FORGETTING THE PAST
Chapter 1
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-Elmet! After three years.
-Hello, Dad.
-I suppose you have phoned to curse me. You have the right.
I was calling my father, Ethan March. He was 46. When I left home he was a garbage collector. I hadn't talked to him since I was 24.
-Dad, if I were still mad at you, I would not have called you. You are my father and I want to recover you. When I was 22, I lost my mother and two years later I thought I had also lost you for good. But you are alive and I love you. I would like to see you again after all. Despite the fact that you raped me 379 times.
-I also counted them, Elmet. Well, I want to apologize. Sometimes I have thought that I must be sick. But let me tell you that you are in danger with me. I don't know why you make me so horny but if we ever met, I could rape you again. I think I am not bisexual but you have something that arouses me above any other consideration. In fact I should say I am a heterosexual man but Elmetsexual too. Listen to me: when you have phoned I was naked at home and it has been hearing your voice and I have began to wank. In fact I am right now. I have been wanking over you for years. Of course I love you. You are the person I love most in this world but your ass, you, must have something that makes me out of control.
-Dad, I don't like hearing you say you are sick. And you are doing everything possible so I don't visit you again. But I notice in your voice once again that you are a sweet man. After your continuous rapes I knew you were tender with me, just as you were before the day I was 21 and my birthday present was my father raping me.
-Maybe I should tell you some things about me, about you or even about your mother that may help you understand something. I know I owe you some explanations, but I don't know if you would like to hear them.
-Dad, are you still jacking off?
-I am. I cannot help it and if you don't stop this conversation, I could even cum.
-What's the use of jacking off if you don't cum? Go on, Dad. I don't care. And please tell me something about mom, you and me.
-Well, I met Sarah in a chat. I soon discovered she was a masochist and I could not believe how easily I turned into a sadistic man.
-Dad, you'd better say sado man rather than sadistic.
-What's the difference?
-A sadistic man would be someone who tortures somebody just for the pleasure of torturing, like some people have done in history. Whereas, a sado man is somebody who by doing the same things, wants the pleasure of the person he tortures too. Pleasure for both, can you see the difference?
-I can, but then I was sadistic with you.
-Forget that now.
-Well, I had to do even some things to her that I did not like, but I was thinking of her pleasure. I had to beat her and humiliate her. Of course never before you, and? but I think you wouldn't like this.
-Tell me, Dad. I want to know. I will always have a good memory of my mother but I want to know how she was. And I am sure she loved you. Every day I saw her happy and telling me how much she loved you. I guess she knew you raped me, didn't she?
-She did. Well, she knew that she had no chance but to accept this situation because years ago? oh, she was such a masochist that she even asked me to ruin her life, to even do something she could not stand. I was only nineteen then and I really was immature. But one day I planned something. I told her I would make her pregnant and she could not say no. But I added something more. I told her that if we had a daughter I would rape her the day she was 21 and the next day I told her that if we had a son, I would rape him too.
-So Dad, I have fulfilled my fate: now I know I was born to be raped or else I would never have been born. Dad, life is a gift and I thank you for having brought me to this world, even if I had to be raped.
-Tell me something, Elmet. Are you happy in life? Do you even have a good sexual life?
-I am happy enough, Dad. I work as a gardener and like it. My sexual life is good. I have had as many as twelve girls so far. My life is not ruined.
-Do you mind talking about sex with me now?
-If I have to talk to you, Dad, we'd better talk about sex. Not all children and their parents do. And I had to know all you have told me today. Mum was a masochist, you are a sado man and I was born to be raped. A curious family. But well, I want to recover you and we can talk about this. And believe me: you have always been like this: the more aroused you were, the sweeter. I don't care you are aroused, because I know this way you will behave sweet with me.
-I cannot believe you are allowing me all this. It is wonderful to know about you again and I really love you. But believe me you are still in danger. The more aroused I am, the sweeter, ok. But that would not prevent I can rape you again if I saw you.
-Dad, I want to see you and tell you a story, something that happened to me last night. Imagine I want to tell you I was beaten up, for instance.
-You had better not tell me, Elmet. You know I am a sado man, a sadistic man with you. It would be awful for you that I listened to your story with a boner.
-Then listen to me with a boner, Dad, for I know you are sweet and if later I needed some consolation, I know I would be comforted by my tender daddy.
-Well, I don't know why you want to tell your story precisely to me, but ok, so be it.
-I really want to see you again, Dad.
-Then we might meet in a bar, a park, any street. Wherever you tell me, but not at home, please Elmet. I'd love to kiss you and hug you again, to know about you, to have father and son conversations again. But please, Elmet. Do not do it. I am afraid I could not control myself and I would rape you again.
-You cannot rape me anymore, Dad.
-Can't I? Are you gonna cut my balls or something?
-Hell, no, Dad. I don't want to do you any harm. You must understand first, Dad, that I really want to see you, to recover you. I live in a flat for myself but I don't like it much and I would even like to live again with you. You are the most important thing in my life now and that's the only thing that matters. So, I want you to understand this. I could never see you again and this way I would prevent you from raping me or I could accept the situation and be happy again with a father I love so much. Not seeing you again is what would make me unhappy forever. Once a friend told me something, nothing to do with sex, but I remembered his words and that has made me phone you today. It is very simple that. Since your letting your dick in my ass is unavoidable, I can give you my consent, Dad. Now I only want to be your son again and since it is inevitable, Dad, I will give you my ass so you can fuck me now. Now you won't rape me, Dad. You will fuck me. It is different. I've been sufficiently fucked to know this: it can even be pleasant. It was not with you because I had pain, not physical pain except the first time, but psychological pain. I could not understand it. You were quite affectionate with me later. One day I could not stand this state of things anymore and I left home but that way I lost you. But now, Dad, when you fuck me I could even jack off. It would be something tender between us now. You will have fun with my arse again and maybe every day cause I would like to live with you.
