"This story contains scenes of an adult nature, concerning two females, if
This is likely to offend you or you are under the legal age for your
Country/state please do not read on. This is property of the author; you may only copy/save this for your own reading pleasure... This story is completely fictional; any events that seem similar to any true events are strictly coincidental.
The author takes no responsibility."
Email comments and criticism, at... (celtic@mweb.com.na) ...Mel...
The letter...
"... Where to start...? Have you ever wanted to be with someone so bad you feel as if you can just reach out and grab them... pull them in so close so that they can hardly breath? Well... that's how I feel about you, I know you don't like me... goodness never mind love... but how is it I can love you so much? How is it that you light up my life with just your presents? I go into depths of sea every night, dreaming of you. I can't breath! I feel as if I can die! Die! Why cant this feeling just subside and be replaced by something like hatred? It would be so much easier for me... you know that?
Pffft... what would you know?
Well I won't be around tomorrow, I won't be there to bring you your coffee, or read you your schedule at lunch. I won't be your doormat from this moment on. I will be... just me I suppose I can say. I love you, now I hate you. Funny how love can turn to so much hatred, isn't it? I don't think you would, but anyways, here you go, a last letter from me to you... bye"
The letter was done. Sandra folded the letter up and put it into her jean pocket.
She got out the car keys and went out the front door of her little apartment. She didn't even bother locking her apartment as she got out and walked towards the little garage. Her apartment wasn't shady or filled up with a lot of luxury. She didn't see what it would help if she did have the most expensive apartment and TV set or anything like that. All she knew was that this was the last time she loved a woman that didn't show any interest in her what so ever.
Bit of past memories...
Hummmm... Thinking back, no one ever did. Sandra grew up in the middle east of a little countryside, near a small, forgotten town. All the people there were... well... I think it is fair to say they where not open minded, religious and just plain old fashioned. She was what I would like to call a geek. (Yes, I was one of the few kids at school who didn't have it as tough as she had it. I liked picking on people like her. She would be my pray so every now and then.)
That is where she became stronger. And Sandy the "four eyed freak" became Sandra... it was just a few years back come to think of it... It went something like this:
"I have had it! 18 years of eating your shit! This is it! You can't bear, to look into my face and see your daughter of 18 as a woman and a respectable human? Well then, that is that. All these years of not being good enough, all these years that I was not to do anything with my life are changing tonight!"
Sandra threw her bags onto her bed, crying and sobbing. This was truly happening. This was the day she had planed for so long, but only now got a chance to fore fill her dreams and walk away from the hellhole.
Funny, how it didn't feel as `right', as she planned it to be.
She threw all her clothes into her bag and others into boxes, carelessly throwing the rest of her valuables into another old box.
"Listen honey... it is not that we don't love you... but what will the church say? What will grandpa and grandma think? Come on now honey. You know your mother and I love you very much and all we want is the best for you! Now put down the bags... lets talk this through." Came her father and tried to talk her into staying. Probably because, he wanted, some free help around the shop or something.
"No thank you!" sobs "even now, you look at me like I am a criminal... some type of villain!" Sandra trembled as her voice shook and tears flowed freely from her eyes.
"Well what do you expect of us!? Huh!? What!? You are not normal! You like girls! I am sorry that I find that hard to deal with, you and I know that it is not how we raised you! That wasn't the plan! It never was! What did we do wrong!? Huh!? Tell me Sandra, I will fix it all up!" her father screamed and yelled on the top of his lungs.
"Nothing..." came Sandra's soft voice floating about the room. She sat on her bed. Just thinking about what was just said, as her mother walked in.
"You know Sandra... it is not too late to decline Tommy's offer... he wouldn't be that bad of a husband you know..." her mother hushed her as she sat down next to Sandra.
"Get away from me..." Sandra exclaimed. "I am what I am... and I will forever be!" she then threw the rest of her things into her bag and box and zipped it up and so on... she was now ready, ready as she would ever have been, to finely brush this towns dust off of her feet forever.
"I will come get this box when I feel like looking into your faces one day. And I doubt that I would!" she yelled at her parents as they where already walking out of the room.
Sandra took one last look at the room she had despised for the last few years of her life. She looked out her window. The window she would sit by when everything was dark, and only the moon and stars where on display. She would watch the moonlight dance over the acre lands her father had worked on.
She remembered all those years her relatives (including her grandparents and nephews and everyone possibly related to them) would come to visit, and she would just walk into the lands to get away from them. Her grandmother usually brought her a sweet to eat after Sunday supper. It was something special to look forward to in those days of growing up. She was always her grandmother's favorite, the one who got the most hugs and the most gifts whenever the opportunity raised itself.
Her grandfather said nothing at all. Never has he ever shown emotion in all the years she had seen him.
She walked out of the room, leaving all the little memories right there, captured between the walls. As she walked down the stares and heard hard wood crack beneath her feet, a lot of other memories filled up her mind, so did her eyes fill up with tears, the same old tears that where perpetual to her for years already... she saw herself standing by the door waiting on better days when she was still just a toddler, the same place she stood now, but only, this time she was going on a hunt for those so called better days.
She was never abused or anything dramatic like that what so ever, but there was a certain missing piece' (as I like to call it) in her life. Maybe that missing piece' was waiting for her out there somewhere...
