All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. This is a work of fiction containing explicit sex and graphic language. If you are offended by such, underage, or live in a state or territory where literature of this nature is unlawful, please exit now and read no farther....R.C.
"HALF PAST SUNSET, AN HOUR BEFORE DAWN"
by
Ritch Christopher
Chapter Nine
I arrived at Del's apartment at 7:00 PM in plenty of time for Del, Eric, and me to pick up Carla, Charlene, and Johnny by 8:00 PM. Del met me at the door, and knowing that I did not drink, he had fixed me an assortment of fruit drinks with seltzer to choose from. He and Eric, on the other hand, had already downed half a pitcher of margueritas before I got there. Both of them had a slight buzz on, but not enough to be tipsy. It was quite obvious to someone who had just joined their company that there was a definite tension between the two brothers. Either they had had an argument earlier, or they were just about to get involved in one. The room was filled with the kind of electricity you encounter when you try to connect two anodes together. The sparks were about to fly due to opposite polarization. I assumed Carla had caused this friction somehow, even though neither of them had seen her since the night before.
Eric was dressed in a nutmeg silk suit with matching shirt...no tie. Del had donned similar attire in dark blue, straight from the Versace Fall line. My outfit looked like the best that The Gap had to offer, but I was in solid black...black slacks, shirt, and a black jacket that didn't exactly match the pants material. Again, I felt inferior but I presumed where we were going would be darkly lit, so it wouldn't matter that much.
Eric was the first to invite me to join their conversation. Since I didn't known what had been foresaid, I was reluctant at first until I felt the gist of the mood.
"Chris," Eric began, "not that it really matters, but what is your opinion of my going out with Carla tonight. Del seems to have some reservations about my proposed date."
"I'm not here to take sides, Eric, but the way I look at it, you're over twenty-one, you're in New York...away from home, and there's no one here to judge you or mar your reputation." I said, knowing I had just plucked a nerve of Del's.
"Exactly! Thank you, Chris. Tis a pity my brother and you don't see eye-to-eye."
"Eric, I told you that I don't disparage you about your infidelity," Del said, "Hell, if I were married to your wife, I'd've stepped out on her long before this. I wouldn't question your choice of a date, if she were one-hundred percent genuine female!" Del blurted out.
"I would be willing to bet that Carla knows more about pleasing a man than any woman you or I have ever known." Eric retorted.
"I can't speak from experience as I've never been to bed with a real woman." Del said.
"Jesus! Not once?" Eric asked.
"Not once." Del said, downing his marguerita.
"Chris, you're a schoolteacher with a college degree or two, I would imagine. Can you venture an educated guess why two brothers, raised together like twins, can grow up with completely opposite sexual preferences?" Eric asked, putting me on the spot, as he seemed to have a habit of doing.
"I'm afraid there's not just one answer to that, Eric. For centuries, everyone has believed it was a matter of sexual preference, as you said, but the latest theory says that we don't choose to prefer one over the other. It's in-born. It's like two kids growing up side by side; one likes liver and spinach while it makes the other brother sick. If you don't mind my being forward, I don't see there's too much difference in you two tonight. I mean when you get right down to it, you're both going out with males. They're just wrapped in different packages, but once you take off the ribbon and pretty picture and open up the box, you're gonna find the same surprise."
"Chris is right, Eric, no matter how much you try to pretend or fool yourself, you're in for a night of dick...not pussy...not cunt...but good old-fashioned rock solid cock!" Del was getting high-strung again."Tell me, bro, did you eat out Carla's cunt or did you suck her dick?"
"Neither!" Eric replied.
"Well, you're in for the surprise of your life tonight, if you take her to bed. No matter how many numbers of Chanel she sprays on it, it still gonna look like a cock...not a cunt!!"
"Goddamn, Del! Why are you on such a high horse? I'm not being unfaithful to you. It's not like you and I were gay lovers or anything!"
