This is a work of pure fiction, but based on the author's feelings, beliefs, and in some cases, experience. Come to think of it -- it might not be all that pure! There may be graphic sexual encounters at times between males, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If you are too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kind if story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - - ENJOY!
Cast of characters:
Joshua Alan Black II
Barbie Warfield -- my mother
Dennis Warfield -- my stepfather
Wilma Warfield -- Dennis's mother ("Missy" to m)e
Francis Warfield -- Dennis's father -- ("Sir" to me.)
Alva Benson -- my Gram (Grandma)
Iver Benson -- my Pop (Grandpa)
Richard -- My favorite Cousin
Ray and Raul -- Richards' older brothers.
Nate Willows -- My first roomie.
Rudy Chanbers -- Friend across the hall.
Randy "Rascal" Ringstrom. Tutor
Wayne "Bulge" Andrews -- Rudy's room mate
From Chapter 3:
"Sir, you cannot be badgering him like this. He is quite sedated. He probably can't answer you right now." Said a soft female voice.
"You don't understand, Ma'am. He was attacked and - "
"I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave, sir. Unless you are a family member - "
"This is my son! I need to know."
"Percy!" I said, weakly.
"What?" Said the General, turning back to me.
"It was Percy, Crabbe and Goyle."
"Those three again! That's all I needed, son. I was already told it was them, but I needed to get it from you. You can rest now."
I felt completely powerless and panicky as he left my bedside. "WAIT!" I managed to yell.
He turned and came back. "You -- my dad?"
"I'll explain later -- Son." He put his hand gently on my chest.
Chapter 4
I opened my eyes again and I saw Nate hovering over me. In the state I was in all I could think was "God I love you!"
"I think you're pretty special too!" He laughed. He bent down and kissed me on the lips. "I guess our dad told you the news, huh?"
"Huh?" I said, still in a half-stupor.
"He said he told you."
I thought as hard as I could. "Um -- was the General here while I was -- um -- coming out my anesthesia?"
"Oh shit! You don't know!"
I thought some more. "I remember him calling me son several times, but lots of older men have done that. Oh! I -- you mean -- holy shit! I thought I was dreaming, then decided -- you mean -- when he told the nurse he was my dad -- I thought -- HOLY SHEE-YIT! I thought he was just trying to get her to let him stay!"
"He was."
"He -- wha-at? He was? So he isn't my - "
"He is."
"You're effin' with my mind here bro! My real dad is dead!"
"Funny thing -- you calling me `bro'. After last night, he called me in to his office. He explained everything to me.
"I don't think I want to hear it! That fucker just let me -- I mean -- and my mother! How could he -- I don't want to see him -- ever -- I might be tempted to plant a killer donkey kick into his neck!"
"Josh -- don't! He's - "
"And you're sticking up for him! Get the hell out of my room." I said weakly. "Maybe if I go to sleep again, this WILL turn out to be a nightmare! Please," I begged, "Just get out!" I cried -- and cried. I wanted to turn away from him, but something was preventing it. I closed my eyes and stopped crying -- stopped everything - - but breathing.
"Josh -- Joshua -- hey, Bro!"
I heard him, but had no power to make him leave, so I just ignored him. I heard Nathan talking to the nurse, telling her I went back to sleep, and he would wait until I woke up.
I did go back to sleep and when I woke up -- sometime later -- I dunno if it was several hours or several minutes -- he was still in my room. I could hear him breathing. It was dark in the room, so he could not see that my eyes were barely open -- staring at the ceiling.
"You must be -- Nathan?" she said.
"Yes, I was - " Nate replied.
"Mother! Mother?" I cried.
"I came as fast as I could. Oh!" My mother started to cry when she looked at me. Omigosh -- what must have happened to me?!!
"Mother -- please stop crying -- your upsetting the patient." I said, thinking I was quite funny.
"Oh my poor, dear Joshua! They told me that you were beaten up pretty bad. I wasn't prepared for this."