She walked on the main road to town, and various truckers wanted to pick her up, but she had more common sense then the normal farm girls do. It wasn't really all that far, but yet it felt like it took forever to get to the bus station. Flashes of her mother sobbing by the kitchen table and her father sitting on the porch with a glass of his usual whisky went by as she kept her eyes on the future. All she saw was mist and fog, for the 1st time in her life, she felt free, not to mention and afraid...
"I know I am making a mistake... I just know it! I am going to pay long and hard for it too... I don't know where I am going...? Where I am going to stay...?" Sandra just began to sob again...
She was in the middle of talking to herself and in the middle of the road, when she heard a car hitting brakes and then swinging out of the road running right past her. The grinding and screeching sound of burning tiers, swiping over the black rivers of tar... Sandra felt her heart stop right then and there. The car ran into a tree and then everything went back to the normal old silence she was use to. She swallowed real hard and she was shacking... all her bags (the little she had) were thrown onto the road as she jumped out of the cars way...
She ran over to the car and with great anticipation, looked to see who was sitting inside of the car and if they where okay. She could not make out what the car looked like, it was far to dark, and the moonlight wasn't of very much help either.
When she got near and could almost make out the figure inside of the car, she heard her mother call for her...
"Sandy... Sandy..." came a weak voice...
"Yes! Yes! Mom I am here! I am here! I am here..." Sandra cried out and after that cried out for help... but the only thing to be heard was a distend voice of an echo...
The moonlight bounced off of the landscape and silence fell over the scene.
"Sandy... Tommy isn't much... but marry him. You will see... he isn't that bad... he just needs some encouragement. I love you and your father loves you as well... I am sorry I was so hard on you growing up, and I wanted to give you this before you went away..." her mother tried to move, but was pinned into a painful position inside of the car.
"Reach in here and take the necklace from my neck... there is a ring on it." Her mother said with pain and tears rolling down her face. She had a bit of sand on her face and the blood was dripping from her forehead slightly.
Sandra did as she was told, and cried uncontrollably.
The ring was silver with one diamond in it; it also had a thick lining...
She loved it, and can remember seeing it once in her live. She was playing dress up and putted on all of her mother's jewelry, when her mother came in, she got a spanking and her mother took `that' ring from her 1st...
"This was the ring your grandmother got married with, and her mother before her..." as her mother was talking her voice faded into the winds calm drift, she went into a deep sleep... never to awake again.
Sandra stood there, not knowing whether to cry, or to shout or to go get help.
"Mom..." Sandra sobbed some more and cried for what seemed to be 50 minute's or so...
She stood up straight, didn't call anyone, it was too late anyhow. She walked with only a bit of money in her pocket. She left her bag there for anyone who would find good use for it.
The present...
As, she drove down the street. She looked at her ring, it was a bit big for her finger, but it brought back memories. Memories filled with regret and pain. After that night, she grew up much quicker than she had expected herself to do. She never made all that much friends in the outside world as she though she would and all she really did was work She found a café joint the day after that night and she was still sobbing when Marsha came to her rescue.
She drove a bit faster when she came onto the highway, heading for a lake near by, to end it all... to cut off the thoughts of her mothers tears mixing with her blood, to run from the feelings she had for Marsha these past years.
Marsha took her in when she spilt her heart out in the café joint. Gave her a job as a novelist, but what she really wanted to do is write... she grew to love Marsha and would always stand right by her side in everything she did. Sandra never complained about anything and was always the one to help wherever she could. She never told Marsha about her past or anything of the sort. Come to think of it, Marsha never really asked.
Sandra had only 3 miles to go before she reached the lake. She put on the radio as load as it could go... listened to music that should have calmed her down, but only made her weep more...
And of all the songs to play it had to be "I wane know what love is!" Done by Foreigner. (That song rocks, so by the way!)
She pulled off of the road and walked down to where the lake was. It was about midnight now and the stars where bright and the moonlight was dancing over the water, just like she knew it to normally be. Just as she could remember, and silence fell over the scene. This feeling was familiar; everything was in place... just as it was that night.
Sandra walked towards the lake slowly. Taking out her note and putting it on the ground, little did she know she had an observer watching her closely, every move... the air tasted like mineral water and mist covered the dark, deep lake. Here and there you could hear an animal scattering off into the dark. Or call out to one another.
Sandra placed her ring on top of the note. She started walking towards the lake, thinking about how she always wanted to be that perfect daughter, and how her father looked at her... 5 years of working for a woman and 2 of those years being in love with her.
As she stood there the observer had already gotten to the ring and the note, and was already reading the piece of paper. As the observer read it in the moonlight she put the ring in her sweater pocket.
-Splashhhhhh-, water droplets flew and the water was at unease as nature started to come to life and the moon got dark as clouds pulled over its face.
The observer had just finished the letter as she heard the water splashing. She ran over to the lake and without thinking jumped in after words...
When Sandra awoke the next morning, she was in a strange room, and everything seemed to be so bright. She had velvet colored; satin nightgown on, that clearly wasn't hers, as it was just one or two sizes too big for her.
She got really scared and started to think that it could be a male that wants to keep her there and want to rape her and abuse her.
