Picture perfect. That's the right fucking word to describe this...this damn wallet sized picture I'm holding. No wonder I can't get this thing off of my hands. It's like a drug! I have to see it at least once a day or I'd explode to bits and pieces from temptation. What's in this picture?! Well it might sound really weird, not to me 'cuz...well it's a long long story and I researched about it in libraries, but it's a cute blonde haired guy! Not a just a normal blonde haired blue eyed guy, but like a damn hot model!
See, I met this gorgeous teenager in this skiing trip my family and I went to last four weeks ago. We stayed for about three weeks or so. So I had time to get to know some girl or someone there to talk and to go ski with. Guess who was in the cafe sitting alone in this couch drinking coffee or capuccino? No not him, it was this girl who was I guess the same age as I am. So yeah, I hid all the fears away and strut my stuff. She felt for it and like a minute after we were talking about oh I don't know, I think it was skiing equipments. I know, what a lame topic to pick for a conversation!
We were talking and talking then suddenly, there's this guy who just sat beside her. Yeah! That blonde hair guy! I was like so attracted to him that it took me long enough to find out that she was trying to introduce me to him! I was like shocked! It's her twin brother! They look nothing alike except the natural bleached hair colour. That's what she told me. He shook my hand and said his name to me, Patrick. Like, wow! He looks awesome even though he was all bundled up and the only skin he was showing was his face, ears, hands and that's it. He also has a cool name. What stroke of luck.
For the rest of that vacation, I was always with Patrick all day long. In the morning, afternoon...not night though since like, he was staying in his hotel which was like five blocks from mine...until the last day. He met me in my hotel before I left and he was like really looking forward seeing me again. Yeah I know...wow! That almost sent me to cloud number nine just hearing him tumbling up with the words! Plus, he gave me a picture of him and a number in the back so I'll remember him and call him sometime.
Now, I'm sitting here trying to not gratify myself since my friends were home. I just stared at Patrick's picture. I'll just desribe it to you guys. He's sitting on this tall stool in a bar or something and he was wearing a blue cargo pants and a simple white t-shirt one size too big. His blonde hair hung down just straight above his eyebrows. His blue eyes sparkled from the camera light. He was smiling like...like an angel! He had a small dimple in his right cheek. He showed mostly all his perfect white teeth while he was smiling.
It's his smile that really creates the fireworks within me. It looks so simple, but when you give another look, he really has a sweet smile that just sends you to perpetual bliss. I wish I was still back in his hotel... hello? Ms. Fairy, this is suppose to be your cue to come out and say 'your wish is granted!'
"Look at Blue! I bet something down there is gasping for air!"
Oh yeah, by the way, my name's Blue. Yes Blue, kinda streak huh? My mom was about to call me Peach when she thought that I was a girl, 'cuz well, my little birdie down there was really shy when I was forced out of my mom. Thank God I'm a guy! Anyway, I'm still young, just turned 15 last two months ago. Now I'm about 5'7" tall, a pretty okay size for a young guy like me, I have hazel eyes and my hair is I guess brown to dark.
Yeah anyway the one who just joked about me is my bestfriend Dave. Don't let the looks fool you. Sure he's like tall and build! MAJOR BUILD! Like, he almost looks like HULK in a sexy, horny, hunky way. Sure he's the school's jock, can easily beat a crap out of anyone who pissess of his friends, but inside that tough skin, that thick headed skull, he's a really nice, warming and loving person. Emotionally, he's really soft! Go figure.
I admit I used to really like that guy. I don't know...guess I really liked beefy guys back then. With his shoulder length, pony-tailed deep dark brown hair and his blue eyes I just couldn't resist him back then. Especially when I found his 'soft' side! Ah, dreamy stud! That's Dave for sure! You wouldn't believe how desperate I was! Heh, I even outed to him! Well not in purpose, I mean I was kinda accidentally spilled some info here and there and I didn't know he was smart enough to find out about it. He was sorta weird at the idea first then he started to be okay with it and soon we were bestest best friends again.
I never told him I like him though, that'll be forever locked up in me. I don't want him to know! I mean who's gonna be back up when I get into fights?! But I gotta admit, it did make us sorta closer to each other, in a friendship way though. I could finally almost tell him everything what I feel rather than faking which girl I like and all that crap.
"Yeah! Just look at him drool all over it!" a girl said while polishing her thumb nail. That's Nancy. Normal looking girl. I've known her for like six months only but now she's one of my best friends...and she knows about me. I don't know how but she did! She didn't care. All she cared about was I'd better not steal any of her boyfriends. "Geez! How many times did we see him looking at the picture? I lost count."