"Mother -- I haven't seen the damage yet. You never were very good at this stuff, were you?" I was feeling more and more like myself. I even noticed how humorously sarcastic I was. I don't know why I was being so silly. But -- my mother was not laughing.
"No, Joshua -- I never was too good at this stuff." She said crying, and turning away.
"Josh -- it's your mom, for crying out loud!" Said that other voice that I was trying to ignore. I didn't answer.
"Mother -- did you know about -- about - "
" -- about your father? I heard about it from Dennis just before coming here this morning."
"He's been fucking my brains out for the last six years, all the while knowing who my real father is? I'll -- I'll -- kill him!" This time I wasn't joking.
"Joshua -- please don't talk like that. Dennis has provided - "
"Dennis has provided for you financially! And for the last six years he has been using me as his fucking wife -- while my mother knew about it all along! And now I'm supposed to forgive you both -- when I find out that Dennis knew where my real father was? And what was this cock and bull story about him being killed. You heard the explosion yourself, you used to say!"
"Joshua, please - "
"Mother -- you don't even know me well enough to call me Josh -- as all those close to me do! The few friends I was allowed to have, were called by their real name -- by their moms -- when they were in trouble!"
"Their mom's were not your mom!" She said indignantly.
"I never had a mom! All I had was a mother! Please leave!"
I didn't have to pretend to be exhausted this time. I fell back into a deep sleep again. And again, I don't know how long it was, but when I woke up, again I knew by his breathing -- which I memorized while lying in my bed in our cell -- that Nathan was still there -- or maybe there again. This time, he knew I was awake. He came over and stroked my arm. I ignored him.
"I know you're awake and maybe it's a good thing that you are ignoring me. This way I can tell you a few things." He said, gently.
I was so angry at what had happened to me -- what was happening to me and I didn't have much hope that things would get any better.
"They changed your drugs a little. You are more sedated this time, and that drug that made you silly was replaced by one not so strong. Your sillyness seemed to turn to -- well -- in the opposite direction.
"Josh -- the first thing I want to tell you is -- I love you. Please don't blame me for any of this. I know you are smart enough to see that. You were able to bring out the best in Wayne -- who I couldn't stand. He was the one -- by the way -- who saved them from hurting you even more."
I listened and couldn't stop a tear from escaping my closed eyes. Nathan wiped it from my face. I felt warmth next to my face and then he kissed my cheek. "Josh -- you're my brother. Only now it's for real. We're brothers."
I wanted so much to open my eyes and tell him I loved him too. But pride was still in the way. I remained still, with my eyes closed.
He continued to stroke my right arm -- which was about the only thing on me that he would have hurt by touching it. "Josh -- I was two years old when my dad -- still in the Air Force -- was away from home, and had a short furlough in California. He and my mom were separated and he met a guy at the base who fixed him up with your mother -- or rather I guess it was his friend's girlfriend who did the fixing up.
"Dad spent a week with your mom. He thought he fell in love with her. Maybe he did, but anyway, he said he used a condom, and had no reason to think that anything would come of it. When his plane went down, he was the only one who survived. He wandered from the rice paddy where the plane crashed and they thought everyone was killed.
"Dad was found wandering a day abd a half later by a guy passing in his car. He picked our dad up, because Dad looked so bad form the crash. I guess when my mom heard his plane went down she left me with my grandparents and flew out to California and they went through a new process of courting and patched things up. He told Mom about his screwing up with another woman, but no one guessed that your mom could be pregnant. My dad gave a fake name when he dated your mom, because of his guilt about cheating on Mom.
"So -- I guess you were named after a fake name, even. Maybe you can change your name to one that you choose. But for me -- I LOVE Josh -- because it's the name I know you by."
I opened my eyes. He wiped another tear from my face, and kissed my cheek again. I tried to reach for him with my left arm. Pain! Another tear. He bent down to kiss it away and I re-discovered that my right arm was intact. I redirected his kiss to my lips. "God I love you, Josh -- but we're brothers now!"
"Yeah. What a perfect cover for staying roomies forever." I said, trying to smile, but realized it came out a grimace.