Just then, there was a knock at the door and a woman, walking in as she knocked. (Doesn't really help knocking while you walk in, the person has to notify you first... or so Sandra thought.)
The woman had short black hair, a fairly rounded face (not chubby though) a sharp nose and hazel/green eyes. Her skin was a bit pale but still attractive. She was the typical tomboy although you could see she was well into her 30s. She was about 6'8 feet and 194 pounds but still a very attractive figure. Her smile was wide and her lips thin with a pinkish hue to it...
"Good morning" the woman said unsure of how to speak and act towards her guest.
There was a period of silence. Sandra didn't have anything to say, and she was still traumatized from the previous night. "This lady wouldn't fit into this dress, she is simply jus too tall for it" is one of the 1st things that had come to her mind when she gained self-conations and fully woke up.
-The woman cleaned out her throat and tried not to look out of place-
"Maybe I will come back in 10 minutes or so?" she suggested
"... Erm...er... my name is Sandra..." is all she could manage to say after she covered up most of what she could with the blanket.
"Hey now! No need to cover up lady, I wont look or anything and just how do you think you got into that dress?" Said the observer as she looked in the other direction with a light red hue on her cheeks.
"Oh, sorry... I am really sorry, I did not mean to offend you." Sandra stuttered in disappointment and embarrassment.
"It is okay... You mind telling me what that was all about last night?" the woman beamed at her.
"I should get going." Sandra started walking towards the door, but soon realized she was trapped in the room that smelled of pink roses. The woman was standing right in front of her, blocking the entrance at all her best. Then she stepped into the room and locked the door behind her.
"I have no idea who you are, but you tried to kill yourself last night, and I am going to find out why. You will not leave this room until I have heard every bit of your story!" the woman yelled the last sentence as loudly as possible.
"I am not a child and I don't care who you are, let me go!" Sandra shouted back.
"Fine then, this is how it is... I will make you breakfast and then we can talk. If not, I can wait until you have spilled your heart out." The woman demanded.
After the woman left, Sandra took a good look at the room. There was a king sized bed, and the room was pretty much just pink and white. There was a computer, paper and pens on one desk in the corner of the room, and two small windows just beside the desk. She could see the lake from out the window...
Her ring and the note was on the desk as well...
Her clothing was in the closet washed and ironed.
A clock against the wall said it was near 2 in the afternoon.
-Knock, knock- she jumped at the load sound of the door, and then as it cracked open she stood to see the woman coming in.
"My name is Viola Poloma De Rosa... you can call me Pam..." the woman said without smiling.
All Sandra could think about, is how that friendly smile became to be so cold.
This lady wanted to help her...Pam, wanted to help her...
"I think that you are going to be in a lot of shit when I tell the police!" Sandra spit Pam's way.
"No, no, no dear... I think you're the one who is going to be in shit when they find you have been trespassing!" Pam spit back at her with much sarcasm.
"You are fu*king mad, let me go! I demand of you!!" Sandra couldn't believe her own words and was ashamed as soon as she realized what she had said. She turned towards the wall with her back to Pam and started to cry again. All the frustration kept boiling in her and she started to hit the wall. The 1st few punches she couldn't really feel much, but as she became weaker she felt the pain shooting through her entire arm. She fell to the floor and sobbed until she found arms rapping around her.
"Hush, hush, hush... there, there..." Pam rocked her back and forth as she sat behind her on the floor.
"Leave me alone..." Sandra demanded.
"Never..." Pam whispered.
Sandra could not believe that this woman cared even in the least; she was not use to people caring for her. Marsha took her in, yes, but she never paid her as well as she paid all the other workers in the firm. Marsha took full advantage.
"Hold me..." Sandra found herself helpless in the arms of a stranger.
Pam soon held Sandra close to her and she could feel Sandra's breathing change and mussels relax. Sandra fell asleep.
Sandra woke up at 7:34pm and noticed that Pam was asleep next to her on the floor she just stared at the stranger who had saved her live...
The door was wide open and there was a tray with breakfast on it... her breakfast...
She stood up from the floor after twisting around a bit to cut her loose from Pam's firm grip.
Sandra put on her clothes and she took the tray to the kitchen. She started up washing the plates and so on, seeing that she felt she couldn't just leave, and that she owed her life to this woman.
As she was busy washing, she felt arms covering her from aback and she screamed out.
She swung around and hit Pam right above her eye.
"Gaaaaawd lady! I was just... well I am not sure what! But I was just going to... what's wrong with you!?" Pam went off.
"I am sorry, I really am, I thought you where a burglar or something... please forgive me... I am really sorry." Sandra clamed as she tried to see what the damage was...
"It's ok..." Pam said as she pulled away from Sandra and went to the bathroom to check on herself.
Sandra felt too bad to follow and seated herself on the kitchen table.
After a while, Pam returned with a little towel against her eye, she held it there for a little then removed it and took out an anti-infected bottle.
"Give me your hands." She exclaimed and gave a slight smile.
Sandra said nothing and new that her hands looked really bad, it was cut at some places and bruised as well at other...
Pam took the bottle and poured a bit of the anti-infected onto the towel, took Sandra's hand in hers then wiped softly and slowly over her hand.
"I am sorry I was rude to you this morning..." Pam said out of the blue, so softly it could pass as a whisper.
