DISCLAIMER: The following story is a work of fiction. The characters are completely fictional. This is not saying anything about the sexual orientation of the Backstreet Boys.
WARNING: This story deals with homosexual themes. The sex will be light, but it will be present. If this offends you, don't read. If you are under 18 years of age, don't read. If reading this story causes you to break any laws, don't read.
FEEDBACK: This is my first story. So if I'm doing a horrible job, or if you love it, or if you just wanna say hi, email me at Kb79@aol.com and we can chat. Thanks a bunch.
FIXING THE BACKSTREET BOYS CHAPTER 8
"WE'RE WHAT???" Kevin screamed.
"Kevin, calm down." AJ said.
"Calm down? This nut job just told us that we are going to his house? I may not know everything about psychology practices, but I for sure know that's not professional!" Kevin near growled.
"Listen Kevin! You don't know everything! I can assure you I have done this before! I use my house as a neutral space for my clients! This way they can relax and get well without the stresses of their outside lives! It's been done a few times and has always been successful! It's being done with you five and you are just going to face it!" Aidan screamed back.
"Maybe you haven't noticed, we are five adults! No one tells us what we are going to do! If I don't want to go to some wacko's house, I don't have to! I'm not going, who is with me? Guys?" Kevin yelled again.
The room fell silent.
"Guys?" Kevin said softly.
"Sorry Kevin, we trust Aidan, we're going with him." Brian said as the other three nodded.
"You are really going to go to his house?" Kevin asked.
"Kevin, we still need help, especially you right now, can't you see that?" Howie said as he went to put an arm around Kevin.
Kevin shrugged him off. "Me? What about you? You've been acting like you have PMS for the passed few days. You've been so moody, I'd almost rather be alone with Aidan then with you!"
"That's IT!!!!" Aidan grabbed Kevin by the shirt collar and pulled him out of the room. He was small but he was strong, and caught off guard Kevin didn't have a chance. "Can't you act like a decent human being for 5 fucking minutes?"
"NO! With you around us I can't!" Kevin shouted at Aidan, grabbing his hand and yanking it off his shirt collar.
"WHY? What exactly is your problem with me?!?" Aidan yelled back at him. "I'm just doing my job! What I was hired by your management to do! I haven't been a jerk, haven't hurt you, I haven't done anything wrong at all! So exactly what is your problem with me?"
"I don't know... I really don't." Kevin said in a near whisper. He looked Aidan right in the eyes and then walked back into the room.
Aidan followed him back into the room.
"So I guess we are heading to South Carolina?" Kevin sighed.
The other four just looked at each other. They had heard Aidan and Kevin screaming at each other. But now Kevin was agreeing to go? What was that all about?
"Kev?" Brian said questioning.
"Don't say anything, I'm going, just smile and nod so we can get this over with." Kevin said defeated.
"We leave first thing in the morning. You guys will sleep on the bus tonight. Tomorrow we will leave for my place. Management is going to send over a van or something for us to use." Aidan said sternly.
"Where are you staying tonight?" Howie asked.
"I'm crashing on your couch tonight, everyone else has already left. This way I know everyone will be up and ready on time." Aidan answered.
A very quiet group of young men left the room right then. They walked to the bus and got in. Not a word was said as they all got ready for bed. Brian and AJ whispered to each other a few times, but other than that it was silent. They all were feeling very uneasy. There was just a bad vibe in the air.
Aidan settled himself on the couch and watched the guys head into the bunk room.
AJ and Brian gave each other a short kiss and then crawled into their bunks.
Thirty seconds later AJ was joining Brian in his bed.
Kevin sat on the edge of his own bunk and began to shake. He wanted a drink very badly, but was to upset at the current situation to fight anyone for it. So he just sat on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands and just shook.
