The Fictional characters portrayed in this story bear no likeness to the actual Backstreet Boys or the members of Nsync. I have no idea what the sexual preferences of the BSB or the members of Nsync really are and do not mean to imply anything about actual living people. My fictional Characters are part of my vivid imagination. There are some very strong Homosexual themes in this story. If you are under age please do us all a favor and click off and find something else to do with your time. Go read a book, watch a video, or play a game of basketball or Command and Conquer that is a cool computer game. You are welcome to come back when you are 18.
Special Note to AJ
Dear AJ,
Please take the time to get well. We are your fans and we love and care for you very much. Yes we would love to see you performing again soon. But not at the cost of your happiness or your sobriety so please take the time you need to get well. Know that we will be here for you in spirit and that all of our prayers are with you.
We love you and God Bless you
Travis Smith
I encourage all the other authors and fans to send letters to the BSB Official Fan Club and let AJ know that we love him so very much and that we want him back but only when he is ready to come back. We have to let him know that we want him back well and happy. The music can wait. What is important is his happiness, his health and most importantly his sobriety.
Get Another Boyfriend
Chapter 23
I hung up the phone and sat down in the sofa. HIV kept running through my head. "I can't have HIV!" I said out loud. My own voice startled me as I realized that I had said that last part out loud. "Oh God Kevin," I whimpered as I thought of all the times I had unprotected sex with him. "Oh God, please let it be something else." The thought of causing my love of my life to die was almost to much to bear. The tears came in a rush as I stumbled to my feet and headed towards the bathroom. My morning breakfast was coming up and it was coming up fast. I barely made to the toilet before I emptied my stomach it's contents. As I passed the mirror I looked into it and shook my head. "What were you thinking?" I shouted at it. "How could you put him at risk like that?" I really didn't expect an answer from the mirror. In order for me to get the answer I needed I would need to do some serious soul searching. Making my way to the bed I fell into it wrapping my arms around my knees and pulling them up so that I was lying in a fetal position. Eight hours later that is where Kevin found me.
From Kevin's point of view.
"Come on Tyler," I said to the sleeping child in the car seat behind me. "We're home and it is time to get you to bed."
"I'll carry him up for you," Nick replied. "You've been carrying him all day." I smiled my thanks to him and got out of the car and headed up to the apartment. "He really wore himself out didn't he?"
"Yea Disney has a habit of doing that to little children," I said trying really hard not yawn but failing.
"Speaking of wore out!" giggled Nick. I glared at him as I pushed the elevator button that would take us up to my floor.
"All I want to do is take a nice long bath and crawl into bed with my sweetie," I replied as I stifled another yawn.
"Kevin," Nick teased me. "It is only 6:00." The elevator stopped and we stepped out and headed down the hall that led to my apartment. I slid the key in and opened the door. "That is odd, all the lights are out." I simply nodded and turned on the hall light to allow Nick to put Tyler to bed. I headed into living room and looked around for Matt. After finding no sign of him I wondered into the bedroom and turned on the light. My heart gave a jump when I heard sobbing. He was laying in the middle of the bed in a fetal position. He was crying in his sleep.
"I'm sorry Kevin," he wept. "I didn't mean to kill you." I was at his side in a heart beat.
"Matt?" I asked softly. He kept sobbing and thrashing around in the bed. I grabbed him by the shoulders and sat him up. His eyes popped open and he looked into my eyes. He than did something that tore my heart in two. He wrenched himself away from me.
"Get away from me!" he screamed. "I'm a killer!"
"Matthew baby," I tried to reason with him. "You are not a killer baby."
"Yes I am!" he shouted at me with tears flowing down his face. "I've killed you!" Ok so I was confused. I'm sitting here with my heart beating and I'm breathing and I am thinking that my sweetie has flipped. Yep! I was alive. I watched with my heart aching as Matt sat at the edge of the bed burying his head in his hands. I reached out and touched his shoulder thankful that he didn't pull away this time.
"Matt?" I asked, my voice choking up. He looked at me with such pain an sorrow in his eyes that I had a hard time holding it together. "Please let me hold you?" He scooted over to me and I gathered him in my arms. "Now tell me why you think you are a killer."
