Give and Take
by Michael Stevens stevens.mickey@gmail.com. feedback is always welcome
This is a work of fiction with little bits of reality and experience.
Jason knew his son was troubled by something, but he wasn't certain what it was. When school started it seemed to be ok, but in 6th grade, who knew? Could it be girl trouble already? He decided to wait and listen, and it paid off.
"Papa, I have a problem." Well, that was the first tip off right there. Andy never called him Papa any more, it was always Dad. So he would reply the right way.
"Andreas, what is it? Is there something wrong at school? " Jason had noticed that Andy was worried about school, Sunday night, and other days during the week. But first he started talking about all the things he liked about the new jr high school, but then he got to the problem.
"Papa, when we have PE class, we have to take showers afterwards. It's a rule. Most of us don't really wash, it's just go under the water. We are all naked. But I saw other boys look at me and I don' t know why. So I covered up, and now they tease me about being shy. I don't understand."
"Andreas, locker rooms can be difficult even for grown men, so junior high can be really tough. How can I help?"
"I don't know, Papa. Why do they try and peek at me?" He was close to tears and the boy's misery was painful for the father to hear.
"Andreas, are you willing to try something. It may help."
"Anything, Papa." the boy said miserably.
"Let's go up to your room" The boy followed. "Take off your clothes."
"What?" Andy was shocked.
" It only happens when you are in the locker room and when you are naked, so the answer must be there." said papa. "So this is where we will start." Reluctantly, Andy took off his clothes until he got down to his underpants.
"Papa, the teacher says that we should not let anyone see us or touch us where our underwear covers."
"Andreas, you came to me with this problem. Would you like to ask the teacher instead?"
"No papa." And he slid his underpants down and revealed all to his father. Just a few years ago, this would not have been a big deal for either of them. Every summer the family rented a summer camp up in the Adirondacks and there was a big outdoor shower. At the end of the day all the men and boys would gather for a shower, and then after, the women and girls would do the same. Father and son had seen each other naked many times, but not recently. So it was a bit of a surprise, and a prideful one, when Jason saw that his son was well into puberty.
"Andreas, come over to the mirror." and Jason brought his son over to the mirror on his closet door. I have an idea of what the problem might be. Do any of your classmates have curly black hair here?" Jason tickled along the dark pubes that had started growing above his penis. Andreas backed away, giggling, "no papa, I am the only one."
And do they have a penis as thick yours?" Jason held out a thick index finger to compare. It was about as big as his son's penis.
"No papa, they have no hair and they just have a little finger." and he held out his little finger to show their size.
"Andreas, I think I understand the problem. They are envious. You are bigger than they are. You are a leader."
"But Papa, why do they peek at me?"
"Because they want to see the future for them." And Jason realized the he needed to take his son to the past.
Later that day, Jason told to his wife that he and Andreas were going to the Cafe. There was no discussion, it was just announced. It was what men did, or at least, men used to do. As Jason hustled Andy out the door, he heard echoes of his mother complaining about the Cafe. When he was younger and his grandmother was still alive, the two women would often lament that the men spent too much time at "the coffee". It was almost a regular Saturday ritual when they lived in the neighborhood. Now, not so much, but Jason would still occasionally make the trip even without his dad.
It was a long subway ride back the old neighborhood. Andy had been there many times to visit with his grandmother and the cousins who had not moved away. But today, his papa took him to a different place. He recognized the Cafe, which was up on the first floor, but his dad was headed for a different door, one that was several steps down from the sidewalk.
The heavy door squeaked with annoyance as his father pushed aside and ushered Andy in. It was dark and quiet, and the air was heavy with moisture. It smelled of men and soap and cedar. They went down the hallway to a row of lockers and sat on the bench in front of them. "Andreas" his father spoke quietly. "This is place for men, not children. I am bringing you here today to welcome you on the path to manhood as my father did for me. If it suits you, we will come back often. There is only one rule: what happens here stays here." Awed into silence, Andy could barely nod his head. "Do you understand?" asked his papa.
"Yes papa." Andy answered barely above a whisper.
"Get undressed and we will take a shower." Andy did as he was told. When he was naked, he started to modestly wrap his towel around himself, much as he did at school, but his father gently stopped him."We are all men here, and there is no need to cover yourself. And that is what you will do at school, too. If the boys want to see you, you will make it easy for them. What they see will make them jealous. Show yourself proudly." His father stood up and Andy felt his masculine power."You are bigger than I was at your age, and you may end up taller than me. You'll be big here, too." and he tugged at his penis and cupped his testicles. It will take a few more years, but you will be like this. Other men will always defer to you when they see you naked, as the boys at school will do when they see you. It will help you outside the locker room too. You'll see."