Nick stood there and watched his best friend open up the covers to allow AJ in with him. Nights like tonight used to be the times Brian would open up those covers for Nick. Not anymore, AJ would be taking Nick's favorite 'comfort spot' from now on. Nick didn't want to sleep alone tonight. Nick turned and saw Kevin shaking on his bunk. He walked over to Kevin and held out his arms. Kevin looked up a him. Nick smiled and nodded. Kevin gave a weak smile and laid down on his side facing the wall. Nick laid down behind Kevin and threw an arm around his middle. They both needed something to sleep tonight, and it seemed for Nick and Kevin, all they had was each other.
Howie looked at both sets of his friends. He climbed into his own bunk and buried his head in his pillow. He suddenly felt more alone than ever. Howie began to sob as silently as he could, using the pillow to drown out the noise.
Aidan heard all of it from the couch. He knew he had caused the fowl mood and he felt a little bad, but he was in charge. They had to get used to that.
By the time everyone had the chance to think to themselves, 'What is going to happen to us?', they had all fallen asleep.
The morning went just as the night before had. Everyone was quiet and moody. Hand gestures, nods, and grunts were used instead of the English language. Aidan had woken everyone up too early for their liking.
The van arrived at 9:00 am and everyone gathered their things and loaded it up. Aidan took the driver seat, Howie climbed into shot gun, and everyone else got in the back. There was a collective sigh as they settled down for the long drive.
It was nearly an hour before someone said anything.
"So... what are we going to be doing at your house, Aidan?" Brian's voice creaked from the lack of use.
"Well Brian, eh-hem." Aidan coughed a little. "The five of you are going to work on the trust issues you all have. Kevin is going to get some much needed rest and work on his drinking problem. You and AJ are going to get the chance to develop their relationship away from prying eyes. I think Howie may be in for a little soul searching. And Nick, well Nick you get the chance to do whatever it is a normal 20 year old does during the summer for a little while. How does that sound to everyone?"
"Yeah, sounds fine." Brian answered
"Sure." Howie said.
"Uh-huh." Kevin mumbled.
There was no answer from AJ. Aidan looked in the rear view mirror and saw that AJ was asleep with his head in Brian's lap.
"What kinda things?" Nick asked.
"What kind of things will you be able to do? Well let's see... there's a lake where you can swim or use the little boat. There's a small mall nearby, and a movie theatre. My sister will probably be willing to show you around." Aidan told him.
"Your sister?!?" Kevin asked, very surprised.
"Yes, my sister, do you have a problem with that? Am I not allowed to have a sister?" Aidan sounded annoyed.
"No, I'm sorry I said it like that, it's just that you never mentioned you had a sister. How old is she?" Kevin tried to cover up his mistake with mock interest.
"17, she's a junior in high school." Aidan answered.
"Oh no." Nick muttered jokingly.
"Don't worry, knowing my sister, she doesn't even know who you guys are." Aidan smiled.
"What teenage girl doesn't know who we are?" Nick asked. "Do your parents keep her locked in a closet?"
"No, they keep her at my house." Aidan said. "She's more into Melissa Ethridge and Sarah something or other. I don't think I've ever heard her play your music."
"They keep her at your house? They don't live with you?" Howie asked.
"No, my sister and I live by ourselves, well almost by ourselves, my parents live in Europe. My stepfather got offered a job there last year and they couldn't pass it up. My sister refused to go, so I offered to take custody and let her live with me. We were both shocked when my mother said yes." Aidan filled them in.
"That is weird, you said almost by yourselves, do you have a dog or something?" Nick asked.
"A dog? No...haha." Aidan laughed for a second. "I'm glad they didn't hear you say that. You'd be missing vital organs."
"They?" Nick asked.
"My sister and her girlfriend. That's who lives with us also. Becca and Ashley have been dating for like 6 months now. It started off Becca was just supposed to stay with my sister, Ashley, whenever I was away working on a case, but somehow it became full time." Aidan said, still laughing slightly.
"You leave two 17 year olds home alone for that long? Aren't you worried something will happen to them, or they will throw a big party?" Howie asked.
"Not really, actually Becca is a little older, that's why I trust her at the house, she's 19. Ashley doesn't exactly have a big group of friends, so I don't worry about parties." Aidan continued.
"Why doesn't she have a lot of friends?" Nick asked.
