Thanks to all the nice comments. It inspired me to continue writing what happened. Each line I type I have to remember a bit and fill in the blanks from almost 15 years ago, so bear with me. Anyway, back to the story....
So where we left off, Justin was still sleeping in the morning and I was looking at him while he slept. I almost felt guilty about what we did because I hoped he didn't end up falling in love with me. I was as close to in love with him as I could be without loving him, but I think he would be thinking differently. My issue was I did still like women, I loved being with guys, but I never wanted a serious relationship with a guy. I mean I have no problem keeping my thing with Justin going, and I cared for him, but I could never openly date him. I didn't want to go any further together until he understood what was going on between us. He might be gay and looking for a boyfriend, I was bi and looking for a fuck friend, so I had to figure that out. I didn't want to hurt him, and the earlier we get that settled the better. I would love to be his bro and have benefits on the side, but I couldn't walk to class with him holding hands. He started to wake up late morning, I had already showered and brought food back from the cafe for both of us.
Justin: Hey, you got up early.
Me: Yea, I'm an early riser, I brought you some food from the cafe.
Justin: Cool, you wanna play madden?
Me: Sure, you stink though take a shower haha
He just gave me a dirty look and started taking his clothes off. Another big step for him, he wasn't afraid to be naked around me. I told him we need to have a talk after his shower about a few things, by the way he looked at me he seemed to know what I was going to talk about. He came back from his shower and started getting dressed and I said:
Me: Last night was awesome, but you know we can't be a couple right?
Justin: Yea...I know
Me: I don't mean to be so blunt about it, but we need to set a few rules.
Justin: Do you even love your girlfriend?
Me: Wow, where did that come from?
Justin: I really like you Brandon, not just last night, but everything....hanging out, playing games, I think you are gonna ditch me once your girlfriend comes tomorrow.
Now I was the one without words, I never expected him to understand the situation better than me. I started thinking about his words....no I didn't love my girlfriend, she just gave me sex, and Justin gave me more than she ever did. I mean that in all senses of the word. We were buds, hung out, played games together, drank together...and after last night had sex together. He started giving me a scrunched face while this was running through my head, it actually was almost a minute before I responded...but he did first.
Justin: I'm not a kid Brandon, I know you are older than me, but you don't need to treat me like one and think about what you are going to say before you speak because you are afraid of hurting my feelings.
Me: I wasn't thinking about that at all Justin. I was figuring things out, thats all. You want a serious talk? Ok we will have one.
Justin: You don't love her at all do you? You just use her for sex, like me.
Me: No, No dude, wow, umm you are half right. I do use her for sex and she is insane, but I didn't use you....I am rethinking everything right now.
Justin: Well I don't want the fucking food you brought back, I'm going to breakfast alone, you better fucking figure it out when I come back, because if you don't I'll never be back.
He left and slammed the door. I was crushed inside, I let down my buddy and had no idea what to think. I had to make a decision, I mean I wanted to get married and have kids (which I did) but at this point in my life I still wanted to experiment with guys. I still to this day will acknowledge a cute guy and drool. But this was college. I decided. Justin came back with food, and had a stern look on his face. I stood up and gave him a big hug and kiss on the cheek.
Me: You were right, we can be together, but we need to keep it under the radar.
Justin: Thats it? I'm the whore on the side?
Me: I called Michelle (my GF) and told her I found someone else, I'm not helping her move in tomorrow and we have the whole day together.
Justin: So now what?
Me: We just need to be careful about us, its the best for me and you Jus.
Justin:....yea, you're right. I'm not pissed anymore, I can't believe you dumped Michelle for...this or me or whatever it is.
Me: For you man, you have been cool to hang with this last week, and ya know, the bonus round :).
