I'm sorry I haven't had time to reply to all the people who sent me feedback for this recently! My life's been really crazy but I'll do it as I have time to, OK? Keep it coming 'cause I reply to everybody, OK? =)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fool Part 5 By Pris G ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ He knew he had made a fool of himself the night before in front of Lance and he was wondering if maybe he shouldn't give Lance some sort of explanation. Lance was probably worried about him. Or at least worried about his sanity. He just didn't know how far he could get into it. It's not like he was afraid of Lance's reaction, he just didn't think Lance would understand. He had to talk to someone though, if only to take the weight off his shoulders for a little while. And who would he talk to? Justin was obviously out of the question. And of course Chris was too since JC didn't think the guy would take it well if he said he was madly in love with his newly achieved boyfriend. That left Joey and Lance, who were way straight to understand him exactly but JC thought that Lance would be able to understand him a bit better since Joey seemed to be the straightest person he knew. OK, so JC had thought Chris was right up there in the scale along with Joey but he obviously had misjudged his older bandmate. Still, Lance had seen him and helped him so he seemed like the best choice. "Is there something wrong, Josh?" Lance asked him softly. They were in the bus they shared with Joey on the way to somewhere he didn't remember but Lance would know for sure and would tell him if he asked, the three of them opting to be out of the shmoopy-ness taking over the other bus. JC doing it for more than one reason. "Sort of. It's just... can I talk to you after we get off the bus? I'll tell you but I need to talk to you alone." "Sure, C." Lance smiled and JC felt slightly relieved that he would be able to talk to someone about the way he was feeling lately. The rest of the trip was spent sleeping in his bunk since that was how the time seemed to go by faster and before he knew it, Lance was shaking him awake. They checked into the hotel room and soon they had to leave for soundcheck and some interview with some local radio station or something before the concert that night. For JC, the day seemed to go by quickly which was good and bad all together. Good because he could go back to sleep soon and bad because he was dreading the conversation with Lance. Dreading it so much that he had just about given up on it on the elevator ride up to their hotel rooms and if it wasn't for Lance saying he'd be waiting for JC in his room, he would've gone straight to bed. But JC knew he wouldn't be able to sleep very well until he got it all off his chest. And it's not like he had to mention Justin's name, right? He took a shower, changed into his most comfortable and warm clothes and made his way to Lance's room. The shower had managed to ease some of his nervousness but it all came back full force when the door was opened and he found himself face-to-face with Lance. "Hey, C, come in." Lance smiled and JC followed him into the room, "Sit down." They both sat down on the couch, nearly on opposite ends, and Lance smiled warmly at JC, "Is this about yesterday? I won't deny I'm worried about you but I don't want to pressure you." "It... it feels like you deserve to know." "Don't do it because of whatever you think I deserve or want to know," he cut JC off, "Do it for yourself. Not for me." "That's not the only reason. I need to talk to someone about it." "Thanks for choosing me then." "I... this... I'm in love with someone I can't have. I... I had a wonderful night with him a while ago and since then I can't seem to forget it all. That's what I went to the club for. To forget it all. I know it sounds dumb but at the time it seemed to make sense, you know?" "What happened there, Josh? Was it something as bad as it seemed?" "Not really. I... I tried erasing the memory of having him inside me by having someone else do it. It didn't really work of course and I just felt worse later but it served to prove me that it's unlikely that my body will ever forget it," JC finished in a whisper as he curled up and hugged his legs, propping his chin on his knees. "Your body or your head?" "Little bit of both, I guess," JC whispered, smiling sadly at Lance. "This guy... he wouldn't by some reason be a tall, blonde, blue-eyed postar in a famous boy band who goes by Curly among his friends, would he?" Lance asked with a small smile on his face and JC winced before turning to Lance. "How did you know?" "I'm the smartest one in this band." Lance grinned, "I know all, I see all, I just don't talk about it," he completed and JC chuckled. "Yes, it's Justin." "Does he know? About you being in love with him, I mean." "I never said I was in love with him." "You don't even need to, DUH!" "Am I that obvious?" "It's obvious for anyone looking for it." "Oh... Hmm... no, he doesn't know about it. I mean, you've seen how much in love with Chris he is and I can't ruin that. I knew he was in love with someone else when it all happened, I just didn't know who. He never fed any illusion of mine that maybe we could be more than friends." JC buried his face between his knees and chuckled rather bitterly, "I have a really fucked-up taste in men, huh?" He lifted his head, shaking it slowly while staring straight ahead, remembering how badly his last two relationships ended, the first when his boyfriend found somebody else and the last when the guy he was with suddenly realized he really was straight and went back to his ex-wife. "You just haven't had a lot of good luck. Or you could be looking in the wrong direction." "I should just stop looking all together." "Or you could take some me-time and wait until another opportunity shows up. You're too special and too strong to give up, Josh." "Yeah right. With my luck the next guy who shows up will be some stalker who will send pictures of us having sex to the National Enquirer or something," JC mumbled and Lance laughed. "It could be worse, he could be a Backstreet Boy." "Oh! Ewww," JC said with little enthusiasm as they laughed, "Nick is not so bad actually." "If you have a thing for infants that it." "He's nearly your age!" JC exclaimed laughing, "And thanks for calling me a pedophile. Some friend you are!" He pinched Lance's thigh, causing the blonde to jump and laugh. "Anytime." Lance smiled and rubbed JC's back, "You're gonna be OK, Josh." "'Course I will." JC smiled at Lance, it was small but it was a smile nonetheless. "Anytime you're too sick of watching them together, you come to me and we'll get together and have some male bonding time, dissing boys and doing our nails," Lance suggested and JC nearly rolled off the couch laughing. "Why, Lance! I thought you were straight!" JC said, exaggeratedly holding his hands over his heart and dropping his jaw. "Maybe. Or maybe not." Lance winked at JC, who laughed some more. "You're so full of shit!" JC hit Lance with a pillow. "Oh! You're so not getting away with that!" Lance threatened JC who ran away before Lance could get his revenge. And as Lance chased a laughing JC around his room he came to the conclusion that JC's laugh nearly rivaled JC's singing as the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. TBC... Hmmm... This seemed SO much better while it still lived in my head *sigh* Pris