"I got a call from the doctor's office today," he sniffled. "My HIV test is back." My heart turned to ice.
"Baby?" I asked. "What did it say?"
"I don't know," he sniffled again wiping his nose on his sleeve. "They want to meet with me." My world came to a crashing halt. They never wanted you to meet with them to discus the results. This could mean only one thing. I started sweating hard and I started shaking. "Kevin?" he asked. I stood up and tried to walk to the window but I didn't make it that far. The room got really dark and I could hear him calling my name. The sweats continued and I started to loose my vision. Than I fell into a peaceful abyss of darkness.
"Oh shit!" Matt shouted. Nick Popped his head in the room and saw Kevin laying on the floor face down. "He passed out!" He yelped. Nick moved quickly to turn him over.
"Kevin?" he asked urgently. "Come on Kev, wake up man!" I let out a soft moan and opened my eyes and looked up at Nick. "Just lay there for a few minutes and get your bearings." Matt's face swam into view next. His eyes were so full of concern and worry that I had to smile.
"I'm so sorry Kevin," he sobbed out. "I've ruined every ones life."
"No baby," I soothed him. "You didn't ruin anyone's life baby."
"Um guys?" asked a worried Nick. "Umm what is going on?" I held out my hand and Nick grabbed and with the help of Matt and Nick I got to my feet and made my way to the bed and sat down on it.
"Matt got his HIV Results back," I stated bluntly. "He thinks he is positive." I heard Nick gasp out loud. "We are not sure what those results say. But I can say this. We are going to find out. Matt and I are flying back to Vermont and find out." Matt opened his mouth to argue but I stopped him with one look. "No Matt! I am not going to allow you to face this alone!" Matt nodded quietly and continued to hang on me. "Now when was the last time you ate?" I asked him. He shrugged his shoulders. "You did eat something today didn't you?" I asked him sternly. He shook his head no. "Matt, you need to eat and take care of yourself." I got up and went to the kitchen and started dinner. I wasn't hungry but I knew Matt was. I watched with worry as Matt walked to the living room and sat down looking out the window. I also watched Jake hop on the sofa and laid his head in Matt's lap. Matt stroked Jake's head and continued to stare out the window. Soon Tyler came walking back into the living room. He had just woken up from his small nap. He climbed up in the sofa and snuggled close to Matt. I had to smile at the adorable picture they made. Father and son and puppy all snuggled on the couch. But when I saw the pain and fear in Matt's eyes I hurt. I hurt so much that I would've gladly traded placed with him. Putting on a smile I made my way back to the living room.
"So how is my little family?" I asked with forced cheerfulness. Tyler looked up and grinned at me. "Why are you up buddy?" I asked as I ruffled up his hair. He swatted my hand away and giggled loudly. I sat down next to Matt and pulled him close. "We are going to get through this baby," I whispered in his ear. He nodded and leaned in for a kiss. I eagerly graced his lips with mine. I captured his tongue with mine.
"Eww Yucki!" giggled Tyler. "Come on Jake let's go play!" I could tell that Jake wasn't to excited about his cuddle time getting interrupted but he obeyed his young master and followed him out of the room.
"Did you all have fun?" Matt asked softly.
"Yes we did," I replied. "Tyler was happy to meet Mickey and if that was he got to do than the whole trip was worth it. But as it was he wore us out!"
"Yea well Disney probably does that to people," Matt sighed. "I hope that Tyler wasn't to much trouble."
"Matt," I scolded him. "You know I love spending time with him. I love him very much and he could never be any trouble."
"You shouldn't have to watch him so much," Matt said looking away. "I mean you have your own lives to live. Maybe Tyler and Me are just in the way." Ok so I got mad. I grabbed Matt by the shoulder and turned him around so that he was facing me. He was looking down.
"Look at me," I ordered him. He shook his head no. I than took him by the chin and pulled his head so that he had no choice but look at me. "I love you Matt!" Tears flowed out of his eyes. "What can I do to prove that too you."
