Title: Goldilocks and the Four Sparkly Dance Boys
Author: Parlance
Email address: par_lance1@yahoo.com
Website: http://www.geocities.com/par_lance1
Direct links: http://www.geocities.com/par_lance1/gold/index.html and
http://www.geocities.com/par_lance1/gold/goldilocks.html for storybook version with preeeeetty pictures... whenever Geocities let's you get to it. :-P
Feedback: Honest, constructive feedback always appreciated. Flames will be applied to JC's mullet.
Rating: PG-13 verging on a mild R
Fandom: Nsync
Pairing: Group Slut Fic featuring my all-around favorite little slut, Lance.
Date: Finished November 16, 2002
Status: Complete.
Category: Real Person Slash. AU - Fantasy. Humor. Fluff.
Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me. Don't read if you aren't old enough to do so.
Summary: Gather around, kiddies, it's bedtime! A retelling of Goldilocks and the Three Bears, the quintessential tale of a cute blonde getting away with murder.
Warnings: None. Everyone depicted is a consensual adult even if the timeline doesn't fit. Very much a fairy tale on crack, so please read in that spirit.
Archive: Please ask first.
A shout out to Morgenfryd from the Nsync Slash Writers Workshop for beta'ing! And much love to the boyskanks, but especially to Cat for the late-night inspiration.
Once upon a time there was a family of four sparkly dance boys - Chris, Joey, JC and Justin -- who lived in a cozy cottage in the Magic Kingdom. Theirs was already a happy family, but something was missing. They lived in near-perfect harmony but they sought just one more special element to make them complete.
One morning, the sparkly dance boys were not feeling very sparkly, as they were hung-over and recovering from a night of late partying. They slept soundly well into the morning. The eldest and youngest of the sparkly dance boys were the first to stir so they could play video games on their brand new Playstation 2. After an hour or two, they were mighty hungry. But all they had in the house was hot and cold cereal (it was JC's turn to do the shopping, and he tended to be rather cheap). Justin had a bowl of Cinnamon Apple Jacks. Chris made himself a bowl of chocolate Malt-o-Meal, his favorite comfort food. Chris took one bite of the still-steaming Malt-o-Meal.
"Thit!" he yelled. "Ah burn by tong!"
"Dude, you still need someone to teach you how to eat a bowl of oatmeal?"
"Thuck you. Ah'm getting thumpin' at McBonal's."
Grumbling, the eldest sparkly dance boy left the house in search of food that was unlike to cause serious injury while the youngest ambled back to his room for a nap.
On the way to McDonald's, Chris stopped by a record store and lost all track of time. He forgot about his hunger and, most importantly, he forgot about an appointment he had made to complete his search for the fifth sparkly dance boy.
Not long after Chris left, a pretty young man with lovely green eyes and locks of (mostly) gold by the name of Lance came upon the house. He knocked on the door, but there was no answer. It turned out that in his quest for food, Chris forgot not only about his meeting with Lance, but also about locking the door behind him. After waiting patiently, Lance noticed that the door was cracked and, figuring that perhaps these sparkly dance boys were really laid back, he took the open door as an invitation to enter.
"Hello? Hello?" Lance called out, but nobody answered. Lance shrugged and decided to make himself at home and wait. At first he sat down on the couch, but he sunk low into the couch until only his feet and bottle-blonde highlights peeked out from over the edge.
"This feels like a garage sale cast-off," Lance muttered to himself as he struggled out of the man-eating sofa. "This couch is much too soft!"
Then Lance sat down on a metal folding chair - a recent JC acquisition. But Lance immediately found himself almost missing the comfort of the sofa. "Much too hard for the Bass Ass!" he thought. "Must have been stolen from a concert."
Lance then spotted a bean bag. "Comfy but not too comfy," he thought. It seemed just right. Unfortunately, Lance flopped down so hard that the bean bag burst, and the pellets flew out of the chair.
"Oops," Lance said to himself, and hastily flipped the bag over so the hole would not show.
After the chair fiasco, Lance thought it best to sit on the floor, far from any cheap furniture. He kept still for awhile, but then he became bored and fidgety. He spotted a Playstation 2 console with a game already popped in. Lance lovingly caressed the joystick and finally gave in to temptation He was pretty good too. He firmly grasped the joystick, gritted his teeth and played fervently - much too fervently. He juggled around the joystick until he heard a crack and the joystick would move no longer.
"Oh dear!" Lance thought. "It's okay, it's just the joystick."
At that moment, Lance's stomach growled; he hadn't yet eaten. So, he tossed the broken part on the floor with the TV still on and strolled towards the kitchen to forage for food.
Lance found a bowl of chocolate Malt-o-Meal on the table. He produced a clean spoon from the drawer and took a bite. He gagged. "This is much too cold!" Lance abandoned the bowl with the spoon still standing in it.
Undaunted, Lance looked in the cabinet for something else, and found a box of wheat germ. He opened it and sniffed. "Much too disgusting even to try," Lance thought, so he left the open box on the counter.
Next, he found a box of Cinnamon Apple Jacks. Lance had never tried that flavor, so he poured himself a bowl and helped himself to some milk. He really liked the cereal ("This is just right!") and he gobbled up two bowls!