"It is OK... it doesn't really matter." Sandra said as she pulled out her hand when the burning sensation became a bit too much for her.
"Hold still..." Pam said with a little smile, then, caringly took Sandra's hand back in place.
They started talking about why Sandra was going to commit suicide, and they talked about Pam's hole life's story and why she had moved away from all the people in her life to come live in a house alone aside a lake. Not that she was complaining of all the money she inherited when her father passed away. Sandra told the story of her mother passing away in front of her, while she stood and watched helplessly. Many tears was shed that night that Pam and Sandra talked, but finely she could let things rest now. Sandra had never felt so much relieve in her life. Now that Pam knew that she was a lesbian and now that she made a friend, a true friend, for the 1st time in her life at the age of 23 she finally felt what happiness felt like.
The next morning, Sandra woke up feeling alive and she wanted to do something outrageous, she couldn't stop smiling. When she heard something in the kitchen and plates clinging she walked to see if it was Pam making food.
To her surprise it was a old looking woman, with gray hair, her smile was similar to Pam's smile, so Sandra quickly put 1 and 1 together and realized it was Pam's mother.
She got startled and wanted to walk back to her room before the old lady saw her, but as she was turning heard the woman speak.
"Are you one of Pam's friends?' came the kind voice of the elderly woman.
"Erm... Ye... Yes... I am. Excuse me I will be right back." Sandra said as she was about to escape.
"Well how do you drink your coffee dear?"
"Oh. I... don't really drink coffee Misses..." Sandra stuttered clumsily.
"Ah, I am Misses De Rosa..." the woman smiled.
"I see. That makes you Pam's mother?" Sandra said with a little more comfort.
"Ha ha ha ha. Yes dear that makes me Pam's mother." Said misses De Rosa as she laughed.
"Mother! What are you doing here? What did we talk about, you know, calling before you just show up!" Pam beamed at her mother. "Agg excuse my mother Sandra, she just doesn't know what it means when I tell her that there is phones invented in nowadays." Pam said apologetically.
"Oh no! Please. It was an honor to meet her." Sandra said as she looked at Pam with disgust at how she treated her mother. Then turned to misses De Rosa. "It was a absolute pleasure to meet you misses De Rosa. Now if you would excuse me I have to go fix up and get my things." Sandra said with a big smile.
After Sandra departed, Pam continued with her mother on a other subject for a while until her mother butted in and blurted out a question she has expected for some time now.
"Is she your girlfriend dear? Just be honest I have expected this from you for some time now." Pam's mother attacked her.
Pam's face got bead red and she didn't know where to put her face, her hands where fumbling the hole time and she stuttered. "N... No mother!" she screamed in a whisper voice, and looked if she could see Sandra anywhere before talking again.
"We only met two nights ago." Pam said and tried to begin another topic, but again her mother butted in and blurted out some more questions.
"Only two nights ago? And you two already slept together? Oh dear god, I knew there was something wrong with my child. Please, lord, fix her! I would have understood if you two knew each other a bit longer, you know Poloma..." Pam's mother started going off.
"Shhh mother. For fuck's sake! We didn't sleep together and she is only staying here for a little while." Pam said again in a whisper tone.
Just then Sandra stepped into the room, fully clothed (in her own clothes) and ready to head out again.
"Well thank you very much for your hospitality Poloma, I will maybe see you soon again one of these days." Sandra said with a smile, hiding the fact that she was so unhappy that she had to leave this... sanctuary. She was about to head out the door when she heard Misses De Rosa calling her back.
"Yes?" Sandra walked back into the kitchen in an instant.
"Do you eat Italian food and French dishes?" Misses De Rosa asked with great anticipation.
"Well, yes I love food over all, so I eat about anything." Sandra said with a great big smile... that beamed of sunshine and happiness.
"Well then it is settled, you will come eat at my place this up coming Sunday." The old lady demanded.
"Well thank you, I will be sure to make it." Sandra said.
"Did you leave your contact details here?" asked misses De Rose, knowing that neither Pam nor Sandra would make a move in front of her.
-Sandra cleaned out her throat a bit, and suddenly a bit of red flushed over her face.-
"Y... Yes... I have, it is on the computer table in the spare bed room." Sandra said knowing Pam was staring a hole in to the side of her face as she only had eye contact with the elder woman. She was too embarrassed and didn't want to make it obvious that she found a liking in Pam...
Then Sandra headed out again. She walked by the lake until she saw her car near the road. As she headed for it, the only thing she could think about was Pam. She couldn't believe how a woman so muscular could be so attractive.
She was about to open the door to climb in when she hear Pam calling her name.
When she looked back she could see Pam was jogging to catch her before she left.
Pam stopped a while to catch her breath. Then walked over to Sandra.
"You almost forgot this on the desk (as she held up the ring)... I didn't get time to read you contact details yet, but I can see you wrote quite a lot of it down." Pam paused for a while and smiled. "Anyhow, here is your ring and take good care of it."
Pam turned around after giving Sandra a hug goodbye.
Sandra was caught a bit off guard with the hug as she didn't get much time to hug back.
"Well thank you for the ring, and please don't read the poem I doodled down there, it is kind of shitty. I wrote it this yesterday morning when you locked me in the room." Sandra laughed.
