FOLLOW THE LEADER

Dedication: To the guys who read this who's growing up was traumatized by finding out that they were attracted to other guys.

FOLLOW THE LEADER by RimPig 2007

Was there a time, was there a season, that I hadn't known Mark? It was like we were born to be best friends. Indeed, there are pictures in my mom's album of Mark and me playing in a backyard, inflatable pool when we were still in diapers. In fact, Mark and I had been born just a few months apart, he being the older of the two of us - a fact that he never let me forget and gave him, what he felt, was a right to be the leader. I never really objected. I didn't want to lead, I was more than happy to follow Mark in whatever he wanted to do. Mainly because Mark's ideas were always more adventurous, more exciting than anything I could come up with.

When we were children, it was playing in the woods behind our houses, hiding in secret places that only we knew, or so we thought. Hiding and sharing with each other those things that little boys share with each other. Running in the open spaces in the woods, laughing in the wind or rain as we yelled and goaded each other on.

My memories of our early years are not totally clear. I do, however, remember the first time that I saw Mark's little penis. We were no more than five years old and playing in the woods when Mark suddenly stopped in the midst of play and pulled his pants down, grabbing hold of his little penis. I stopped, entranced but confused by his actions until I saw the small arc of piss shoot from his penis onto a tree. It was the first time in my life that I had seen any other penis than my own or see someone else piss. I was utterly fascinated by his actions. He looked at me while he pissed.

"Don't you have to pee?" he asked.

"Uhh...yeah...I guess so." I said, hesitantly.

"Well...go ahead." Mark demanded.

I stood next to him and pulled down my own pants, showing my penis to someone other than my parents for the first time in my life. I was nervous for some reason. It took a long while for me to finally piss. I didn't know then that this was a problem with a lot of males - pee shyness. But finally, with Mark still standing there, his pants still down around his ankles and his little penis just hanging there, I finally saw my own arc of piss shoot out and wet the same tree he had. That sent a thrill through me, letting someone watch something that I was told not to show anyone. It also had an effect on me because my piss and Mark's were joined on that tree. I didn't know then, in fact I didn't know for a very long time, what the effect was.

It got to be a tradition with us, pissing together out in the woods. Through it, we could see how each other grew and changed as we got older. When we were older, at least nine or ten, we joked about our young cocks and played with our streams, not just pissing but shaking our cocks as we did so that the stream came out with a wiggle in it rather than just an arc. There were, of course, those strange bonding competitions that Mark always started, like who could piss farthest or longest. I never won these competitions but I never really minded. I loved the grin that Mark always got on his face when he won.

Mark love winning. It was the reason that we ended up doing t-ball, little league and later Optimist football. Mark was a far more talented jock than I was in those days. Mark pushed himself harder than I did because he always wanted to win. And he usually did. I was always there to cheer him on and, when he did succeed, was the recipient of that glorious, triumphal smile.

But, as we grew, there were other, more private competitions. Because we lived next door to each other, we slept together many, many nights - so many that it seemed like his room was mine and mine was his. Oftentimes, it was because our parents seemed to have a deal that either his parents or mine would babysit us when the other pair went out for the evening. We didn't mind at all. It gave us more time together alone together - something we seemed to both want.

It was on one of these nights, when we were twelve, that Mark taught me something new that he had discovered.

"Scott, lemme ask you something. Does your dick get hard?"

I was shocked. How did he know? I'd been finding my little dick hard almost every morning and often at night when I tried to go to sleep. I didn't know what was happening nor what to do about it. I thought maybe something was wrong and I was scared to tell my parents because I didn't want them to take me to the doctor.

"Uhh...yeah." I said, hesitantly.

"Mine does, too. Do you play with it?"

"No!" I asserted.

"Why not? It feels great!"

I had noticed that when I touched my dick when it was hard or when it rubbed against something, like my bed through my underwear, it sent a thrill through my body. A thrill that surprised but scared me at the same time.

"I thought it was bad. My parents always told me I'm not supposed to play with it."

"All parents say that. Mine did, too. Well, at least my mom did. My dad just winked at me and told me not to get caught."

"For real?"

"Yeah. He's the one that told me about it. He says it's called jacking off'. He said there was another big word for it but only doctors and shit use it. Something about masterate' or something like that. Dad said that most boys and men call it jacking off."

"Your Dad said that? How does he know?"

"He says that all guys jack off. All their lives. He told me he still does it. It feels really good and don't hurt nobody."

"Wow! How do you do it?"

"Well...first ya gotta get naked."

I could do that. After all, here we were, in Mark's bed because my parents had gone out and Mark's parents had gone to bed already. Not only that, all I had to do to get naked was to slip off my white briefs. Which I quickly did as Mark slipped his off as well. I noticed that Mark's cock was already hard and was a lot bigger than it was soft. Of course, mine was too. I didn't know what was up with that, either. I also noticed that Mark's cock was about the same size hard as mine was except his was perfectly straight and mine had a curve in it.