As they walked down to the shower, Andy started out modestly carrying his towel in front of him, but his father gently shifted his arm so that his towel was at his side. "Proudly" was all he said. Andy stood as tall as he could, shoulders back, head up, "Excellent" said Papa.
The showers were spaced around the wall of a large tiled room. It was thick with steam, and as Andy hung up his towel, his father adjusted the flow of hot water at one of the shower heads. "We will do this together" said papa, "I will scrub you as my father scrubbed me." and he began a process that was rooted in tradition. With a loofah mitt that had been hanging nearby, Papa scrubbed along Andy's shoulders then down his back. When he reached the boy's waist, he bent down and scrubbed papa turned to each foot and then worked up each leg. When he got to the boy's buttocks, he pushed his legs apart and gently scrubbed up in-between. "I don't think your teacher would approve of this," he said smiling, "but I am your Papa and it's my job to teach you this." He used the edge of the loofa to gently work between the boys cheeks.
When that was done, he turned Andy to face him and started the same process across his chest, working into each armpit, across the nipples and down to his belly. Before he went lower, he got some extra soap, and then carefully guided the loofah around Andy's penis and under his testicles. "Your teacher really wouldn't like this" Papa smiled, "but I hope you do. It is important to be clean." Papa used the floods of water to swish away the soap and then handed the sponge to Andy. "Now you can scrub me."
Andy gulped. He had not expected that. Papa bent down so that Andy could reach the top of his shoulders and then down his back. When Andy tried to just pass across Papa's back his father corrected him. "You can scrub hard, Andreas, I won't break." and Andy doubled his effort. He stopped at Papa's waist and bent to work on his feet, calfs and then thighs. Papa spread his legs so that Andy could scrub up between, but Andy didn't push too hard. "No, Andreas, you have to go all the way in between. You can be gentle there, but you have to go there. So the boy did. Then it was up to Papa's chest which was covered with soft, dark curly hair. Andy hoped that his bare chest would look like that someday.
He scrubbed down Papa's belly and stopped when he got to the place where the Papa's thick bush began. "It is important to be gentle here, but it is also important to be clean" So Andy held his father's penis with one hand and carefully went over it with the sponge. He lifted the heavy balls out of the way and scrubbed underneath and then delicately went over the scrotum, noticing how the balls inside easily moved around. Andy was surprised at how pleasant it was to be touching his father's manhood this way. When he was done, Papa stood in the main stream of water and rinsed away the soap. "Excellent," he said "now to the sauna. Not too long for you today, but someday you will be able to spend an hour or two in the heat.
Between the lockers and the showers there were two doors that Andy had not noticed. They went in the one on the right. "Always this one, Andreas." They baked in the heat for a few minutes; Andy could barely breathe, and it was a relief to step into the hallway. As the sauna door closed, Papa pointed to the other door and said, simply, "Never." They went back to the lockers and got dressed, and as they were headed out, Papa said that someday they would go upstairs for coffee, but for now they would just go home.
Andy was up early on Monday morning, getting ready for school. He took a quick shower but when he stepped out of the shower stall,was surprised to see his father waiting for him. "Dad?" he asked. He started to modestly wrap his towel around his waist, but when his dad raised his eyebrows with a reminder, he stopped, and tossed it over his shoulder instead. "Tall and proud" was all he said. That afternoon, PE class was out on the soccer field, and when the boys went in, they really did need showers. In the noisy crush of boys getting dressed and undressed, Andy thought maybe no one would notice him headed for the shower. He carried his towel in his left hand and walked down the center aisle, between the banks of lockers. When he chose a shower, he didn't go the far corner as he usually did, he took the shower head up front. With the shower spray coursing down his back, he generously lathered himself, starting with his armpits and slowly moving lower to finally churn his penis and testicles with the smooth lather. He was facing out into the big shower room, and there was no way the other boys could miss his performance. When he was done, he rinsed off and stepped out into the drying area. He dried his hair first, covering his face and giving all the boys ample opportunity to stare. He dried the rest of him with care and then strode down to his locker with his towel casually at his side. His best friend Brian had the locker next to him. "Holy crap!" was all he said. No one ever bothered Andy in the locker room ever again.
