Disclaimer: I do not know the BSB nor have I ever met them in person. This is just a story something I made up in my own little world. In other words it's not real in anyway. ok now that that's over with on to more important stuff.
Warning: Like so many of my other stories I have no clue where I'm going with this. Ok I've failed but I'm not taking it to the max. But I'm not making promises so this really is a warning. There might be sex in this story I don't know yet. You've been warned, oh and it's a little sad. Ok this chapter is a little sad and may have sex. Just so you know
Authors note: Ok I love these don't you? And yes I lost my mind, it was really easy. So if you find it, tell me I could use it. OK these *** mean a character change in the story. A name will follow the little symbols or will be in the middle of the symbols. I'll try not to jump around to much, no promises there either. Ok for those of you that are still upset with me over Broken, I'm sorry. So please quit yelling at me, I know it was a little sad. I promise I'll try to give this one a happy ending, notice I said try. Anyway on with the story, oh and if you feel like it mail me with your thoughts.
**********Brian
I held onto his hand and looked at his lifeless form. He was gone, and I had never told him, but he told me. He had told me that he loved me before he passed out the first time. "You were my angel Chris, you were my everything. I had finally fallen in love with you for the right reasons. I was so scared that I would hurt you in the end. Then I saw that to night you were so much more than a beautiful man. I saw that you had the heart of an angel, willing to do anything to keep your loved ones safe. I had never seen that until tonight. I'm so sorry it took so long, to see who you really were. Jessie's going to come in here next, he let me come first. I promise that me and Nick will watch over Jessie. We'll take care of him for the rest of our lives, I hope you can hear me." Then his hand closed around mine tightly. Then something started beeping loudly, his heart was beating again. "I love you Brian, don't leave me, not ready yet." I looked around for a doctor, there wasn't one in sight. I couldn't say anything, he was alive and he shouldn't be. He pulled me to his lips and kissed me deeply. He opened his eyes and they were so green. I pulled back gently, I prayed that I wasn't dreaming. "My chest hurts, and other places to." I started screaming for a doctor, he was smiling.
We were leaving the hospital, it had been four days. Some of our concerts had been put on hold. The world seemed to be really understanding of everything. We all promised to make up the dates that we had missed. Chris was doing a lot better then he was when he first woke up. The doctors had ran so many test it wasn't funny. His lung that had been injured wasn't anymore. It was like it had never happened, if it weren't for the scar you would never know. They told him that regardless that he wouldn't dancing for a few months. He had asked if he could still sing without a problem. They had said that they didn't see a reason why he couldn't. Now that we were back in the limo, I could hold him in my arms. I was really careful not to touch any of the spots he had been stabbed. I kissed the top of his head, he looked up and smiled at me. Jessie had been acting strangely since Chris had woken back up. "What's wrong Jess, you feel so down?" Jessie looked up as if someone had shocked him. "You can still feel the connection?" Chris nodded slowly looking a little confused. "I haven't felt it for months Chris I thought you didn't either. No, that's a lie I knew that you had to keep feeling it. You never said anything, so I knew, and I'm sorry." Chris just looked at him, I could see the pain in his eyes.
Chris took a deep breath and sat up slightly. "Jessie, it's ok, it's not like you liked it anyway. I guess it was just me that wanted the bound don't blame yourself." Jessie just looked away, he was holding himself accountable for everything. "That's not the point Chris, if you had known then maybe you wouldn't have gotten hurt. If I hadn't been so damn selfish none of this would have happened. If you wouldn't have jumped in front of me, you wouldn't have almost died." Chris had tears streaming down his face. "I did die Jessie, and I wouldn't change a thing. Your my brother, I love you, and I would die for you in an instant. I did what I had to do, I couldn't let you get hurt if I could stop it. It wasn't your choice on whether I jumped in front of you or not. I made that choice myself, I didn't think twice about it. Your not to blame for anything so just stop it, do you get me stop it." Jessie had tears falling from his eyes, he was shaking his head. "Chris I would have thought twice, I did think twice. Your right it was your choice to save me, if I had been watching you wouldn't have needed to. You always think of everyone else, but no one else thinks about you. Doesn't that bother you? That you have to be the good one out of us? Yeah you've pulled some stunts in your life. But nothing like the shit I've done, this isn't the first time you've taken the fall for me." Chris jerked up real quick and pulled Jessie into his arms.