"Okay, now what?" I asked.

"Just do what I do." Mark said, taking his dick in his hand and beginning to stroke it up and down.

I did as he did and that thrill that I had occasionally felt was still there but not very strongly. I couldn't see what was all that special about doing this. I had to admit to myself that watching Mark do it was WAY more interesting to me than doing it myself. My hand finally slowed as my arm got tired.

"What's the matter? Why'd you stop?" Mark asked, his voice and face showing his displeasure with my actions.

"My arm's tired," I complained. "Besides, it doesn't feel all that good."

"You must not be doing it right. Here! Let me try."

Before I knew what was happening, Mark reached over and began stroking my cock himself. Now THAT felt good! WAY good! It didn't feel at all like when I did it. Mark's hand on my dick was, without doubt, the most exciting thing I'd ever felt - even if I was totally embarrassed by him doing this. Why, I didn't know. I just figured it was something he shouldn't be doing but it was feeling way too good to tell him to stop.

"How's that feel?" he grinned at me.

"It feels really good." I panted. "See! Told ya!" he grinned.

It was that same victory' grin he always gave me and I always loved.

He continued rubbing my cock for a few more minutes and then stopped. I didn't know why. I certainly didn't tell him to. I just figured he was tired but, instead, he had another shock for me. He knelt up in the bed, thrusting his hard dick at me.

"Here, you do me. Lemme see what you're doing wrong."

I didn't know what to do. I wanted to touch his dick. I really did. But I felt that it was somehow not allowed. Mark, however, had no qualms and just grabbed my hand and put it on his dick. I didn't know what to do at that point. I could feel it in my hand, warm and hard but soft, too. It felt different than when I touched myself, mostly because the sparks of thrill that I felt when I touched my own weren't there. I could actually feel his dick in a way I couldn't feel mine. He was looking at me, holding his dick, and giving me that don't wuss out on me, buddy' look he had whenever he wanted me to follow his lead in something.

I started running my hand up and down his shaft. Well, not very far. It was not more than five inches and my hand just about went all the way to the top of it when I was holding it like that. But I tried desperately to give him the feelings that he gave me. I didn't succeed.

"Nah! Not like that! You're doing it too soft. You gotta grab hold of it harder and really pump it."

I followed his directions the best I could and, within a few strokes, I was rewarded.

"Yeah. That's it. That's more like it. You keep doing that and I'll do you."

He reached down and tried to jack me off but the angle was all wrong.

"Lay down" he said.

I did as I was told and then he lay down with his feet past my head and his head at my waist. He then grabbed hold of my dick and started stroking it again. Those incredible feelings came back and I almost forgot to keep doing him. One glance from him told me what I was expected to do. I grabbed his dick and, again, tried to concentrate on stroking him right. It was very difficult with the distraction he was causing by jacking me. It didn't take long before I couldn't continue stroking him because the feeling of what he was doing was so intense, I thought that I was going to piss all over myself.

"Stop! Mark! I'm gonna piss!"

"No you ain't. You're gonna cum. Trust me."

I had trusted him all my life, I certainly couldn't stop now. But I had no idea what cum' meant and he didn't explain, just speeded up his arm movements until I was groaning in what felt like some kind of pain but the most exquisite pain I'd ever experienced in my life. All of a sudden, the feelings just exploded in me and radiated out from my cock to my whole body. I jerked uncontrollably and thought I was going to turn inside out from what he was doing to me. I finally grabbed Mark's arm to stop him when the feelings turned from intense to really painful.

"Stop! Please!" I begged and he let go of my dick.

"There. That's what jacking off is. That was your first cum, right?"

"Yeah. That was the first time I ever felt like that." I said, suddenly totally exhausted.

I looked down at my dick and it had softened back to it's normal state but it was lying in a small pool of clear liquid. I thought maybe I had peed on myself.

"What the fuck is that?" I asked.

"Oh, that? That's what my dad said was called pre-cum. He said guys our age aren't able to shoot real cum. He said that's milky white, there's a lot more of it and it can get a girl pregnant if you fuck her. You do know about fucking, right?"

"Of course I do!" I insisted, not wanting to look like I was as naive as I really was. "That's where you stick your dick in a girl."

"Yeah. That's how you make babies. You stick your hard dick in her, push in and out, using her pussy like your hand and then shoot cum up her. That makes her pregnant."

Mark said this in a world weary way, like everybody knew that. Well, I didn't. I had no idea you actually shot something up her. In fact, other than sticking your dick in her, I had no idea what you did. I'd wondered how you got your dick, limp and all, to go up inside her. I only knew that you stuck your dick in a girl because I heard some older guys at football practice one day talking about sticking my dick in her and fucking her'. Now I knew what they were talking about.

