I was in my early fifties and a widower for just over a year. Having a great marriage and family, I was able to suppress my physical attraction towards men fairly well. But it was always there. I had made a conscious decision in my late teens that I wanted a straight life, no matter how strong my, what I now know was, gay feelings. It wasn't easy to suppress, as anyone that is gay or even bi-sexual knows.
Feeling depressed and lonely, I began masturbating thinking about young men again. I began to feel horny all the time, but I was no longer interested sexually in women at all. One night I went to one of the Indian Casinos in CT. I couldn't concentrate so I left and just went driving around. The sexual tension was driving me nuts. I was near Groton and I saw this XXX Book/Video store. I parked the car and was very nervous about going in. After sitting in my car for what seemed like an hour, although only five minutes, I finally went in. I noticed that there were viewing booths in the back of the store, so I bought five dollars in tokens.
I went in the back which was very dark. The aisle was U shaped with booths all around the corridor. There were a few men walking slowly around.or standing against the wall. One of them, I noticed, was massaging his cock through his jeans. That got my own cock stirring.
I went into a booth and watched a couple of gay flicks and got a raging boner. I went in and out of a couple of more booths. At one point and older guy like myself opened the door and wanted to come in with me but I wouldn't let him. I was beginning to feel guilty about being there so I got up and left the booth intending to leave the store.
As soon as I headed towards the door to the booth viewing area a very handsome young man came through the door and we locked eyes. or was it my imagination? So I thought. I walked back in, turned around to look at him again and went back into a booth. I was shaking like a leaf because this young man excited me so. In my wildest dreams I never really thought he would follow me in. But to my pleasant surprise the door opened. I had put some money in the video and a gay film was showing. He quickly and confidently came in shut the door, pressed his hot body to mine, wrapped his arms around me and kissed me like I have never in my life been kissed. No woman had ever made me feel so ecstatic.
He pressed his groin into mine, and opened his mouth and moved his tongue to open my lips. His tongue danced with my tongue causing my cock to bursting with the best feelings that I have ever had. he groped me and I groped him I felt his long hard cock through his jeans. I was in heaven just feeling his body next to mine. he had a very sexy thin mustache and I licked it with my tongue,sending explosive feeling of joy throughout my body. He unzipped my pants and took out my hard cock. Both of us are well endowed, but mine is bigger. He felt my cock in his hands and stroked me a bit. I was mesmerized by all of this but I was still nervous and guilt ridden. He looked at my cock, and grinned, lifting one eyebrow in satisfaction as to what he saw. He asked me if he could suck me. I was too nervous and told him so. I told him I wasn't comfortable there. he then asked me to come to his apartment, so I agreed. I followed his truck for about fifteen minutes over the bridge with so many mixed emotions. Ever since a little boy of eight years old I had wanted to be with another boy or man and now it was happening.
When we got to his apartment we walked up the stairs and I then realized how young he was and how handsome he was. I was six feet tall, two hundred and twenty pounds, salt and pepper hair and balding. He was twenty three years old five feet nine, one hundred and fifty pounds. He had thick brown hair, light smooth complexion and a wonderful smile.
He closed the door and turned around and kissed me again, never wanting to let go and neither did I. We didn't know where to put our hands first, the feeling were so intense. He took off my shirt and I took his off. Then he began to kiss my nipples and down to my navel I opened my belt and he unzipped my pants dropping them to the floor. He got on his knees and felt the outline of my hard throbbing cock, through my briefs, with his mouth. I grabbed the back of his head and was rocking back and forth towards his mouth. He then pulled down my briefs letting out my eight and a half inch long by six inch around uncut cock. He looked up into my eyes, ( I can still see that look today) smiled,and took my cock into his mouth. I was elevated to a new dimension in my life. Years and years of suppression were now unleashed. He sucked me for a short while, I was ready to explode. I told himthat I was about to cum, expecting him to stop, but he didn't. He looked up into my eyes again this time with my cock in his mouth. There was a longing in his eyes telling me, for some unexplainable reason, that he wanted me as much as I wanted him. My cock could take no more so I shot my load into his wanting mouth. To say that it was the one of the best orgasms that i ever had would be an understatement.
He stood up and I undressed him. I loved the look of his cock. It was cut, around seven and a half inches long thick like mine but a lighter smooth skin. Thinking of it now has my own cock throbbing again. I was not into sucking and he understood so I stroked him and felt his wonderful balls. He took me over to his couch sat me down, we were now both naked, and sat on my lap, putting one arm around my neck and the other on my left shoulder. he then brought his wonderful full lips to mine and we kissed again. we got so hot into our kissing that our mouth were opened so wide as if we want to swallow each other. I caressed his shoulders, his back, his thighs and of course stroked his cock and caressed his balls. I stroked him until he shot his load all over my chest and stomach. We pressed our bodies together and stayed there for forty five minutes.
It was now around one o'clock in the morning and I had over an hours ride back to my home. I needed to leave but I didn't want to and he didn't want me to either. He gave me his phone number and we agreed to meet again in four days. This was the beginning of many, many more discreet meetings that lasted for almost four years. To this day I miss him, the second love of my life.