He laughed and we hugged. He ate his food, but I was still thinking in my head. It was still spinning as usual. I think I was starting to fall in love with him, but it went against everything I had planned. We had been together a week, and man still those glasses and his face. Just cute as shit, I can't explain it. But I had to remember he wasn't a kid, he was smart and I couldn't treat him like a kid even though I was older. So I took the kid gloves off as he finished eating, I asked.
Me: So what do you want from this Jus?
Justin: You, I want to be with you as much as I can. I don't care if it is sex or playing games or whatever, (he started crying) its just so fucking nice to have someone in my life that wants to hang out with me...
I hugged him and sat on the bed and he fell in my lap. I was feeling so shitty I let him down before. He was a great kid, and I hated that I had something to do with making him feel bad. I had to make a move. Something that went against everything that made me feel comfortable where I was. I was going to...well,
Me: Ok, how about we talk to Ben about switching rooms?
Justin: Wha...what do you mean?
Me: He can take my single and you and I can move in together across the hall. It will give him his privacy getting pussy, and we can do our thing together in a bigger space...
Justin: You are serious?
Me: Yep, fuck it, I'd rather be with you than be alone in this room, plus my thing with Michelle is gone and I'm sure she will be bad mouthing me around campus.
Justin: You don't always have to justify a decision Brandon, I want this, but don't make it like you have no other alternative.
Me: You're right, I'm sorry. I do want to room with you seriously, nothing else involved.
Justin: Ok.
I had called Michelle and told her I found someone else, she wasn't even pissed, so I started to dig a little bit and it happened that she was banging a 28 year old art teacher during the summer. So that was it. This younger, smaller naive kid was giving me the business. And I don't blame him. I deserved it. I was looking for a suck/fuck buddy, but found a kid that wanted affection and wanted to be loved. I talked to Ben and he was all for it. I talked to housing and said I could be like a mentor to Justin and we got really along good. They agreed and we swapped rooms. It was me and Justin in the double room, and Ben moved across the hall to my old single. Ben asked me what the fuck are you thinking giving up a single? I just said that it made sense, you need privacy, and I dont....my GF (who I broke up with, but he didnt know) lived in a single, so if I needed to be alone I would stay with her. It would give him plenty of privacy for whatever. He said, "Yea good point, I kinda thought Justin was a little queer anyway." I wanted to hit him, but I didn't, I just smiled and went back into my new room....unfortunatly Justin did hear what Ben said.
Justin: He called me a queer Brandon....
Me: Calm down Jus, you need to choose your battles dude. Ben isn't a bad kid, just a little...what do you call it?
Justin: Queer?
Me: Hahah, that works.
We both smiled and finished the move. We changed the room style so it was open, we had beds on both sides of the room now. We just started talking and drinking a little. Thankfully I was free from helping Michelle move in, so we had another day together. As the whiskey kept flowing and it was late afternoon, he started opening up a little more. He told me he never even smoked weed before, and I had thought he smoked weed by the posters, but he never did. I had a little stash I got from my older brother before I came back to school. I don't smoke it all the time, but every now and then, why not. He just assumed the role of a stoner in highschool so he could connect with other people. The only thing that made me feel bad for him was that each time he told me something he was ashamed of, he thought it would make me hate him.
Me: Jus, this isn't highschool anymore, you don't need to pretend or make up a fake cover story. I don't care about any of that. You did what you had to in highschool to survive, its over. If you want to talk about it I will listen.
Justin: I know, its just tough being me after pretending to be someone for a long time.
Me: Well at least we can stay up late again and just chill if you want, my first class isn't until 11am and you don't have a class until 10.
Justin: Its so weird, you go to school 8 hours a day for 4 years, then you go to college and you only have class for 3 hours a day.
Me: Biggest problem is you have no mom to wake you up and yell at you....you have to motivate yourself to go to class.
Justin: Did you have problems with that?
Me: At first yea, but I didn't have a buddy to wake me up and push me, I'll make sure your ass is up and ready for class.
