GIVING SMITHY A BUM-JOB by Robert Furlong
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robert.furlong@rocketmail.com dirty-shorts.tumblr.com
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He kept going on about how hard-up he was. How he hadn't had his cock up an arse for however long it was and how his balls were so blue that a fart would get him off.
Me and Biggsy kept laughing at how desperate he was acting but I kind of felt sorry for him in a stupid sort of way. Smithy's the only bender we know in our dead-end little town, and it can't be easy for him to meet up with other blokes when he fancies having himself some bum fun.
So then Biggsy goes and says, "Why can't you just fuck a girl when you get horny? There's plenty 'round here who'd be up for it."
I nearly choked on my blow that made me laugh so much. I mean, Biggsy's always half-baked at the best of times, but get a bit of weed in him and I swear he's cock-a-doodle-do.
"He's fucking gay, you dick-squirt," I managed to blurt out through my fits of giggles. "He wants his knob up an arse, not up some tart's vagoo!"
"I didn't mean up her muff!" Biggsy barked over at me. "I meant up her arse - the right sort of girl would let you do that, Smithy mate!"
"I'm not gonna shag some girl up her skanky arse," Smithy said back, looking dead funny he was so outraged by the suggestion that he would. "I want a fit lad's chuff around my knob... I wanna see his muscly buns and smell his hairy crack while I'm sliding my cock in and out of his dookie..."
"Loadsa girls 'round here have muscly buns and hairy cracks," Biggsy chuckled.
"It's got to be a bloke, seriously mate," Smithy grinned back at him. "I wanna reach underneath him and wank his prick off while I fuck him... there's not many girls I could that to, is there?"
"Oh I dunno..." Biggsy laughed. "Pick one up on the Powell Estate and anything's possible!"
"Is that what you do then?" I asked him, interested in how it worked when gay lads were shagging each other. "Wank him off while you're bumming him up the arse?"
"Of course you do!" Smithy snapped, looking irritated that I could be so stupid as not to know that. "He's got to enjoy it too, mate. You've got to wank him off... it'd be selfish not to."
"But doesn't he enjoy having your cock up inside him?" I asked.
"Well yeah... he does," Smith said, looking less pissed off now that he could see I was genuinely intrigued. "I mean, it does feel kinda nice..."
"Have you had a dick up you?" Biggsy cut in. I was pleased he'd asked that - I'd always wondered it myself. Smithy went on and on about bending blokes over and banging them up their brown-eyes, but he never said much about doing it the other way too.
Thinking about the question, he took a draw of his joint and slowly exhaled. Biggsy turned the telly down a few notches so we didn't miss his answer.
"I do take it sometimes, yeah," he said. "And when I do it that way, I usually enjoy it..."
"But you prefer being the one looking at the back of the other guy's head?" Biggsy grinned.
"Yeah, that usually works better for me," Smithy chuckled back. "At least when there's two of us... when there's three blokes, it's best being the one in the middle!"
That made me and Biggsy laugh for ages - the blow we'd got was top-notch stuff - but I couldn't help but wonder if Smithy really had picked up two guys at once.
"Are you for real, mate?" I called over to him when Biggsy had finally stopped giggling like a derf. "You've actually copped off with two lads at the same time?"
"A couple of times, yeah," Smithy grinned. I knew he wouldn't be telling us this if he wasn't so ripped. "You remember that stag do I went on in Blackpool last year...?"
We both grinned wide-eyed. Jesus, if I looked as gormless as Biggsy did when I was high, I'd really have to start laying off the stuff.
"I picked up a couple of blokes there and the three of us did it in one of their hotel rooms. Fucking stunk the place out we did... shagging each other every which way!"
"Aw Jesus," Biggsy chortled. "Three dicks and not a pussy in sight! What a fucking waste..."
"That's the whole point!" Smithy laughed. "Who needs a pussy when you've got three tight little arseholes to play with!"
"Blokes' arses, though," Biggsy said back. "All hairy and shitty..."
I could see Biggsy was pretty much on the opposite end of the sexuality spectrum from where Smithy had landed up.
