Full Moon

I write because I enjoy creating people and stories, and because I enjoy hearing from readers. If you have any comments or would just like to say hey, please feel free to E-mail me at bradmikedan@hotmail.com or tweet at me on http://www.twitter.com/bradmikedan/, where I'll be posting regular updates on what I'm doing with each of my stories. Or leave a comment on my blog at http://bmdsupine.blogspot.com/. I promise I won't bite.

Thanks to all the people who've written to me already with your encouragement or just to say you read the story and liked it! I really appreciate it, and take the time to reply to each and every single one of you. Thanks especially to my proof reader, the kindest and most loving man I have never met, and to those of you who gave me a kick up the arse to finish the story quicker!

[Disclaimer: The Twilight Saga, New Moon, Eclipse and all of the characters in this story remain the authorial property of Stephenie Meyer. This is simply a work of fan fiction. The Quileutes are also a real- life tribe of Native Americans, and I do not profess to know anything about their legends or traditions. The Quileute characters in this story are inspired by Stephenie Meyer's representations, and do not in any way represent any people, living or dead.]

This third installment begins from Chapter 25 of Eclipse, from Jacob and Seth's points of view, and continues into the first 4 chapters of Breaking Dawn.

=============================================== Full Moon 3. Like I wrestled with a gas tanker and lost. ===============================================

"Sam - help him..." Edward gasped.

The force of the impact rippled through the pack like a shockwave, knocking most of us to the ground where we stood. I straightened up back onto all fours as best I could. The pain! It was so real - as though it were actually happening to me. It tore through the entire right side of my body, the feeling of each broken rib. I howled in agony. How could he have survived such damage? But this wasn't my pain, I reminded myself. It was Jake's pain. Out there, where the fight was, he was suffering. And I was here at the campsite, wasting precious seconds.

"Seth!" Edward shouted.

I paused, mid-spring. The sickening ache in my side hadn't diminished, and I was sure Edward could feel it too, through the pack.

<I have to get to him!>

"No!" he ordered. "You go STRAIGHT HOME. Now. As fast as you can!"

I shook my head, whimpering.

<You don't understand. He needs me!>

"Seth. Trust me."

I stared Edward in the eye for one long second. Long enough to show him everything Jake meant to me, the bond we shared. What it meant to me now to leave the man I loved out here in the forest, not knowing if he would live or die. Long enough to show Edward what I would do to him if Jake didn't make it home to me in one piece. He'd just seen me do it to Riley. God help him if he thought I was beyond doing the same to him.

They dragged Jake into La Push still in wolf form, howling his head off and looking like a complete blood-soaked mess. Emily had to hold me back as they brought his crumpled body past me. The whole world felt like it was in slow-motion, distorted and unreal. My screams and tears faded in with Jake's howls and blood, shaking the windows of the houses around us. Sam gripped my jaw roughly and barked something at me, shaking a finger in my face. I didn't hear a word of it.

They finally got him to phase back to human, before Billy, Charlie, and then Dr. Cullen arrived. So much commotion. So many people. So much noise. Jake's relentless cursing above it all. Emily dragged me aside from the table where they'd laid him out, so the doctor could work. It felt like she was tearing a nail from my finger. I watched the people surround him, people who didn't even know the pain he was in. I kept wishing they'd give him some room, some air.

Then he was out cold. The thrashing, the yelling stopped. There was an uneasy silence in the house. Was he dead? No. Dr. Cullen handed the large needle he'd just pulled out of Jake to Sam, and then picked up a thick roll of bandages. Started dressing Jake's wounds. The tense silence continued, five big boys breathing heavy in the little room, the rusty smell of blood hanging in the air.

"Argh! God... fucking... dammit!" Jake was suddenly awake and flailing again. "Mother... fucker!"

Carlisle reached over to the pan of instruments he'd prepared and swiftly retrieved another syringe. In a blink it was in Jake's side, and within two breaths, he was out again.

"He's going to need a lot more morphine. He's burning it off too fast," said the doctor, calmly. I cringed as they stuck needle after needle into him, emptying whole bottles of the clear liquid. On the other side of the room, Sam was saying something to Charlie about a motorcycle accident.

Emily grasped my shoulders, and took me outside, where the sudden brightness made everything shimmer like a dream. He'd recover. I knew he would. We werewolves could take a lot of damage. But as I tore my stinging eyes away from Jake's limp, battered body, I started to think about what it would be like if the damage had been more permanent. If he couldn't walk for the rest of his life, or if he'd lost an arm or a leg. I knew I'd still love him. And so I made sure I'd tell him, when he woke up.

JACOB BLACK

Have you ever been down a water slide? Falling out of one world, sliding, careening completely out of control through the darkness, only to be spat out into brightness on the other side, dazed, disorientated, in an unfamiliar place?

That's how I felt now.

Had I dreamt that whole thing? One minute I was looking at myself splayed out across my kitchen table. The next, I was here.

Wait, where was I?

Ugh.

How long had I been out?

Everything felt wrong. The place where I was lying, the smells in the air. The bandages wrapped around my body. I picked at them, lifting the edge of one up slowly to inspect the damage underneath. Nothing. Not so much as a scratch under all that bloodstained cloth. You had to hand it to us wolves. There wasn't anything we couldn't take. A few broken ribs? Please. Next time, try taking off an arm. We'd probably grow it back.

Speaking of ripping off arms... the memories trickled back to the front of my throbbing brain. Back at the fight, I'd been watching Seth tear Riley apart. I was so worried about Seth, leaving him up there in the campsite, obviously where Victoria would attack, that I wasn't concentrating. How did I not see that coming? Instead of being up there, where I was needed, protecting Seth, protecting Bella, I was in the clearing fighting useless newborns. They weren't even worth my time. So I took them down, one after the other, way too easily, while using the pack's mental connection to keep an eye on Seth and what was going on up at the campsite.

I needn't have worried - the kid was good. With a little help from Edward, he tore Riley limb-from-limb with next to no effort at all. He'd been amazing to watch. As Edward finished off Victoria, I knew everything was going to turn out fine. Seth and Bella were safe.

That's when I let my guard down. I'd forgotten where I was, and by the time I'd shook myself back into the present, the newborn was already lunging for Leah. I reacted way too late. My mass was off-centre, my hind leg at a bad angle. But I could see that Leah had no idea it was coming for her. So I leapt anyway. I smashed into the stinking vamp and took it down under me, hoping to knock it flat with my flank. But damn, it was strong! It took my weight and threw me against a massive tree in one swift move. The world blacked out, and echoing through my head was the sickening crunch of ribs.

It made sense now, that dream I had, of watching through Seth's eyes as he ran back from the campsite in the mountains towards La Push. Watching myself being carried back to my house. Phasing. Screaming. It'd felt like an out-of-body experience at the time. So real, and yet so disconnected from everything I was used to feeling. But I understood what had happened now. I had been watching Seth when I blacked out. My thoughts had been so connected with his that when I was knocked out, my own unconscious mind latched on to his, living through his mind and his thoughts. Clinging on to life. He'd saved me, kept my mind from slipping under.

"You're up," Seth's voice wafted from the end of the bed.

I slowly tilted my head to look at him. His eyes were red, his face flushed.

"Hey, you," I smiled back weakly.

"How're you feeling?"

"Like I wrestled with a gas tanker and lost."

A look of concern lined his face.

"Oh, please. It's going to take a lot more than a newborn bloodsucker to take me down. Give me some credit."

He dropped his eyes, relieved.

"I'm just glad you're okay," he said in a hushed voice, the tears pulling again at the lump in his throat.

"But if I wasn't... you'd still love me, right?"

That startled him. "You heard that?"

"I heard everything, Seth. I saw everything," I smiled as best I could, but every part of me was so numb. I could hardly get the muscles in my fingers moving to take his hand. He took it for me, pressing my hand between both of his.

"You were so brave," I beamed, "I'm so proud of you... Seth Clearwater: Vampire Slayer."

The bulky form of another one of my brothers filled the doorway. Embry. He turned his face respectfully away from Seth and my shared moment, but sidled over to the bed anyway, his eyes trained to the ground.

"Sorry, little bro. Visiting hours are over. We've got other company coming," he said in his gruff, no-shit tone.

I raised my eyebrows, but not before I caught the rumbling of the truck coming down the dirt road. Bella was here.

Seth obediently got up to leave, and in his wake Embry leant down and brushed his lips across mine, the tips of our noses touching. They say scent evokes the strongest reaction of any of the senses. No surprises then, that as I inhaled Embry's, I was taken back to a place where there was no pain, and everything was alright, no matter what happened. He whispered something in Quileute, something sweet and evanescent that my brain was still too stoned with morphine to catch. A grin flashed in his eyes. Then he was up and ushering Seth out the door, pausing a moment to grab a quilt off the floor and throw it over my bandaged and mostly-naked body.

Bella came and went. I was way too groggy to remember any of it, although I'm pretty sure she was talking about something important. Words came out of my mouth. I didn't think I could be held responsible for anything I said while under that much pain medication. It was only when she turned to leave that the finality of that moment hit me. If she was going to be changed soon... I might never see her again. The thought made me sad in a kind of bittersweet way. Sad because I was losing a friend, but at the same time, happy for her... that she was getting what she always wanted. That was enough for me. And not two seconds after the front door closed, I was reminded of why it finally felt so easy to let go. Seth appeared back in the doorway.

Since he'd gotten used to his werewolf abilities, he'd become so fast, and so completely silent. He was different to the rest of us in the way he moved. He was just as strong as us, but also much lighter, such that he almost seemed to float with a kind of carefree ease. His footsteps hardly made a sound when he walked or ran. His movements, lightning-swift and graceful, were like those of a gymnast. And he was agile like none of us were - even giving the Cullens a run for their money when we trained together a few nights ago. He sat down next to me on the bed, our roles reversed, him seeming like the bigger boy now, the hero; while I lay damaged and barely conscious. With a gentle hand, he stroked my cheek.

"I can't stay... I'm running the next shift."

I nearly laughed. Talk about role reversal. Where'd I heard that before?

"Sure, sure," I wheezed out, "Come here as soon as you get back?"

He nodded, smiling at me with weary, grateful eyes. It'd been a long day for both of us. Before he stood up, he put two fingers of his right hand to his lips, and then pressed them against mine. My old way of kissing him goodbye in the middle of the night, when I left to go running after he'd fallen asleep. I didn't think he was ever awake to feel them. It warmed me up inside, knowing that he'd been there all along, and I let myself drift off into another morphine-induced sleep.

Dr. Cullen came by early the next morning to check on me - way too early. The morphine had mostly worn off by then, but that didn't mean I didn't want my sleep-in. He ended up putting a fucking cast on my right leg, and my right arm in a sling. Props, basically, to keep me in line with the story Sam and Billy had fed to Charlie. Allegedly, I was in a motorcycle accident that took out the whole right side of my body when I hit the ground. The good doctor was going to plaster up my torso as well, but I told him to shove it... in the politest way possible. We ended up settling on a roll of thick bandages that I could at least take off when I didn't have to look the part of town gimp. So I was left sitting in my living room, severely unimpressed, in the company of my new friends: leg cast, sling and crutches.

A knock on the door snapped me out of my mini-coma. I started struggling to my feet, but then realized who it probably was.

"Hey Seth, door's unlocked! Come in," I called out, plonking myself back down on the couch.

After running all night, he looked completely zoned out as he dragged himself into the room, yawning widely, his arms hanging limply by his side. That was until he saw the cast.

"Oh my God, Jake!" he rushed over, "what happened? I thought you were getting better?"

I hushed him; he was practically yelling, and my morphine-affected head wasn't ready to deal with loud noises. "I'm fine. See? Look!" I waved my plastered leg around with no problem at all, "just some props to keep me looking the part of Motorcycle Cautionary Tale Number 1064."

Seth knelt down on the floor next to me and ran his hands over the smooth white plaster. His concerned expression melted away, replaced with his cheeky grin.

"Can I sign it?"

"Uh... sure?" I replied. I didn't think I'd be keeping this thing long enough to warrant signing. But I guess if it helped with the illusion, why not?

Seth returned with a red marker from the box of junk on the kitchen counter, and started writing his message. 'When I said "break a leg", I didn't actually mean it. Love...'

"Wait!" I interrupted.

He glanced up, still grinning at his own wit.

"I... don't think you should sign your name."

His face fell. Dammit, I didn't mean it to sound like that.

"It's just that... Charlie might see it."

"Charlie?" he repeated, confused, "Why do you care if..." his eyes grew wide. Ah, crap. There was no use trying to lie to him. "This isn't about him. This is about Bella, isn't it? Haven't you told her yet?"

"Seth, I haven't had time! Your initiation, then the whole 'we're getting attacked by Victoria and her brood of ravenous newborns' thing..."

"I thought you said you were gonna tell her!"

"I wanted to, I really, really wanted to. But when we were sitting up there, in that tent in the mountains; she was talking about marrying that leech... It wasn't really the time or the place."

"What do you mean? That was the perfect time!" he was edging on yelling; I'd forgotten how easily angered he could be, now that he was a werewolf. It scared me sometimes. "You could've told her to be happy and go live her life with who she wants to, because that's what you're going to do with me! Isn't it, Jake?"

I didn't even need to think about the answer.

"Of course it is. But it's not that easy telling her..."

Seth sighed. I could see that he was still upset, but he knew that there was no point pursuing this further right then. He slouched over with weariness, and shook the feelings of rage from his head. I curled my good arm around his shoulders and across his chest, and hoisted him up onto the couch with me, nuzzling my nose into his hair as I kissed him on the temple.

"I'm sorry," I said, "I'm going to tell her, I promise... it's just... I don't know. When I'm with you, it's so easy, like I don't even have to try. With her, I'm pretending to be so many things that it just gets so confusing. It's like she wants me to be this person who I'm not... she's got these high standards of perfection, thanks to those leeches, and I feel like I have to live up to them! I don't even know what to say to her, sometimes."

A quiet moment passed.

"Are you ashamed of me?" he asked softly.

"What?! No! Why would you even... how could you think that?"

"I don't know," he replied, "it's just that all these months, you haven't told her. Why not? I've tried to be good about it Jake, but sometimes I wonder which one of us is more important to you."

I turned his face to mine.

"No one," I said emphatically, "is more important to me than you." I kissed him, letting him know that what I'd just said was the absolute truth. I guess I would have to do it. I would have to tell her.

Seth's hand started wandering up the length of the cast, following it to where it disappeared into the leg of my shorts. We were both a bit more relaxed now, after putting that little tiff behind us.

"How far up does it go?" he asked.

"Pretty damn high," I replied, "it's supposed to look like I shattered my hip as well. Which... I guess I did."

Seth helped me up while supporting my weight. Yeah, the little guy had gotten really strong. And not that little. He yanked my shorts off with a bit of effort, tugging one side down, then the other until it'd completely cleared the cast around my foot. His fingers traced where the cast reached the top of my hip bone.

"Guess you won't be wearing underwear anytime soon, huh?"

"Guess not," I chuckled, "you should've seen the look on Doctor Cullen's face when I took my shorts off so he could finish the cast. Guess he didn't really expect us to be massive THERE as well. He couldn't look me straight in the eye after that. I'm glad Billy was gone by then, too. Man! That would've been embarrassing."

Seth looked amused. "So he got a good look?"

"I'll say he did! He had to mold all this into place with his hands," I patted the plaster around my hip, just inches from my bare crotch. "If a vamp could sweat..."

Seth burst out laughing again, and so did I. We were next to wetting ourselves, both picturing Doctor Cullen, a Greek God in his own right, on his knees in front of me shaping plaster around my naked crotch while trying to ignore my oversized teenage meat. I'd been too sleepy at the time to notice, but it was actually hilariously funny.

"And your hand's out of action too?" he poked at the sling.

"Until the sling and bandages come off, yeah," I sighed.

"So no more of this for Jakey?" he grinned, pumping his fist up and down in mid-air.

I snorted, "As if I need that with you around anyway."

"Jake, don't lie to me," he accused, "I've been inside your head."

Okay, I guess he would know that I needed to unload a few more times a day than he was available to help with. Sometimes, while he was out running at night; or when I was in the showers after gym; or even just when I was hanging out with the pack... a guy has his needs. It'd be unfair to ask Seth to look after them all the time.

"I've still got my left hand," I made a show of wriggling my fingers and looking very self-satisfied.

"Well, I think my idea is better," he grinned.

He wrapped his fingers around my cock. Fire immediately ignited my whole body, and he started teasing it, base to tip. The morphine was making my head slow, but even still, it didn't take long for me to be up and hard as ever. As his hand slid up and down my rod, he leaned in, the heat of his skin against my neck as he drew his lips hungrily along my jaw line.

"Shit Jake, you're really horned up," he whispered in my ear.

"Yeah, I know... haven't busted a load in days." I let my head slide back, and closed my eyes as I handed myself completely over to Seth's touch. His hands were warm still from the exertion of running. His fingers lightly trailed the veins of my shaft, the seam along its underside, the ridge around the head. With my eyes closed, I could feel each sweep of his fingertips so clearly, making lines as purposeful as an explorer crossing a wilderness.

I gulped.

"Goddamn, Seth. Please, just do it. Please," I begged.

He started rubbing me, his sizzling palm on my rock-hard meat. When I opened my eyes, I saw that he'd freed his own aching rod from its confines and was now beating us both off. He grinned at me, and I leaned our faces closer, both of us savoring each others' scent, our panting breaths. I couldn't move with the cast and shit, but he could feel my arm around him tensing, the straining in my entire body as I came first, spattering my load all over my T-shirt. A shot had hit me on the chin, and Seth leaned over and lapped it off. Then, with all the speed and agility he embodied, he flipped himself over, more or less one-handed, and was suddenly on his knees, straddling me on the couch.

I slumped back, taking in his tight young muscles, his velvet skin... man, the whole sight of him, naked to the waist, shorts hooked under his balls, jacking off just inches from me. It suddenly occurred to me what he was doing. Of course, in my condition, I wasn't going anywhere fast, and he knew that. His hand quickened and quickened to a blur, and finally with a sharp yell, he shot his messy boy-spunk on my chest. He drooped over me, leaning for support on the back of the couch as he regained his breath. The whole thing had been so hard-and-fast, over in just a couple of minutes. It didn't feel like enough. I wanted more of him.

He wiped his dick on my T-shirt, now completely covered in our combined jizz, and then helped me pull it off, over the sling and my bandaged arm. Even though my arm wasn't actually injured, it was the bulk of that stupid tourniquet that was getting in my way. Now shirtless, exposed before him, I grinned suggestively at him, hoping for more. His brows pulled together, the sly look of a predator about to pounce. A growl built in his throat.

Suddenly, a sharp knock on the door made us both jump.

"Shit!" Seth hissed, "I forgot!"

"What?" I asked, confused. Seth turned into a blur of action. He picked my soiled T-shirt up off the floor and tossed it over the counter into the kitchen. My shorts... well, apparently there was no time to maneuver them back over my cast, because they went as well. Instead, Seth quickly grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and smoothed it over my legs.

A knock again, then a shadow in the window.

"Seth, Jacob! I know you're in there!"

Leah?! I shot a glare at Seth. "What the fuck is she doing here?!"

"It's okay, I thought it was my mom," Seth heaved a sigh of relief.

"What?!" I hissed back.

Leah was banging hard on the door now. "I can hear you! I don't have all day!"

Seth hopped up, hiked his shorts up a bit, and then opened the door for her.

"For the love of God, Seth, put a shirt on," she said as she barreled in past him.

"I thought mom was coming?" he asked.

"She's busy, so she sent me to run her stupid errand for your stupid boyfriend." I could see now that she was carrying two big calico bags full of food, a couple of thermoses, and paper bags filled to the brim with even more things.

She made a line for the kitchen. Seth's eyes grew wide, and he sprung ahead of her, literally bouncing off a wall to get in front. In a swift motion he'd swept my discarded clothing off the kitchen floor, and with the ease of a pro basketball player, flung it through the door of my room.

"What the hell are you on, Seth?" she asked, "what was that?" She shook her head and raised her hands in disgust. "Actually, I don't want to know. Ugh," she faked a dry-retch, and then started unpacking things from the bags. "Now, mom said there are muffins, bread, soup and some other things here so that..."

"Hello? Stupid boyfriend over here?" I called over at them. Leah finally did me the courtesy of looking over. "Ah. Thanks. Hi. Welcome to my house. Feel free to walk in and out at any time," I said sarcastically, "and I'm just fine, thanks for asking."

The Amazon Bitch-Queen didn't show a shred of guilt. "Listen, Jacob: I just dragged my tired, sleep-deprived ass over here with all this crap so that you and Billy don't starve to death. You know, seeing as how you're now both qualifiers for the Paralympics. So don't feel like you have to thank me or anything."

I reached for my crutch, contemplating whether or not I could smack her on the head with it from where I was sitting.

"And now, if we're done here, I'm going home to get a couple hours' sleep so that I can run your shift for you at midday. If you'll excuse me," she huffed out the door, not bothering to close it behind her.

"Fucking get Embry to do it!" I yelled after her. "Bitch."

Seth shut the door for her, and then slunk over, hanging his head.

"What just happened there?" I asked.

"I forgot, mom said she was sending all this stuff over for you and Billy, groceries for a week, and some stuff she's cooked and frozen for you guys to reheat so you can rest properly."

"She knows I'm not actually hurt, right?"

"Yeah, but you're on crutches and stuff, it's hard for you to get around... Sorry she sent Leah instead."

I sighed. "That's okay. We all know Hurricane Leah is a force of nature."

Seth plopped down on the couch next to me, and pulled back the blanket that was over my legs.

"Not in the mood anymore?" he observed.

"Nah, not after that... I'm kind of tired actually."

"Yeah, so am I..."

"My room?"

He yawned, and tried to nod at the same time.

I struggled to my feet. Seth couldn't help giggling a little at how ridiculous I looked. My right leg plastered up to the hip, thick bandages around my torso, and my right arm bandaged and in a sling. All that, while the opposite side of my body was completely unclothed. With his help, I hobbled into my room, finally collapsing onto the bed.

"This is gonna make sex so hard," he whined.

"They'll come off in a few weeks..."

"Weeks?" he groaned.

"We can still do stuff until then. Just nothing as... physical as we're used to," I teased back.

"We'd better."

"And what about all the other guys? They'll take care of you, I'm sure."

"I don't want them, Jake. I want you. With them it's just... sex, you know? It's different with you," he lay down next to me on the bed, curling up against my body. "They don't..." he yawned, and his eyes were already slipping shut, "they don't love me... like... Jake..."

His breathing grew steady as he slid away into a much-needed sleep. I yawned as well, not able to help myself, and just let myself enjoy this moment with him.

Unfortunately, I couldn't stay. There were things that had to be done, and after nearly a full day spent in bed, I was itching to get up and move around. It took me a couple of minutes to get my shorts back on - damned cast. I remembered that I wouldn't be able to phase until I got rid of them, and that just shat me even more. My crutches were still in the living room, so I had to lean against the walls, and then limp from one piece of furniture to the other until I had them. Right. It took nearly ten minutes, but I was finally ready to do what I set out to do.

It was a slow, boring process putting away everything Sue had sent over. I could only lift one thing at a time, put it down before opening the cupboard or the fridge, pick it up, put it in, close the door, then go back for something else. It gave me time to think, but there was only one thing on my mind. That stupid-bloody-fucking-whore: Leah. She had to ruin everything. Not just this morning - everything! She was the only girl in our pack; the only thing destroying our perfect brotherhood. Since she'd joined us, the guys had started to watch what they said, even what they thought. There were things that went through our head constantly that we'd been fine with our brothers knowing, but shit, not a girl!

We didn't even know that a girl could become a werewolf. It made sense, she had all the same genes and all that, but we thought that the ability to transform was carried down the male line. Sam blamed himself, as soon as we found out. He was still going out with her when he started his transformation - Emily came later, after he was already a werewolf. So there was Sam, werewolf and all, getting head from Leah. The same way the rest of us gained our ability to turn into werewolves. But did this mean that everyone's girlfriends would start turning too? No, it was special in her case. She already had the genetic predisposition, and Sam's cum was just needed to set it off.

That's what we all thought for a while, until it occurred to us that it had taken too long. Sam broke up with Leah over a year ago. Was that how long it took in her case? Slowly and painfully, drawn out over that many months? We almost started to feel sorry for her, having to deal with that... until Quil, who'd been silent the whole time, cleared his throat and spoke up.

"Actually, it was me," he'd said.

Six pairs of eyes turned towards him, shocked, confused, unbelieving.

It turned out that before he'd imprinted on Claire, Quil had made a pastime of impressing the ladies with his new werewolf physique. He was a sex addict, no question about that. The number of times he'd step in to take someone else's rap wasn't out of the goodness of his heart... more accurately, his love of having cock rammed deep inside him. No surprises then, that he'd gladly taken a blowjob from Leah after a beach party one night. She didn't seem as repulsive to him, since he hadn't been running with Sam's thoughts tainting his vision for as long as we had. And I guess he was ashamed of himself, because he did a really good job of hiding the memory from us. A while after that, Leah fell sick. And well... the rest was, as they say, history. Thanks Quil. I think we owe you a few more forfeits for that one.

SETH CLEARWATER

Those few weeks were the worst. I tried to be at Jake's house as much as I could, to help him and Billy out; but it wasn't easy when I was running double shifts every day. With Jake out of action, we all had to pull more than our weight to cover him. I volunteered to do the bulk of it. It was easier for me than the others, since I was doing this almost as a personal favor to Jake. I felt useless otherwise, just sitting on my ass not doing anything to help. After we'd taken down Victoria, and were officially bad- vamp free, the guys thought that we'd be getting a break, and have to do a lot less patrolling. That couldn't be further from the truth. Tensions with the Cullens were higher than ever, knowing that they might turn Bella any day. Sam wanted to make our presence felt on the treaty lines. The feeling in the air was electric. We weren't even waiting for a kill. One bite and we were ready to declare war.

Even so, we all thought it would be way easier, doing this with two more wolves, but Leah wasn't much help. And every time I went home, she was there; ready to yell at me for one thing or another. We'd never gotten along in the first place, but it was worse now that she was a werewolf and on edge all the time.

