Gerry and Todd

This is a story about a man and a handicapped teenage boy that meet and fall in love. If you are underage or offended by the subject matter, please leave. Up to the point where they talk for quite some time, the story is real for the most part. We did part without ever exchanging anything more than conversation. He was just as beautiful as described. Maybe if I had been more aggressive...who knows? The rest is strictly fiction and wishful thinking on my part. Please send any comments to redfordtodd1_@hotmail.com.

Be kind as this is my first effort. No offense to handicapped persons is intended. I already have additional chapters ready, if you the reader are interested. It may come across as long winded and I don't always get right to the sex. (there is more in later chapters) I wanted the reader to feel like these were real people, and get to know them. I want to give credit to my good friend, Wilson, who has helped me more than he will admit as my editor.

Any similarities between a character and a real person, living or dead, are purely coincidental. Any actions the reader takes as a result of reading this story are not the responsibility of the author. You may not reproduce, post, or distribute this story in any way without the author's expressed written permission. You may print out one copy or save one copy of this story for your own viewing and entertainment. By reading further, you implicitly are agreeing to the above guidelines.

Dear readers, my thanks to all of you, and please do keep in touch.

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Dear readers, as I feel that the only way for this story to properly be told, there will be other points of view shown from this chapter on.

• Todd *

"Now, how am I supposed to hide this thing from the folks?" Gerry asked as he looked down at his crotch.

Smiling, and shaking my head, "I guess you could always put ice on it to reduce the swelling."

He shook his head, and shivered. "Oh, so now you think you're a doctor, or something?" He said. Then grinning, "Well... I guess I can't complain too much about your bedside manners."

"Complaints... complaints... every time I try and help you with `junior' down there, he spits up all over the place. Talk about ungrateful..." I stood there with an indignant look on my face. He tried to hold it back but, he even put his hand over his mouth but, he finally cracked and burst out laughing, and I found myself joining him.

There was a loud knock on the door. "Boys, we've got a lot to do today, you'd better get a move on," Em stated in a stern voice. "Are you even showered yet?"

Glancing at Gerry, he lowered his head as he answered, "no, mam. We'll get on it right away."

"Todd," she called out, "what about you?"

"I'm sorry, Em, also guilty as charged." [the feeling of guilt was shared]

Glancing at Gerry he rolled his eyes at my reply. "Just you wait!" I hissed at him.

"Mmmm....mmmm, can't!"

As he began to reach for me, I slapped his hand. He quickly pulled it back and rubbed it.

"Ow, that wasn't very nice." He frowned.

I picked up his robe and tossed it at him, as I put on mine. "Shower, now buster!"

With a leer, he put his on, "but I'll need you to do my back."

"It'll be your backside if you don't get going, now move it!" My look showed that I was serious, I hadn't realized that I had yelled.

His look said he couldn't believe I had spoken to him like that. Thinking for a moment, I couldn't believe it, either.

"Baby," I said softly looking into his eyes, "I am so sorry for talking that way to you. It wasn't fair." A single tear was running down his cheek. Now, I had really done it. For everything that he was to me, and I had treated him like dirt. [his hurt made itself felt] The anger at myself was building quickly, as usual, and I didn't notice the expression on his face as he watched it. Thinking the anger was at him, Gerry began to cry harder. [his hurt was increasing] I had to stop this now, before it went out of control. Turning away from him, facing the wall, I worked at pulling it together.

"I just want to make you happy," he sniffled. "Please, don't be so mad at me, Todd."

"It's me, Gerry. Not you."

"What do you mean?"

Get it right, this time, dummy, before you say a damned word to him.

"Todd, please, turn around. Please!"

I shook my head. There was no way, with what I had to tell him, that I could look at him. "Gerry, just listen... Ever since I can remember, my father abused me."

"You mean he used to beat you?"