"Seriously mate," Smithy grinned over at him indulgently. "Another lad's arse is as horny as fuck when you're buried ball-deep up it and it's squeezing your porker as tight as a vice!"
Biggsy looked unconvinced but I couldn't help but laugh. I said, "You sure like getting your cock up another fella's grizzly!"
Smithy smiled over. "I'm getting a fucking bone-on over here, all this talk of shagging blokes up their butts! I'm fucking desperate, mate - it's been way too long!"
"How long has it been?" I asked him.
"Six months," he said, "and that was just a quickie with some old geezer in the park."
"Why don't you just wank off when you're in the shower?" Biggsy asked, like it really could be just a simple as that!
"I'm sick of tossing myself off," Smithy grumbled. "I need a hot, sticky arsehole champing at my poker... a nice furry crack to watch my schlong sliding in and out of..."
Smithy stared over at Biggsy and I guess his eyes must have wandered a little lower down on his body than Biggsy had expected.
"No fucking way, mate!" Biggsy bellowed, laughing hysterically. "You ain't getting your fucking dong anywhere near my virgin shitter!"
I peered over, not really getting it at first, and Biggsy kept laughing and called over to me, "He's checking me out between my legs! Eyeing up between my thighs like he wants to shove his gay woodie up my clampster!"
Smithy laughed too. "Sorry mate, but it's driving me up the wall! Two lovely little arseholes you're both sitting on, and neither of them up for having some fun!"
"You'd really wanna bum us?" Biggsy grinned at him. "We're your two best mates and you'd wanna bend us over and shag us up our arses?"
"Of course I fucking would," Smithy admitted with a smirk. I knew that there was no way he would be telling us this if he hadn't taken half a bag of weed into his lungs already. "You're both pretty fit and I bet you've got a gorgeous pair of hot brown mussies hiding away down the backs of your kecks!"
"Aw, you dirty bastard!" Biggsy laughed uproariously. He was pretending like he was shocked but I could tell he was loving this really. "You're not serious are you?"
Smithy grabbed at the front of his jeans and made it obvious that he was flying at full mast underneath the blue material. "I'm about eight inches of serious, mate!"
"Fuck me!" Biggsy chortled. "Have you seen this, Gabe? He's got a big fuck-off dong in his pants and it's horny for our two crud-boxes!"
"It's hardly surprising," I said back, grinning at them both. "He's gay and here's us two lads right next to him with our tight little poopers between our cakes... it's no wonder, really, that's he's getting horned-up thinking about one of us giving him a piggy-back!"
"You have no idea, Gabe," Smithy said, looking genuinely agitated. "My bollocks are aching and I keep jizzing off in my sleep, I'm so horny!"
"All for the sake of getting your dick up an arse...?"
"That's all I need, mate... a little brown bullseye just to work my cock in and out of... just for a few fucking seconds... just until I've cum..."
I was about to say something that I knew Biggsy would never let me forget, when he interrupted me by feeling the need to tell us both, "If I was gonna do gay stuff, I reckon I'd be like you, Smithy - I'd want my dick up the other guy's arse. I don't fancy all the kissy-cuddly stuff and there's no way in fuck I'm gonna bend over to get bummed by some other fella's knob."
Smithy wasn't much interested in that and instead turned to ask me, "What about you, Gabe? What would you wanna do if you were with another bloke?"
"I dunno," I shrugged. "I ain't ever really thought about it."
"Would you wanna bend over for another fella?" he persisted.
"I dunno," I said again. "I suppose... in a way... if you're gonna do gay stuff you might as well do something you can't do with a girl..."
"You wanna get your arse fucked, Gabe?" Biggsy chortled, taking the piss, and I was wishing that he wasn't with us the way things had started heading.
"I'm just saying that there's no point doing stuff you could do with a girl... you should try doing something different... see what it feels like..."
"So let's get this straight," Biggsy chuckled. "Smithy over here - our resident gay boy - is desperate to nut off up some bloke's hairy arse..."
