I will never forget that night. The magician was not very good, and the audience was razzing him mercilessly. Jill and I were sitting at a front table, near the middle of the stage, and for some reason we bore the brunt of the would-be prestidigitator's stares and glares, even though we were about the only ones to clap for him at all. Finally, after some half-hearted card tricks and a lame rabbit-out-of-the-hat routine, he got to his grand finale.
"May I have two volunteers from the audience?" he proclaimed theatrically. "How about this lovely young couple in front of me?" He was gesturing straight at us. We reluctantly got up and joined the charlatan on stage.
"Now, my friends, what are your names?"
"I'm Jack, and this is my wife Jill," I replied.
"Ah, Jack and Jill! How appropriate! Are you here to fetch a pail of water?" The audience groaned' they wanted this to be over with as much as Jill and I did.
"Well, do you know what we are going to do? We are going to recreate my most famous trick--sawing a lady in half. But we are also going to add a little something special--we are going to saw a man in half, as well. Please, follow my lovely assistants."
The young women led us to a pair of boxes and had us lie down inside of them. The covers were closed and fastened. I won't bore you with the next few minutes of mumbo-jumbo; suffice it to say that the magician, Half'n'Half, had our bodies "sawed in half" and separated. Here's where it got weird.
"Now, to put the pieces back together again! But, how about, for a little fun, we put them together wrong? How does that sound to you?" He finally got a little scattered applause from the audience; hoping to see, no doubt, something, anything, different.
When we went up on stage, we had been dressed rather casually. Jill was wearing a pants suit, in black, with the pants rather snug against her shapely butt, and a pair of two-inch heel, open-toe sandals, with ankle-length see-through hose socks. I had on a polo shirt, cords and loafers with dark socks.
As his assistants put us together again, they pushed Jill's "bottom half" against me and my "bottom half" against her. You could see our feet sticking out the end of the boxes; Jill's heels and my loafers. Jill's heels seemed to be at the end of my body. We wiggled our feet as instructed, and the audience tittered. We were released to some more scattered applause; as we stood up, there were startled gasps from the crowd. I was wearing Jill's snug black slacks and high heels; she was sporting my cords and loafers! There was a pause, then long, sustained applause mingled with laughter at our predicament! Bewildered, we stumbled back to our table when Half'n'Half dismissed us, me tottering just a bit in the high heels. When we sat down, a waiter handed us a note instructing us to see Half'n'Half backstage in ten minutes.
While we waited, we finished our drinks in silence. I sat with my legs crossed, knee over knee, unconsciously imitating Jill; she had her legs spread comfortably apart, just the way that I would have sat.
When we saw Half'n'Half, he was cleaning off his makeup. He got right to the point.
"You two were nice to me tonight; that's why I chose you," he began. "You have been given a great gift. To reverse the gift, you must solve this riddle: reverse your shoes. Now go, my children, and enjoy what I have done for you!"
More puzzled than ever, we left his dressing room and headed for our car. I opened the door for Jill, and she stepped in, placing her left leg in the car and following with her torso, just as a man would. When I got in, I sat down and carefully keeping my legs together, spun them into the car together. I found the seat needed a touch of adjustment, and that driving with high heels on can be trickier than it looks.
We talked about it on the ride home; we were both convinced that the magician was a nut, and that when we got home and got undressed, everything would be as it should. I ignored, for the moment, the fact that even with two inch heels on, I was now no taller than Jill, and also that somehow, my toenails were polished the same bright red color that Jill's were.
We arrived home and pulled into the garage, then got out of the car and went into the house. I was feeling pressure in my bladder, so I headed for our bedroom. That was strange; usually it was Jill who had to relieve herself as soon as we got home. I went into the bathroom off our bedroom and fumbled with Jill's slacks, trying to find the zipper.
"Jill!" I called out. "How do you..."
"The zipper's on the side!" she replied. "The left side."
"Thanks." I found it and the snap; I unfastened and unzipped the slacks, pulled them down, and stopped. Underneath were Jill's panties; there was no manly bulge in the front. I thought about that for a moment, then asked Jill to come in.
"What's the matt..." she started, then stopped when she saw my panties and my smooth crotch. "Oh, my," she said, then started to unbuckle and unzip my cords from her own waist. When they had dropped to her knees, I saw clearly that she was wearing my briefs, and that they bulged in front as if Jill had a penis and testicles.
"Jack, take off your shoes and remove those slacks," Jill commanded, while she did the same. Then she had us both bare our feet totally, and stand side-by-side and compare them. There was no doubt whatsoever about it--her feet were much bigger than mine, her toes had some dark hairs on them, and my toenails were polished. We next compared legs--hers were quite hairy and muscular, while mine were smooth shaven and slim, even sexy. I was quite convinced that the feet and legs attached to Jill had been mine earlier that evening, and that the lower body I now sported had been my wife's only a short time before.