"No, I'm just thinking about the times I wanted you and wanted to have sex with you when we were in our teens...BUT NO!!...You preferred going down to the Sorin's farm and getting all hot and bothered while you fingered Susan Sorin's pussy. Then you would come home horny as a toad and I was there in bed, waiting to satisfy you any way that I could or in any manner you wished to get off...and you'd refuse by saying. 'NO! Bro, I've changed! What we did was kid stuff. I've outgrown that now. I want the real thing...I like vaginas now!'"
"Del, I think you'd better go a bit slower on that tequila. You're embarrassing yourself now, in front of Chris. I think you're gonna be sorry tomorrow when you realize the things you just said."
Eric was right. Del was revealing things I'd rather not have heard. It was too conspicuous for me to ask to be excused to go pee, but I didn't want to be where I was at the moment.
"Del," Eric continued, "just for tonight, will you be genteel and let me have a little fun. I'm asking you to please not insult Carla, no matter how you might feel about her. Can't the six of us just go out and have a good time?"
"I'm sorry, Eric," Del said, after a moment. "I don't know why I'm acting like such a horse's ass. It's your first trip anywhere and I seem to be ruining it for you."
I interrupted by saying, "God, I'm so glad you said that. Would it be all right if I go pee now? I've been sitting here pushing my bladder down so it wouldn't look like I was trying to get away from a hostile situation."
"You didn't have a brother, did you?" Eric asked me.
"No."
"If you had, you'd know that all this "carrying on" between Del and me was nothing more than brother talk. Neither of us was angry. It's just in the Swedish blood, we all try to talk at the same time and to make sure everyone hears us, we just talk louder and stronger."
"Whew! Thank God," I said, "I was worried I was going to have to listen to this banter all evening, not to mention that it could be compounded by Charlene's choice remarks."
"Put your fucking Xanax away and go pee." Del said, laughing.
No matter what the two of them had said to convince me otherwise, I was NOT looking forward to this evening. I went into the bathroom to relieve myself and suddenly a thought occurred to me. Suppose I had the great virus, are there any precautions I should take in using someone else's bathroom? What if I were to splash unseen urine on the toilet seat or lid, wasn't this a body fluid? Damn! There were so many rules that didn't used to be rules but WERE rules now.
For over ten years, gays were told that the only way to get infected was by tainted blood transfusions or anal and vaginal sex. Go ahead and give blow jobs to your heart's content...it was safe to have oral sex. Then suddenly, midstream, they put the quietus on that! We were told that if we had a sore in our mouth and the person whom you were giving head to was infected, you could get infected, too. Then they narrowed it even further. We were told that if you had tiny abrasions on your gums, caused by your toothbrush, you were equally endangered. Next, it wasn't only semen, it also included preseminal fluid. It also worked in reverse. I was told that if I had the virus, the person I was going down on could get it because the glans was porous like a sponge...it could absorb the saliva which was also a transmitter. That also meant French kissing was now taboo. A report was released by some medical research lab stating that the virus had been found in tiny traces of perspiration. There's always been an argument whether mosquitos could carry the germ...some say 'yes', some 'no'. I used to think the only safe sex would be to totally wrap yourself in Saran Wrap from head to toe or have you and your partner get into adjoining glass booths and watch each other jerk off. All these theories existed before I received my letter from the HD, but now they all flashed before my eyes like a huge warning signal. Shit, it's not even safe for two kids to mutually masturbate anymore, if one of them has a cut on his finger!! The best bet? Total abstinence! But then why was there such a huge percentage of HIV cases among priests and monks? Somebody's cheating! Well, now that I had completely talked myself into a state of anxiety and depression, I took a wet cloth and wiped the toilet, flushed it, and returned to join Del and Eric for more fun verbal games.
"What took you so long?" Del asked. "What'd you have to do, jerk off?"
"Yeah, that's what I always do in tense situations. I feel much better now." I joked.
"Well, is everyone ready to go?" Eric asked.
"Ready and able," I said, "but I hold off from being willing."