"So what now?" I asked.

"Well, we could do it again. I can cum maybe three or four times a night if I push it."

We made it to four. Three times doing each other and once on our own. Mark said he wanted to make sure I knew how to do it to myself. I could but it wasn't near as exciting as when he did it to me - especially when I was doing him. From that night on, whenever we were sleeping over each other's house or were out in the woods, out would come our hard cocks and we'd be jacking away - usually doing each other.

That changed the night of Mark's fourteenth birthday. We were in high school and had matured to the point that we both could shoot loads of cum - just not as often at one time as we used to. It seemed that pumping out a load of the milky stuff was more exhausting than just the few drops of pre-cum. In fact, now pre-cum came out first. Mark explained that his dad told him it was to make things go smoother when you fucked. I didn't quite understand this but, as usual, I didn't question it. After all, my father hadn't talked to me at all about anything.

There was one thing that Mark's father told him that, at first, I thought was totally gross. He told Mark that if he didn't want his mother finding out about his secret fun, then rather than wiping up the cum with a towel or something, he should either shoot it in his dirty socks or, better yet, eat it. He said it wouldn't hurt you. That it came out of your own body and there was nothing harmful in it, even if it came out of where you pissed. The real shock came the first night I watched Mark eat his own cum.

"What the fuck does it taste like?" I asked.

"Not bad. Sweet and salty at the same time. No way to describe it. I ain't never tasted anything like it before. But it sure keeps me from having to explain to my mom about the stains in my underwear anymore. Go ahead and try it."

I reached over to get a finger full of his cum and stuck it in my mouth. It was just as he'd described it, salty and sweet at the same time but like nothing I'd ever tasted before. I kind of liked it. When I looked up, however, Mark had this really shocked look on his face.

"What?"

"I meant taste YOURS, not mine!"

"Oh."

Mark rolled over on the bed laughing at me. I felt like a fool. I blushed all kinds of red over being so stupid. Mark looked at my face and I guess he could sense the pain his laughter was causing because he instantly stopped and rose up and put his arm around my shoulders.

"It's okay, buddy. Don't worry about it. It's just that guys don't usually eat each other's cum. So, how did it taste?"

"Just like you said. Like nothing I ever tasted before."

His voice got very low and quiet.

"Did you like it?"

I nodded my head, afraid that he'd laugh again. But he didn't. He didn't say anything. What I didn't realize was the fact that I liked the taste of his cum was filed away in his very fertile brain and would have it's use later. And not much later. That later' was the night of his birthday. I was again spending the night after his parents took us out for dinner and then brought us home for cake and ice cream. We both loved chocolate cake with chocolate ice cream so that's what his mom had for his birthday. He got lots of presents from his parents as well. That's the only cool thing about being an only child - you get more stuff and you don't have to share it. For some reason, neither of our parents had any more children after us. We sure didn't mind. After all, we had each other and that was as good as having a brother and, in some ways, better.

We were laying in bed talking, waiting for his parent to go to sleep before getting down to the business of taking care of each other's cocks.

"So did you get everything you wanted?" I asked.

"Well, sort of."

"What do you mean - sort of'? What more did you want?"

"Something the rents can't give me. Something I ain't never had and I'll probably not get for a long fuckin' time."

This was said with great disappointment and longing.

"What the fuck is it?"

I was thinking it was like a car or something, but we were too young to drive and his parents could get him that.

"A blow job."

"What the fuck is that?"

He looked at me like I was kidding.

"You don't know what a blow job is? Didn't your fuckin' father never talk to you about sex?"

"No. He said that I'd learn all that stuff in school. But the sex ed class never mentioned a blow job."

"A blow job is where somebody takes your cock in their mouth and sucks on it til you cum."

"Eww! That's gross."

"No it's not. It's supposed to feel great. Way better than jackin' off and maybe even better than fuckin'."

"Wait a minute, if you've never had one, how do you know that?" "I overheard one of the seniors talkin' to his friend in the locker room one day. He was talking about gettin' one the night before. They didn't know I was there so I got to hear all about it. Ever since then, I've wanted one more than anything. See, with a blow job, the girl swallows the cum so she can't get pregnant."

"Well, yeah, but we don't know any girls - especially not any girls that would do that."

"Don't I know it. But I was thinking. After all, there's nothin' different about a girl's mouth. A guy could give another guy a blow job and it would be the same thing."

"But that's queer!" I insisted.