-Elmet, I am sorry to say that I have cummed.
-Good, Dad.
-Will you really give me your ass?
-I will, Dad. Have you raped anybody else?
-I haven't. Only you, I promise.
-Dad, listen to me now. When I tell you my story, can you wait till I finish and then you will fuck me?
-I promise you I shall wait, but I cannot promise you I won't rape you.
-You won't rape me anymore, Dad. You will fuck me now. Ok, so please wait for me to finish my story first. And I would like to ask you not to ra? I mean fuck me in these two situations. I hate being suddenly awakened. So please, Dad, don't fuck me when I am asleep. You have all day for that. Even during my sleep, I would not consider it rape, but please don't do it. In case you are really aroused when I am asleep, well, I can sleep totally nude with open door. You can enter and wank seeing my nudity if you are really Elmetsexual. But don't touch me or I will wake up.
-I promise.
-And do not do it every morning before I have a coffee. You know that I have not recovered my senses and I am not myself. I can be having my coffee quietly close to you and you can tell me you are horny and want to fuck me when I finish coffee. Well, I promise when I have ended breakfast, you can fuck me again. So, Dad, you can fuck me now every day after my first morning coffee till the hour I go to bed. But Dad, I have to tell you something more. I don't know how to say this. I would not like you thinking I behave as a bitch. I give you sex now in return for something.
-Elmet, my dear Elmet. Now listen to me. Anybody can prostitute himself. You could if you had the need and wanted to. I could prostitute myself too. Everybody can. So it would be easy for you to do it, but you could do it anywhere and never with a man that has tormented you so much and never for your own father. So believe me I do not think that of you. You know I am a garbage collector. I do not have a fortune. I have saved enough to bequeath it to you, of course, as all parents do. You could also inherit this house but you know very well it is not large or flourishing. You are no bitch and I will never think that.
-Thank you, Dad.
-I think I should tell you some things first. You will hate me and you won't make something stupid coming to me again.
-I see you are constantly saying things to me so I do not visit you again, Dad, but I really want to see you.
-Your mother loved my smell. You know I always stink and have a shower only once a month.
-Dad, if she loved your smell, you were pleasing her.
-I did more things. I was really filthy with her. I used to make her mouth my toilet. Now you know.
-You can tell me, Dad. I am sure whatever you did, she liked you.
-Thank you, Elmet. Well, I pissed, shat or even puked in her mouth; I farted, spat, blew my nose, she had to eat the rot in my nails, all that. I have jacked off many times in these past few years watching porn movies with shit, scat movies they are called. If there is shit I see any kind of movie. I have seen girls shitting girls, girls shitting boys, boys shitting girls and even boys shitting boys. I was not aroused at their naked bodies, but watching them doing that. But something different is you: I am quite Elmetsexual.
-Dad, believe me I am not angry at you. You can get horny at what you prefer and as for mum, I know how she loved you and now I know she was a masochist I know all that could be a dream for her. Tell me, Dad. Did you ever do something to her that she did not like?
-Never. Believe me, Elmet. But sometimes I could not help but think that all this could have made her ill, even though we know very well she died of AIDS. Well, we were an open couple. Both of us had sex with other people. She knew I liked it when she told me she had cheated me and I did the same. I never punished her for that. So, she had sex with many men and finally she got AIDS. But I was her only master.
-So, can I visit you, Dad?
-Elmet, I have been sadistic with you and I could humiliate you. Look, we sometimes did things like what I call the doggie scene. We lived together for two years before we had you. We were naked in the living room and I ordered her to go to our bedroom and fetch my slippers. She went there on all fours, moving her arse and saying woof. She got my slippers, put them in her mouth and brought them to me with them in her mouth and saying woof, approached them to my feet and then I could order her first to lick my feet or to blow me for instance.
-Dad, I'd rather do the doggie scene than losing you forever. Do I have to, Dad?
-You don't have to. But I could prefer for instance to see you stark naked when you tell me your story.
-I have never been a nudist. I have only been naked in the usual situations: going to the shower or making love to a girl. But I would. So, Dad, all you want is fucking me and seeing me stark naked when I am telling you my story?
-It is a lot, but would you?
-Dad, I want you to understand that I only want to see you again. Nothing else matters. And I know that if you are really aroused first, you will be again a sweet man. So I will tell you my story stark naked and you will fuck me later. Anything else?
-No, Elmet.
-So, be glad, Dad, soon you will be fucking me. For the first time, remember. When can I go and see you?
-I will be at home all day. Mostly now when I know you want to see me. Where do you live?
-King Edmund street. I will get a taxi and I will be with you in half an hour.
-I want to know first: would you like me to have a shower as I am waiting for you?
-You'd better not, Dad. I would be unable to recognize you if you don't have the smell with which I have known you all my life.
-But I must tell you that I will be waiting for you jacking off again. I will put my clothes back on but I will. I cannot help it.
-Then have fun again, Dad. Oh, how I desire to see you again. Be happy: I want to be your son and friend now. You have told me so many things that now we needn't keep any secrets for ourselves. We can talk about sex, even sadomasochism. I finish this conversation, Dad. I will get a taxi and in half an hour I'll be back home. Bye, Dad.
I went out straight away and caught a taxi. I really wanted to forget the past and start anew, to see my father again, even in new sexual conditions.