This is a work of pure fiction, but based on the author's feelings,beliefs, and in some cases, experience. Come to think of it -- it mightnot be all that pure! There may be graphic sexual encounters at timesbetween males, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If youare too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kindif story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - -ENJOY! Cast of characters:
Joshua Alan Black II Barbie Warfield -- my mother Dennis Warfield -- my stepfather
Richard -- My favorite Cousin Ray and Raul -- Richards' younger brothers.
Nate Willows -- My first roomie.
James Meriwether -- Mid-year Transfer
Seth Gary -- My therapist. Luke -- Seth's partner. (Lukamaiola Makamakahaiiolioli)
Jake -- Seth's Cousin Colin -- Jake's partner Uri -- Jake and Colin's Son Ursula -- Jake and Colin's Daughter
Chris -- Seth's brother Craig -- Chris's partner
Rob -- Seth's "big brother" (not really, but ... ) Denny -- Rob's partner. Greta -- one of Rob' and Denny's 4 kids.
Uncle Jake Smith -- Jakes father and the Smith Patriarch Aunt Lindy -- Jakes Mom Etta -- The Smith's housekeeper
Ren (Lawrence) Smith Family Friend Lenny (Leonard) Ren's partner.
Bobby -- Colin's brother
Donny -- Seth's patient Randy -- Donny's cousin
From Chapter 27:
"Come in, Donny!" Said Seth.
"I'm gonna ride Scout when we're done!" I heard him tell Seth. "Hot diggity!"
"Seth thinks this is a major breakthrough -- the riding and then -- the return of his cousin." Said Luke. "But he also is worried about how your relationship with Randy might affect Donny."
"Randy is pretty turned off to that. He doesn't see himself with a cousin."
"Still, you may want to tone it down when Donny is around."
"Hmm -- I suppose."
Chapter 28
After seeing Randy ride Button bareback, I made a decision. As gentle as Scout is, I thought that he'd feel closer to the horse riding bareback. I set her up with a rein and a riding pad -- as Randy had with Button, and helped the little guy up on her. He'd have to learn this by himself soon. As soon as we got going, me on Chocka, Donny wanted to run. I told him to just get used to walking first.
But again he was begging to run. "Donny, you don't even know how to make her run."
About that time he let his legs swing wide and brought them down hard on Scout's sides, and said "Go Scout!" She immediately sprang into a trot. I watched as if in slow motion, as Donny rotated to the side and fell off. He only had to drop to the ground, and none too softly either -- and Scout stopped and came back.
Donny got up and dusted himself off, then went and scratched Scout under her chin, and hugged her neck. I reminded Donny about what happened, when he felt like running again. But this time when he nudged her, she broke into an easy lope. I stayed behind him on Chocka. He was raring to go, indignant that I was holding him back.
All of a sudden Donny leaned forward and Scout took that to mean it's tome to jam! She jumped ahead with long strides, which Chocka could not hold with, so I let him run. He didn't have the stride that Scout had, but soon he was in a race for his life. As we passed Donny and Scout, I looked over and Donny was hugging Scout's neck, and holding on for HIS life -- and laughing hard, right in her ear, which egged her on.
If I had stopped Chocka, Scout no doubt would have at least slowed down and probably stopped altogether. She would have sensed something was wrong. I think she already sensed that she had to keep Donny on her back.
I passed Ryan and an older man, who were stopped at a creek. That slowed Scout and when I saw her stop, I turned Chocka and went back.
"Hi, Josh!" Said Ryan. "Looks like Scout has found a friend!"
Donny was off Scout and letting her drink. "Donny, this is Ryan Crayson -- from next door."
"Hello." He said, shyly and retreated behind Scout.
"Are you guys okay?" I asked.
"Oh yeah. We were out riding and decided to give the boys a drink. Have you met my dad?"
"Hi! I'm Joshua -- Joshua Black. You must be Ryan Senior."
A very attractive guy in his mid forties, I guessed, said "Hi! No, actually I'm Ryan's partner, Jack. Jack Smith."
"Great to finally meet -- well at least one of you!"
"Thanks for bringing our boy home!" At a look from Rye, he said, "He would have made it okay -- but it was nice to have someone to share the drive with, I'm sure."
"Sure was for me!" I said.
"It's nice to see someone out on Chocka. He and Button must have been getting cabin fever -- or whatever is a horse's equivalent.
"Yeah, Craig and Chris were happy to have us ride them."