My reaction was based more on what I thought I was supposed to say than what I really felt. I'd tasted Mark's cum that one night and I'd never forgotten it. I'd also found myself thinking about Mark's cock when I was alone. I thought about it a lot. As he'd grown, it had gotten longer and thicker and, for some reason, it also became more...well...beautiful to me. I didn't know how else to put it. I loved Mark's cock. I loved watching him jack it or the feel of it when I did him. I loved to see it shoot all of his cum. The idea of putting it in my mouth and sucking on it should have grossed me out - but it didn't. In fact, I had a raging boner in my briefs just from him telling me about it.

"Well, yeah. It is...and it ain't."

"What do you mean, it is and it ain't? How can it be both things at once?"

"Say a guy went around sucking on any guy's cock who'd let him? Now that would be queer because the guy would be a cocksucker. But if it was just the two of us and nobody else knew, it would be just like when we jack each other off. Just us helping each other out, ya know? Just something nice that we did for each other because we're such good friends."

"You mean if I sucked on your cock, you'd suck on mine?"

This had me really baffled. Sex with us had always been mutual up til then. But, to be honest, I never thought that Mark would do something like that to me. It still surprised me that he jacked me off. Not only jacked me off but seemed to really enjoy doing it.

"Sure! Ain't no big thing. Just one really good friend helping out a really good friend. Of course, nobody could ever know about it but nobody knows that we jack each other off anyway."

"Do you know how to do it? I sure don't."

"You put my cock in your mouth, maybe lick it some and suck on it. What's to know? Just like jackin' me off - just with your mouth than with your hand."

"Okay. If you know how, how's about doing me first." I figured this would be a deal breaker'. I could tell that Mark really wanted me to give him a blow job but I also figured that he'd be more interested in getting one than giving one.

"No problem. I know you wouldn't leave me hangin'. If you want me to suck your cock first, I'd do it."

I couldn't believe my ears! I thought to myself, he must want a blow job REALLY bad. But there was a thought in the back of my head that maybe, just maybe, he really did want to give me one and he was covering up that fact by offering to make it sound mutual.

"And you wouldn't leave me hanging either, right?"

"No way. Would I do that to you?"

"No, I guess not. Okay. I'll do it and I'll do you first."

"Oh, fuck! Scott you're the best friend a guy has ever had!"

He looked at me as he said this, his eyes shining with emotions that I couldn't even begin to understand. I knew what he looked like when he was horny but this was something else. Something that went down inside me and made me feel all warm and good. For just a second, I had a feeling like he loved me. But that was stupid. Why would Mark be in love with me?

He stripped off his briefs and lay down on the bed. I could see his cock was so fucking hard that it was bouncing off his abs in anticipation. For the first time, as he lay there, I looked at him - really looked at him. He had an incredible body. All of the sports we played and time the we were now spending in the weight room because of JV football had begun to really show on him. I could see his abs - maybe not a six-pack' but getting there. His pecs were developing as well and his arms, which were behind his head as he lay there, showed off his biceps which were really getting big. All in all, Mark had the most beautiful male body I'd ever seen.

That thought alone shocked me. When did I start thinking that guy's bodies were beautiful'? Being in a locker room all the time with guys in all states of undress certainly gave me a lot of material for comparison. I also realized that when I jacked off when Mark wasn't around, it was always him I fantasized about. I never thought about it before, but now it started to bother me. After all, what did it say about me that all I thought about, where sex was concerned, was guys? I put these thoughts away to think about later, however, somehow knowing that later' would be

never' if I had my way about it. Besides, at that point, Mark broke into my thoughts.

"Hey, you're not gettin' scared, are ya?"

"No. Just...uhh... trying to figure out how to do this."

"Why don't you lay down beside me with your head down there. I think that would probably be most comfortable for you." This statement confirmed what I already thought. Mark had thought this out thoroughly and probably for quite a while.

"Okay. You're the expert."

"I ain't no expert. I just thought some about this and that just seemed to make the most sense."

"Yes, I can see that."

As I lay down and settled myself in for this latest in our adventures' together, I was overwhelmed by something. I had never been this close to Mark's cock before. First of all, it looked enormous up close and I began to wonder if I could even get the thing in my mouth. Secondly, and most strange of all, was the smell of his groin. It was a scent that was pungent and raw - sweaty but with something more. It hit me that what Mark smelled like was somewhat like the locker room but way better. I liked the scent immediately. It kicked up my horniness by about one thousand percent. It was the first realization I had of my attraction to the way a guy smells. The closer I got to his cock, the more intense the scent became and the more my desire for Mark increased as well.

I could see a glistening drop of pre-cum on the head of his cock, telling me that Mark was definitely way turned on by this. The first thing I did was take his cock in my hand, a feeling I knew so well, and gently licked off this crystal droplet. Unlike my memory of his cum, his pre- cum was totally sweet. The first taste I had of his pre-cum made me instantly crave more and, as I pulled away from the head of his cock, another droplet formed immediately. I figured I could be laying there licking all night. I just might as well put his cock in my mouth and let his juices flow into my mouth freely.