That's James. Average... but really weird! Blonde spiked haired gothic guy. Wearing everything black and chanting stupid spells! Then again, he can be an asshole sometimes but yeah, he's ok...and he knows about me, long story and it was a really bad joke that me and Dave did to him. So practically, these 3 guys are sorta my small group or gang if you like to call it that way. Nancy's sorta the leader since she's so persistant and very dominant, Dave's the guardman and me and James are the only one who has the brains.
So there I was staring at the piture and letting them mock at me. It is true though! I've been looking at this pic non stop already! Everytime they're here in my bedroom, they always see this picture on my hand. Anything that comes out of my mouth, it's always something about Patrick. Patrick this Patrick that. What'd they expect for a desperate guy like me?!
"Dudes, will you all stop it? You don't know how much this guy means to me," I begged while my eyes drooled on Patrick. Nancy giggled, "I think we know how much this guy is to you 'cuz since you came back from your ski trip, your mouth won't shut up about Patrick! Patrick has this cute nose! Patrick has slender hips! Wah wah Patrick! I want Patrick! Fuck Patrick man! You know if I get my hands on that picture, I'll shredd'em to pieces! You hear?!"
Well that was a bit vulgar for her. I guess I really talk about him too much! James continued, "She's just joking dude, but it is true and it's getting to be soo annoying hearing the word Patrick all over and over and over...well you get my drift."
"Well jeez sorry Mr. Lonely guy! I guess you don't know how cool it is to be...in love!"
"Now it's the love word! Oh my god!" Nancy exclaimed while polishing her other nail. James agreed, "Yeah! But seriously, I thought it was you two that were gonna hit it off!"
"Me and who?" I asked curiously.
"You and...Mr. Hunk beside you!" he said smiling while Nancy giggled. I blushed major bad and I looked beside me where Dave was sitting down the same position on my bed. He was only wearing a khakis and a tank top that exposed his shoulder muscle. He objected quickly, "Dude I'm straight as a pole man! Beside, he's my best friend!"
"Well, you never know. Straight guys sometimes goes out with their same kind!"
"Screw you, James!"
"Just telling you the facts!" James said raising his shoulders. I didn't say anything. I mean I still like Dave, undoubtly I do, eventhough I tried so hard to give it up 'cuz I know there's no chance between him and me. I've known that a long time ago ever since I told him the real me. I just can't get over him. I do love him very much but I guess it's one of those times where you just can't reach what you really ever wanted in your whole life and it itches you everyday to get one so bad. So I gave up. But yes, I do like Patrick, a lot! I mean every passing moment that I don't see him, my feeling towards him just keeps on growing and growing.
"Ever tried calling him?" Nancy asked. "ARE YOU CRAZY?!!! OF COURSE NOT!!! I mean look, yeah he gave me his phone number and he lives like, in the other side of this city! I don't want to screw his life and make him come here. I-I don't want to. No way man! NO WAY!!!"
Suddenly, I felt the bed rumble just as Dave went on his fours and started poking my side tickling me like crazy. I started giggling and moving away from him but just got closer and closer until finally was in the corner getting tickled. "I know why you don't want call him! Afraid that boogy man's gonna hunt down and kill you if you do! I'll take care of him!"
"GIGGLES stop that!GIGGLES stop!" I begged pushing his hands away from tickling me again and again while my other hand held the picture from getting wrinkled. But he just shoved himself hard to tickle me. I laughed and laughed and was feeling good from feeling his nice chest and nice abs from behind.
But then just as I slowly lost grip on the picture, he quickly snatched it away from my hand and quickly tossed it to Nancy shouting, "HERE! Number's on the back! Call now!"
I've been trick! I struggled to be released but his arms that wrapped around my body held me tight close to him and his feet held my legs down. I was like totally stuck there so I just gave up and enjoyed the 'touching' moment. His head rest on my right shoulder and I could feel his hot breaths on my neck while he panted, "Just give up man! I don't want to hurt you! We're only trying to help you out. Nancy? Dialed the number yet?"
"Shut up! Someone's picking up...Hi! Can I speak to umm...Patrick please? ...alright we'll wait! Oh, his friend Blue wants to talk to him...alright thanks!"
Dave loosened his tight grip on me unwrapping his arms around me which I disliked since I liked how his arms gave warmth aroudn me and how I loved how his chest expanded and contract blowing warm breaths that ran across my neck to my chest. I took the phone as my heartbeat raced so fast. My finger tingled wanting to hang up the phone. After a few seconds, I heard someone picking up the phone. "Hello?"