"Probably because Aidan is her brother." Kevin muttered softly.
"I'll ignore that, because I know you are a better person than to start in on my family." Aidan shot back at him in a very fierce voice. "Actually the reason is very unfortunate. She didn't want to keep her relationship with Becca a secret so when she introduced her girlfriend to everyone at school, they all freaked. Lesbians aren't as popular in small country towns as they are in big cities."
"Wait, your sister's a lesbian?" Nick asked.
"Duh Nick! What did you think it meant when Aidan said she has a girlfriend?" Howie asked.
"I thought he meant like a friend that was a girl, I didn't think he meant they were lesbians." Nick looked embarrassed.
"Only Ashley is a lesbian, Becca is bisexual, she might know who you guys are. I heard hey arguing with Ashley about 'Boybands' once, she might have been talking about you." Aidan smiled again.
"Make up your damn mind! Do we need to hide from two fans or are we fucking safe?" Kevin spit out.
"Not that you even deserves a response, but you five are safe. Ashley and Becca don't give a damn about pink music." Aidan said in a mocking tone.
"Pink music?" Kevin asked.
"Yeah, pink music. That's what my sister refers to manufactured, bubble gum pop. You know the kind that requires good looking people, sounds exactly like the rival groups, and has just as many gay 20 something year old fans as 12 year old teeny boppers." Aidan shot at Kevin.
"Manufactured? Exactly like the rivals? You fucking asshole!" Kevin leaped toward the driver's seat. "I'm going to kill you!"
Howie blocked Kevin's path to Aidan. Howie stood up as well as anyone can in a van.
"Get your sorry ass back into that fucking seat. I see you get up again I'm going to tell the management you need to go into rehab." Howie threatened as he pushed Kevin back into the car seat.
"You wouldn't." Kevin said unconvincingly.
"Just watch me, I can't take your shit anymore, you've become a complete and utter pain in the ass. No one can stand you anymore, you've let us all down, between the drinking and your behavior towards Aidan. You aren't the Kevin we love anymore." Howie said fiercely.
"Howie!" Nick said shocked. "Don't say that to him!"
"Yeah?" Howie asked Nick sarcastically.
"Yeah!" Nick demanded.
"Why not Nick? All the sudden you are Kevin's big protector, what the hell is with that? When did you become 'big brother' to 'daddy'? Slight role reversal isn't it? Or could it be we have another pair of faggots in this group? Don't think I haven't noticed the fact you two have slept together the last two nights!" Howie said, with a voice full of hate.
Everyone's jaws dropped. Nick was the first to speak up.
"HOWIE! What the hell is your problem? Do you realize you just tore apart all four of us in one sitting? Kevin and I are not sleeping together, nor are there any 'faggots' in this group. As for protecting Kevin, what's wrong for sticking up for him once and a while, hell knows he does it for us enough, especially you! How dare you tell the man who saves your butt every other day and is always there when you need him that you don't love him anymore! And don't you dare say it as if you were speaking for the group!"
Howie sank to the car floor, wedged between the passenger and driver seats.
"I'm so sorry, I have no idea what just came over me. Kevin, I didn't mean that, of course I still love you. I know you are having problems and it isn't really your fault. And Brian, AJ... I don't believe I called you guys faggots, I didn't mean it, accept my apology?" Howie pleaded as the tears spilled down his cheek.
"Yeah Howie, we forgive you." Brian said softly, as AJ groggily nodded his head, the fighting had only just woken him up. "We know you are upset, but try not to take it out on us, talking about it with us is easier."
"Kev?" Howie asked frightened. "Do you forgive me?"
Kevin didn't answer. He was looking straight ahead, out the windshield. There was no expression on his face, it was completely blank.
"Kevin? Kevin answer Howie. Kevin are you okay?" Nick asked, shaking Kevin's shoulder.
Kevin continued to just stare out into space.
"Aidan! Aidan pull over, something is wrong with Kevin!" Nick shouted.