"Me balls are so fucking full, mate," Smithy snivelled, laying it on thick. "The elastic on my Calvins is making them chaffe red raw..."
"And Gabe over on this side," Biggsy went on, "has come over all bi-curious tonight... so off his head that he wouldn't mind having a sausage sliding up his shit chute..."
"I didn't say that," I countered. "And I'm not so stoned that I don't know what I'm doing..."
"You said you wouldn't mind seeing what it feels like," Biggsy reminded me.
"Well, yeah... but..."
I couldn't think of how to respond to that so I just stared at Smithy hoping he'd help me out.
Instead he looked serious and muttered, "You'd be doing me a hell of a favour, mate..."
My brain told my mouth to say, "Dream on, Smithy, it ain't gonna happen." Instead I heard my tongue forming the slightly different sentence: "And you reckon it'll take just a minute or so...?"
"If that," Smithy nodded. "And I'll owe you big-time, dude."
"Oh my God!" Biggsy laughed. "You guys cannot be serious!"
"It's got fuck all to do with you!" Smithy barked at him, more aggressively than I'd ever heard him speak to anyone. "It's just one guy helping his mate out, that's all!"
"Except I'm gonna have to watch it! Watch you getting his shit all over your cock!"
"Well, piss off back home then!" Smithy snapped at him. "We're not asking for an audience!"
"No, I reckon I'll stay put," Biggsy sneered. "Might teach me a bit of stuff they didn't tell us about in sex ed!"
Smithy didn't force it: if it came to a fight we both knew Biggsy could take him. Smithy was a big bloke but Biggsy had more dirty tricks up his sleeve.
So Smithy backed down but saved face by adding, "If you film us on your phone, I'll smash the thing. I swear to God."
Biggsy kept sneering. "Yeah, like I'd wanna see it twice!"
Smithy turned back to me and said, his face looking almost pleading by now, "This is so good of you, Gabe. There's nothing gay in it... I want you to know that, mate..."
I should have said - if the whole brain-to-mouth circuit had been working properly - that it had been a stupid joke and of course I wouldn't let him roger my fucking arse. But instead I heard myself say, "So how do we do it? Do I get on the floor or something?"
"Yeah, just get on all-fours and pull the back of your jeans down. Pretend like you're squeezing a shit out and it'll all be over before you know I'm even up there!"
"Bit of high class porn this!" Biggsy chuckled and we both glared at him to butt the fuck out.
Say you're going to get more cans, then grab your coat and sod off home, my brain was telling me. Instead, I did as Smithy had asked and kneeled down on the floor, bending forwards to support myself with both hands on the sticky carpet.
"Right, pull the back of your kecks down," Smithy commanded, undoing his fly. "If you want me to wank you off, pull the front down too."
"It's like Mills and Boon," Biggsy quipped but this time we both just ignored him.
I undid my belt and yanked my jeans and boxers down a bit. I wanted him to wank me off - my cock was already semi at the thought of having a bloke who'd know what he was doing giving me a hand-job.
"Oh my God," Biggsy laughed. "You're not gonna push your dick into that godawful thing... tell me you're not!"
"What's wrong with it?" Smithy bit back, grappling his hard-on out through his fly. "It's a hot piece of tush..."
"No way is it! It's spotty and flabby with a skanky crack that looks like it stinks to high fuck..."
"Is it that bad?" I asked, swivelling my head around to look at Smithy.
"There's nothing wrong with it," he said abruptly, reaching forwards to run his fingers between my cheeks, all the way from the backs of my bollocks right up inside my trench to where it levelled out at the bottom of my spine.
Before I could ask him what the hell he thought he was doing, he raised his fingers to his nose and sniffed them deeply.
"Aw Jesus Christ!" he gasped. "This is gonna be awesome! Your arse is gonna reek once I'm shagging you up it!"
Biggsy guffawed but I cringed with embarrassment.
"Is that a good thing?" I asked him. "That my arse smells, I mean?"
"It's the best, mate," he replied, shuffling up behind me. "Now just relax and push back when you feel my bell-end sliding into you."
