DISCLAIMER: This story is not for those under the age of 18 years (21 in some areas). It includes discriptions of male/male sexual acts. This story includes celebrity persona; however, it is not meant to imply or suggest the sexual orientation of those celebrities.
------------------- Getting Reaquainted ------------------- by Neil *** My e-mail address has changed to SilverNeil@hotmail.com *** *** ICQ # 49278358 ***
Part XVI --------
Just as Brian's fist makes contact with the statue of Kevin in my dream, a loud crash wakes me up. At first, I think it was part of the dream, but I realize that the sound is coming from next door. I hear my mother crying and my father's low voice. I jump up out of the bed and head next door. I knock on the door. "It's me, Chris."
My father opens the door. I see a bunch of stuff scattered next to a dresser. My mother is sitting on the floor crying. I go over to her and put my arms around her. "Sssshhhh. Mom, calm down. It's going to be alright. Just calm down."
"I can't! I can't believe she's gone!" More crying. I look up at my father. He just shrugs and shakes his head. I rock my mother in my arms until she has calmed down.
"Oh my. I can't believe this mess I've made." She starts to pick up stuff from the floor.
"Dad and I will take care of this. You go lay down. Go on." She stands up and shuffles to the bed, then lays down. My father and I watch until she is asleep, then we gather the things off of the floor.
"She's been like this all day. It's a lot worse when we're alone together. I just don't know what to do for her, Chris."
"Tomorrow I'll call Dr. Miller so mom can talk to her. I think she might be able to help some." I glance at the clock. It's almost 6 in the morning. "Are you going back to bed?"
"Yeah. You?"
"Yeah. See you in a couple hours I guess."
"Sleep well, son."
This was typical of the whole day. We all ate breakfast (or those of us who could eat), then we sat around the house all day. Aunt Alice and my mom confirmed all the arrangments for tomorrow's funeral. I made sure I could tear mom away from everybody else for an hour so she could talk to Dr. Miller. She thanked me when they hung up and told me that she felt a lot better. Some more relatives came, some I had never met before. By the end of the day, I had 5 girls and 1 boy, all related to me somehow, all spellbound by my Backstreet Boys stories. When I just couldn't take it any more, I told them that I didn't have anything else to tell them.
"Let's hear some dirt on 'em!" Heather, one of my third cousins (who really keeps track?) suggested.
Mark asks, "Hey, is any of them gay?" Now that we were away from the adults, I guess they felt they could ask that stuff. I just shot him a look.
"Now, now, I can't go giving out any dirt on them. No matter what you ask or how many times you ask it, I am not a gossip." Totally avoiding the 'gay' question. And any others, I guess.
"Aaaawwwww....come ooonnn." Mark prodded.
"Why do you wanna know? You have a crush on one of them?" I jokingly ask. He gets a shocked look on his face. He blushes. Everyone laughs. "Nah, I'm just kiddin' with ya. I'm not saying anything else about them." Now, from all my time people-watching, I am pretty good at reading body language. And Mark's body language is telling me that he does indeed have a crush on one of them. I'll let it drop. Our little group session separates, as each member goes about his or her own business.
Or so I thought. "Chris?" It's Mark. "Can I see you for a minute outside?"
"Uh, sure thing." We head out the back door out into the field behind Beth's house. "What's on your mind?"
"What you said in there."
"What did I say?"
"About me having a crush on one of the Backstreet Boys."
"What about it?"
"It's true."
"Oh. I thought so."
"That's it?"
"What else would there be?"
"I just came out to you. I'm gay."
"Well, you're a lot more brave at coming out to people than I am."
He stopped dead in his tracks. "What?! You're gay!?"
"Could you yell a bit louder? I'm not sure everybody in Arkansas heard you." I start walking again, and he follows beside me. The sun is getting low now, so I make a little circle to head back to the house.
"Sorry. I just didn't...think about it."
"Well, I am. Now, you gonna tell me which one you like?" I snicker.
He scratches his ear and blushes. "This is so weird to talk about." He giggles a bit.
"Come on, quit stalling." I nudge him with my elbow.
"It's...Brian." I laugh. "What is so funny?"
"Nothing. Nothing at all."
When we got back to the house, dinner was being served. Everybody ate this time. I watched my mom eating, just to make sure she did. She had a rough couple days, and starving herself wasn't helping. AH! How much Kevin has rubbed off on me?! I chuckle at the thought, catching a few people's attention. "Nothing. Just, you know, thinking." That satisfied their curiosity.