Chuckling at that, and shaking my head no, "I sort of wished he had, at least that heals easily. No, he used to verbally abuse me. Nothing I ever did was good enough, and God help me if I actually screwed up on something. Always my fault. Always!" I paused for a moment, letting out this revelation was so hard to do, bringing back way too many memories of the past. "I rarely get angry with someone else because, I'm too busy being angry with me." It was almost as if I was losing control as my emotions began to overwhelm me and I fell to my knees with my head pressed to the wall. "I screwed up again, don't you see? This time I hurt you. ? I told myself that I never, ever, would do that to you.... Oh my God, how can I live with myself for that?... You deserve so much better... I did it again! Just like my father always blamed for! I can't do anything right. I'm a major 'fuck up' just like my father always said I was. I was the accident they hadn't planned on, he told me over and over. My father never wanted me. He made that clear every day of my life. 'I wish you had never been born.' he told me all the time."

My self-control was gone as I curled up into a ball and let the self-pity and hate take over. I sobbed uncontrollably. My bitter memories quickly replaced reality. There were voices around me, but they weren't getting through. Somehow, I was being lifted from the floor and set down where it was soft. I was being held tight, as a soothing woman's voice spoke in the background. "Mum?...Mum, please tell daddy that I do try, I really do... I'm not worthless, like he says all the time, am I?... Why does he hate me so?... Mum?... Mum, tell me again that I'm really special and how much you love me... Mum?"

• Gerry *

From the point that Todd raised his voice to me things began to spin out of control. As his anger escalated, so did my feeling of hurt. Once I realized that his anger was at himself, it was too late to stop the impending disaster. Just then I felt a surge of loathing from him. It was so intense that I quickly felt myself being pulled into his extreme despair.

The real world stopped existing for me. It was such a deep dark place that I found myself calling for help.

"Em, Bill, quick, we need you!"

Did I cry for help, or did Todd do it through me?

I was being dragged ever down into his bottomless well of bitterness and self-hate. No longer could I see the room around me. Todd's memories were fully becoming mine. How did he ever survive a father such as his? From his earliest memories, there was seldom any warmth shown him by his father. The constant negative energies supplied by this man were completely overwhelming. Battering away at Todd's very soul with such ferocity that it was beyond any cruelty a person could hope to endure. Almost every day, week after month after year. Grinding this wonderful person down until recently he had hit the bottom of his despair. No wonder he felt so little about himself that he was going to take his own life.

The memories changed. He began to think about his mum. Here was all of the warmth and love that had allowed him to survive. She had done her best to counteract the evil that Todd's father had done to him. She was incredible. When she had died Todd had lost the only protection that he had known against his father. Still he yearned for anything that could even remotely be considered love from this man. Somehow, he maintained a love for his father against all reasoning.

After Todd's mum had passed away, he had managed to hang on only because his father wasn't there. Just a few days after Todd's father returned the man had managed to reduce this wonderful man I loved to almost nothing. Not only did he pound away at Todd personally but he verbally attacked the memories Todd had of his mum. No words could describe what a horrific effect this had on Todd. The very core of my being ached for my man and what he had lived through. That's when Todd began to plot his suicide. I was trapped in a vortex of his pain and despair. The absolute darkness became even darker as the vortex seemed to whirl at a speed of unimaginable force. I felt myself screaming out my anguish.

That was when I began to faintly hear voices and feel a slight stinging sensation. Ever so slowly, the voices became more distinct and the stinging sensation more intense.

"Gerry, Gerry!" Another sharp sting. This time I felt it on my cheek. The darkness began to recede and the tear-streaked faces of my grandparents came into view. I was flat on my bed.

A noise pulled my attention to... "Todd!" I cried out. His whimpering form was in a fetal position on the floor.

A hand on my chin gently turned my head away. "Gerry, what on God's green earth is going on?" Gram asked with a very worried look.

I did my best to explain about the link' between Todd and I, leaving out the sex' parts. Instead of a look of disbelief on her and gramps' faces I saw a look of total understanding.