Smithy put both hands on my hips as he pushed his cock head against the hottest and stickiest part of my hairy furrow.
"Aw, this is dead nice," he said with the tip of his donger jabbing against my hot manky hole. "You're a star, Gabe, letting me use your arse like this. I'm not gonna forget this in a hurry, mate."
"Me neither," Biggsy muttered.
Smithy reached fowards and grabbed my shoulder, pulling me against him as his fat helmet suddenly pushed its way inside me.
I let out a fart - a real blow-out to be honest - but Smithy didn't seem to care and started sliding the rest of his cock up my gravy spout. It felt massive - much, much thicker than I'd expected - and my poor bum-ring strained and stretched to cope with the sheer girth of the thing.
So then Biggsy chuckled, "I had no idea gay sex could be so beautiful, guys. It's like watching a love scene seeing him work his big knob into your gungy turd-hole, Gabe!"
"Shuddup!" I snapped. "Do you think I like having him screw me up the butt?"
Smithy kept going, sliding his shaft effortlessly up my raunchy passage.
He said, "It's gonna stink really rough once I get going properly, but I promise I'll spunk off as fast as I can..."
"Sheer poetry," Biggsy tittered.
"Will you shut the fuck up!" Smithy barked at him.
"Although I've got to admit," he went on, "it's kinda hot watching you shove a big cock like yours up another fella's hairy arse..."
"Yeah?" Smithy asked, clearly unconvinced, with his pubic bush now tickling my bum-cheeks.
"Yeah," Biggsy grinned and I waited for the insulting punchline.
Biggsy stayed quiet and Smithy grabbed me by the hips again and started working his thick dick slowly in and out of my hole.
"Aw yeah, this is just what I need!" he gasped. "Your brown-ring is really tasty, mate!"
"How can it be tasty?" I laughed, pushing my butt-cheeks back against his hips. "It's just my skanky arsehole!"
"It's as hot as fuck!" Smithy chuckled, speeding his rhythm up as he started thrusting more roughly. "It all tight and slidey, and it's got a lovely beefy stink to it!"
He inhaled deeply, craning his face down to get his nose as close as he could to the hairy crack his thick cock was pushing in and out of, and gasped, "Aw fuck yeah! It's gonna be a really smelly bum-job, this... just how I like it!"
I had to laugh again. "Is that what I'm doing, Smithy? Giving you a bum-job?"
"Too right you are," he panted, now going at full-pelt in and out of my hole. "And I owe you big-time, Gabe... I won't forget it!"
I liked that he called it a 'bum-job'. It made it sound like what we doing was just two stupid lads doing sex play. Kind of like, "My gay mate was horny, so I bent over and gave him a bum-job as a favour!"
Yeah, that sounded like getting butt-fucked was really just a bit of fun between mates.
Biggsy, to my surprise, had a different take on it.
He called over, "I can't believe I've ended up with a boned-up pole watching you dirty fuckers going at it like a couple of horny sailors!"
In spite of how much he was enjoying thumping in and out of me, Smithy had to laugh. "Getting you all horny, is it... watching my big gay dick fudging his hairy little clacker?!"
Biggsy undid himself and pulled a hefty rod of his own out through his zipper. The skin was pulled right back and the head of it was a shiny red like an unripe plum.
"I'm gonna need to wank off, guys... fuck knows why, but seeing you shagging him up his arse is making my knob sore!"
Smithy laughed again as Biggsy grabbed his thick veiny shaft and started jacking his foreskin up and down.
Then he suggested to Biggsy, "Kneel down in front of Gabe, mate... he can get his gob around your schlong... nosh you off while I'm ploughing his muck!"
"I'm not gonna suck Biggsy's cock, dude! I'm not having that scabby thing anywhere near my mouth!"
"All right then," Smithy said, having another idea. "Come over here and stand over his back... I'll suck you off the best you've ever had!"
Biggsy leapt up from the couch and hurried over to Smithy. He yanked his trousers and pissy Y-fronts down and clambered over me to position one knee on either side of my torso.
The slurping started up immediately as Smithy proved how expert he was at giving head to another bloke.