I offered to let Mark spend the night with me in my room. I figure travelling across the country (he's from California) to a strange new place to meet people you've never even heard of is a bit scary. Having to sleep in the same room as your parents would just make it downright terrifying. The two of us stayed up until 2 in the morning talking about everything! It helped me, and I know it helped him, to be able to talk to someone else about being gay. And we talked about other stuff as well. How my family was doing, and how his was. He told me about his high school and all that. It was pretty exciting to me since I went to a private school at about his age.
Then the boy got to talking about Brian. Just to hear him talk about Brian made me go deep in thought about my husband. 'My husband' I thought to myself. I missed him so much. It's only been over a day, but it feels like it has been an eternity since I've been in his arms. As I daydreamed about him, some stuff Mark was saying caught my attention.
"Whoa, there, little boy. I realize you're at that age where your hormones are raging, but I don't need to hear about all you'd do to him." No, I just don't want to be reminded of what I can't do to him right now....
"Oh, sorry, I guess I just got carried away." He smiles and forces a few laughs. I pat him on his shoulder and tell him it's time we went to sleep.
The next morning did not go so well. Everyone was crying because the funeral was today. The adults (yeah, I know I'm an adult now, but I just mean the older adults) got out the photo albums and just about drenched them with tears. The youngsters and I talked in the sitting area before we all got ready for the funeral.
The funeral was nice. Well, as nice as they can be. There were a lot of people there. A lot of friends from Little Rock, and some family I still didn't know. She had requested that a lone violinist play at the burial as her casket was lowered. That was the saddest moment for me.
When we came back to the house, everyone went to their rooms. After Mark and I changed, we just sat on the bed and talked some more. In the middle of our conversation, I turned on the tv.
"I'm not that boring, am I?" Mark jokes.
"No, just watch." I turn it on Oprah, just in time to hear her announce that the Backstreet Boys were her guests.
"Oh! Cool!"
We watched as the guys came out, all dressed in blacks and browns. I've always loved my Brian in brown. Hehehe: MY Brian. They talked for a while.
Oprah: "So, you guys are gonna do a few songs today?"
Kevin answers, "Yes. We're going to do 'Larger Than Life' [crowd roars] and 'The One' later."
Brian continues, "But after this break we're going to do a slower sad song called 'Show Me The Meaning'."
Nick says, "Yeah, one of our employees and closest friends had a death in his family. So we're dedicating this one to you, Chris."
Howie adds, "This is to let you know that you aren't alone."
AJ continues, "You have the five of us for best friends. How bad could it be?" The audience and Oprah laugh.
Mark slaps my shoulder. "You are SO lucky!"
I tug at my imaginary suspenders. "Yep, yep." We both laugh. After the commercial, Oprah once again introduced them. Kevin and Brian sat on stools and the rest stood as they sang "Show Me The Meaning." When Brian's part came first, it felt like he actually was singing it to me. I felt it in my heart.
"Mmmm, he's hot." Mark laughs.
"Okay, cool it down before I have to throw you in a cold shower."
"Sorry, just had to get it out of my system."
"If you have to get anything out of your system, I suggest doing it in private." He doesn't catch it at first, but he slaps me again when he gets it. "Now quiet down and watch."
We finished watching Oprah. The usual stuff: How's the tour? What are your favorite songs on the new album? What's it like on the road all the time? And the guys handled it as usual.
Just then, there was a knock on the door. It was my dad. He told me that he had an emergency in New York. Then he asked if I could stay with my mom for the rest of the week. I told him I could, that I had vacation time outside of tour breaks.
"Man, if I were you, I'd get back to the Backstreet Boys."
"Well, she's not your mother." He nods his head in understanding.
At about 6, I called Brian to tell him. Mark had went to get some dinner. I wasn't up to it at the time, so I just hung out in my room.
"Hello. Brian speaking."
"I thought only secretaries answered the phone that way."
"Chris! How are you doing?"
"Pretty good."
"That's good. I'm so sorry for your aunt's death."
"Thanks. It's been rough, but not too bad actually. I miss you so much."
"I miss you too, baby. We didn't have a lot of time together after the wedding you know.... When are you coming back to me?"
"That's actually what I have to talk to you about."