"I will decide for myself if it is shitty missy..." Pam said jokingly as she kept on walking backwards now. She smiled then turned and walked off.
Sandra smiled as she got into her car and drove off back home.
When she finely reached her house after the long drive, she was surprised to see everything was still in her house and no one was even looking for her.
When she got in and locked the door behind her she felt so empty inside. The house was dark and cold. She put on a few lights and walked up the stairs to her bedroom.
She put on her computer and went online to check if she had any emails.
Marsha had sent her one... the rest was just replays on stories she had posted earlier that month.
She took a deep breath as she opened up Martha's email:
Hey...
I just want to know where you where on Friday? I had to do all the filing myself and I think you owe me that much just to do your part in this fucking firm! I made you what you are. Don't make me brake, you and sell you piece by piece you selfish girl! And pick up your damn mobile phone when I call you next time round... oh and PS. Do I have to teach you how to lock your house as well?
Marsha
"Who in heavens name does she think she is?" Sandra muttered under her breath.
Dear Marsha...
This is an email to notify you that I will no longer be at service to you. I will give in my notification papers in, in the next 3 working days.
Sandra Wentenworth
"There you go, you bitch from hell!" Sandra exclaimed as she logged out and went to take a bath...
Back at Pam's place...
Pam finished all her work for the day. Around the house wasn't much to do, but she found ways to keep her busy. That's when it hit her... She hadn't had time to read Sandra's poem yet, and worst of it all, she hadn't had the time to get all the contact details down so that she could begin to chat with and call Sandra.
She walked to the spare bedroom as fast as her legs could carry and grabbed the piece of paper on the desk as if she was going to lose it...
She sorted the paper and then she sat down in front of the computer to add Sandra's yahoo address and the msn address as well. After she had done so, she sat back and took the piece of poetry in her hand and looked at it from a distant... she was looking at the hand writing, and the letters ware all shaped nicely, and for cursive it wasn't all that bad.
Spilt little heart...
Spilt little heart,
in a café joint.
Should have known,
This was the ending point.
Told without reason,
Left, without response.
Destiny rotted away,
Dreams turned all gray.
Sorrow starting to lick from its cage,
little heart,
turned into a bundle of rage.
Spilt little heart,
In wilderness, free.
Should have know,
This: too good to be.
Tore you out,
Left, without a spout.
Little heart
In wilderness free, left for chewing,
There will be no sowing.
Spilt little heart,
I cleaned the mess.
I healed your wounds,
All, that I can do, my best.
Little heart,
Dry the tears away,
For I am here,
I am here to stay.
Spilt little heart,
In a café joint,
Should have known,
This was just the starting point.
Destiny opened up once more,
Spilt little heart,
Its `you' I adore!
"Hummm, not all that bad..." Pam told herself.
Pam then sat down and typed an email, telling Sandra what she thought of the poem.
I read your poem... I like it a lot. It says more than you think Sandra... it really does. Listen about this morning. I didn't really want you to go yet. I was enjoying your company. If you want, you can come around any time you please. I have all your contact details on the paper, so if you wont mind that much, I want to use them sometime...
I am glad that I was just in time, before it was to late for you. I can do with a friend like you, and like you said that night while we talked so much, Marsha is just someone who you loved because she had shown you sympathy when needed most. She doesn't sound like all that great person. I will be happy to help you look for a better job.
I want to help you and I want you to know you that you can lean on me whenever you please.
Enough of this sobbing shit, there is this joke I want, you to hear. It is quite funny. I laughed so much my tummy started to hurt...
A man is almost about to die
As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, "I cannot die without telling you the truth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I've slept with dozens of them." His wife looked at him calmly and said, "Why do you think I gave you the poison?"
Ha ha ha! It isn't all that good, but I can't help even laughing now!
Well I am off to bed now and I hope to hear from you again soon.
Pam
Pam logged off, of her computer and went to fix her something to eat.
A simple, old, sandwich done the trick. She felt alone and incomplete.
"It is just because I had company the last two nights." She convinced herself.
Back at Sandra's place.
As soon as Sandra had finished her bath, she was feeling allot better and refreshed. She felt like she was starting over. Starting a new life...
"Goodness. Didn't know a bath can make a person feel so good." She said as she walked out of her little bathroom, with steam flowing out the doorway.
She only had on a robe, a fluffy white one I might add...
She could see the red nail polish fading in colour and beginning to chip as she looked down to fasten the robe around her waist.
Sandra wasn't hungry at all, though she did need to get some liquids into her body, and fast. She felt like she was dehydrating. Soon she was in front of the cooler looking for some cool drinks, beer or even just a bit of ice tea. There was none. To her disappointment she went upstairs to check email before she jumped into bed to slumber off to the next day of her new life.
As she was heading up the stairs, she was barley in the half of the staircase when she heard: "And where the f*ck do you think you are going to go work, if not for me?"
Came the frigid voice of Marsha shooting towards her.
"I... I am sic... sick of... of working like a... a... a dog! I do not know what you take me f... for, but I am done with all this... th... this working for you, but not getting anything out of it, except late nights and crappy salaries..." came a struggling voice in an failed attempt to shoot back at the devil in a womanly form.
"I will break you into bits and pieces! I will, I swear ill f*cking brake you neck right now! Said Marsha as she slammed the door as she shot right up the stares to where poor Sandra stood with disbelieve in her eyes.
