This story contains gay themes and graphic depictions of homosexuality. If this offends you, then you probably shouldn't read it. I welcome any and all comments and appreciate all of the feedback I have previously received. I'd also like to say thanks to the folks at Nifty
That night was a very long one. I got into the hotel at around 3A.M. I practically fell into bed, but I didn't sleep. I thought about "my giant" for the first time in a long time. It suddenly came to me why I was really there. I loved Chris. I lusted after him. I needed him to know that. Somehow I was going to have to make him understand that he was the one. But I also needed to let him know about the others. He was the man I wanted to be with, but I also needed the other guys. I liked to get fucked but I wanted to fuck also. Would he understand that? I spent a lot of the rest of the night pondering that question. When I awoke Saturday morning, it was after 8. I got up and took a shower. I shaved and brushed my teeth carefully. I studied myself in the mirror. I was okay looking. I had nice legs and a good ass. I needed to work more on my abs, but, otherwise I was a bit of a looker. I got dressed. I brought out the big guns. I had brought my best jeans. I wanted Chris to notice everything when he first saw me. I called a cab and left for his Mom's house. The neighborhood was a working class neighborhood. It was clean and very urban. Some kids were playing on the streets. I started to sweat. I had planned what I wanted to say, but it felt like I was going to be addressing a crowd. Would his Mom be there? Any siblings? Did they even know he was gay? Shit! Maybe I shouldn't be doing this. I thought. Too late. The cab pulled up in front of a small house with a neatly manicure lawn. It was an old house but you could tell someone had put a lot of love into it. The old exterior looked freshly painted and the lawn furniture on the porch was clean. I walked up to the front door and rang the bell. A small child of about seven or eight peeked through a crack in the door. He looked like a smaller version of Chris. The same soft eyes the same smile. I asked him if Chris was home. He called out to his Mom and then a beautiful woman came to the door. She appeared to be in her late forties. I smiled and explained to her that I was a friend of Chris' from Colorado. She smiled back. "You must be Parker" she said. "Yes, how." I began. "Chris talks about you incessantly." she said. I was relieved. She opened the door and invited me in. We went down the hall, passing several small rooms, which I assumed were bedrooms. We ended up in a small kitchen. There were three more children in addition to the little boy I saw earlier. I said hello to the children and took a seat at the table. Chris' mom brought me a cup of coffee and sat down. She looked at me. "You're not what I expected" she said. "I'm not?" I asked. "No" she replied. She explained that through Chris' description she had developed a mental image of what she thought I'd look like. I told her I hoped she wasn't disappointed. She said no and sent the children outside. Once they were gone we had a serious conversation. Chris, she told me, was a very big part of their family. He represented a father image to the kids and was her best friend. He sacrificed a lot to go to college and she didn't intend to see him blow that. I wasn't sure what she meant by that. I had no intention of making him give up college. I knew how important that was. I explained that I wasn't really sure where I stood with Chris. She looked at me with a mother's eyes. "Of course you do, that's why you're here." I was taken aback. She was a very wise woman. She had raised four children and she had learned from that. She read me like a book. I just wish I knew how he felt about me. I told her. "I won't presume that you're stupid, and I know you're fishing," she started "but I think you already know the answers to all of your questions." She was right. I just needed to hear it from someone else. We talked some more as I waited for Chris. I learned that she had gotten pregnant with Chris when she was very young and that his father had left them. She had met another man and married when he was still a boy, but he was abusive and though she tried to stay with him for the sake of the children, she became worried that he would start to hit the children. She left him and never looked back. From that moment Chris took over the role of Father. He looked after the kids as she worked three jobs to support them. My respect was tremendous. This was a true queen. Like most black women, she had sacrificed everything for the sake of her children. Somewhere in my mind, I told myself, I would have to find a way to help her. I didn't know how just then, but I would do something. Suddenly there was a commotion outside. I could hear the children squealing.
"Chris is home" his mom announced. I walked to the front of the house and looked through the front window. I could see Chris surrounded by children. Not just his brothers and sisters, but, five or six other children. The kids really loved him. He had a child in each arm, and a little boy I didn't recognize was clinging to one leg. Chris was all smiles as he played with the kids. It was obvious he loved kids. I couldn't help but smile to myself. There was something contagious about his playfulness. I had a sudden urge to run out and join him, but I stayed inside and watched. After a couple of minutes his Mom went and told him he had a guest. He walked through the door and his expression was not what I anticipated. He seemed neither surprised, nor genuinely pleased to see me. There was a moment when we were there with his Mom where I was embarrassed. After his Mom excused herself, he confronted me. The first question threw me. "Why did you come here?" I looked at him. I tried to read his face. He was different here. He was more mature. He was the father here. I was definitely intruding. "I. I came to see you" I stammered. "Why?" it was more of a demand then a question. "You left so suddenly without saying goodbye. I guess I was concerned" I began. "I can see that was a mistake now." I wanted to leave. His demeanor had changed dramatically from when he was outside playing with the kids. "You should go" he said. I fought back tears. "Yeah" I said. I was moving toward the door. "You just gonna leave?" his Mom asked. "I'm sorry?" I responded. "Are you just gonna walk away" she repeated. "I don't think." I began. "Chris doesn't always know what's best for him" she said. She was talking to me but, she was looking at Chris. "He's been trying to be a father, a mentor, and a provider for so long, he's forgotten how to be himself." she said. "Mom." Chris began. "You go and talk to that boy" she said. He looked at her. It was obvious he listened to her. "Come on" he said to me. I mouthed the words Thank you to his Mom as I followed him outside. Kids came from everywhere. He explained to the kids that he had to go for a walk and he'd be back in a little while. The child that had been clinging to his leg looked heartbroken. Chris knelt down and picked him up. He promised him that he would take him for ice cream when he came back. The boy walked over to one of Chris' brothers and sat quietly as we walked away. The other kids were more verbal. Someone asked who I was. Chris told them I was a friend. As we walked away they all began to chant "Chris has a boyfriend." It's funny how kids totally don't understand the complexities of same sex relationships. "My Mom likes you" he said out of the blue as we walked toward a small park. "She's a beautiful woman, and a strong woman" I said "She's had to endure a lot" he said. "I won't put her through this" "Chris I didn't come here to put you or your Mom out" I said. "Why did you come?" he asked. I stopped and looked at him, he needed to know. "I love you." I finally said.
(To be continued)