest. "I think I fell in love with you tonight Reese, actually I think I have been in love with you for a while now."

I honestly didn't know what to say. I couldn't tell him that I don't feel the same way for him. So instead of telling him how I felt and that this would never go past being a friendship, I simply kissed the top of his head.

"Jon, it's late. I really gotta get home but I'll see you tomorrow at school, right?"

"Of course you will."

He gave me another kiss and we broke apart so I could finish getting dressed. Driving home, I could not stop thinking about how quickly the whole situation had gotten out of control. I couldn't be gay! I just couldn't, my parents would freak! That night after I got out of the shower I laid down in bed but couldn't seem to get to sleep. My mind kept racing with thoughts of how tonight could have been avoided or how I could somehow get out of this mess. I cared for Jon as a friend but I couldn't love him. Somewhere around 4am, I finally passed out.

The next few months passed by at light speed as Jon and I continued to bring each other to orgasm on an almost daily basis. I even let him start blowing me but would never return the favor. In my mind, his cock in my mouth meant that I was gay and I just couldn't admit to that. Each time we had some kind of sex together I could see that he was falling deeper and deeper in love with me and I was beginning to become paranoid that someone would question us about spending so much time together.

That was exactly what happened, luckily though baseball was over and school was almost out. Some of my friends from the team started noticing how Jon would act around me and how he would look at me when we would talk. The day before school ended one of my friends came up to me after school and asked me about Jon.

"Hey Reese, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"What's up Mason?"

"I was just wondering about that guy you've been hanging around with. Jon, right?"

"Yeah, why do you ask?" I questioned.

"I know he's your friend and all and it might be nothing but some of the guys noticed him checking you out and shit."

Shit! My worst fear had come to life. Mason was close to figuring it out; I'm fucked if he puts two and two together.

"What do you mean? Like regular sizing up the competition or you think he's queer?"

"Like he would watch you change and he would have this fucking smirk on his face. You know, like he wanted your cock or some shit," He said with a disgusted look on his face.

Fuck! What was I gonna do? If I tried to play it off, then he would think I was ok with it; thereby making him think that I was a fag too. Shit! Shit! Shit! I happened to notice that Mason was looking at something behind me, so I turned to see what it was. He was looking at Jon who was making his way over to where I was. Shit! Fuck! Shit!

"Come on Reese; let's teach the little fag a lesson."

Fuck! I couldn't let Mason beat up Jon but I didn't want him to think that I was queer either. I realized that I was getting angry, not with Mason but at Jon. The fucker just couldn't keep himself under control! He just had to go and get himself caught and now there was no way for me to shrug this off without raising suspicion about myself. Just then, I had an idea.

"Wait a minute Mason; I want to take care of this myself. I got a plan. I'm going to take him into the bathroom and I want you to stand guard outside and if any body comes near, keep them out of here until I come back out."

Luckily, or rather in a stroke of bad luck for Jon, no one came anywhere near the bathroom that day. I walked up to him, my fists clenched. When he saw me, the smile dropped from his face and was replaced with a look of worry. I grabbed him by the collar and flung open the bathroom door; tossing him inside. Before he could even think, I threw a punch at his face while Mason watched as the door was closing.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" I yelled as he fell to the floor.

Jon could have easily hit me back but he was shocked that I, of all people, was the one that had hit him. I grabbed him again and dragged him into the stall farthest from the door.

"One of my friends fucking caught you checking me out! You stupid fuck! I told you that we needed to be careful but obviously you liked my dick so much that you didn't bother to listen to me."

"I'm sorry Reese."

"This is fucking beyond sorry now. You've nearly ruined my life because you couldn't keep your eyes off me while we were at school. God I could beat the shit out of you right now!"

"Please Reese, we can figure something out. I love you."

When he said that I backhanded him across the face.

"Shut the fuck up! Do you want Mason to hear you? Is that why you couldn't keep from staring at me? You love me. Well newsflash, I don't love you! I never have."

"What about that first night?"