"I can't. We're doing 75 mph down a major highway! There isn't even a shoulder for me to pull over on to. Kevin? Are you okay? Don't pull any shit right now, you're scaring us." Aidan said as he looked in the rear view mirror at Kevin.
Kevin just continued to stare.
"Aidan look! There is a rest stop up ahead, pull over there!" Brian exclaimed, pointing to the right side of the road.
"Okay! Let me see if I can merge over there that quickly." Aidan said as he attempted to switch over three lanes in order to make a turn that was just a few yards away.
The large van missed getting hit by inches, but it made it to the rest stop.
Aidan jumped out of the driver's seat and ran around the van, threw open the side doors, and got in the back of the van.
Kevin was still just sitting there. Aidan did typical medical things he remembered from very basic classes. He checked Kevin's pulse, his breathing, and his eyes.
"What's wrong Aidan? Is he sick? Is he in shock? Aidan say something! What is it?" Brian screamed from his spot in the back seat.
Nick sank back into the corner of the seat and began to cry. Brian followed suit and collapsed into AJ's arms.
Howie was now kneeling in front of Kevin and had grabbed his hand. Howie was softly mumbling, "I'm so sorry, what have I done?"
Aidan was looking at Kevin, searching for a sign of life. Everyone around him was freaking out and Aidan really had no clue what to do. He was a therapist not a medical doctor.
Aidan was just about to jump back into the driver's seat and rush to the nearest hospital.
All of the sudden Kevin shot Aidan a look, a pathetic, pleading look, but it said so much. Kevin was fine, he just couldn't take all of this anymore.
"AJ, you are the most in control at the moment. Take the car keys and finish the driving for me, there's only about an hour left." Aidan demanded.
"Give them to me, I'll drive." Howie said gathering his composure.
"You're too emotional right now." Aidan answered.
"Yeah, but AJ doesn't have a driver's license." Howie said with a small smile.
"You boys." Aidan shook his head. "Nick get in the passenger seat. Howie just get back on the highway, I'll give you directions as we go."
Aidan sat on the back seat and forced Kevin to lay against him. Kevin shot him bewildered, pained look, that obviously said he didn't want to be leaning on Aidan. Aidan shot back a look that said, 'Stay where the fuck you are, or I'll give away your secret!'
Kevin relaxed after about a half an hour of being as stiff as a board against Aidan. Aidan thought for a second that maybe Kevin was finally beginning to trust him. Nope, he had fallen asleep.
"Aidan?" Nick turned around from the front seat. "Is Kevin going to be okay?"
"Yeah Nick, Kevin is going to be fine. He is just very stressed and isn't completely feeling like himself right now. He needs some major rest and everyone's support." Aidan whispered.
"What happened to him?" Whispered AJ, who was holding a sleeping Brian.
"I think it is temporary shock, brought on by everything that has happened in such a short amount of time. To be completely cliché, that little spout from Howie was probably the straw that broke the camels back." Aidan said, pausing a second to stroke Kevin's dark hair.
"You don't really hate him, do you?" Nick said with an extremely innocent voice.
"No Nick." Aidan said softly, with a smile. "Not at all, I actually hold a lot of respect for Kevin. He does so much, I mean you all work very hard, but it's amazing to see the unselfishness he puts into this group. I mean I even saw that before I came to work for you five. He seems to be a pretty amazing guy."
"Than why are you so rough on him?" AJ asked.
"Why is he so rough on me? I don't really know the answer to either of those. Maybe Kevin and I just have clashing personalities, I'm not sure. We seem to have some things in common, even to the point that if we could get over this fighting we could probably be friends." Aidan whispered, with a wishful look on his face as he looked down at Kevin's closed eyes.
"Ohh... well that's good, I guess." Nick said softly. He turned around and began to talk to Howie very quietly.
"Give Kev time, you're right he is an amazing guy. Once all the group problems and his personal problems are worked out, I bet you will see a completely different guy in Kevin, a guy who will become your buddy." AJ said as he held Brian closer and kissed the top of his blond head.
Kevin stirred against Aidan. Aidan looked down at him, he appeared to still be asleep.