Of course, having never done this before, I had no idea what I was doing - especially the feeling of a guy's cock being scraped by another guy's teeth.

"Shit! Watch your fucking teeth!" Mark exclaimed, pain obvious in his voice.

I pulled off his cock immediately. It was not my intention to cause him pain but pleasure.

"Sorry! You know I've never done this before. You didn't say anything about my teeth."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know. Just please be careful. I want to get off - not have my cock all scraped up."

"I'll be careful. I promise. You don't think I did it on purpose, do you?"

"No. I know you didn't. I'm sorry, I just didn't think about that." Mark apologized.

I took his cock in my mouth again, making sure to cover my teeth with my lips so that there was no chance of my teeth hurting him. I held his cock in my mouth, running my tongue around it as far as I could. It was a big fucker and just about filled my mouth. I began moving my head up and down, just like I was jacking him off with my mouth. Within moments I heard Mark moaning and knew from the sounds that I was evidently doing something right.

"Oh, yeah! Fuck yeah! That's it. Keep doin' that, buddy! Oh fuck! You have no idea how fuckin' good this feels. WAY better than jackin' off."

With all that meat in my mouth I couldn't answer him and I didn't figure he wanted me to stop to answer anyway. I wouldn't have, even if I could because I wasn't about to admit, at that moment, how fucking good it felt to have his cock in my mouth. It didn't taste bad or anything. Just like skin and maybe a little sweat but the feeling of it sliding against the very sensitive tissue in the roof of my mouth and my tongue were sending thrills through me that I'd never felt before. As I continued to lick at his cock, Mark began to thrust up into my mouth. That was really incredible, watching his groin moving like he was fucking. It dawned on me that he was. He was fucking my mouth and I loved it.

I could see his nuts pulled up to the base of his cock. I knew how much I loved to feel my balls while I was jacking off so I reached over with my other hand and gently began to rub his. That produced immediate results.

"Oh fuck! Yeah! I'm gonna cum! Don't stop! Please don't stop!"

I had no intention of stopping. I knew what was about to happen. Mark was going to shoot his load of cum in my mouth - something I found myself desperately wanting. I wanted him to shoot in me. I wanted to taste his cum again.

"Oh fuck!" he cried out once again.

As he did, his cock began to spurt all his creamy cum into my mouth. What I didn't figure on was that what looked like a relatively small amount when he shot on himself turned into a flood in my already filled up mouth. I had to do some really quick swallowing, afraid that I would drown from the load. Spurt after spurt filled my mouth so all I could do was keep swallowing. I didn't even notice the taste while he came.

That came after he was done shooting his load and I could taste what was left coating my mouth. That, however, was plenty. His cum was a bit stronger than the last time I tasted it but I still loved the taste. More, I loved the feeling that I got from getting him off. This time, it was my turn to pull off his cock and give him the triumphal grin he usually gave me. He smiled back.

"God! That was fuckin' wonderful! I never thought it would be THAT good! Fuck! Wait til you feel how it feels. Like nothin' you could imagine. If I didn't know better, I'd think you'd done that before, you did so good."

And with this, he reached down and gently ran his fingers through my hair, his personal seal of approval' for my efforts. When he did that, a thrill went through me which didn't have anything to do with my cock. It was something that went down inside me and made me want to do it all over again for him. But that would have to wait. His cock was now temporarily soft and, besides, it was my turn to feel what it felt like myself.

We changed places and I did get to feel what it felt like to shoot my load into a hot, wet, willing mouth for the first time in my life. Mark was right. It was WAY more than the feeling of cumming when you jack off. Mark swallowed my load as eagerly as I had swallowed his which made it all that more special for me. When he looked up after sucking me off, I had this overwhelming desire to kiss him but I knew that, not only was that WAY off the scale of acceptable behavior, it said things about how I felt about him that even I didn't understand.

We sucked each other off three more times that night. The last time, Mark came up with the idea of laying like we usually did to jack each other off at the same time but suck each other instead. Mark and I did a sixty-nine without even knowing what it was or what it was called. We did it that way a lot after that. In fact, we never went back to jacking each other off. From then on it was purely sucking each other's cock.

Something else changed that night. Though we had slept together what must have been thousands of times over the years, we had done exactly that. Slept. Each of us on our own sides of either my or Mark's full-sized beds. Of course as we grew, it became more and more difficult to not touch each other while we slept and oftentimes we would find ourselves spooned to one or the other the next morning. We never said anything about it and I just put it down to us trying to get comfortable in our sleep. But that night, when we finally turned out the light to go to sleep, exhausted from our sexual marathon, Mark did something that I never expected. As I clung to the edge of the bed, my back to him, I suddenly felt his arm go around me and gently but insistently pull me back until I was up against him and he was spooned to my back, with his arm around me, holding me.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what this meant. But, at the same time, it felt so good, so warm down inside me that I was perfectly happy to let Mark have his way. I felt his warm breath gently caressing the back of my neck and the warm, strong feeling of his arm around me and I felt so happy that I almost started to cry. A feeling of the rightness of being together like this went through me so strongly that I never, ever questioned being like that with him. From then on, when we slept together, it was always with Mark spooned to me, holding me to him.