"No! I will call the police and tell them exactly what you are up to; you can not make me do anything I don't want to!" by then Marsha had already gotten to Sandra, she bumped Sandra to fall to her back and hit it against some of the stairs. When she did there was a load cry, but then it was cut off when Marsha hit her through her face with the fist once. Sandra could latterly see the earth spin in directions not even possible.
She then got up as soon as she could, only to get knocked down by the second fist flying her way. There was wrestling and screams coming from the staircase.
Soon there was sobs joining into the echo's, of the night.
After it was done, after all had been said and she had paid her freedom with her blood. She was still on the steps with a pain in her body that she had never had before. The screaming still echoed in her mind and the sobbing hasn't really stopped. Two hours has already passed and she hadn't moved even a bit. She went over what had just taken place, she thought of everything that had been said. She was truly free now. Marsha was done with her. She just left after what she had done, and her keys where still in the door. The house had become cold, dusty, alone, dark, as emptiness filled it from the one corner to another again. She struggled to get up from the steps, but managed with a lot of willpower; although she could barley keep herself standing on her own two legs.
After much struggling she went to her bed and fell asleep to the next day. She only woke up when her phone rang. She hoped it was someone she knew and not another sale's person or Marsha with some threat.
She got out of bed and walked with a limp to where the phone was.
"Hello..." came and aching voice.
"Hey... erm, I hope I am not calling at a bad time, and I hope I am not too early either. It is Poloma speaking..." said a voice filled with not too much confidence.
"Pam..." she couldn't manage allot in her condition.
"You don't sound happy to hear it is me calling. Maybe I can just go and I will call you later?" Pam said with disgust.
"Can you come over now?" said Sandra in a aching voice.
"Yes..." said Pam unsure of why Sandra wasn't paying much attention to what she was saying.
"OK, I live in the 5th avenue of Walters street. The 3rd building on the right." She said as she plugged down the phone.
"OK. I will be there shortly and..." Pam continued as she realized with disgust that the phone was already plugged down.
Pam was puzzled as she got into her car and headed for town. She couldn't stop thinking of why she was making such and effort to go to a crazy woman's house in mid day for no good reason... well, no reason at all really!
As she pulled into the street she saw the building and went up to the doorway.
-knock, knock-
There, was nothing... not even, a noise coming from the inside. Pam knocked again then stepped back a bit to see if she had the right house. She did. She then decided to let herself in seeing that the door was opened already a bit.
"Sandra?" she called.
Nothing... silence has overflowed into this house, much too long of a period, and you could see it as well.
"Sandra... ha, ha, ha... this is really funny you old cow!" Pam said jokingly and nerves.
Then Pam heard something from upstairs and slowly made her way to the top.
Nervously she walked into the room and found a broken Sandra on the floor...
"Sandra!" she exclaimed and ran to where Sandra was laying down.
"Who did this?"
"Why?" "When?"
"Tell me, tell me now. Ill brake their fucking necks!"
"Was it a burglar?" Pam went on an on, but soon realized Sandra wasn't in any condition to answer her.
Pam took Sandra to her bed and laid her down so she could rest.
Sandra still had only the bathrobe on, and Pam could make out a clear lining of her curvy hips.
"Stop looking at her body Poloma! For goodness sake, the woman is half dieing (maybe) and here you are staring at her body!" Pam told herself and muttered.
After 3 weeks of nursing Sandra and going back and forth from one part of town to another to get to her own house Pam decided she will stay one last night seeing that Sandra was doing just fine.
A beginning...
As Pam was cooking a bit of food on the electric stove Sandra sat at the table with her wine glass and sipped a bit each 21 seconds or so.
"Thank you..." Sandra exclaimed as she put down her glass and looked directly at Pam standing over at the stove.
"Oh, it was nothing. You are my friend after all. Soon we will start looking for a other job for you, and get you back on your feet." Pam said and looked away.
"Whose night gown was it?" Sandra said now beaming at Pam.
Pam looked at Sandra, a look of investigation stared back at her from across the room.
"What night gown?" puzzled.
"The one I was wearing when I woke up in your house..." Sandra said doubting if she wanted to know, and suddenly wished she hadn't asked.
Pam stared at her a little while then went back to cooking.
"So... what line of work you going to be going into next?" Pam tried to change the subject the best she could.
"You already know..." Sandra said as she walked out of the kitchen angrily.
Pam was taken back to the past. It was like a train had rolled up at 5th avenue and she could see herself walking into her lovers room (Eliza) and finding her on top of a male figure screaming out of lust. It was sick. She wouldn't ever forget it. The expression on Eliza's face, when she realized Pam was standing in the doorway, holding her crushed heart in her hand. The grin Kevin gave her, as he got what he wanted.
Little tear droplets formed in the corner of her eyes as she kept on cutting the same old piece of tomato over and over again.
That's when Sandra walked back in to fill her glass. Pam quickly recovered and went on cutting up the vegetables for an original Italian salad and some Greek bread rolls she bought on the way over to the house.
"You don't have to tell me, it is OK..." Sandra said non-meaningfully then walked towards the living room again.
Pam grabbed Sandra by her wais in just a few seconds time, right before she could be out of sight again.