But as fate usually has it, he wasn't. Kevin had heard everything that had just been said. He wanted to shout to AJ and Nick that he loved them to death, he wanted to tell Aidan he wanted to try and be nice to each other so that they could be friends, but most of all he wanted Aidan to hold him tight as he cried. It made no sense to Kevin, but he felt the need to be held like a child and to be allowed to release everything that had been building for so long, he just didn't remember how to do that anymore. He'd been repressing everything for so long, he wasn't exactly sure where his release valve was.
The next hour or so went as well as could be expected. Brian and AJ slept in the back of the van. Aidan held Kevin as he rested and gave Howie directions. Howie drove and Nick kept him company by keeping up the idle chitchat.
They arrived at Aidan's house around 1:30 in the afternoon. It was in the middle of the woods, with a small lake behind the cabin like building. As Aidan had said, it was a good 20 minutes from town, and very secluded.
As soon as the van pulled in the driveway two girls came running out. The shorter of the two was petite, but not really skinny. She had long dark hair, with hints of red. The rest of her looked exactly like Aidan. This was obviously Ashley. She had on a black wife beater, a pair of cut off jeans shorts that were hanging dangerously low on her hips, and a pair of black calf length Doc Martens. The girl behind her was softer in appearance. Slightly taller, with more of a figure, the young lady had shoulder length dark blonde hair, amazing hazel eyes, and a classically cut face. She was dressed in simple jeans and a lacey top. She had to be Becca.
"Ashley, Becca, I love you both, I've missed you terribly..." Aidan said quickly.
"But?" Ashley interjected with a smile.
"But, you little pain in the ass, I need to get this young man inside, quickly. So I'm trusting you and Becca to have the other four inside and comfortable by the time I have him settled. Comprende?" Aidan said as he began to move Kevin out of the car. "Howie? Can you help me carry him inside?"
Howie helped hoist Kevin out of the car and into the house.
"Where are we going to bring him?" Howie asked once they had Kevin in the front door.
"Let's bring him upstairs to one of the bedrooms." Aidan answered directing him toward the stairs.
Kevin was getting heavy, so Aidan decided to just drop him in the first bedroom that was available, his.
It was a room done in maroons, navy blues, and forest greens. All the furniture was a beautiful dark wood, including the huge 4 poster bed in the middle of it all. On which the two young men tossed Kevin.
"Howie, thanks man, now go downstairs and let my sister play gracious hostess while I make sure Kevin is alright, or at least comfortable." Aidan directed.
"Sure, no prob Aidan." Howie said as he went back down the stairs.
"Ok, wake up now Kevin, there is no way you slept through the two of us carrying you in the house." Aidan said softly, just in case he really was asleep.
Kevin slowly opened one eye. When he saw that Aidan was the only one in the room he sheepishly whispered, "Hi."
"Hi." Aidan said carefully. "How are you feeling?"
"Okay, I guess, I kinda feel like I got hit by an emotion truck, but otherwise I'm alright." Kevin mumbled.
"An emotion truck? That's a cute saying. I may steal that. I'm taking it that the crap that Howie pulled was the last straw?" Aidan asked.
"Between you degrading our music style and Howie saying he doesn't like the person I've become, that I let them all down, yeah it was a little much." Kevin said, studying his hands. "Thanks for covering for me."
"I wish I hadn't had to, you scared the shit out of all of them. They thought you were going to die or something." Aidan proceeded to take off Kevin's shoes. "And I'm sorry about what I said about your music."
"What are you doing?" Kevin asked pulling his feet from Aidan's grasped.
"You need to rest, you may have faked most of that episode, but there was some reality there. You are not leaving this bed for the rest of the day, possibly even tomorrow." Aidan said.
"Okay..." Kevin said slowly. "But I can undress myself."
"If I leave you here, will you rest?" Aidan asked.
"Yeah, I really need some." Kevin began to finish taking off his shoes as Aidan went for the door. "Aidan?"
"Yeah Kev?" Aidan turned back toward the bed.
"Do you wanna know why I did it?" Kevin asked halting a little at the words.