Would you believe it? They had hired a "stretch" for the entire evening. Charlene would die and go to heaven!! When we parked outside her apartment, she came out to the limo and asked, "Is this car just for the immediate family or do the mourners have to follow when the hearse arrives?" She had already started. Maybe I should've taken a Xanax. I was willing to bet that my long run of sobriety would be coming to an end before the evening was over. I didn't know a kamikaze from a zombie, but I probably would soon learn the difference.
Johnny looked as if he and I had bought out clothes at the same sale. I felt more at ease when I saw his garb. Carla was the epitome of lady-like loveliness, dressed in a light blue linen sheath with a brocaded overlay, stretching down to her mid-calf. My dear sweet Charlene had outdone herself, she looked like a hooker from Catfish Row in a Harlem amateur production of "Porgy and Bess". Her clothes were expensive, they just looked terribly cheap, as she wore a red satin skirt split up the left side to the waist. a black lacy see-through blouse with matching stole, five inch heels with black fish net stockings. I didn't care if she was one of my best friends, she looked like a bad caricature of herself. Even Johnny seemed ashamed or her. Del was still convinced it was a bad idea to invite her, but Eric, on the other hand seemed to get a big kick out of her, as though he were giving her enough rope...
"How are you this evening, ladies?" Eric asked, smiling pleasantly.
"Fine, thank you," replied Carla.
"My, you DO have charm," Charlene replied,imitating Belle Wattling from "GWTW". "Did you say you're from SOUTHERN Wisconsin? You have a little old plantation for growing milkweed?"
"Charlene," Johnny interrupted her, "Milk comes from cows. It's not grown like grass!"
"I know that, silly! Can't a girl crack a little joke? I was going to correct myself, Johnny, before I confused you because I know you still believe that milk comes from jerking off bulls. My! My! Wouldn't that be a handy dandy job?...Pardon the pun!"
"Every time we go out together in public, I feel as if I should carry a supply of earplugs to pass out to people when you start acting like this," Johnny added.
"Who's acting, dahling? I won my Oscar and Tony, years ago. I gave back my Emmy because I didn't want a cunt around the house!"
"Well, is it still the plan to go to the Hat Box?" Eric asked.
"Later, Daddy," Charlene said, "Let's check out a few other places first!"
"I'm game." Eric said, "Where to first?"
"I know a great little club called, 'SNAKE IN THE grASS'!" she replied, "I suppose the chauffeur's name is Jeeves? No, that would be asking TOO much!"
Eric laughed, "No, but his name IS Jim. Close enough?"
"Jim always used to send me pretty flowers...Oh Jim..." Charlene began to sing. Then she stopped long enough to give Jim directions to the club.
Damn, this was a club I'd never heard of, so I didn't know what to expect or how to prepare myself...or the other members of the party. "SNAKE IN THE grASS" was on a lower street between East Third and Second. I must admit I was pleasantly surprised. It was a jazz club with an alto sax player that could wail all the way to Battery Park. The club was extremely dark with blue lights on the wall with silhouetted black art deco figures. Even the lamps on the tiny round tables were blue. A table for six was only eighteen inches in diameter. What appeared to be a dump from the exterior, proved to be extremely nice inside. It was so damned dark I couldn't really tell if the place was gay, straight, or both. Knowing Charlene's taste in entertainment, I could only assume it was definitely gay all the way.
A very attractive young man came to take our order. Fortunately, Eric and Del stuck with tequila, their chosen weapon. The 'girls' ordered champagne, Johnny, a beer, and I had club soda with a twist of lime. This place looked safe enough for me not to have to resort to potent potables which I detested. As a kid, I'd seen my father get drunk quite often and beat my mother to a pulp. Later on, after he died, my mother became a total "alchy" and drank herself into an early grave. Growing up in this atmosphere, I'd sworn off drink before I ever began. After we'd ordered, Charlene and Carla went to the ladies room (I presumed). I couldn't imagine either of them going to the men's room dressed as they were. Five minutes later, Charlene returned alone. Carla was not with her.
"Is everything all right with Carla," Eric asked, concerned.
"She's fine, dear. I think she wanted to re-glue her falsies or something." Charlene retorted.
"Re-glue her falsies?" Del asked, amazed.