There was a handful of nuggets left in the box, so Lance munched on those and threw away the box. Lance replaced the carton of milk in the fridge, figuring it was only polite to leave the last remaining gulp for his hosts.
Lance checked his watch; Chris was now an hour late for their meeting. Lance wondered if perhaps he was still in his room. So he crept up the stairs and knocked on the first door he saw. When he opened the door, he found a beautiful curly-haired sparkly dance boy sound asleep. He was wearing only his pajama bottoms, and he had a six-pack to die for.
"Chris?" Lance whispered softly. The sleeping figure groaned but did not respond. Lance stared wistfully at the sparkly dance boy's full, pouty lips and he began to feel pretty horny. Within moments, Lance threw off his clothes and took full advantage of his gracious hosts' hospitality.
The curly-haired man awoke instantly and was at once fearful. But he immediately fell under the spell of Lance's intense green eyes and kissed him passionately. Lance was especially delighted to find that he was tight, tight, tight as a virgin.
Lance soon found, however, that the young man was not to his liking. He was far too muscular and his body offered no give whatsoever. To make matters worse, he was more concerned with showing off his special moves than with satisfying his partner. "Much too egotistical!" Lance thought.
Lance found the sparkly dance boy to be a disappointing lay and he left the hapless youth to finish himself off.
Still naked, Lance approached the second door in the hallway. Inside was another, more slender sparkly dance boy, slightly older than the first, with dark wavy hair. He was already sitting at his desk - in brand spanking-new white underwear and socks - penning a song. As soon as the two men caught sight of each other, Lance was caught by the spell of the other man's piercing blue eyes, and in turn the sparkly dance boy was rendered helpless before the (mostly) blonde's gaze. They fell upon each other with abandon.
Lance learned that this particular sparkly dance boy was much more eager to please his partner than the first. Perhaps too eager. After five minutes of lovemaking, he was already making out a list of wedding guests. "Far too clingy!" Lance thought.
To top it all off, the second sparkly dance boy was bony and angular and left Lance with accidental bruises and cuts. Lance decided to leave well enough alone as he pried himself from the embrace of the sparkly dance boy as his pretty blue eyes welled with tears.
Still horny as hell, Lance made one last attempt to satisfy his needs and knocked on the third door. Asleep was another dark-haired sparkly dance boy, but this one was much more burly than the second. And he had facial hair - a particular weakness of Lance's. When the third sparkly dance boy awoke, Lance found that he had the warmest brown eyes he had ever seen on a man. To Lance's delight, he was already naked under the covers, so he had easy access.
Lance liked this one most of all. He was soft and pliant in all the right areas. He was giving, but not clingy. He gave a mean blowjob. And best of all, he was not too tight, not too loose, not too big, not too small.
This one fit just right.
An hour and a half later, Chris returned to the house, huffing and puffing, having suddenly remembered that he was late for an interview. When he arrived at the door he saw that, oh no! someone had broken into the house! Chris hurried in, knowing he would never forgive himself if something awful happened to his younger brothers.
But what he found weren't signs of carnage or burglary, but rather evidence of a careless houseguest. The TV was on, but no one was there to watch it. Someone had made a deep dent in the sofa. JC's metal chair had bent from the weight of an enormous ass. A trail of bean bag pellets lead to a torn chair. And worst of all, someone had broken Chris' beloved Playstation 2!
Already peeved, Chris marched into the kitchen and found his bowl of Malt-o-Meal with two spoons sticking out of the middle, an open box of wheat germ and an empty box Cinnamon Apple Jacks in the trash. Chris prayed that it was Justin himself who finished the precious box of Apple Jacks rather than a soon-to-be unfortunate interloper.
Chris was afraid to go upstairs to see what awaited him. He knocked on Justin's door and found two very pissed off and sexually frustrated sparkly dance boys.
"What's going on here?!" Chris bellowed. "Someone tore up our furniture, broke my friggin' Playstation, and ate up all the cereal!"
"And he won't finish what he started. He's a tease!" JC added mournfully.
"The cereal's all gone?!" Justin demanded. "Well, that does it. I know just where he is!"
Three disgruntled sparkly dance boys (two of them still in the buff) kicked open the door to Joey's room and found Lance and Joey peacefully spooned together. They both stirred immediately. As soon as Lance opened his beautiful, shimmering green eyes, every furious word they were prepared to express died in their throats. The anger faded from their faces, and JC was smiling again.
"Hey, guys," Joey greeted his fellow sparkly dance boys as he hugged Lance to him. "Is this our new guy?
He's cute. Can we keep him?"
"I- I don't know," Chris stuttered. He had something terribly important to say but he completely forgot whatever it was as he watched the lissome green-eyed vixen stretch out cat-like in Joey's arms. "Can you sing?" Chris asked him.
"Yes, of course. I sing bass," Lance replied.
"Hmmmm... turns out we need a bass. Can you dance?"
"Not really."
"You can learn. But..." Chris added, his memory still fuzzy, "you caused damage to our house."
"I'm sorry," Lance replied as he licked his lips. "I promise I'll pay my way somehow."
"Well, that's good enough for me," Chris decided. The others nodded their heads in agreement. With that, all four boys pounced simultaneously on the (mostly) golden-locked beauty and officially welcomed him as their newest sparkly dance boy.
And they all lived deliriously happy ever after.
The End