"It was Eliza's night gown... the woman I was dedicated to for four and a half years. The woman, who left me for a Prick!" Pam said and turned around to finish up the salad.
Sandra stood in disbelieve. "How could anyone change this woman in for something so sickening and dirty?" she thought to herself, then, started to feel guilt overwhelm her as she realized what she had done.
"I am..." she started but was rudely interrupted.
"Don't even think of saying your, sorry. Please. I have heard it too many times before." Pam said then looked for some seasoning.
"OK, I understand..." Sandra said and went back to her seat in the kitchen.
"It happened 1 year ago. Give or take a few months if you please." Pam said quickly and in low tone.
Sandra only nodded in understanding and acknowledgement.
"Want to eat now?"
"No..."
A look of surprise came to Pam's face immediately as she thought they could at least eat the food she had slaved over a hot stove for 2 hours.
"And why not?" she brought up her arms and crossed them, still holding onto the wooden spoon.
"Well. I thought that maybe, just maybe we can watch a movie first." Sandra demanded more than made a suggestion.
"Your house your rules I guess." Pam said then stated that the food would get cold.
But Sandra didn't seem to care much for the food.
After a while of scrubbing and changing positions on the couch they finally got their sitting potions and up came the title on the TV screen: "Finger smith"
"Have you watched this?" Sandra asked not look at Pam sitting beside her.
"No... Have you?" Pam said as she realized it was an al-lesbian film.
"No..." came short and soft replay.
"Cool..." Pam said, as she couldn't find anything better to say.
"Oh please don't let things get awkward." Sandra pleaded in her mind.
"This is going to be interesting." Pam thought to herself, seeing that she knew how exited she got when watching movies like this one.
Halfway into the movie there wasn't anything to get exited bout. Until, one of the characters started fondling with the other. Pam could feel her body heat up as she started to breathe a bit harder than normally. Sandra on the other end was almost dieing of butterfly's teasing her and galloping around in her lower tummy.
"I will get us something to drink if that's quite alright with you..." Sandra offered in attempt to escape the butterflies.
"Oh urm, would you need any help?" Pam asked in the hope that Sandra might not decline her offer.
"Okay..." a silent moment for about 34 seconds. "Okay then, let's go get something... want me to put it on pause?"
"No... urm... we won't miss much." Pam smiled.
Pam and Sandra went to the kitchen in complete silence. None of them with a clue to what they want to or could or even should say. As Sandra turned around to ask Pam what she wanted to drink, Pam grabbed her and brought her in for a kiss. Sandra on the other end was shocked to the bone, and froze up. After Pam shared a kiss with basically herself, she felt like she had done something horrible and started towards the doorway immediately.
On her way out she kept asking herself why she had done so, and why Sandra didn't kiss her back.
"Doesn't she feel the same way?" Pam walked through the door grabbing her coat on the way out.
Sandra still stood in the kitchen not knowing whether she should run after Pam, or if she should leave Pam to think for a while.
A beginnings early end...
After that night Sandra and Pam haven't had contact for quite some time.
Some might say they needed time to let things marinade, I on the other end has no clue why and how two people can be so stubborn.
The winter season has started. That time of the year where everyone gets someone to keep themselves warm throughout the cold breezy nights.
Pam was a her old lake house doing laundry and wishing she hadn't been so damn foolish, she wished she could go back to Sandra's house and kiss her... and make up for the time lost. She couldn't just sit there wondering what could have been, so she got into some respectable clothing and headed for Sandra's place.
On the other end of civilisation, Sandra was getting ready to go out and party away some of her hidden frustration. She got into her "I am here to take you home" dresses (witch fitted her perfectly and showed off all her curves nicely). Once she put on her dress, some perfume and jewellery, she headed out.
Once Sandra was out of sight, Pam came around the corner with her car.
"Just please be home... I swear I can fix everything... I have to tell you how I feel anyhow... jus please be at your apartment... I beg of you!" Pam battled it out with herself, giving herself some strength to walk into that house and "make it all right"...
Pam pulled into the driveway. The air was misty, the streetlights dim...
It was freezing and all that could keep Pam warm was the thought of seeing Sandra.
She walked up to the door and knocked a few times. The first few knocks came softly, and then got harder as the bulge up in her throat got bigger.
"She's not here..." came the little soft voice within her heart... the only thing she felt at that very moment, wasn't how cold it was outside, and it wasn't regret... it was that feeling she had dread to have, but once more did, that feeling she got the very same day when she caught her lover in the arms of another, the feeling of your heart slowly sinking into your stomach ready to be digested...
Pam hit the door out of pure glooming pain, walked over to her car and swung out of the driveway, hitting the neighbours' fence, and then driving off into the gleaming darkness...
Happy hour at Cupids tea garden...
The crowd was huge, with people all over the place, the bar stacked up, the dancing floor boiling over, the music lights flashing and shooting at everything and everyone, the music banging in your ears... in these sort of clubs it was a good thing if you knew sign language, or if you could read lips, otherwise you where not going to have a good conversation soon.
Sandra was just getting settled when a figure appeared in front of her, when looking up she saw a butch looking woman. The woman looked something like Pam, so Sandra was attracted immediately. The strange woman gave her a slight smile and sat next to Sandra on the little couch.