"If you want to tell me Kevin." Aidan said.
"I didn't know what to do." Kevin said.
"What to do?" Aidan questioned.
"Yeah, when Howie was yelling at me, I froze, it was if I lost complete control. I couldn't yell, I couldn't talk, I couldn't move. It was scary." Kevin barely got those words out of his mouth.
"It must have been. Do you want to sit and talk about it?" Aidan asked, motioning he could sit down on the bed.
"Nah, not right now, I'm tired, I wanna take a nap." Kevin said with a yawn as he sprawled across Aidan's bed.
"Okay, later than." Aidan began to leave the room. "Sweet dreams Kev." He said so quietly, Aidan wasn't sure he even heard himself say it.
Downstairs Becca and Ashley had moved all of the bags into the living room. They had the four other boys sitting at the kitchen table drinking glasses of something and picking at a plate of brownies.
When Aidan entered the room everyone jumped up.
"Is Kevin okay?" Brian asked.
"Yeah, did he wake up?" Nick asked.
"Sit down guys and I'll tell you." Aidan said.
Everyone sat back down and looked earnestly at Aidan. Aidan walked over to Ashley and gave her a huge hug and a kiss on her cheek, than he did the same for Becca.
"Hi sweeties, how have you two been?" Aidan asked as he sat down.
"The two of us our fine, but I believe you should tell these guys what's up with their friend before they all explode." Ashley answered gesturing toward the anxious young men.
"Kevin is fine, he woke up once he was on the bed. He said he was feeling a lot better, just very, very tired. He apologizes for scaring you all. I suggest you wait to visit him until after he has had a nap." Aidan informed them.
"Okay, you're sure he is gonna be alright?" Howie asked.
"Yes Howie, don't worry, he'll be back to himself in a day or two." Aidan said. "Becca, Ashley, once the guys are finished with their snacks, will you show them where they can put their stuff?"
"Who are we putting in what rooms?" Ashley asked.
"Well at the moment Kevin is in mine, put AJ and Brian in the blue room with the queen size bed, put Howie and Nick in the green room with the bunk beds. Being Kev is in my bed, I'll just sleep in Becca's room." Aidan explained.
"Where will I sleep?" Becca said with a smile.
"Like you ever actually sleep in your own bed." Aidan said returning the smile. "Now show the guys to their rooms."
"Sure, no problem, just one question." Ashley said to Aidan.
"Okay, what is it?" Aidan looked at Ashley questionably.
"Who is Brian, Harry, AJ, and Ned?" Ashley asked.
Everyone, but Ashley and Becca, cracked up laughing.
"I guess you weren't joking when you said they didn't know who we are." Nick said.
"I know 'who' you are, The Backstreet Boys, I'm not that out of it. I'm just not sure of your names, or anything else about you. I don't even know what you all sing." Ashley said, flashing them a smile.
The four guys returned that smile full force.
"Hi, I'm Nick Carter." Nick said offering his hand. Howie, AJ, and Brian followed Nick's example.
"Well now that I have a clue, I'll show you where you all will be staying. Aidan, you did realize you put two people in a room that has only one bed right?" Ashley asked as Becca and her began to pick up the luggage.
"Yeah Ashley, I know, don't worry, it's fine." Aidan said quickly, hoping the subject would be dropped.
"I'm not worried, just interested. What? Are all the BackDoor Boys rumors true?" Ashley said with a laugh.
Everyone stopped short.
"Ashley." Aidan said with a warning tone.
"Aidan, it's okay. We'll be here for a while, she would have found out pretty soon. Ashley, Becca, just so you know, Brian and I are a couple." AJ said seriously.
"A couple of what?" Ashley said with a completely straight face.
"ASHLEY!!!" Aidan screamed.
Ashley burst out laughing. "I'm sorry! I had to. You were just looking at me so seriously, like you were telling me a government secret. If you were expecting a flip out you're looking at the wrong girl. Don't worry guys, from the moment you walked in I could tell the two of you were in love, you're secret is safe with me. Come on."
