Growing Up Joshua

Growing up Joshua This is a work of pure fiction, but based on the author's feelings,beliefs, and in some cases, experience. Come to think of it -- it mightnot be all that pure! There may be graphic sexual encounters at timesbetween males, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If youare too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kindif story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - -ENJOY! Cast of characters:

Joshua Alan Black II Barbie Warfield -- my mother Dennis Warfield -- my stepfather

Richard -- My favorite Cousin Ray and Raul -- Richards' younger brothers.

Nate Willows -- My first roomie.

James Meriwether -- Mid-year Transfer

Seth Gary -- My therapist. Luke -- Seth's partner. (Lukamaiola Makamakahaiiolioli)

Jake -- Seth's Cousin Colin -- Jake's partner Uri -- Jake and Colin's Son Ursula -- Jake and Colin's Daughter

Chris -- Seth's brother Craig -- Chris's partner

Rob -- Seth's "big brother" (not really, but ... ) Denny -- Rob's partner. Greta -- one of Rob' and Denny's 4 kids.

Uncle Jake Smith -- Jakes father and the Smith Patriarch Aunt Lindy -- Jakes Mom Etta -- The Smith's housekeeper

Ren (Lawrence) Smith Family Friend Lenny (Leonard) Ren's partner.

Bobby -- Colin's brother

From Chapter 25:

Luke and I were the only ones in first class, on the flight back. Bobby and Ren went to LAX, while we went to Dallas, then on to Milwaukee. We kissed and cuddled all the way -- no cameras -- and the attendant -- a guy -- said he wished he could find a guy to be in love with -- as obviously as we were!

When it was over, we parted "lovers no more, friends forever". Easier to say than do!

Chapter 26

Melancholy.

That's how some may describe what I felt. I wondered ... "Is it my age? I know that I can never have either Luke or Seth, but why is it I always fall for someone I can't have?"

I did a lot of introspection. Seth said I could talk to him about it ... or not.

"The good news is -- you don't have any destructive feeling -- right?" He asked me -- when I decided to finally open up.

"No. Not destructive. And obviously, I didn't retreat back into myself like I did last year. I think I'm over that."

"I think you are too, Josh." Said Seth. "Or I wouldn't have put you in that position. Sometimes we have to gamble. I hope you can forgive me for gambling ... when it was you that had to pay."

"Oh, I wouldn't change anything! Seth -- I love you and -- well, I love both of you and - if what Luke and I did -- make you guys closer -- I'm happy. And you know what else?"

"What's that, Josh?"

"Being here ... with you two in the next room ... and seeing you together in the house ... I think that it really helps me stay in reality -- even if it sucks sometimes."

"Probably most of the time -- right now -- huh?"

"(Sigh!) Yeah ... uhhm - you didn't HAVE to go out of your way to point that out!"

Seth grinned. "But -- that's my job!"

"You suck!"

"Yes ... I do! But you don't need to concern yourself with my proclivities! Um -- well, as you said -- your surfing safari served both Luke and I very well. I suppose we should at least make the videos available to you -- if you want them. I don't advise it, under the circumstances."

"You know -- I'd like to know that I could have them if I wanted them. But not now, at least."

"Well, they'll always be available if you want."

"Have you -- um - "

"Oh yeah! We like some porn sometimes anyway. Those are not only hot -- but my sweet lover is in them."

"And -- it doesn't hurt you to see him with - - someone else?" I asked.

"A little, actually. But besides the fact that he's with someone I love -- probably way too much -- the good it has done far outweighs the downside. And you can probably guess what else it makes me crave."

"I don't even want to think about it." I said, unconsciously rubbing my crotch.

"I know. But we've seen to much consternation from our friends trying that. Threesomes seldom work -- as a steady diet. They can be fun for a time, but I've never seen it work out happily. It nearly split Colin and his brother up ... and it DID split up Colin and Jake -- for awhile."

"Do you believe in God?" I asked.

"Of course. There are too many things I don't understand. I can always attribute them to God -- can't I?"