It felt like I was lift up to cloud 9 just hearing his voice again. I tried to say hey but my voice suddenly became mute. My friends realized it and started giggling. "Hello? Is anyone there?"
"H-Hey Patrick," I said trying hard to make it sound normal.
"Blue? Shit Blue is that you?!" he asked enthusiastically. I was amazed. He was waiting for me to call! That gave me enough courage to continue. "Yeah it's me! How ya' doin'?"
"Well for one thing I've been waiting for you phone call for a long long time! I thought you weren't ever gonna call!"
"I'm totally sorry! You see...I've been..busy," I said lying. My friends gave me a bad look and Nancy smacked my head. "Oh from what?"
I sat down on the seat where Nancy was sitting before. A smile was plastered on my face while tlaking to him. It was soo good to hear his voice again. It was a bit deeper in tone than before but it's probably the phone or something. We talked on and on for oh, two hours? I think I lost track but I do know it was already night time and James had left when Patrick had to go on the other line. "Blue, it's really hype talking to you again. Look, you wanna...you know, go out sometime and watch a movie or something...if you're not busy I mean."
Him?! Asking ME out?! I put the phone handle on the desk and told Dave and Nancy while covering the phone so he won't hear. "Somebody pinch me!"
Nancy giggled and pinched my leg with her nicely polished nails. I gave out a quiet ow before getting back on the phone. "Hello? Are you there? Is something wrong?"
"Oh...uh...nothing. So where do you want to go?" I asked feeling jumpy inside. He went into a long pause before saying, "How about that new musical performance on the new theatre opening on Saturday?"
I gasped and yiped on the phone. I didn't know he also liked Musical shows like me! I was saving up money to watch it but I didn't even had half of what I needed. Shit, I can't go. Wish I was rich. He heard me and he giggled, "What's wrong?"
"I-I can't afford it. It's way costly man!"
"S'okay I'll treat you. My mom knows a guy that knows a guy that knows a guy and gave us a lot of tickets front row opening tickets. My parents gave me bunch of tickets but I didn't know who liked it as much as I do and I was hoping that you like musical shows."
"Are you serious? I love musical show and I was trying to save up money for a measly back row tickets. You're gonna treat me? Me? A guy who practically almost in welfare who can't even afford a ticket there?! Are you jokin'?!" I asked almost shouting. He laughed in the other line. "Yeah you! So is it a 'date'?"
"Well Prince Charming, I'd love to go with you."
"Cool! So where should we meet?" he said sounding happy.
"How about in front of the theatre before it starts...but I totally don't know where the theatre is again." I insisted. "How about me and my parents pick you up at your house?"
"Hey that's cool! Pick me up at 77 Howard St. at 7?"
"Okay, look I really got to go. My dad cooked and he wants me to eat before it gets cold."
"Alright, have fun on the toilet! Bye Patrick."
"Bye Blue."
I waited until I didn't hear him then I whispered, "God you're sooo cute!"
"Hahahhah!! Blue! You are sooo in love with that guy!" Nancy shouted as I hung up the phone. Dave laughed also, "Didn't you see him go crazy when he was talking to him? So where you two guys going for your lovely smoochy first date?"
"Sigh...the opening of that musical show thing! He's paying for my ticket! And he's picking me up! Isn't that romantic?!"
"Paying for you?! What?! That guy's must be a millionaire! None of my boyfriends had ever spend like hundred plus dollars on a date with me! This IS sooo like a special date!" Nancy said making a goofy smiled. "Naw, it's not. Patrick's parents are coming."
"Oh," they both said in unison. I really didn't care if his parents did come or not. As long as I get to see his face again the night'd be a bliss.
I had to go through two slow awful days of boring school before the so called date my friends wants to think. I also had to buy clothes from the mall that would look okay for a theatre experience. My friends helped out since I wasn't really good at picking my own clothes. We must've went to so many different kinds of malls since I ran out of bus tickets and had to buy new ones. David and Nancy went me to pick out the clothes and James went off to buy the preferable cologne that he thinks will suit me well.
I know I know. I'm sorta taking this theatre thing a little bit too far eventhough I know it's just a get together thing. I just wanted to look good. It's been a long time since I saw him and I wanted to make a good impression when he sees me again. Finally, I bought everything that I needed. I bought a nice suede shoes which the girl in the counter said I should put this weird oil to protect it from ice, rain and salt...I bought it just in case since the shoes was so expensive! I bought this really nice black cargo pants which used white string stitches to stick the pockets on the sides and a black v-neck sweatshirt.