Jill took a deep breath, then pulled out the waistband of her underpants, my briefs, if you will, and peeked inside. She released the band, looked away, then, seconds later, as if drawn against her will, looked inside the briefs again. Suddenly, she yanked them down her legs and stepped out of them in one quick motion. Her penis--(from this point forward, anything attached to Jill is "her" or "hers"; anything attached to me is "mine"; if I do not relate this tale in this matter, I shall go mad--madder than I already am, that is)--was exposed. It was not yet erect, thank heaven; but it was starting to thicken, a reaction I knew very well. Without further ado, I lowered my panties and stared at my pussy. Jill keeps her pubic hair well-trimmed, so I had no trouble seeing, even from that unaccustomed angle.
The pubic hair was familiar looking; so was the twat. SHIT!!! How the hell could I have a twat, a cunt, a box, a pussy? I was a man, dammit!
Jill saw my anger, and acted quickly to calm me down. "Remember what that magician said, honey. 'To reverse the gift, you must solve this riddle: reverse your shoes. Now go, my children, and enjoy what I have done for you!' That means this is not permanent. All we have to do is figure out his riddle, and we can be back to normal again."
I immediately calmed down; I saw that Jill was correct, and that I was being foolish. First things first; I still had to pee. I kicked off the panties and stood in front of the toilet, fumbling at my crotch.
"Ahem!" Jill cleared her throat loudly at me. "Forgetting already, are we?"
"Forgetting what?" I said, even as I remembered.
"You're a squatter, not a squirter anymore," she replied. "So squat."
I sat down, looked at her perplexed, and said, "Now what?"
"Spread your legs apart a little, then just go," Jill replied.
I exhaled slowly, tried to relax; nothing was coming out, even though my bladder felt ready to burst. I shut my eyes and pretended I still had Old Faithful, and was sitting because I had to take a dump as well. That did the trick, and I began pissing a steady stream into the toilet. When I finished, I wiped as Jill instructed me, stood up, and gestured at the toilet.
"No, thanks, I can hold it," Jill replied.
"I'm sure you can, but now seems like as good a time as any for some instruction on my part," I answered.
Jill nodded glumly; she apparently wasn't any happier with this trade than I was. She finished removing her jockey shorts and stepped up to the bowl.
"Don't forget to raise the seat," I teased, and she grinned at me.
She lifted the seat, then stood there holding her dick and looking baffled. "Well, Master Yoda, now what?" she asked.
"Aim it at the toilet and, when you're ready, start spraying. You know, just go," I replied.
Several seconds went by, then suddenly her expression changed from one of concentration to one of relief; her spray started, and pee was pouring from her penis straight toward the bowl. She started to turn toward me, with a grin, but I hastened to warn her to keep her aim at the toilet. She did, and soon finished her job.
"What next?" she asked, still holding her fire hose.
"Shake it a couple of times, then you're done"
She did so, then grinned impishly and shook it some more. Her dick grew a little thicker again. "Hence the expression, 'Shake it more than twice and you're playing with it', huh?" she grinned.
"You got it. Now stop that before you go too far and start something you're not ready to finish."
"To boldly go where no woman has gone before?"
"Something like that. Now we gotta figure things out." As I said this, I was heading for the bedroom. I hung my slacks over a hanger, while Jill did the same for the cords.
"What's to figure out?" Jill asked. "Besides the riddle, I mean."
"That's just it. It might take us a while to solve, and until then, we're stuck like this."
"Well, I can't think of anybody else I'd rather be attached to," Jill said, coming over to me and giving me a hug. I returned the embrace, then shuddered when I felt her new genitalia start to stiffen in earnest.
"Be careful with that thing, it could go off at any moment," I warned her.
She giggled, looking down at herself. "Is that what you call a semi?"
"Yes. And it can go from semi to completely awfully quickly, if you're not careful."
Jill removed her top and bra and reclined on the bed, naked. Her breasts were firm and ripe, her nipples erect; and her cock was now at about 3/4 mast. I removed my own shirt, more for something to do than anything else, and felt my new pussy moisten at the sight of Jill's "manhood" stiffening up. I lay down next to Jill, and a minute later her hand found my thigh, stroking lightly, and then worked its way up to my snatch. I gasped, not believing how good it felt. My pussy was warming and growing moist; Jill's expert fingers teased and pleased my clit, making it stand up, puffed up my lips, and generally drove me crazy with lust. A small corner of my mind was warning me that 'fair is fair', and so I glanced over at her rod. It was now fully erect, and her playing with me had caused it to throb with trapped blood. I hesitantly at first took it in my hand, gently stroking it, as if it were still attached to my body. As I stroked up and down, Jill gasped and bucked her hips. I knew that this particular penis liked it fast but loved it slow: I took it very slow. Jill's nipples were popping; I twisted around so that I could use my free hand on her nips while still stroking her rod, while she kept pleasing my pussy, finally thrusting a finger and then two inside of me. Suddenly her body tensed up; and as I kept stroking her, she shot her load--her first load ever--up into the air and all over my hand. She kept finger fucking me, never missing a beat, until I creamed her fingers but good. I squeezed my legs, caressing her trapped hand, and finally sighed in pleasure as I released her. I finished milking her cock, then grabbed a few tissues and cleaned up her jism. I was very delicate, as I knew her dick would be quite sensitive immediately after cumming. She just looked at me.