For the next several years, with only the addition of coffee, Papa and Andreas would repeat the same ritual once a month or so. It gave papa great pleasure to see his son growing into manhood, how big he was getting, how strong and proud he was. But then something happened. Papa was just scrubbing down Andy's belly when the loofa slipped to the floor. Papa did not stoop to pick it up, but went on as if he still had it. Andy realized that Papa was washing him with his hand. But he wasn't really washing, he was stroking, just like he did when he was beating off. And, just like then, he was getting hard. At first he worried that Papa would notice and get angry, but he didn't seem to be paying attention. His eyes were closed, and he seemed to be far away. Nothing like this had ever happened before, and he wasn't sure what to do. He would cum soon if Papa didn't stop, and what would happen then? It didn't take long to find out. With his erection pushing into Papa's hand and the pace getting faster, Andy felt the quiver of pleasure pulse through his body, and he was shooting again and again. He tried to be very quiet, but a whispered "Oh Papa!" with his last shot and it broke the trance He looked down and realized he had just masturbated his son. He took his hand sharply away and cleaned it off. He stood under the pouring stream and hoped it would rinse him clean. At least the soap washed away. He passed the sauna, went down to the lockers and got dressed. Andy realized that he should do the same, and before long, they were silently on the subway, headed for home.
That was the last time that Papa ever went to the coffee with Andy.
Eventually, Andy decided that he would go back to the Cafe on his own. He scrubbed himself, missing his dad with every moment, and baked his sadness in the sauna. He understood his Papa's shame, but could not explain the trance. Where had he gone? What provoked it. Nothing in Andy's experience with his father could figure out where this had come from.
One afternoon, Andy noticed a young man alone in the showers. He had taken note before, because a solo shower was unusual. So, thinking that the young man might want a shower partner, he offered. "Can I scrub your back?" The two of them went through the exact same ritual that they had done with their fathers. After they rinsed off, they went down the hall to the sauna and Andy went into his usual door. It was not without a questioning glance from his new shower mate, though. He was clearly headed for the other door, but followed Andy into the sauna. They baked, side by side, naked and proud until the heat had totally permeated their bodies. They got dressed and went upstairs for coffee. There, they introduced themselves and shared their stories about growing up in the neighborhood. There was laughter and almost some tears. Michael's father had died a few months earlier, and going to the coffee was how he tried to stay in touch with his father. Andy tried to explain what had happened between him and his dad, but he couldn't, really, "It's a mystery, Michael. I've really lost my dad, he hardly talks to me anymore." It was a sad ending at the beginning of a friendship, but the boys agreed to meet again. The date was put into their calendars and when the coffee cups were empty, they went their separate ways.
At the scheduled time on the decided day, the boys met in the locker room and undressed together. They headed towards the showers, but Michael paused by the sauna doors. "Ever been in this one?" he asked, pointing to the other door.
"No" said Andy, "My papa said no."
"Did you ever ask him why?"
"No. He was very firm about it, and I never questioned him." Michael did not push the question, and they went into the shower room. Michael scrubbed first and from the first moment, Andy noticed that he was using both hands. As he scrubbed his back, Andy felt Michael's hand on his chest, then stomach and the scrubbing went lower. Maybe he was just bracing to scrub harder, Andy thought. There was a lot of soapy touching. So when it was Andy's turn to scrub, he tried the same thing, and sure enough, bracing his left had on Michael's belly did let him scrub better. When he was working on Michael's penis, he realized that his other hand had slipped into the other boys butt crack, and he was liking the contact. He hoped Michael didn't mind.
As they went to the sauna, Michael raised an eyebrow and pointed to the forbidden door. Andy shook his head and went in the usual one. Michael followed. They baked, and rinsed, and then went up for coffee, as always. As they made plans for their next meet-up, Michael added a condition.
"Will you consider going into the other sauna? There are some things that I will explain to you first, but I think it would be helpful for you." Andy thought for a few moments.
"Ok" he said. "If it will help figure things out, I'm all for it!" And the boys parted with a shake and a plan.
Michael was sure that Andy had no idea what went on in the forbidden sauna, and he was uncertain about how to explain it to him. He did know that he had gotten a very intimate sense of touching from Andy and that the sexual nature of the sauna might be ok with him, but he would have to be careful. When they met again for the showering ritual, Michael changed it up a bit when it was his turn to scrub Andy's front. Just before the penis scrub, he "dropped" the sponge. He didn't pick it up, and washed Andy with his bare hand. He didn't know that he was doing what Papa had done that last fateful time with Andy. But he didn't go all the way either. The stiffening of Andy's cock was enough to tell him that what he might do in the sauna would probably be ok.