The six of them went upstairs to find the rooms that they would be staying in. They passed one closed door, and a door with a large rainbow sticker on it.
"Oh yeah." Ashley said quickly. "The first door on the right is Aidan's room, but I think guy # 5 is in there. The first door on the left is where you can find Becca and I, that's my room. The room next to Aidan's in Becca's, but that's where Aidan will be staying. Confusing I know, but does everyone have it?"
They all nodded.
"The room next to mine is the green room and the one at the end of the hallway is the blue room. Can you guys remember all of that?" Ashley said.
"Guys, you have to ignore Ashley's personality. She's crazy, usually she's not trying to be rude, she just thinks she's funny." Becca tried to explain.
"No problem, it's actually kinda amusing to see how she treats us." AJ answered.
"Not used to having girls who aren't flinging themselves at you?" Ashley asked.
"Ha-ha." Nick said sarcastically.
"Oh... you are the articulate one!" Ashley said with a laugh. "I hope you are the one that Becca and I get to show around, because I can just tell we'll have a blast."
"You're being sarcastic aren't you?" Nick said confused.
Everyone began to laugh.
"Nah... she's never sarcastic. Actually you look like you are a barrel of fun. You don't happen to like video games do you? I am so tired of beating Ashley at all of them." Becca said flashing a Nick a smile as she placed some bags down in the green room.
"Like video games? They're more of an obsession. What system do you have?" Nick asked, a smile returning to his face.
"Playstation and Nintendo 64. When you guys are all done unpacking I'll show you the games we have." Becca said, still smiling.
Nick ran into the room and began to throw his stuff around.
"Ashley, I hope you didn't actually want to spend anytime with your girlfriend while we were here, because if Nick has his way, she'll be with him 24/7." Howie said to her with a laugh.
"He wishes. I know the one thing that will pull her away from video games." Ashley said confidently.
"I don't know Ashe, he's kinda cute, I may float back that way." Becca said with a smirk.
Ashley hit Becca lightly on the back of the head.
"Okay, Howie, you're in there with Nick, good luck. If the bunk beds are completely unbearable they do come apart, but there will be no room left to walk. Just a warning." Ashley said as she continued to walk down the hallway.
She stopped at another room. She opened the door and it revealed a light blue décor, complete with a large bed pushed up against one wall.
"You two will be in here." Becca said, helping Ashley bring in the remaining bags.
"Thanks." AJ and Brian said together.
"Awww... now that was cute." Ashley said with a smile. "Guys, I hope I didn't embarrass you downstairs. I think it's really cool that you found each other and I wish you the best of luck. I just forget decorum sometimes and shot my mouth off."
"Thanks Ashley, that's really cool of you. And don't worry about downstairs, we'll live." AJ answered.
"Come on Ashley, let's leave everyone alone for awhile. They are probably beat after the long trip." Becca said pulling on Ashley's arm.
Ashley and Becca began to walk down the hall. They went down stairs to join Aidan in the kitchen. The found him with his arms folded on the table, and his head buried in his arms.
"Aidan! Are you okay?" Ashley said, rushing over to her brother.
Aidan sat up straight. "Yeah sweetie, I'm okay. It's just has been a long couple of days."
"Really? What's been going on?" Becca asked.
"You know I can't tell you that Becca." Aidan answered.
"I didn't mean with the guys, I meant with you. You usually aren't this stressed out by a group of clients." Becca answered with concern in her voice.
"Well it's kind of hard to explain what's going on with me without talking about the guys." Aidan tried to explain.
"Come on Aidan, I know you better than that. What is it? It can't be all them, you have to be able to say something about yourself. Isn't that what you always say to your clients? Don't always blame it on others, find your role in the situation?" Ashley tried to coax Aidan into talking.
"You guys really want to hear about it?" Aidan asked.
"Would we ask?" Ashley smirked.
"Ok, here it goes. Ever since I've been with the boys, I've been having this dream." Aidan began.
"A nightmare?" Becca asked.
"No, it's scary, but I wouldn't call it a nightmare. It's different, it is so hard to explain." Aidan said.