"That was incredible!" she said. "I never felt anything like it. Just kept getting better and better until bam! Fireworks!"
"I know what you mean," I replied. "My toes are still curling. You give great hand."
"Thank you! So do you."
As we prepared for bed, it became evident that our usual nighttime attire just would not work. I usually wore boxers, while Jill would don a short nightie with matching panties. My boxers did not fit me, and her panties were looking awfully crammed when Jill stuffed her package of man-meat in there. After a brief discussion, we traded undies--me putting on the panties, Jill donning the boxer shorts. She left on her filmy nightie, and it looked strange, to say the least, with the boxers; but probably no stranger than I looked with my manly upper body and torso leading into her translucent panties. Embarrassingly enough, I could see my bush through them quite clearly.
Next morning, I awoke without my normal morning woody. It took me a few minutes to orient and remember the events of the previous night. I glanced over at Jill, and saw that she had a piss hardon. Her brand new johnson was sticking out of the boxers, and the mere sight of it made my pussy water. Without really thinking about it, I began to rub myself down there. The longer I stared at it, the harder it seemed to get. I came to a decision. I pulled off the panties and stuck a finger in my slit to draw out some more moisture, making sure I was good and ready. Then I reached over into the nightstand and got a condom. I opened the foil package, took out the condom, and slowly rolled it over Jill's dick. Now that it was properly dressed, I knelt straddling her hips and eased myself up until her pole was pointing straight at my cunt. I spread my lips open with one hand and took her tool in the other and gently lowered myself onto her rod. As I achieved maximum insertion depth, I glanced at her face and saw her eyes snap open in surprise. I'm sure she had the same momentary disorientation that I had experienced, with one addition--she awoke to find her husband lowering himself onto her hard cock! As I began to buck up and down on her meat, I felt myself get slicker and slicker, felt my outer pussy lips getting plumper and plumper, and also noted that my little clitty had popped out of its hiding place, sticking up like, well, like a miniature penis. Jill was becoming fully awake now, and her hips were pushing upwards, driving her cock deeper into my pussy. I located and squeezed my cunt muscles for all I was worth. Soon Jill tensed up; she bit down on her lower lip and her rhythm changed. She shot her load into me (well, actually, into the condom) just as I started to cum. As I collapsed onto her, she kissed me quickly and thanked me for the wake up call.
We got up and showered together; soon we had to concentrate on not playing with each other too much, as the hot water was beginning to run out. Then we got dressed. We both put on jeans--Jill wore a pair of mine, over a pair of men's briefs she had bought me one day, and I put on her jeans, over a pair of her panties. I pulled on a longish sweatshirt to help cover my snug, curvy butt.
Jill decided that, while she could get away with wearing any of my clothes--unisex being acceptable for women--I would need some more "manly" feminine slacks to get by. So we headed for the mall to make a few purchases.
While we were at the mall, Jill brought me to her beauty salon. Her friend Debbie worked there. She took us into a back room, where Jill explained what had happened to us.
"Oh, I get it," Debbie laughed, "you want me to wax him instead of you this time? That's kinky enough. You got it, Jill."
I sighed. Obviously I was going to have to disrobe either way, so I pulled down my woman's jeans and panties quickly. Debbie gaped.
"Jill, hun, I hate to be the one to tell ya, but he's a she! I never knew that about Jack!"
Jill dropped her men's jeans and jockey shorts. Debbie gaped again.
"Holy shit, what's goin' on here?" Debbie demanded.
"I just told you," Jill patiently explained.
"But...but I thought you were just yanking my chain. You weren't, were you?
That thing of yours--it really work?" Debbie asked.
Jill nodded. "If we're not careful, I'll have a full-blown hard-on soon."
"Cool! I'd love to see that! Say, you want your wiener waxed, Jill? You could use it--the shaft's a little hairy."
"You know, you're right about that. The little hairs get stuck when I use a condom," Jill replied.
"When you use a..." Debbie's eyes got very wide. "You mean you and he--"
I nodded. "Yep."
"So I'll take your best wax job--on the shaft only. Don't get exotic; it's only a loaner. Just 'til we figure out how to trade back."
Soon I found myself on a table, legs spread wide, while Debbie spread hot wax on my twat. She pulled it off quickly and expertly; it still stung. Next it was Jill's turn. Her shaft got hard as Debbie first trimmed her pubic hair back and then had to handle her johnson for the waxing. Debbie grinned as Jill yelped when the wax was yanked off her rod. It seems it hurt more to have a penis waxed than a snatch. Interesting. Also, interesting was the way her shaft looked longer and thicker after the trim and waxing. I could feel myself lubing again. Debbie glanced over at me.
"Do I smell pussy juice?" she teased.
"It seems to appreciate your artwork," I bantered back.
Then it was time to have my pedicure. I felt ridiculous, with cotton balls stuffed between my toes, and Debbie filing, shaping and painting, but what's a fellow to do?