"Aw that's nice, mate," Biggsy gasped. "Use your tongue on me pisser..."
I looked back over my shoulder but all I could see was Biggsy's rough-as-fuck arse. He'd laughed about how grody my crack had looked but - Jesus wept! - his was a fucking shit-fest round his chunder and the backs of his saggy white briefs were a road map of skid-marks.
I wondered if even Smithy would fuck an arse as heinous as that.
"Really suck it hard... like it's a fucking lolly..." Biggsy panted. "And don't be frightened to use your teeth!"
I was pleased that Biggsy had joined in with us. I'd been worried that next time we were with Sanders and Crawley he'd start taking the piss about watching Gabe have his stinky brown crack fucked by Smithy's big chopper. Now that he was ball-deep himself, and his back-door was so much skankier than mine, I didn't think it so likely that the memory would re-surface.
"Ah yeah... I can smell his shitty arse getting fucked!" Biggsy huffed, grabbing the taller guy's head and hammering his cock really fast in and out of his mouth.
"This gay sex stuff," he grunted, bucking his hips like a piston. "There's not much that's gay about it..."
Smithy pulled off him and his thick goopy slaver dribbled down onto my arse cheeks.
"Fuck me up the arse!" he commanded to Biggsy. "Get behind me and shove your dick up me chuff while I'm porking him up his!"
"Aw yeah!" Biggsy surprised me by agreeing, and quickly moved around behind Smithy to squat down between his shins.
"Bloody hell, Smithy mate, your arse is like a big gaping cunt," he declared. "I thought you said you didn't like having cocks up it..."
"I didn't say I didn't like it," Smithy called back. "I just said I prefer it when it's my chubster what goes up the dumpster."
Biggsy shuffled up closer to his new-found fuck-buddy and guided his dick into position.
"A bit manky back here, aren't you?" Biggsy said as he pushed his cock head up through Smithy's well-stretched pooper.
Smithy chuckled, gasping at the intrustion. "Just think of it as natural lube, mate."
Biggsy's hips started smacking against Smithy's buttocks and he grunted in pleasure as he had his first taste of fucking another bloke up the arse.
"Aw Jesus! This is fucking crisp!" he gasped, humping his mate's back-end as fast as his hips could buck. "Your arse is dead tight and the inside's more wet and slidey than a minge!"
"Hold still!" Smithy told him, sounding fucked off that Biggsy had started banging him so rough. "I'm the one in the middle, so it's my cock and arse that do the moving... okay?"
"Whatever, mate," Biggsy panted. "Just hurry up... my helmet's gonna burst!"
Smithy started thrusting and called out, "Aw! Fuck yeah!" He loved the feel of having his dick slide in and out of my bunghole while his own had Biggsy's big cock slurping back and forth.
"Come on, wank me off, Smithy mate!" I called out, peering back at the pair of them kneeling down one behind the other. "You said you'd wank my knob off if I pulled the front of my kecks down..."
He knelt over me, reached under me and grabbed my dick which was mostly hard but still a bit droopy.
"How does it feel having a big gay cock dooking your toosh?" he asked, teasing my foreskin back and forth with a tenderness I hadn't expected from such a big, gruff bloke.
"A bit weird," I admitted. "But a lot nicer now that you're playing with my dick!"
"Turn the telly off," he muttered into my ear, still bending over me as he fondled my stiffening cock.
Thinking that the late night talk-show must be distracting him, I reached up and grabbed the remote off the armchair and pressed standby, plunging the TV into darkness.
"Aw, look at the three of us," he chuckled, peering up at the blank screen. "We look fucking wayward, man!"
I wasn't sure what he meant at first but then I realised he was looking at our reflection on the telly. There we all were: me on all fours taking dick like a bitch; Smithy crouching over me, wanking my cock off as he fucked me up the arse; and Biggsy kneeling behind him having his hard-on pumped between Smithy's thrusting buttocks.
"Aw Jesus!" I laughed. "Look at us deviants! Gaying it up like three nancies!"