"Well, we'd best be going. Harold will be cranky if we're late for dinner -- eh, Rye Guy?"
"Him or Pop!" Said Ryan. "Great to meetcha, Donny!"
Donny ignored them. "Donny's kinda shy." I said.
Donny peeked around Scout and waved. As soon as they were gone, he said, "Finally! Gotta pee!"
He didn't even bother turning around, but I was still glad that he felt at least comfortable peeing in front of me, but not strangers. When he was done, I was surprised that he grabbed the rein and hopped onto the big palomino's back by himself, then sat upright. "Aren't you gonna pee?" He asked.
"I'm good!" I said
"You're big!" he said.
"Huh?"
"Your dick -- it's big!"
"Yes, I suppose it is." I said, trying not to make anything more of it.
I turned around and proceeded the way we were headed. Donny rode beside me as we let the horses walk back. I talked most of the way, commenting on various things that we saw. When we got back, and we curried and stabled the horses, walking back, Donny said, "I like you!"
"I like you too, Donny."
"You don't treat me like I'm retarded or something."
"You're not."
"I know. I'm trying to -- to -- to -- learn how to live with what happened -- to me."
"That's good." I didn't know how much he wanted to talk, but I knew that this would be encouraging to Seth. If he told me anything really sacred to him, of course I'd not tell Seth, but only report that he was sharing with me..
"Do you know what happened?"
"Only that you were taken from your parents -- because of abuse."
"My father fucked me blind! He liked fucking me more than my mother. So she got even by making me fuck her. But when I got bigger -- she wouldn't let me do it any more."
"Have you told all this to Seth?"
"Sure -- but no one else."
"Wow!" I said.
As if reading my mind, he said, "I told you I like you."
"I know. And I don't take it for granted."
"I can talk -- to you."
"Yeah -- I noticed."
"I can talk to Seth -- too. I trust him. I trust you, too. But Seth is my doctor. I'm supposed to trust him. and he won't tell anyone because of the law." He said.
"That`s true." I thought about flood gates opening. Where was this going?
"But you don't have the law to keep you quiet. I trust you -- and Randy."
"Yeah, Randy is a good guy!" I said.
"He loves me."
"I know."
"You do?"
"He told me that you were very close before you were taken away from him."
"We were! He knows everything about me."
"Everything?"
"Everything important. I know everything about him too."
"You do?"
"We talked on the phone. What do you think about -- cousins -- fucking?"
"I think that there is another nicer way of talking about it."
"Huh?"
"That word -- is kind of -- harsh. Fuck. Not something that you do with your lover. Why do you ask?"
"Okay -- making love. Um - He told me that he kissed you."
Well ... THAT's awkward! "Is that okay?" I asked.
"I -- guess. But -- you don't know him like I do. You don't -- love him -- like I do."
"That's true."
"He doesn't think cousins should -- um -- you know."
"You mean make love? He doesn't think cousins should make love?"
"Yes. I do love Randy. And -- he loves me. Why does it matter if we're cousins?'
I thought about Richard. I answered him truthfully. "It shouldn't."
"My parents would not let me make any noise -- at all." He said, seemingly changing the subject.
"You couldn't play?"
"No, I mean -- when they -- um -- fucked me. I had to keep quiet. Don't look at me like that! There was no love there. Mum nearly suffocated me once -- because I made a noise. Father just slapped me."
"Geez!"
"I know! And I know how irrational it is -- that I let that keep me from talking to others."
"You're talking to me."
"But -- you love me. And -- I trust you." He said. "Are you taking me back?"
"After dinner."
"Are we gonna shower again?"
"We probably should."
We walked in silence the rest of the way back. When we got to the back door,
"I wanna shower with you." He said. He then hugged me and tried to kiss me. I pecked his lips. "I want you to -- um -- you know -- I know you love me!" He repeated.
"Donny -- we can't do that."
"Why -- why -- why? I love you too!" He pleaded.
I sat on the bench by the back door. I was desperate to say something that would not hurt him. "I -- um -- love you -- yes. But not like that. I am in love with someone else."
"Wh -- who?"
"My cousin."
"Shit!" He said. knew as soon as I saw his face that was the wrong thing to say. Seth told me he might come on to me, but I didn't expect it to be this way.
He continued, "Randy loves me too -- but he doesn't believe that cousins can be -- in love!" He said bitterly.
