The moment we've all been waiting for. ------
My father had been taken to the ICU, apparently. From what I could decipher he suffered a heart attack or something. Dr. Hwang was speaking perfectly clear, probably using words I could understand, but all I could hear was, 'blah blah blah, fluid in the lungs, blah blah blah cardiac arrest. Something-something, hospice.' My mind broke upon hearing the H-word. "I'm sorry, I have to go."
I stood up and left the room, walking towards the elevator. I didn't want to cry: I wanted to scream. My life was fucked; I wanted to run up a flight of stairs and jump off the roof (the idea seemed as refreshing as a cold drink of water.) Out of the corner of my line of sight, I spotted the familiar symbol of a fire escape. It took me a moment to take a step and, in that time, Jay appeared behind me.
He gripped my arm, turning my body to face him. "Marcus, wait!"
"Wait for what?"
"We can head up to the ICU." He spoke with a sense of compassion. Or maybe that was just the accent (or the hair.) It was hard to be upset around an Irish guy with spiked hair. Jay looked more like a bartender at a club than the father of my emotionally abusive girlfriend.
"I don't know if I can."
"They usually don't allow visitors for ICU patients in the first 24 hours, but you'll at least get to see that your father's still alive."
`Still alive?' I really wish he'd chose a different turn of phrase. I was now the same scared child who slept by his comatose father's side, praying for a miracle that would never happen. I shook my head, desperately trying not to cry. "I want to go home. I mean to your home."
"I figured," Jay said, patting my arm. "You know it's all right; You can call it your home."
I nodded, forcing a grateful smile. I didn't have a home. I would never have a home. "So, my father is unconscious?" I asked. I assumed that was why the ICU was not allowing visitors. I needed to see him, I owed it to my father to be there when he woke up. However, another part of me did not; I was emotionally empty inside and I just wanted to sleep in a real bed.
Jay nodded, gripping my arm. "If there's any change to his condition they'll call right away."
"Ok." That was more than reasonable.
"I called for a Lyft, they should be here by the time we get downstairs."
"Ok," I repeated. None of this was under my control; might as well roll with the punches, at least I'd get a free air-conditioned car ride.
Jay must have sensed my apprehension. He touched my chin, turning my face. "Marcus, I need you to look at me."
I did as he asked, fighting back the tears.
"Leaving your father's side does not make you a monster. He knows you love him, and love will guide him to where he needs to be.
I nodded, forcing myself to breathe. I accepted a hug, allowing Jay to guide me to the elevator.
The drive back was uneventful, at least until we saw the state of Jay's front gate. with the level of property damage, I assumed the police would be called. The driver even offered his own cell phone.
Jay got out, rolling his neck like a fighter about to step into the ring. "Nah, man. It's all good."
It was not all good. The ten-foot-tall gate with decorative interlocking dragons was now laying on the ground, clearly smashed from its frame. I got out of the car, stood up, walking around the damage. I was at a loss for words.
Jay just laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. "How much you want to bet she stole one of my bikes?"
"Becca?" I asked. I knew that, in addition to his six cars, he had ten motorcycles ranging from Harley Davidson to Kawasaki. "So, are you going to call the police?"
Jay shrugged. "Nah, I have plenty more." he went straight into the house, powerwalking to the first-floor office. I watched as he opened his safe removing a scratched up metal sewing kit.
"What's that?"
"Just an old gift from my nan." Jay took the box, sat down at his desk and rolled a joint. He licked his fingers to seal the rolling paper (which appeared to be recycled from an old Bible.)
"Aren't you worried about drug testing?"
"For what? I've been retired from active competition for years." Jay lit up and took a long soothing drag, exhaling a smooth stream of smoke. "Acting and modeling gigs practically survive on narcotics."
"So, you're California sober?" I looked around the office. There were books and papers scattered on the floor; clearly, Becca had been looking for the code to the safe.
Jay raised an eyebrow. "California sober? I'm not any kind of sober." He leaned, motioning to the safe as if offering me a peek at its contents.
I stood up and took a look, making sure to stand well out of range of touching or damaging anything. There were a few dozen glass bottles and old metal boxes. Some appeared to be covered in dust. I just assumed this was a wide variety of illegal drugs. "Where do you think she is?"
"My daughter?" Jay chuckled, taking a long drag. he leaned back in his chair. "Yeah, I figure that's what she wants; to jump up and down like an unruly toddler until I give her the attention she craves. I'll be her safe place to land but I'm not going to hunt for her like a lost dog."
"What if she's in trouble?" I muttered. I didn't mean to provoke an emotional response, but that was what happened.
Jay crossed his arms, closing his eyes. There were no words he could say to make things right; Becca needed to want to come home, or else she'd just leave again.