I'd like to say that I was in control of myself, but the truth was that I wasn't going to take Leah's shit, especially not when she took it out on mom or when she brought Jake into the argument. I came close to phasing a few times, but never actually lost control. Wish I could say the same for her. If the rest of us were wolves, she was a wolverine - vicious and quick to anger. Mom thought it was best if we were kept separate. That suited me fine; I took the chance to stay over at Jake's more often.

It helped that Leah and I weren't in the same pack. There had been no initiation for her - none of the boys were the least bit interested. They'd spent months seeing her through Sam's eyes, and more recently through mine, as a sister. When she phased for the first time, the whole pack stood around trying to decide what to do with her. We settled on something that was humiliating enough, yet completely practical: we'd cut her hair off. For someone as vain as Leah, she might as well have been scarred with acid. It did the job. Her fur wasn't ridiculously shaggy like it was before, and she didn't show her face in public for a week. In the end, mom joined her. In a show of solidarity, mom sliced off her own hair one night at the dinner table with a kitchen knife. Leah stopped crying over it after that.

But proper initiation or not, she had been inducted into their pack. Her loyalty was to Sam, and she had no say in that. A kind of irony, really, that she was forced to see into the head of the guy who more or less tore her world apart, to watch as he dreamt about going home to Emily every night. Maybe she deserved it. If only she could learn to let go. But she'd always been stubborn. In any case, I was lucky she couldn't hear my thoughts. None of them could. They could hear me when Jake was there, the link between the two packs, loyal to one, leader to the other. But without him there, I was cut off.

It was weird at first, running alone like that. It felt like the world was completely empty when I couldn't hear them in my head. I knew they were talking, I could see it from the shifting of their eyes, the movement of their heads. But for them to be able to say anything to me, we would both have to phase to human, talk it out, then phase back and keep running again. It was really time consuming, and was all-out annoying after a while. And every time we phased to human to talk, I'd see the hunger building in their faces at the sight of my body. They had spent months wanting me in every way Jake wanted me, sharing his need for me. I can't even say how scary it was, having these big boys close in, panting after me. It was like my initiation all over again.

Embry and Sam always looked out for me, though. Both of them kind of felt like it was kind of their responsibility to make sure I didn't get in any trouble when Jake wasn't around. I mean, it was nice of them, but I didn't think I needed protecting. But knowing they were there for me felt like at least some sort of acceptance into the pack. Way better than being the outcast I was at the start. I guess I'd won them over with my stunt with Riley, and they had to accept me now as a decent fighter. Even Paul had to treat me with some respect.

We were in bed one night, Jake and I. My bed. My way-too-small-for-the two-of-us bed. It'd been a few weeks since Jake got "The Thing", as we nicknamed his cast, and we'd just gotten used to cramming me, him and "it" into his bed... but we didn't think that it would be that much worse in mine. I'd been clinging on to the edge of the mattress for dear life the whole night. The sound of rain on my window was usually great for falling asleep to, but not tonight. It was hot, I was uncomfortable, and I had the weight of Jake's cast crushing my leg.

The rain was exactly the reason why we were here. He and I had been having dinner here with mom when the storm rolled in without warning. Within a few minutes, the roads had been reduced to mud. Thanks to The Thing, walking back to his house in rain this heavy wasn't even an option. And of course phasing was out. So we crashed here. I didn't mind, really. Leah was out running, and it was amazing the difference that made. It actually felt good to be home.

I was on the verge of finally falling away into sleep when there was a sharp banging on the back door. Godammit! Leah probably locked herself out again. I peeled myself off the mattress, pulled on my shorts and went to answer it. The banging hadn't stopped.

"Yeah, yeah, give it a rest, I'm coming," I grumbled. She'd owe me big for this one.

But when I opened the door, it wasn't Leah.

"Sam?"

He looked puffed, from running, I guess. I don't think I'd ever seen him as out of breath as this, though. Usually when we ran as wolves and shifted back, we didn't feel the strain. He must've run here in human form.

"Can I come in?" he asked. A flash of lightning shot though the sky, and lit up his dark eyes for a moment.

"Yeah, sure, come on," I said. I immediately went to grab him a towel without a second thought - something I'd gotten used to when Jake dropped by on rainy nights. As he wiped his face, I noticed the gleam of his teeth in the darkness, the intensity of his stare. I looked away, anywhere else, but couldn't keep my eyes from stopping on his monster meat. It was hard as steel, pressed flat against his tight, heaving abs. My gaze dropped to my feet, but it was too late. He'd already caught me looking.

"Jake's here," I stammered, gesturing to my room.

"Good. I hoped he'd be. I went to his house looking for him, but he wasn't there. So I figured he'd be with you."

"Well, you were right," I laughed awkwardly. He took a step towards me, and I edged back out of instinct, until my heel struck the wall. Dammit! He leaned in, towering over me, the heat wafting off his still-damp skin like summer rain on hot asphalt.

"You know, maybe Jake's not my best option right now..." he breathed.

"Oh, really?" my voice threatened to break, "but... weren't you looking for him?"

"Yeah, but I was looking for a good fuck," that last word growled in the bottom of his throat. "And Jake's... well, Jake's a little hard to deal with at the moment" His placed his large hand on my shoulder, hot and heavy, and I'm sure all he could feel was the frantic thumping of my heart.

"See the thing is... I come home from running... it's late, Emily's already asleep, and I'm boned up like hell, yeah?"

My gaze slipped down to his raging hard-on.

I gulped. "Yeah..."

"So I go looking for my boys. Quil's first off the rank; he's always up for a pounding," he flashed me a wolf-like grin, "but I get to his house, and what's this? He's off babysitting Claire. I'm like, fuck! Next up is Jacob, of course. I don't want to phase, though, 'cos Leah's running, and I'm pretty sure she's not going to make my night any better. So I'm sprinting on two legs, yeah, naked, cock smacking around like a bitch, halfway across town to Jake's place. Bang on his window, but the motherfucker isn't there either! You've got to understand now, I'm horny as hell, pissed off, and wet as a drowned mutt. I think; I'll try one last place, 'cos there's got to be at least someone there, no way would the both of them be gone..."

He trailed off, his grin even wider than before, almost salivating as he bit his lip. "And what do I find there?" He was staring at me with a look of pure hunger that I'd seen before - in Jake's memories, the look he got from Sam in the days before his initiation.

"I can't make you do this, Seth, not like my other boys... I can only give you orders through him," he jerked his head towards the partly-open door of my room, "But I guess that's what makes it so enticing, huh? Having something held out right in front of me that I can't have... and I'm so used to getting everything I want." His hands glided down my arms, "and, thanks to your boyfriend, I've wanted this for a very long time."

It was hard to resist his pull, the gleam in his eyes, the way the rumble in his voice sounded like pure sex. It'd be okay, wouldn't it? Jake told me to have fun with the guys. I knew he did it too, all the time. So, as Sam pushed my shorts to the ground and started lapping at my already stiff cock, I could only hope that Jake wouldn't mind.

We tumbled down the hallway, a mess of limbs as we scuffled towards to the couch in the living room. I'd already kicked my shorts off after tripping over them a couple of times. Sam stubbed his toe on something and started to swear, but I shushed him, stifling a giggle and whispering at the same time that my mom would hear us. He pulled me down onto the couch with him, his lips finding their way up my neck. We tried to be quiet, but we both needed this so bad that I caught myself whimpering into Sam's mouth as his tongue pushed its way into mine.

No bullshit, that was Sam's style, as I came to learn. He flipped us over so that he was straddling me, his big hands and blunt fingernails dragging down my chest, across my stomach, down to the lines at the base of my torso. His touch drove me nuts, the electricity in my groin building as he got closer and closer to my throbbing rod. With one finger, he scooped up a drop of pre-cum from its head, and stuck it in his mouth. The look he gave me then was so hot, so goddamn sexy that I couldn't wait for him to fuck me.

My hunger, my need for him obviously showed, because his face immediately lit up in the dark room. He had his weight on me and my back was grinding up against the wooden armrest, but I didn't care. This was going to be hard and fast. The only thing I wanted was him inside me. He pushed into me, and I yelped in shock. His hand was clamped over my mouth in a flash. He put a finger to his lips, smiling patronizingly back at me as he reminded me to be quiet. Every muscle in his body was taught as he pumped his thick meat into my ass, his strong thighs flexing with each push, his shoulders and arms rippling as he pulled himself back. Our hips kept rocking in that rhythm, with Sam trying as hard as he could to keep his pace, and not race us over the edge too quickly.

I put my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me, wanting his heat, his scent, the feeling of his rock-solid muscles giving everything they could to fucking me harder. Suddenly, I was being whooshed through the air. Sam had lifted me clear off the couch, and was carrying my whole weight, his thick arms straining as he bobbed me up and down on his pole. I crushed our lips together, stifling our moans, interrupting our gasps for breath.

"Fuck, you've grown!" Sam grunted through clenched teeth.

"Too heavy for you, big boy?"

"Hell no!" he scoffed, "I mean YOUR own big boy... damn, Seth!"

I glanced down. Huh. I guess he'd never really taken a good look at me hard.

"Jake takes that?" he asked, genuinely shocked.

"When I ask him nicely," I tried to smirk, but ended up pulling a face as Sam let go of my weight. I tightened my legs around him instinctively, to stop myself from falling. But he had my back, literally; his hands grasped onto my arched body. As the shock of suddenly being dropped wore off, I became very much aware of how deep Sam was inside me. It was like sitting on a fucking fencepost! My butt was resting on his pubes - with all of however-long-he-was skewering me. I was panting, not used to this feeling at all, and so was he. It took us both a few moments to get used to it, but not before he was going full-bore again. He pushed me up against a wall, and my attempts to hush him were stifled again when he locked our lips together. A smart move, because when he started up again like a pile driver, I was glad that I was yelling down his throat instead of waking up the whole house.

My cock wanted attention so bad, but I couldn't let go of the back of Sam's neck; it was all I could do to hold myself up. So I mashed our bodies closer, putting my head on Sam's shoulder. The two of us were now breathing, gasping, grunting into each others' ears. My cock ground up against his abs... and the feeling of his sizzling, sweat-slicked skin rubbing against it threatened to make me cum within seconds. I managed to hold off, pulling away from him when I got too close, grinding my hard-on against him again when I could take it.

Sam's fiery eyes drilled into me nearly as hard as his fuck-stick did. Our overheated bodies were bathed in sweat, running down our faces and into my mouth when I moaned.

"I'm gonna cum in you," he said, "you cool with that?"

"Yeah... Awwwwhhh! Whatever you want, Sam!"

I braced myself, but it was too soon. He fucked me for a while more before the tension began to spread through his muscles. Only then did his grip on my back tighten, and I kissed him deeply as he went off inside me. He was shuddering, convulsing, and he nearly lost his grip on me a few times. I just held on tighter, clinging on to him as he drained the last of his load.

"Fuck, Seth!" he breathed.

Before I could respond, his hands were under me again. I let out an involuntary yelp - still a little lightheaded, and afraid that he was going to drop me. Sam wasn't messing around, though. He knew what he was doing. Carefully, he lifted me up, coaxing me into relaxing my vice-like grip around his neck. I thought that it was over, that now that he'd gotten what he wanted, he'd just get up and go home. How wrong I was.

He stopped when I was about three-quarters off his cock. I looked at him quizzically, but his face betrayed nothing. Instead, he twisted his body, and dipped me down a bit. "What is he doing?" I wondered. Then, all of a sudden, my questions were answered by the feeling that shot through my entire body.

"Augggghhhrrr! Jeezus!" I hissed, trying to stay as quiet as I possibly could while my vision filled with stars.

"You like that?"

"Fuck... you're gonna make me cum, Sam!"

"What? By doing this?" he probed that spot inside me again. I nearly bit my tongue in two.

"Awwhhhrrr... yeahhh... that!"

Sam chuckled, a low sound that reverberated through his wide chest. It made his whole body buzz, right through to his throbbing rod.

"I'm gonna cum!" I yelped.

"Yeah, do it," he said, "shoot it on me..."

Without even touching myself, with just the head of my cock brushing up against his taught abs, I sprayed my load all over Sam. I couldn't stop shaking; not as long as he kept expertly running the end of his long pole into that magic spot, making me cum harder and harder with each nudge. Finally, he set me back down on the couch, pulling out of me as he did, and leaving me feeling suddenly very empty. He was still hard. The mixture of cum and sweat running down his dark skin glistened in the faint light.

"Shit, you cum a lot don't you?" he said with a slight laugh. He disappeared into the hallway for a second, and returned with my shorts, which he was using to mop the mess off his body.

"Mind if I crash on the couch?" he asked, "I'm kind of wiped."

"Um... sure," I stuttered, my wits still not completely about me, "I'll grab you a blanket."

"Don't need one."

"Leah's coming home soon, and mom wakes up early. You're gonna need one." I hopped up onto my feet and went to the cupboard in the hallway. By the time I'd found a blanket that was big enough and come back, Sam was out like a light. I draped the light cloth over him, and smiled to myself. "Not so tough when you're asleep, huh?" I thought. He was actually even kind of cute. You know, the way a sleeping tiger is cute. Until you wake it up.

I'd been awoken by many things in the past couple of months, but I have to say, a girl's scream wasn't the nicest of them.

Especially since this girl sounded more like a banshee.

Oh shit. I darted out into the living room like a lightning bolt.

Sam stood, clutching the blanket to his crotch, facing Leah, who had her face buried in her hands. He saw me, and gave me a little shrug, like 'what was I supposed to do?'

"What is HE doing in this house?" Leah barked.

"Great..." I muttered under my breath. I weaved my way past Leah and started dragging Sam back towards my room.

She must've caught sight of me, because she shrieked again.

"Oh. My. GOD. Does ANYONE know what clothes are around here?" she crossed to the kitchen, keeping her hands near her eyes. "It's like... living on the Discovery Channel!"

"Woman, you discovered this a long time ago!" Sam taunted. I thwacked him in the gut to get that stupid smirk off his face, and shoved him into my room, slamming the door shut behind me. Jake was waking up from all the commotion.

"What the hell's going on out there?" he croaked. "Oh, hey Sam."

"Hey man," Sam said casually, "how's the leg?"

Jake started to reply, but I cut him off.

"Okay, you two stay in here and let me assess the damage." I turned to head back out.

"You... might want to put some clothes on," Sam suggested.

I cussed; then went to the dresser to grab some shorts.

"Not that I'm complaining or anything," Sam carried on, "damn, that is a fine piece of... Jake, you lucky son-of-a-bitch, you take that?"

"Dude, I know, huh? It's like sitting on a redwood..."

I closed the door on them as I stomped out into the hallway. Mom was there now, talking in a hushed voice to Leah.

"...and he has rights in this house, too, young lady! You don't run this place; I do! And when I tell you to treat your brother with respect, you do as I say!"

"Hey, mom..." I butted in, "it's not totally her fault..."

She turned to me, and then shook her head at no-one in particular.

"Apologize to him," she nodded at Leah.

"I'm... sorry. I overreacted."

"Yeah, that's okay," I stared at the ground in front of her, "I should've told Sam to be more discreet. I know you and him don't really..."

"Yes! Okay! Let's not make this any more awkward than it already is," she marched straight to her room and shut the door with a bang.

Mom just eyed me off, suspiciously.

"Doesn't Sam have his own bed, in his own house?"

"He came here to talk to me," I sucked at lying, but I was guessing she'd prefer this to the truth anyway, "and we got tired and fell asleep."

"He came here to talk to you... with no clothes on?"

God. Why couldn't she just let the whole thing drop?

"Yeah," I laughed uncomfortably, "it's a werewolf thing, trust me. It's complicated."

She raised her eyebrows at me for a moment, then gave up and headed into the kitchen instead.

"You left your shorts in here last night as well. I hope werewolves do their own laundry, cos I ain't touching THOSE."

Crap.

Sam was already peeking out the door of my room when I got back.

"Is the coast clear?"

"Affirmative," I sighed, "no evil-harpy sightings reported."

"Good, 'cos I've got to go." He stole past me, tiptoeing towards the back door.

"Oh, and uh..." he said in a voice so low I was hearing it through the vibrations in his chest, "you might want to have a talk to Jacob. He's... yeah... I'll let you figure it out." With a flash of a good-luck thumbs-up, he slipped out the door, letting it close behind him without a sound.

Uh-oh. What's the matter? I took a deep breath, shaking my head a little to clear it.

"Jake?" I asked self-consciously as I stepped back into my room. He'd managed to sit himself up on the edge of my bed, but was still slumped over. "Wanna get some breakfast?"

"Sure, sure," he replied half-heartedly.

I sat down next to him, rubbing his back. "What's wrong?"

"Nah, nothing..." he mumbled. Bullshit. This was typical 'something's- wrong-but-I'm-too-much-of-a-man-to-say-it' Jake. I waited. He'd come round. I gave it another minute. "You and Sam have fun last night?" he finally said. Ah. So that was it.

"Sure," I tried my best to keep the tone in my voice light, "it was... fun... you know... just... something different."

A weary smile pulled on the edge of his lips.

"Jake, it meant nothing. Hey, you were the one who told me..."

"I know!" he sat up, and I could see his eyes for the first time. They were tired, ringed with dark circles. He hadn't slept all night. "I heard everything, Seth..."

Shit. I thought we'd been pretty quiet. If he heard, had mom...? No, wait: werewolf hearing.

"I don't like sharing you with them," he said bluntly.

I opened my mouth in protest, but no sound came out.

"I know I told you to go do what you want with the guys... but... shit, Seth, look what it's doing to me! I... I'm not cut out to deal with this. I don't think I can handle it."

"I'm... sorry?" I tried to apologize. It fell flat on its face. Jake chuckled to himself, shaking his head.

"What's there to be sorry for? You're just... doing what we werewolves do. I'm the one to blame here... I'm too weak." He stared out the window at the dreary morning. "How did you do it Seth? How did you put up with me?"

"Put up with what?"

"You know, me fucking around with the guys."

"I didn't really know about it," I said, "I mean, I knew it was happening, but I didn't know... details. I guess if I did, I would've been upset too."

"Yeah, but you knew it was happening, and you still dealt with it. But just the thought of you... with someone else... man, it's killing me!" he slammed his good hand down hard on the mattress.

"Well, I guess..." I started, not even sure what I wanted to say, "I never really thought I deserved you in the first place. So when you... did stuff... with the guys, I didn't think I was missing anything. I thought I was lucky to get ANY time with you at all."

Jake huffed. "Boy, have you got it wrong."

"Whaddaya mean?"

"Talking 'bout who deserves who?" he raised his eyebrows at me, "look at us! All you've ever been to me is trusting, caring... the perfect guy. And you do one thing, ONE THING which I even gave you permission to do... and I turn into a jealous mess!"

"It's okay Jake" I reassured him, "I won't do it anymore if you don't want me to. Seriously, it wasn't even that good anyway. I'd way prefer to be with you."

Jake laughed a little. "There you go again. I tell you I need to change, get over myself, learn to accept all this, and you go and give me an easy way out. Man, clearly it's me who doesn't deserve you."

We were quiet for a while. In the kitchen, mom was making breakfast. The distant clanging filled the silence.

"I think what's shitting me most is that I can't phase," Jake sighed. "I've got all these pent-up feelings inside me, and I can't even go run it off. This sucks."

"It'll be okay in a couple of weeks," I offered, "when you can phase again."

"Yeah, I guess I'll just have to be more Zen for the time being, huh?" he said. "Look, um... I think I need some time alone. Are you running today?"

I nodded.

"'Kay... I'll call you later then." He got up, grabbed his crutches and started hobbling towards the door.

"Don't you want something to eat?" I asked as I opened it for him.

"Nah, not hungry," the faintest smile shimmered across his tired face. "Love you," he said, then kissed me quickly on the lips.

"What are YOU still doing here?" Leah's grating voice rang out from the front of the house, even before Jake was two feet out of my room.

"Piss off, I was just on my way out," he retorted.

"Now, Jacob, don't you listen to her. You're welcome to stay as long as you want," mom said calmly.

"Thanks, Sue, but I should be getting back to Billy and all that..." Jake's replied, his voice trailing off unconvincingly.

"Don't forget Bella!" Leah jeered. "Bet she misses you."

I glared at Leah from across the room. Her face was stone-cold.

Jake turned back over his shoulder. "You don't even know what you're talking about."

"'Course I do. It's 'cos of you that I'm stuck with these sickening dreams of that leech-lover! Get over her already!" Leah's expression was twisting into a snarl. I couldn't believe it, but she was actually enjoying causing him pain.

Jake scoffed at her. "You're so full of shit, Leah. I'm nothing BUT over her."

"Yeah right, and I'm Poca-fucking-hontas!"

"Language!" mom scolded.

"You're still so whipped by her. Huh? That's probably why you still haven't told her that you're doing my brother!"

"Leah, that's enough!" mom yelled again.

"You're sick. Twisted, and bitter, and sick," Jake growled, "and someday you're going to get yours. Oh wait a minute, you already have. I pity you." He scoffed at her. "Sue? Seth? It's been nice," he gave each of us a quick nod, then left.

"Coward!" Leah yelled out after him.

There was a moment of complete, awkward silence. Then mom simply put down her mug, wiped her hands on a dishcloth, and went to her room. And I went to mine - our only escape from Leah in this tiny house.

The knock on my door came much later, at nearly midday. The only other sounds had been footsteps on the creaky floorboards, punctuated by Leah noisily putting things back in the cupboards with a heavy hand. That had all stopped about half an hour ago, and I thought she might have left the house, and it'd be safe to go outside again.

"Seth!"

I could tell she was trying to be genial, but her tone still came across as harsh.

"Wharrrtt?" I mumbled into my pillow.

"I came to say... sorry." Wow. She actually got the words out without bursting into flames. This deserved the Nobel Peace Prize - or at least for me to open the door. Neither was going to happen.

"Don't apologize to me," I said, staring off into a corner of the ceiling, "apologize to Jake."

I could just see her seething at the thought.

"Hey, you owe him one. Don't bring up Bella with him, though - it's a touchy subject."

"How do you put up with that?" she baulked.

"It's called trust. You should try it sometime."

"Yeah, I did that, once. I thought I could trust him, but then he changed his mind. Going by last night, though, he's a bit more into you now than he ever was into me."

Good thing she couldn't see me, because I went bright red. Shit...

"Look, just tell me where to find Jake so I can get this over with," she whined.

"He said he wanted to be alone. Probably means he's up on the cliffs, near the diving spot."

Leah didn't respond, waiting for me to elaborate on directions.

"Just phase," I sighed, "you can sniff him out. He can't have gotten far, he's on crutches."

I listened as she dragged herself out the door like I'd just sent her to run a forfeit. Somehow she'd come back and make this all my fault, even thought SHE was the one who wanted to apologize. At least this gave me a temporary break from her insanity. It was finally safe to go outside again. I knocked on mom's door to give her the all-clear.

"Where'd she go?" mom enquired, coming out of her room into the uncharacteristically quiet house.

"To apologize to Jake,"

She looked incredulous, and then sat down next to me on the couch.

"You put her up to this, didn't you?" I asked.

"What? Me? No! Never," she replied defensively.

"Mom, it's okay, I can't lie either."

She laughed. "Someone has to keep her under control. She's a wild one. Reminds me of myself when I was her age... You on the other hand, are too much like your father: too naive, too quick to see the good in people. It's why he married a head-case like me!" she chortled, but quickly grew sad and quiet after that. There was a bit of a pause as we both let memories of dad, many of which took place in this very room, wash over us.

"Hey, mom?" I started after the long silence "...what do you think dad would've thought... of Jake and me?"

"Well, your father always liked Jacob. 'Billy's boy', he called him, 'he's a good kid; much better than that Rachel and that Rebecca - abandoning their crippled father like that.' I think he would've seen a kind of confluence in two best friends' sons turning out to be... best friends."

"He wouldn't have thought I was... letting him down... at all?"

"Oh Seth," she beamed at me, "your father was, above all else, a practical man. To him, manhood didn't come from being macho and pretending to be someone you weren't. It was about accepting everything that you were, the good and the bad, struggling against your hardships, overcoming your obstacles, and never giving up. To be a man was to take control of a situation, to be a valuable and respected member of the community, and a trustworthy friend. Those values got him far. It's how he managed to tame me!" she giggled. "It's why he was on the council. And it's why they chose him to coach Sam Uley when he first started out as the new Pack Leader."

"Dad coached Sam?" I asked. I wondered why I'd never seen it in any of Sam's memories.

She nodded. "I didn't know either until I joined the council. I still don't know a lot of things about what he did there. But trust me, Seth. He would've been proud of the admirable young man you've become. He would've respected your choices; probably even commended you for choosing what you really want, in your heart... even if it means taking the harder road."

I smiled, feeling kind of embarrassed, kind of sad... and very relieved.

I poked at my dinner absentmindedly. Earlier, mom and I had gone to Billy and Jake's to give them the extra two serves she'd made for them. Billy, as always, was glad to see us. Jake wasn't home yet. I couldn't help but worry, and started to tune mom's jabbering about Leah's bad temper out of my head.

"Billy, do you mind if I go into Jake's room?"

"It's practically your room, too, son," he chuckled, and he and mom shared a jibe about how they should save both our families a whole lot of time and just move in together.

I entered the darkened room and, even though I'd been in here a hundred times - slept in here, voiced some of my most intimate thoughts here - tonight, it felt like walking into another world. There was a chill in the air that I never felt when Jake was here. I flicked the light on, and even its glow felt colder, more unreal. Something made me feel uneasy, wrong. I looked around at the familiar surroundings. Something was... off. The varied possessions that were crammed onto the top of his dresser were more ordered than usual, like someone had neatened them up. Not Jake, he never cleaned his room.

Then I saw it. Amongst it all, an envelope made of thick, ivory-colored paper was at the centre of the organized mess, leaning against a small wooden box. I picked up the envelope and inspected it for a second, but then was distracted by the intricate beauty of the box. It was hand- carved, that was obvious. The dark, robust wood had been chiseled by an expert hand, leaving barely enough space to wedge a sheet of paper under the lid. Bands of tribal patterns adorned all four sides. On top was a carving of two wolves, howling at a glowing white moon made of inlaid shell. I reached out to pick it up...

"I'll take that, thank you," Billy's voice startled me from behind.

I whipped around to see his stern, deeply lined expression, unmoving as a cliff-face.

"The envelope please, Seth."

With a trembling hand, I handed it over to him. The second it was within his reach, he snatched it out of my grasp. His eyes still watching mine, he wedged the bulky rectangle of paper between his leg and the side of his wheelchair.