It was about a year later when those feelings and thoughts that I tried so hard to shove into a corner of my mind and never look at came rushing out and overwhelmed me one night when I was laying in bed alone, having just jacked off - a poor substitute for Mark's mouth. I found myself longing desperately not for the feeling of sucking Mark's cock or him sucking mine but the feeling of his arm around me as I went to sleep. I wanted to feel his muscular body against mine, and feel the peace and contentment that always came when we lay like that together. I suddenly had the overwhelming insight that what was wrong was not just that I was missing Mark, not missing his body or the sex, but yearning for him because I loved him.

That's a pretty heavy revelation for a fifteen year old, especially a fifteen year old male, to deal with. What the fuck was I going to do with that? How could I deal with the fact that I was in love with my best friend? Worse, what would happen if Mark ever learned how I felt about him? Well, I thought I knew the answer for that one. Call me a faggot' and then tell me he never wanted to see or hear from me again. How could I deal with that? Worse, how could I explain it that, after a lifetime of being almost inseparable, Mark suddenly would have nothing to do with me. I also knew that my life would be over. Oh, not just because my parents would probably disown me for being queer but because I couldn't go on living without him. The only answer I could see was killing myself.

And, with that thought, I started crying. Crying like I hadn't done since I was a very little kid. Sobbing into my pillow so no one could hear me and come to find out what was wrong with me. There was no way I could tell them and I didn't have any plausible lie I could tell. I lay there crying for a long time until I literally cried myself to sleep.

I woke up the next morning, my eyes still red-rimmed and so depressed I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to go to school - especially because I didn't want to see Mark. I couldn't claim to be sick without my parents taking me to the doctor who would tell them there was nothing wrong with me. Well, there wasn't physically. I finally decided to do something I had never done in my life. I cut school. I went out the door, barely saying good-bye to my parents who were too busy getting ready to go to work anyway and, instead of catching the bus, I doubled back and hid out in the woods.

In many ways, that was a mistake. Those woods were too much a part of Mark and my growing up years and everywhere I turned, I saw places that brought back memories of us. The hiding places we had, the adventures we went on. I found a fallen tree and sat there for what felt like hours, trying to come up with some way to either change my feelings for Mark or some way that I could hide what I was feeling from him.

After a time, I got up and walked home, using my key to get in the back door and going back to my room and laying down across the bed. I didn't eat. I wasn't hungry. I basically just wanted to find a hole in the earth and pull it in over me. Just disappear and never come back. I thought about running away but I knew that a fifteen year old raised in the suburbs had no street smarts to live on his own. This brought on yet another attack of waterworks, tears pouring from my eyes but no sobbing this time.

As I mulled over the minimal options open to me, I heard the front door open and Mark's voice calling out for me.

"Scott! Hey, Scott! You here?"

I knew immediately that my mom had been the last to leave that day. Mom was somewhat of an airhead at times and had left the front door unlocked many times. I could hear Mark coming up the stairs and didn't know what to do. I didn't want to see him but, before I could figure out somewhere to hide, he was pushing open the door to my room.

"What the fuck's up with you? You cut school."

"Yeah. I know. So did you if you're here."

"When you didn't show up to school, I got worried. I thought you were sick or something."

"Well, I'm not so you can go back to school and then you won't get in trouble, too."

"Scott, school is over for today."

"It is?"

"Yeah. It is. Now what the fuck's up with you? You look like you been cryin'."

"Why would you say that?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's those stains going down your cheeks or the fact that your eyes are red. Either you've been crying or you've suddenly developed allergies you've never had."

He moved over and sat down on the bed next to me and put his arm around my shoulders.

"What's wrong. You can tell me. Of anybody in this world, you can tell me." Mark's voice showed a great deal of concern.

"No, I can't."

"Why not? What's so awful that you can't tell me?"

"Something that would make you hate me."

"There is nothing that you could ever tell me that would make me hate you."

"Don't bet on that."

"Yes, I will. I've known you all my life. We've been best friends as long as either of us can remember. How could I ever hate you? Besides, you suck my cock better than anybody."

He grinned at me.

"I'm the only one who sucks your cock."

"See. That automatically makes you the best. Come on, Scott. Just tell me. I swear to God I won't hate you, no matter what. I mean, what the fuck could you have done? Killed somebody or something."

"No! I didn't kill anybody. Just the opposite, actually."