"You mean like all the sad things that go on around the world -- that and the seemingly grossly evil people?"

"No." He said. "I mean like all the good things that I see happening, and all the good people who remain good -- even when those bad things are happening to them -- like you. You're such a good person -- and mostly on your way to becoming a good man. Yet there have been so many things that could have turned you in to the most negative person in the world."

"And then there's your own story." I said.

"Yeah. I should be dead -- several times."

"And yet here you are -- helping others like me."

"Have you read the Bible?" Seth asked me.

"Parts of it -- not much."

"I don't often get into this with clients, but you are so much more than a client -- to us -- to me! Before Jesus started his mission, he had to endure many things. It is told as a simple story, but I think he had to endure a lot more than the story says. I don't think any preacher worth his salt can be of much service to others unless he has experienced some of what his parishioners experienced.

"You mean he learned by experience?"

"Some experience -- enough to have empathy for us."

"Why does he allow bad things to happen -- like the devastation from firestorms or hurricanes?"

"I'm glad you said `allow'. I don't think he usually makes things like that happen. But I don't think we are here for the here and now."

"Huh?"

"I think this is just a temporary stop off for us. How we react here may determine what we will get in the next world."

"World?"

"World -- existence -- heaven -- call it what you like. Some people react in ways that will not get them very far in the next -- existence. We get very concerned about thousands dying in a natural disaster, and want to blame God. But when a man causes it -- like Hitler or Stalin -- then all of a sudden -- it's not God's fault any more. That doesn't make sense to me. God allows us both good and bad experiences. Who knows? Maybe he carefully chooses where he sends people, depending on what he knows about them before they are born."

"How can he know anyone before they are born?"

"Some say he knows everything. He knows how we will react to certain things."

"Do you believe that?" I asked.

"No -- not so much like that, anyway. I think he knows how we'll PROBABLY act, because he knew us before we were born -- here."

"Wow. You mean like he knew us -- somewhere else?"

"Oh -- somewhere else -- or some other dimension -- or something. And when we are born here, we carry all the memories of that other place -- or whatever -- in our DNA -- or something -- but we can't access it. But we have certain things we've preprogrammed into us -- that will make us `probably' react in certain ways. Some react very badly -- and do much evil in the world. Maybe they will get something less in the next place -- than someone who -- say -- chooses to return good for evil."

"Do you believe in the Devil?"

"I think maybe he is one who was evil in the place we came from. So God allows him to torment us -- if we let him. He's just another bad person -- but from another dimension or place -- before this existence."

"Who will win -- in the end?" I asked. "God or the Devil?"

Seth smiled. "I don't think the Devil has any power to win. God didn't create him evil, but God knows that when he creates anyone, they have the choice to be good or be evil. But I think all the power is on the good side."

"Why? How can you say that when it seems like most in the world are evil?"

"Do you really believe that? I don't. I believe that most people are good. If most people were evil, then maybe the devil WOULD win. But I think most people want God to win -- and they want to be on the side of good. They just get sidetracked sometimes -- maybe. Why did you ask about God -- anyway?"

"I just feel -- sometimes -- that there is something -- outside myself -- that is protecting me -- I mean besides you. Someone led Dennis to find you for me. Maybe you aren't the one to save everyone. Maybe you're only here to save a few of us, who can relate to you -- and your experience."

"Maybe -- I'd be very open to that explanation."

"Do you think he made us gay?" I asked.

I don't think he made us straight or gay -- any more than he made us evil or good. I just think we are what we are based on that prior reality that I think we may have come from, maybe combined with what happens to us here ... maybe."

"Does Luke believe like you do?"

"Luke has his own beliefs. They don't exactly coincide with mine, but they don't exactly conflict either. We just accept each other as we are. I'm not sure about the things I have told you -- they are mostly just impressions that I have gathered from my own life. Maybe each person has his own reality.

"One thing I know for sure, though: Each of us is the center of his own universe. We can try as much as we can, but egocentrism is our existence. If not, we would cease to be. If I do a lot of good -- a lot of selfless acts -- because I believe I'll be rewarded -- then it's still ME that I'm looking out for, isn't it?"