"Alright, Billy, that's all I came to do..." mom called over as she straightened out the two simple but tidy place settings at the table. Billy lapsed back into his usual warm manner as he wheeled towards the kitchen, and I was left shaky, and a little dumbfounded.

What was in that envelope? More specifically, what was in it that Billy didn't want me to see? The images from those few fleeting moments replayed through my head as I searched them for any clue as to what might have taken place. The envelope... and that box... both things were so out of place in Jake's little room. Too formal, too nice compared to the rough-and-ready pine furniture that filled the rest of the space. The envelope: white and crisp and cool. The box: solid and earthy and warm. Together they formed an incoherent image in my mind. The more I thought about it, the more I couldn't help but think of the fight up in the mountains, with Edward and me poised back to back, cool-white against earthy-brown.

The ringing of the phone shattered my thoughts. Mom answered it before my brain had even caught up with what was going on.

"Billy?" she asked, surprised, "is something...? Oh. Yes, he's here. Hang on a second, I'll put him on." She clamped her hand over the mouthpiece. "He wants to talk to you."

I took the phone from her, and curled my legs up onto my chair, trying to suppress the sickening feeling already rising in my stomach. I knew mom didn't like feet on the chairs at the dinner table, but judging from the troubled look on her face, that was the least of our worries right now.

"Hello, Billy?" I said anxiously.

"Seth, is he there?"

It was clear who he meant.

"No? Why would he be? Is something wrong?" I looked at mom, her eyes already wide with concern.

"Nothing... no, nothing to be alarmed about," Billy said, but his tone betrayed his words. He wasn't calm, and neither should we have been. "He just... took off. I assumed he'd go straight to your place... but... I guess he could be anywhere!" He gave a nervous laugh. "But he phased, that's what I'm worried about... the doctor said he shouldn't phase for at least..."

I dropped the phone. Mom called after me, but it was no use. I was already bolting for the door.

Before I'd even gotten near it, it swung open in front of me. Sam stood there, the light pouring out from the house casting deep shadows across his Alpha face. He'd seen the panic in my eyes, and he lunged.

But I was faster than Sam. Whirling around on my heel, I was running for the back door in a split-second. Out of the corner of my eye, mom had picked the phone up off the table and was holding it with both hands, pressed against her ear. Her mouth hung open, but there was no sound, just a look of complete shock.

It was just enough to distract me, because when I looked back towards my goal, Quil and Embry filled the back door, and I was running straight into their ensnaring arms.

I struggled hard against them. I knew there wasn't much use; both these boys were bigger, stronger than me. They locked me down, two pairs of arms grabbing me, restraining my thrashing, frantic movements. But they say there's a strength that comes from nowhere at the moments when you need it most. When someone you love is in danger, there's nothing you can't overcome. That was probably how I found myself breaking out of their grip, and sprinting across my backyard. I reached speeds that were most likely breaking world records, and then exploded out of my clothes into a hurtling ball of sandy-brown fur that was quickly tearing through the forest.

<JAKE!> I yelled.

If he was anywhere, anywhere without a thousand miles, he would hear me.

<JAKE!> I yelled again. I willed every neuron in my brain into thinking his name, into making him hear me. I could feel him; sense his presence, as always when we were wolves together. He was trying hard not to think of the pack, but it was unnatural for him, and glimpses of his mind bled through. They showed me where he was going; he wasn't far, but he was heading for the Canadian border. I wheeled around that way too.

<Don't follow me,> his voice came back, flat and cold. It didn't even sound like him. There was no hint at all of the reason why he was running away.

Then the realization hit me, that he was handing himself over to the wolf's instincts. He wasn't - didn't want to be - Jake anymore. Now he was just a mind lost in the animal's body. My legs crumbled under me. Thorns and rocks scratched at my underside. I must've slowed down, enough for Sam, Quil and Embry to catch up with me in human form. They approached me cautiously, glancing between each other for some idea of what to do.

"We should phase."

"Why? We won't even be able to hear him."

"Shhh... give him a minute, will you?"

<Jake...> I whimpered, thinking only to myself now. I imagined him as if he were in front of me, as if I were really talking to him, <I know you're in there; and I know you can hear me, Jake. Please? You don't have to go... Whatever it is, we can work it out together. I love you, Jake! And I don't wanna be without you! Please... don't... don't leave me.>

He couldn't ignore the emotion in my voice. No, not just in my voice. We were one mind, and he could physically feel how much he was hurting me. One or two incoherent thoughts leaked through. No words. He was no longer thinking in language.

Amongst the jumble of pictures, I caught a glimpse of a scene from his memory. It was of my own sleeping face, illuminated by the pale moonlight streaming through his bedroom window. The memory came into sharp focus as it surged through my mind, how cool my lips were to his touch as he pressed two of his fingers against them, how heavy his heart was with regret that he had to go.

<Kwop kalawo'li...>

It was what he had whispered to me in the dark that night, and the only words he was capable of now.

Sam came up to me and put his hand on my side. I didn't know if wolves could cry, but I was coming pretty close.

"Let him be, Seth," Sam intoned in a voice like distant rolling thunder, "he'll come home when he's ready."

<I love you too, Jake,> I whispered to the wind, <don't forget that.>

A cold draft whipped through the room. The front door was open, and it was pouring heavily outside. There was a muted exchange of low voices, then the squelching of wet, bare feet as the two switched places. Paul left, and Embry came and took his place. He stood in entrance for a second, waiting for something. In another time, I would've been thrilled to see Embry, to have him over at my house. As it was, his presence washed over me.

"Seth, sorry bro... I don't want to be a pain... but can I please have a towel?"

I nodded to no-one in particular, and then started to get up.

"It's okay, I can get it myself... just tell me where they are."

"Hallway," I muttered, "cupboard on the right."

I fixed my gaze out the window on the far side of the room. It was mid- morning, but the sky hadn't gotten any brighter since dawn, when mom left for work and Leah pissed off to a place where she could make someone else's life hell. I curled my arms back around my knees and sat like that, a ball in the middle of the sofa, while Embry returned with a towel and started drying his hair.

"So... what do you want to do today?" he asked, sounding a bit at a loss.

"Nothing," I replied.

"We could rent some movies? Have a day in? Make some popcorn, watch something cool?"

I shook my head.

"...no? Okay... well... Paul said you could borrow his Xbox?"

Fuck, no.

"We could go running?"

Now that was just adding insult to injury.

"We'll take a drive to Seattle?" He was really clutching at straws. I wish he wouldn't try to be so upbeat about this. This was usually Quil's job, to try to make light of a situation. Or mine. Not his. Optimistic just didn't suit Embry at all.

"Come on, dude, I'm trying to make this easier on you, okay?" he sighed, finally reverting back to the usual, no-shit Embry, "co-operate a bit here, help me out."

"I just... can you... can you just stay with me?" I asked, looking at the floor. I didn't want him to see the pools building in my eyes.

"Sure, buddy. As long as you want me here, I'll stay."

The day dragged on, and I didn't move. Mom came home from work during her lunch break to check on me, bringing food for a few of the pack boys and me. Embry devoured his share, and Jared and Quil did too when they stopped by later. Mine went untouched. That night, Embry went running again while Sam stayed over. Leah was warned this time - and she graciously chose to spend the night at a friend's. The next day was the same routine, with different faces. And the next day. And the one after that. I lost track of time, the position of the sun in the sky, the rhythms of life that passed in and out of this house. Billy didn't visit. I didn't expect him to. Mom gave her shot at offering me comfort, but in the end even she figured that this situation was best left to my brothers to handle.

But, by the fourth night, even my dulled, indifferent mind started to notice patterns: a predominance of certain faces that were spending time with me. I saw Quil and Sam a lot, but Embry most of all. He'd appear constantly, now and then throughout the day - either before or after running a shift, in the evenings when he had nothing else to do, and then, after a while, he'd stay the night, every night.

It was on one of these abnormally warm summer nights that I lay awake long after I'd gone to bed. The swirling shadows on the ceiling conspired to keep me up, and it felt like my senses were heightened, unable to tune anything out. At about half-past midnight, the back door creaked open, and Embry's now-familiar soft footsteps crossed to my door. He peeked in, at my eyes closed and pretending to be asleep. Satisfied, he went to his usual makeshift bed in the front of the house.

Slowly, over the next span of intangibly-passing time, I became very conscious of my breathing, and that of everyone else in the tiny building; mom in her room, Leah across the hallway, and Embry on the couch in the living room. The heat was still too much for me, and my mind was too alert. I found myself clambering out of my bed, nudging the door open, and shuffling into the front room. Embry was splayed out on the couch, his tall frame too long for it. His feet hung off the end of one armrest; his head leaned on the other. I let my fingers hover an inch from his skin, feeling the warmth coming off his body. They drifted over the smooth muscles in his chest, the ridges of his abs, until they came to his hand, resting lazily on his thigh.

I brushed his skin, just the slightest touch.

He shifted. His brow furrowed a little.

"Mmm... yeah, dude? What's up?" he whispered with his eyes still closed.

I took his hand, tugging at it. He was reluctant at first. His body was heavy and weighed down with sleep. But finally he came with me, shuffling along as I led him towards my room. Without a word, I settled myself back into bed, and he must've gotten the message, because he squeezed in next to me.

It was still frustratingly warm. Two bodies in the small bed didn't make it better. But when Embry curled his arm around my waist and weaved his fingers through mine, I felt a kind of peace wash over me that I'd forgotten. It felt like pulling on an old sweater you used to love, like swimming in the lake you used to swim in as a kid. It felt like coming home.

And so we kept it up; Embry and my unusual arrangement. During the day, he'd drop in as often as he could, and every night, he'd curl up with me in my bed. We started to develop an understanding with each other; after all, we'd both just lost a friend, someone who was a huge part of our lives. For me, the deep, choking urge to cry came less when Embry was around. He wasn't filling the void - no-one could fill that void. And anyway, no one would need to. Jake was going to come back. But in the meantime, Embry made getting by from day-to-day easier, and I think I made things easier on him as well.

He became a permanent fixture at our house, like the big brother I never had. Mom was wary at first. She didn't like the thought of me getting this emotionally attached to someone else again. To her, I guess, it seemed like all the male role-models in my life were destined to abandon me. She treated Embry with a lot of caution, until she began to accept that he was actually helping me through. I'd been leaving the house more, hanging out with my brothers again. There was only one more thing: I refused to phase. Without Jake there, that other world would seem so silent, so empty. And it would seal, once and for all, what I knew deep in my mind, but couldn't face up to: the fact that he was actually gone, and the possibility that he might not be coming back.

I rolled over onto my side, to face the wall. The thin sheet spread over us was bunched up under me now, and Embry gave it a firm tug back to his side of the bed. Then he let his arm lazily drape across me again. It'd been two weeks, to the night, since the last time that I phased. Two weeks since that night when I went barreling through the woods, chasing after him. Two weeks since I slept without my dreams being filled with that cold, animalistic mind that chilled me long after I'd woken up. I nestled back against Embry's firm body, just wanting that contact, the feeling of being enveloped, protected. He sensed that, and tightened his arm around me. I felt my vision blurring, my eyelids started to slip shut...

It can't have been long, though, before I was startled awake by the movement. Embry's hand had shifted from my stomach, and was now brushing the front of my shorts. My dick was waking up too. It didn't take much more than the rhythmic strumming of his fingers across my fabric-covered shaft to get it fully hard in just a short while. Then they slipped under the elastic of my waistband. A jolt ran through my whole body, and Embry froze. His warm breath was quickening against the back of my neck, and I could hear the rapid drumming of his heart through his chest. We lay there, tense, both of us afraid to move, until he was satisfied that I was not awake.

By now, my cock was straining against the front of my shorts, wetting the cotton with a growing spot of pre-cum. Embry's fingers reached that spot, and started to rub the slick fluid over the tip. I had to clench my teeth to make sure I didn't give myself away. His hand slid down the length of my shaft, palming it, taking in by feel what he couldn't by sight. As his fingers finally spread through the soft hair at the base, I felt him shiver behind me.

"Fuck..." he gasped in astonishment, his lips practically skimming my ear.

With some effort, he managed to free my hard-on from the confines of my shorts, and started stroking it lazily.

"Holy shit, bro... you're pretty big for a little guy," he whispered.

Did he mean for me to hear that? Was he talking to me? I couldn't tell. I didn't respond, still pretending to be asleep.

"Feels good, doesn't it?" he asked as he ran a finger teasingly along the underside. I stayed quiet.

"Come on, bro... I know you're awake." My heart jumped.

"See? I heard that. C'mon, talk to me... how's it feel?"

It took a moment to settle my nerves. His words hung in the air, unanswered. He grew hesitant, and his hand slowed. So I reached down, wrapping my hand around his, and we both started stroking in time. He laughed quietly, the bass sound making the whole bed shudder.

"That's more like it."

He... we... kept jerking me. He set the pace, his hand keeping a smooth and steady motion on each stroke up and down my shaft. In the end, I couldn't take it anymore. I was riding the edge, but it wasn't enough to bring me over. I started bucking my hips, fucking his hand, getting the speed I needed to cum. It wasn't long before I was whimpering into my pillow while spraying my load all over the bed. He tugged on me until I started going soft again, then wiped his hand on the sheets, and rolled over onto his other side. I'd barely had time to come to grips with what had just happened before the bed started rocking back and forth with Embry's own jacking. I kept still, not sure what to do. He stifled a moan, and his body tensed. Then he was cumming - our bodies were so close that I could feel each wave of orgasm hit him.

That was it. He drifted off to sleep within minutes, and, even though my head had only just begun to fill with confusion, so did I.

We didn't talk about it the next morning. He pulled his shorts back on, and I gathered up the dirty sheets to wash myself before mom got to them. Nor did he stop by at all that day, which was not like him at all, and I found myself sitting in the chair by the front window, book in hand, but only half-reading it, preoccupied with waiting for him to show up. I had no doubt, though, that he'd be back that night. If he wasn't, there'd be something truly wrong.

Sure enough, soon after I'd gone to bed, and the last lights in the house had been turned off, Embry let himself in through the back door. I heard him slip the key back in its hiding place over the doorframe, then steal into my room. He was warmer than usual as he sidled in next to me. He'd just been running. The heat in his muscles accentuated the scent of the rich earth and pine needles he'd just trodden through. It was safe to say that after what had happened last night, I wouldn't be falling asleep anytime soon. I lay in wait, a predator waiting for the first sign of movement. I didn't have to wait long.

His hand found its way easily into my shorts this time, with no hesitation at all in taking my already-rigid cock into his grasp. He really did come straight from running - he was naked, and his own stiff rod was grinding against my back each time I thrust into his hand. He must've felt the pressure building in my body, my hips rocking faster, because he stopped abruptly.

"Whoa, hold up, I don't want you to blow just yet." He released his grip on my cock, and gingerly pried his hand away from mine.

"I wanna get a good look at it first."

He flipped the sheet off us, and rolled me onto my back. My cock slapped up against my heaving stomach. It was pulsing, bouncing up off my abs with each heartbeat. I looked sheepishly at Embry. I had nothing on him. He stood there, tall and statuesque, silhouetted in the light from the window. The faint glow crept around the curves of his shoulders, his arms, his sides; before vanishing into the deep shadowy pools between his long muscles.

"Hang on," he said, and pulled the curtain open wider. A tiny bit more moonlight seeped into the room, but to werewolf eyes, he might as well have switched a lamp on.

He trailed his fingers lightly along the length of my cock. I'd gone soft a bit, with him staring at my body so intently, but I'd been almost ready to shoot, and so I was hard as a bar of steel again by the time his touch drifted off the tip.

"How long is it?" he asked.

"Dunno," I lied, "never measured it."

"Everyone measures," he said in disbelief.

Did I mention I was a shitty liar?

"Okay... it's about nine-and-a-half."

"Goddamn, kid."

"It's not that big... guess it just looks bigger 'cos I'm not as tall as you guys."

"You bet it does," he grinned, "looks fucking huge on you. It's a good- looking one too."

"Thanks...?" I answered awkwardly. But he was no longer paying attention.

Instead, he was hovering just above me, a look of indecision lining his face. Slowly, tentatively, he parted his lips and brought them over the head of my cock. Not quite touching - just THERE.

"FUCK!" I gasped, slamming my head back on the pillow. I gripped the sheets at my side. This was torture.

"I... I can't do it," he said back in a low voice, "I'm sorry."

"What? No!" I moaned. "Just finish me off, please, Embry! I need this so bad right now."

He didn't look right. Something was still bothering him, and he wasn't about to say what. Eventually, wearily, he nodded, and took hold of my aching hard-on again. It felt good - what hand wouldn't? But I could tell he was distracted. I rubbed his arm, beaming encouragingly at him, and even then all he could manage was a weak smile. Even when I came, and spattered the both of us in my hot spunk, his eyes were far-off. He grabbed a T-shirt off the floor and wiped his arm down, then dropped it onto my still-huffing chest.

"Be back in a second," he said flatly.

As I cleaned myself up, I heard his footsteps cross the hallway to the bathroom, followed by the rhythmic sound familiar to every teenage boy. You've gotta be kidding me, I thought. He wouldn't. But the harder I listened, the more I was convinced that he'd actually left to go to the bathroom and beat off. It wasn't long before he grunted hoarsely, and I heard each shot hit the water as he fired them straight into the toilet. At least he had good aim. Flushing... and then more footsteps heading back. I rolled over to the face the wall, turning my back to Embry, who was now climbing into my bed. We were so close. I could feel the hot blood racing just under his skin, and the luscious scent of pine and moss and rich earth washed over me once again. But we might as well have been a world apart.

I was woken by the shifting of weight around my narrow bed. In the uncharacteristically bright sunshine that filled the room, Embry was up on his feet, stretching and scratching the back of his head. Then he noticed I was awake. Immediately, panic filled his eyes.

"Uh... I was just... going," he gestured out the door.

"The hell you are!" I barked, sitting up. Then, realizing that mom and Leah probably weren't far away, I lowered my voice a notch. "What was the deal with last night?"

"Seth, please don't make me..." his eyes darted around the room.

"Well, unlike the others, I can't see right into your head. So you're gonna have to tell me, the old fashioned way."

He huffed, and let his shoulders drop.

"I couldn't do it to Jake," he said, "I mean; he's only been gone, what, two weeks?"

"I don't think Jake would mind that much," I said sourly.

Embry's lips pulled into a wry, lopsided smile. "You don't mean that. Or if you do, you don't know Jake." He sat down beside me, and wrapped a long, lean arm around my waist. "You're HIS, Seth. I've been in his head, man, and I know... I'm probably already going to be in trouble for what I did."

I felt myself choking up, and took to staring at the flecks of dust dancing in the shaft of sunlight that poured in through the window.

"And anyway..." he started, "I'm..." He stopped there, unable to get the words out. Embry had always been strong and reticent, too cool for words. I watched the conflicted emotions play across his face.

"It's okay," I said, "you can tell me."

"Everyone else knows already. You're the last one, 'cos you can't hear our thoughts without Jake... and besides, you haven't phased in weeks."

"What happened?"

"Fuck... I've never actually had to SAY this before... it's weird... it's hard," he laughed darkly, "man, this is so much easier when you can just THINK it."

"Well, you don't have to tell if you don't wanna," I shrugged.

"Nah, nah... I want you to know." He drew a deep breath. "I think I'm in love with Quil."

I didn't think that people actually did double-takes in real life, but I'm pretty sure I did one when he told me that.

"Are you serious? You imprinted on Quil?!" I caught the hysteria in my own voice, and quickly clapped my hands over my mouth.

"No!" he cringed, "Jesus, no! Not imprinted! I just... man, I just WANT him."

"Shit... kinda like me and Jake?"

"Kind of... I don't know. I don't know what to think! I mean, he's imprinted on Claire! He's only ever going to want to be with her... and yet I'm... Argh! It's so fucking pathetic."

"Does he know?"

Embry gave me a "no, duh" look. Oh yeah, dumb question.

"What does he think, then?"

"He hasn't SAID anything... what he's THINKING, though..." he shook his head. "Of course, Claire's still like a little sister to him right now, so he was thinking maybe he could be with me for a few years, until she grows up and the imprinting takes over." He sighed. "How fucked up is that?"

I shrugged. "'S'not that bad. I mean, Jake and me, either of us could imprint on someone else at any minute, right? You've just gotta live for the moment."

"Yeah, but I'd be the OTHER guy the whole time. It'll be like, 'my soul- mate is still in diapers, so you'll do for now'. I'll never be sure if he actually loves me back."

"You don't think he can love two people at the same time?"

"He's imprinted, Seth. The force behind something like that, you don't screw with."

"But you can't just live with that for a few years? Who knows, you guys might break up by then anyway... do you think this is a forever-type- thing?"

"I don't know, buddy. I really don't know."

As he stared for longer out the window, his brow started furrowing. He'd seen something out there that I was too short to see. I started to ask what it was, but he cut me off.

"Does it ever weird you out?"

"Does what?" I asked.

"Being in... love with another guy?" the words came out stilted, like he still couldn't quite bring himself to say them.

"I dunno," I replied, looking down at my feet, "I don't really think about it. Never been in love with anyone else."

"No shit?"

"Yeah, Jake's the only guy... or person even... I've ever wanted. I've loved him for as long as I can remember."

"Damn... even when you guys were kids?"

I nodded. "I didn't know what it was at the time, but yeah, I guess I had a thing for him then."

Embry seemed to perk up a bit. Well, as much as stony, levelheaded Embry could. "I remember this one time, Quil and me were with Jake at his place, in his garage," he said animatedly, "and you came by with these boxes of cookies your mom made for the school fundraiser? You must've been like, what, eleven, twelve? Anyway, you asked us if we wanted to buy them, and neither of us did... but Jake REALLY wanted a box. But he didn't have any money with him, so you just gave him a box for free. You even seemed pretty pleased with yourself." He grinned. "So... was that...?"

"Yeah, I remember that," I blushed, "I thought I was pretty cool to be able to give him something he wanted, just like that. He was like this hero to me back then."

"And he isn't now?" Embry teased.

"Not so much," I joked, "I mean, now that I've seen him with his pants off, I'm not so impressed. But it's okay. I still love him."

We shared a relaxed laugh. It felt good, just to let go, after all the loaded conversations of the past couple of weeks. But even as the laughs subsided, I saw again that he remained distracted by whatever he'd seen outside.

"Listen, Seth, I probably should get going."

"What's the rush?" I asked, glancing out the window, but I still couldn't see whatever it was that he'd seen.

"It's nothing, there's a few things I've got to do is all."

"Okay... You'll stop by during the day?"

"Yeah, when I can," he replied, his eyes continuing to wander off elsewhere. "Um... don't mean to be nosy or anything, but did you ever find out why Jake ran off?"

The instant sting, then a deeper pain, started to flood my chest.

"Uh... no... I've kinda been putting it off." Because I don't think I could handle it, I added silently.

"I understand, you don't really want to think about it," Embry said, "but maybe it'd be good today, just to go by Billy's and have a chat to him?"

I looked numbly at Embry's optimistic face.

"You know, face your demons and all that?" he offered, semi- encouragingly. "Shit, I'm no good at this! Just... please, go? I wanna know too... so...? For my sake?" he pressed.

"Okay, okay, I'll go."

"Thanks," he sighed. "I'll see you tonight, if not earlier. Be good. Say hi to Billy for me," he said as he shut my door behind him.

Well fuck, I sighed, I guess it's time to start leaving the house again.

I shifted my weight impatiently from foot to foot as I waited, just staring at the flaking paint of the door in front of me. What was taking him so long? Well, at least he was on his way. I heard things being shifted around inside, the clunky wheels of Billy's old chair rolling closer to the door. Finally, he opened it.

"Seth?" he asked, blinking at the glaring light. It was an unusually fine day for La Push, and there was actually sunshine.

"Yeah..." I half-laughed uneasily, "hey, how're you doing, Billy?"

"Been better. Why don't you come in?" he mumbled. "Close the door behind you, will you?"

I followed him into the dim, musty house. The curtains were drawn across all of the windows, and stacks of papers were building up on the table.

"Sorry, uh... about the mess," he apologized as he wheeled himself around the room, picking up what loose items he could and piling them in his lap. "It's been hard without Jake around. I don't get much done... and I can't expect your mom to help with everything..."

I bent down and started grabbing pieces of paper, food wrappers, leaves... things that had fallen to the floor or blown in through the open windows that Billy wasn't able to reach from his wheelchair. Amongst them, a crumpled piece of fancy-looking paper covered in immaculate handwriting caught my eye, and I picked it up off the floor.

"...Lucky for me, it's not all bad. Rachel graduated early - would you believe it? She's back from Washington State soon. Didn't like me being left here all by myself and everything, so she..." his chatter stopped abruptly when he noticed the piece of paper I was carefully reading. He chewed his words.

"The rest is over there," he said numbly, gesturing towards the mountainous heaps on the table.

I carefully put the handwritten note aside, and sifted through the sheets and sheets of newspapers, grocery lists, bills - a half-completed missing persons report - amongst other things. Finally, I found it. It was in shreds, only recognizable because they were all pieces of the same thick ivory paper I'd picked up off Jake's dresser the night he went away. The pieces of the envelope Billy had forbidden me from looking at.

It only took a moment to rearrange them and, like a jigsaw puzzle, the words - and the picture in my mind - became increasingly clear. My hands were shaking as I slid the last fragment of paper into its place. I looked at Billy.

"I should've let you read it when you first found it," he sighed.

"I... I don't get it?" I said. "Why didn't you?"

"If I'd known he'd react the way he did, I would've. You could've explained it to him, made him calm down about the whole thing..." Billy shook his head, letting his tired gaze fall into his lap.

I was still struck by this revelation. He had run away - because of Bella. The blood began to race in my veins. Red filled the edges of my vision. I'd tried to be good, to accept how much he loved her as a friend. It wasn't easy, and there'd been many times when I'd had to stop and remind myself that he loved me more. At least, that's what I thought. It was like there'd been an earthquake, and I was just standing there, watching the tower that had been my faith in Jake start to crumble away...

"Have you heard from him? Do you know if he's doing okay?" Billy's voice shook me back to reality. I carefully unclenched my fists and loosened my jaw.

"I don't know. I haven't phased since... that night."