Grams face was serious, as she looked deeper into me than she ever had before. "We knew when you were born that you would probably have the gift'. I have a touch of it myself, but your mother had it full force. >From the time that she was a baby we knew that she was different. As she got older we had many talks and she worked at using it for all of the right reasons. When first she met your father she knew that he was the one. You see he also had the gift'. They both knew that they were meant to be together. Because of their gift' and yours is why you never fully felt the loss when they dies. You still feel them with you, don't you?" I nodded. "Your parents never said a word to us about your `gift'. Did they know?"

I looked back at her. "I guess. We never really said anything about it. That would explain why I never got away with much. Truthfully, there hasn't been much of any `gift' that I could tell before I met Todd. Since then it seems to get stronger every so often. In the last few hours it's become unreal."

Gram's had a slightly embarrassed look on her face. "Gerry, you and Todd have `shared' yourselves since yesterday, haven't you?"

I could feel myself blush. "I'm not sure just what you mean."

She smiled. "When your parents returned from their honeymoon there was a marked difference in their relationship. The intensity of it had been turned up a few notches. You and Todd have shared yourselves more deeply than ever before, haven't you?"

I was at a loss for words, as I nodded. At that time, Todd began to whimper and moan loudly. His sobs were wracking his body. It was tearing me apart to see him like this. I felt so helpless.

Gram spoke, "Gerry, there isn't much time left. It was obvious to me when I first met Todd that he has the 'gift' as well. In fact, I think that his is much stronger than yours is. That's probably why he is in the shape he is right now."

A wail arose from Todd's now hoarse throat. His body was convulsing as bad as any seizure I could imagine. I could sense that I was about to lose my man. His dark feelings were becoming stronger in me again.

Gram turned my face to hers. "Gerry, you have to try and block him out. Don't let his burden become yours again. Turn your mind to something else."

She got up from the bed and wordlessly she and gramps lifted Todd from the floor and set him down next to me.

`Gerry, you have to reach out to Todd." When I moved my hand she stopped me. "From your heart, baby."

It was difficult but she moved Todd so that his head was against her breast. "Reach out to him with all of the love and positive energy you have. Gerry, he's not just in his own hell right now, he's being slowly dragged toward the real thing. The devil's minions are trying for both of you. Fill your soul with all that he is to you and all that he has been so far."

I filled my thoughts with all that he had done for me and all that we had shared. Time seemed to stand still for quite a while. I could feel my energies dropping as I maintained my sense of love for him. More time passed and I began to feel weak. I never let my thoughts falter. Extreme warmth began to spread throughout my being and with it my energies began to increase. His love was pouring back into me with all of the energy he had.

I felt a smile forming on my face as I looked at Todd. I saw my awesome man as the strong loving person that meant more to me than my very life. Even more time passed. Gradually his whimpering began to subside and his talk became coherent again. He spoke of his mum; his mind was in a safe place.

Gram took my hand. "Baby, we have to talk before Todd comes around. He's out of danger now. I believe the bond that you two share is blessed but cursed at the same time. Evil wants the both of you. Your love for each other is almost more than the devil can stand. You must be on guard your whole life long. Evil will come your way when you least expect it. If it can separate you from Todd it will. Once that is done, then you both will be lost. Don't ever let any negative energy loose, especially around Todd. Evil will take it and run with it. That's what happened here, isn't it? One of you accidentally hurt the other? "

I nodded. "But how do you know so much?"

She smiled. "Just call it insight. I expect that if we were to go back far enough that you and Todd share blood. Did you know that you have Indian blood on both sides?" I shook my head. "My grandmother was full-blooded Maliseet. You probably never heard of them. They come from the same area as Todd's parents."

A shiver ran down my spine. "Todd told me once that his mum's grandmother was full blooded." I closed my eyes as visions quickly ran through me answering the question. "She was the same person. Her father was the tribal medicine man. He was very powerful." I shook my head at this revelation. "We have the same ancestor." I sat stunned as the reality of it hit home.