"Eyelashes, darling, eyelashes! Good grief! Don't you ever get smothered in that closet you live in?" Charlene snapped at Del. "Chris said you looked divine when he put a pair of them on you."
"Jesus! Word sure gets around, doesn't it?" Del said, drinking a huge gulp of tequila.
"Don't worry, love, your 'fortpolio' is safe with me." She remarked.
"Portfolio, Charlene, not 'fortpolio'," Johnny corrected her.
"Sorry...oh yes, 'fortpolio' is that crippling disease! I get confused sometimes!"
"Ditsy's more like it," Johnny retorted.
Another ten minutes passed and Carla still hadn't returned from the ladies room. Even I imagined the worse. Had she left Eric and slipped away unnoticed in the darkness? The seven piece combo was just finishing, "There's a Boat That's Leaving Soon." The saxophonist took a bow and grabbed the mike.
"Ladies and gentlemen," the sax player announced. "we have a special treat tonight. We have a very special talent here, tonight. I've known this young lady for a number of years, and believe me when I tell you, there's no one that can put the 'B' in a blues song the way she can. So put your hands together and welcome a very special guest, Miss Carla Sinclair!" There was scattered polite applause all over the club.
Goddamn! Where was the waiter? I decided maybe I needed a drink after all. A solo pin spot lite illuminated Carla's head. To be honest, she looked fantastic! The band started playing a live intro. There was no tape or recording, so how was she going to pantomime a singer? Carla raised the mike to her lips and began to sing, "Some day he'll come along, the man I love..." Her voice was a mixture of Julie London and Judy Garland. This was no fake! This was the real thing! Carla was actually singing with her real voice. There was nothing noticeable about her being a male. She was singing in the female register as Jim Bailey did. Carla wasn't good, she was great! I became entranced. She was looking in the direction of Eric and he was sitting there in the dark with ga-ga eyes. Every word she sang was meant for him. He couldn't have been more thrilled if she had been Streisand. Del was so much in awe, he stopped drinking and locked his gaze on her. Charlene had taken her compact out of her purse and pretended to fix her face except it was so damned dark she couldn't ever see the mirror, much less, her face in it. Charlene had this look on her face like, "Didn't you know she could sing? I thought EVERYONE knew that, you dummies!" Johnny seemed as enthralled as I over Carla's talent.
Carla finished the chorus and the sax player went back to the beginning of the song and kept it going for sixteen bars. During this musical interlude, Carla brought the mike with her to our table and she stood approximately two feet in front of Eric and picked up the song at the bridge, "Maybe I will meet him someday..." If I hadn't known better, I would swear Eric was falling in love with Carla by the way he responded to her. The song ended by repeating the last four bars which gave Carla a chance to move close to Eric's mouth with her lips as she slowly sang the final, "the man...I...love." With that, she eased in and kissed him. The crowd went wild...clapping, cheering, whistling...She was a hit, in more ways than one! I was convinced now that every patron in the room was male...with male dates. They began crying for more.
Carla appeared to be encouraged, but accepted the kudos as if she always got them whenever she performed. She walked back to the band, said a few words to the leader, turned quickly and belted a medium tempo version of "Sing, You Sinners". This brought the gay crowd to its feet. They began clapping, keeping time with the beat, which prompted Carla to segue into "Clap Yo Hands!". Damn! I didn't want to go anywhere else for the rest of the evening. I wanted to stay and listen to Carla all night, if possible. I sat there wishing I had a tape recorder. I would love to have a CD called, "Carla at the Snake". I could play it all night long. Hell, I'd never dated a tranny before, but after Eric went back to Wisconsin, I might be tempted. I wouldn't want her to have sex with, I'd pay her just to sing to me in bed.
Carla sang a thirty minute set before the crowd would let her return back to the table with us. I kept an eye peeled on Del to see if his emotions changed during the performance. Halfway through "The Way We Were", I grabbed Del's hand to hold. Two or three times I squeezed his hand to prompt a response from him, but he almost seemed annoyed that I was holding his hand. Carla was doing a number for Eric, but she was doing a different kind of number on Del. Del appeared to be getting angry with jealousy. I wondered if he had stronger feelings for his brother than anyone realized, including himself.