"We're brothers, Bud. It wouldn't be right."
"Yeah," I said. "If I got you pregnant, it might be a defective kid! Nate -- there's no reason we can't - "
"Shhhh. Let's not go there right now. Anyway -- do you think you understand about our dad -- now?"
"Yeah -- I guess." I said.
"Anyway, it was a total coincidence that out of all the military schools in the country - your grandparents found our academy. But when the General saw you -- that first day -- sitting next to me -- he was freaked out because -- you look almost exactly like he did when he was your age. That's why you caught him staring at you a few times."
"And that's why he looked so familiar to me!" I said. I couldn't get his eyes out of my head -- and now I know why: they are my eyes! I see them every time I look in the mirror."
When our dad saw you, he started doing some digging, and when he found out who your mother was -- he immediately approached your dad."
"Dennis is NOT my dad!"
"Well, he acted like he was -- and like he loved you dearly."
"Oh he loved me alright. That's what he told me every time he - "
"I know -- you've told me. But Dad didn't know that. They decided that it would be better to keep it a secret for awhile -- so it wouldn't be too much of a shock to you."
"And so he could sock it to me a few more times -- before I found out the truth. The last time was the night before my mom drove me out here."
"What a sick bastard!" Said my brother.
"Maybe it was no sicker than me looking forward to it -- while at the same time knowing it was wrong and hating it."
"Um -- Josh -- can I go get your mom? She's been waiting out in the waiting room for the last two days."
"It's been THAT long?" I marveled.
"You've been here in intensive care for over two weeks." He said. "so -- can I get her?"
"I've been here over two weeks and she just now shows up?"
"She's been here most of that time, Babe. She's been crying most of the time for the last week, since you woke up the last time and told her to get out."
"But don't you see why?" I said. "You stayed. Even though I told you to get out -- you stayed. She didn't."
"Can she come in now -- bro? She's weak. She's -- and I'm sorry about this -- but -- she's not all that bright, either. But she obviously loves you. She doesn't know anything else but what she has done. Can she come in?"
"Will you stay?"
"I will if you want me to."
"Okay."
He went out for a few minutes. When he came back, mother was with him. "Hi Joshua." She said. "JOSH! -- I mean Josh."
Her eyes were red and she looked a mess. Tears were newly forming. Nate walked out of view. "Nate!" I cried, almost panicky
"I'm still here, Bro. I won't leave."
I extended my right hand and he took it and held it. My mother daubed at her eyes and face with a Kleenex. "Josh -- I left Den."
I tried to gape my mouth, but it hurt too much. "You -- what?"
"I left Dennis."
"But -- how will you - "
"Frank and Wilma gave me enough to keep me comfortable."
"Frank and -- you mean Missy and Sir?"
She bobbed her head.
"But -- why? Why would they do that?" I asked.
"They have always blamed me for Dennis's problems. I know I'm not very smart, but -- if I'm not smart, Dennis's parents are just plain stupid. They still don't know -- or won't admit -- that their youngest son is gay. So they blame me for his problems. And with me out of the way -- maybe he WILL straighten out."
"Poor choice of words, Mom." I said. I realized after the fact that I just called her `Mom'.
"Well, they may find him someone who is smarter than I am." She said.
"She'll have to be awfully ugly!" I said and it hurt when I tried to smile.
"Anyway, I'm fixed comfortably for life."
"How did you get them to agree to - "
"It was that general of your's. He talked to them and arranged it all."
"Do you know who `that general' is, Mom?"
"Yes. He is your real father. But he is nothing to me. We spent a week together, and he was gone. I cried, and mourned and got over him in time. He now has a family and it looks like you have a wonderful brother here. Your real dad will take care of you too -- he promised. And by the way -- even though Den knows about the general, his parents don't know anything other than he is the head master of the academy you are going to."
She continued, "Anyway -- you can expect Frank's attorney to be contacting you soon."
"Why?" I asked.
"They want to pay you off too."