"I don't like the sound of that, Christopher."
"Well, my dad has an emergency in New York, so he asked if I could stay for the rest of the week. I can't leave my mom like this. You should have seen her...it was terrible." My voice started to tremble as I remembered how my mom was.
"Oh, please don't cry. It's alright. I understand. You shouldn't leave her if she's really bad."
"Thank you for understanding."
"Shoot, I just rememberd. We're bussing out tomorrow to Denver."
"Oh gee darn, I have to miss my first bus trip?" I said it with sufficient sarcasm. "Alright, I can fly out of there on Fri...no, Sunday." I changed the day just so I could surprise him. I smiled at my little plan.
"Ok. I really miss you, baby."
"I miss you too. I love you."
"I love you."
Mark walks in the door. "Hey, who ya talkin' to?"
"Brian." His eyes and mouth pop open. "Hey Brian, I got a little fan here who'd like to talk to you." Mark starts waving his hands NO.
"Really? Please tell me she won't scream in my ear."
"It's not a 'she'. It's my...something-cousin Mark."
"Does he know about us?"
"No, but he knows about me. If you want to tell him, go ahead. Here he is." I hand the phone to Mark, who handles it like its the world's biggest, and most fragile, diamond.
Mark: "Hello?...Hey...I'm fine...Yeah, I love you..guys..all of you, I mean, uuuhhh...I think I like Millenium better....uh-huh...'The One'...I don't know why...yeah, he told me he was right after I told him I was...yeah...thanks...Chris has been great about it...He has a boyfriend, you say?" Mark smiles at me. "Who is it?" A few seconds later, his mouth drops to the underground bomb shelter of this old house. "NO WAY!...no, he didn't tell me!...I am so embarassed...oh, no reason...really...I can't believe that you are, ya know...yeah...oh my gosh...no, I swear I won't tell anyone...I promise, besides the two of you could beat me up...okay...yeah, you too....that would be great!...okay, I'll do that...Bye!" He hands the phone back to me, his hand shaking.
"Hey. You've certainly made his day."
"He seems pretty cool." Brian laughs a little.
"He is. He's in shock right now."
"Shock you say?"
"Yeah. Guess which Backstreet Boy he has a crush on." Mark hits me in the arm.
"Oh good, at least I have a fall-back." He laughs. "Well, Kevin's practically pulling me out the door for dinner. I love you."
"Say Hi to the rest of the guys for me and Mark. And I love you too, Brian." I say it to kinda rub it in Mark's face. He makes a face at me and flips me off. I laugh.
"I don't want to know. Goodbye, Christopher."
"Bye." I put the receiver back on its hook.
"I can't believe you didn't tell me! I hate you! I am so embarassed! That stuff I said...." Mark's face is red, and he covers it with his hands.
"Oh, now, come on. You can't expect me to go around telling everyone. Besides, what you said wasn't all that embarassing. True, I wouldn't have said it to Brian_Littrell's_boyfriend either, but...." I trail off. And I am rewarded with a pillow to the head.
Mark and his family left the next day, like just about everyobdy else. The following days proved to be a real trial. My mother was on the verge of a complete break-down, but Aunt Alice and I were alwasy there to comfort her. I also made sure she talked to Dr. Miller at least an hour a day. That always seemed to help. By Thursday, the worst was over. Being in Beth's house didn't help any, but she got through it. After lunch, she, Alice, and I sat in the living room.
"Alice, Chris, I'm so sorry I've been such a burden these past few days. I know you both have loves, and jobs, to get back to."
Alice pats my mother's knee. "Now, come on. We both understand. This hasn't been easy for any of us."
"Yeah, mom, we understand. Our jobs and lives can wait." We sat in silence for a few moments.
Aunt Alice got a devilish grin on her face, so I knew she was up to something. "So, Chris, tell me: How are things with Briiiiiaaaaan?" She bats her eyebrows. The look on my face made my mom laugh.
"Mother, I cannot believe you told the Biggest Mouth West of the Mississippi."
Alice feigns a hurt look. "Excuse me?" I just laugh. I hold out my right hand and look at the ring, smiling ear-to-ear and tilting my head back and forth. "NO WAY, CHRIS!"
My mom says, "How? Nobody...what...huh?"