"Well!" Said Luke, opening the door. "You two finally got back! We decided to eat out tonight. We're going to a little restaurant between here and Donny's house, so we can drop him off after dinner."
"Let's go in and get cleaned up!" I said. I was trying to think of a way to tell Donny that we shouldn't shower together.
"Oh! Seth wants to talk to you, Josh -- maybe while Donny gets cleaned up!" Said Luke.
"Sure!" I said, not looking at Donny. He was again in his silent mode -- in front of Luke.
"How was your ride?" Asked Seth, when I got to his office.
"It was nice. Donny is a fast learner. I made him ride without a saddle."
"WHAT??!!"
"He's a natural! He seems to just become part of the horse. He dropped off once, but Scout seems to like him too -- and I'll swear she tries to keep him on her."
"Well -- I guess that's good! Did he open up any more to you?"
"Omigosh -- did he ever! It was hard to remember that he even has a problem. He talked my ear off and tried to talk my pants off!"
"So he came on to you? I thought he might."
"Well, yeah, but I didn't think he'd be so serious about it. I figured he might see me as a sex object -- but he thinks he loves me ... already! I'm afraid that -- even though he missed it -- I was making the same error that many do -- that he is mentally deficient. I'll never do that again -- not after today!"
"Further complicated by your recent fascination with Randy ... ?"
"(Sigh!)"
"Look, as you have already learned -- the hard way -- there's nothing wrong with Donny's mind. The problem is that he lives there most of the time. He has to get used to disappointment, along with everything else."
"Yeah, but -- I don't want to rub his face in it."
"Then ... don't."
"But -- randy told him that we kissed."
"In the first place, you can't control Randy and besides that, he probably told him that specifically to discourage him. Sometimes Donny doesn't want to take no for an answer."
"So -- you think it's okay to date Randy?"
"Sure -- and don't go out of your way to keep it secret. But don't -- as you said -- rub his face in it either. He may even ask you what you have done with Randy. Guess what? It's none of his business, is it?"
"Thanks."
"Luke told me that Donny saw the you two in the shower."
"We weren't doing anything." I said defensively.
"I know that! But Luke said that He gawked at your larger-than-life organ. He knows it's there -- and of course -- being sexed up as any 23-year-old, he'll be thinking of it every time he sees you -- dressed or not. Hee hee! It's hard for ME to forget it!"
"Yeah, and you're such an old fart!" I laughed.
"Speaking of farts - " he said, and he hollered up to Luke, "Luke! Is he out of the shower yet? This boy down here stinks!
"I do not!"
"Well, you smell more like a horse than a human! Go get showered and we'll go out to eat!" I walked off and he teased, "I'm getting hungrier by the minute, watching your sexy ass climb those stairs!"
I wiggled my butt and ran the rest of the way up, both of us laughing.
I was washing my hair when Donny again stepped in and took in my body. "I want that!" He said, boldly."
"You and about a hundred other guys!" I laughed. He didn't take it as funny.
"My cousin too -- probably! But we'll see who fucks him first!" He said, angrily and closed the door.
In two seconds, he came back in -- or rather was pushed back in - by Luke -- followed by Seth. Luke left.
"Donny -- you can't make Randy love you."
"But he DOES love me!"
"Yeah -- you have told me that. Just like Joshua's brother loves him. But his brother feels the same way as your cousin does."
"What?" Said Donny. "You want to fuck your brother? That's sick!"
"Oh -- so it's okay with a cousin -- but not a brother?" Said Seth.
"It's his brother! They have the same mother and father."
"Only the same father. And we didn't know that when we were ... doing that!" I defended.
"The point is -- his brother doesn't like the idea of brothers ... doing that -- just like Randy is creeped out about cousins.
It was very strange standing there under the shower, with a guy craving my body, and another I've dreamed about for months! But both of them were dressed! I turned around and rinsed my hair with my back to them. I was finished with that conversation. In reality, I was pretty angry at Donny myself. They left the shower room.
We drove and ate in silence. Finally, looking nervously between Luke, Seth and me, Donny said, "I'm sorry."
And when we dropped him off at the group home, he hugged me, and again whispered, "I really am sorry, Joshua. Can we ride again?"
I said "Sure!" and went to kiss his cheek. He quickly turned his face and got me on the lips -- and giggled.
"Bye." He again whispered. He waved to Seth, but ignored Luke.