"Well, I uh..." Billy coughed, "I assumed you'd be keeping an eye on him... since no one else can."

My heart began to race frantically. I took a step closer to Billy, and the sharp movement must've scared him, because he was suddenly shirking away from me.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, trying to keep the building agitation out of my voice.

"Sam... came by the other day," he stammered, "and told me that he can't hear Jake anymore. Not like he used to be able to, anyway. Jake's... renounced his leadership or something like that. So no one's heard a thing from him, no one knows where he is or how he's doing. Sam says only you'll be able to hear him. Said there's some kind of... bond... between you two. He's depending on you to be the middleman."

Sam. Embry... Quil, Jared, Paul, fucking... Leah! None of them had told me that no one was looking out for Jake! He could be anywhere - he could even be dead - and no one would know! My mind reeled, I struggled to get a hold of myself.

"I take it you haven't heard from him?" Billy tried.

"No, Billy," I said, trying to keep my breathing even, "I haven't."

"Oh," he said, clicking his tongue. He maneuvered his chair around and started heading for Jake's room. "Well, since you're here, I might as well give you this..."

But I was already shrugging out of my T-shirt as I barreled towards the door. I punched it out of my way.

<Jake?> I called out into the emptiness.

The response was clear as a bell, though I could tell it was coming from far off. A flood of emotions and memories filled that other mind, triggered by the sound of my voice. And still, there were no words.

But he was there. He was safe.

My frenzied sprint slowed to a paced run, now that I could feel him with me. I knew it was pointless to go after him, so I went for the next best thing. I turned towards the sea cliffs, heading for the place that I knew was his and his alone. All the while, I replayed through the last two weeks, like a movie in mind. I knew he could see it - how could he ignore me? And I felt his reactions; the pangs of guilt at the times I'd been reduced to despair out of loneliness, the relieved gladness that Embry had been taking care of me, and a great sense of homesickness. When I got to that place - his place - high on the cliffs, overlooking the bay, the memories just got stronger. I pawed a lazy circle around the spot on the flat, rocky outcrop where he used to sit, human or wolf, just contemplating the world. I thought I caught a whiff of his scent - but that was impossible. The rain and sea wind would've erased any trace of him by now.

I thought of the time when he'd been unconscious, and how I knew I would love him even if he was injured for life. Even if he spent the rest of his days unable to hear, or see, or talk to me, I would never stop telling him how much I loved him. And so why should I stop now?

The waves below sparkled in the sharp mid-summer sunlight, the rocks beneath my paws radiated warmth, and the wind was refreshingly cool. And it was there that an hour passed, and another, then another again, as I sat just replaying my memories to Jake. No words; just images of the things he'd missed while he was away. Occasionally, he'd show me something that he'd seen in his wandering, or play one of my memories back, wanting further explanation; but for the most part he listened. I got some sense of where he was. He had been running before, but now he'd slowed down. The forest he was in now was steep and rocky, and he'd been carefully picking his way between the boulders and trees while listening.

He hadn't phased back in two weeks. The Jake I knew was almost completely gone, replaced by the primal instincts of the wolf. But one of those instincts was a need to protect its mate, and I could feel how immensely gratifying it was to both Jake and the wolf to know that I was alright.

The more memories I showed him, the more I realized that most of them - in fact, almost all of them - took place inside my house. I had very little to show him of Billy, or the boys in the pack. I felt his concern growing, and a similar guilt rose up inside me. I really had to get out more. When I promised him that I would, he started to relax again.

By now, the water was starting to lap lazily at the sinking disc of the sun. I knew mom would start to worry - I hadn't told anyone where I'd gone. So, as I stood up and started the walk back home, I showed Jake images that I was making up, daydreams of what I would be doing tonight. There was a surge of longing in his heart, wanting to be there with me and Embry and mom and Billy when we sat down to eat together.

<We miss you too, Jake.>

And then I felt his presence slip from my mind as I phased back.

Embry flicked the kitchen light off, then walked over to the couch where I was sprawled, staring vacantly at the TV. He handed me a mug of hot cocoa, setting his own mug down on the side table before wedging his way onto the couch next to me. Mom had gone to bed early; she was driving to Port Angeles first thing tomorrow. Leah was out running.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you... you know... about you being the only one able to talk to Jake and stuff," Embry said softly.

"Didn't you think I could handle it?" I asked, half jokingly. I was mad, to a degree. But I also knew that I could never stay mad at my brothers for any length of time... that anything they did was always with my best interests in mind. There were just occasional misunderstandings.

"How long did you think you could hide it from me?" I continued.

"Sam wanted you to come around in your own time. He didn't want to force you into being mediator between us and Jake, if you weren't ready for it."

"I wish he'd stop treating me like a kid."

"He feels very protective of you. Kind of the same way I do." As he took a sip from his mug, his dark eyes glinted in the light of the lamp next to him, and behind them, I could almost see the cogs turning in his brain. He jumped up.

"I think these drinks need more of a kick," Embry said as he wandered across to the cupboards lining the wall behind the dining table. One by one, he opened each of them, searching through their contents, until he found what he was after. He came back with a tall, brown bottle with some fancy-looking label stuck to it.

"Isn't that alcohol?" I asked.

Embry smiled back at me, white teeth glowing in the dim light.

"Yeah, I think it is, Seth."

He unscrewed the top and then casually splashed some into each of our mugs. I was probably looking at him like he'd started chewing glass.

"There, try that," he grinned.

I took the mug carefully with both hands, slowly bringing it to my lips. The rich scent rushed up my nose, coupled with a burning that lingered long after the aroma was gone. I ventured a sip.

Embry was watching me intensely.

"What?" I asked.

"Just watching for your reaction," he teased. "How's it taste?"

"It's good. And no, I haven't had alcohol before."

He chuckled and sidled back next to me.

"You're lucky my mom won't notice," I said.

"Well, that's good. Why not?"

"She doesn't drink anymore. Most of this stuff was my dad's."

Embry nodded, and then swilled the liquid around in the gracefully curved bottle contemplatively.

We drained our mugs while watching nothing in particular play out on the TV screen. I was too deep in thought to pay attention, and I could tell Embry was too. I guess we had that in common, Embry and me: two fatherless boys, left with the burden that our dads never had to bear... angry at them, but kind of also wishing that they were here to tell us what to do, or even just pat us on the back and say "well done, son".

When we finished off the last of the cocoa, he held his mug out to me, asking for a refill. I took it to the kitchen and returned with two fresh, steaming mugs. This time, I didn't hesitate to grab the bottle and add a big splash of the liquor myself. Embry flashed me a wicked smile as we clinked our mugs together and then drew a long swig from them.

By the time we got to the bottom of our second cups, my eyelids were starting to grow heavy. I felt warm; a deep, glowing warmth from inside, thanks to the combination of the hot drink and the alcohol, but also a comforting warmth from Embry's arm, which I now had wrapped around me.

I started to slump onto his chest, and I was barely aware of him gently prying the mug out of my grasp. The steady th-thump of his heart, the whooshing of his breath... were the last things I heard as the world went dark.

I rolled over, sticking to my clothes and to the sheets as I did. It was hot, and I was sweating more than just a bit. Embry was wedged in next to me on my bed, fully dressed as well, giving off waves of heat like a radiator. I remembered it now, falling asleep after being overcome by a mixture of tiredness and Embry's drinks. He must have carried me in here before passing out himself. I stretched out the arm I'd been sleeping on... God, I was sore.

Well, I can't go back to sleep like this, I thought.

I peeled my T-shirt off, and then tried to pull my shorts off without waking Embry, which was hard as they were really clinging to my skin. Flinging them into a damp heap in the corner, I lay down again. I blinked at the ceiling.

Guess I should help Embry out as well.

I sat up and looked the big guy over, trying to decide how best to go about this. I pushed him onto his back first, and then tried to roll his T- shirt up his body. Not as easy as I thought. I lifted him off the bed, and got the T-shirt about as far as his underarms. He must've really been knocked out good. With his shirt up as high as it would go, I made a start on his shorts, unbuttoning the fly then pulling the zip down, revealing his bulging manhood.

I licked my lips, not realizing until now that I was breathing heavy, and my head was still spinning a bit. Funnily enough, Embry never looked as good as he did now, bare between the shoulders and thighs, his cock lying lazily against his stomach. I leaned over him, inhaling his dark, luscious scent, mixed with the rich, lingering smell of the liquor. My hands roamed over his awesome, solid pecs... down across his smooth abs to that hardening piece of meat. Looking back up at him, he was still out cold, so I decided that I could probably get away with it...

The shorts would have to come off first, though. I started yanking them off, shifting first one leg then the other so that I could get them down to his ankles. I gave them one last tug... and was suddenly tumbling backwards off the bed with a loud THUMP. His shorts were in my hand, but he was also awake.

"Seth?" he groaned, "what's going on?"

He tried to sit up, but I had my hand on his chest in a second, pushing him back down. His black pupils glinted in the light from the window, and a sleepy but realizing smile crept across his face.

There was no time to waste. I was calling the shots this time, but who knew when his conscience would get the better of him again? No, I had to go straight for it. There was no warning when I pulled his cock upright, and lowered my mouth onto it.

"Ahhh!!!... Sweet mother of... Oh God, Seth!" he cried.

I started bathing his smooth knob with my tongue.

"Oh... ohhhh... keep going, man, that feels sooo good..."

I took his cock out of my mouth, but kept my lips close enough that they brushed against it while I spoke.

"Yeah...? Careful what you say, 'cos I'm not gonna stop this time."

"Don't stop!" he huffed, and started pushing me back down.

I worked all over his cock, keeping my tongue moving, playing with all the parts that I knew from experience felt the best. I must've been doing a good job; because Embry was soon gnawing on his fist to keep from crying out so loud he'd wake the whole street up.

He pummeled the back of my throat as his groans and whimpers grew louder and louder. All the pent-up desire of all our nights spent together was pouring out in this one act of pure, uninhibited sex. Jerking me off had just been to test the waters. This was what Embry REALLY wanted, and I could feel it in the way he tugged at my hair, the power of his one final thrust before he started arching off the bed, cumming, and cumming hard. I swallowed, and beamed at the boy under me, breathless, glistening with sweat, the taut muscles in his chest and stomach still clenching and unclenching as the climax faded.

"My turn?" I smiled hopefully at him.

He was silent, still catching his breath.

I pulled him up, his weight not a problem under my easy strength, and drew our faces together. His hot, panting breath scorched my lips. I placed his hand on my raging hard-on...

"Wait," he said.

Crap. Not this again. Not now.

"Embry, please..." I whined.

"I'm sorry, little bro... I can't do it."

I threw him back against the mattress, hard enough that he bounced.

"I said I'm sorry!" he cried.

"Fuck you."

I stormed off to the bathroom. Twisted the knobs in the shower. Stepped in under the steaming spray. All I wanted to do was to wash the grime and sweat and filth of tonight off myself. No, not just tonight. Every night since Jake left. Because no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't even begin to feel close to how he made me feel. I squinted my eyes shut and wished that this was all a nightmare. That somehow, when I opened my eyes again, I'd return to the real world, and Jake would be lying next to me like he was every morning. And I could tell him about my bad dream; which would make him laugh at my foolishness, kiss me, and promise me that I'd never have a dream like that again.

I pressed my head against the cold tile wall. The air was shuddering with a plaintive sobbing. It took me a moment to realize it was coming from me.

"Seth?"

"I said fuck off. Leave me alone."

"Come on, dude. I said I was sorry."

I could hear him getting closer. A moment later, I felt him right behind me in the shower. He picked up the soap, and started washing my back. His big, sure hands massaging the ache from my muscles, the pain from my whole being.

"I can't even imagine how you must feel," he said. "I'm trying to be here for you, bro... I'm doing all I can, 'cos it's what Jake would've wanted me to do... But there's only so much I can do."

His hands kneaded the knots in my shoulders.

"The rest, you're gonna have to do yourself. You have to try to move on, to keep going without him. Jake wouldn't want you sitting around doing nothing while he's not here. He'd want you to get on with your life," Embry continued as he pulled his fingers through my matted hair.

"What if I don't want to?" I croaked, "what if he's all I ever wanted, and I don't want anything else... and... and nothing is worth doing if he's not here?"

Embry gently turned me around. He looked, for a moment, at the tears mixing with the water running down my face. He pulled the wet hair away from my eyes.

"Then hooking up with me isn't going to fix it," he brushed his thumb across my lips. "Don't get me wrong, you're a great guy, Seth. And I love you like a little brother. But I'm not the answer to your problems. This whole 'sharing a bed' thing? It needs to stop. I'm not Jake, and I'm no replacement for him. I'm your friend, Seth, not your boyfriend." He saw the lump building in my throat, and sighed. "I know it's tough, but you're going to have to learn to go it alone."

Classic, no-shit Embry. Totally unafraid to pull the splinter out from the wound, no matter how much it hurt.

He held my face in his big hands. I felt the tension in his fingertips. He searched my eyes, then leaned in and kissed me softly; a show of affection, not of lust. He left me feeling exactly as he had said: alone.

I went back to my room, still shaking a towel through my wet hair. Embry was putting a fresh set of sheets on my bed. He looked up at me, and I looked away.

"Hey man... sorry if I came off a bit harsh," he murmured.

"It's okay. I needed to hear it."

"No hard feelings?"

"Nah."

He came over and put his arms around me, nuzzling his nose into the top of my still-damp hair.

"I'm gonna look after you, Seth. It's my duty to Jake. And you've gotta trust me that I'm always gonna do what's best for you, even if it doesn't feel like it at the time."

"Yeah, I know," I said. And then struggled out, "...thanks."

I wrapped my arms around him too, feeling the subtle shifting of his muscles with every breath he took.

"You smell amazing, you know that?" Embry chuckled.

"So I've been told."

He inhaled deeply.

"Damn, kid... I almost wanna eat you up!"

He dragged us both down onto the bed, and for a moment the world was Embry's fiery skin and the cool, clean sheets. I was getting hard again, and he could feel it grinding between his thighs.

"Please, Embry?" I begged.

I saw the conflict in his eyes. I was almost sure he was going to say no, no way, what did I tell you? We're done with this shit. Then he broke out in a resigned sigh.

"Okay. One last time."

He rolled us over and started dragging his teasing fingers over my chest.

"Only 'cos you're so fucking irresistible."

"Seth?"

Mmm... what?

"Seth... wake up, man!"

Fuck off. I rolled over onto my other side; pulled my pillow over my head.

But Embry didn't stop trying to shake me awake.

"Seth! Wake up!"

Maybe this was actually something important. Maybe someone set Leah on fire. I blinked groggily at him.

"Come on, little bro!" he grinned at me, "Get your ass moving. We're going surfing!"

I'd never been surfing before. But I'd watched every summer as kids from the reservation or even from Forks and Port Angeles took to the waves off First Beach. It looked fairly dangerous... the water was always freezing cold, and there were rocks under the current. Embry assured me, though, that those were only a threat to the ordinary human. We werewolves were above and beyond all that.

There were quite a few people out today, thanks to the great weather. The warm day - well, by Washington standards anyway - and the crisp sunshine had enticed people out of their homes and down to the water. Mind you, most of the beach wasn't the pretty, sandy sort you found on postcards. It was rocky, covered in big, round, dark pebbles washed smooth by the continuous pounding of the waves. Still, the hordes of tourists who descended on La Push each July never seemed to mind. They crowded around the water in their bathing suits like we were somewhere in Florida. And that was another great thing about summer. Nobody looked at us strange for walking around just in board shorts.

Embry wanted to drop by the souvenir shop along the beach on our way. The place was packed with chattering tourists, but the woman at the counter still looked up in surprise when the cowbell over the door clanged, announcing our arrival.

"And to what do I owe this visit from two strapping young men?" she sang out over the din of the shop.

"Hey mom," Embry said, self consciously. More than a few pairs of eyes had turned to see what all the excitement was about. "I just wondered if... I could please borrow some money?"

"Well, well," she chirped, "you never come home, I never know where you are at all ungodly hours of the night... and I don't get so much as a phone call from you for days on end, but as soon as you want money..."

Embry's gaze dropped sheepishly to the floor, so I gave her an apologetic look.

"And where are your manners, Embry Call? What, were you raised by a pack of wolves? Aren't you going to introduce me?"

"Oh. Oh yeah. Mom, this is Seth; Sue and Harry Clearwater's son."

"Nice to meet you, ma'am," I smiled.

"Ha!" she laughed, "it calls me 'ma'am'! None of that, sweetie, I'm too young for that."

Embry rolled his eyes at me.

"Seth Clearwater, was it? Embry's mentioned you. Nice to finally meet you too," she said as she swanned back around the counter, and opened the register with a 'ding'. "And what are you boys up to today?" she asked Embry.

"I was gonna take Seth surfing, actually."

"Lovely! Well you two have a good time," she beamed, waving a bundle of notes at Embry. He reached out for it, but she snatched it back. "Ah! What time can I expect you home? Remember, you're grounded after dark."

"Dinnertime, tonight..."

"Is that a promise?"

"I promise, mom... geez," he mumbled.

"Okay, then," she said, and pressed the money into his hand. "There's a little extra in there for lunch as well... growing boys have to eat!"

Embry was about to reply when she cut him off.

"Oh, I almost forgot. Here," she passed each of us a flyer from the pile beside the register. "Chief Swan came round with these this morning, wanted us to hand them out to anyone and everyone..."

I glanced at it, and her voice immediately faded into the background.

"HAVE YOU SEEN THIS BOY?" read the tall, bold type across the top of the sheet. Underneath that was a jumble of contact details of various police stations across the state of Washington.

The picture below was what made my heart hit the floor. It was him, sure - to the casual observer. But the school photograph, black and white and badly photocopied, missed the warmth of his eyes, the smooth curve of his jaw, which would shift depending on if he was worried or happy... the softness of his lips.

It missed everything that made him my Jacob.

I brushed my fingertips across the page, and Embry gripped my shoulder reassuringly.

"...and he hasn't even tried to call you or Quil or anyone else, has he?" Embry's mom carried on, "Been gone for weeks, no one's heard from him. If you ask me, he could be halfway across Canada by now."

You don't even know how right you are, I thought.

"It's alright, mom, don't worry about him. Jake can take care of himself." Embry slapped his flyer back onto the counter, before yanking mine out of my hands as well. "Thanks for the cash. I'll see you tonight."

She waved us off.

"Come on, let's go," he grumbled in a low voice only meant for me. I waved dazedly back at his mom, but she was already frantically serving customers again.

"I can't believe it!" Embry yelled as he crossed the road. I jogged after him, trying my best to keep up with his long strides. "Can't they fucking just leave him alone? It's so insensitive!"

"Chief Swan is just doing his job," I said, "Jake disappeared suddenly, what do you expect him to do?"

Embry turned on his heel, and I nearly crashed straight into him. He shook his head at me. "Billy already told the police that he didn't want them to do anything. No search party, no missing persons' report. Nothing. Can't they respect his wishes? I bet you this is that leech-lover's doing."

"Bella's?"

Embry screwed up his face at the name, holding back a string of profanities. "Yeah. Her."

"Does she know where he is?"

"I dunno. Maybe. Don't know who would tell her, though. Probably Billy. I don't see why she deserves to know, this is all her fault anyway." He took a deep breath to clear his head, then exhaled loudly, "I'm going to make sure Billy knows about this. But come on; let's not let this ruin our day."

I wasn't sure how this was going to ruin anything. For me, it was a new opening; a sudden discovery that I wasn't the only one who was looking for him, who would do anything to get him back. And, as we approached the water's edge, an idea started to take seed. It was time to pay a visit to Forks.

In summer, there was usually a van parked on the beach renting surf gear. Today, we lucked out. There were two. I looked apprehensively at the racks of surfboards protruding from the back of the two vans, comparing them as best I could. But Embry made the decision easy: he headed for the one that was nearer.

He'd obviously done this before, since he had no trouble picking out a board. I just stood and stared, even more confused than when we first got here.

"You've gotta pick a board that suits your height," he explained, "since you're quite a bit shorter than me..."

"Actually, I'm an inch bigger, last I checked," I grinned.

He laughed, and pulled out a board.

"And you're still growing; give it a couple of years... Although, I kinda like you the way you are."

I couldn't keep myself from beaming at him.

At that point, the dark, burly Quileute man who owned the van came around to where Embry and I stood with our respective boards.

"Wetsuits, boys?" he asked.

"No, we're fine," Embry replied, "just the boards."

"You sure? I know it seems warm today, but trust me, that Arctic current is cold all-year-round."

Embry shook his head.

"...You could get hypothermia. I'm tellin' you..."

"Just the boards, thanks," Embry retorted.

"Look, if you're short on cash, I could do you a deal for..."

Embry was starting to lose his patience. I caught the characteristic tremor as it travelled from his clenched fist, up through his arm.

"Hey, it's no problem," I intervened, "we'll give it a try without the wetsuits... if we get too cold, we'll come back for them, okay?"

"You won't last ten minutes in that water without suits on, guys."

"Then I guess we'll see you again in ten minutes," I said with a smile.

Embry forked out the money for the boards, and with them wedged under our arms, we made a line for the water's edge.

"Could you believe that guy?" he said, his lips pressed into a thin line.

"I just want to see the look on his face when we come back in a couple of hours, probably sweating."

Even Embry's tough-guy composure had to break at the thought of that.

I'd like to say I took to surfing like a fish to water, but it couldn't have been further from the truth. Embry spent a solid three quarters of an hour teaching me the basic strokes on the beach before he even let me get my toes wet. And I was glad he did. The techniques, which had seemed so straightforward on land, took on a whole different dimension when it came to doing them on a surface that heaved and undulated right under you.

I watched with awe as Embry, tall and slightly awkward on land, became a creature of fluid grace as he whizzed past me time and time again on the water. He rode the waves like a bird rides the wind: like it was a natural extension of him, a medium which he could command. I, on the other hand, became a master in falling over. If it wasn't for the tether which tied the board to my ankle, I would've lost three or four boards by now. I wasn't a terribly good swimmer either, and spent most of my time in the water battling against the waves, rather than getting back on the board.

Embry and I had paddled out for one more attempt. We went further out this time, to give me more time to get a foothold on the board before the wave broke and threw me over. On the way out, he was giving me pointers on how to stand up, balancing one foot at a time, and rising with my knees. I nodded at him with a head that was full of saltwater and disorientated from having been thrown over by one too many waves. This is the last one, I told myself, and then I'm getting out.

A swell came, and Embry yelled at me to start paddling hard. My arms were shorter than his, and I couldn't keep up with him. He raced off ahead of me. Within seconds, he was standing majestically atop his board. The waves delivered him, radiant and god-like, across the sparkling water, his wet body leaving a shimmering spray of droplets behind him.

I felt the rush of the wave beneath the board, and pulled my arms up under my chest. Onto my knees first, then planting one foot then the other. Still bent at the knees, I caught my balance. Then slowly, gradually, I stood up. It was like the first time I rode a bicycle. What had seemed impossible before seemed so natural now, and I couldn't believe it! I was actually doing it! I laughed out loud, even though no one could hear me. Embry glanced back and shot me a grin and an encouraging thumbs-up.

That's when I lost it. I wasn't looking straight ahead, and that's how I missed it coming at me: a cross-current from a wave receding from the beach. It slammed into the left side of my board, and flung me to the right. The next thing I knew, I was taking a huge gulp of saltwater. My head went under. The current caught my board, and tried to yank it away from me. But it was tied to my ankle, and I was being dragged along. I struggled for the light, for the surface. Something huge and white came at me...

WHAM! The board slammed into my chest. A thousand bubbles - my last breath of air - streamed up in front of my face. The board, bound to my ankle and caught in the clash of waves, had come straight back at me without warning. The need for air now was overwhelming. My lungs were burning, but my nostrils stung with seawater, reminding me not to breathe in. I fought my way towards the surface again, but the light disappeared, fading from my sight.

No, not fading - blocked, by some shadow. A long arm scooped into the water and dragged me out. Coughing and spluttering, I sucked in deep breaths of glorious air. Embry was paddling hard with one arm. He had me, and my board attached to me, grasped firmly in the other. We were in shallow water before I knew it, and he untied the board from my leg and carried me up to the shore. The pebbles were hard and bumpy against my back as he laid me down on them, but even still, I'd never been happier to be on dry land.

"I'm so sorry," he gasped.

I coughed out another mouthful of water. "It's okay... I'm alright."

"You sure? You were under for a while."

"Werewolf, remember?" I said weakly, and thumped my chest with my fist.

Embry laughed, and patted my shoulder.

"Embry? Seth?"

Embry looked up at the voice.

"Paul! Down here!"

The crunching of pebbles grew closer as Paul jogged over. His scent hit me hard - the only thing for a hundred yards that didn't reek of seaweed and salt. He'd been running, which only accentuated the smell.

"You guys alright?" he panted.

"Yeah, we're fine. Seth took a tumble in the surf."

"Shit, lil' bro, you okay?"

"I'm FINE!" I groaned. And I'm not little, I added silently.

Paul nodded quickly. "Sam wants you running right now," he hissed to Embry, "he'll fill you in when you're phased."

"Right now? Can't it wait?"

Something passed between them that I couldn't see, lying on my back as I was.

"Alright, I'll go," Embry said reluctantly. "Look after Seth for me? Get him home and all that."

"Yeah, sure," Paul nodded, "you'd better get moving."

Embry gave me a reassuring smile. "See you tonight, Seth," he called out as he crossed the road, and then disappeared into the trees to phase.

Paul helped me carry the two boards back up to the rental van. The owner wordlessly took them from him, all the while looking me up and down like I'd been tarred and feathered. I had to hold my laughter in until Paul and I were a good distance away.

"What was that about?" Paul asked.

"We didn't want to rent wetsuits," I grinned, "said we didn't need them."

"Shit, kiddo!" Paul laughed. "What happened to keeping a low profile?"

I shrugged. "Gotta have a bit of fun every now and again."

We were back on the main stretch of First Beach now, heading for the shower block so that I could rinse off.

"I'll just be a minute," I said as I darted inside.

"Yeah, I'll wait out here," Paul nodded. He sat on one of the sawn-in-half logs that separated the car park from the beach, watching the passers-by. In typical Paul fashion, though, he ended up looking like he was glaring at them, and most people took to walking on the gravelly beach rather than have to pass in front of him.