So, they rinsed and headed down the hall. Before they went in, Michael gave Andy some directions. We'll sit on the right, and when you get settled, put your towel over your head.. Make it so you can see a little bit. And in they went. It was breathtakingly hot, but they picked a lower bench spot on the right and relaxed in the heat. When Andy's eyes adjusted to the light, he saw that there were two guys just to their right and something was going on between them. He could see that both of them had boners and they were stroking each other. Then one leaned over and started a blowjob. Andy tapped Michael on the thigh, making sure he saw it too, and then Michael leaned over to whisper. "Are you ok with that?" It took a few long moments for Andy to process that, but eventually he nodded his head. Michael stroked his new friend's thigh, and then checked to see if there was an erection hiding behind the hands in his lap. As much as he might have wanted to hide it, Andy finally gave way to Michaels explorations, and revealed himself. "Excellent!" whispered Michael, and he leaned over, taking Andy into his mouth.
Michael had had a lot of experience in the forbidden sauna, so it did not take long for him to coax an orgasm out of Andy. His cum was copious, and as his hips pulsed towards the eager mouth, Michael took in every drop. He sat up and wiped his mouth with the towel and whispered to Andy. "Now, to say thank you, you have to jerk me off." Michael spread his legs a little and nudged Andy to respond. Andy was still catching his breath from that mind-blowing orgasm, but his hand crept over to Michael's thigh, and then eventually into his crotch. there was a boner waiting for him there, and Michael reassuringly helped Andy take a grip.
Andy could see that the guys next to them had gotten to the hand job stage too, and he tried to copy what he saw. "Don't start to fast." whispered Michael. "We'll get there." So Andy took it easy until he felt Michael pushing towards his hand, and he sped up. Faster and faster until he heard Michael gasp. Rockets of cum shot out of his penis, and he collapsed against Andy. "Wow" said Michael. HIs chest and Andy's hand were covered with cum. "We need another shower."
They rinsed off and got dressed, the went upstairs for coffee, which they finished very quickly.
"Michael, I need to talk, and I don't wanna do it here. Can we go for a walk?"
"Of course!" and out they went. It was a nice day and they found an empty bench in a park nearby. "Andy, let me explain before you start asking questions. That is what has happened in that sauna for generations. Older men who don't have much sex with their dumpy wives get a blowjob and they say thank you by jerking off the younger guy. The younger guys can't get laid until they get married, and when they do, they stop with the blowjobs. But eventually, the wives stop being attractive and they come back. But now they aren't giving blowjobs, they're getting them."
"So all these guys are gay?? What the fuck?? All of them??? My Dad??"
"No Andy, this isn't a gay thing, or not usually. It's just about having an orgasm. On one hand, kids are told that jerking off is bad, so they don't. And the married guys don't either, but they trade a blowjob for a jerk off and no one is gay or breaking the masturbation rule. But this didn't happen overnight, it took years for lots of guys to come to this social arrangement."
"What about my Dad? Is he gay?"
"Andy, I don't know your dad, or anything about him. Would you like my idea about what happened?"
"I'm open to anything that will get my dad back." said Andy.
"You told me that he masturbated you in the shower and then was terribly embarrassed about it. What if he was remembering when he did that in the sauna after a young man gave him a blow job?"
"Ok, so my dad was getting blowjobs and jerking off guys. Sounds gay to me!!"
"No that was the culture he grew up with. It wasn't love, it was just getting off."
"But then, he must have been giving blowjobs before that. My dad. Doing that! Crap!"
"Think about why he never wanted you to go into the other sauna." Andy was quiet.
"Why didn't he just tell me?"
"There would have been too much explaining, and he might have repressed a lot of it. But when he started stroking you with his bare hand, something came back. Maybe he did it once and liked it, or had found someone special. There's just no way to know without asking him. But you do know he wanted the cycle to stop. He didn't want you in there doing that." Michael knew Andy had a lot to process, so he just stopped talking. They sat on the bench, side by side, nestled against each other, shoulder to knee, but hands folded safely in their laps. Finally Andy shifted to face Michael. "But I liked what I did with you in there." His eyes drilled into Michael, trying to see what he was thinking.
"Me too" Michael finally answered, and kissed him. It was a short kiss, an introduction between friends. When Andy kissed him back, it was a long, lingering kiss, that foretold intimate evenings snuggled naked on a couch in front of a fireplace, blissful afternoons stretched out on a nude beach, and comfortable nights spooned together after blissful sex. None of that was going to happen right away, though, and for now, the boys just continued to meet at the cafe.