Gram just smiled and nodded. "First the bond of your love amplified by the bond of your blood, then add the ultimate sharing. You two have the ingredients for something that may have never existed before now."

She turned her attention to Todd. She began to rock him and stroke his brow. I could see the tension leave his body. "He may not remember the journey his soul has made in the last two hours. If he doesn't, don't remind him. You both will be safer for it."

• Todd *

Reality began to slowly come back to me. Em held me against her bosom, shushing me and stroking my brow, gently rocking me. I tried to get up, but she wouldn't let me.

"We all love you Todd, and you could never be more special to us. You've had a tough time of it, sweetie. I'm surprised you held together this long.

Losing your mum, almost losing Todd. I wondered how you could take much more." She spoke as if she were inside my head.

Turning my head and looking into her kind eyes, I began, "When my mum died in my arms, last year, they wouldn't let me cry. I had to be strong for everyone or so they all told me. I was never allowed to cry at the funeral, or after. Hold it in, I'd tell myself. It's so damn hard to do that all the time... She was ill for so many years before God finally took her from me. I do miss her, so much. She never even got to see that I finally found someone who is special too."

Em spoke, "She knows, Todd. She knows." At that, I broke down my walls, and let my grief out for the first time. Em just held me for so long.

"It's been really bad being so all alone." I sobbed.

"You're not alone anymore, Todd," Gerry spoke. He was sitting next to me rubbing my back.

Looking at him, he had been crying too.

Guilt began to eat at me again, and I turned my head. "Oh, God, Gerry. How can you even talk to me after the way I treated you?"

He took my hand, and slowly pulled me away from Em, until my head was resting against his chest. "Because, I love you so much. I may be younger than you, but that doesn't mean I can't be strong for you, like you are for me all of the time. Earlier, was nothing. You can yell at me all day if, that's what you want to do, I'm still going to love you. That isn't going to change." This man was getting through to me.

"You forgive me? As rotten as I was?" I looked up right at him.

"Spoiled rotten was the problem. You weren't letting me have my way. That's what really happened. You've never done that before. Plus, it's been so rare in recent years for anyone to yell at me, much less, at the same time I am being told no. I don't handle that word too well when it's used on me. Maybe because I've drummed into my head how much I hate it. Right after my first accident it started. 'No, you can't do this or that.' Why? 'Because you're a cripple.' So? 'No, forget it.' That's what was going on earlier. Pouting and crying because I didn't get my way."

His eyes showed me that he was being honest. [my soul felt it too, as well as the depth of his love] So, where do we go from here, I thought.

"I do love you, Gerry. Guess it's not always going to be perfect between us," I said with a slight smile.

Bill spoke up and ran his hand over his mouth, "Well, um, that's what the love is there for. When you love someone you just try and, um, well, work things out. Em and I, um, have, well, had some rough times. Um, we haven't always, well, seen eye to eye. Um, guess we have managed to, well, work things out every time." He looked at her, and spoke without a stutter or stammer; "you have always been the only woman for me, Em. Every year, every month, every day, I love you more than the one before." He crossed to her and bent down kissing her gently.

These words were as true as any I've ever heard. Gerry and I were both nodding in agreement.

He moved his lips to mine and tenderly slid his tongue into my mouth. At that moment my stomach let out a loud growl.

"Gerry, didn't you feed him anything yet?" Em asked.

We looked at each other, and I could feel the blush on my cheeks as I saw Gerry turning red. [definitely shared the embarrassment]

"Gotcha both with that one, didn't I?" Em said with a wink.

"Oh, no," I moaned, "it runs in the family!"

We all had a good long laugh.

Gerry's face grew serious as he placed his forehead to mine and looked into my eyes. "How are you feeling, mam?"

"Honestly, I haven't felt this calm and rested for a long time. I do have one request of you though."