"Fuck off!" Biggsy bit back. "Nancies don't do it the way we are! This is just bumming, mate... nothing more, nothing less."
"Exactly!" Smithy laughed, now bashing my wanged-up cock off with his hand as fast as he was pumping Biggsy's longer and thicker todger with his arse. "This is just bloke sex, Gabe... three horny fellas getting each other off..."
"So this isn't gay stuff then?" I asked, really loving the feel of Smithy's hand on my prick. He sure knew how to wank another lad's dick off - he was squeezing it just hard enough and his wrist was flicking back and forth with a steady, unwavering rhythm.
"Of course it isn't!" he laughed. "If it was gay stuff we'd be kissing and cuddling each other and shit like that... this is just bum sex, dude... the sort of shagging I like best, if I'm honest!"
I must admit I felt kind of pleased - sticking my bum out on all fours like that, taking Smithy's big cock up me while he was getting his arse fucked by Biggsy's thick rooster - that what we were doing definitely wasn't gay sex.
"I can see why you like it... it stinks to high fuck!" Biggsy breathlessly chipped in, clearly loving the rank, raunchy odour of our double brown-holing.
"Yeah, the stink's the best bit," Smithy grunted. Then, grabbing me by the shoulder and wanking me off a lot more quickly, added, "Get ready to bust your nuts, boys, 'cause I'm going for gold and I won't last long..."
Before I could ask what that meant, he started thrusting his hips as fast as he could making his cock jackhammer in and out of my cleaved arsehole.
"Fuck yeah!" Biggsy gasped, receiving the back end of Smithy's exertions, the taller guy's arsehole frantically squelching up and down the whole length of his grateful girth.
"Wank me off real fast, bro!" I panted, wondering why I was called Smithy 'bro' when I'd never once felt the urge to call him that in all the years I'd known him.
His hand went full-pelt on my dick and he bent right over me, his hips still wildly bucking, so that his chest was heaving against my back.
"I'm gonna cream off up your arse!" he snorted. "I'm gonna spunk so much jizz up your shitter!"
I pushed my bum back against him, helping to bring him off by working it against the long, rapid jabs of his big cock.
"Fucking seed me, bro!" I gasped.
There was that stupid word again.
He grunted - sort of growled into my ear - but it was Biggsy's dick which was first to blow off up his fuck-buddy's rump.
Biggsy was a silent cummer - he just nutted off up Smithy's back alley without so much as a whisper of pleasure - and it was only when Smithy groaned, "Aw yeah! Fill it up, mate!" that I realised that the guy in the back seat was draining his bollocks.
"I said being... in the middle... was best!" Smithy managed to whimper before his own big bollocks started firing off and I felt his goop squirting up into my innards.
It was a funny sort of feeling having a dude's ball juice pumping in hot spasms up your bum. Not gross or disgusting, just weird to feel a big cock rammed right up your arse injecting another fella's sperm as deep as it could.
Smithy's breath was hot against my neck as he emptied his knackers up my arsehole. He was panting and gasping as his cock kept spewing its load into my bowels and I wondered how much spunk an arse was supposed to take - surely his gunge would start squelching out of my gape if his knob kept bucking and shooting out much more!
Finally it was over and Smithy laughed into my ear. "You can tell you're not gay, Gabe! If you were, you'd have gunked off when you felt me sowing my seed!"
"Wank me off!" I commanded him, desperate to enjoy an orgasm of my own. His hand had totally neglected my cock while its owner had been splurging up my mud blower.
"I can do better than that, mate," Smithy said back. "Turn round and I'll suck you... you can jizz off in my mouth!"
Finding that to be an offer I couldn't refuse - which girl would ever let you do that?! - I pulled off Smithy's cock which had already lost its punch, and swivelled around to direct my eager hard-on into his mouth.
Smithy was an awesome cock-sucker - I had to agree with Biggsy on that. He used his lips and tongue and even the dangly thing in his throat to fully pleasure me and soon I was sweating and grunting as I roughly fucked his face.