Jessie just cried his eyes out, and I noticed that there was a small amount of blood on Chris side. I went to move to him but Chris's eyes stopped me, he knew he was bleeding. "Jessie it's never really bothered me being the good one. I like it I get all the cookies and cakes." Jessie started to chuckle slightly before pulling away. Chris hid the blood on his side with his hand. He made it look like he was holding his sides with both hands. He fell back into my arms and smiled sweetly. "Chris, I promise I'll make it up to you, someway I will." Chris just shook his head and moved my hand to his side. He wanted to keep it hidden. I could feel the blood it wasn't so bad, but it worried me. He must have ripped a stitch when he grabbed Jessie. "If you say so, but don't worry about it ok?" Jessie nodded and moved into Nick's arms. It was the first time that he had let Nick hold him since Chris had died. I held Chris to my chest and kissed the back of his head. He really was an angel, he wasn't perfect but no one was. When we got back to the hotel Chris stayed close to my while I helped him walk. People were taking pictures of him and I walking. Some people were cheering, he was a hero in a lot of peoples eyes. When he had died for a few minutes and the world thought he was dead there were tears. Then word got out that he had amazingly returned to the living.
Now he was standing and walking into our hotel. It was one of the only times I would get to hold him in pubic. I could stay by his side for the next couple of week's but that was all. He had told me that he was going to let Jive set him up with someone. I hadn't liked the idea that he was willing to backtrack for me. I told him that if he didn't really want to that he shouldn't. He gave me this look that made me feel like I was five. Now that we were safely in our room I laid him down on our bed. He pulled me down beside him and kissed me. If it wasn't for the small fact that he was bleeding I would have done that all night. I pulled back and pulled his shirt up to look at the bandages. He frowned at me and slowly started to take them off. He gasped light as the air hit the stitches. It wasn't bleeding that bad right now. I sighed in, he was going to be all right and none of the stitches had ripped. "They had said I would bleed a little Bri, I'll be fine." He pulled me back to his lips, I didn't want to pull away but I did. He gave me a look that made him look like a lost child. "I want to make this official, will you be my boyfriend?" He smiled brightly and kissed me again. "If you didn't ask me I was going to ask you." I took that as a strong yes and kissed him again. He laid down on his good side and starred up at me.
He was trying to remove some of his clothing. "I'll give you a hand, or it's going to take you all night." He looked up and flipped me off, I started to say something, but he stopped me. I helped him take most of his clothing off, he still looked great. He laid in front of me in boxers, I didn't know he even wore boxers. "The nurses gave me a gift after I walked out of my room naked." I was beyond confused, why the hell had he done that? "They tried to give me a sponge bath, I didn't like it. Then today when they wouldn't let me walk out. I walked out naked again, they threw them to me and told me to put them on." I couldn't believe he had gone streaking in a hospital, no I take that back. I could believe it after what he did to Fatima. I had such a hard time sleeping that night, make that the rest of the week. I had been spending every night in bed with him since that first plane ride. Nothing had happened in fact we always fell to sleep with our clothes on. To night I planned on sleeping in my boxers. I stripped down and got in bed beside him, he frowned. "What did I move the bed to much?" I was really worried, he could be hurt so easily. "No, you didn't take my boxers off, and yours are still on." Those words sent chills up my spine, I moved to his boxers down his legs. Then I took mine off and laid down beside him.
**********Chris
I knew that I couldn't do all that much for the first two weeks. But I could hold him in my arms and fall to sleep skin to skin. I pulled him into my arms and held him tightly, my body pressed against his. I placed kisses on his neck, my body didn't want to follow orders. I wanted to feel him, every part of him. I let my left hand flow down his body slowly. He let a soft moan out as I took hold of his member, jerking it slightly. He turned toward me slowly, his lips meeting mine. I then pulled my hand away from his member and moved it to his back. I pulled him to my body holding want him closer still, I wanted to become one. I wanted to be where you couldn't tell where one started and the other finished. I wanted everything he was and could be, and I wanted him to know me the same way. His hands were roaming my body, carefully avoiding my wounds. His hand gripped my left butt cheek and squeezed gently. I moved down his body slowly leaving kisses all the way. I licked the tip of his head and then took more into my mouth. His whole body ached and his moan drove me wild. "I want you in me Chris, so badly please I need you." I didn't need much more than those simple words. "Turn over" he did so without question.