"No! Don't make the pants look too baggy! You'll look like a gang guy if you do!" she said pulling up my pants a little tightning my belt. Okay this is way way off! It's only a get together thing not a blind date!! I messed my hair up and pushed my pants down until the crotch part was hanging between my legs. Nancy screamed, "No! My beautiful work! That's it! Date's over!"
"Will you stop it! It's not a date. He just wants to see me again and maybe grab a bite to eat."
I grabbed the comb from her hand and combed my hair the way I always do. I looked at myself at the mirror and I smiled at myself. Personally, I really didn't look bad with this clothes and all. I look...okay. Enough to get me turned on by my own looks! I saw Dave at the reflected mirror smiling like he got 'some' last night or something. I turned around and smiled, "You like what you see?!"
He nodded like he was hypnotized or something. "Oh yeah, definitely...wow! For a gay guy like you...you look hot! I mean...I love you!"
"Thanks for the compliment man! Now...there's something missing. Make up? earrings? Mascara?" I asked turning around to look back at the mirror. Nancy latched a silver watch around me that look mighty expensive. "Here. I found this watch in your drawer."
It was almost 7 pm and Nancy left and Dave was lying behind me on the couch flipping the channel back and forth trying to find something good to watch. I kept on checking my watch to see what time it was. It was already 7 and he still isn't here. I started to get worried. What if this was all a sham or a joke? Or maybe his parents suddenly took a wrong turn and crashed on a wall or something?
He pushed my arm down. "He's gonna come soon don't worry."
I snuggled closer to him and waited for Patrick to ring the bell. I started fidgeting and moving around which annoyed Dave since he was just behind me. Finally someone rang the bell and automatically, I rose up. I whispered quite happily to Dave, "He's here! He's here! Oh my god, oh my god! What should I do?!"
"Opening the door is a start!" he said a bit harsh but I guess he was just pissed at me being too hyped up about this. He grabbed his coat on the coffee table covering his loose tank top which practically showed every skin of his body if it was one more size bigger. He went on the back door and said to me before leaving, "Have fun."
The doorbell rang again. Slowly, I took a deep breath and walked on the front door. The chimes jiggled as I opened the door wide open. There he was! He looks way awesome today! He cut his hair shorter and he got a little bit taller. He had nice clothes on and the plastered grin on his face melted my heart. Somebody pinch me! Is this for real?! He's actually in my front steps. Oh my god! Oh my god! Easy Blue, it's only Patrick, the most gorgeous man on earth who can use me any time he wants. "Hey Blue! Long time no see!"
"H-cough Cough hi!" I said nervously. My fingers shook a little and my armpits felt like it was sweating like someone had just turned the heater up. "Sorry I'm late! I had to wait for someone! It took like forever!"
"Oh don't worry! I was a little bit late too! I kinda took a long time in the shower n' stuff!" I explained lying a little. He snickered. I gave him a weird look. "Wha'?"
"Sorry! I really have a sick mind! Well let's go. Don't want my parents to wait in the van," he said. I blushed a little as I got on my shoes, locked the door, and followed him in his van which was just right in front of us. Surprisingly, I saw a teenage girl inside the van talking to his parents. It wasn't his twin sister. She look gorgeous and if I was a straight ass guy I would've fallen in love. He went on the back and sat beside her as I sat beside him. She kissed him in the cheek. She whispered which I heard loud and clear, "Miss you already luv."
"Sorry ling," he whispered following with a peck in the lips but she pushed him away. "giggles You haven't introduced me to ur 'friend' yet!"
"Oh yeah!" He said to me pointing at the girl, "Blue, this is my 'girlfriend' Noria."
The moment I heard the girlfriend word, it was like I don't know...fuck... like someone got a sledge hammer and started smashing my heart into bits and pieces. I was too shock to even say a word. Everything and I mean EVERYTHING I thought of him suddenly just scrunched up and was thrown in the recycling bin. All that weeks of thinking and falling in love with him...I just wasted my time all along? Why does it have to be this way? Whenever I try something too hard I always get the lost. Why am I always the one who never gets lucky?
I...I give up. Another one broke my heart. I just don't see what's the reason for this. I just don't see it. It's too hard to take all those broken pieces in the ground and remold it to what it's suppose to look like. Whenever I put it back together, I never see the same one. It always get worst. Pieces are missing, it begins to be more fragile, and it's texture becomes rougher. My battered, beaten heart is already beaten...no more.
"Pleasure to meet you Noria, I'm Blue," I said calmly offering my hand for a handshake. She smiled and took my hand. "Pleasure to meet you too Blue! You really have a cool name!"