Justin came over and hugged me. I told him we needed to get dinner before we drank anymore. I was gonna see if he wanted to smoke a little weed later too, just to get him exposed to more things. He had pretended to be a stoner for a long time, I wanted to see if he really wanted to try it. Let me just say, he had come a mile from where he was when he first arrived. He was still a little worried about some things, I could tell, but we were sharing a room together now and he felt safe. We went to dinner and came back around 6pm. He wanted to play madden, so we did, god his facial expressions were so cute when he made a good play. Still to this day, we are still friends, his face is still so unique and amazing...and the glasses, damn.
We played for a bit, and then he put the controller down and looked over at me.
Justin: I'm tired of playing, lets do something else.
He grabbed my dick through my jeans and started rubbing my chest under my shirt. I told him put some music on so Ben doesn't hear us across the hall. He did. It was top 10 stuff from the era, like Creed or Matchbox 20 stuff, I don't remember the exact songs (except one which I will talk about later - its important in the story). Napster was in its high time, and we just downloaded whatever. He tried to take my clothes off with his teeth and failed miserably haha. I think he did it more as a joke and we both laughed and stipped to our boxers. He was so small to my frame (I was 6 inches taller and good build), but so beautiful with his short hair, glasses, and that amazing face....just amazing. I was half hard, he was tenting like no one's business. I guess he had been horny for awhile and was just playing madden with me to wait until I wanted to fool around. We kissed a little bit and felt each other up, then he had an idea.
Justin: I want to drink some more whiskey and pour it into your mouth with mine.
Me: You better not drink any, I want the whole shot in my mouth :)
So we played around doing weird stuff, probably because of the booze, and he was finally feeling free from his former life. I know he liked the sex, but he also liked that he finally had someone he could just go nuts with and knew he wouldn't be judged. It was fun, whatever weird stuff he wanted to try out, it was fine with me. Two guys in underwear with hardons playing around...it was amazing. I took his dick out and dipped it in the whiskey and for about 5 mins, thats how I got my next drink. He was between laughing and almost cumming the entire time. I stood up and asked him if he wanted to smoke a litte weed.
Justin: You have weed?
Me: Yea I lied before, I smoke on occasion, my older brother got me some to bring back to school.
Justin: I'm not sure, I don't want to end up looking stupid or anything...
I reminded him I just took shots of whiskey off his dick and balls, and he laughed. He was still worried he would do something that would make me hate him, I had to reassure him again.
Me: Justin, you aren't gonna do anything to make me not like you. Stop thinking like that dude.
Justin: I know in my head, but sometimes I don't know and I feel like if you really know me, you'll just find someone else to hang with.
Me: We live together now, housing won't let me move again unless you die basically, so we are stuck together now whether you like it or not.
Justin: I want to smoke with you.
Me: I'm not forcing you Jus, I just want you to see what its like.
Forceful Justin came back into light, and he told me to fill the pipe. He went over and put the box fan in the window and he was ready. He got like that sometimes. So submissive and naive sometimes, and then when he made up his mind about something, that was it. I had to teach him how to smoke out of the pipe, how to hold his fingers and told him the other ways we could smoke weed. We smoked back and forth for a bit, we even kissed a little bit trying to shotgun the smoke back and forth. He was really stoned, as I was. But I was used to it, and he wasn't. He got super horny and started clawing at my boxer briefs. I told him hold on, lets go to my bunk, get naked...it was time to 69. He tasted amazing again, I was going slow on his slim almost 6 incher, but he was going to town on my cock. He kept trying to deep throat it and fail each time. I told him it didn't matter and to use his mouth on the back of my tip like I was doing to him. I would like to say we both came at the same time, but we didn't. He came in my mouth and passed out haha. Booze and first time smoking weed did him in. It was still only 6pm and I knew he would be up in a few hours. Needless to say, I had a huge case of blue balls that needed to be fixed later.