I parted his cheeks and looked at his bud. I started rimming him, it was like I had done it before. I know that I hadn't but I guess that maybe Jessie had and it had been passed on to me. Brian was moaning loudly and thrashing around on the bed. I inserted a finger to loosen him up a bit. I didn't want to hurt him in anyway, I couldn't bear that thought. I kept working on his slowly adding more fingers. "Turn back over please." He did so slowly, he looked out of breath. I pulled his legs up and looked into his eyes and I placed the tip of my head on his entrance. I pushed in gently, then stopping so he could get use to it. Every few seconds he would nod for me to push a little more. Once I was all the way I leaned down and kissed him. I slowly started thrust into him, he was so tight. It was like we were merging, it was everything I could have ever hoped for. "Your so amazing Bri, oh God your so tight." I pulled him up with my good arm and held him against my body as I rocked my hips. His moans only made me hotter than I was before. I took everything slow, I wanted this night to last forever. I knew that wasn't going to happen my body was screaming for release. I wanted more, I didn't just want myself inside of him. I wanted him inside of me, and I would do anything to make that happen. I knew that I was getting close as was Brian.
I slowly stopped and kissed him deeply, he was my everything. "Time to trade places" his eyes got wide for a second then he nodded. I knew that there would be pain, but I could handle anything for him. I slipped out of him causing both shiver slightly, I no longer felt complete. I laid down on my back facing him, I felt his hands moving down my body. His tongue was flowing around my bud like magic, it was amazing. I felt one of his fingers enter and it set me into bliss. I knew that taking Brian was going to be a little hard to cope with. He was bigger then I was, and a little thicker. I knew he wouldn't hurt me in any way, but no matter what there would be pain. He continued to work on me, I was ready now, I had to be. "I'm ready Bri" He nodded as I turned over to face him. "Are you sure your body can handle this?" I smiled and nodded, if it couldn't then I would deal with it. He started very slowly, there was this intense pain. He stopped for a second started to pull out. "No, I can take this, I want it Brian." He nodded slowly and pushed forward again. I tried relaxing as much as I could, I kept taking deep breaths. He stopped for a while and let me get use to it. I nodded and he continued to push in, I closed my eyes. The pain was starting to ease a little, then he pushed a little more. I felt his balls resting on my butt cheeks.
I pulled him down and kissed him, I held him there for a short while. He started thrusting slowly, there wasn't much pain. He must have his my prostate perfectly, cause now there wasn't any pain. I couldn't keep the moans whispering past my lips. Then as Brian started to move faster, the moans got louder. It was like something was taking over my body. "Faster Brian, harder, yes that's it, oh yes faster." I wanted more, I started ramming my hips into him perfectly timed with his. He was moaning as loudly as I was by now. I could feel myself getting closer with every second that passed. I was entering a state of bliss and insanity. I craved so much and needed everything he could give me. I couldn't see straight any longer and everything else seemed to fade away. All I could see was Brian, he was all that mattered to me. Then it was like my world blew up into a million peace's. I knew that I cumming, it was hitting my chest and his. He let out a loud scream as he filled me with his seed. He almost fell on top of me but caught himself. I pulled him to my lips and held him there, our body were coming close together. I kept my legs wrapped around his waist, I wanted him to stay in me forever. I felt whole and complete. I rolled to my side so I could hold him better without ripping a stitch.
I held him in my arms all night as I drifted off into a wonderful sleep. The next morning I woke up before him, I could still feel him inside me. I knew that he was hard again so I decided I would wake him slowly. I pushed him onto his back slowly, his eyes fluttered open. I started to rock my hips back and forth while I sat on top of him. He was moaning his eyes locked on mine. He grabbed my member and started jerking gently. He smiled at me sweetly, then we kissed. "Time to trade places Chris." I smiled and slid off of him slowly. I moved down his body and started rimming him again, I started to loosen him when he stopped me. "I want you in me now, I need it." I nodded and sat back up getting ready to enter him. I slowly pushed in letting his get use to it for a few seconds. Then I started to thrust in and out slowly picking up my pace. He was so tight and it felt so wonderful. "Harder Chris give me everything you've got." I started pounding into him like it was my last day alive. "yes, CHRIS YES!" His screams drove me wild, it took me to another level. I jerked him off while I pounded into him, when he blew his load I blew mine. I kissed him and slowly got out of bed to take a shower. "Want to join me I'm sure we could make it interesting." I smiled as I walked in and turned the water on.