"You planning on sleeping in the office?" I asked, taking a step towards him.
Jay appeared to be comfortable where he was. "What if I do?"
I took the joint from his hand, taking a long drag. "You shouldn't be alone." I took a seat on his lap, resting my head on his shoulder.
Jay laughed, patting my back like a supportive older brother. "You know, you give good hugs."
"Thanks," I said, still keeping the joint all to myself.
Jay placed his finger to my chin, turning my face. He looked at me, his lips parting with a sweet, sexy smile. "I don't think either of us should be alone."
I put my arm over his shoulder and allowed him to carry me. I assumed we would be heading to his bedroom, instead, he took a surprise turn to the patio. The gorgeous outdoor space was surrounded by tall flowering plants. I had never been close enough to see the pool so I was a little surprised to find it completely empty.
For the second time that day, I let him undress me. Removing my shirt and pulling off my sweatpants as he placed my naked body in the hot tub. My bare skin making contact with the cold tile surface sent a shiver up my spine.
Jay leaned over me, for a moment I was unaware of what he was doing. And then a rush of perfectly warm water filled the pool from at least a dozen different jets. One of these jets was positioned near my lower back. "This is more of a bath than a hot tub?" I asked, leaning into the soothing pressure.
Jay took a seat by my side. he leaned back, spreading his legs as he took in the warmth of the water. He wasn't sitting directly on a jet, instead, letting the closest spray massage his outer leg. "You know what's the best thing about a hot tub style bath? no need to ask someone to scrub your back." Jay chuckled as he leaned back, resting his head on his arms.
This drew my attention to his fauxhawk. "What happens if your hair gets wet?"
"What do you mean?"
"Does Greenpeace issue you a fine for water pollution?"
"You're a hilarious one." Jay touched his hair, revealing just how stiff it was. "Challenge accepted." He sat up, and with one swift motion, Jay dunked his head completely under the warm bubbly water. When he emerged, he flipped his shoulder-length hair away from his face, freeing his hand to wipe the water from his eyes. the water around him was soapy, causing him to laugh. Jay ran his fingers through his long, wet hair. "Like what you see?"
"I do." I slid onto his lap with a flirty smile. Leaning in close, I brushed a lock of hair from his cheek, moving it behind his ear. The way his dark hair framed his face was nothing less than perfection. I studied his cheekbones like an inspired sculptor. Jay's jawline was strong, regal even. "You look like a mermaid, or maybe a drowned rat."
"Really now?" Jay swept his muscular arm, coaxing a massive wave to splash me in the face.
We both laughed. I certainly didn't look as calm, and cool, but still, the sight of Jay's smile filled me with a sense of hope. "I don't think I've ever seen your smile." At least not like that. He looked like a father; a kind man who only saw the good in people. "But seriously, I kind of like your hair like this."
Jay chuckled, licking his lips. His dark, wide-set, eyes seemed supernatural. "Remember what I said about kissing you?"
"Yeah." I kissed his nose, teasing the tip. Jay leaned back, coaxing my mouth down to his pouty lips. With one hand gripping his hair, my other hand slipped under the water, between his legs. Jay's cock was so hard, I could feel the precum. It was a sense of warmth like no other, and I wanted to live forever in his loving embrace. "Challenge accepted."
"I think we need to go someplace a little more private."
With my arms around his shoulders, Jay stood up. Without a word he carried my soaking wet body to the nearest bedroom, laying me atop a silky red comforter embroidered with gold dragons. I stroked my fingertips over the delicate stitching. "Is this new?"
"Just a little something I found at a market in Indonesia." Jay started off on top of me, his hair dripping down onto my skin. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm good," I said with a forced smile. Something about being pinned down was planting the seeds of a panic attack. So, I discreetly moved on top. My legs were long enough to wrap around his, allowing me to straddle his hips as we passionately kissed.
Jay reclined on the bed, leaning his neck backward. I could feel every deep, throbbing breath; tangible energy rushing through every muscle, every nerve. His cock was pressed against his tight stomach, begging for a release.
I was used to men trying to touch me, dominate me. It felt so different to be the one in power. I located a birthmark just behind his ear. That was my starting point to explore the delicious buffet laid out before me. Tracing down his collarbone, to his chest, I noticed for the first time his pierced nipples. The small black rods were nearly the same color as his skin. It was only when the light hit, did they reveal their metallic beauty.
I took one in my mouth, licking and sucking his areola as I licked the bar with my starving tongue. Not wanting the other one to feel left out, I rubbed the other tender, sensitive nipple with my fingers.
Jay grunted and moaned, gripping my hair. "Come on, boy, stop teasing me."
"But I like teasing you." I kissed his stomach, from his belly button, down his hips, tracing the lines of his sculpted abs. "How much discipline does it take to have a body like this?" I spread his legs, bending his knee for easy access.
