By the time the bus pulled into the depot the sun had begun its long descent down to the horizon. Licks of golden light burst from behind the black silhouettes cast by the trees. I scraped the toes of my new sneakers on the macadam beneath me.
"Well, I guess that's us." my mother buzzed nervously as she began gathering my luggage. My dad rose from the bench we were sitting on and took over.
The silver greyhound bus that idled in front of me looked like something out of a 1950's movie. At any moment I was expecting a bunch of sailors clad in white to jump through the door and sweep their anxiously awaiting gals into their arms-- Naturally though this was not the case. The doors slid open but no one exited. Who would have wanted to visit our little burg anyhow? The driver looked out at us, stared for a moment, and then looked at his watch.
I turned to my mom and gave her a big hug. She started to cry and I tried not to look.
"Promise that you'll call me as soon you get there." she said quietly.
"I promise," I replied, "maybe even before then."
She kissed me on the cheek before stepping backwards.
My father looked me in the eyes with a strong face before lifting his arms for a hug.
"You be good." he whispered in my ear. I nodded.
He patted me on the back one final time before releasing me from his mighty grasp. I was never very good at reading is emotions-- he kept them hidden beneath a thick layer detachment-- but I thought that for just a second I saw a sliver of pride slip past the facade.
Early that morning in the darkness allotted by a new moon my pops drove me to Justin's house. We sat in his truck surrounded by absolute silence, being disturbed only by the sounds of our own nervous breathing. I looked into the darkness in what I thought was his general direction.
"I'll see you in a few minutes." I mumbled.
"Be fast." was his only response.
It seemed ridiculous that we felt the need to be so quiet. Both of us knew that no one was home and the closest neighbor was a half mile down the road. Yet still the concept that what we were about to do was illegal left us on edge. I slid out of the truck and into the silky black of the night. The walk from the road to the garage door that taken by day seemed to take less than a minute, instead felt like a marathon. I flipped the key over in my fingers again and again.
The crisp stars were the only ones who watched as I ran my hand down the old metal door and lifted it quickly. Inside, the air inside smelled of decay. I knew this place well but that night felt like a foreigner navigating around the jacks and table saws that resided there.
I slid my hand along the side of the truck until my fingers touched the cool handle. With a gentle tug the door swung open. The overhead light of the truck came on and bathed the entire garage in its glow. Shocked by the obvious flaw in my stealth plan, I jumped into the front seat and slammed the door shut. The interior of the truck smelled of motor oil and faded cigarette smoke^×kind of like Justin.
The key was burning a hole in my palm. I reached forward and pushed it into the ignition. Smoothly it slid past the pins and found its place buried deeply into the lock. I held my breath as I twisted it forward. A loud whine broke the stillness of the morning air as the engine jumped to attention. I couldn't believe it-- the beast was alive at last! It groaned and vibrated in anticipation to be set free. Without much thought I complied.
The gears clanked loudly as I shifted it into drive. My heart thumped in my chest with excitement. I couldn't believe he had finished it. The truck lurched over the lip of the garage entrance and into the night.
My head bounced against the plexi-glass window as the bus hit a rough patch of road. It was late afternoon and setting sun illuminated the world in a golden hue. I had never been so far away from home but oddly everything still looked the same. I could have easily been dropped in any one of the cookie-cookie cutter towns that we sped through and would have felt right at home. The white washed store fronts, the ancient looking stoplights, and the surrounding fields of corn and soybean were all there to remind me of what I was leaving behind.
So much was going to be different in Boston. I was going to be a Midwestern boy lost in the hustle and bustle of a New England city. I'd be the newbie-- something I had never been before in my life. There was something about the idea of starting over that was both appealing and frightening. I would have no history to define me, but at the same time no clear grasp of a future. I shifted positions in my seat and watch as the red barns and barren expanses rolled on and on.
The day before Ryan had shown up at my house just before noon. I greeted him at the door in an unusually somber mood but there was something about him that lifted my spirits.
"Let's go for a walk." he said with a grin.
The grass in the gully beside the road was a vibrant spring green because of all rain we had gotten. The world was bright and teaming with life. Wooly Bear caterpillars charged across the road in search of a place to spend the winter, and chipmunks dashed madly through the underbrush gathering supplies for their winter caches. Above us, a lone goose flew overhead squawking wildly for his comrades to slow down.
I kicked at the stray stones that dotted the road. Every other thought was about leaving home. I wanted to leave-- I needed to leave-- but I was so afraid. That place was all I had ever known. All of my memories lived there amongst the dying stalks of corn and rich black earth. To just up and leave everything that was familiar felt like treason. On what should have been a day full of excitement and anticipation I could barely find the willpower to have breakfast.
As we walked Ryan put his arm around my shoulder and presented me with a small blue box.
"For me?" I asked in a high pitched voice.
"No dumb ass," he said as I opened it, "for Em."
Nestled inside delicate mounds of creamy velvet sat a small gold ring bearing a single diamond.
"No fucking way!" I yelled as I shoved him away.
"Yes fucking way!" he shouted back smiling.
I looked again at the quaint symbol of Ryan's love and couldn't help but be warmed by its purity. I gently closed the box and through my arms around him. How cool!
"I wanted to see what you thought before you left. I think I am going to ask her during the fireworks at the harvest festival." he suddenly became very bashful and boyish.
"Ry, that is awesome. I am so happy for you!" I felt happy tears beginning to form in my eyes but succeeded in stopping them in their tracks, "And to do it at the Harvest festival is an awesome idea! You should tell my Dad and I am sure he can help you plan something really special."
He was very quiet for a second, "What do you think she'll say?"
"Oh god, did you seriously just ask that? She'll say yes without batting an eye!" I said playfully.
He looked at me and smiled, "Thanks."
"Thanks for what? I am so glad you told me first," I explained, "I'll be sure to extend the same courtesy to you before I get hitched."
We both laughed.
The bus was quiet. I sat in the far back where there were only a few people-- conversation seemed like a needless element of my journey. Outside the darkened world flew past, spotted every few miles by the twinkling lights of a distant town. I placed my hand on the seat beside me and thought about Kyle. It had always been our plan to travel across the country together, but here I was doing it all alone. I missed him so much it hurt. I wanted to tell him that I loved him; to hold him tight and never let go again.
I looked around the bus at all the sleeping travelers and wondered if they also longed to be with someone far away. The engine hummed a quiet melody as we coursed through the night, some of us embarking on an adventure and others at long last returning home. I wondered what Kyle fell asleep to at night; if maybe he looked up at the stars and thought of me. I couldn't help but smile at that thought. I closed my eyes and began to count as the seconds-- as each one passed we were closer to being together once more.