The shower block was a small rendered brick cube that had borne the brunt of years of wind rolling in from across the Pacific. Inside, a long wooden bench with hooks above it lined one wall, and about ten cubicles with toilets and showers filled the opposite side. The showers didn't have doors, which didn't matter anyway, because most people just came in here to change quickly or rinse off. The shower at the end of the row was running, and I chose another booth somewhere in the middle.

"You go first."

"No! You first! It was your idea."

"Both at the same time, then?"

"Yeah, alright..."

Two whispered voices echoed off the tiled walls, and my werewolf hearing caught the hushed exchange.

Wait. Two voices...?

I tiptoed out of my booth, down the row of cubicles. I was right - there was only one shower running, and both the voices were coming from the same stall. The sound of splashing water garbled the words. Or maybe they just weren't saying much. I ducked into the second-last cubicle, hanging out for more.

"Dude... that looks so cool."

"Okay? You've seen it now, so can I..."

"Wait! Just a second..."

There was something familiar about the voices that I couldn't put my finger on. I risked a look around the corner.

What I saw then made me gasp, and the two boys looked up at the sound. Within a half-second, I recognized their faces.

It was Collin and Brady; two boys from my grade at school. Their board shorts were pulled open at the fly, young hard-ons poking out.

"Crap!" Collin yelped, trying to stuff his junk back into his shorts. Brady was speechless, just covering himself and looking at me with wide, shocked eyes.

"Shit guys! I'm... fuck, I'm sorry!" I spun on my heel to go, but lost my footing on the wet tiles. For a moment, the world spun; then there was a sharp THWACK! The pain didn't even register until the warm blood was trickling down the side of my skull.

Ow.

"Clearwater?" Brady's baffled voice wafted over me. "Seth Clearwater?" I nodded weakly. "Are you alright?" I got asked for the second time today.

"Yeah, fine," I croaked, and clambered back onto my feet. I could feel my head already starting to heal. Their shorts were done up now, and they were looking at me with slightly sheepish expressions.

"You won't tell anyone, will you?" Brady asked.

"Sorry, I must've bumped my head pretty hard... tell anyone what?" I said with a wry smile.

Brady exhaled with relief, but there was still something burning in Collin's eyes.

"I don't trust him," he spat.

"What? He just said he'd..." Brady began.

"He'll tell his gang. Those older guys he hangs out with? He'll tell them. He thinks he's better than us."

I started to protest...

"Or he'll tell his boyfriend. Where's he now, huh, Clearwater? Did you scare him off?" Collin continued to taunt me.

"Boyfriend?" Brady looked at him, puzzled.

"Yeah, didn't you know?" Collin sneered, "He's with that guy from Junior year... the one who's gone missing? What's his name...? John, Jack...?"

"Jacob," I said through clenched teeth.

"Yeah, that's the one."

Brady stared at me, unsure of what to make of the revelation. I thought I caught a look of awe and respect for a half-second, before he blinked it away.

"Col, if he's with that gang... I dunno if I wanna mess with him," Brady said.

"They're not so great. What're they gonna do to us? Anyway, I think I know a way to even the score. He's seen ours, so I think it's only fair..." Collin said snidely, "...if we see his."

Collin was slightly taller than me, but of course, not even a fraction as strong. All the same, when he grabbed my arms and pulled them around my back, I figured I would just go with it. In my head, I was laughing as I feigned a struggle. This could actually turn out to be fun. And if things got out of hand, I knew I'd be able to get myself out of it. Besides, Paul was waiting right outside.

Brady yanked my shorts down. This time, I was sure I saw a look of awe and respect.

"Holy fuck!" he swore, "Collin, you've gotta see this."

Collin released me roughly, and I stumbled for a second, my legs still tangled in my shorts.

"No WAY..." Collin's eyes shot up to meet mine, and then back down at my junk. He wrestled the astonishment out of his expression, rearranging it into a look of scorn. "Fucking freak!"

"Hey Seth!" Paul's voice boomed off the tiled walls. "What the hell's taking you so long?" The two boys froze in fear as Paul rounded the corner and stopped short at the sight. He flicked me a "what-the-fuck?" look, and then quickly collected his wits.

"Dude, this is NOT the time or place for show and tell," he said as he started striding towards me.

"Sorry Paul, I was just..."

He was standing right in front of me now, staring me straight in the eye.

"Sam's not going to be happy when he hears about this," he grumbled.

My face grew hot, but not before Paul slipped me a sly wink. He had a plan.

"But I won't tell him... if..." he mused.

"If what?" I whimpered, letting some hysteria steal into my voice, "shit, Paul! I don't want Sam to be mad at me; please, don't tell him! What do you want? I'll do anything!"

"...anything?" His eyes flashed with lust. They glided down my torso, burning with the repressed hunger from months of sharing Jake's fantasies. The warmth of his body pressed against my rising hard-on.

"You two, out!" he snapped.

I glanced over his shoulder at Collin and Brady, staring at us, wide- eyed.

"NOW!" he bellowed.

They scampered away, slipping on the wet tiled floor as they went. I cracked a smile as Brady snuck a final glance back, before the two of them were out of sight. Paul smirked at me.

"Well that worked..." I said, but was quickly silenced by him.

"Shh!" he shushed me, and then added in the quietest of voices, "they're still hiding around the corner."

"Really?" Listening hard, I could make out both their manic heartbeats mere feet away, just inside the door, behind the partitioning wall.

Paul pushed me down onto the bench, and rubbed the front of his cut- off denim shorts as he leaned into me.

"Go down on me, bitch," he commanded in an artificially stern voice. I bit my lip to keep from sniggering, and he was having trouble keeping a straight face himself.

"Get fucked."

"No, huh? It's just you and me, Clearwater. You don't have to pretend. Your boyfriend's been gone a while, bro. Bet you're getting pretty hungry for some dick to suck." I pulled a face at him, but he urged me to play along. "So here, I'll let you taste mine. I think I'm being pretty generous to a little cock-smoker like you."

He undid the button of his shorts, and then slid his fly down, gradually revealing dark pubes and a long, slender rod.

"Go ahead. You know you wanna."

I wrapped my hand around it, palming it slowly.

"Yeah, that's it... you like it? Huh, kid? It's a nice one, huh?"

I rolled my eyes at him. I was completely boned by this point, and started jerking myself as well.

"Ooh... yeah, boy," he moaned, playing it up, "come on. Suck it for me."

I didn't want to seem too eager. It was all about drawing out the suspense for our two spectators. So I took my time in pushing his cut-offs down to below his knees, all the while still rubbing him. I drew closer to him, my open mouth waiting as I tried to look indecisive.

"Come ON, Seth! Are you gonna do it or what?"

One strong hand gripped the back on my head, the other the base of his cock. He started to force the two together. Now it looked like I had no choice. I guided it between my lips.

"Shit!" I heard one of the boys whisper, and the other quickly shut him up. I was afraid to look over; in case they caught on to the fact that we knew they were there. I glanced up towards Paul. His eyes were blazing, nostrils flaring as he tried to slide more of his nine inches into my mouth. He was fighting a dilemma - to give in to the burning desire spurred on by Jake's fantasies, or to not give away the game we were playing with Collin and Brady.

In the end, the game won out. He pulled his cock out, slapping the side of my face a couple of times with it as he did. Then he yanked me to my feet so suddenly that my head spun. His hands were hot on my skin, his breath like desert wind. Kicking off his shorts, he dragged me into the last booth, under the still-running shower. The water almost seemed to turn to steam as it struck his body. Dark hair matted over his fierce eyes. He leaned up against the wall, and I ground into him, my hand never leaving his dripping tool.

"Think they fell for it?" I asked.

"Well, they're coming this way," he grinned. He pushed strands of wet hair off my face. "Better get back to it, huh?"

I dropped to my knees and started sucking him again. His fingers wove their way through my hair, urging me on. The boys must've come within hearing range, because Paul started up his rambling again.

"Yeah... that's the shit... suck it," he moaned. "Come on, deeper, man! I know you can do it... you're a natural."

Sure enough, the boys were just in the next stall, where I'd been hiding before. I could only just hear the rasp of Velcro as the flies of their board shorts came undone. Paul's eyes were shut now; his head slumped back against the wall. As far as they knew, we were blind to them. Now it was only a matter of offering the bait that would lure them in.

"Oh... oh, God Seth... Fuck man! What are you doing?" Paul cried out sensually.

I was doing nothing different at all, just watching him for the signal.

"Urggghh... oh yeah," he groaned even louder, "no-one's ever done that to me before... feels so good, man! Arrrhhh! Feels so... fucking... good!"

That was all it took. The boys couldn't resist peeking around the corner.

Paul's eyes flashed open, and the predators' grin flooded his expression.

"Hey, you two!" he yelled.

Their heartbeats and breathing quickened in their chests, and they tried to make a run for it. They were fast. Paul and I were faster.

I had Brady by the waist, not that he was putting up much of a fight. Paul, on the other hand, had a struggling Collin's neck gripped firmly in the crook of his elbow.

"'They're not so great', huh?" Paul's mocking voice was like a red-hot brand in Collin's ear, "'what are they gonna do to us', huh? I'll show you what we fucking do to little shits like you!"

"Paul, calm down!" I hissed.

Brady gave me a worried look over his shoulder, and I realized that my hard-on was grinding against his butt as I kept him restrained. I looked away.

"Fuck 'em, Seth!" Paul guffawed, "they want this bad, don't you boys?"

Collin gave no reaction. But I could feel Brady's heart race even faster, almost smell the adrenaline coursing through his veins.

Paul let go of Collin, who crumpled to his knees, choking. Paul circled around to the front of the boy, between him and the exit.

"All yours, Collin," he said, "I'm waiting."

The smaller boy tried to stand up, but Paul grabbed him by the neck in a split-second, guiding him back down onto his knees.

"Wrong answer. Try again."

I couldn't see Collin's face, but I could hear the breath hissing between his teeth, clenched with indecision.

"Hey Brady," I whispered, too quiet for Collin to hear. Paul twitched, but he didn't let on that he, too, could hear me. "There's no point fighting us, so just go along with it, okay?" I loosened my hold on him, and slid one hand into his half-open fly. He tensed up. "We won't tell anyone, I promise... we won't hurt you either. You kinda want this, don't you?"

He nodded, and turned his head as far as he could to look at me. His eyes were filled with a mixture of fear and excitement, anxiety and eagerness.

I grinned at him. Freeing his young boy-meat from his shorts, I started to stroke him. I didn't have to restrain him now, and my other hand roamed freely across his smooth chest. I found his nipple and toyed with it.

"Ah!... Ohhhh..." he sighed.

Collin heard, and both he and Paul looked over. I snuck a glance at Collin's stunned face, and then started tracing my tongue across the rim of Brady's ear. Brady turned to jelly in my arms.

Paul smirked at me. "See?" he said to Collin, "nothing to it. We're just here to have fun, kiddo."

The apprehension on Collin's face was still plain to see, and I shook my head slightly at Paul. While Paul probably wasn't beyond forcing these guys into doing something they didn't want to, I knew there were easier ways into a teenage boy's pants.

My touch lingered on the end of Brady's stiff rod. My breath caressed his ear, and the slightest shiver travelled up his spine. He was reaching back towards me, groping, searching for my cock. I took his smooth, wet hand and guided it to its prize. His cool fingers wrapped around it, just savoring the thickness, the heat of it. I whispered into his ear.

"Whaddaya say we help loosen your friend up a bit?"

His eyes, confused and fearful, darted to meet mine. I grinned back at him.

Breaking Brady and I up, I went over to Collin and hoisted him up by the shoulders. His whole body was tense; he was fighting a deep interior battle... but we were about to make the choice a lot simpler for him. With Paul's help, I lifted him up so that he was standing on the bench. The question didn't even get to leave his tongue before he realized why he was up there, what he was now in the perfect position for us to do.

I pressed my lips against the smooth, round head of Collin's hardening cock.

The breath whooshed out of him, his flat stomach tightening to reveal the beginnings of abs under his creamy-brown skin. I beckoned Brady over. My hand was idly jerking Collin now, and I offered his beautifully shaped rod to Brady. The two boys' eyes met momentarily; just time enough to read each others' nervousness, and then Brady took Collin's cock between three trembling fingers.

Paul chuckled behind me, the sound resonating off the walls. I started rubbing Brady's back, encouraging him, egging him on as he got used to the feeling of another boy's hard-on on his hand.

"Ever done this before?" I asked him.

"No," he swallowed, "never."

"You're doing great."

Collin moaned in agreement.

"You've got a really nice one, Col," Brady smiled up at his friend.

"Thanks, Bray," he replied, "your hand feels awesome on it..."

"Know what'd feel even better?" I hinted.

Brady looked over at me. He had a pretty good idea what. I only had to give him that final push. Hesitantly, he stuck his tongue out and licked Collin's shaft.

"Ugh... fuck!" Collin gasped.

I searched Brady's face for any sign of apprehension. There was none. He went for it again; this time sliding an inch of his friend's gorgeous cock into his mouth.

'Man!' I thought, 'this is going to take forever!'

Paul apparently had the same thought, because his hand was soon on the back of my head, pushing me towards Collin's crotch. I got the hint pretty quickly, and started lapping at his rock-hard tool. The feeling of not one, but two tongues bathing his rod was almost too much for him. He leaned back into the wall, head thrown back, fingers dragging across the slick tiles.

Emboldened by my actions, Brady started working more and more of Collin's shaft, doing laps up and down the smooth tube from the wet, matted hair at the base to the perfectly defined head. I watched for a moment, stunned as he licked that cock, covered in my saliva. Then I was back on it as well, the two of us fighting for territory on either side of Collin's rock-hard pole. We couldn't help getting the occasional taste of each other as we worked our way from base to tip. Our hungry tongues met as the lean boy-meat that had separated them tapered off and, as if it was the next logical step, Brady pushed his tongue into my mouth.

With our lips still brushing Collin's pulsing cock, Brady pulled me into a hard, long kiss. His hand took over where our mouths had left off, jacking Collin's spit-slicked boner. He started breathing harder through his nostrils, fighting down a sound in his throat until he couldn't bear it any more.

"Ahhhgggghhh... fuck!" he finally cried out loud, his bottom lip still rasping at mine. I pressed my lips to his again, fighting through his grunts and moans.

"Unnngghh... oh... jeez..." he groaned. His eyes squinted shut and his mouth fell open for air. I pulled him back to me, and my cock brushed something I wasn't expecting. What the fuck? I looked down. Paul was on his knees, sucking hungrily on Brady's aching rod. And knowing Paul, Brady was getting the blowjob of a lifetime. I trailed my fingers through Paul's wet hair, and he turned to grin at me. Without warning, he swooped down on my cock, sealing his lips tightly around it before I could even buckle at the knees.

He didn't miss a beat. His other hand got straight to beating off a stunned-faced Brady. Collin's throbbing meat was still between us, and Brady took it back into his mouth with relish. I felt Paul's lips slide part- way off my cock, and a moment later a whimper of pleasure escaped Brady's throat as his cock joined mine inside Paul's warm mouth. My cock was being pleasured from every angle; Paul's eager tongue and Brady's slick tool rubbed and nudged and swirled around it until I no longer knew which was which. Some sight we must've been, Collin with two mouths on his cock, and Paul with two cocks in his mouth.

Brady must've been feeling the same thing, because soon he was no longer able to concentrate on sucking Collin. His eyes glazed over, his breathing quickened... and then the inside of Paul's mouth grew even warmer and wetter as Brady blew his load. Paul churned the thick cum around both our cocks. I held Brady up as the last shudders wracked his body, his breathing turned into gasps of "oh, fuck... oh, fuck".

Collin stared down at us, wide-eyed and panting from the sight of his friend shooting a wad into another dude's mouth. He was on edge, in desperate need of release. I went for his cock one more time, but Brady shoved me away, hungry for the feeling of Collin's beautiful dick in his mouth again.

Even Paul had stopped blowing me now. He stood up, wiping his mouth as we watched the two horny young buddies. Collin had his hands on the back of Brady's head, pumping that beautiful fuck-stick of his down the boy's throat. Brady's hand was on his own dick, already hard again just from the hot sounds his friend was making.

"Oh man... Fuck, Bray, I'm gonna cum!" Collin moaned.

Brady's looked up impishly at him, their desire for each other sparking the air between them.

"Ughhhh... fuck!"

Then Collin was cumming down Brady's throat. The two boys were shuddering in sync, as though the force of the orgasm was so strong it was tearing through both their bodies at once. Only then did I notice that Brady was cumming again, long ropes of his teenage boy-juice hanging off his dick and hand. Spent, Collin dropped down to the bench, and Brady sat next to him. He put an arm around Collin's shoulder and his lips began working their way across his friend's glistening wet skin until they met Collin's, and the boys pulled each other into a steamy kiss.

They were still panting, staring into each others' eyes, with Collin grasping a handful of Brady's wet hair, when Paul cleared his throat conspicuously. I guess they'd forgotten we were here, because fear quickly flashed across both their faces. Brady was trembling as he wiped his cum-covered hand on his thigh.

"Guys, don't worry, we won't tell anyone. You're safe," Paul said.

The dread in their faces was quickly replaced by something else. Wildness grew in their eyes. They shared a quick grin and then were up and pouncing at us. Sure, Paul and I could easily have fought them back, but it was hard to resist when your cock was quickly disappearing into a boy's eager mouth.

Brady was struggling with my length, but he was still doing an amazing job. I smoothed his dripping hair out of his face so I could watch as he brought me closer and closer to the edge. Next to me, Paul was more forceful as he face-fucked Collin with his lean rod. It didn't take long until both of us were fighting down the cries building in our chests. I looked over at Paul in time to see his brow creasing as he licked his lips and drew his palms over his taught chest.

"Fucking... bad idea..." he whispered through labored breaths, low enough that only I could hear him.

"What... Whaddaya mean?" I hissed back.

"Sam's... oh fuck... not gonna be happy."

"He's not...? Why wouldn't...?"

"'Cos we're... initiating..."

It clicked.

"Shit! Oh, no! Paul... uggghhh... we can't... we gotta..." but it was no use. Paul's muscles tightened as spasms rocked his whole body, draining his werewolf-making jizz straight down Collin's throat. Watching him cum, I knew I couldn't hold back either. My toes dug into the grout between the tiles, and I cursed my stupidity as I filled Brady's mouth with my own life-altering seed. By the time my body stopped shaking, the two boys were standing again, grinning at us.

"You guys are fucking hot," Brady beamed, "thanks!"

"Yeah, thanks guys," Collin chimed in. "That was so awesome!"

They hopped back into their board shorts and took one last look at us, still standing there, our jaws dropped. Then they laughed to each other, patted each other on the back, and raced out into the sunshine.

Paul turned slowly towards me.

"We are so screwed."

It was only a matter of time, then, until Sam found out. The next time Paul phased, whoever he was with was sure to catch a glimpse of what we'd just done. Unless Paul didn't think about it... but how do you push a memory like that from your mind? The next time someone mentioned me, Paul was sure to find his mind wandering back. Just imagining sitting in Sam's house with the rest of the pack, I could already feel their judging stares burning down at me... Sam's temper rising as he heard about how we'd broken the code. The hungry gleam in the other boys' eyes as they started thinking of ways to punish us.

That's why I knew I couldn't stay. Paul muttered something about heading over to Sam's, all the while scratching the back of his neck while rolling a smooth pebble back and forth across the concrete sidewalk with his bare foot. I made some piss-weak excuse about having to be home. We both gave a nervous laugh.

"Okay, see you then."

"Yeah, laters."

I strolled along the beach in the direction of home, taking my time while waiting for Paul to wander out of sight. The instant he was gone, I changed directions, breaking into a run. My new route crossed Paul's, but if I took a shortcut, I could cut ahead of him and he'd never see me. I sprinted across backyards, jumping the odd fence and skirting around the sides of buildings. Just as I planned, I overtook Paul long before he even got to the main stretch of houses. The familiar house was on my right, and I made my way around it, down the slope, to the small garage on the forest's edge. I shook the doorknob - locked, as expected. I didn't think anyone had been here for weeks.

So I did what I'd been taught to do: grab the doorknob, lean against the wall next to the doorpost. A slight gap appeared as the timber walls creaked under my strength. I pushed harder on the door, and it opened.

The air inside was damp and dusty. I coughed slightly, and swept aside the cobweb that caught on my face. A large tarp covered the Rabbit in the centre of the space. I scanned the shadows which seemed to pool in the corners, shirking away from the sudden, intruding sunlight. There, next to a pile of engine parts - a motorcycle, gone unused and unwanted since its owner returned it, never wanting to see the damn thing again. It was Bella's bike, and I was going to take it back to her.

It took me a while to find the key. Jake had never actually told me where he'd put it, I just knew the hiding place from his memories. They were in the bottom of a container of screws and bolts, that I knew, but there were about two dozen of those on the shelves above the bike alone. I started looking, and lucked out at number nineteen. The maker's mark on the head of these particular bolts read "B.S." - Bella Swan. I rolled my eyes. Jake's idea of being clever. Sure enough, I found the key at the bottom.

I'd only ridden a motorbike a couple of times, when Jake took me out on short spins, but it couldn't have been that hard, right? Anyway, anything Jake could do, I could do. Well, that was the theory at least. After a couple of bad starts, and a lot of unhealthy-looking smoke, I kicked the stand back on the growling beast of a machine. I had to get out of there quick, before Billy heard the noise and came to see what was going on.

The feeling was exhilarating - once I got the hang of it. It wasn't as fast as running as a wolf, but it was a whole different kind of feeling, having this angry-sounding machine between my legs. The whole point of not phasing was so that Jake wouldn't see me going to Forks. Not that he'd be able to physically stop me, anyway. But he would try to guilt me out of going, or worse, order me not to go. And I wouldn't be able to say no to that. He'd find out later, of course, but hopefully by then he would see why I needed to go, why I needed to get answers.

The wind rushed through my hair and beat against my chest. Fun as it was, riding a motorcycle in nothing but shorts; I figured that in the interest of at least trying to look safe, I'd stop by my house for jeans, a T- shirt, and a pair of shoes. Then I took off down the highway. The short stretch that separated La Push and Forks was winding. Thick foliage obscured anything that could be speeding towards you at each and every corner. It already took all my concentration to ride this thing, let alone pay attention to the road. I didn't need any distractions. But still they came, scattered here and there at first, then quickly becoming like a howling gale that I couldn't ignore. Each one a fresh slap in the face. "HAVE YOU SEEN THIS BOY?" flyers on every telephone pole, taped to every sign. They glowed in brilliant sunshine, and I found myself choking down tears, forcing my eyes to stay focused on the road in front of me... doing all I could to keep from becoming another statistic in Chief Swan's books.

I'd never actually been to Bella's house. But I took the turns as though I'd driven this route a thousand times, like some part of me knew where I was going. I guess, in a way, I did. And when the whitewashed timber house appeared around the bend, I didn't need the red truck parked in front of it to know that I'd come to the right place. I was ready to knock on the door, but Bella beat me there.

"...Seth?" Her face fell. "I'm sorry; I heard the motorcycle and thought that..."

"Sorry, Bella," I said, "it's only me."

She did her best to smile.

"No, it's okay," she laughed a little, "it's good to see any of you guys again. Look, I'd invite you in but..." she stepped outside and clicked the door shut behind her, "Edward and Alice are here. Wedding plans."

Sure enough, a sporty yellow car that looked a million bucks too fancy for Forks was parked further up the street, its windows tinted close to black against today's harsh sun. And I could smell the burnt-sugar sickly sweetness wafting off her hair.

"Alice must be wondering where you've suddenly disappeared to," I grinned.

"Edward can probably hear you. I'm the only one who doesn't know anything that's going on around here."

"Nuh-uh," I said, "I only found out about this wedding yesterday."

She winced. "Yeah, sorry about that. I wasn't really intending on inviting anyone from the Rez. Nothing personal, I just thought that..."

She blinked at me half a dozen times in quick succession.

"...wait. Then how did you find out?"

Oops.

"I, uh... overheard Billy..."

Bella shook her head. "We haven't told Billy yet."

Why did I have to be such a crappy liar?

"Alright; there was this invitation at Jake's house and..."

"...an invitation?"

The door opened behind Bella, and a figure even paler than her emerged. Even in the shade, the reflected sunlight made his chalky skin shimmer in an otherworldly way.

"Seth, what a nice surprise," he said in a velvety voice.

"Hey Edward!" I replied, turning my attention completely to him, "what's up?"

His gaze turned skyward for an instant before he picked up on the figure of speech.

"Enjoying the peace," he smiled, "and I expect that our Quileute allies are doing the same?"

He knew very well that we were on full alert. I just nodded.

"How nice for you. Bella? Alice would like your opinion on the cake frosting. Our judgment on that particular matter is not as reliable as yours." He took her hand and kissed it lightly, and I watched as she melted like warm butter under his touch.

The flash of reflected sunlight was what caught my eye. The heart dangling from the thin silver chain on her wrist was dazzling, clear like glass, but infinitely more complex in the way it threw a thousand rainbows of light in every direction. It was so brilliant, in fact, that I nearly missed its tiny, unassuming companion. Hanging a few links down on the same chain was a wolf, delicately carved from a reddish- brown wood that I could only describe as being the same color as my own skin. The detail on it was so fine that I could make out the grain of the fur along its arched back, the definition on its muzzle as it howled at some far-away, invisible moon.

Just seeing it opened a floodgate of dream-like memories, hazy and undecipherable. I felt a rush of heat from deep inside me - reminiscent of overheated, sleepless nights, of Emily pressing a cool washcloth against my feverish forehead... of Jake sitting on the floor at my feet, turning a minuscule piece of wood between his fingers in the firelight.

"Where did you get that?" I asked. Bella froze, and I reached over and tapped the tiny charm.

"This?" she said, "Jake made it for me. For my graduation."

"And I gave her the heart," Edward added, "a token representing my heart, which belongs eternally to her."

Oh yeah; the heart was cool, hard, glittery... expensive looking. So Edward, I laughed to myself. He heard my thoughts, and chuckled.

"I've seen one just like it..." I said, turning my attention back to the wolf. I was still having trouble recalling anything more than just cloudy images. But I shook the thought out of my head. "No... no, I must be imagining things. It's really cool, that he made that just for you."

"I know," she sighed, "he did so much for me, Seth... I didn't deserve a friend as good as him. All... all I ever did was hurt him. I wish he could just find some way to move on..."