"What? You got somebody pregnant?"

"Oh, yeah. Like that's going to happen. No."

"Come on, Scott. Just fuckin' tell me already. Whatever it is, we can work through it together. Has there ever been a time I wasn't there for you? Ever?"

He had me there. No, there had never been a time but I just didn't think that he could handle this but, then again, I couldn't handle it either.

"Okay. But just don't hit me."

"Why the fuck would I hit you? Have I ever hit you?"

"No."

"Okay, so enough already. Tell me what the fuck's wrong!"

I could hear the exasperation in his voice. He was getting angry at me, something that had almost never happened and one thing I didn't want to happen now.

"I don't know how to say this to you. I've been trying to find a way that wouldn't make you hate me and never want to see me again but I can't. Mark...I'm in love with you."

He just sat there, looking at me and then he smiled. That same triumphal smile that I'd seen so many times. He wasn't saying anything, however. I thought that maybe he didn't understand what I said or he was too shocked to respond.

"Well? Say something," I said.

"Did you just figure it out? Fuck! I've known you were for a long time now, buddy. I've just been waitin' for you to make a move or say somethin'."

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me you knew?"

"Because. I didn't know if you knew or not. I wasn't about to have you freakin' out on me if you didn't know. You might stop suckin' my cock."

He gave me a grin. I punched him in the arm. Not a good move on my part. With his muscles, I hurt my hand worse than I hurt him. He just laughed.

"And you were worried about me hittin' you?"

"Asshole. You have no fuckin' idea what I went through over this."

"Yeah, I kinda figured you would but I also figured that it was somethin' that you had to figure out for yourself." Mark said.

" So you're not mad?"

" Fuck no! Why would I be?"

" Because...don't you see? That means I'm queer. Your best friend is queer and in love with you."

" Well, you aren't mad are you?" Mark said softly giving me that strange look that I remembered from the night in his birthday. The one that made me feel so warm and good inside.

" Mark? What are you saying?"

" I'm saying that your best friend is queer and in love with you."

" Are you sure?"

" Are you?"

" Yes, I'm sure. I've known it for a long time. I just couldn't admit it to myself."

" So what happened? What made you realize it now?"

" It was last night. I was lying here and I was feeling so lonely because you weren't here and I realized what I really wanted more than anything was to feel your arms around me. It was and the sex I missed. It wish you."

" Yeah, I hate it when you're not in my arms. I love holding you. I was so scared that first night, when I took you in my arms while you were awake. I'd always done it after you went to sleep. I was afraid you wouldn't want me to."

" Why did you think that? For god's sake, I'd sucked your cock! Why wouldn't I want your arms around me?"

" Because then you'd know how I really cared about you."

" I guess we were both pretty stupid, huh?"

" No, what the fuck did either of us know about love? I sure didn't know this was gonna happen, did you?"

" No." I assured him.

At this point, Mark got up and walked around my bed. Then he climbed on it and softly said, " Come here." I moved over to him and he gently wrapped his muscular arms around me. I lay my head on his chest and sighed deeply. " That better?" I didn't say anything I just nodded my head. We lay there the rest of afternoon until my parents got home. I told them that Mark was going to spend the night. I couldn't stand the idea of being without him again. Luckily, the school never called about me being absent. I don't know why or what went wrong, I was just grateful for it. And it was that night, for the first time, I became the leader. As we lay in each other's arms, I looked up at Mark and said, " I want you to fuck me." But

" Are you sure? We've never done that."

" Don't you want to?"

" More than anything."

" That's how I feel. I want you to more than anything."

" But... I've never asked you to do something for me, that I wasn't willing to do for you. And I'm just not ready for that."

" I'm not asking you to be. I want to do this for you. I want to feel you inside me. I want to show you how much I love you."

Mark moved so that he was on top of me. The weight of his body rather than being a problem made me feel possessed and protected. He began moving down me using his tongue, lips, and teeth to nearly drive me crazy. When he got to my groin he moved farther down and began gently licking my balls. Because we have always done each other at them same time this was not something I was used to him doing to me. He were really got into it though licking all over my nut sack and even moving down to that patch of skin between my balls and my ass. Then he totally shocked me. Reaching under my knees, he lifted my legs and pushed them back until my knees were almost touching my chest.

" Here, hold them back for me."

I grabbed hold of the them and held them back. I couldn't understand why he wanted me like this, my ass and my balls totally visible to him. Then I saw him lean down until his face was directly in my ass. The next thing I knew, I could feel something wet and rough sliding through the trench of my butt.

" MARK! What the fuck are you doing to me?"

" I'm licking your ass. Does it feel good?"

" Yeah it does. But are you sure you should be doing that?"

" Some guy was telling me about fucking his girlfriend in the ass. He told me that he always licked her ass to get her ready. He said it really made her want it."