I played a little nhl 99, played like shit because I was high, and then went back to the bed he was on and just watched him sleep. I loved to watch him sleep, his whole world had just been changed in one week and I was glad I was the reason. He always had a little smile when he slept, it might be because I swallowed his load before he passed out, but who knows. This young kid who was attractive and amazing to hang with was treated like shit for 4 years in highschool. I was so glad I found him. He woke up about 2 hours later, and I was laying out clothes for tomorrow. He looked like a wreck haha.
Justin: wow, I feel like shit man...
Me: you look like shit too, booze and weed combination are for the experienced.
Justin: I'm gonna take a shower, you want to join me?
Me: The whole suite is back dude, and I just took one.
Justin: I know, I just wanted to see how daring you would be.
He smiled, I smiled back and he grabbed his shower gear and headed out of the room. This little shit, I think I created a monster with him. I heard a loud bang outside the room and went into the hallway. One of the other suitemates Brett had knocked Justin's shower gear out of his hand and was laughing. He looked at me like he wanted to fight me. Brett was bigger than me, height and weight, but he was 18 and probably was never in a fight in his life. I told Justin to go shower and I will talk to Brett.
Me: How is that funny Brett?
Brett: Because people laughed at it.
New approach now. I can see he was clearly a bully in highschool and wanted to carry that legacy on to college. Not just this experience, but other dealings too.
Me: I'm gonna wait outside your room, and each morning for the next week knock your shower bag out of your hand on the way to the shower, I have the fucking time dude.
Brett: Come on man, it was a joke.
Me: And so will what I do, people will laugh when they see what I do to you, except I'll have the entire hockey team here to witness it and take pictures. Sounds fair? As long as people laugh its a joke right?
Brett: Fine, I'm sorry.
Me: Tell Justin you are sorry, not me. He is my roomate now, you fuck with him, you fuck with me. And if he comes back and tells me its some half assed attempt at saying you are sorry, you will be sorry bitch!
I turned around and went back to my room glad I didn't need to throw punches. I don't like to fight, I was a goaltender in hockey my entire life so I never did fight in game. I also just never liked the whole fighting thing when words can solve the issue easier and send a clearer message. Don't get me wrong, my body was built for fighting, but my mind was not. Justin didn't go in the shower, he was standing behind the door in the bathroom I found out later. He heard everything Brett and I said between each other. After he came back from showering he hugged me and french kissed me. I mean really deep long french kiss. He just said thanks, and told me Brett said he was legit sorry, we never talked about his thing with Brett again to this day, and he never had another problem with him.
So now its about 8pm or so, Justin is getting his shit together for class tomorrow and I am doing the same thing. He never got dressed from his shower and comes over to me and starts biting my ear. I laughed a little bit and asked him what he was doing.
Justin: Lets drink some more and fuck around.
Me: You really want to fuck around?
Justin: We just did before the shower Brandon, right?
Me: I mean the word fuck.
Justin: We can try it, I, I'm not sure though, your dick is pretty big.
Me: I'm not gonna hurt you dude, if you want to stop, just say it.
He was scared. I don't blame him actually, although I wasn't hung like a horse, I was big enough to cause some pain. This was the only time I considered in my life to let someone fuck me. His dick was skinny and not too big, but after I suggested it to Justin, he said no. He never told me why. He wanted me to fuck him. I told him we could make out and I would finger him awhile to make it easier when we fuck. He started drinking more and more, almost like it seemed he was trying to kill the pain with alcohol when we started. It did not feel sexual and my dick was not responding from what I was seeing.
Me: Justin, I can tell you are scared, we don't have to have sex tonight man.
Justin: (Drunk) I owe you from protecting me tonight.
Me: Dude, we aren't in prison, and you are not my bitch....I would love to fuck you, believe me, but not like this, go to bed.
Justin: I love the world, I love polar bears, I love college!
He was shitfaced, I kissed him goodnight. He tried to grab me into his bed but he was too weak. He was my smart little sexy glasses wearing roomate now.