"I guess you guys didn't know that Carla could sing as well as I." Charlene said.
"Shit, Charlene," Johnny said, cutting her off, "give the girl some credit. If she sang like you do, the whole place would've emptied out with everyone thinking someone had set off an air-raid siren."
"Did you like me?" Carla asked Eric.
"Little girl, you were wonderful!" Eric replied.
"I think I'm gonna be sick!" Del said, "I need some air." He got out and stumbled through the dark room toward the door.
"I'd better go with him to make sure he's all right." I said, following him.
The night air had turned brisk and cooler.
"You got a cigarette?" Del asked, once we were outside.
"Sure." I said, offering him a Marlboro. "What's wrong, babe? Why are you so upset?"
"Do you believe the way Eric is behaving? Did you hear what he said just now, calling Carla, 'Little Girl'?"
"Oh, come on, Del, let Eric have his fun! He's only going to be in New York a few days. He deserves to have a good time if Francine treats him as badly as you say."
"But Eric is straight!" Del said, with his voice quivering.
"So what? Maybe he wants to cross back over the river."
"You don't understand, Chris. When Eric and I were growing up, I loved him more than anyone else in the world. I never dated. I saved myself for him. I never made any demands but I swear, I would've taken a spoon and eaten the shit out of his ass if he had asked me! But he didn't. He outgrew me when we became seniors in high school. He no longer wanted me, or male sex at all. He was all I had. There were no other guys in my life...certainly no girls!"
"Yeah, Del, but you two were brothers, not lovers. Did you think you could spend the rest of your life with him?"
"I would've, if he had let me."
"Damn, I've been trying to walk a thin narrow line being faithful to you. I never dreamed that my chief competition in our arrangement would be your own brother!"
"I guess it sounds sick to you." he said.
"No, it sounds strange. It's difficult for me to understand, primarily because I was an only child. I never had a brother to do things with. Believe me, I'm trying to rationalize how you feel. Do you think he has any idea about the way you feel?"
"God, no! I wanted to tell him years ago, but I thought the idea might repulse him, in spite of all the sex we had when we were kids."
"One thing is becoming abundantly clear to me."
"What's that?"
"I know that I could never be a substitute for him, even if he left tomorrow. Your feelings for him are too deep. I don't stand a chance."
"I'm sorry, Chris, I think things would've worked out between us eventually...only if that son-of-a-bitch hadn't come to New York and fallen for a goddamned transvestite!"
"Jesus, Del, if you both had stayed in Wisconsin, you would've had Francine or some other female to contend with. Maybe you ought to be grateful to Carla for opening up his feelings. I don't know how much you know about what happened between them last night. I don't know what all he told you this afternoon... I don't want to hurt your feelings, but Charlene filled me in on a few things that Carla told her...and...Carla played the male role in their sex last night."
"What do you mean?"
"I know this is gonna make you mad as hell at me...and Charlene...AND Carla, but Eric performed oral sex on Carla...then he asked her to fuck him!"
"You're lying!!!" Del said, shooting daggers from his eyes at me.
"You're new to the gay scene, Del. You think just because a guy dresses up like a woman, he plays the same role in the bedroom...But that's not so! That's why I don't date trannies. Most of them are tops. I'm a top usually and there's something in my male genes that keeps me from being fucked in the ass by someone who looks and acts like a woman! Take away the glamour and glitter and they're very 'butch' when they're naked."
"Goddamn! I guess I have a lot to learn." Del said with an amazed look on his face. "What am I suppose to do...go to Fifth Avenue and have a complete makeover and assume the role you dressed me in the other day?"
"No, you're not a transvestite, although you were beautiful. Did you notice the way Eric looked at you? He wasn't shocked. If anything, he was delightfully surprised. Who knows what he was thinking? You two look so much alike, he might have been envisioning himself dressed up the way you were."