After several meetings, Michael asked Andy about his dad. He hadn't wanted to push the subject, but he hoped things were better. He was relieved to hear that father and son had spoken. When Andy confessed that he had been onto the other sauna, his father was quiet for a long time, and when he spoke, there were tears in his eyes. "I never wanted that for you." he said. "It was a tradition that needed to be broken." Now came the tough part for Andy.
"I met someone there, Papa." He didn't need to tell his father that they had been going into the forbidden sauna or what else they might have been doing. But before his father could respond he explained "He's just my age. His papa died a few months ago, and he's been very lonely without him. I was lonely without you, too, Papa. We're not "givers" or "takers," we're together. And I like him. A lot." Papa was quiet again until finally he reached out and hugged his son. Andreas, I'm sorry I left you alone, but now that you know what it was all about, I don't feel so ashamed. I will try to make things as they were between us. I am proud of you, my son. This must have been very difficult for you.
"It's better now, and will be even better tomorrow. Soon we will be back to normal."
"But not in the sauna, Andreas. You have a new scrubber there."
"Yes, Papa." Michael was happy to hear that things were better and that Papa had not been angry over what Andy had revealed. The word gay had not been spoken but the conclusion was clear. That can be a tough thing for a dad to take, especially a Papa. When the boys agreed to their next time, they also started talking about meeting up other times and places, but the sauna would always be special.
They always sat on the same side, and although they traded roles each time, the routine was the same. Then one day as they sat baking in the heat, two figures emerged from the gloom at the other end of the sauna and slipped out the door. When the door had squeaked shut, Andy leaned over to ask, "Why don't we sit down there? It would be more private. I didn't even see them!" Michael didn't answer, he just got up and led the way to the dark corner.
"This end is for doing things we aren't supposed to do."
"Like what? Andy asked.
"This" he said simply, and kissed his friend. It was a deep passionate kiss. When they separated for a moment, Andy could only say "Oh" before Michael brought their lips together again, where they stayed for a long time. It was, however, and awkward position, side by side. When they paused again, Michael said "Let's try this" and he gestured for Andy to lie down and then he lay down next to him. Their erections were pushed up together between them, and as they resumed kissing, they started slowly humping their hips at each other.
"Andy, do you know where this is headed?" whispered Michael.
"I think so Mike, but I've never done that. Let's kiss more" and Michael decided that Andy did not want to do what he had in mind. He let it go, but instead of just going back to the fierce making out, he leaned down and licked Andy's nipples, then pinched them between his lips. The he moved further down and took Andy's throbbing erection into his mouth. By now, Michael was kneeling between Andy's outstretched legs as he serviced the magnificent boner of his friend. But it wasn't enough.
Michael rearranged their bodies so that he was straddling Andy at the waist. He leaned forward so that they could continue kissing. While Michael's erection was pointed up on Andy's belly, Andy's erection was behind Michael, snuggled between his cheeks. The friction was driving Andy wild and began pushing up harder. "Michael, you are making me crazy!"
"There's a solution for that." said Michael in his most persuasive voice.
"I'm ready" whispered Andy. From a little hidden shelf, Michael took a small tube, and after he squeezed a bit onto his fingers, he rubbed the fragrant gel onto Andy's penis. Then with one quick motion popped the boy's glans into his waiting hole. From there, it was a long slow slide down the length of Andy's erection as Michael eased himself onto Andy. Both boys moaned with satisfaction at the penetration. "But wait" said Michael, "there's more." And he began a slow bounce, which drew another moan from Andy. As Michael picked up the pace and the distance he was sliding, Andy tried to do the same for Michael's erection. It was awkward, and Michael eventually started stroking himself while Andy's hands around Michael's waist tried to help him find the rhythm that would relieve the pressure building inside him.
Andy was pleading for more and Michael knew that he probably couldn't fuck him fast enough to get him off, so when his body signaled to him that his orgasm was inevitable, he dismounted from Andy's cock and guided the boy's hand onto his own erection. "Go for it! he said quietly and while he stroked himself to orgasm, Andy did the same. With a few whimpers of frustration and grunts of pleasure, both boys finally reached the destination of pleasure. They shot gobs of milky cum all over Andy. Some even reached his cheek. Michael sat on the edge of the bench while Andy was lying on his back.When they had caught their breath, Michael scraped the cum off Andy's cheek, fed it to him, and then kissed him. "You're welcome" he said.