A few hours later I found out that we were late for a meeting. "Where have you two been?" We looked at each other and then he took my hand in his. "We were a little busy, we both needed a good shower." Jessie started cracking up like a maniac, I just looked at him. "I found out last night that our bound that we had, well it's back." I turned three shades of red and almost passed out. "How many times was it again?" I didn't try to shut him up, it wouldn't have done any good. "Oh yeah, I believe I counted seven, but it could have been eight." I looked at Brian and smiled, it had been ten times. Kevin looked a little down but I couldn't blame him. It had taken me a little time to understand that he was after me. After I got to know him a little better I saw two different people. I saw one that he used with everyone else. Then there was the person he pretended to be in front on me. "We got a call from Jive about an hour ago. They said that you had called them and told them to set you up with a girl?" I nodded and looked back to Brian, he hadn't liked the idea. "It'll keeps us all safe, and it makes sure that Brian is safe." Jessie looked at me and shook his head slowly. "I was willing to do that Chris, so you wouldn't have to." I smiled at him, he just didn't get it yet, but he would.
He was trying to be thoughtful, but I had made my choice. "That's true Jess, but the simple truth is, I love him. I want to make sure that's he safe and that we are safe. I know that your willing to take that fall. I was ready to let you and not hide who I am, but things changed. I didn't think I would fall in love, doesn't mean you can't go out and get a girl to. That's up to you, but now you don't have to, it's covered." He raised an eye brow and stood up and walked over to me. "I think I'll do the same as you, no reason letting you have all the fun being the saint." He went to hit my shoulder and stopped, his eyes grew dark. He hadn't hit me but he had come close still no harm. I decided it was time I took a look at the damage. I hadn't had the guts to look yet, it did scare me a little. I pulled away from everyone and walked into Kevin's bathroom. I took my shirt off slowly and then started to remove the bandages. I still hadn't looked in the mirror while I had taken them off. They weren't so bad, but still it changed everything. I was no longer just like Jessie, we could be told apart now. Our tattoo's had been the only way up until now, now I had real scars. I traced the scars one by one wishing I could see the one on my back. I found myself looking at the one in the center of my chest. I didn't know how it had missed my heart.
The stitches were still there, but I knew the end result. I would have little red lines that would fade. Then little white lines that would always be seen dew to my tan. I moved my bad shoulder around a little. It didn't really hurt all that much it wasn't something I couldn't deal with. The scar on my shoulder was the worst since it was ripped down and then out. The other two that I could see looked like clean cuts, but this one was different. I guess I had been looking at myself for a while, someone was knocking on the door. I opened the door and looked back at my scars, someone placed their hand on my shoulder. I turned to see Brian standing beside me, his eyes spoke more then his lips. I traced the scar over my heart and then traced his above his shirt. He had a small smile that was laced with sadness. "How bad is the one on my back?" His eyes didn't tell me anything as he looked. "Not that bad, it didn't touch your tattoo." I nodded and wondered if he was trying to spare my feelings. I pulled my shirt back over my head and slid it down slowly. I took a deep breath and smiled at Brian, his eyes looked hopeful. Time would pass and heal all wounds, but the scars would always remain.
It had been two weeks since I had the stitches removed. I had done over thirty interviews, most stayed away from certain questions. I had gotten in contact with my aunt in Florida, I threatened her. I had to, it was the only way she would keep her mouth shut. I was hanging out with a girl by the name of Eve, she was really nice. She was getting paid a lot to pretend to be my girlfriend. That no longer mattered, since I had died and returned to the living. Our single shot threw the roofs in sales, and Jive was planning a tour for just Jessie and I. I told them that I would stay with the BSB for the rest of their tour. I wasn't leaving Brian before I had to and as far as the world knew it was because of a contract. I wasn't about to tell them other wise, but I knew the time would come. Brian and I had already planned everything out. We would talk every night, write letters and find a way to see one another. I found it funny that we hadn't even really spent any of our money. I hadn't been shopping in months, I didn't feel like it anymore. We had use a good amount of our own off time when I had gotten hurt. I felt guilty that I had cost the guys so much. Brian kept telling me that no matter what they wouldn't have left my side. I knew that was true for him it always would be I hoped.