"Do you think Ryan next door has any chance of being gay?" I said.

"Haha1 That came out of the blue, didn't it? Well -- with both of his dads being gay -- you'd think he would, but I've known him since he was a teen, and though he has a very healthy attitude toward us -- he's as straight as anyone I know! I might say a lot more, but I have another client in five minutes. I need to study his chart. We'll talk some more. But the short answer to your last question is ... You WISH!" He laughed.

"Can I ask one more question? You can think about it and answer later. We've talked about it before, but -- what do you really think about brothers ... or cousins ... ?"

"I don't have any problem with it -- other than they have to live with whatever family repercussions that come up -- because of family prejudice. You -- still think about him a lot don't you?"

"Who?" I asked.

Seth put his hand on the back of my head and brought me eye to eye. "If you have to ask, then the question was moot. I know your brother has his own hang ups. I am referring to your cousin. You still think a lot about Richard -- don't you?"

I looked anywhere but in his eyes for a moment, then answered, "How can you know these things?"

"It's not rocket science. I saw how you reacted when you came back from Sacramento. I saw your hurt -- when you were asked not to come to the second reception. That kind of hurt doesn't just go away. That's another reason I felt you needed a diversion. Okay, get outa here! Donny deserves my complete attention too."

I walked out of the office and came face to face with a gorgeous boy -- I think he was a boy. "Hello!" I said, maybe a little too admiring. This kid was maybe 17 -- possibly a little older, had perfect skin, and what looked to be totally natural, stunning blond dreadlocks cascading down his face.

"Hello." he said, barely audible, never once looking up and quickly disappeared into the office.

"That one is a near basket case." Said Luke.

"Wow!"

"Donny was referred to Seth by the county -- five years ago. He was sexually abused by both parents when he was a preteen, and then his mother did an about face and completely ignored him when he started through puberty. His dad then -- while intensifying the sexual abuse, started to physically abuse him as well. He never touched his face, but he mutilated every other part of his body -- the parts that can hide under clothing."

"Oh my God! Where are the parents now?"

"Oh, all the county did was take Donny away. That's one thing about Vermont -- they don't much go for punishing sex offenders. That's why Seth's abusers were set free so quickly and when he met them on a ferry boat -- they pushed him into the ice cold lake, Both he and Chris nearly died from that. The guys are put away for life now, but not until they killed someone. They just don't see sexual abuse as bad as other abuse, somehow."

"What about the physical abuse?"

"It was Donny's word against theirs. They seldom take the word of the child here. Not reliable, they claim."

"What will happen to him when he turns eighteen?"

"Who -- Donny?"

"Well -- yeah, - "

"Donny is 23. He seems young because he lives most of the time in a regressed state. The County no longer pays, but Seth will not just send him out to be devoured by the wolves."

"The wolves?"

"Well, as you might guess, he's gay. And there are too many places where kids and adults meet around here. The Smith's have a big bash once a quarter. Open party. There is a code of conduct that is expected, but anyone can come. It`s sometimes quite a freak show. But Seth encourages it. He has saved a few from the wolves -- just by observing the wolves ... and the sheep -- there."

As we talked, we could see Seth chatting with Donny through the window. Donny never once would even look Seth in the eyes.

"Do you think that it bothers him that we are out here?"

"Probably just the exact opposite. "He probably feels more secure knowing there might be someone out here."

"Might be?"

"With the lights off as they are out here, neither of them can see us. Donny is afraid to be alone with anyone, male or female. He lives in a group home, and I can guarantee you, there are two people waiting for him out in the car."

"Is Seth's therapy doing anything at all?"

"Oh yeah. When he first started coming here, it was months before he would talk to Seth without his group home `parents' in attendance. Seth finally got enough trust that he let them wait -- at first right out here, and then out in the car."

"How often does he come?"