"Think back Jon, when you told me you loved me that night. Did I say it back to you? No! I told you I had to get home. That should have been your first clue!"

"... but we kissed and you..."

This time I punched him in the stomach.

"Shut up I said! God you don't listen! No wonder we're in this mess!" I leaned in close to Jon and almost whispered to him. "I never loved you and I never will. You fucked everything up and now it's over. I don't ever want to see, hear or even think about you ever again. People can't think I'm gay and hanging around with you they just might start thinking that."

"...but..."

"But nothing Jon, we're done."

Even as the last word left my mouth and I turned to leave the bathroom, I regretted hurting him. I think... no, I know that deep down inside I did love him just as much as he loved me. He was just so reckless and he pissed me off so much that he had been caught. I didn't have a choice, at least that's what I would keep telling myself. The next day when I got to school, I saw Jon's dad and the principle at Jon's locker, his dad was taking his stuff out and putting it in a plastic bag. When Jon's dad looked up at me, I could tell he'd been crying. He got up, grabbed an envelope out of his back pocket, and walked over to me.

"Reese... Jon's... he killed himself last night. He wrote me a note saying that he was gay, that he had done something wrong, and that this was the only way he knew how to fix it. Do you know what he was talking about?"

I couldn't speak so I just nodded my head no. Jon's dad handed me the envelope.

"He left this for you, I didn't read it. What ever is in it is... was between you and him."

Jon's dad left the school and immediately I felt sick to my stomach. What had I done? I rushed to the bathroom and made it just in time to throw up what I had eaten for breakfast. I flushed the toilet, closed the lid and sat down to open the envelope.

Reese,

I understand why you got mad and why you did what you did. I can't say that I wouldn't have done the same thing if our roles were reversed. When you read this, I'll have already hung myself from the tree in my backyard. I hate to leave my dad by himself but I have to do this for you. To take attention away from how badly I fucked up. I don't blame you so before you go blaming yourself for this; I forgive you. You didn't do anything. I love you, I always have and I always will.

Jon

I had to throw up again after reading the letter. How could he still say that he loved me after what I did to him? Since I had no finals that day I really didn't need to be at school. I went to the nurse's office and told her that I had just found out that, my friend had killed himself and that I needed to get home. She called my mom and got her permission to let me out of school but that she didn't want me driving. When she got there she said that when dad got home she would drive back to pick up my car.

When we got home mom asked me what had happened, so I told her about Jon but not about the letter or us. I cried harder than I ever have before and through it all, my mom just held me. She took my upstairs to my room and told me to get some rest; I fell asleep until my dad got home that night. I got up and stood at the top of the staircase listening to him and my mom talk.

"God, I can't imagine what that poor boy's father must be going through." My mom said as she sipped her cup of coffee.

"I know dear, to find out that your boy is gay and then to have him kill himself. I don't think I could take it."

When I heard my father speak, I knew right then that I couldn't ever tell my parents that I thought I was gay. A few days later, we went to Jon's funeral. By that time, I couldn't cry anymore so I just stood there while they lowered his casket into the grave. That night I dreamt that there were two of me and that I put one of my selves into a casket similar to Jon's and buried myself next to him in the grave. The `me' in the casket was yelling and pleading to be let out; but that couldn't happen. Just as I was covering the casket with dirt, Jon's casket blew open and he sat up looking at me.

"I love you."

~End of Dream~

I sat up in bed and looked at KC lying next to me, remembering every moment of the dream that was really a flashback of my past. For a split second I saw Jon instead of KC, I slowly got out of bed and got dressed. I grabbed some clothes and stuffed them into my backpack, just enough to spend a few days at home. If I was going to give in to my feelings for KC then I had to come out to my parents.

...

This chapter gave us an insight into Reese's past. Love it, Hate it? Let me know! I always appreciate some feedback and another thank you to my editor Michael. I took one of the ideas you gave me and put a bit of a spin on it. This is the last chapter that I'll post until sometime around the middle of January.


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