I took quick breath, so I could speak up. But Edward's eyes were suddenly boring through me, and it didn't take a mind-reader to know that he wanted me to keep quiet.

"It's funny..." Bella continued, "that was why I couldn't even bring myself to invite him to the wedding... I didn't want to make him feel like he HAD to be there, 'cos that'd just hurt him even more... and now that he's gone, I don't even get a choice."

"Wait, you didn't invite him?" I blinked at her.

She shook her head.

I thought, then who...?

Behind her, Edward's stony expression shifted ever so slightly.

"No," he said, "I did."

Bella and I both turned to look at him, stunned.

"I thought it was the proper thing to do, to extend an olive branch to Jacob. If things had gone the other way, I would've wanted the choice."

Bella's confused frown turned into a reluctant smile. "You really did that?"

"Yes," Edward said, "I'm sorry for going behind your back, Bella, love... and," he turned to me, "I'm inexpressibly sorry for the resulting damage my gesture has caused, to you and to the pack."

"What do you mean?" Bella asked.

Well, I'd come here to tell her the reason why Jake ran away, to find out why she would hurt him like that... but now that it turned out it wasn't her fault, what could I say? Luckily, Edward stepped in.

"It seems that hearing of the wedding caused Jacob such pain that he needed to escape the reminders of his life here."

"Oh... oh my God," Bella choked out, "Jake ran away because of me?"

Edward put a comforting arm around her shoulder.

"I... oh, God, I'm so sorry Seth," she continued, her hand pressed against her throat, "I had no idea that... he said he was fine! We said our goodbyes; I thought that we were... I never... Seth, believe me, I really, really, didn't want things to turn out like this,"

"Hey, it's okay Bella," I said, "S'cool. Everything will work out. It always does."

She nodded slightly, but I could see the pools gathering in her eyes now. "Sorry... I've got..." she started to sob, "I've got to go back inside... Alice is waiting... It was nice seeing you, Seth." She looked out at Edward again before disappearing into the house, tears beginning to stream down her face.

There was an awkward silence.

I thought for a minute about what I'd really come here to tell Bella, how the most important part of what I had to say didn't get said. I didn't mean to upset her, just to make sure she knew all the facts. I guess now wasn't a good time, though.

Edward smiled knowingly. "Now is definitely not a good time. I know you really want to tell her, but I think that in this particular case, it is Jacob's secret to share."

Yeah. He had a point.

"The two of them have an interesting relationship. You of all people should know what I mean. I think it's best if we leave them to work things out in the way that best suits them. You wear your heart on your sleeve, Seth, and I admire that; but not everyone does... or can."

"Alright," I said, "I won't say anything."

"Thank you. I'm sure Jacob will appreciate that too." His deep golden eyes stared through me for a moment, and I could only guess at the thoughts he was reading in my head. Then he laughed. "I wasn't prying, Seth, I was just thinking... I would actually like you to be at the wedding; you and your mother."

My jaw dropped.

"Wh... why? I mean, wow... thanks! But why?"

"As a token of our alliance with the Quileutes," he answered, "and, in all honesty, I consider you a friend. It would honor me greatly if you would be there. Also, I think Bella would appreciate some part of Jacob's life to be present. A bigger part than she knows, but that can be our little secret."

I smiled, and my throat caught a little at the sentiment, "Awww... thanks Edward!" I wanted to hug him, but the part of me that was shouting "AH! VAMPIRE!" was already hard enough to suppress. "I'll have to ask Jake, though. See what he thinks."

"Of course. I'll have to ask Bella as well; no more surprises for her. But I hope to see you there."

"Wouldn't miss it... buddy."

The ride home felt easier, somehow. It was like a great weight had been lifted off me, even though I couldn't put my finger on what exactly had changed. I guess I knew where everyone stood now, and everything made more sense, now that things were out in the open. Then something popped back into my mind: the wolf on Bella's bracelet. I'd almost forgotten! I started ruminating over it again, thinking and thinking about where I'd seen something like it...

A huge black shape looming in the side mirror ground my train of thought to a halt. I nearly careened off the road. My heart racing, my palms sweating on the handle grips, I regained control as another wolf appeared in the opposite mirror, getting closer fast. It was only Sam and Embry. I must've just crossed the treaty line. Sam was gaining on me at an incredible speed, but wasn't quite able to catch up. I slowed until he could keep pace by the bike's side. He turned to me, and snarled.

"What's up?" I yelled over the roar of the engine.

He jerked his head to the right, urging me to pull over. So I did. The bike ground up onto the gravel, and I kicked the stand down. I'd barely dismounted when Sam charged up to me. He raised his hand, and an unfathomable expression crossed his face.

"Sam, don't!" Embry yelled from further down the road. He jogged towards us.

"What the fuck did you think you were doing?" Sam roared. Flecks of his spit struck me. He drew a deep breath, and then glared at me with deep disdain. "You smell like one of THEM."

"I went to see Bella. I didn't know that he'd be there."

"You have NO IDEA what kind of danger is out here right now... We're working overtime to keep the pack safe and then you go and blow it..."

Embry had caught up to us now.

"Seth, it's great to see you're okay, man," he interrupted, "Sam, he's okay, see? He's not hurt, and that's all that matters. Come on, let's go home."

"He's going to fucking BE hurt in a second if he doesn't tell me what the hell's going on!" Sam barked.

"Alright!" I yelled back, "I went to see Bella 'cos I had this whole thing planned out where I was gonna tell her that Jake ran away because of her!"

"He didn't know until yesterday, Sam," Embry offered.

Sam looked at me, the anger melting off his stern face.

"Shit... you didn't know? Really?" he asked.

I shook my head.

"I found the wedding invitation in Billy's house, and I couldn't believe that Jake would react this badly over something she'd done. I'd thought... he was over her, you know, and we could finally move on. But after I found that invitation, I had to find out myself what was really going on. So I went down there to get her side of the story... and it all fell apart 'cos she didn't know it was her fault either."

Sam was sucking in deep breaths through flaring nostrils, trying to make sense of it all. A car whizzed past, and I wondered what they thought of the two naked guys cornering a much younger boy with a stolen motorcycle behind him. In a better world, someone would've called the police.

"Where did you go?" Sam asked. Here we go again, no bullshit.

"Bella's house," I replied promptly.

"Not the... Cullens'?"

"No, Sam."

"Did she say anything about them... changing... her?"

"Nothing," I said, "only about the wedding."

He paused, digesting the information.

"Were any of them there?"

"Edward and Alice."

Sam cursed under his breath. "Then they know everything."

"He only hears what I'm thinking at the time. And I trust him, he'll keep our secrets. He said he would."

Sam let out a laugh unlike anything I'd ever heard before. Behind him, Embry clenched his fists nervously. He didn't like where this was going.

"Trusting bloodsuckers," Sam chuckled darkly, "you've got so much to learn, Seth."

I started to say something in my defense, but Embry shook his head. I quickly shut my mouth.

"We came looking for you, after Paul... 'showed' us what you two had been up to this afternoon. But you weren't home, and nobody knew where you were, not Paul, not Leah, not your mother. I had to send the whole pack to search for you," Sam said. I winced. "I know I can't give you direct orders, Seth. But you've got to listen to me when I tell you to stay on the Rez."

"Why? What's out here that you guys can handle that I can't?"

Sam ignored my question, choosing to turn away instead. I tried again.

"'Cos, you know, I thought I did a pretty good job of proving myself when I fought Riley."

Sam had nothing to say to that. His lips pressed into a line.

"Yeah, thought so. So put me back on the rounds, Sam. Let me help the pack. I can do this, okay? Just give me the chance."

Sam shook his head dismally. "That stunt you pulled with Paul today just goes to show that we can't let you out of our sight. I... I can't even START to think of a punishment for the two of you." He exhaled slowly. "Alright, starting tonight, you're back on the rounds. If you're lucky, I'll let you pay off your forfeits that way. Otherwise..." the hungry grin spread across his face, "...you'd better be sleeping with one eye open."

Running again. After so long away from it, the world at night seemed like another reality. The sounds, the smells, even seeing everything by moonlight... it set my mind ablaze. Add to that the fact that I hadn't used my wolf senses in weeks, and I was pinching myself every few minutes just as a reminder that this wasn't a movie. This was real.

The silence, though, was unreal. There was nothing, just so much nothing. No Embry, no Sam, no Jared or Paul or Quil. Not even Jake. I couldn't hear the rest of the pack since Jake ran away, meaning he renounced Sam as Alpha and severed the psychic ties between the two packs. And Jake, wherever he was, was fast asleep. I watched his dreams, strangely enough. I didn't think that wolves could dream, but the human buried deep inside his subconscious did. They played out in our linked minds; some were little more than swirls of color, fading in and out of the blackness. Others were more vivid, like snippets of home-made videos, shaky and grainy, with bits missing here and there. But I found that if I focused on one enough, it began to play out more fully, fleshed out by my own memories, until it became a sort of conversation between his sub- conscious and mine, reminiscing about the past.

I drew the images out, like a wisp of smoke from a blown-out candle, hanging tantalizingly in my mind's eye until they slowly disintegrated into thin air. There were dreams of our nights on the couch: throwing handfuls of popcorn at each other. Dreams of chilly mornings on the beach: him limping along with his crutches, me shirtless and sweating after just returning from a night's run. And one dream that caught my attention so fully that I almost stopped running, just so I could concentrate harder on it, brushing the black fog off its hazy, shapeless forms.

Two wolves, each just like the one I'd seen on Bella's bracelet, howling at a moon so bright, so clear, it didn't seem real in that sky. Of course, it wasn't real. It gleamed in a kind of changing light... the firelight reflecting off the circle of white shell, a moon inlaid into a piece of finely- carved wood. I saw myself, through Jake's eyes, sleeping on Sam's couch; half-draped off the edge, a thin blanket across my waist preserving my modesty. Jake continued to sand at the edges of the hardwood box lid, making the join so seamless, so fine, that only the strongest but nimblest fingers would be able to pry it open again, once it was closed. Made for my hands only.

Then everything rushed forward faster, like road signs you couldn't fully read while you sped down a highway. I grasped at the images, the words, the sounds, anything...

"...made it for you..."

The box in my hands, dexterous fingers easily sliding the lid open.

"...on Mount Ranier... gonna take you there. Run with me!"

The forest tumbling all around us... the stars watching over our playful chase up a mountainside.

"...see...? ...the moon..."

A brilliant full moon in the diamond-studded velvet of the sky.

"...look up and remember that I'm looking at the same moon... wherever I am..."

His voice breaking up, fading away...

"...always with you... don't forget that..."

These weren't things he'd remembered. These were things he'd always dreamt about doing, but never got around to. Things that were still haunting him, in his dreams, even after he'd surrendered his entire conscious mind to the wolf's instincts. And I knew now what he was telling me to do.

It was dawn, the end of my shift. Dawn came earlier now, in the summer, so it was probably too early for me to be finishing. Six a.m. was the official changeover time, but I couldn't very well wear a watch, could I? Embry was taking over from me, but with no psychic link to ensure the changeover happened without a hitch, I'd arranged to meet him outside his house at sunrise.

He was sitting on the steps in his boxer shorts when I got there.

I loped up to him, tongue wagging as I panted from the effort of running. He ran his hands through my fur.

"Hey Seth, how'd you go?"

I pulled a wolfy grin at him.

"You can phase back," he chuckled, "Quil's gonna be out there 'til six."

I concentrated on the one thing that always helped me phase back. The most human memory I could think of: kissing Jake for the first time on the beach, on that night that now felt so long ago. The fear, the apprehension, and the complete euphoria that came when that moment was finally realized... those were all things only a human could possibly feel, all at the same time, and still want to go through with it. I was back on my own two feet in seconds.

I untied the shorts from around my ankle and hopped around trying to put them on, while Embry laughed and stifled a yawn.

"What time is it now?" I asked.

"Four-thirty when I woke up," he grunted.

"Shit, sorry."

"No biggie. No watch on your arm, no other wolves in your head... only the sun and moon to tell you the time... it must be like running in the dark." He blinked up at the just-brightening sky. "No pun intended."

"Yeah... it's weird running with no one around to listen to you think."

Embry nodded sleepily. "You talk to Jake?"

"I fucked with his dreams. He was asleep most of the night."

He raised his eyebrows and forced down a laugh.

"Do I even wanna know what that means?"

I grinned impishly at him.

"Well, I'd take running alone over running with Quil right now."

"Quil? Oh shit... yeah, I totally forgot! You guys are..."

"Yeah," Embry said, shifting uncomfortably, "I had another dream about him last night. That'll go down well."

I yanked him up onto his feet, letting his weary body slump against mine. For the first time, his skin was actually cool to the touch; only because I was still overheated from running.

"Walk me home?" I asked.

"Alright, little bro. Then I've gotta get out to Quil."

We walked the short distance in silence. It was just like those quiet, simple mornings, when Jake was still around, where he'd be up waiting for me when I came home from a night patrol. We'd just appreciate the few stolen moments we had together. A few minutes here, before he had to take the next shift, or if we were lucky, maybe half an hour there, before we had to go to school. Never enough time. I'd like to say I made the most out of every last one of those mornings with him, but there were times when I missed a whispered word or a kiss, because I was too tired, and often slipping under.

What I wouldn't give just to have him here in front of me now, telling me that he loved me, just one more time.

I was back at Billy's front door later that morning. The few hours of rest I'd forced on myself after Embry went off to run his shift had left me feeling barely rested. Between slipping in and out of sleep, I was thinking of one thing and one thing only:

"The box," I said to Billy when he answered the door, "do you still have it? Where is it?"

"You here to steal that too?" he asked smugly.

I swallowed my words, embarrassed.

"I'm sorry about that, Billy. I didn't have any other way of getting to Forks."

"And you HAD to ride it into Forks, didn't you? Charlie thinks we have some sort of bike gang growing down here, wants to start a crackdown on the 'deathtraps'... or so he's calling them. Ha! Wonder if he knows the deathtrap his daughter is walking into."

There'd been a bit of tension between Billy and his best friend Charlie since Jake ran away and Billy refused to do anything about it. Charlie thought Billy was a bad dad for letting his sixteen-year-old son ride motorcycles and run away from home. Billy thought Charlie was a bad father for allowing his daughter to marry the undead. Things like these tended to put a bit of strain on friendships.

"Well now he can chalk another one up to the Rez," Billy continued, "where we have fifteen-year-olds breaking the speed limit on stolen motorbikes."

Apparently someone HAD seen me, and had called the police. Word spread like fire in dry grass on the Rez, and the council members were among the first to know. They included Billy... and my mom. Nice to know that all of us small-town folk were always looking out for one another.

"Look, I really am sorry... if there's any way I could make it up to you..."

"You can tell me where my son is," he interrupted.

I took a slow breath.

"Sorry, Billy. Even he's not too sure. He doesn't pay much attention to borders. Somewhere in northern Canada, I think? There's still snow where he is."

Billy nodded and looked down at the creased hands folded in his lap.

"So he's alright?"

"He's okay."

"Did he say anything?"

"He can't exactly 'say' anything right now... it's complicated. But he misses you... and his friends..." I stopped before I could choke out the one other person he missed, most of all; gritted my teeth against the building ache in my chest.

"It'll be alright, son. He'll come back," Billy sighed. "Come on then, let's get you that box."

The house was neater than the last time I'd been in here. The pile of papers on the table was gone. I guess my mom or Charlie must've come around and helped him clean.

"It's still right where you left it," Billy said as he motioned to Jake's room, and then wheeled over to the couch, giving me a private moment.

It was right there. I saw it, and Jake's dream washed over me all over again. I could almost smell the wood; and the smoke of the fire that he was sitting next to while he carved it. I traced the edges of the shell moon, and felt the strength and precision of the hands that etched each line, each notch. I held it, and wanted to know its secrets. One last secret to learn about the man I loved.

Billy smiled sympathetically at me as I came back out of Jake's room. I must've looked like I was about to cry. I certainly felt like I was about to.

"I taught him the skills, but he got a lot better at it than I'll ever be," Billy said. "You should be flattered. He made it just for you. He made something for Bella as well, something small... but that was just practice. He really poured his time into this one."

I turned the palm-sized box around and around. Something rattled inside. Billy gave me a knowing look.

"It's worthy of a relic," he said, tugging at the leather cord that he wore around his neck - the one that was attached to the legendary pouch of vampire ashes that had been worn by every Chief since Taha Aki. Shocked, I took another good, hard look at the box that I held in my hands.

"Don't worry," Billy chuckled, "no Cold Ones were harmed in the making of yours. I guess he could've gone after the ashes of the one you butchered up in the mountains, but that wouldn't have been a very romantic sentiment."

I laughed back uncomfortably. I realized I was actually a bit speechless.

"Go on, then. Take it. Go talk to him, keep him company. He must be lonely out there. And tell him his old man misses him."

I nodded, and all but bolted out of the house. Stopping just before I shut the front door behind me, I thanked Billy, and told him I would pass on the message. Then I was off and running as fast as human legs could carry me.

I ran straight home with the box wrapped in both hands as though it were made of pure gold. As though it would evaporate like a dream as soon as I let it go. Even from half a mile away, I could hear voices inside the house. I didn't think anyone was home, but seeing how high the sun was in the sky, I figured that Embry and Leah must've just come back from their morning shift.

"...Sam's made a big mistake. He's stupid to let him go out there on his own, not until we know for sure what the leech wants. Come on."

"Yeah, I guess, but why just us two?"

"Come on, Leah, you know no one else is gonna back me up on this. None of them have the balls to challenge Sam's orders."

"Ha! So you have to come to the girl for balls... Alright, what are you saying we do?"

"You and I split his rounds, half and half,"

"Fuck off! I'm not running half his shifts!" Leah's shrill voice protested as I came through the door.

Embry spun to face me, looking like he'd just been caught out. The both of them were suddenly silent. My brow creased.

"What's going on guys?" I asked.

"Hey! Totally didn't hear you coming! Sneaky little fucker, aren't you?" Embry said, pulling a shit-eating grin.

I shrugged.

"Who's running who's shifts now?" I tried again.

"Oh, that. Leah was just offering to run half your shifts for you..." Embry said offhandedly. Leah glared daggers at him. He ignored her. "You know, cos the whole punishment thing is so unfair anyway. And I was gonna run the other half. So you don't have to worry about anything, you can just stay here until you feel ready to be back on duty again."

"But I am ready," I said, confused, "I wanted to do it."

"Seth, we would really feel better if..."

"Anyway!" Leah butted in, "we have to run this all by Sam. Sam gave the punishment, it's up to him to say if Seth has to go through with it or not."

"Yeah, of course," Embry agreed, slightly condescendingly. "Leah, why don't you go to Sam right now and ask him what he thinks?" Leah looked like she was about to bite his head off, but then turned and clomped out. It was only then I noticed what had been wrong - I'd smelled something weird as soon as I stepped inside, but it wasn't until I saw the silken scarf tucked into the waistband of Leah's denim shorts that I realized what it was. Well, it was more the smell of the scarf, wafting in the breeze from the open door.

It reeked of vampire. And not one whose scent I recognized.

"What's that?" Embry's voice shook me back to the real world.

"This?" I said, distracted. My nose was still curling at the unfamiliar scent, "Oh, this! This is the box that I told you about, the one I saw in Jake's dream."

"This is it?" Embry asked, a bit disbelievingly. He put his hands out, and I hesitantly placed the box onto his strong fingers. It took a moment's concentration to finally make myself let go of it.

"Dude, I know this!" He broke into a wide smile, "I didn't think he finished it... it's... wow..." His thumb brushed the pattered edges of the lid. "He slaved over this while you were sick after your initiation. Dunno when he meant to give it to you, but I guess this is as good a time as any."

He passed it back to me, and I may or may not have grabbed it back from him. Just a little.

"Have you opened it yet?"

I shook my head. "I'm kinda scared to. It feels like it's the last piece of him, you know? Like if I do, that's it. That all of Jake that there'll ever be."

Embry chuckled. "Don't be stupid, Seth. He's coming back. And you two have a lifetime to spend with each other. So come on, I wanna see what's inside."

"Don't you know?"

"I have a pretty good idea," he grinned, "but I'll let you see for yourself."

I tried prying open the lid, my fingers gripping until they were nearly white. He'd made it hard to open - even for me - that was for sure.

"No, man... here... it slides open." He pushed his thumb against one edge, and the lid shifted a bit. Ah. I slid it open the rest of the way.

Inside, there was a curled mass of black leather cord. I lifted it carefully out of the box. Attached to it was a disc of wood. Below that, a small collection of beads clattered as the necklace swung from my hand. I studied the circle; it was made of the same wood as the box, and just as intricately carved. Turning it against the light, the detailed tribal design became apparent. It was in the style of an old Quileute totem, but not like one I'd ever seen before. Two stylized wolves filled the two hemispheres of the circle, intertwining in the middle where their bodies pressed together. Their heads were turned towards a small circle of bright shell above them, as though they were howling at the moon.

Embry gaped at the tiny work of art I held up.

"Shit, Seth... that's incredible," he gulped, "it's beautiful."

I was choking down a lump in my throat. The necklace spun lazily again, and the light caught the carved image of the two wolves, bound together as one. My lips, my hands, began to tremble.

"Here," Embry offered. He carefully lifted the leather cord from my grasp, and motioned for me to turn around. A moment later, he slipped the loop over my head. His large but dexterous fingers deftly adjusted the small knots along the cord until the circle rested on my collarbone. I turned around to face him again.

"Looks good," he smiled. "Jake would've been glad to see you wearing it."

I went to my room to put the box away, placing it carefully in a drawer in my bedside table. And then I collapsed onto my bed, staring at the ceiling while silently wishing Jake was here, so I could tell him how much I appreciated this small but profound gift. My heart floated, somewhere between joy and longing, in a sort of bittersweet happiness, while my fingers traced again and again the cord around my neck, the piece of Jake that I could now call my own.

The edict from Sam came back before the end of the day: I wouldn't be paying my forfeit through running. I watched Embry's smug face with scorn as Sam declared incontestably that the whole thing with Collin and Brady was Paul's fault. Paul had apparently been the one who thought it would be fun to press those two into messing around with us. He'd be paying the price for betraying our secret. So it looked like Embry got what he wanted. And the fuckwit even got to look like the good guy for saving my ass from punishment. I wasn't completely off the hook, though. I would be paying back my time as mediator between the pack and Jake, checking up on him whenever Sam wanted, whether Jake liked it or not.

So, for the rest of the summer, I was to be on duty only when Sam wanted me to tell him where Jake was. I never ran patrols, even though I wanted to. I wanted to spend time talking to Jake, and it didn't matter to me if I didn't get a response. But Sam told me to leave Jake alone, and Embry, of course, was on his side. Embry and Leah kept to their word, and ran all my shifts for me, so the only chances I had to talk to Jake was when I snuck out in the middle of the night and phased. Of course, he was usually asleep by then, so I spent the nights watching his dreams, feeling as though he was there with me.

That is, until I got caught. Embry finished his shift early one night, and came back towards my house. He found me laying in wolf-form in my backyard, falling asleep on my crossed paws. He only ran day shifts after that. By nightfall, he would be back at my house, ready to play another night's game of keep-Seth-distracted. And with no excuse to phase, I was in a deadlock. It became a kind of uneasy truce. I knew the pack was up to something, keeping something from me. He knew I knew. Neither of us wanted to breach the topic. And so it went. He was pretty damn keen on sharing my bed now, to make sure I didn't sneak out in the middle of the night. And I had less and less to say to him every night until, before long, a cursory "goodnight" was all that passed between us before we fell asleep, facing opposite ways.

I was woken up one night by a loud banging at the front door. This time, I was sure it wasn't Leah. Leah always came home the back way, where the house faced the trees. I clambered over Embry, making sure this time to get some shorts on before I left the room. I could hear the steady breathing coming from mom's room - the noise hadn't woken her up. Even so, my first instinct when I opened the front door was to hush whoever it was, even before I registered who I was silencing.

"Collin?" I blinked, surprised, "Brady?"

The two of them were sweating through their T-shirts, even though it was a cool night. Brady looked like he was shivering a little. It was the sign of a fever I recognized, only because I'd watched Leah suffer through it, and been through it myself.

Collin was breathing hard. "Seth, man... What the fuck's happening to us?"

I let them in, and went to wake Embry up. By the time I returned, with a bleary-eyed Embry in tow, the boys had crumpled across the sofa, gasping for breath. I sat down in the armchair. Embry chose to stay standing.

"Guys, you know the other day... in the shower block down by the beach?"

Their eyes darted to Embry: tall, brooding, imposing... and very unimpressed at having been woken up. Collin looked back at me accusingly, as though I'd betrayed their secret. Brady was in no mood for games.

"Yeahhh..?" he groaned.

"Okay, see..." I wasn't sure how to put this, "Paul and I... we passed something on to you..."

"Fuck! Like a disease?" Collin yelped.

"No, not a freaking disease!" I sighed, exasperated. "It's something genetic... we didn't think about it until it was too late, and even then, we thought it was only a small chance that it would affect you... it was only..."

"You're turning into werewolves," Embry cut in.

I glared at him.

"See, it gets easier every time," he smirked.

"You guys think we're idiots? Collin griped. "You expect us to believe those stupid old stories?"

"Col, maybe he's..." Brady started. But Embry interrupted him.

"Oh yeah? You'd better believe this." He yanked his shorts off, preparing to phase.

"Embry!" I yelled. "Not inside the house!"

That took a bit of drama out of his big reveal. Collin seemed to be holding back a laugh. Reluctantly, he went out onto the porch. The boys craned their necks over the top of the couch to see what was going on. He'd barely cleared the steps onto the dirt path when he exploded out into a snarling mass of fur.

"Holy shit!" Brady shrieked.

"Fucking... how did you do that?!"

Embry had phased back by now, and scooped his shorts up as he strode back into the room.

"The same way you're going to be able to do soon," he explained, while the boys looked at him with a renewed awe.

Embry and I tried to tell them all we could, but we could only tell them so much in one go before they'd freak out. We mentioned the whole vampire-hunting deal, but decided to leave out the details of their initiation. It was nearly dawn when they passed out on the couch.

"I'll stay out here with them," Embry said.

"You sure?" I asked. He and I both knew that neither of us had been comfortable sharing a bed for a long time now, not while there was this unspoken wall between us.

"Sure. Go get some sleep, dude."