"Three times a week -- but he can only abide 15 minute sessions. He's the main reason Seth won't go away with me for more than a weekend once in awhile. When Seth went to you in Milwaukee, and decided to stay a week -- he talked to the kid every day -- to affirm and reaffirm that he'd be back. He'll never do that again."

Luke and I stayed in the front room talking for the time Donny was in the office. When he came out, Seth said, "Donny -- this is my friend, Joshua."

"Hello." He said again, quickly and almost a whisper.

"Donny, Joshua is only nineteen."

"Oh."

"You can look into his eyes, Donny. He's a very nice man. He's much younger than you are! I want you to look into his eyes."

Donny shot me a lightening fast look, then his eyes went back to the floor. "Remember what we talked about, Donny? If you want people to trust you -- you must look them in the eyes." Look at Luke. You know him."

Donny did the same with Luke as he had dome with me. "Donny -- I want you to try it again. I want you to look into Joshua's eyes while I count to three."

Donny's hands went to his face. Seth gently pulled them down. "Joshua has the kindest eyes I've ever seen, Donny. Give it a try."

Donny slowly -- fearfully raised his eyes up my body. He stopped only momentarily when he came to the large bulge in my pants, but his expression didn't change. When he got to my eyes, he peered into them like he was looking through me. "Donny -- you're doing it again. Look into his soul -- not past it."

He suddenly looked like he recognized me. "One -- two -- three" Seth counted slowly. "You see, that wasn't so hard -- Donny?" said Seth. He kept looking into my eyes, then seemed to let his eyes wander across my face then back to my eyes. I heard Seth whisper, "Oh this is good!"

"Do you want to tell Joshua anything, Donny?" He shook his head. "Okay -- you did well, Donny. Thank you for trying so hard."

Never once during this time did Donny look away. The he did something unexpected. He pulled his tee shirt slightly over his shoulder to re veal where (I could only assume) his father had burnt him with a cigarette. I couldn't help it. It brought tears to my eyes. Then he also started to tear up.

Suddenly he tore for the door. "See you in a couple days, Donny!" Seth hollered. Donny waved, but didn't look back as he opened the big front door. The he froze a moment, turned and looked at Seth. He jabbed his finger at me, his expression never once changing. "You wanna see Joshua again?" Said Seth.

He quickly nodded without looking up and slammed the door.

"I guess he likes you!" said Luke.

"He trusts him." Said Seth. "Donny saw something in Josh's eyes -- or something -- that he trusts. I know that with Josh's history -- he would not betray that trust!" Said Seth, sounding almost like a warning or ... admonishment. "Um -- do you think you'd like to help me with Donny a bit?"

"I -- g-guess."

"It'll be good fodder for later work that that you do in university, if you decide to follow that line. I advise you to keep copious notes."

"I -- um -- yeah, I can see that. And you don't have to tell me, Seth: I know that anything sexual is out."

"Yes -- even innuendo could be detrimental -- even if he initiates it ... and he might. He has with me."

Trudy came in. "Your sandwiches are ready. They're on the kitchen table, with some hot soup. There's lemonade in the fridge. If you want, I'll slice some tomatoes too, and there's potato salad there as well."

"You're eating with us -- aren't you, Trudy?" Asked Luke.

Trudy smiled sweetly. "No -- Ryan is taking me out to dinner tonight."

"Nice!" Said Seth. "Special occasion?"

"None that I am aware of. He just told me to wear something nice."

"We'll be checking for stains on his knees when you return!"

"Ohhh! Ha ha! I don't think we're that serious yet! Marriage is the furthest thing from Rye's mind!"

"I think you better get his opinion on that one!"

She turned red and said, "Well, anyway -- your dinner is ready. I need to get back home and get ready!"

"Have fun!"

After she left, Seth said, "I happen to know that Rye IS popping the question tonight. He was over here asking if I know about any rituals that Russians have that he should know about. I told him that a formal `on-the-knee' approach was always nice -- and of course to ask her father."

"Oh -- wow!" I said. "And he never even gave me a chance!" I laughed. "I'd like to pop something for him!"