"Relax, mom, it's not legal. We just wanted to show each other how much we love each other. So we had this 'wedding'." I made the quote marks with my fingers. "Remind me next time I visit, and I'll bring the video."
Mom gets a dreamy look on her face. "You two are really in love, aren't you?"
As I think, I get the dreamy look too. "Yes, we are. I don't know...it's just...amazing."
Alice: "So, after this so-called wedding, was there a so-called honeymoon?"
I answer smartly, "As a matter of fact, there was, so" I stop abruptly. "I cannot believe I am talking about this with you two!" I can feel the blood rising to my face.
Mom says, "Well, Chris, I like to think we've always been a close family. I'd like to think that now you're an adult, we can also be like friends. Besides, I've kinda been wondering...you know...about...all that stuff."
"'All that stuff'? Mo-ooommm!! Stop!"
Alice butts in, "No, Chris. I think the best place to start would be with something totally wild. Like...how big is he?" She puts her elbows on her knees and leans closer to me. My mom does the same, with a smile on her face.
"Oh no, there is no way I am talking to you two about stuff like that. I cannot believe this." I shake my head and start to get up. However, Alice puts her hands on my shoulders and pushes me back down. "Hey! I don't have to say a thing about this."
Mom says, "Chris, you've never been good at pretending you're angry. I know you want to tell us." A huge smile crosses my face.
"If I give you a number, will you just shut up and let me leave?" They both raise their right hand in a swear and nod. "Fine......9."
I get up as Alice starts her cat-calls and "whoooooaaaa"s. Shaking my head, I retreat to the great outdoors.
The next day. "Now I want you to call me as soon as you get to Denver, young man. I want to make sure you made it okay." Mom pulls my head down so she can kiss my forehead.
"Alright mom. I promise I will call you."
"I love you."
"I love you too, mom."
Alice hugs me and whispers, "Your mom doesn't know it, but I'm going back to New York with her for a while. Take care of yourself, and that hunk of yours."
I laugh. "Oh believe me, I will." I pull away from the hug and wink at her. She laughs. "Love ya, gals." I wave and enter the walkway to the plane.
'Just a short flight back to my Brian!!' I am so excited, I am unaware that I am bouncing up and down in my seat slightly. The gentleman sitting next to me clears his throat while giving me a stern look. "Sorry, I'm just kinda excited." He goes back to reading his Wall Street Journal without a word. 'Jack-ass.'
Unlike my other flights, I can't sleep a wink. The flight attendant came by with our lovely lunches. The guy next to me complained about everything: the food, the service, the noise, everything. The flight attendant took it all in stride, but I knew she didn't like it.
I can't believe I've been away from Brian for a whole week. That is unbelievable. Surprisingly, it went by quickly. I'm glad. I didn't want the torture of being away from him to last forever. Although we talked on the phone every day, it just wasn't the same. I had to be with him. Then everything would be okay.
"Sir? SIR?"
"Oh, yeah? Sorry 'bout that."
"It's alright, sir. We're landing, and we need you to put up your food tray and fasten your seatbelt."
"Alrighty." The man next to me look at me like I'm some imbecile. As I hand her my still nearly-full can of soda, I let it 'slip' and fall into the guy's lap.
"Shit! You idiot! Look what you've done!"
"I am so sorry! Here, let me help." I give a quick glance and smile to our flight attendant; she runs back to hide her laughter and get some napkins.
Again with the smelly taxis. What, do they make them smelling like this? Is it some mandatory feature of the cars? I smile politely at the driver and tell him...her...no...yeah, her my destination. Name plate says "Maria", so I'm going to have to go with female.
"I believe I have a reservation."
"Name?"
"Chris Paige." I get out my BSB worker's card and show her, just in case she thinks they put me on the wrong floor."
"Alright, Mr. Paige. Your room is 407. Here are your keys. And we have a message for you. Have a nice stay." I take the note. It says "He's in 406 -- AJ". I had told AJ that I was going to be in earlier than I told Brian because I needed one of them to get me a room, and I knew Kevin couldn't keep a secret from Brian. A bellboy takes my larger bags and promises to bring them up soon. I head to the elevator and press '4'. When I step out, I get out my appointment book and make a note of what hotel and room I'm in.
As I round the corner, I see a guy standing outside what should be room 406. I duck back around the corner and peek around. Two hands come out of the door and grab his. Then, Brian comes out of the door and kisses him!
To Be Continued....