"Dammit, Del! You're fucking with my mind!"
"I don't mean to. I'm just trying to let you see some logic as to why Eric was so attracted to Carla." I said.
"Shit! The next thing you're gonna tell me is that Eric's wife, Francine, is a transvestite!"
"Wouldn't that be a kick in the head?" I joked.
"It's just that all the 'trannies', as you call them, that I've ever seen were all like Charlene. Charlene's an imposter and looks like it, but Carla has all the femininity and beauty of a McCall's cover girl. She'd fool the CIA, the FBI, or the PTA. She could go back to Wisconsin and live with Eric the rest of their lives and no one would ever know the difference...but that male sex role you spoke about...it just doesn't fit in Eric's profile."
"Maybe she's the combination of what he wants. Maybe he's never been able to satisfy Francine because he always wanted someone to satisfy him the way you did."
"What you said makes a little sense. You almost convince me, but not totally."
"I'm not sure if what I said is true, it's just a theory, and all theories require investigation before we prove them to be true or false."
"You're always the schoolteacher, aren't you?"
"Nope. That's why I've lived for seven years in my twilight world. I teach during the day...shape and mold young lives, trying to keep them growing up without making mistakes. But once school is over, in the hours between half past sunset and an hour before dawn, I assume an opposite identity. Sometimes I feel I'm worse than Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Thank God, I don't drink or do drugs or else I might get my two worlds mixed up. Then I would get arrested and lose my job because I'd become a pedophile, sucking little boys in the school bathroom, and then at night, I'd be teaching my tricks the geographical way of going round the world."
"That's funny." Del said, smiling.
"I'm glad I thought of SOMETHING to say to get you out of your bad mood."
"What should I do, Chris?"
"I don't know; these are the hours I don't teach."
"You think it's stupid that I feel as I do about Eric, don't you?"
"I don't think it's stupid...but I don't think it's healthy. I know for certain that I'm not the one in your life, but I don't think your brother is either. You're attractive in every way...looks, charm, manners, wealth... There's not a gay guy I've ever met that wouldn't be turned on by you. You could walk into a stadium and pick out any guy in the world that you wanted. If I could give you advice, that's what I would tell you to do. New York is a free city with free souls and lonely guys who would fall for you in a minute. Shop around. Don't settle until you find THE one. He's out there...but I don't believe he's in Wisconsin." I said. trying to be friendly and not sounding as a lecturer.
"Should I tell Eric the way I feel?"
"That's up to you. But remember, you not only have your personal life to think about, there are many dairy farmers who have trusted you with their lives as well as their families' welfare. If you do anything to rock the boat, it won't just be your life that you're ruining. Suppose Eric felt as you do and you two decided to continue your pubescent relationship, that would mean, you'd move back to Wisconsin and be afraid of every move you or Eric made for fear you'd be found out. Or Eric would move to New York to be with you and then you'd have no one you could trust to run the business back home. You have a lot at stake. It's a mighty big risk, but, fuck, who am I to give advice about life, love, and relationships? Yours and mine sure plunged down to the deep six. I won't go out with the same guy twice in a row. So, IF the two of you think you can find a way to make a 'go' of it...then, go to it! Life's too goddamned short to live it unhappily."
"I wish it had been you. When I listen to you talk, I envy your students and I feel guilty because I didn't fall in love with you. You're so goddamned wonderful and easy to love. You know, I loved you fifteen minutes after we met at the jazz club. So where did we go wrong?"
"I think the answer lies between Beekman Place and Hell's kitchen."
"What do you mean?"
"Money, asshole! You got it and I don't. What's more, you WANT it and I don't. I like to climb stairs to get to my apartment. I like to hunt for the lightswitch even though I've been using it for seven years. I like to step out of my trousers at night and leave them piled on the floor until I need them again. I like toast that burns only on one side because the toaster is broken. Do you have any idea what I'm talking about?"
"Del, that's the way I was raised. We were poor, This wealth I have now is new to me."