"It would have to be his cherry!" Said Luke. "As far as we can tell, they're both virgins."

"Who is her father?"

"Like Rye, she has two -- Rob and Denny."

"Oho!" I said. "That has to be an ideal situation!"

"Why's that?" Asked Seth.

"No mother-in-law!"

"Oh, she has a mother alright! Those kids' mothers live in casitas behind the big houses. The kids stay with them a lot when they are small, less as they get older. Colin and Jake, and Rob and Denny -- none feels like they can be a mother to the kids. The kids' mothers had given them up to an orphanage, when their biological dads were killed in one of the wars following the collapse of the Soviet Union. The women were too impoverished to care for the children." Said Luke.

"Not only that -- but the two women are sisters, so the kids are all related!"

"How many are there again?"

"Jake and Colin have two, and Rob and Denny have four." Continued Seth. "They thought about having Craig and Chris take 2, but Rob didn't want the siblings split up - "

" -- and Craig and Chris were not necessarily really to adopt." Said Luke.

"We don't need to be judging people like that, Luka!" Said Seth.

"Who's judging? WE'RE not ready, are we?"

"You're gonna make a great Daddy some day, Lukamaiola Makamakahaiiolioli!"

"I'm not so sure!" Said Luke. "And -- you almost sound like a Hawaiian - - Haole!"

"Luke's afraid he will revert to the man his father was. That's not gonna happen, Luka!" Said Seth, then turned to me, "Luke's father -- as well as Luke himself -- was in the line of the kings."

"Hah! Do you know how many can claim that? Let me tell you a lot of my relatives still use that ploy regularly to control their children: `You should not act that way; you are in the line of the kings!' they say. I was an embarrassment to my father -- even though no one knew! Thank God he never became King!"

"From what I have read, the Hawaiian royalty were very wonderful people." I said.

"Yeah, as long as you don't look too close. Before the white man came, any baby that was not beautiful would be tossed into the sea. I probably would have been sacrificed -- they did that too!"

"All of which has no bearing on how good a daddy you will be -- when that time comes!" Reiterated Seth.

"We better get out to that soup before it becomes vichyssoise!" Said Luke.

While we ate our sandwiches and reheated soup, there was a knock at the back door. "Come on in, Carlos." Said Luke. "Carlos is about the only one who uses this entrance -- he or Ryan -- and Rye usually calls first!"

Carlos stepped in and removed his cap. "I feeneesh weeth Jack and Ryan's work. Deed you say you wanted something donn?"

"Carlos! Good! Yes, I noticed some mildew or something in the eaves on the north side of the house. It may need to be sprayed. You remember Joshua?"

"Si! Y mas!" He grinned at me. Hola, meester Joshua!"

At my dumb look, Seth said, "He more than just remembers you!" I looked at him and he gave me a delicious smile that I remembered from the first time we met. We both blushed.

Luke quipped, "I think that Joshua may have something that needs fixing up in his bedroom, Carlos!"

Carlos looked at me expectantly. I was flustered. "Oh -- er- ahah! I -- um -- well, I could probably find something!" We all laughed.

"I weel spray for the mildew. I think the swallows are all gone -- do you want me to knock down their nests?"

Luke gave Carlos several more tasks to complete, and he was out the door, but not before flashing me another of his winning smiles.

"I think he likes you!" Said Luke.

"He is pretty cute!" I said. "But he looks a little old for me. I think Rye told me he was 30."

"Something like that. But there's something else that Luke is not telling you."

Luke laughed and added, "Well, his 4 kids and wife live way across the county!"

"That's good to know. I won't hit on him." I said. "Obviously he seems to be a little bi ... He doesn't need that kind of temptation."

"Or ... maybe he's just smart enough to know what his employers like!" Said Seth. "By the way, Donny sometimes gets his caretakers to just bring him by to hang out. When I have another client, I send him upstairs to watch the tube. He gets morose seeing me with anyone else."

"Maybe he won't since he seems to be interested in Josh."