Biggsy stood up and came and stood next to me as I held Smithy by his big, gawky ears and used his mouth like a wank-off toy. Biggsy's cock was a grim shade of brown and already going droopy and I could smell the raw stink of Smithy's arse smeared along it.
"Make him drink your wad," Biggsy grinned at me. "Empty your 'nads down his throat... make him swallow it all!"
I felt a tingling inside my cock-stretched arsehole and I realised Biggsy was working his middle finger up there.
I turned to him and he smirked naughtily. Then he whispered, "Just enjoy it, Gabe... I love it when girls do it to me!"
He started sliding his finger in and out, his grin growing broader as he could see from my reddening face how much I liked it, and I finally understood what Smithy had meant: it really was the fucking moff being the guy in the middle!
"You're dribbling spunk out of your chuff, mate!" Biggsy chuckled as he frigged me up the butt. "Your arse is full of it!"
I grabbed Smithy's head close and started shooting off down his throat the way he had seeded my cruddy hole with his.
"Aw yeah!" Biggsy gasped, watching my balls heave and my cock shaft twitch as I disgorged myself into Smithy's yawning mouth. "Eat his fucking jizz! Swallow it all down!"
Cleaning up was way more fun that it should have been. The three of us piled into the bathroom, taking turns to wash our dicks off and wipe our arses down, taking the piss out of each other for how skanky we'd been.
"You've got two loads of sperm in you, Smithy mate," Biggsy told him as he used up most of the bog-roll cleaning up his arse. "Maybe they'll meet in the middle."
Smithy laughed, running warm water over his big floppy dick in the sink, before saying back to Biggsy, "Funny how you didn't get fucked, but it's your arse that needs wiping the most!"
I sat on the loo, squirting Smithy's cum out of my butt in sloppy surges, making the other two laugh at how disgusting it sounded.
Biggsy bent down to pull his boxers up, giving Smithy the opportunity to shuffle up behind him and press his wet droopy cock into his arse-crack.
"Fucking hell, mate!" Biggsy chortled, joining in with the joke by grinding his cheeks against Smithy's prong. "One taste of Gabe's arse and you're insatiable!"
Smithy laughed back, thumping his hips against Biggsy's chubby butt, and said, "Look at the two of us in the mirror! Getting a bit of bum-love!"
Biggsy laughed like a nutter at his reflection, working his hairy cleft against Smithy's big spent dick. "Give it to me big boy! Come on, bum me up the arse, dead rough and hard!"
Smithy grabbed the shorter lad's hips, gyrating his own against his big muscly behind, the two of them laughing at each other through the mirror as they pretended to have butt-sex right there with me sitting on the bog.
As we got dressed, Smithy asked me, "So next time I need a shag, Gabe mate, will you let me do you up the crapper if I suck you off straight after it?"
"How come Biggsy got sucked off and then got to shag you up your arse?" I asked him, a bit miffed that I was now seen as the go-to bum-boy.
"Okay," Smithy nodded, "Well, maybe the two of you could take it in turns?"
"Yeah, in your fucking dreams, mate," Biggsy chortled.
"You liked the look of it in the bathroom when I was pretending to shag you..."
"Well yeah," Biggsy agreed, pulling up his jeans. "I suppose we did look kinda hot! But would you really want to stick your dick up a poxy arse like mine?"
"Sure as fuck I would!" Smithy grinned, excited at the prospect of having two lads' arses to alternate whenever he was feeling horny.
"Okay then, whatever," Biggsy shrugged, as if he was saying yes to something as dull as taking it turns to pay for petrol. "But only when you're desperate..."
"Absolutely," Smithy agreed. "But you know how it is 'round here... so few chances for a horny gay bloke like me! You can't blame a guy for needing to dip his wick now and then..."
Biggsy and I grinned at each other.
"Okay, so you bring the blow, mate," I said, doing my belt up.
"Yeah, and the booze!" Biggsy cut in. "Plenty of it, mind."
"And we'll see how things pan out once the two of us are suitably shitfaced," I added. "How does that sound?"
"Top notch!" Smithy chuckled back. "Bum-jobs for booze and blow... you boys have got yourselves a deal!"
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