He slumped into the armchair as I switched the lights off. It was hard to admit to myself that, even though I might be mad at Embry for keeping things from me, he was still always looking out for my best interests. And there hadn't come a day yet where I couldn't trust him to do what was right.

I sat on our front step with Collin and Brady, waiting for Embry to arrive. They'd spent the day here, wringing as much information about werewolf life as they could out of me. Collin had taken to the whole idea with a kind of brave acceptance. Brady was still scared shitless.

The sun was still high in the sky on this typical long, summer evening. I wondered what Embry would want to do tonight with our two new recruits. Ordinarily, he'd get here and propose we do something pointless like go for a walk on First Beach. Something to take my mind off the only thing I really wanted to do. I wondered, as I often did, if I phased now and made a run for the Treaty Line, would I get there before my brothers caught me? They couldn't hear me - and that was a distinct advantage. They wouldn't be able to chase me across the line into Forks, and from there I could easily lose them, tracking Jake, wherever he was. And then I could run with him forever, just the two of us, leaving the world behind.

I was snapped out of my daydream by Leah stepping out onto the porch. She stretched and yawned, completely ignoring us three younger boys. She'd been sleeping all day in preparation to run the dusk-to-dawn double shift. Half of which was supposed to be mine. She was running my shifts for me, just because Embry told her to. And she wasn't complaining. That was the most worrying part of all.

Embry emerged, on cue a second later, from the spot between the trees where he always did. He and Leah passed each other wordlessly, and she strode off, vanishing into the forest the same way that he had appeared.

I saw as he got closer, he had look of a kid who'd just been told his mom was cooking his favorite for dinner. The two boys sat up as he approached, wondering what he looked so pleased about.

"Someone's happy," I said mockingly, "are we going to the pizza and chicken wing place again tonight?"

"Better," he grinned, "we're going to Sam's."

The whole pack was at Sam's when we got there. Except... well, you know who. And Leah. She was running by herself tonight for a good reason.

"Boys! Come on in, prepare yourselves for a feast!" Sam announced grandly as he ushered us through the house to the table that was our card table, our dinner table, and our battle-plan table. But I'd never seen it set up the way it was now.

I guess this was the punishment Sam had been waiting to deal out on Paul, because there he was, lying naked across the long table. His head and feet just about hung off either end, and were tied down to keep him still. His wrists, too, were bound under the table by Sam's infamously tight knots. Like a trussed roast pig, his mouth was gagged with an apple. Around him, an assortment of food had been laid out: pizzas, chicken wings, hot dogs, meat patties for burgers, fries, and huge bowls of pasta. And on his lean, toned body, in contrast with his dark complexion, was dessert: donuts, cakes, brownies, cookies... things covered in cream and frosting and chocolate sauces which dripped down his velvet skin.

"What are you waiting for, guys?" Sam clapped the bug-eyed Collin and Brady on their shoulders, "dig in!"

Introductions happened as we started passing the food around. Everything was so relaxed, so casual. It was like Collin and Brady had been part of the pack forever. I stayed close to them, the only other guy their age in the room packed full of oversized older boys. I didn't know why I worried, though - they fit in just fine. Well, once they got over the need to try to hide the tents in the front of their pants. It didn't take long for them to realize that no one in this room gave a shit.

"Hey Paul," Collin grinned when he went back to the table for another helping. He'd already powered through an entire pizza and more, earning him much respect from the rest of the pack. Now he was going back for dessert.

He picked something small, round and chocolate-covered off Paul's chest and popped it into his mouth. Grinning, he then lapped the remaining chocolate off Paul's skin. The older boy grunted in frustration.

"He's under Alpha's orders to stay very, very still tonight, aren't you Paul?" Sam gloated. He scooped up some of the mousse from the mound that surrounded Paul's stiff meat, and stuck it in his mouth.

"You guys do this a lot?" Brady asked meekly.

"Not really like this," Sam answered, "but we have our fun."

I'd explained to the boys earlier today the freedoms that we enjoyed with our other pack brothers. Suddenly, their secret of sneaking a peek at each other's hard-ons in the shower didn't seem like such a big deal.

The "fun" kept coming as the night went on. Jared and Embry had a brownie-eating contest off Paul's abs, with their hands tied behind their backs. I got the feeling that Jared was dropping more than the occasional brownie just so he could have another go at licking the chocolaty mess off his buddy's taut, muscular body. When all the food was gone, the plates were cleared and Paul was left roped to the table. Sam drifted across from the corner where he'd been waiting all night. We all knew he had a grand finale planned, and now it was time.

"Gather 'round, boys!" he called out. One by one the pack formed a circle around the table. "I expect that you guys have all met Collin and Brady by now; our newest brothers." A cheer went up from the group.

"Paul here so kindly decided to take the initiative to invite them into our pack, but didn't let us have any of the fun!" An even louder booing.

"So, tonight, since we've got TWO new brothers to welcome into our pack, we're gonna put a spin on the usual initiation..." he grinned.

The rules were simple: everyone would stand in a circle around Paul, jerking off onto him. The last one to cum had to give Paul a handjob. The first had the honor of letting Paul give him head. Collin and Brady got to clean up the mess.

The air was already electric with anticipation. Shirts had come off, but everyone still had their shorts on - those were the rules - until Sam said so. But damn! The heavy, protruding bulges around the table were a sight to behold. I wondered if Collin and Brady would get stage fright when they saw the amount of massively hung cock that was gathered here tonight. Quil and Embry returned with wooden crates for the two younger boys and me to stand on - we were the only ones not tall enough to shoot our loads onto Paul.

"At the ready, boys," Sam smirked. Hands all around the table flashed to their flies and waistbands.

"Go!"

Seven pairs of shorts were flung off quicker than a werewolf phasing on the run, and then fists became a blur, pumping on hard dick.

The competition was intense. No one here was afraid to admit that they beat off all the time thinking about one, or two... or three... of our brothers, horned up and jerking it, with nothing hiding their magnificent bodies or their red-hot sex. So this was like a fantasy played out; not just in our imaginations, but in real life. Man, how could any of us keep from creaming right there and then?

Quil was the speed demon among us, and it made the jizz rise like hot lava in my balls just watching him, doubled over, cranking with both hands in his best effort to get first place. Embry wasn't far behind, just from watching Quil. Their eyes met across the table, and Quil cracked a killer smile at Embry, who tried to look like he hadn't been staring. Collin and Brady were to my right, Collin's hands beating his smooth, perfect shaft. I wondered how it would look when he'd reached his full werewolf size. It probably wouldn't be the biggest, I smiled to myself, but damn, it'd be the best looking by far!

"Oh... fuck!"

I looked up. Jared had apparently taken the lead, and was now blowing his thick streams of cum across Paul's chest. He'd just won the blowjob. We all saw Paul's eyes widen. He was closest with Jared out of anyone in the pack, and now he'd have to suck him off in front of all of us. Was his a look of worry or excitement, then? I guess we'd soon find out. Quil took second place, his load splattering on top of Jared's in droplets as he furiously jacked his meat right to the end.

Everyone looked to Embry, expecting him to be next. Sure enough, the big boy delivered the goods. He looked straight across the table at Quil now, with no shame whatsoever. Just watching the other boy's muscled body shudder with each fading tremor of his climax. Quil was busy wiping the tip of cock clean on Paul's arm when he was struck by a huge, flying blob of Embry's cum.

"Dude! The fuck?!" Quil cursed, before being smacked in the abs with another projectile shot of Embry's teen goo. "On Paul, doofus, not me!"

Embry was laughing even as he shook the last droplets of jizz from his cock. "Sorry, buddy. Didn't see you there," he winked.

It was now a close one between Collin, Brady and I. Their hands were speeding up, their mouths hanging open as they grunted and gasped. I watched Collin jack his perfect tool, and Brady's glance occasionally slip over to stealthily admire his friend hard at work. They looked so fucking hot together, all pretense of shame gone now; just a race to the finish line. Yeah. I was gonna cum.

"Arggh! Jeezzz..." I cried out. I leaned forward and shot my wad into a thick puddle on Paul's abs, then smeared the wet tip of my cock along his side.

The other two boys followed, coming hard within seconds of each other. I guess it only occurred to Collin at the last minute that he'd be lapping up his own sweet jizz along with all the rest, because he tried pointing his spurting cock somewhere, anywhere else where it wouldn't land on Paul. Too late. His boy juice mixed in with the mess that was already on Paul's torso, and then Brady added another couple of big spurts to that. Still panting, the two boys shared a look that said "oh shit, now what?"

All eyes were on Sam, clearly the last now. I studied his stony face, looking for any sign that he'd lost on purpose. But if he had, he wasn't giving anything away. Like the good sportsman he was, he graciously accepted defeat, and took Paul's throbbing cock in his free hand.

"Mnnnggghhh!" Paul moaned through his gag. His body jolted from having his aching shaft touched for the first time tonight. His Adam's apple bounced in his throat, and he looked as though he might cry if he didn't cum soon. Sam stroked Paul's swollen meat in tandem with his own, all the while watching Paul beg. He ground his thumb over the head of Paul's cock, and all around the circle we all felt the same electric feeling that ripped through Paul's body, making him arch up off the table, abs and chest bulging, the muscles in his arms and legs straining against his restraints. A couple of hands started stroking half-hard cocks again.

"Shit... Gonna... blow!" Sam gasped. His huge rod sent rope after rope of his thick, hot Alpha cum flying over Paul's body, coating him from navel to chin. At the same time, Paul's body began to rock, and soon he was pulling against the ropes like a madman in a straitjacket. He looked like all his body was exploding out of his cock, he came so much. Finally, Sam wiped his jizz-covered hand on Paul's heaving abs.

"Jared," Sam said coolly, "I think now's a good time to claim your prize."

A wry grin broke out across Jared's face, and he started stroking his cock to full mast again in anticipation. He took the apple from Paul's mouth.

"Arghh... Ahhh!" Paul gasped, writhing under Sam's touch, "hang on, no! Please man..."

Sam growled.

"No! I mean... ughhh... I want Jared... I want you to fuck me. Please Jared... come on, dude... I'm begging you."

Whoa.

You could almost hear the dicks hardening around the table.

Jared smiled obligingly, but not before pushing a few inches of his cock into Paul's mouth anyway.

"Alright, buddy... but slick it up good. It's gonna hurt otherwise."

Paul did as he was told, lapping and licking at our brother's hard tool until it gleamed. Sam made way for Jared, who undid the knots around Paul's ankles and lifted them up on his shoulders.

"None of that pussy-tickling shit you pull on Kim, man," Paul panted. "Go hard, or go home."

I only found out, a lot later, what all of Sam's pack already knew, and were dying to try out for themselves: Jared could fuck. If Quil was born to take cock, Jared was born to give it. They'd all seen so many of his memories of making Kim scream in pleasure... none of them blamed Paul for wanting to experience it first-hand.

"You think I'm good, huh?" Jared laughed, playing it up in front of the pack.

"Fuck yes! I know you are."

"I don't think you know HOW good..." he said as he began slipping one finger after another into Paul's tight hole.

"Show me!" Paul yelled. "Show me how good you are!"

"How good I am at what?" Jared teased. Normally, Paul wouldn't take this sort of shit. But it was hard to argue with a guy who had half his right hand inside you. As it was, Paul looked like he was about to burst a vein.

"At fucking! C'mon man," he groaned, "stop playing games; I just want you to fuck me!"

"Okay then, let's show these boys just how good I am..." he pressed his cock against its target, but before he had a chance to shove it in, Sam gave him a nudge that had Paul taking nearly all of him.

A round of "ooh shits!" and "ouches!" rose up from the small audience.

"Arrhhhhhh..." Jared moaned in surprise.

"Fuuu-AHHHHH-CK!" Paul cried out loud. And louder again as Jared leaned over him and drove his cock that last little bit of the way in. "Awwrrrhhh... GOD!"

"Too much, dude? Want me to take it out?" Jared asked. As if he was going to. But he eased back a little bit.

"No man, please! Don't take it out! I can take it... I can take it... just... FUCK man!"

"How's that feel?" Jared asked.

"Motherfucking unbelievable..."

"Well that's nothing compared to how it's gonna feel."

He started with short strokes, barely an inch in and out each time, until Paul was screaming and cursing for more. Then he drew out further, and pumped in deeper with every thrust. By the end, he had just the head of his throbbing meat in Paul, just pausing there, waiting for the magic words before he'd make another move.

"Gimme it, man... come on, PLEASE don't stop now!"

"You asked for it," Jared sneered.

With that, he pounded Paul like the dog in heat that he was, while Paul grabbed at the table, moaning, grunting, in a world of his own. He didn't even care when his captivated audience sent another round of jizz pouring down onto his trembling body. This might've been his punishment, but deep down, every guy there that night secretly envied Paul.

Even after Jared dumped his second load of the night inside him, Paul was huffing and whimpering, begging in a panting voice for Jared not to take his cock out of him.

"Sorry bro," Jared smiled. "There's always next time."

Paul's ordeal wasn't over yet. His legs were soon tied back down, and he was gagged again so Collin and Brady could be let loose on his cum- drenched body. If the two initiates had any apprehensions when they got here tonight, they were all gone now. Their tongues worked over Paul as though he was a snow-cone on the hottest day of summer, and, now knowing what werewolf cum could do for them, they fought playfully, nudging and elbowing each other out of the way, even slipping on Paul's cum-slicked body to get the biggest share of the warm, creamy mess. Paul, who was well and truly fucked-out by this point, accepted his fate as the two younger boys savored every part of his stunning physique.

With Paul cleaned off, they turned to each other. It started with Brady saying, "You've got some on your face," and licking a line of the white stuff off Collin's cheek. Before anyone knew it, the two boys were a tangle of arms and legs, tumbling over the table, with Paul still in the middle of it. They were discovering each other for the first time, grabbing at each other's smooth, lean bodies; hungry mouths locking together, interrupted only by gasps of hot breath. Brady had been transfixed before by what he'd seen Jared do to Paul, and it was easy to see he was eager to try it now with Collin. He leaned into Collin, placing the other boy's hand on his rigid teen-meat, giving him all control.

"Later, Bray," Collin whispered into his friend's ear, "not right now."

They'd obviously forgotten how good werewolf hearing was: their faces went red when disappointed "awww's" came from around the room.

Collin and Brady became... not so much the new runners for the pack... more like my personal bodyguard. At least, that's what it felt like. Sam called it training. But it was hard to teach them anything when the only areas we were allowed to run in were well within the boundaries of the larger circle patrolled by the older boys. Leah called it "doggy day-care". She wasn't far off. Anytime I wasn't with Embry, or if Leah wasn't home, Collin and Brady were never far away. I even looked outside one night to find them running circles of my house! Like I needed to be kept under watch! Maybe Sam was afraid I'd try to run off to see Bella or the Cullens again.

On the bright side, I got to phase more often, and in the daytime too. Phasing back and forth to explain things to Collin and Brady was a hassle, but that was a small inconvenience to suffer in exchange for the euphoria that rolled over me every time I phased to wolf, and felt Jake's presence in my head once again. His humanity was almost all gone now, and the other guys in the pack weren't thrilled about that. What did they expect, though? He had to kill his dinner every night - in fact; he had to kill anything that tried to kill him.

One day, while he was somewhere in the Rockies, a hunter took a shot at him. I froze mid-run, and watched Jake whip around, teeth bared at his human attacker. I got a good look at the man's face when he Jake turned to face him, how he regretted taking that shot, how he'd regretted getting up that morning and picking up his rifle. How he'd regretted ever being born. It took all my strength to will Jake into turning his back on the hunter; into running for the trees and forgetting the whole incident ever happened. He wasn't happy. No, the WOLF in him wasn't happy. I like to think that somewhere in there; Jake was thanking me for reminding him of who he was. After that, I spent many sleepless nights thinking about how many such situations I HADN'T averted... how often that sort of thing happened, how many times I hadn't been there to stop him. It's the wolf; I kept reminding myself, not Jake.

"I'm so freaking BORED!" Brady whined.

It was a drizzly Saturday morning and, as had become the habit, the boys were parked at my house. Doggy day-care. Leah was supposed to be coming home from her morning patrol bearing offerings of the food variety, which was the one of the main reasons why we hadn't left to do something, ANYTHING, more interesting.

Brady slumped onto Collin, nestling into the contours of his friend's body until he was comfortable, and then rested his head on Collin's chest. Collin put an arm shyly around Brady's waist. He kept looking anxiously at me, waiting for a reaction. As if I gave a fuck.

"Wish I'd gone to Sequim with mom," I complained under my breath.

"Sam said you couldn't go," Collin pointed out.

"Yeah, didn't need a reminder," I replied.

Brady whispered something right into Collin's ear. Yeah, they'd caught on that we other wolf-boys could hear them, and they'd learnt to be very, very quiet now. Collin grinned back, and dug his fingers teasingly into Brady's ribs. The two boys shared a giggle. God, this was painful to watch. What made it worse was Sam's reason for keeping me around. Edward and Bella's wedding was in three days, and he wanted to be able to contact Jake at anytime, to see if he'd changed directions or anything. So far, nothing. No change. Jake knew the wedding was going to happen, and it looked like he couldn't care less. Sam wasn't so sure, though. That was the other reason why I was stuck here, perched by the phone; I had to be ready to be on-call at any moment, in case Sam wanted news about Jake.

The boys giggled again, and this time Brady's hand slid up the front of Collin's shirt. Their faces grew closer...

"Guys! Get a room, for crying out loud!" I yelled.

They both turned to look at me expectantly. I sighed.

"Fine, you can use mine."

Brady was dragging Collin up by the collar of his grey T-shirt in a half- second.

"Don't fucking..." - the door to my room banged shut - "break anything," I grumbled.

Great. Stuck in a house with two lover-boys who fucked like jackrabbits. Well, that wasn't entirely true. Brady was the one with the infatuation; Collin was just going along for the ride. I played with the wooden medallion that hung from my neck, and my mind drifted back to those first, hot few months, when Jake and I were like that. Before his leg got put in a cast. Before he ran away. And now, with the wedding just days away, and him showing no signs of changing his mind... well, could anyone blame me for doubting that he was ever coming back?

The phone next to me rang, jolting me upright. Probably Sam; the phone call I'd been waiting for all morning. I squeezed my hand into a fist above the handset, wanting so badly to ignore it. From my room, Collin's moans started to fill the house. Fuck it. Anything was better than listening to that.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Seth, it's Bella."

Well this was unexpected. My spirits lifted a bit, even if her voice sounded a bit downbeat. I knew why she was calling, and it was nice to know that she, for once, was on my side.

"Oh, hiya, Bella! How are you?"

"Fine," she replied, though she clearly wasn't.

"Calling for an update?"

"You're psychic."

"Not hardly," I chuckled, "I'm no Alice - you're just predictable."

"I know I am," she paused for a second. "How is he?"

I sighed. "Same as ever. He won't talk, though we know he hears us. He's trying not to think HUMAN, you know. Just going with his instincts."

"Do you know where he is now?"

I tried to think of the scenery, the last time I saw through his eyes. That was a few days ago now, but there was still snow. Maybe even tundra. He was pretty far north. "Somewhere in northern Canada," I said, "I can't tell you which province. He doesn't pay much attention to state lines."

"Any hint that he might..."

I cut her off before she could ask me the question I'd been avoiding thinking about myself. "He's not coming home, Bella. Sorry."

Another pause. "S'okay, Seth. I knew before I asked. I just can't help wishing."

"Yeah. We all feel the same way."

"Thanks for putting up with me, Seth. I know the others must give you a hard time."

"They're not your hugest fans," I agreed with a laugh. "Kind of lame, I think. Jacob made his choices, you made yours. Jake doesn't like their attitude about it. 'Course, he isn't super thrilled that you're checking up on him, either."

She gasped. "I thought he wasn't talking to you?"

Oops. Backpedal. "He can't hide everything from us, hard as he's trying." Bella didn't know that Jake and I were part of a separate entity, either. She assumed the whole pack was still in contact with him, and it was best to keep it that way, as far as the Cullens knew.

"I guess I'll see you at the... wedding," she said. She still wasn't settled with the whole "wedding" thing.

"Yeah, me and my mom will be there. It was cool of you to ask us," I replied cheerfully. I thought it was great that Edward had been able to talk Bella into inviting us herself, since she liked the idea of having me stand in for her missing best man. It was a sign that Jake shouldn't be so afraid to tell her about him and I, that she might actually be glad that he'd found someone who could reciprocate his feelings.

"It wouldn't be the same without you," she replied.

"Tell Edward I said hi, 'kay?" I added.

"Sure thing," she half-laughed, a bit perplexed. She still didn't get the whole idea of Edward and I being friends, but then again, neither did my brothers. Well, as far as I was concerned, it was another sign that things didn't have to be hostile as everyone seemed to think.

The front door swung open. It was Leah.

"Ah!" I yelped, my voice cracking in surprise. Fuck, I sounded like an idiot there... Then I remembered the two boys screwing in my room. "Er, Leah's home."

"Oh! Bye!" Bella called out as I slammed the handset back down.

"Hey Leah, what's up?" I said, a bit louder than was necessary. I fumbled for the remote, flicking the TV on to a sports game, and turning it up until the crowd was nearly deafening.

"What the hell, Seth?!" Leah yelled through the din. "Have you gone nuts?"

"No," I replied, trying to keep my voice at a normal tone, even though I was clearly shouting, "I just wanna be able to hear it... from my room!" I started edging down the hallway.

She shook her head bewilderedly at me.

I opened my door.

CRASH! I heard the glass shatter. Fuck! I knew they'd break something.

The lamp had been knocked off my bedside table as Collin and Brady fumbled to cover up.

"Shit, you scared us!" Collin exhaled, "We thought it was Leah."

He'd spoken too soon.

"What the fuck was that?!" Leah came running. Took a look at the broken lamp. Saw the two boys sprawled across the floor in a tangle of sheets. Brady had somehow managed to get his left leg into the right leg of his jeans.

"Ugh! Boys..." she muttered, and skulked off again.

Collin and Brady left soon after that. By the back way, so they wouldn't have to pass Leah on their way out. I walked by her room on my way back to the front of the house.

"What's that smell?" I asked, screwing up my nose at the stench.

"What smell?" she replied.

"THAT... Yuck! How can you miss it?"

It was then that I caught sight of the white silk scarf hanging from her the handle of her wardrobe; the same one from the other day, along with the scent of a vampire that I didn't recognize.

Leah narrowed her eyes suspiciously at me.

"Actually, it was probably nothing. Guess it must've been the boys... you know how they... yeah..." I stammered.

She rolled her eyes. "I swear to God, Seth, you're getting weirder every day. I think not having Jacob around has broken your brain or something."

"Heh..." I laughed weakly, "maybe. Who knows, huh?"

She gave me another puzzled look, but by then I was already out of her way. I'd seen the opportunity to break this impasse, and the key to it was right here in my house, literally under my nose. The gears in my brain were turning.

I'd dozed off in front of the TV, when I was woken up by the phone. Leah grabbed it within the first ring, before I could even open my eyes.

"Hello?" she said in a hushed tone, barely a whisper. That was weird; she never spoke quietly, even when people were sleeping. Nobody mattered but her.

"Yeah, he's here... he's asleep," she answered whoever was on the other side of the line. I kept my eyes shut and did my best to pretend I was completely conked out.

"What?! Tonight?" her voice sharpened into a hiss, "but I can't... I just... He what...? ARGH!" she must've noticed how loud she was getting, because she suddenly went quiet again. "I can't believe that! Really? She wouldn't dare! Wait, what did Sam say again?" A pause. "The WHOLE pack?! Yeah, I know she's dangerous, but really? Isn't that a bit... Okay, okay, yeah, I get it. Fine. Well, whatever, send them over. I'll be at Sam's in five."

She put the phone down, and then rushed to her room. So Sam WAS hiding something from me! I knew it! And whatever it was, it was dangerous too. I felt the familiar sense of resentment rising up again. I hadn't felt it since the battle with Riley, when I thought I pretty much proved my worth as a fighter to the pack. But here it was again, Sam treating me like the baby of the group. I knew who was being "sent over" - Collin and Brady - to guard me, no doubt. Even THEY had a more important job than me.

I waited until Leah left; then made my move. I went straight to her room and grabbed the stinking scarf from her wardrobe. Whatever it was they were hiding from me; this scarf was a clue to it. I sniffed more closely at it, but still couldn't identify the vamp. If my brothers weren't going to give me answers, though, I knew someone who would. I slipped the scarf into a paper bag, folding the top over carefully, and then began peeling off my shirt in preparation to phase.

"Hey Seth! Open up!" Collin's voice came from the other side of the door, along with his signature impatient knocking.

Shit! I cursed under my breath. The paper bag went under the counter, and I answered the door.

"Sorry man," Brady said with a sympathetic look. "Embry's not gonna be able to make it tonight, so we're here to keep you company."

"That's great!" I lied through gritted teeth.

Dammit! I was wasting precious time. Who knew what dangers my brothers were facing? I wanted to be out there, to be part of the fight, not sitting on my ass watching re-runs and eating pizza. Collin and Brady knew what was going on. I could see it in their faces, the way they spoke to each other, and spoke to me. Like they were checking every word, being extra careful that they didn't let something slip out. And they were practically jumping at every noise. Was the danger here, in the town? Was that why Sam had sent these two as bodyguards? Because that would've been stupid. Much better to have us on the offensive than being sitting ducks.

A distant howl rolled over the house. I glanced around at the other two, watching their silent, split-second exchange.

"That's Sam," Collin said, "I'll go check it out."

"I'll come with you," I said, jumping up.

"Uh... Nah, no need. It's probably nothing."

"Yeah, don't worry, Seth," Brady chipped in, "if it's anything important, Collin will let us know, won't you Col?"

"Yeah, 'course."

I glared at the two of them, but Collin was already shucking off his clothes and making towards the back door. Seconds later, his padded footfalls were doing circles of the house, driving me slowly insane.

I needed an escape plan. It was easier now that they were separated, but harder because Collin was patrolling outside. One word from him, and the whole pack would know where I was heading. I took stock of my options. First, distract Brady. Easily done. During the next ad break, I started flicking lazily through the channels, finally settling on one playing some boy band music video.

"Dude, I love this song!" I cried out gleefully, turning it WAY up.

Brady raised an eyebrow at me. "Really?"