"I wouldn't be so fast to make that jump, Luka. But he definitely felt a connection. I'll ask him about it on Friday."

"Why does he come over here?" I asked.

"The other guys in the group home hit on him a lot and his caretakers just -- for their own sanity -- need to get him away from them. He has to be continually watched there. But he is extremely respectful of space and things when he's here. And -- of course -- very quiet. I'm hoping that maybe you can draw him out a little. I don't want you to try to be his doctor. You can just be a non-threatening friend. He needs that. To some he seems mentally retarded. He's not. He's socially retarded."

I felt non-committal about school. I knew that Seth wanted me to go. I never felt any bad vibes from him toward Luke -- for not further pursuing his education -- and he didn't put pressure on me either, but it was clear that he wanted me to do something. And I felt like I wanted to, too -- just maybe not quite yet.

Ambivalence -- that's the word! And I didn't quite admit it, but I missed having someone special. So even though I didn't jump all over Seth's suggestion, I secretly -- not really even knowing why myself -- relished the idea of helping Donny.

"Here's what's planned for today:" Said Seth, the next time Donny was due. "I have an older guy that I have scheduled for 12:30 -- to 1:30. That will go overtime. Donny is scheduled to get here at 1:00, so he'll have a bit of a wait. When he arrives, you be in the living room already. Just make small talk. He'll probably answer in monosyllabic sentences. That's okay.

Donny arrived. I was already in the living room seated. When he was let in, after I knew he saw me, I got up. "Hello." I said.

"Hello." Said Donny, quickly dropping his eyes to the floor.

"You're Donny. I met you last week. Do you remember me? I'm - "

"Joshua." He said, stealing a glance upward to me, past his eyebrows and through the blond curls cascading down his face. I immediately thought of Tarzan's "boy" before outsiders came. In that quick glance I saw fear, interest and maybe something else.

"Yes -- you did remember. I'm pleased. I like you." I said.

He didn't look up but I think there was a hint of a smile. He seemed to be studying his hands intently. I started again, "Did you know that I am seeing Seth too?"?

"Oh."

I think he's a good doctor." I said.

"Uh-huh." (Two syllables!)

"Are you from around here?"

"Uh-huh."

"I'm from Milwaukee."

"Oh."

"But before that I was from California -- Sacramento area."

"Oh."

"Have you ever been to California?"

"No."

"How about Wisconsin?"

He shook his head then said, "I was in new York once."

That was all I got out of him that day. I was afraid to freak him out my saying too much. The next visit was pretty much the same, but there was something different. Seth told me later that he was dressed more carefully than ever before. "I expect he did that for you. If he is in something other than a plain tee shirt and old blue jeans next time, compliment him."

The next time he came it was one of those unscheduled visits. I saw the car from the group home from the second floor window. I quickly pulled a shirt on and went down and sat on the couch. When he was let in, he came in and this time instead of taking the chair on the other side of the room, he came to my couch and sat -- on the other end of it.

"Hi, Donny."

"Hello - - - Joshua." He said, letting his eyes meet mine as he said my name, then back down to his hands, which were decidedly folded in his lap.

"You don't have an appointment today, do you? I asked.

"No."

"You look very nice! It's nice out -- would you like to go for a walk?"

He nodded and almost ran for the door. When I didn't follow immediately, he turned and stared at me. I arose and followed. He went out the door and waited for me. As soon as we were out the door, he took my hand -- like a two year old might. We walked around the house and then over toward Rob's and Denny's. It was mid-day, so Rob's pool was full of several screaming kids. "Do you wanna go swimming?"

"No."

As we passed the pool area, he looked longingly, so I repeated my question. "No!" he said more emphatically.

"Okay. I thought you looked interested, was all."

"No swim suit."

"Oh!" I said. "I have some boxers you can wear."

He looked deeply into my eyes, then said, "Not today."

"Okay. What would you like to do? Anything besides walking?"

He nodded. "Horses!" and his face seemed more animated than I'd ever seen it.

