THIS STORY IS TOTALLY FICTITIOUS. IT CONTAINS DESCRIPTIVE SEX BETWEEN MEN. IF THIS IS OFFENSIVE TO YOU GO ELSE WHERE. IF IT IS ILLEGAL FOR YOU TO BE READING IT YOU SHOULDN'T BE HERE TO BEGIN WITH, SO JUST GO AWAY. OTHERWISE, MAY YOU ENJOY IT. JWS
FROM OUT OF NOWHERE Chapter 3
It was in late November, 1963. Thanksgiving had past me unnoticed. The day was overcast, foggy and chilly. It matched my mood. I stared out at the leaden gray Atlantic. There were hardly any waves, just a restless little lapping at the sand. I sat on a big sand dune amongst the sea oats, watching the killdeers and sandpipers having a great day with the extra low tide. They were running around madly sticking their long beaks into the sand, while the gulls stood around morosely watching. I sat with my knees drawn up to my chest with my chin propped on my crossed arms that rested on top of my knees. I had my heavy overcoat pulled tightly about me.
I contemplated my unhappy state of mind. I was getting more than my share of sex. I should have been as contented a bullfrog in a swarm of flies, yet that was not making me happy. I felt that I was little more than a sex machine . I had no intimacy or love in my life.
I scanned the beach in both directions. There wasn't a human in sight. I stood up, spread my arms and screamed at the heavens. "I want someone to love me, ME, not my just my body!!!" I sat back down feeling foolish and lonelier than ever. I pulled my knees back up and buried my face in my arms.
After a few minutes I raised my head. I suddenly had a feeling that I wasn't alone on the beach. I looked in both directions and saw no one. And then from out of nowhere, this solitary man comes strolling out of the mist toward me.
I watched him as he neared; he was looking for something. I don't think he saw me. He stopped directly in front of me and stared out at the ocean, and then up and down the beach. Suddenly he turned around and studied the dunes. I didn't move a muscle. The sea oats fairly well hid me. And then, his eyes lighted on me. He grinned and nodded. He walked up and sat down beside me. I turned my head and studied him. He looked back at me with interest.
"You have a very strong stare, if you had closed your eyes I probably wouldn't have seen you. And you broadcast very strongly too." He said.
I raised my eyebrows in inquiry.
"I felt you a half mile up the beach and came looking for you."
"Why?" I asked.
"I can feel that you are lonely. Your emotions are crying out for someone to care about you."
"You can feel that?"
"Yeah, I can."
"So you're a psychic or a telepath or what?" I felt like I should be annoyed by his intrusion, but I found I welcomed it.
"No. I'm just able to pickup on emotions sometime. It used to scare me when I was a kid. Especially when it was anger. I would hide in the back of the closet so it couldn't find me. My mother finally convinced me that such emotions weren't aimed at me, and that hiding didn't do any good anyway. She has the same ability."
"And you picked up on my thoughts and came seeking me out?"
"Yeah, but not the thoughts just the emotion involved with the thoughts."
He placed his arm around my shoulder. It was so comforting and warm. I leaned into him without even thinking about what I was doing. We sat like that for several minutes, our bodies against each other, his arm around my shoulder, neither of us speaking. I had never felt so comfortable being this close to another human being, except for maybe my parents. Finally he broke the silence.
"Robert McGuire."
I nodded. He was a big handsome redhead, obviously of Scottish/Irish descent. There was a major league baseball pitcher in recent years that reminds me so much of Robert then. I think they may have shared the same last name.
"Your Irish." I said.
"Grandparents on both sides were from Ireland."
"Hal Jordan. Heinz 57." I said.
"That's your school and graduation date, right?" He laughed.
"No. That's the way my mom describes our heritage, European, but very mixed. Mostly English I suppose.'
"You're from the base?"
"Medic. Airman 1st class."
"Admin. Same."
I had never Let anyone inside of my comfort zone like I was doing with him. We continued to talk, telling each other about ourselves until it started getting dark. Robert looked at his watch.
"Damn. They're going to lock our cars in if we don't get a move on."
"I walked down."
"Well, come on, you can go with me."
We ran up the beach to the parking lot and jumped into his car. As we sped out the gate we didn't see the park ranger. Robert sighed with relief.