"Yes, but you've gotten used to it now. You couldn't go back now. You need your remote controls, sliding furniture and artificial rainfalls now. You've tasted the high life and old Tom Wolfe was right, you CAN'T go home again. You know the song from "Gigi" in your collection? The one that says, "Once you've had a little taste of pink champagne...? You finish it. I've never had pink or any other kind of champagne. I mean that literally as well as figuratively. Hell, I don't even like beer."
"Can we still be friends?"
"The best! If you think you can fit onto my roster with Charlene and Johnny. They're about the only family and friends I had before I met you."
"On second thought..." We both laughed. "What about Johnny? Doesn't he date?" Del asked.
"Not much. He's a good friend to everyone he meets. He keeps Charlene out of trouble. He works hard and accepts whatever life offers him. Are you interested?"
"I don't know, but at least it would give me someone new to date or go to a movie with."
"You could do a whole lot worse. We're as close as any guy I've ever known, but I've never gone to bed with him...ever. Not that he isn't my type, it's just that I want to see him two days in a row as a friend, not a forgotten face in the night."
"What do you think Charlene would say if I asked him out after Eric goes back home?"
"She'd ask you to get her a Wall Street financier to take her out, too."
"That could be arranged..."
"Why don't you ask him to dance when we go back inside?...Sort of a new beginning." I said.
"I just might....only what about you, Chris? What do you see in your future?"
I hesitated, wondering whether to encompass him in my fear of the dreaded letter of doom I'd received from the HD, but I didn't. Jesus, I'd almost forgotten about it completely! Oh well, if the trip to the HD turned out to be bad news, I at least wouldn't be put in the position of making Del a young widower. In my entire life, I'd never met anyone I could "open up" to and share my lows or even my highs. I'd lived a loner's life and as I stood there ending whatever arrangement I had or might have had with Del, I suspected that, maybe, I'd never find that someone to share life with.
"Immediately I see if we both don't go back to join the others, we're going to be sharing a room on the pneumonia ward at Bellevue."
"I feel the cold, now." Del said. "When I first came out here, I was so angry, my blood was boiling. but now that I'm more settled...you're right! I'm freezing my ass out here."
"Don't let that get around in small circles, people'll think you meant to say you're frigid!" I joked.
We went back into the club and felt our way in the blackness until we found our table. Johnny was sitting there alone. Eric and Carla were dancing on the parquet floor. Only God knew where Charlene was or whom she was with and doing what! When I saw that Del had a chance to sit and talk with Johnny while no one else was around, I lied and told them I had to make a quick run to the men's room. As I walked away with just the two of them sitting there conversing, I was sorta pleased with the matchmaking I'd just done. Del and Johnny didn't have that much in common, but since I knew them both, they might just share a sweet beginning together. Now all I had to do was stand by the urinal in the restroom and wait for my "Mr. Right." I laughed because I remembered that's where I'd met Del, only we were both sitting in booths.
I could spend only so much time peeing and I saw no one in the john that interested me. It was too early to return to the table as I wanted to give Del the chance to get better acquainted with Johnny, so I came out. fumbling in the dark until I made my way to the bar. I was only six feet away from my destination when I heard the all too familiar cackle of Charlene's laughter. She was sitting at the bar holding court. There were at least six or eight guys surrounding her as she spewed forth a multitude of her witticisms. God, the girl belonged on stage. (Maybe the one headed toward Dodge). She was talking about the various men in her life. I wondered how long she'd been reminiscing and how close she was to bringing the topic of her history to the present? I listened carefully and caught her in mid-sentence.