"Look at what I did to you?" he sobbed. "I put you in danger!"
"Is this about your HIV test?" I asked sharply. He nodded. "Matt baby, we don't know for sure if you have HIV. And if you do nothing is going to change between us."
"Yes it will!" he sobbed out. "God Kevin don't you see? If I'm positive than that means that I will die!"
"Can I ask you a question?" I asked him. He nodded wiping the tears from his face. "Do you love me?"
"Of course I do," he said sharply. "You know that I love you!"
"Than why are you trying to push me away from you and Tyler?" I demanded.
"I don't want you to go through the pain of losing me if I do have HIV," he sobbed at me trying to push me away.
"And what I want doesn't matter right?" I shot back at him. "You just want me to walk away from you and Tyler and pretend that I don't love you? No!" I shouted at him. "I won't do that! I love you and Tyler to much to do that and you can't make me!" Matt tried to get up but I held him down. "Oh no you don't!" I rasped at him. "You are not going to run from this. We are going to talk this out!"
"I don't want to talk about it!" he screamed at me as he wrenched himself out of my arms and lurched forward and hit his knee on the coffee table. I watched as he hopped around swearing at the pain he had caused himself. Sighing I got up and went to him and pulled him in my arms. "I'm scared Kevin," he sobbed into my chest. "I could've killed you and Nick!"
"Is that what this is about?" I asked as I tenderly kissed his knee. He sniffled and nodded. "Oh baby, we don't blame you for that."
"But I blame myself for it!" he wailed. "I can't stand that fact that I could've given you HIV! That is it!" he declared. "I'm not ever having sex again!"
I snorted with laughter at the prospect of (Horny Teenager Matthew Whitewater) leading a chaste life. He glared at me and that made it worse because than I did bust up laughing. "I'm sorry Matt," I gasped in between laughing. "I just can't picture you not having sex!"
"Ok well maybe we'll have to rethink that one," he giggled. He sat down on the sofa still nursing his hurt knee. "What do we do now?"
"We have a nice dinner with our little family and than we fly out to Vermont and go home and I put you into bed and hold you all night long," I said as I ran my fingers through his blonde hair. He moaned softly at the touch. "Speaking of dinner I should get it out of the oven."
The next morning.
"Kevin?" asked a small voice. I looked over and smiled at Matt. "Where is Tyler?" I sighed as I took Matt's hands and held them close.
"Don't you remember?" I asked. I really wasn't surprised that Matt was confused. He was still hung up on the ideal that he was infected with the HIV Virus. "He is at home with Nick."
"Oh yea right," he mumbled. "I'm so sorry," he sobbed out.
"Would you stop saying that baby?" I sighed again. "For the last time this is not your fault!" I felt the car stop, "Now come on and dry those tears cause we are at the Doctor's office." In a few minutes later we walked into the reception area. Thankfully it was empty.
"Were here to see Doctor Jones," I told the receptionist.
"Your names please?" she asked.
"Matthew Whitewater, and I'm Kevin Richardson," I told her.
"Oh yes Dr. Jones is expecting him. You may take him back, the second door on your right," the receptionist smiled. I took Matt by the hand and led him down the hall and into an office. I could feel Matt shaking in fear.
"Baby," I tried to sooth him. "I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." He nodded and laid his head on my shoulder. I turned and planted a small kiss on the top of his head. The door opened and Doctor Jones stepped in.
"Good morning Kevin, Good Morning Matt," he said with a cheerful smile. "I trust you guys had a good flight in?"
"Yes Doctor," I said slowly. He seemed way to cheerful to the bearer of bad news.
"Matt's not talking this morning?" asked the doctor.
"Can we please just get this over with?" grumbled Matt.
"Just catching up on small talk is all," Dr. Jones replied as he paged through the file. "Some didn't have his morning coffee this morning."
"Can we just get on with ending my life please!" shouted Matt. "How the hell can you be so fucking happy when you are about to tell me that my life is ending!" Dr. Jones sighed and laid the file down and looked hard at Matt.
