THIS STORY IS TOTALLY FICTITIOUS. IT CONTAINS DESCRIPTIVE SEX BETWEEN MEN. IF THIS IS OFFENSIVE TO YOU GO ELSE WHERE. IF IT IS ILLEGAL FOR YOU TO BE READING IT YOU SHOULDN'T BE HERE TO BEGIN WITH, SO JUST GO AWAY. OTHERWISE, MAY YOU ENJOY IT. JWS
A note to you who read this story: This is a long story covering a couple of decades. The problem presented in the beginning will not be dealt with until near the end, many chapters into the woof and warp. I will jump from the present to the past, back and forth, weaving this tale. Itmight behoove you to go back and reread previous chapters if you tend to feel that you've lost the thread of the story. I assure you it is there.
From Chapter 3
That evening Robert called and asked me to meet him at the PX cafeteria. We both got a beer and found a quiet corner. He studied his beer for a long time as I quietly sipped mine; waiting for him to say whatever was bothering him.
"Miki called me at work today. She asked me to take her out clubbing Friday night."
FROM OUT OF NOWHERE Chapter 4
by JWSmith
"Oh yeah?" I ducked my head and glanced up at him.
"Yeah." He said. I waited for more. All I got was silence.
"So--- are you going to do it?" I asked.
"Would you mind? I mean you don't really have anything romantic going with her. You told me that yourself."
I looked up at him.
"You really don't get it do you? With all your simpatico with other people's emotions you still don't know where I'm coming from do you?" I paused, holding his gaze. "Shit. I don't care if you fuck her. What really gets me is that she will be fucking you, Rob. And that aggravates the hell out of me."
"You're right, I don't get it. What's the difference? Whether she's fuck me or me her, we're fucking each other, Right?" He was being a hard-ass about it. He was definitely ignoring my feelings about it..
"No, that is not right. Miki I don't care about. You--- well, forget I said anything." I swigged the last of my beer and stood up.
"Enjoy it. She's a good lay." I turned and walked out. I got about half way back to my quarters before Rob came running after me. He grabbed my arm and swung me around.
"God Dammit, Hal, you think I could even get it up with you broadcasting anger like that. Stop it." Oh, I guess I was wrong he was picking up my emotions. He covered his ears as if he could stop the flow of my strong anger into his brain. "If you don't care about her what is the god damned problem?" He demanded.
"The god damned problem is that I love you, Robert McGuire." I was in his face, talking in a low voice through clinched teeth. "And I'm in the service and can't do a thing about it. That's the god damned problem, Rob. So go fuck you lights out and I'll pretend I don't know its happening. Now leave me alone." I turned away from him. I was so angry that I was lucky there was no brick wall near by to put my fist through. I would surely have shattered every bone in my hand and not even felt it. Rob fell to his knees holding his head.
"Hal, stop it, please. I can't take your anger directed me." He had folded up with his head between his knees, his hands over his head. I turned and looked back at him. When I saw that he had collapsed, I rushed back to him. My anger dissipated immediately.
"Rob, I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was doing this. Forgive me. I won't be angry with you again. Rob--- Rob." He had gone catatonic. I panicked. I couldn't believe that my anger had reduced this big jock to a mound of quivering jelly. I looked around for help. There was none. I rushed into the nearest barracks and sprinted down the hall to the telephone. There was an airman sitting in the cubicle in his BVDs talking to his girl. I grabbed the phone out of his hand, hung her up, and dialed the hospital and screamed for the medics to get over here now. I handed the phone back to the stunned fellow and ran back out to Rob. The APs were there almost before me, with the ambulance right behind them.
We loaded Rob into the ambulance and rushed back to the hospital. The Flight Surgeon was on duty Thank God. He was my favorite Doctor in the hospital. Dr. Levine was cool, level headed and fair-minded. I knew I could tell him what happened and he would make sense of it. The AP's wouldn't, that's for sure.
The medics had unsuccessfully attempted to straighten Rob's body out before putting him on the litter. He just curled tighter. Dr Levine gave him an injection of something. Within seconds his body started to relax and straighten out. He sent him to the wards with a call to the nurse's station upstairs.
"Okay, Hal, he's going to sleep through the night. Let's go get a cup of coffee and you tell me what happened so we can help him when he wakes up."
We got our coffee and headed into his private office. He motioned me to the couch while he moved to sit in the armchair across from it.
"Everything you tell me, Hal, will be held in the strictest confidence. So relax, be open and truthful.
I started with the day I met Rob and told him everything that had transpired since Buddy had shipped out.