"...and then about two weeks ago," Charlene said, recounting a recent affair, "I put on this nurse's uniform and went down to the Salvation Army to hand out doughnuts. I go to charitable agencies quite frequently and list them on my income tax return as free donations. Any way, I met this adorable hunk with holes in his shoes and trousers. I couldn't take my eyes off his package. My God, I thought it was Christmas and I wanted to rip off his jeans and tie a huge red bow on his candy cane and attach a card saying, 'To Charlene from Santa'. My dears, it was not only as long as a candy cane, it even had a curve on the end of it!" The guys all laughed while she swigged on her vodka and Southern Comfort. "Well, somehow we wound up in the bathroom of the infirmary and he decided he wanted to do me. I really didn't have the heart to refuse him so he got on his knees and started paying me homage. He really knew how to put curls in my wig. Then just as I was about to give him my nectar, the son-of-a-bitch started coughing. Now I know I'm as well endowed as the next woman, but I've never had anyone to get choked on me. To make a long story short, three days later, the Salvation Army turned my name into the New York Health Department and I got this letter saying someone might have given me the crabs or something. So I dressed up like Bette Midler in "Stella" and went down to the 'H.D.' to find out my fate. The asshole had had a history of tuberculosis when he was a child and they wanted to stick this needle under the skin where I wear this conglomeration of bracelets and gave me a 'time' test, or something like that. I had to go back in three days to prove I hadn't caught it, but what was so bad, on the first visit, they made me write down all the names and addresses of anyone I'd been in contact since he'd attempted to blow me. God-all-mighty! It took me nearly five hours to complete my list of names. When I was through, I still wasn't sure that I remembered EVERYBODY. because I had two-hundred-thirty names written down. That meant that everyone on my list had to be contacted and all of them would have to go down for this 'time' or 'tine' test. God! I only hope none of them ever find out that it was I who gave their names to the H.D., especially since my test turned out to be negative. 'TB?' Hell, I didn't even have the crabs!"
Charlene rattled on, but I had heard everything I needed to hear. Fucking "TB"? Was THAT why I'd gotten that goddamned letter? I made a vow to shoot Charlene and tell everyone she'd died from a heart attack. No, I couldn't get mad at her. I'd probably have turned her name in, too, if the roles were reversed. Jesus! "230"?, That girl DOES get around. I was so relieved to learn I wasn't sick or had any of the dreaded fatal diseases I'd imagined, my entire body became regenerated. I felt like walking...walking on the cold wet streets of my city! New York at night, in the fall. What could be more wonderful. I walked past the table where Johnny, Del, Carla, and Eric were all sitting and laughing. Charlene would be at the bar for hours to come. as long as she had an audience. Not one of them saw me leave.
Hell, it wasn't even midnight! I had four hours to prowl. There were many gay bars to choose from on Third Avenue. I felt so exuberant from hearing the HD news, I might even pick up two tricks or even three! I had my life back with a new lease! (Even though it might be rent-controlled). I walked six blocks down the street whistling, "Autumn in New York". I felt so good I decided I might walk all seventy blocks back to my apartment.
At the end of the eighth block, the traffic light was red so I decided to wait and see what cars stopped beside me and what the drivers looked like. I peered out of the corner of my eye without turning my head and dammit!, all I saw was a fucking tow truck. The driver must've been interested in me because he honked his horn, which I ignored. He was persistent because he honked it louder and longer the second time. I was ready to tell him to 'fuck off' when I turned to look at him. He was rolling down the passenger's window to yell at me.
"Hey!" he shouted, "Do you need a ride?"
Who says they don't believe in fate. I KNEW that voice. It belonged to the 'man who wears the star'.
"Hi, Brian." I called back.
"I repeat. Do you need a ride?" he yelled.
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do." I replied, walking toward his truck. I got in, closed the door, looked at him and smiled. He returned my smile with a bigger one of his.
"Where to?" he asked.
I don't know why I did it, but I leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. He was startled but gave me a very forgiving look.
"Would you like to go to a movie, sometime?" I asked.
He laughed.
"Would you settle for a DVD at my apartment?" he asked.
"Which one?" I asked.
"I just bought the complete 'Godfather' set. With all the extra footage, it runs almost fifteen hours.
"That should take us through 6:00 PM Sunday afternoon, shouldn't it?"
"Something like that."
"Can we watch it in your bed?"
"Sure, I'll keep the remote control handy and we can pause it whenever you feel like it."
"Jesus! I might be late for work on Monday."
"Fuck it! Call in sick!"
The light turned green and the two of us drove off into the night to meet the dawn.
FIN.