"Did you eat breakfast this morning?" asked the Doctor. Matt shook his head no. "I thought so. Tell me something. Have you been drinking plenty of water?" Matt shrugged his shoulders. Ok so now I was getting inpatiant too.
"Doctor?" I asked only to be stopped by Dr. Jones glaring at me.
"Why do you think I asked you in?" Dr. Jones asked.
"The Nurse said you got my HIV results in," Matt said. "She said you had to talk to me about it."
"Oh," replied the doctor. Leaning back in his chair he thought for a while. "Been engaging in unsafe or unprotected sex." It wasn't a question it was a statement. Matt let out a small sob. "That was stupid of you. You realize that you are putting each other in mortal danger by having unprotected sex with out knowing for sure each other's HIV status?" I nodded silently. "You, Kevin are how old? 29? Matt is only 18! You should have more sense than to put Matt in danger like that!"
"Come on!" Matt shouted. "Let just get this over with!"
Chapter 24
Dr. Jones glared at Matt for a few minutes before opening the file again. "You are Negative," he said slowly. I watched as Matt crumbled in my arms sobbing loudly with relief. He gave us a few minutes to collect ourselves before continuing. "The real reason I called you in for is so that I could scold the hell out of you Matt!" Matt looked up as he wiped the tears from his face with his sleeve. "I got your lab tests back and you have been putting your body through hell! You're not eating, you're not sleeping, hell you're not even drinking enough water!" I glared at Matt angry at him because he promised me he wouldn't do that again. "I can tell that Kevin loves you very much and you should be thankful for him. Now I have drawn up a lists of things for you to do. A diet of good healthy food and an exercise routine. And I want you to get plenty of rest." Doctor Jones got up and walked around and sat down next to Matt and put his arm around him. "You have a great life, a wonderful son who loves you very much and you have a great boyfriend who would die for you. You owe it to them to take care of yourself. Now I want you to promise me you will take care of your self." Matt mumbled that he would do what Dr. Jones asked.
"Thank you Doctor," I said shaking his hand. In a few minutes we were on our way back to the car. Once there I purposely sat across from him. He looked up at me hurt. "You lied to me," I said softly. "You promised me that you would take care of yourself."
"I'm sorry," he sobbed out.
"Sorry don't cut it if you are dead!" I hurled at him. "I'm much to busy to play nursemaid for you! I want a honest to goodness relationship with you. I don't want to be a babysitter Matt. I didn't sign on for that!" Matt hung his head with tears flowing. "If you are hurting than tell me. If you can't eat tell me. But don't lie to me about it. I want to help you but I won't tolerate you lying any more." Matt nodded and I got up and sat next to him pulling his close. For the first time I realized that he was a lot thinner than he used to be. "Why aren't you eating baby?" I asked. "Why aren't you sleeping and taking better care of yourself?"
"I hurt all the time," he said a small voice. "I miss my mom and dad, I hate James and what he did to me and my family. I hate the fact that my son has to grow up without his grandparents. I hate the fact that I have to grow up so fucking fast!" I put myself in Matt's position for a few minutes and I realized that he was right. He was just a teenager thrust very quickly in a grown up world. "I'm sorry for dumping all of my feelings on you Kevin," he finished.
"You have nothing to be sorry for. I love and I care for you. I just need to keep realizing that you and I are in very different age groups. I'm sorry I came down hard on you," I replied leaning down and kissing him lightly on the lips. "Now lets get you home so we can start taking care of you."
Later that day at the Whitewater mansion from Matt's point of view.
I looked down at the plate before me and frowned. Kevin instructed Cook to take the Doctor's list of things to cook for me very seriously. I was staring at Steamed fish, steamed rice and steamed vegetables. "Yuck!" I grumbled. Kevin looked at me with a scolding look. I stabbed a piece of fish with my fork and ate it. Surprisingly it was good. In about fifteen minutes I was done. I felt like a stuffed pig but at least I wasn't hungry any more.
"There," Kevin said as he rubbed my shoulders. "That wasn't so bad now was it?"
"No Kevin sweetie," I smiled at him. "So what is next?"