As I drove away, Seth said, "Don't feel bad, Luke -- if he liked you. He'd probably want in your pants too! I know I would!" He paused a moment than said, "I'll be working with him on his social skills soon!"
The next night, Randy dropped over after work. "I brought my trunks this time!"
I called Craig. "Sure, any time. Will it just be the two of you again?"
"Yeah."
"We'll give you some privacy. Come any time." he said, and giggled. Craig is so funny! He's an older guy -- well, older than I am -- but he acts like a teenager!
"So -- I don't know what we'll do with your trunks -- we'll be alone this time." I said grinning.
"Can I leave them here -- in case we need them -- sometime?" He was also grinning.
"Teenagers!" Said Luke.
"Yeah -- they're pretty cute!" Said Seth, "But -- I don't think I want to go back!"
"Nnooooo -- and I'll thank you to not remind me of my own!"
"You guys!" Said Randy. "The teen years are the best!"
"Hah! You haven't experienced the 20's yet!"
"I think, " I said, "that after a night of hard work, you should definitely shower before going in someone else's swimming pool."
"Oh, I agree -- maybe you could remind me where your showers are?"
"Goof balls!" Said Luke.
"Can we come and watch?" Said Seth, hardly able to talk for his giggling.
They stayed in the den. We showered off our days sweat and grime -- and a few other substances that presented themselves during the shower, then went next door for a cool dip in the Balser pool.
Interestingly, Luke and Seth just keep their old names, but Denny took Rob's last name of Balser. I think Colin calls himself Thompson-Smith, and Jake, Smith-Thompson.
As we headed out for the pool, Luke said, "You guys must be REALLLLY clean."
"Yeah," added Seth, "You took a long time making sure everything was scrubbed, huh?"
"Or at least `rubbed', huh?" Said Luke.
"Yeah -- you two be sure to wait up for us ... and maybe we'll leave the door open again so you can hear how the kids do it! And don't watch any familiar porn!" I joked.
"You can have a copy any time you ask!" Said Seth, to a disapproving look from Luke.
"Just keep that handy -- I'll pass for now!" I said.
On our way over to Craig and Chris's, "What was all that about porn -- I`ve never watched any. Is it hot?"
"I guess it depends on who's in it." I said, mysteriously.
"Why -- who -- I amen -- are we talking about a certain - "
"It's nothing! Porn is porn1! Let's go swimming.
We couldn't play the grab-ass Marco Polo like we did with Chris and Craig, but we figured out our own grab-ass game! I think I like ours better: You grab more than asses and -- everyone wins! -- several times!
Okay -- in case you have an overactive imagination, we only were plying our own game of tag. Not exactly grab ASS tag, but in this game we couldn't leave the pool and we get to massage whatever we grabbed. I found that Randy REEEEEEALY knows how to massage shoulders. I showed him what a good glute massage feels like. That was almost more than he could stand.
When he grabbed Josh Junior, he showed me that since last time, he'd been visiting the internet a few times. I reciprocated and when we were tired of water games , we took the party back to my bed.
We kissed and cuddled, and as I already said, I didn't want to be the initiator of anything -- but let him set the pace. He was kissing my teats and sucking my arm pits -- something he admitted he read in a blogsite. I followed suit and when I was close to his navel, he gently pushed my head lower.
I still asked, "Do you want me to - ?"
He moaned his assent. I kissed the end of it. He moaned again, and pushed more insistently. I took him in. He gasped and thrust forward. And his long thin piece of meat slipped easily down my throat. From there, I pretty much gave him permission to finish it off himself. He thrusted faster and I grabbed his butt and pulled him all the way in -- then pulled off and sucked on his testicles -- one at a time. Again, he was right at the edge, so when I knew he couldn't hold out any longer, I clamped on again with my mouth and finished him off.
As we were cuddling, afterward, he said, "I don't mind that you are so experienced. I want to learn everything you can teach me."
"I think I would like to arrange that!" I said and kissed him again.
Oh -- and -- I've been wanting to tell you - since last time -- remember -- about that feeling of love? How sex makes it seem that way, anyway?"
"Yeah?" I said, knowing exactly how he was feeling -- because -- after all -- I was feeling it too.
"It -- never went away. I really -- um -- think I -- um -- love you!"