Time was passing so quickly, the guys had three week's off. Brian had invited me to join him in Kentucky. I wanted to but Jive had other ideas while we weren't running around the world. Jessie and I were back in LA recording a video for our single, then a whole CD. I had the songs and Jessie had the music, or so we thought. I wasn't liking the fact that we couldn't use our own songs. So we agreed to a fifty-fifty split with the CD, half ours half theirs. They had told us that at least this way our second CD would be the same way. Brian had called and asked if I wanted him to come and see me. I had told him yes, but then no because I wanted him to have his time off. He needed the rest and peace of mind I couldn't take that from him. So I promised to come and see him at the first sign of a brake. I got that brake a few days later so I was on a plane to Kentucky. I had never been the state, so I was a little worried I had heard some rumors. My friend had told me not to walk up to any doors, that I might get shot. I knew that couldn't be true other wise Brian would have warned me. I was going to surprise Brian so I hadn't told him that I was coming.
I had gotten his address from Jive, and asked them not to tell him I was coming. I got off the plane at three in the morning so I went to a hotel. I wasn't in Lexington, I was in a city that was near by. It looked like a nice city but it was really cold. I think it was called Louisville, but I'm not for sure. I stayed at a nice hotel that night, it was right beside the river. When I woke up the next morning I called a cab and gave him the address. He looked a little surprised that I was going so far. "Are you sure you can pay for this buddy?" I smiled and nodded slowly which only seemed to piss him off. I shrugged it off and watched the city fly by. Then we left the city so I sit back and relaxed for a while. The driver was checking a map while we drove, I would have said something if I had known. All I knew was that the car was flipping in the air, then something else hit us. I had hit my forehead on something hard. Then all was darkness, I woke up in a hospital bed. I didn't know where I was or who I was any longer. All I knew was that I was in pain so I started yelling for help. A woman walked into the room, she was dressed in all white. "Mr. Darken, it's good that your awake, I'll go get the doctor." I nodded and looked around a little, who was she talking to?
I guess it had to be me since I was the only one in the room. "Hello, we're happy to see that you didn't enter a coma." I was still a little confused, what the hell was going on? "Ok I don't mean to be rude, but why the hell am I here. And who the hell is Mr. Darken?" The doctors face never changed, he only nodded and left the room quickly. I was getting tired of this shit so I got out of the bed. I took the needles out of my arm and walked around. My forehead was killing me it was like someone had hit me with a hammer. The doctor walked back in with a man with that was the same height as I was. I know that I had seen him somewhere before. "Mr. Darken this is your brother, his name is Jessie." I looked at him he went to move toward me. I backed away quickly, I wasn't sure I liked him all that much. He looked hurt, but I didn't really care, I didn't know him. "So is he my older brother, or my younger brother?" The doctor picked up a mirror and handed it to me. I was a little shocked he looked just like me, only I was cuter. "Does anyone have some clothes I can put on?" The doctor nodded and left me alone with my brother. "What you act like you've never seen a man in a gown before." More pain filled his eyes he was such a big baby.
I dropped the gown when the doctor handed me my clothes. I put the clothes on and sat back down on my bed. "So when the hell do I get out of this death trap?" The doctor never changed he just left me alone with Jessie again. "Do you remember anything about me?" I shook my head, why did it mean so much to him. "Do you remember anything about Brian, or singing?" I shook my head again, he was starting to get on my nerves. "So your my brother, do I have a really hot girl friend?" His eyes seemed to jump out of his head. "I don't know how to answer that that Chris, I just don't." I rolled my eyes he couldn't be my brother he didn't have a back bone. Why did I have to be born with a wimp for a brother? Another man walked in he was a little shorter and his eyes were so blue. I don't know why but it made my heart do flips just looking at him. I pulled my eyes away from him, why did I feel this way toward him. "Chris...do you remember me?" I looked at him and shook my head, his eyes started to water. I wanted to wipe the tears from his eyes, but I stopped myself. "No need for tears dude, it's not all that important I'm sure." That seemed to hurt him more than my just shaking my head. I just let it slide when he ran out of the room. Something told me to chase him but I didn't, he might think I like him.