"I'm rather ashamed of what has happened, but I don't know that I could have done anything different."
"Well, I've known Miki for several years and I am amazed that I was able to elude her bed. If I had been single I probably wouldn't have." He paused in thought for a moment. "Tell me more about you and Rob, how you feel about him and how you think he feels about you. Speculate where you think your friendship will take you."
I thought for several moments before answering.
"You know, I've always been the big brother, being the oldest child. At first he was like the older brother I always wanted. As we became acquainted we became good buddies. Doing everything together. And then as I got to know him even better I found myself in love with him. He's such a warm loving man. I don't know if he feel that same towards me. That's okay.
"Tonight when he told me that Miki wanted to go out with him--- I don't know, something shattered in my mind. I was insanely jealous. I forgot that he couldn't stand anger directed at him. He had told me what it does to him. I simply didn't think. I would have gone back to the barracks and slept it off, but he came after me. I lost my cool. I couldn't understand why he couldn't comprehend why I felt like I did. Hell, we never discussed how we each felt about the other. I guess that is a natural guy thing, keeping you feelings to yourself like that. Anyway, I blew a gasket when he insisted that I tell him why I was upset. And here we are."
"How do you think Rob feels about you?"
"Well--- I think he looks at me as his closest friend, at least here in the service. He lovesme---as a friend."
"So what do you thinks going to happen next in your relationship?"
"I'm going to be there when he wakes up in the morning and I'm going to beg his forgiveness for getting angry. I hope we can continue on in our friendship. He is going to be okay isn't he, Doc?"
"Being that there is no brain damage, I assume he will just wake up when the medication wears off. From what you have told me, I would think he has a fairly strong ego and a strong will power. We shall see. Why don't you go turn in and I'll see you here around six a.m."
"Thanks, Doc."
"Remember that's Colonel in front of others." He grinned.
"Thanks, Colonel Sir." I returned his grin.
I was on the ward sitting beside Rob's bed at 5:30 a.m. The only reason I was allowed to get away with it was because I was a medic. Lt. Sims came in with a cup of freshly brewed coffee and handed it to me.
"Thanks, Lieutenant."
She put her hand on my shoulder, squeezed, and then turned and left without a word. I pulled the curtain between Rob's bed and the next, sat down and sipped on the steaming coffee and watched Rob. He was sleeping. I think the drug had already worn off. His R.E.M.s were very active. He was having a whale of a dream. Suddenly he woke up. His eyes shot open and he stared right at me. His look was so intense I felt like he was searching my soul. I reached over and took his hand.
"Good morning." I whispered.
He smiled and closed his eyes. His grip tightened on my hand. I squeezed back trying to communicate through touch everything I was feeling, remorse for having reduced him to the state that put him into the hospital, joy and relief because he was apparently okay.
"I'm so thirsty." He whispered, his voice hoarse.
I poured him a glass of water from the carafe on the stand next to his bed. I cupped his neck in my hand and helped him sit up to drink it. When he finished he lay back.
"Wow. What an experience. I'm so sorry to have put you through that, Hal."
"What are you talking about? I'm the one who lost my temper and reduced you to a pile of Jell-O. I'm sorry, Rob. I knew what anger does to you and still, I directed it at you."
"Well, it was my fault you did. I provoked you."
"Still I have no excuse."
"Forget it. So what flavor am I?" he asked, grinning at me.
It took me a few moments to figure out what he was referring to.
"I haven't tasted you, but I think your taste would be rather complex, like Cherry Banana mixed with Blue Berries."
He chuckled. Suddenly he turned serious. He turned his head and wouldn't look at me.
"Rob, are you okay?" I asked. I put my hand in the middle of his chest. He covered it withboth of his.
"Hal?" He said.
Not answering, I waited for more.
"Hal?" He turned and looked up at me. "You meant what you said, didn't you?"
I thought a moment about what I had admitted to him yesterday in my state of fury.
"Yes, I meant it, although I didn't mean to tell you."
He turned his face away from me again. He was silent a long time.
"I feel the same way about you." He said in a near whisper.
"I know."
He turned back to me.
"How do you know? I just figured it out."
"I can tell just by the way you look at me sometimes."
"Oh," And then. " You know this can't go anywhere as long as we're in the service."
"Yeah, I know."
"We both have less than a year."
After that day I was celibate. Why? I don't know still to this day. I guess I had just had enough of sex without love. I loved Rob. I could not have sex with him so I just did without. At least until John Peyton showed up.
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