"I got locked in here once. I had to walk back to the base, and then come back the next day to get my car." He said, as he turned south on to the coast highway.
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"Just down the road a bit. Have you ever sat on those big dunes at Murrell's Inlet?"
"Yeah, but not at night."
"You'll love it."
We drove the few miles in quiet. I wondered why I felt so easy and at peace with myself sitting in the car with a man I had just met. I didn't question it too much. I was relaxed and enjoying the feelings of not having to be on guard. I looked at the big man next to as he concentrated on driving. He was not my competitor; I viewed most men in those days as such. No, I wasn't sure of how to classify him but I definitely had no need to compete with him to prove myself a man. Nordid he seem to be lusting after my body.
We parked in the same location that Miki and I had months before. When we got out of the car, Robert suggested we walk down the beach. There was little light although there had been a full moon a few nights before. Every once in a while it would appear momentarily as there was a break in the scudding clouds.
When we reached the inlet we turned inland and followed it a ways and then Robert grabbed my hand and pulled me up one of the big hills of sand. When we reached the top he collapsed, pulling me down with him. We were laughing like a couple of kids at play.
Robert sat up facing the inlet. The lights from the restaurant, docks and boats glittered in reflection on the still water.
"Pretty isn't it?"
"Yeah, all the grunginess is hidden." I said, as I lay beside him.
"Romantic." He squeezed my shoulder. I laid my head in his lap, agreeing.
He had a hand on my chest. We talked intermittently, but mostly just enjoyed the closeness and comfort of being together. We discovered that we were both from Southern Califonia. I told him about Miki and Michael. I described what an enchantress Miki was. He said he would like to meet her. I thought about that, imagining Miki seducing him with her big liquid chocolate eyes. At the thought of her touching him I felt a jealousy toward her like I had never experienced before with anyone. I didn't want her touching him. I sloughed off the image. I wasn't the keeper for either of them. I told him it could possibly happen. The sharp edge was suddenly gone from what I had been feeling. He must have picked up on it.
"It's getting late we had better head back to the base." He said.
"Yeah, I go on duty at seven."
As we walked back to his car, he kept his arm around my shoulder. He walked me up to the passenger's side.
"Feeling better?" He asked.
"Yeah, much. Thanks."
"Hey, it's my pleasure." He took my face in his hands and kissed me, tenderly and gently, on my lips. Fireworks started going off behind my eyelids. I'd had sparks before, but huge rocket bursts were something I'd never experienced. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug. He hugged me back just as fiercely, and then pulled away, laughing nervously.
"Hey, let's not get carried away here. We're in the military."
The kiss must have shaken him up, too.
We rode in silence back to the base. He parked between his barracks and mine. I was having regrets about having disclosed so much of my personal life to him. I realized that even though he had talked a lot about himself, he hadn't really disclosed anything really personal about himself. I didn't even know if he liked men or women or both. He turned in his seat and looked at me for several moments.
"I really enjoyed sharing the afternoon and evening with you, Hal." He grabbed the back of my neck and rubbed his hand through the short hair on the back of my head. "Be easy on yourself. Things will work out. They always do. I'll call you tomorrow."
I smiled at him.
"Good night, Robert. Thanks." I said. I opened the door and got out. I started toward my quarters.
"Tomorrow." He called after me. I turned, waved and continued on.
Over the next few weeks we talked at least every other day, often went out for dinner and/or a movie. He always had a hand on my shoulder or the back of my neck. I basked in the love and friendship he offered. I wanted so much for our relationship to move into the next step, towards being lovers. But I wouldn't push it. I was still uncertain how he felt other than wanting to be friends, and I didn't want to fuck up what we had.
About this time Michael found someone else to fuck him and started pushing me away. I was thankful; I had never been comfortable in my relationship with him, and I was really tired of all the baggage he carried around. I think he continued to dick Miki occasionally. I didn't really care. I continued doing her, too. Our relationship was stagnating, but so what, we were two beautiful people that enjoyed being seen with each other. We knew each other well enough to give each other great pleasure in bed. Miki verbally filled my head with fantasies of strong virile men while I pleasured every erogenous zone on her lovely body. I sometimes imagined myself to be no more than a living dildo when I was in bed with her.