" But, Mark, I already told you I wanted it."

" Yeah, but ever since he told me about it, I've wanted to do this to you."

" As good as this feels, you can do this any time you want to."

This statement got me another one of Mark's triumphal grins.

Because I'd never done this before or even played with my ass while I jacked off, even with a lot of lube, the entry at first of Mark's big cock was difficult and painful. Mark wanted to give up because he was afraid of hurting me. But I insisted that he continue. Slowly, his cock began to slide up inside of me and before it was even half way in the pain when away. Don't get me wrong, I can feel the fullness of him but when his cock slid across something up inside me, all of a sudden, it started to feel really good.

Finally, I could feel his pubic hair tickling the outside of my hole and I knew his cock was all the way up inside me. I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck pulling his face down to where I could kiss him. We'd sucked each others cock for years but we had never kissed. The kiss was overwhelming to me and we kept at it for a long time.

" Fucking shit! Why didn't we do that before?" Mark said.

" Too scared I guess." I replied.

" FUCK! You feel so good inside. All hot and wet."

" I love the feel of your cock inside me. Fuck me. Fuck me hard!"

" Are you sure? I don't wanna hurt you."

" Trust me! It won't hurt. It will just feel really good!"

Mark took me at my word and began slamming his cock in and out of my ass. Within a few minutes, I felt like I was going to come and to my surprise I hadn't even touched my cock.

" OH FUCK Mark! I'M GONNA CUM!"

" GO AHEAD! I AM TOO!"

As my white slimy come shut out all over my chest and belly, I could feel Mark's cock jerking in my ass shooting his load of cum deep inside me.

Eventually, Mark collapsed on top of me panting from the exertion. I held his muscular heaving body in my arms as he came down from his orgasm.

" That's the best yet! That's even better than a blow job! Even one of yours."

" And just think, you can't make me pregnant, no matter how many times we do it."

" Actually, I wish I could. I would love to have a son, and my mom's gonna be pissed when she finds out there aren't gonna be any grandchildren."

I don't exactly know what it was that made that sounds so funny but I started laughing which was a huge mistake because Mark's cock was still up my ass and the jerking of my body in laughter forced it out of my hole which really hurt.

" Shit! That really hurt!"

" What's the matter, babe?"

" I've got to remember not to laugh when you're still inside me."

I didn't say anything but I did notice the " babe". I guess now that we've had the ultimate joining between us it somehow deepened Mark's feelings towards me. At least I hoped that's what it meant. What I was afraid of, was he'd start thinking of me as a girl but I really didn't think that was going to happen.

The next morning, I woke up feeling Mark's hard cock nudging its way between my ass cheeks. Even asleep, he knew what he wanted and I was eager to give it to him. I moved back until the head of his cock was touching my hole. I pushed down until I can feel it begin to slide inside of me. I noticed that it was easier than it had been the night before, but then again, I had a whole load of Mark's cum inside me. I stopped pushing when I felt his cock begin to move inside me on its own. Once he had all of it in he started to slowly fuck me. I could also feel him kissing the back of my neck and shoulders.

" How the fuck did I get inside you?"

" I woke up and your cock was trying to get in my ass. Since it felt so good I let It."

" Oh fuck! What a great way to wake up. I wish I could do this every morning."

" I wish you could too! Because that would mean I would get to sleep with you every night."

" I promise you, babe, I'll find a way that we can be together all the time."

" Our parents will never allow that. They'd freak at the idea."

" Maybe now, but eventually they won't have anything to say about it. We'll be old enough that we can live our own lives anyway we Want to."

" But that will be so long! Where only 16."

" Yes, and next year we're both going to be seniors. After that, we'll go to college together and be together the rest of our lives."

" It sounds like you wanna get married."

" Would you?"

" What?"

" Marry me?"

It took me a few at minutes to answer because I was all choked up and there were tears coming out of my eyes.

" Who else would I marry? You're the only one I'm in love with."

" And you're the only one I'm in love with."

Mark fucked me good and hard that morning until we both got off. We took a shower and had fun running our hands over each other's bodies, another something we had never done with each other. This school day dragged on like it was 1000 hours long but finally the final bell rang and we could head to Mark's house and spend the rest of the afternoon until his parents got home making love to each other.

We followed Mark's plan and ended up going to college together even rooming in the same room. We went on to graduate school together where we both got degrees in law. We opened a law office together in a city across the state from where we grown up. Our parents would have preferred that we set up our practice in our hometown. They never realized why it was we didn't want to be close to them. However, after a few years the questions about when we were going to get married stopped. However, both our moms were incredibly happy when Mark got his wish and we adopted a son.

On the plaque which has our names outside our office, Mark's name comes first. I guess I'm still playing " follow them leader".

THE END OF FOLLOW THE LEADER

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