"They're maybe not as stupid as you think, Mom. They knew what Dennis was doing -- they had to! They just want to get rid of me -- just like they did to you. Um -- mom? Did you know that I am gay?"
"I suspected it, Honey. You are so handsome! Like your -- the general. But you never really showed any interest in girls."
"Some of the books I have read say that I still may -- but I don't really believe it."
"I don't care if you're gay, Joshua -- erm -- Josh. I mean -- it might be easier if you weren't. But the way Den treated you how could you NOT be?"
"Yeah some of the books say that too, but I don't believe that either. But they seem to mostly agree that I'll know by the time I'm 25."
"That should be in about three years, Bro! Rascal is helping you catch up with me! At that rate, you'll be 25 in no time!"
Mom looked confused. "He's joking, Mom. I am getting special tutoring because of my scores and grades coming in here. They have placed me in the junior class. But I need some catching up. The kid who's helping me is only fourteen too, but he looks about 10 or 11. His voice hasn't changed yet and his -- um -- well, let's say - he still has the body of a boy. But he' a genius and has enough credits to graduate already. His parents are only keeping him here until he matures at least physically."
"So -- you will be a senior next year?"
"Maybe. I'm getting awfully tired. You can stay, but I just feel like I want to rest awhile -- k?"
"I probably should get some food. Do you want to come with me, Nathan?"
"Please call me Nate, Mrs. Warfield. And, no- I'll stay a few ore minutes with my brother, if that's okay."
"Oh, you're a prince!" she said. And she kissed my cheek and left the room smiling.
I closed my eyes and breathed shallowly for a few minutes, then remembered that my brother was still with me. I opened my eyes and didn't see him. "Nate?" I said, fearful that there would be no answer.
"I'm here, bro." He said, squeezing my right hand gently. He had never let it go.
"You Are a prince -- MY prince." I said. "Nate -- it really doesn't matter that we're brothers -- does it? I mean all that incest stuff -- it's only because of babies isn't it?"
Nate took a deep breath and blew it out. "I dunno, Josh. I just -- don't know -- but -- I can't -- um -- Can't we at least wait until you are feeling better to discuss this?"
"I'll be feeling a lot better a lot sooner if I know you're waiting for me." I said.
"I haven't left your side in two weeks," He said, "Except to get some food in me. I'll always be waiting for you. But -- I don't know about -- about -- the rest. It just doesn't feel right to me."
"Just tell me you'll think about it -- please?" I begged.
"I will promise you this: I will never stop loving you."
"But -- as a brother, huh?"
"That'll have to do for now, Bro. Um -- would you like to know more about our dad? He'll probably want to visit you again in a day or so. He has been here regularly too. Just never when you were awake -- well, except that one time when you heard what he told the nurse."
Nate told me about when he was a boy and his dad played with him, taught him to throw a ball, coached his little league team -- all the things I thought dads were supposed to do -- but that I missed. Fucking Dennis was all I had! After he told me more about his -- er -- our dad, I wanted to talk to him even more. I was still pissed, but couldn't be pissed at him. I was just pissed at the world -- the universe for giving me such a shitty life.
The General did come to see me. He and Nate came together and told me it would be better all around if the general cadet population didn't know of our relationship. It was causing trouble for Nate and they didn't want it to for me. I could see how it would be a problem.
But all the teachers were already aware and since most of my time was spent with my tutor at my side -- at least now -- it wasn't much of an issue. I got into it once with my English teacher because he didn't understand the difference between "he and I" and "him and me." He was taught somewhere that you always say he and I. He marked a paper wrong when I used them as the object, saying something happened to him and me. He said it was "he and I", and neither of us would back down.
I proved him wrong in front of the class and ever after he hated me. He was super critical of everything I turned in after that, but he couldn't keep me back. And he knew he should not get too excited about it -- because his job could be on the line. I didn't mind having the General for my dad when stuff like that occurred. The schmuck was the football coach and the state required that he teach another class too and -- the faculty at the academy thought well, anyone should be able to teach his own language -- right? WRONG!