I walked him back to Rob's stables, and there was an Arab in one of the paddocks. As we neared, he snorted and ran back into his stable. But as if on cue, a big palomino sauntered out of another cubicle and into his paddock. When he saw us he snuffled his nose, and walked closer to the fence. "Hi there Scout." I said. His ears pricked up when he heard his name. I had never been here yet, but his name was inscribed on a wooden plaque atop his cubicle door.

We walked up to the fence and Scout trotted over and snorted again. Donny put his hand out and Scout sniffed it and whinnied softly. Donny looked around almost frantically. He spied some tall weeds near by and plucked some of them. He walked back and offered them to Scout. He sniffed and then retrieved the offered treat with his lips.

"The grass is always greener, Huh?" Came a voice from behind me. That made Donny jump and he ran to my other side, startling Scout as well. Donny was trying to hide from the intruder. I recognized him as one of the Ukrainian kids. "Hi, you're Joshua! I remember from the party. I'm Uri." He said in a slightly accented tongue. He peeked around me and said, "Scout must like you! She won't just take food from anyone!" Uri was quite stunning, and even blonder than Donny, with equally long curly locks.

"I think he's talking to you, Donny. He says - "

"I know!" Said Donny.

"This is Donny, Uri. Donny -- shake hands with Uri."

Donny meekly and shyly walked out from behind me and Uri extended his hand. "Donny's kind of shy." I said, then to Donny I said, "Uri lives here."

"Actually I live next door. But we all keep our horses here at Uncle Rob's."

"It this your horse?" I asked.

"Naw! Mine's the chestnut Arab. That belongs to my cousin. She's afraid of her. Scout is pretty lonely."

"Really?" I said.

"You wanna ride?" Asked Uri, looking directly at Donny. Donny shook his head nervously, and turned around.

"Have you ever ridden a horse, Donny?" I asked. Again he shook his head. "If I lead the horse, do you want to -- ride?"

Donny looked deeply into my eyes, as if to be seeing if I was kidding or not, then into Uri's.

"How good a rider are you, Joshua?"

"My neighbor back in California had a very spirited Black Arab that I rode all the time -- but that was when I was 13." I said.

"It's like riding a bike -- you don't forget. And Scout is not that wild. She's gentle -- that's why Uncle rob gave her to Veronika -- and she's big enough for both of you."

I turned to Donny. "You wanna ride?" He broke into a grin and nodded enthusiastically.

Both Uri and Donny seemed excited. Uri was very happy that someone wanted to ride Scout. He went into the paddock and Scout followed him into the cubicle. In no time, he came out the stable door, with her all saddled up.

I took the rein and told Donny how to mount Scout. "I think I'll just lead her at first." I said.

"She won't mind both of you on her."

"This is for Donny's sake." I said. "Hold on, Donny!" I said.

I walked around and Uri said, when you're finished, just put her back in her cubicle -- I'll unsaddle her."

"I can do that!" I said.

"Good -- just hang her saddle on the partition opposite her cubicle. You'll see where it goes."

I led Scout -- with Donny atop her -- all around the four main houses, then when I led her around back of Seth's we saw the car from the group home.

"Shit!" Said Donny. The first time I heard him say anything so emphatically. When I led him on Scout to the car, the window came down. His group home mother said, apologetically, "We have to take him home." "Can I bring him home later?" I pleaded.

She looked at her husband and said something. She looked up at Donny. "Would you like to stay a little longer -- and have -- this man -- being you home?" I laughed inside when she called me that!

Donny enthusiastically nodded.

"He needs to be back by five to get ready for dinner. He'll be pretty smelly after this, I suppose."

"Could he stay for dinner?" I asked.

She looked at me suspiciously and said, "Just a minute." She made a call and then turned back and said, "He may stay -- but should be back before ten." And they left.

This was the first time I heard Donny laugh!

Notes: You can speculate all you want -- I don't know where this came from but ... it seems to be working -- for me! Any comments are welcome ... to Steve at stevethomas535@hotmail.com. Thanks and love, Steve