"Yeah..." I said. His incredulous look remained. "Okay, I'll admit, it's only 'cos I think these guys are totally hot."

"I guess... they're pretty cute," he admitted.

I started rubbing the front of my shorts, and spread my legs apart so he could get a better look. Out of the corner of my eye for the rest of the song, I could see he was distracted.

Finally, the video ended, and another one started, this time with some slut trying to sing. Brady lost interest in the TV. By now, I'd slid my hand through the fly of my shorts, and was massaging my growing bulge. I could see Brady was sporting a tent of his own.

"Well, this is boring," I said, nodding towards the TV. He glanced at the screen momentarily, but was quickly looking in my direction again. "Hey, Bray," I grinned, using Collin's nickname for him, "wanna play a game?"

"What game?" he asked suspiciously.

I went over to him, my hand still buried in my shorts, playing with my junk.

"Come on, I'll show you." I took my hand out and offered it to him. He took it. Very soon, we were making a mad dash towards my room. I fumbled for the light switch, but pretended to miss it in my eagerness to push him towards the bed.

"Why are you doing this?" Brady scanned my face.

Poor guy. While all the others in the pack had no qualms about messing around with any of our brothers, Brady, for some reason, only wanted Collin. Maybe it was because Collin was the only other boy his age. Well, there was also me, but maybe he thought of me as one of the "older boys". Whatever, it was kind of cute.

"I'm bored. It's what we werewolves do," I flashed a grin at him.

I was lifting his shirt off him now, and dragging my hands down smooth chest. The transformation had been good to him; he was getting a sleek, athletic body with nicely defined muscles under skin that was lighter than most other Quileutes. I paused at the button at the top of his shorts.

"This is where the game comes in."

"Stay there!" I said as I went back out into the kitchen. I was improvising now, and I didn't have much time. I grabbed the paper bag from its hiding place and tucked it under my arm - the quicker I could make this escape, the better. Behind me, the music continued to blare on the TV. Good, Collin would have trouble hearing us through the noise. It would buy me more time. I found what I was looking for, and sprinted back to my room.

"What's in the bag?" Brady asked.

"I'll show you later," I teased, "right now..." I produced the coil of rope, "we can have fun with this."

Brady was surprisingly well-behaved, considering I was lashing him to my bed now with rough, improvised knots. His hands done, I moved on to his feet, but not before pulling his shorts off. The look on his face was still one of curiosity and excitement. He was almost making this too easy. Then an idea came to me at the last minute. I grabbed a T-shirt that was lying on the floor and tied it haphazardly around his head, blindfolding him. Perfect. I stepped back and admired my work.

"Awesome. Now we can start," I said.

"What do I do?"

"Um... guess what I'm touching you with." Fuck! I didn't have time to actually PLAY games! Even though Brady looked so good right then... Maybe... maybe I could just play with him for a little bit?

I felt around the dark floor for something, anything... A pen! That'd do. I touched the cold metal to the blazing skin of his stomach. He tensed immediately, the curves and ridges of each of his perfectly defined abs becoming even more pronounced as I dragged the pen sensuously across them. His cock was starting to jump, too.

"Um... A pencil? Or a pen," he guessed.

"Too good! Okay, next."

I grabbed a sneaker from under my bed... thought about it for a second. Might as well do it, I guess... can't stay here long. I brushed the sole delicately along the underside of his firm shaft.

"Ahhh...!" he shuddered, "oh shit... a shoe? Man! That felt weird... but cool! Do it again!"

How could I resist? I did.

"Whoaaa..." His grin was growing wider as he got into this game. "Yeah, definitely a shoe," he laughed, "come on, the next one!"

Dammit! I really wanted to stay and play now! I bit my lip. No, you can do this some other time, I stressed to myself. This was only supposed to be a distraction. I had to make my escape.

"Alright, gimme a sec," I said, "I'll go grab a few more things! I'll be back."

Brady nodded eagerly, the look on his face more excited than ever. Sorry, dude. Don't mean to leave you like this, I apologized silently. I grabbed the paper bag and darted out of the room.

"Hey, Seth!" he called after me, "Do I get to find out what's in the bag?"

"Guys, let me in!" Collin yelled, banging at the back door. Shit, can't take that way out. "HEY! Can you guys hear me?!"

I only had seconds to make my next move. Collin was stuck out there without his clothes. It was only a matter of time before he came around to the windows and discovered Brady tied up, and that I wasn't there. Or worse, before he phased and called for Sam's attention. I checked that the front door was locked, to make it harder for him to get in, and then ran to mom's room. Her window was the closest to the trees. My best chance to disappear into the woods uncaught was from there. I slid the window open and quickly pulled my clothes off. Then I leapt out, landing with a barely a thud on the soft grass below. Collin hadn't heard me, he was still shouting to try to get our attention. The music blaring out the open window went suddenly quiet when I eased it shut.

Oh no. Collin definitely heard that.

The paper bag went in between my teeth, and I was sprinting for the trees.

"Seth?! Seth! Where're you going?" Collin yelled after me.

I phased on the run, leaping off my human feet on one step and landing on wolf paws the next. Then I was off like a bullet, faster than Collin could possibly run. Faster than anyone else in the pack but Leah. Collin would've sounded the alert by now; Sam and the rest of the pack would be after me. How far off were they? Argh! I cursed not being able to hear them. No, it means they can't hear you either, I reminded myself. They couldn't see where I was, or where I was going. Swifter and more agile than any of the pack, I had a very good chance of evading them.

What was that?!

Branches snapped and stones tumbled behind me, like something had burst through the trees and skidded along the ground. I ran faster.

The crashing noises through the undergrowth didn't stop. Someone was on my tail, and keeping up to my speed. Leah? Probably, she was the only one who could outrun me. No, I couldn't let myself be caught out by my own sister. I sprinted ahead. All I had to do was get to the treaty line. They couldn't follow me over that.

I ran hard, keeping the highway to my right as I leapt deftly over rocks and fallen logs, things that would've slowed down any of the others. Whoever was chasing me didn't fall back, even though I could smell the treaty line where Sam had marked it. My wolf-brain knew as soon as I crossed it that I was no longer in his territory. I was safe from him and the pack; they couldn't chase me this far. Even so, my pursuer didn't slow down, and I didn't stop tearing through the woods as fast as my legs would carry me.

Forks seemed much closer when you could run in a straight line, without the twists and turns of the highway. And of course, when you were running at werewolf speed. I was bolting so fast that I nearly missed the turning off the 101 that marked the narrow drive. I silently thanked mom for taking the time to look up the address of the place on the wedding invitation. The spectacular trees on either side of the drive were ablaze with tiny lights, no doubt for the special occasion that was going to take place here in a few nights' time. I knew I had the right place, but I refused to slow down until the smell of vampire started burning my nose. I was in enemy territory now. Sam wouldn't come this far.

<Edward?> I thought hard. <Edward, it's Seth! Can you hear me, man?>

Somewhere out there, Jake's mind registered that hated name. His Alpha growl started filling my head.

No! I had to think clearly. <Edward! Can you come out here please? I need to talk to you!>

Jake bristled with anger again. He was howling now, and then suddenly breaking into a run. The landscape around him was completely different from the last time I'd seen him. Ice and snow had given way to lush pine forests. He was a lot further south than I originally thought. A lot closer to home. He'd been tracking something, though even he wasn't sure what. He was just going with the wolf's instincts, the need for the creature to hunt. Whatever this thing was, he'd been following its southward trail for weeks.

I saw the huge, darkened house then, glowing deathly white in the moonlight. Some tense, hushed murmurs wafted from inside.

<Edward? It's okay, tell them it's just me.>

The murmurs increased. I heard my name amongst them. They didn't seem to believe me.

Finally, Edward emerged onto the porch. I relaxed a little, until I saw his two big brothers, the tall, anxious-looking blonde one, and the brawny, cocky darker-haired one - Jasper and Emmett, if I remembered right. They stood just a little behind him, flanking him like guards.

Right away, I decided against phasing back to human. In my haste to leave the house, I didn't tie my shorts around my leg, and... well, those two guys were just so... big.

"Seth? What's going on?" Edward asked.

I risked a step closer to the house, and bowed my head in an instinctive show of submission.

His face tensed up at that, and Jasper immediately picked up on the change in his composure.

<...I don't recognize the scent,> I continued

I dropped the paper bag to the ground at the base of the steps.

"Heh. Doggy gone brung us a doggy-bag," Emmett chuckled.

The other two ignored him. They were too tense, too serious to even hear him. Edward picked up the bag and pulled out the flowing scarf, which fluttered lightly in the cold night air. Even surrounded by the scent of multiple other vampires, I could pick the scent from the scarf as unfamiliar. Edward didn't even get a sniff of it before Jasper caught the scent on the breeze.

"...Irina?" Jasper said, perplexed.

Edward pressed the thin white fabric to his nose.

"I think you're right," he said. His voice was a mixture of confusion and worry. He handed the scarf to Emmett, who only nodded in agreement.

<Whoa! Hang on guys!> I yelled, even though only Edward could hear me, <You know her?>

Edward repeated my question to the others.

"She's kind of like... a cousin?" Emmett answered. "No relation, not even vampire-wise, but her coven and ours are close."

<Then why would she be after the pack?>

Edward had to speak aloud for me again. This was frustrating. Phasing back was out of the question, though. No way was I letting Jasper and Emmett see me naked.

"Don't you remember, Seth?" Edward said this time, "she's the deserter. She stopped the Denali clan from coming to our aid when Victoria attacked. She had a grudge against your pack for killing her mate, Laurent. And I guess she still holds that grudge."

His jet-black eyes flickered quickly, then he continued, "Alice has been listening to us... she says Irina has just disappeared from her sight."

<What does that mean?>

"Her future is now tied to that of a werewolf."

And in my head I saw it. Like the real world had cut to commercial, and this was an ad that was playing. The three vampires in front of me, the house, the oppressive smell, all faded in comparison to this huge, world- shifting vision.

Jake had made his decision. It was the hunter and the wolf again: kill or be killed.

He'd known the thing he was tracking, the thing he had been following south all this time, was a vampire. Not consciously, but the wolf knew it. That's why the need to follow it was so strong. Now, with our minds connected and working as one, the pieces clicked together. The vampire he had followed down the coast, all the way from Alaska, was Irina. It was her who had been keeping the pack on its toes these past few weeks. Maybe she was even the reason why Sam wanted to keep me off patrol...

"I'd say so," Edward sighed. "Vengeance is very important to our kind. An eye for an eye. Jacob killed Irina's mate Laurent... in return, she will not want to kill Jacob, but his mate..."

I felt a cold shudder run down my back.

"...you."

Sam had known this all along. Embry had known it. Leah too, maybe even Collin and Brady. They'd all known that there was a vampire after me. They had taken me out of her reach, putting their own selves in the line of danger instead. Now, Jake was going to do the same, and try to kill Irina before she could get to me.

No way was I going to let that happen.

I snatched the scarf away from Emmett.

"Hey!" he said, jerking back, "Man, what's going on?"

Edward had already read my thoughts. He knew what I was planning.

"Seth, don't be stupid! You'll never..."

But I already had her scent in my head, and was ready to do what I had to do. Find her, and then lead her away from the pack, to keep them out of harm's way. Make her chase me to a place where it could be just her and me, no interference from the pack or the Cullens. Then I'd take her on myself.

Edward hissed, suddenly. "Too late, she's followed you here."

Oh shit. So she was the one on my heels all the way from La Push. All this time I'd been inches from her grasp. My blood filled with adrenaline... and fear. But even so, I whipped around, my hackles up, canines bared.

She appeared as little more than a pale blur, running up the winding drive. The lights in the surrounding trees glinted off her marble skin like flecks of quartz in a smooth, white stone. Her chin-length hair, a shade of blonde that was nearly as pale as her skin, was swept back as she ran. She was approaching fast, but there was still a good distance between us.

I growled, and she pulled her lips back over her teeth at the sound.

Good, I thought. Now we can play.

It went against all my instincts to turn my back on a vamp, but I forced myself to do it, breaking into a sprint the instant I was facing the other way. I needed the head start, because she was already on my tail the very next second. The chase was on.

"Irina!" I heard Edward call after her behind me.

For an instant I thought he would try to follow us. I hoped not. Other people had been fighting my battles for me for too long now. This one was mine.

It was the worlds fastest game of "catch me if you can". I hurtled through the forest, faster than I'd ever run before. There's something about having a vampire on your tail who wants you dead that kinda drives you to run faster. In the dark, with the moon obscured by the canopy above, the undergrowth was a jumble of tangled branches that scratched at my skin and tugged at my fur. A fallen log appeared in front of me, just one body-length away. No time to react! I leapt over it as best I could - my back feet still clipped it - and then kept running. It had broken my rhythm and lost me precious seconds, but I was still ahead. Behind me, leaping from branch to branch, only hardly ever having to maneuver across the forest floor, Irina was still hotly in pursuit.

I ran, and ran, and ran. If it was a battle of who got tired first, I was going to lose. Werewolves could run VERY long distances, but we were still living beings. Vampires weren't. There was a good chance that they could run indefinitely. Sure, they needed to feed, but not nearly as often as we needed to eat or drink. Even so, I pressed on at lightning speed. The ground became rockier, steeper, the trees spread further apart. Irina had to leave the trees as they thinned out, and began to chase me across the rocky slopes, slowing her down a bit. I didn't know where I was going, only that I needed to put distance between us and the pack that would be following our trail from La Push.

Jake was running too, fiercely hunting down the vampire he'd already tracked all this way. Our paths were slowly converging. I willed him not to follow us, going as far as confusing my own thoughts so that he would be thrown off our trail, but he wasn't so easily misled. In the end, I took to staring at the ground just feet in front of me; no way could he tell where I was just from that. He was getting close, though. I could see mountains through his eyes now. He wasn't far off.

In the cold light of dawn, a thin, drifting snow had begun to fall on the mountainside. Now, as I climbed higher, the grey light fell on large expanses of thick snow. I was fast and agile, able to bound across the soft, white carpet easily enough, but this was where she was faster. Her feet danced across the surface of the snow like she was weightless. And every time I hit a soft patch, sinking a paw a couple of inches too deep, I was losing precious split-seconds to her.

Still, we ascended; the hunter and the wolf. Higher and higher, until the clouds grew into a thick, foggy mess around us. Icy flecks began to whip at my face, and I could feel my body slowing. It became harder to see, and soon it was all I could do to pick my way between the sharp rocks and just keep my mind on which way was up and which was down. Behind me, the menacing snarls grew ever closer. She was toying with me now. I was easily within her reach, and obviously faltering. I guessed it was just part of her sick mind to watch me suffer.

And I wasn't going to play her games any more.

I spun around, facing the way I came. The falling snow was so thick now that I could barely see the steam rising from my own nostrils. I listened hard, but couldn't hear her. A threatening hiss came from behind me, and I turned on my heels, only to have the sound vanish just as suddenly. It was like a great, white blanket of snow had been pulled over my eyes. Through the screeching wind, I could hear the blood rushing in my ears.

Come on, enough of this!

I howled, just in case I hadn't made my position clear enough. The hollow sound echoed off the mountain and away into the distance. I'd never felt as alone as I did then.

Without warning, she appeared, white on white. The pale silhouette moving amongst all that uniform snow was the only thing that gave her away. Within a split-second she was close enough that I could hear the dry rasping in her throat - the hunter trying to intimidate its prey.

I snarled back, trying to make the sound as low and threatening as possible. Was she sneering at me? I couldn't really tell. Maybe she thought this was too easy, facing off with a young werewolf. Did she know I'd killed Riley? If she didn't, she had no idea what we were capable of. She knew that we'd killed Laurent, but maybe she thought that was the work of a whole pack. A solitary wolf was not a threat to her.

I arched my back, the fur along my spine bristling. I couldn't show that I was scared. My heart was racing, and I was sure she could hear that, so I couldn't afford to show any other sign of weakness. She got so close now that I could smell the burnt-sugar reek, even through the biting wind. I saw the ice clinging to her hair and to the fur-lined hood of her white jacket. Then the little things that made her so subtly un-human - how her cheeks weren't turning red in the stinging cold, how there was no steam on her breath as another low growl escaped her marble lips. How she never blinked.

I snapped at her then, and the sudden movement sent her into a defensive pose. She was on all fours, crouched on the ground like a cat about to pounce. We faced-off for a long second, both watching, waiting for an instant of weakness.

Suddenly, it was like I was watching myself on TV. I could see Irina, ready to spring, and I saw myself, all fur and teeth and claws, eyes burning with the fires of hell. Was this what an out-of-body experience was like? Was I watching myself die, then?

I closed my eyes, but that image was still there. Hunter and wolf. The wolf had blinked, just for a moment. The hunter saw her chance, braced herself to pounce. And so the hunter was going to win. With my last thought, I whispered directly to that other mind:

"I love you, Jake."

Then my eyes flashed open, ready to take the hit. Squared my shoulders, and prepared to lunge back. I howled again, and the sound came out double, lower, like that of an Alpha...

Because it was an Alpha's howl.

<JAKE!>

Smoothly, calmly, Jake took his place by my side. I didn't remember him being this big, and his fur was dirty and disheveled, but there was a kind of ferociousness in his eyes that not even a vampire would fuck with. He howled again. The rumbling shook the mountainside.

Irina started backing away almost immediately. The look on her face was incredulous, and extremely pissed off. She gnashed her teeth, and the sound was echoed by the huge wolf beside me. Irina did the math. She could take one of us on, but not two. Jake inched forward with measured precision. We had the upper hand now. We could win this fight! But Irina was already defeated. The battle already lost. With the scowl still on her face, she retreated into the infinite whiteness.

Jake barked after her, and then started to break out into a run.

<Jake, no!> I yelled.

He bolted ahead, but I quickly cut him off. Then he was on top of me, tumbling, scratching, snapping, a mess of teeth and fur as I fought to keep him controlled.

<No! Leave her! It's not worth it!>

He threw me off, and then righted himself back onto all fours. I stood back up too, glaring him down. I'd just spoiled his hunt, and he was angry.

<Jake, listen to me! Stop this, now!>

His lips pulled back over his teeth. His eyes were empty. They were so animal, nothing like my Jake.

That's because he was no longer Jake.

He paced towards me, and instinctively, I withdrew from the bigger wolf. He was the hunter now, and I was in between him and his game. An enraged growl rumbled through his fierce jaws.

<Jake, it's me, Seth. Don't you remember?>

I started cycling through memories of all our times together, reminding him of the human inside him. They disappeared, all of them, sucked into the blankness of the wolf's animal mind.

<You're a human, Jake! Come on, remember! Think of Embry, Quil, Sam, Jared, Paul... Billy? Rachel, Rebecca? ...Bella?> I recalled their faces clearly in my mind as I said each name, <You've gotta fight it, Jake!>

His restlessness, his irritation with me, grew. He was sizing me up now, not that he needed to. If it came down to a fight, I knew I would lose. I couldn't bring myself to hurt Jake, human or not. And I guess if this was how I was going to die, I would rather it be at Jake's hands than anyone else's.

Resigned to my fate, there was no need to stay as a wolf anymore. No need to protect myself. It was my last hope, the only remaining way I could think of to remind him of his humanity.

I phased.

Without fur, I immediately felt the sting of the cold. Snow struck my skin and was instantly turned to tiny droplets of water by its heat. I looked Jake straight in the eyes, and took a step towards him.

"Please, Jake, just make it quick," I whispered, and squinted my eyes shut.

Nothing.

Then, slowly, there was a low sound, one of confusion more than rage. Maybe it was the cold, but the air seemed to shimmer, to shift.

I cautiously opened my eyes.

There he stood, strong and resolute as the trees. His muscled shoulders squared, his strong, wide chest rising and falling with each breath. His hair had grown long and untidy. When he stumbled towards me, he moved with an unfamiliar clumsiness. But he was the man I loved.

"Jake!" I cried.

He reached out with one trembling hand, and I touched his fingers just as he fell to his knees in the snow. I was immediately crouched at his side. Guess he wasn't used to human legs after all these months as a wolf.

Carefully, I laid him out on his back. The snow was already melting where he stood; his body temperature was so high. He was shuddering, though, and I pulled him close for warmth. His naked skin on mine, my fingers digging into his back, our steam-laden breaths mingling, he tried to make sense of this moment. There was still emptiness in his eyes, which were unfocussed and glazed, like he was still in another world. Then, with fingers that were awkward from being out of practice, he grasped at the carved wooden medallion that hung from my neck. A smile of recognition seemed to shift the planes of his face. He blinked once, twice, with eyes that were gradually brightening.

An uncontrolled, hysterical laugh escaped me. All the fear, all the tension that had built in my chest fell away at the sight of him. I was just happy to be here, holding Jake in my arms again. With warm tears running down my cheeks, I reached out with fingers that were frozen numb, and wiped away the frost building on his eyebrows.

Then his lips moved in a feeble attempt to say something. His teeth started to chatter. It was strange, the cold had never gotten to him before, but it was affecting him now. I pressed my body tightly to his, buried my face in his neck, anything to pass what warmth I had to him.

When he finally stopped shivering, he managed to stammer out something indecipherable. I looked at him, puzzled.

He cleared his throat, and tried again.

"I think I just imprinted on you."

JACOB BLACK

They told me that Seth carried me, semi-conscious, back to the Rez in wolf-form. He couldn't run with me on his back, so he walked down that mountain, step by laborious step; the rest of that day and all through the night. It was not until sometime the next day that they found us. Seth was exhausted from carrying me, but still, he shook his head at them, and nudged them away when they tried to come close. He wanted to carry me the whole way back to La Push himself. Quil and Embry took his flanks. Leah followed behind, and Jared, Paul and Sam lead the way. Like a procession for a soldier returning home from war, they carried me to the outskirts of town, near Sam's house. Emily came running when she saw the pack. Back in their human forms, Embry and Sam had lifted me from Seth's back and half-carried, half-dragged my limp body into the house.

The drifting of voices all around me seemed to blur into a sound that was now so unfamiliar that I had to strain to understand them. I was so out of touch with the whole 'human' thing. I'd been slipping in and out of dreams, my world phasing from comforting fire to scorching ice; from the sounds of a dozen hushed, tense whispers to the jubilant cries of celebration. Each time I came to, just for a moment, I searched for him. And each time the world went dark again before I could find him. Was his voice, his touch, his scent all a dream? The two boys, struggling with my bulk, heaved me onto the couch.

"Where's Seth?" I asked urgently, tugging at Embry's arm.

"He's gone to the wedding," someone replied.

Not A wedding. THE wedding. There was no question of whose. An old pain rose in my chest, but it felt dulled this time, like the memory of a bone I had broken so long ago I could hardly remember.

I pushed my way out of Sam and Embry's grasp. Jared and Paul tensed instinctively, ready to bring me down if need be.

"I'm going," I said.

"The fuck you are!" Embry yelled. "Look at you, Jake! You can hardly stand up. No way are we letting you go to that leech-fest. How're you gonna defend yourself if something goes wrong?"

"Yeah, man," Jared chipped in, "you look like shit. You should just rest up."

"I'm. Going." I growled at them.

They didn't have a choice. They couldn't stop me, and they knew that. Nothing could separate a werewolf from his imprint. It was a bond stronger than brotherhood, stronger than an Alpha's orders. And I felt it now, coursing through entire anxious, twitching body, this NEED to see him. The feeling that the world was in black and white and on mute if he wasn't by my side.

Jared knew this. So did Quil and Sam. They could either help me or get out of my way. They didn't really have a choice. Quil went to my house to fetch some clothes. Sam lent a hand with getting me cleaned up, even though my control over my human appendages was already improving quickly. By the time Quil returned, I had enough dexterity back to be able to cut my long, messy hair. It was only with rusty old kitchen shears, in front of Sam's bathroom mirror, so it was still a mess, but at least it was more presentable.

The three of us stood in the woods, less than a hundred yards from the party taking place in the clearing just beyond. Quil dropped the backpack he'd been carrying in his jaws.

<You sure you wanna do this?> he asked.

Edward would know we were nearby. He was probably already listening to us. I couldn't turn back now.

<Yeah,> I said,

I phased back to human, and started pulling out the contents of the backpack and putting them on. I didn't really have anything to wear to a wedding... My one pair of good black jeans. A clean, white button-up shirt. The black tie that I saved for occasions like these. A pair of scuffed up black shoes. As if the whole two-legs thing wasn't weird enough, I had to add clothes to it. This was all just too bizarre. I didn't expect it to feel weird, returning to life as a human, but somehow, I had almost felt more comfortable as a wolf.

Then, like the sun rising through the trees, Seth appeared at the edge of the party. He drifted towards our little group, Sam and Quil, who had stayed wolf, and me. His hands were buried in his pockets. As he got closer, he broke into a brilliant white grin that was no doubt a reflection of mine.

"Hey there, Jake," he said. "You look good."

I pulled him into an embrace, completely forgetting where I was, or why I was here. Everything was alright now; I could've left with Seth right then without a second thought.

"Come on," Seth murmured, lifting his face from my chest, "there's someone over there who really wants to see you."

I looked over at the crowd. Amongst the guests, an old man in a wheelchair and a black-haired woman with a stern, wary face stood out. Billy and Sue.

"Do they know I'm here?" I asked him.

"Quil told us you were coming. He got to your house just as we were about to leave," he said.

"So Bella's expecting me then?"

"No-one's said anything to her yet. I told them I'd come in here and check with you first. But Edward's just waiting for the word from me."

My jaw tightened at that name.

"Come on, Jake. None of that shit matters anymore, right? Just you and me." He pushed his fingers through mine.

"Just you and me," I agreed.

We started off in the direction of the party, the darkness giving way to the bright lights.

Seth's forehead was creased, he was thinking very hard. Giving Edward "the word", no doubt.

"Seth?" I said, interrupting his concentration.

"Yeah?"

"When we talk to Bella, after we're done with all the congrats and everything, I mean... Can I tell her you're my boyfriend?"

He smiled at me.

"Sure, sure."

I looked up to see the couple twirling away from the dance floor. The man in a black tuxedo, looking too graceful for real life; the woman in a flowing white dress that only accentuated her natural clumsiness. He turned her to face us, and her look of confusion only grew. Seth started to hang back, letting me have this moment, but I squeezed his hand tight, and tugged him along with me. The last thing I wanted to do was to let go of him.

If I was going to do this, I was only doing it with the boy who was now my destiny standing solidly by my side.