Soon after getting back to classes, I met Ryan. Ryan was the boyfriend that Nate broke up with. And the boyfriend that Nate got back together with when he found out about that Nate's brother was in the hospital! That's why Nate would not consent to be my boyfriend. I was crushed for a time, but got over it. I never again had to see Dennis, or his parents -- and I have a new brother. A BIG brother!
It wasn't too long before I noticed another tall boy -- a sophomore -- staring at me. I asked Nate if he knew him.
"Oh yeah. That's Roger Schwimmer."
"Is he gay?"
"I never thought so. What do you mean he was staring?"
"I mean, I caught him several times. I never noticed him before, but when our eyes met, I sure noticed him. I've never seen such clear blue eyes. He came to sit with someone across the table from us."
"Yeah, he usually sits with barracks 18 table -- because he lives there. But his parents live in town, so he goes home on weekends. I remember the day he ate noon mess with our table."
"That was it! And every time I looked at him, he was staring at me. Gah! Those eyes! And -- that golden, curly hair!" I said, pushing down my rising wood.
"Haha! I can see he's getting to you! Maybe he thinks you were staring at him!" Laughed my brother.
"Maybe he's right."
"But -- I usually pick up on other guys when they're -- I mean I never thought he was gay." Said Nate. "The football team practices the same time as you guys do. Haven't you ever seen him there?"
"No. I usually make it a habit to come home after wrestling and shower in our own barracks."
"Maybe you should change that habit! I've see the shower room there -- when it's full. Nice view! Why don't you shower there?"
"I just got used to coming home, because I didn't want trouble with Percy, Crabbe and Goyle."
"Well, they are all in juvenile hall now -- until they're 18 -- then they will wait in the county jail for their trial. They're being tried as adults, you know."
"I know. I might have to be a witness against them."
"Might?"
"They said, since I am only 14, they might be able to take an affidavit -- and present that in court. But I'm not sure I can testify to what the prosecutor wants."
"Why -- what does he want?"
"They were stupid enough to keep saying I deserved it because I am gay. So the prosecutor wants to try it as a hate crime."
"He believes you are gay?"
"I don't have to be. Just the fact that they perceived me that way is enough."
"Stupid court system!" Said Nate. "They beat the crap out of you -- isn't it obvious that they hate you? Why should there be a special circumstance of hate crime. They didn't hate you because you're gay. They hated you because you single-handedly put them all down. Well anyway, they're gone. Go get naked with Roger! I'd LOVE to know he's gay!"
"You are so gay, my brother SOOO gay!" I laughed.
The next wrestling practice -- that very afternoon -- I hung out and went to the showers last. Rudy's eyes widened. "You -- usually don't come in here!" He said, gawking at me penis. And he'd seen it before!
"No wonder!" Said another wrestler. "He's been holding out on us! Look at the heat he's packin'! Never saw a pistol that size before!" Some of the other wrestlers giggled, while others shook their heads. "Hey! I'm just sayin' -- a nice target to snap with my lethal towel!"
"Well, don't just stand there staring at him, you idiots. That's probably why he didn't come in there in the first place." Said the team captain. "Get out and leave him some privacy!" They all left, the captain leaving last. As he left he whispered, "God, I'm jealous!" He grinned at me and walked out, passing a few of the footballers who were coming in.
"Wo, Guys! Look at mister hung low!" Said one big guy. "Are you advertising or something? Wait a minute! Aren't you the guy who got Percy booted?"
I was getting scared. There were at least ten other big guys in the shower - - and there were only ten showers. The biggest of them strode to me and when his arm came for me, I flinched. "Hey -- cool it, dude! That guy -- and his two idiot friends -- were fuck-ups anyway. They couldn't play ball and we heard how you fucked them up on your first day. I just wanted to shake your hand!" He said, grinning.
"And I want to trade dicks with you!" Said another guy. "That's a masterpiece!"
"Shut up, fag! Don't be admiring another guy's cock!" another said.
"Yeah, as if you wouldn't trade in that little weenie for his!"