Christmas was nearing and Miki wanted to have a big party. So under the guise of the theatre club giving the party, Miki volunteered her house. The Airman's Club even supplied some funds for food and drink. I invited Robert. She invited all the handsome young men that were always flirting with her. She was in her thirties and just reaching the heights of her sexuality. At least that's what she was always telling me; she was ascending and I was declining. I had supposedly reached my sexual peak at the tender age of seventeen. It was another of her one-upmanship games.
The party started off okay. But as I drank (after introducing me to Champagne Miki introduced me to Chianti and Lambrusco) I became more jealous of her flirting activities. I stayed at her side the whole evening and ended up being the last one leave. That was the next morning about ten o'clock, after having slept with her the rest of the night. Miki had no objection to my actions; I think she thoroughly enjoyed being vied for. Plus I cleaned up the house while she continued sleeping off the effect of all the revelry.
Early in the evening Miki had started flirting with Robert but when he saw how I felt about it he backed off and left early. I felt really bad about that, but I had my macho image to uphold. I was in the military.
There was another doctor at the party that was a real Lothario. Through out the evening I had succeeded in thwarting his every effort to get in to Miki's panties. The next evening when I went on duty he was on duty, too. Every time I would get near him he would start singing or whistling "Me and my Shadow" which was a popular song of the day. He changed the words to fit the situation: "Miki and her Shadow.
In the weeks after the party if I ran into him with other people around he invariably would greet me with "Hi, Shadow," or "There goes da shadow." One day I had to speak to another doctor who was having lunch. He was sitting at the officer's table with several other doctors including Dr. "Lothario." As I approached the table he said, "Here comes da Shadow." I smiled at him and replied, "Green doesn't become you, Sir." He turned red. And I added, "That's a better color, Sir." He glowered at me. I turned to the doctor that I had come into the dining hall to see and had my question answered. As I walked away Dr. L. started whistling the tune again. I turned and gave him a smart salute and whisk out the door leaving him to answer the curiosity of his compatriots.
Most of the other personnel in the room knew what it was all about and there was much chuckling before the good doctor shoved his food tray into the KP window and stomped out.
The hospital commander was sitting at the table, too, and later in the day I was called into his office.
"Airman Jordan, did I or did I not witness you harassing Dr. L. at lunch today?"
"No sir, you did not, sir." I answered.
"I didn't hear what was said between the two of you, but I definitely saw him blush. What did you say that embarrassed him, Jordan?"
"Sir, with all due respect, I don't think it is my place to tell you. It would be disrespectful of the doctor's rank, Sir."
"That is so much bullshit, Jordan. If you can't tell me than I suppose I could ask anyone of the other doctors, officers or enlisted men in this hospital. They were all snickering and tittering when you walked out of the dining room. And I got the definite impression that they weren't snickering at you."
"No, Sir, they were not snickering at me."
"Alright, I command you to tell me what the joke is. Now!"
"Well, Sir, The good doctor and I have been competing for the attentions of the same lady. So far she has preferred me. That irks the doctor, Sir. Therefore, he taunts me by singing or whistling a song that intimates that I am her shadow. I simply told him today that green didn't become him. And when he blushed I told him that color looked much better on him. When I left the table he whistled the tune and I turned and saluted him. That's all, Sir."
The colonel sat back in his chair and chortled at my tale.
"So Dr. Lothario has been bested. Congratulations, Airman Jordan. Well done." He chuckled some more. "You may go, young man." I exited his office with him still laughing.
~
Two months of so later she had another little party. Robert didn't show, even though I knew she had invited him. I sat in the corner and morosely sipped red wine until I was well on my way to being drunk. I sat there watching all these guys vieing for her attention and favors. It reminded me of flies on a piece of dead meat. I started feeling ill. I got up and headed for the bathroom making it just in time to lose the contents of my stomach down the toilet. I cleaned myself up, slinked out the back door and found my way back to my quarters. The next day I felt worse thatn I had ever felt before after a night of debachery.
That evening Robert called and ask me to meet him at the PX cafeteria. We both got a beer and found a quiet corner. He studied his beer for a long time as I quietly sipped mine; waiting for him to say whatever was bothering him.
"Miki called me at work today. She asked me to take her out clubbing Friday night."