"Thanks. I get that a lot!" I said smiling. I didn't pretend. I was smiling 'cuz I wanted to. She was a sweet young 'lady' and she had a really sweet smile that would make anyone smile. Even me. Her shoulder length layered honey blonde hair swung as she turned around to look at a cute puppy walking in the other side of the street. Her smile widened pointing at that little thing saying how cute it was and how she wanted to buy one when she settles down and make a family, which was not far too off since Patrick might 'be' the one for him.
I couldn't say that I did like the musical show. They as in Patrick and his girlfriend weren't that noisy but I just couldn't concentrate. Like I was brain dead. I know he's not gay and all now because of his girlfriend and how they act, but I just can't remove that feeling that he might be trying to make me jealous or just trying to use her for something. I guess it's the only thing left in me that wouldn't give up on him.
Two hours or so, the show finished and soon everyone was applauding while the actors bowed repeatedly on the stage. It was already eleven pm as I looked out of the tinted window of the van as I stared at the other cars that passed by us. I heard Patrick and his girlfriend chatted away like a couple without letting me in their conversations. Even if they wanted me to, I'd still look away to avoid them both. Somehow I felt like I've been wasting my time all along having a major infatuation with him and right now, I feel so bad. I feel like being a third wheel tonight. If I knew that he would've brought someone like her, then I wouldn't have went.
I took off the car when I reached my house and thanked them for the free ticket they gave me. They all smiled and Patrick slapped in the back and said loudly goodbye. I smiled back trying to see the 'friend' in him rather than the back stabbing asshole which my mind labeled him. His van drove off and left me standing alone on the sidewalk with my hands tucked in my pants.
Slowly, I walked to my porch trying to forget about Patrick, or should I say trying to give up Patrick since it looked like there was no way he liked me. I took my keys out of my pocket until someone put a hand on my shoulder. I jumped and my heart beated so fast as I turned around in fear. Instinct made me hit the guy straight at his face. He squirmed and held me easily with his hand. Shit! It was Dave! "Holy Jesus! I'm so sorry! Are you okay?! You totally freaked me out!"
"You pack quite a wallop there! That really hurt," he said touching the spot where I hit him. I giggled and my hand automatically touched the spot too where my hand twined with his. He blushed. I asked almost in a whisper, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah...but let's not talk about me. Let's talk about you!" he said. "Oh you wouldn't want to know!"
"Oh? What happened?" he said a bit gloomy. For about 5 minutes, I managed to cramp in a whole 3 hours of story. We sat there on the bench beside my door telling every single detail what had happen just an hour ago. He said quietly, "I'm sorry."
"For what?" I asked. He said, "You know, for making you call Patrick and realizing in the end that you're not well...you know...not really expecting what you wanted to expect from him."
"No actually, it's better this way. This case, I wouldn't have to worry about wether he does like me or not rather than running after me and finding out maybe in the next 15 years or so he wasn't really...you know...THAT," I said looking at his pants. I continued, "Well, I'd better go. I have to wake up early tomorrow. You know, for my usual stuff."
We both stood up and faced each other. We didn't say anything as we both waited for one of us to say the goodbye to end the night off. Instead, he spread his arms around and said, "C'mere."
I grinned and went towards him. His arms wrapped around me feeling the great warmth he radiated. Slowly, my arms also locked around him. I felt his body widening as he breathed slowly. I sighed and this feeling towards me went off the chart scale again. He backed away a bit but not letting his arms that was around me go.
"Feeling better?" He quietly asked giving a bashful grin. We stared at each other quietly. I didn't say anything. 'I' I couldn't say anything. I was too into the fact that I was loving him a lot again that I couldn't even understand or hear what he was hearing. It exploded. My feelings towards him I mean. I inched myself closer to his face and...kissed him. REALLY FAST! Once my lips felt his lips on mine, I quickly backed away. But I was unable to do so since he now he hugging me tightly close to him with his lips slowly grinding mine. I...I was in a utopia state that time. My head was banging with delight as I felt and KNEW that his two pink lustful lips was actually locked into mine! He kissed me again, and again before regretfully, he backed away for a bit. His ears were red and his cheeks faintly made a red glow. "Well...goodnight."
"Good....night..." I said unable to breath. He smiled and pulled me closer again to kiss me. He walked down the street backwards looking straight at me with a smile on his face. I stayed on the porch looking at him before finally, he looked like an ant in my perspective view. I sat back down the bench slowly trying to process the information slowly into my head. Confused as ever, I whispered to myself, "What a weird night."