"Maybe - but I wouldn't talk about it!"
"Well, I just did! What're you gonna do about it?"
"I'm not doin nothin'! I thought maybe YOU wanted to PLAY with it!"
"Why -- to get it all ready for you to suck?"
"Hey, cut it out! You're embarrassing him!" I looked and it was - -
"Roger Schwimmer!" He said, extending his hand. "And I'm also in awe of the way you handled those three. They were downers to the team. Coach was getting ready to can `em anyway. And you are - ?"
"Um -- oh! I'm -- uh -- Black! Um -- I mean Josh -- ua -- Joshua Black."
Well, I handled THAT well, didn't I?
"Nice to know you Josh-oo-ah." He said. I saw you last week when I came to your table to eat. I thought you were new!"
"Do you know Nate Willows?"
"Who doesn't. He's the General's son!"
"He's my - - um -- cell mate." I almost messed up!
"Is that all?" Asked Nate excitedly, as I recounted to him my shower experience.
"Yeah -- pretty much -- well, except that he still has that staring problem only it wasn't me this time."
"Crap!"
"Well, not my face anyway! He had a hard time tearing his gaze from my crotch! Haha!"
"Well! I'm surprised! I just couldn't see him as gay!"
"Well, I'm not ready to jump to that conclusion yet. I mean -- most of the guys were looking at me -- I mean -- it!"
"It IS pretty amazing. It's not often we see anything that magnificent here in middle America -- all uncut and everything!" Nate laughed. "But -- when do you -- I mean -- are you going to meet in the showers again?"
"That could be a little lame -- well, at least to plan it that way. But he did ask me if I wanted to hang out sometime. It took him a few moments to understand why I laughed."
"You're bad!. Very few are gonna be as quick as you!"
"Thanks." I said.
"So -- did you make any plans -- to hang out I mean?" Nate laughed.
"Actually yes. He asked me to come home with him this weekend."
"Wow! I can see it now: `Hi, I'm Roger. Nice dick. Wanna come home with me for the weekend?"
"It wasn't quite like that. We walked and talked for awhile after we dressed."
"Well, you didn't tell me that!"
"Hey, I had to raise the level of mystery a little. I'm learning in creative writing not to lay everything out in the beginning."
"Okay, I'll shut up and let you tell me the rest. I suppose you went behind some bushes somewhere and traded sucky-sucks?"
"Nate! I don't even know if he's gay yet."
"HE'S Gay! He's gotta be!"
"I'm not so sure. Unless all the football team is gay. They all are pretty familiar with each other. And -- teased with me very quickly. I think they just are guys being guys."
"Well, okay. So are you going over there for the weekend?"
"I told him I'd let him know after practice today."
"Do it!" Said Nate.
"You trying to get rid of me?"
"As a matter of fact -- yes. I told Mom and Dad I wanted to stay here for the weekend and work on some homework. Actually -- Ryan's coming! And -- it would be a lot -- um -- more comfortable if you were at Roger's."
"Yeah, that way he could sleep in my bed - - or wait a minute --there are already two empty beds in our cell! I wonder - Why would you want your favorite brother gone?"
"That's something you'll have to figure out for yourself."
"Okay, I'll tell him yes."
"That's my brother!" Said my brother. "and I want a full report on what happens at Roger's!"
"Yeah -- right after your full report of what you and Ryan did!"
"We can skip over some of the boring parts." Said Nate.
"Yeah -- okay! Oh -- and did I tell you? He patted my ass when we left each other."
"Now that's one thing I KNOW the footballers do!" Said Nate.
"Uh huh! And do they squeeze a little and then let go?"
"Um -- never been a footballer -- I can't say." He said. "But I'd say your chances of a fun weekend just got exponentially better -- at least in my head!"
Notes: 14-year-olds have gotten more and more sophisticated over time. When I was that age, we barely knew that there was a difference between the sexes. Kids grow up too fast these days! Comments are welcome to Steve at stevethomas535@hotmail.com. Thanks and -- Love, Steve