"Years of self-discipline and prayer."
I sucked on my fingers, drooling down my wrist. "Prayer?" When I was nice and lubed, I spread him open, finger fucking his tight muscular ass. "What kind of prayer?" Jay had the most sensitive prostate I ever had the pleasure of touching. The way his body clenched you'd think I had some kind of superpower.
"Pray away the pain." Jay moaned, arching his neck as he panted like a dog in heat. "The muscle aches, the injuries; just until I could get myself to a proper physical therapist in the red-light district." He chuckled at his own joke, then, closing his eyes he reached for his cock. He fondled his tip, rubbing his fingers through his own precum, before licking them clean. It was the sexiest thing I'd ever seen.
"Which Red light district; Amsterdam, Korea?"
"All of the above." Jay, with his impressive core muscles sat up. Still furiously masturbating, he locked his lips to my neck. His mouth was like an octopus, slowly climbing up the side of my face. "I want you to fuck me."
"You want me to fuck you?" The idea was comical. My dick wasn't impressive. Even when I was hard, my penis was maybe five inches, and that was being generous. And there was the problem of me not being able to get hard (at the moment.) My body craved him, wanted him, but my cock was refusing to cooperate. No matter how much I jerked off, rubbing my tip to get myself lubed and ready, I seemed to be perpetually soft. My own dick was afraid.
Jay reached for my hand, pulling me close for a tender kiss. "You need to own who you are."
I was now in the perfect space to penetrate his ass in the missionary position. In that moment I chuckled. I hadn't been lying; this was how I (a former sex slave) was still a virgin. I had never been given the chance to be the one in charge of my own destiny.
Soon I was hard enough. I rubbed my moist tip against the opening of his asshole, teasing him. I could practically feel the heat of his body; he was craving me. I lifted his leg, penetrating him as deeply as I could.
I kept my focus on my older lover's eyes; matching him breath for breath. I could feel myself inside of him.
Jay was clenching, convulsing. "Yeah, just like that."
I increased my pace, ramming him hard, practically bending his leg backward. I was fucking away my pain; years of abuse, fear, anger.
I felt a weight lifted off my soul. for the first time in years, I could breathe; a deep, full breath that echoed through my body. My body; my arms that leaned in close, my mouth that hovered over his. This moment belonged to me.
Jay closed his eyes, gasping for breath. I glanced down to see he was masturbating, working his shaft like it owed him money.
"You're so fucking hot." I placed my hand on top of his; I wanted to feel the raw power, the mighty cock of an Olympic champion fighter.
Jay stopped his momentum, removing my hand. He held it for a moment, tracing my palm. "What am I going to do with you?" With his tongue pressed to the inside of his cheek, Jay made a decision. He positioned my hand on his throat, allowing me to feel the subtle movement of his breath.
In my current position; with one arm holding his leg, and my cock deep inside him, I found myself placing my weight on his throat. I wasn't choking him, and apparently that was a bad thing.
"You can do better than that," Jay said with a smirk. "Pick out something from the nightstand." Within arm's reach was an unlocked drawer that held sex toys. While mid thrust, I grabbed what looked like a simple necktie.
I intentionally didn't pull the loop tight. For me this was more like riding a horse; gripping the reigns while holding on for dear life. I closed my eyes focusing on my breath. I could no longer take a full gulp of air without experiencing an orgasm. Over and over, soon I could feel myself about to blow my load; it was happening, and it was glorious. Jay clenched his muscles, pulling me in like an animal devouring its prey.
I ejaculated for what felt like hours; one long, intense, uninterrupted sensation. And then I collapsed into his arms. My cock slipped out of him with an audible slurp. My whole body was sticky with sweat, but Jay, he was coated in his own cum.
Jay laughed. "Looks like we both could use another bath."
"Or I could just lick you clean. I can start with your ass; clean up my mess." I didn't mean to say that out loud, but the heart wants what it wants.
Jay coaxed me to lay my head on his chest. "Maybe after a goodnight's rest."
"Yeah, you're right." I stroked his perfect skin, taking in the scent of his sweat, the warmth of his powerful body. This body that could take down an opponent with a sweep kick, and score enough points to defeat the reigning world champion. I felt calm, safe, and loved. This really was my home. Jay held me close, stroking my back. I could feel his heart.
I watched Jay's sleeping face, he appeared to be smiling. I placed my finger to his lips. `I wonder what you're dreaming about.' I made myself comfortable, moving his hand to my thigh. The room was just warm enough to sleep in the nude. Looking up at the ceiling, I could see a mosaic of mirrors interlaced with oceanic symbolism.
All was right in the world. I was about to close my eyes, and then the phone rang.