"Whatever I can do, you know that. Your wish is my command." He said with his smirk.

"Well, I wish..."

He was getting impatient. "Go ahead, I can handle it."

I looked at him. "Okay, well, I wish I had..." My stomach let out another growl. "Some waffles, a farmer's omelette, some french toast, about a pound of ham, and a nice bacon and mushroom quiche."

He shook his head. "Wipe that smirk off your face. One of us is bad enough. And, real men don't eat quiche."

My stomach let out another growl. "Not only will I eat quiche, but also whatever it's served on if you let me go on much longer."

Em stood up. "If you promise to take a shower first, I could get you a bowl of Sugar Pops."

I looked wide-eyed. She definitely had my number. For the past two months, I probably went through at least a box every weekend. It was my favorite food of any kind, and she knew it.

I gave Gerry a quick kiss. "Baby, I love you, but I've gotta have my Pops!" At that I left a stunned Gerry and made a dash for the shower.

• Gerry *

I just sat there stunned for a few seconds. "Do you think he's going to be okay gram?"

Just then I heard something I had never expected. Todd was singing in the shower. I couldn't believe what a terrific voice he had. He'd never let me hear him sing before this. I listened for a few seconds before I recognized the song. `You're the best thing that ever happened to me.' My soul was filled to the top with my love for him. I was smiling and shaking my head as tears began to slowly roll down my cheeks.

Gram smiled at me and nodded. "He`s going to be just fine." She pulled me to my feet. "Gerry, there is no doubt that you are just what he's singing about. Now, why don't you go join him and your breakfast can wait for a few more minutes."

I did what I was told. We made love with him singing to me and the water pouring down on us. Sometimes life is so wonderful.

• Todd *

What in the world had happened to me? I remember that I had hurt Gerry earlier and how badly that I had felt about it. After that I couldn't remember anything until I looked into Em's face as she held me. After all of this time I had finally grieved for my mum. What an incredible relief it was to let it all out. Now, I felt on top of the world. In fact, I don't ever recall feeling as well physically and mentally as I did now.

I stripped off the robe and stepped into the shower. As I began to wash I noticed the remains of my earlier lovemaking with Gerry. Just the thought of him made my spirit soar. Without hesitation I began to sing the best thing that ever happened to me' with all of my heart. After just a few minutes, I sensed that my best thing' had just come into the bathroom.

Parting the curtain just enough, I looked upon his most beautiful countenance as he looked upon me. [love flowed between us with more power than ever] The expression on his face was beyond description. Warmth and joy flooded my very being.

Sitting on the stool, he set his crutches down and slid the robe from his shoulders. He got back up and slowly made his way to me as I finished the last of the song. The magnificence of his nude form was only exceeded by that of his soul. No words were necessary as we looked deeply into each other's eyes. I helped him into the tub and took him into my arms. The heat I felt as our bodies pressed together was astounding. I swear that there was an aura surrounding us. Moving us under the warm gentle spray, our lips met for our most intense kiss yet. The sensations running through me made my soul tremble. Time ceased to exist for us although I know it was only a matter of minutes that passed before the intensity of our simultaneous explosion almost caused us both to collapse from the sheer force of it. As it subsided, I pulled my lips from his so that I could gaze into his deep blue orbs. We were both filled by the passion of our feelings for each other. Feelings that couldn't ever be adequately expressed by words. Overcome with a need to try I began to sing 'Endless love' to my man.

Dear readers, I apologize for the delay. My friend and editor, Wilson has been gone for the holidays. In his absence, I took it upon myself to expand what I had for this chapter. What you have read is more than double it's original content. He has just read it and given his blessing.

This is the last of the chapters that I had completed some time ago. (or so I thought) Chapter 14, my first fully new work in months is almost complete. I hope that you continue to enjoy reading about Gerry & Todd as much as I enjoy writing it. Please drop me a line from time to time.

Todd