I was sitting in a nice little house that Brian owed. He had given me his guest bed room. He was a really nice guy, I kind of felt sorry for him. He would always look at me, and every time he would start to tear up again. "Yo, Bri want to hit the hoops, I'd like to see how good you are." He smiled and ran out of the room, hopefully to get a ball. So we played the game, he always kicked my ass. I also noticed that I liked his body pressed against mine while playing. At night I had dreams of a different life, one that didn't look happy. I was regaining my old life every night that I slept, I was starting to remember. I now knew that I was gay, that was easy enough to accept. The next morning I sat in the kitchen looking at Brian. "Where's Jake?" Brian's head jerked up his eyes were wide. "I don't know if I should answer that, the doctor said you should be left to remember yourself." I nodded it was a sound answer, but I didn't like not knowing. "I know that I love him, and he loves me. I just want to now where he is, I want to go see him." Brian was taking deep breaths and started to move away. I grabbed his arm and held him still, he looked scared. "Chris, Jake died a while back, but your don't remember that yet." I bit my lip, why did I have to lose everyone I loved.
I found myself looking at CD that I had helped write and make. I wanted to listen to it, but I couldn't bring myself to do so. I had dreams the night before, it had really woken me up. I didn't have all of the peace's yet, but I would soon. Then again my heart ached for Jake, he was my everything. I remembered the lyrics to a song we had shared, I wanted to sleep to. I wanted to join him in his place of peace, where I wouldn't hurt any more. I walked into the bathroom and removed my shirt, how had I gotten those scars? I had asked myself the same question a dozen times. Then it was like flashes of light hitting me one after another. There were three flashes of light and each one brought pain with it. Then the flash of light became a knife which I plunged into the attackers gut. Then I was facing myself, no it was Jessie his eyes were filled with horror. I felt a pain in my back then I turned again to see my new attacker. I lashed out sending the bone in his nose to his brain. I could now see Brian standing beside a hospital bed talking to someone. I didn't understand how I could have gotten above him, when I turned I saw Jake. I then turned back and faced Brian once again he was saying something to me. He was saying that he loved me, that he was sorry he hadn't said it sooner.
Then I saw myself standing in front of me, I knew it was myself. He had the same scars and his eyes were so lost. "Your hurting him, and I won't let that happen anymore. So get ready I'm coming back with a vengeance." I laughed at him, he couldn't force me out I was him. "You just want to forget our past, and I won't let you do that." I noticed that I was in pure darkness, the bathroom no longer existed. "I don't want to forget I just want to move on." He was a lying bastard, but that made me a liar to. "No, you want to forget Jake, how could you do that?" His eyes seemed to flicker brightly in some unseen light. "I don't want to forget Jake, he was everything to me when he was alive. Even after he died he meant more than life to me. So don't you tell me that I want to forget Jake. I want remember him and move on with Brian, I love him and he loves me." I didn't know if he was telling the truth, could I trust myself? "How do you know he loves you?" The question seemed to shock him. "Look at where we are, in his home, has he even said anything about you being his boyfriend?" I shook my head, it was a good point but in my favor not his. "That's because he loves us so much he doesn't want to risk our health. How do you think it makes him feel every time you bring up Jake?" I was starting to hate myself, or him.
********Brian
I had found Chris laying on the bathroom floor. His eyes were rolled back in his head and he was shaking. I called an ambulance, then Jessie and Nick. Nick had said that Jessie was in the hospital, that he had passed out. This was starting to get really creepy really fast. I was in the ambulance heading to the hospital, Nick was already there. Chris's body was shaking really bad his breathing was uneven. They had strapped him to the bed, but still he tried to brake free. Then he stopped, it was like he just entered a peaceful sleep. His heart was still beating, he was still breathing but no one was home. I was now standing in the waiting room with Nick, he looked really worried. "I don't understand it just a few minutes ago he started shaking real bad. Then he just stopped and his eyes opened, but they were empty." I was starting to understand their little mind link. I had done a little research on twins after I had started dating Chris. There had been once case where a set of twins died at the same time. One had been in a really bad car accident, nothing had happened to the other one. But at the same moment of death they both died. They were over six hundred miles apart when this happened. I just prayed it didn't happen to Chris and Jessie. It would kill both Nick and myself, we just loved them that much.