"Wo! Oh! I mean - "
"I know that you have seen so much more than I have -- and maybe you've seen some heartache besides, but - "
"No -- you don't -- I mean -- wait!" I said. "Randy -- I have been feeling -- I mean -- denying -- that -- well, you know -- that I have felt -- or I mean been -- um -- feeling the same. But -- Awww crap! I've been denying it to myself for so many reasons. Not the least of which -- I didn't want to hurt your cousin's feelings. But also -- it's too fast -- isn't it?"
"I dunno -- I only know what I feel. And when you told me that the feeling would go away -- by Wednesday I wondered how soon it should go away? How -- um -- wait a minute! My cousin? Has he been talking to you about him and me?"
"He's sure that you love him."
"Well -- for that matter -- um -- well -- yeah! But -- that can't be! He's my cousin!"
"Yeah." I said, almost too harshly.
"What?" He said.
"My brother -- feels the same way you do -- about brothers."
"Yeah -- you see? What's the difference?"
"Donny sees a difference. He thinks brother sex is disgusting."
"Me too. I don't see the difference. Brothers -- cousins -- it's like Ew!"
"Well, anyway -- I don't want to hurt Donny -- either -- so -- I guess that made me deny my feelings for you ... too. "
Randy kissed me deeply. Then he said, "Please don't! Don't deny your feelings -- for me! We have too much in common. So much that I almost FEEL like a brother to you -- but not in THAT way. I want you to teach me everything you know -- about everything. Not just sex -- everything!"
"Whew! There's so much to teach! I mean -- I`ve graduated from the university. Do you think that'll be a problem?"
"Only if you make it one."
"I don't care." I said.
"Good. Let's fuck!"
"You and your cousin have a thing about that word, don't you?" I said.
"What -- fuck? Nope! -- I only have a thing about what it represents."
"Well ... me too. And to me it means sex without any love or commitment"
"Well -- yeah - but -- oh.! It does?"
"To me it is like -- well -- vulgar way to talk about love. To me -- when two people have sex, it is to give more depth to their love. To just have it with any guy that comes along -- cheapens it -- that's how I view ... fucking."
"I see -- I mean -- I can somehow see that. I just never thought about it that way. I'd never think about my parents -- that way. They make love!"
I sighed. "Geez! Major de ja vu! I just had this conversation with your cousin a couple nights ago."
"Wo -- are you telling me that you and he - I mean you have -- ahem -- with Donny?"
"NO!" I said quickly.
"Did you kiss him?"
"Wellllll -- not on purpose!"
"What does that mean?"
"I just kissed his cheek when we said good bye the other night -- or thought I was. He turned his head and got my mouth."
"Yeah, he's sneaky like that."
"So he's done that to you too?"
"Well -- yeah -- but he -- didn't have to. We have kissed on the mouth for years. Kissin' cousins -- you know7 But that's where I draw the line!"
"Why?"
"Aw c'mon! Do I have to go over it again?"
"Nope. I just don't see it quite that way."
"How DO you see it?"
"Well, I guess I see it a little more logically. Why did they originally say brothers and sisters -- and cousins -- could not marry?"
"Because -- it's gross!"
"No -- it's because if they had children, there was too much chance that the child would be deformed -- or an idiot."
"Well, yeah." He said.
"Well, the rules change when you can't have children. Two guys can't have a child -- so what's the difference if they are brothers, cousins - "
"Or -- father and son?"
"Omigosh! Why bring that up?"
"Because it's the same thing. They can't make a baby, so that must be okay too. How about with my grandpa?"
I thought about that. You know -- you're right. But those scenarios are repugnant to ME. Okay -- I guess we just have to agree to disagree.
"Good! Let's fu -- er -- let's `make love', huh?"
"Let's just take it a step at a time. Okay?"
That night he begged me to let him go down on me. After shooting mine into his mouth (he couldn't take me down his throat ... yet!) he grimaced and swallowed it all. It was his first full strength taste of cum. He didn't spit it out! That HAS to be love.
Later on, I did him again but I showed him what it felt like to have his prostate massaged while I sucked him off. He nearly went out of his mind. He begged me to make love to him. "What do you think I've been doing?"
"You know what I mean!" He said.
"Let's save that for -- um -- a special occasion." I suggested. I know I left him a little frustrated, but -- I hope he'll appreciate the wait -- later. We both slept in the next morning. Seth and Luke seemed to know we wanted it that way.
Notes: Yeah, it made me horny too! So now we'll have to think of a way to relieve this condition. What's that? You already have? Good for you! Comments welcome -- to Steve at stevethomas535@hotmail.com. Thanks and ... Love, Steve