"Your exercise routine," he grinned as he tugged on my hand.
"Are you going to work out too?" I asked hopefully.
"Yes I am, this is a team effort," he replied.
"Ohhh goodie!" I exclaimed grinning. "I get to see you all sweaty and sexy." Kevin just shook his head and laughed.
"Come on horny toad let's go work out." With that I happily followed him to our gym. Later I would grow to hate his "Exercise Routine".
"Come on Kevin!" I whined as I continued to run along beside him on the treadmill. "I'm dying here!"
"Oh no you are not," Kevin giggled. "You're just not used to it is all." After a hour more of his torture he hit the stop button on the treadmill. "Now let's hit the sauna."
"Oooh goodie!" I grinned again. "Do I get to see you naked?" Kevin shook his head and laughed. "What?" I asked all innocent.
"You are impossible," he chuckled.
"I can't help it if you are incredibly good looking and that the sight of you all naked gets me excited," I grumbled pretending to pout.
"Uh uh that is not going to work Mr. Horny Toad. Yes you get to see me naked now get in sauna," he replied swatting me on the but. I made it in first and sat down in the comforting heat. The door opened and my breath caught in my throat. His entire body was shimmering and glistening. His hair was all wild with droplets of sweat hanging from the ends. I swallowed hard and looked down. There was no hiding my excitement. Kevin snickered at my problem and sat down across from me. "Having a little problem over there?" he asked grinning seductively as he tossed the towel aside revealing himself to me. I gulped and swallowed again. That sent Kevin into a fit of laughter.
"Hey!" I pouted. "Don't laugh at me!"
"I'm sorry sweetie," he giggled. "I just love to see you all flustered and sexually frustrated."
"Well what are you going to do about it?" I demanded smirking back at him.
"Nothing," he snickered. I huffed and turned the other way deliberately not looking at him.
"Matt sweetie," he cooed from across the sauna.
"I'm not talking to you!" I pouted.
"We can't have sex in the sauna," he replied. "We can very easily get dehydrated from it." When I continued to pout he sighed and made his way over to me and took my limp cock in his hand and stroked it a few times. I let out a soft moan and he stopped. Glaring at him he put his finger to my lips to stop me from protesting. "But if you are really good and you lie down and take a nap with me than I promise to make love to you tonight after dinner."
"Promise?" I asked looking up at him with pleading eyes.
"I promise sweetie," He whispered as he leaned forward and kissed me lightly on the lips.
Later that afternoon from Kevin's point of view, Matt was still tossing and turning.
"Matt sweetie?" I asked softly. He looked up at me wide awake. "Go to sleep."
"I'm sorry," he replied as he plopped his head down on the pillow. "I can't sleep."
"Would it help if I hold you?" I asked holding out my arms. I was tired from the workout and wanted to go to sleep and Matt wasn't making it easy on me. He nodded and snuggled into my arms. I spent the next half an hour holding him and rubbing his shoulders. Finally I was rewarded with his soft snoring. I closed my eyes and allowed sleep to overcome me.
Later that afternoon I am awaken by a pair of little fingers prying my eyelids open. A very hyper Tyler was peeking down at me. "Pappa?" he asked. "Are you awake yet?"
"I'm awake now," I chuckled as I grabbed him and pulled him into bed with me and started to tickle him. In no time at all I had him screaming with joy.
"Ahem!" coughed a voice. I looked back to see Matt grinning at me. "What are you two up too?"
"Were having fun!" giggled Tyler as he snuggled close to me.
"Did you have a good nap sweetie?" I asked him. He nodded as he laid his head on my chest. "You still tired?" He nodded. "Well why don't you nap for a little longer and Tyler and I will get into mischief." I eased out of bed and slipped on a pair of shorts and swung the hyper child up on my shoulders and headed out of the room. I had a dinner to plan and a toddler to play with for the rest of the after noon.
"Pappa?" he asked. "Can I build a tree house?"
"Sure Tyler, you can build anything you want," I replied shaking my head. It was going to be a long night.
TBC
E-mail me at trav14due@yahoo.com