She put out her hand to greet Sandra, so Sandra accepted the offer and leaned in to ask the stranger what her name was, as she was leaning in the woman leaned in as well, but not to hear what Sandra was about to say, she leaned in and kissed Sandra.
Sandra was shocked and for a moment couldn't catch her breath, but then began to kiss the stranger as well, pretending that she was kissing Pam none the less...
Although Sandra knew she was making a mistake she couldn't stop kissing Pam... the stranger.
Remorse...
After Sandra's little outing that night she felt guilty. She felt as if she had betrayed Pam and felt dirty for doing so...
Sandra didn't even know how she got home, but that didn't matter now. She went to see if she had gotten any email. There was none...
Sandra went outside to get some air. She wasn't out long when a snow flake came tumbling down and fell on her porch...
For the first time since Sandra knew Pam, she felt lonesome...
Moving on with life...
Pam was sitting and thinking whether she should sell this piece of land and move on with her life, or hold on to the past, and all the only things she truly knew.
"Sometimes change is better..." she finely convinced herself.
After a few weeks she got the place sold to a very rich lawyer.
The lake was frozen, and all Pam could see when looking at the lake was the "good old days", the days where she was still free from any worries and tax, the days that have passed her bay so quickly...
Pam's mother wasn't happy with her selling her fathers house, but he wasn't here to stop her...
Changing paths and direction...
Sandra couldn't take it anymore, and seemed to be messing things up even more. First kissing strange woman, then letting go of someone she truly loved... Pam...
She needed to get away from this place, she needed to run, like she did so well.
While things where changing over at Pam's place, Sandra was changing her life as well, drastically...
She had gotten over Marsha (definitely), however, Pam seemed to be glued to her mind and heart.
Sandra quit her job and decided to go... home...
She was ready to fill out her destiny; she was ready to live the life her mother had wanted her to live.
Passing lovers like the passing of seasons, becoming strangers...
Pam was already moving out of her home, and was getting the last things in her spare bedroom, when she found the old poem laying there, she took it and tucked it into her jean pocket.
Sandra was already moved out of her little place, seeing that she didn't have much anyways. She sold everything she didn't need and her car was in no condition to drive to where she needed to be, so she sold that as well...
She was ready to go, she just had one more stop to make before filling out her destiny... one more stop. That one stop could make the biggest change in her life... she could decide to go where her heart tells her to in that one stop, or she could decide to fill out her mothers dream... one stop to the Pam's lake house.
Sandra called for a taxi and was off...
After Pam got everything out, she got into her car, and soon realized there was a taxi coming up from far, but paid no attention to it, seeing that it could be the new owner of the house...
And drove off to her new life...
Sandra saw that there was a big change at the lake house. For some reason it seemed empty, although she was still a good few yards from the house, she felt it to be lifeless...
And soon realized Pam was not there, and won't be there again...
With tears running like waterfalls she got back in the taxi and headed for the train station.
Pam was heading towards the train station as well, to see her mother off.
As soon as Pam's mother was on the train she started heading back for her car to go settle in at her new home, she stops for a second, only to be shocked and shot through the heart one last time. She sees in the train, none other than... Sandra...
Sandra was sitting and staring into the deepness of nothing, looking out on the people outside of the train greeting loved ones, saying goodbyes and waving... she had no one to wave to. Or so she thought and still do till this very day...
Pam tried to get Sandra's attention by screaming and waving, but the people around her was too loud and too many, if only she knew where Sandra was heading she would have gotten on the next train, but it didn't help to run afterwards, it didn't help to scream... all she could do was sit there and see her hole heart riding off into the distance. Her mother was heading to another place far off into the south and would stop twice to exchange trains, but where Sandra was going is still a riddle to this day.
Fairytale endings...
On the end of the day, Sandra was forced to live out her mothers dream. Her father was overwhelmed but happy to see Sandra return home. Tommy was still hardworking and gentle, so that made it easier for Sandra to marry him. Although she never married him with her grandmother's ring... for that ring wasn't meant for this time or this place or even for `her' finger...
Sandra had four lovely children throughout the years and was happy.
Her father passed away soon after her arrival, it was as if he was holding out to see his little girl one last time before going home to his wife.
Pam ended up an old lady living alone with a lot of cats.
She still had the poem and wrote some herself as well...
(Here is one of them.)
You where my morning sunshine bright,
On the end of my darkened tunnel,
You where the flashing light
My heart was a cheerful cruising ship,
Meeting you made it sink into the deep blue,
Oh yes my dear lady, it was all you!
Every passing moment,
Every skipping second,
You dwelled in my thoughts.
It seemed to stay summer,
In the sunshine lazy,
But soon,
my little heart was crushed by the winters snow,
the surrounding love,
Ceased to flow
I had a song at heart,
The melody was sweet,
And it had my hearts drumming beat.
Although my little song of joy never made it to top 25,
Here I am, still breathing and alive!
She had a lot of life stories she would tell the little children (that lived in her block) all about them. There was one story she never told anyone though, and it was the story of how she watched her heart drive off into the distends...
The end...
I Just wan to take this opportunity to thank everyone for reading this story and I want to thank everyone who read my other story (The librarian) as well...
I hope to hear a lot of comments as well as criticism on my work.
Greetings to all.
...Mel...