"Just tell us about it, the minute you say it out loud, it will probably make more sense." Ashley offered.
"It's almost like a sex dream..." Aidan started again.
"A sex dream?!?" Ashley stated.
"Ashley, stop it, let him finish!" Becca instructed.
"I don't know if sex dream is the right label, there really isn't any 'sex' in it. But the whole situation is involves, it's extremely erotic." Aidan said.
"What's the situation?" Becca asked.
"It's been the same every time. It starts right after something big has happened. I'm sitting there shaking and terrified and then this guy..." Aidan started again.
"Guy?" Ashley interrupted again.
"ASHLEY, IF YOU SAY ONE MORE WORD WHILE AIDAN'S TALKING AND I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS!!!" Becca shouted at her. "Continue Aidan."
"Well... this guy is there, he's been there the whole time, and he comes over and gives me a hug. He makes me sit down and he's comforting me and all. And then all of the sudden he kisses me, we start making out, and then we end up in the 69 position. I can't believe I'm telling you two this." Aidan hung his head.
Becca gave Aidan a hug. "Aidan, it's okay. You've caught Ashley and I doing worse. All you're telling us about is a dream. It's okay."
"Thanks Becca, you're amazing." Aidan returned the hug. "Okay Ashley, you look like you're going to explode. Becca can she talk now?"
"If she promises to find some respect for others." Becca said as she shot Ashley a warning look.
Ashley took a deep breath and said slowly. "You're dreaming about a guy? I mean I know you've never had a girlfriend, or a date for that matter, but I always figured it was because you are so devoted to your work. I never thought you were gay."
"Hold up Ashley! Who said I was gay?" Aidan said panicked.
"Well, you had an erotic dream about a guy, possibly one of 'the guys', that says something about your sexuality I think." Ashley stated.
"It's just a dream Ashley, it doesn't necessarily mean he's gay. Do you think it's about one of your clients Aidan?" Becca asked.
"I don't know for sure, but it does seem it might be one of them. The strangest part is that it seems to be the guy who I get along with the least. I'd go as far as to say that this guy hates me." Aidan explained.
"Really? That's weird, all of the guys seem to get along with you, they seem to like you a lot." Becca sounded confused.
"Yeah, those guys seem so relaxed and comfortable with you. From what I saw in the kitchen, if I didn't know better I'd think AJ, Howie, Nick, Brian, and you knew each other for a long time. Oh wait..." Ashley paused. "It's the other one isn't it? The one we haven't met yet. What did they say his name was? Keith?"
"Kevin." Aidan said in a near whisper.
"Kevin? Are you in love with him Aidan?" Becca asked softly.
"No! Hell no! He's a client, he hates me! He's a guy..." Aidan trailed off.
"So?" Ashley asked. "He's a client, that I understand, he doesn't seem to like you, that I understand, but so what if he's a guy?"
"Remember what you used to tell us, you don't choose what you love, you choose who you love." Becca added.
"I don't love him!" Aidan demanded.
"Okay, okay Aidan, maybe we are just reading into this dream to much." Becca said rubbing his shoulder.
"I can't be thinking about this right now! I have a case to finish!" Aidan stood up and walked toward his office, which was in the basement.
"Is Aidan okay?" Ashley and Becca looked up to see Nick standing there.
"Yeah, we just drive him nuts." Ashley flashed a fake smile. "We were just telling him about the day Becca let me cut school, and to say the least, he was a little mad."
"How much of that were you forced to hear?" Becca asked.
"Just the last part about him having a case to finish. I only just came downstairs." Nick answered honestly.
"Sorry about that." Becca said.
"Hey, no problem. He's seen us yell enough." Nick smiled. "I came down because I am all unpacked. Do you want to play a video game now?"
"Well that was quick." Becca laughed.
"Sorry, it's just that it's been months since the guys have played a game with me, and well you can only beat the computer so many times." Nick said with a sheepish smile.
"Come on, the systems set up in Ashley's room. Let's go." Becca grabbed Nick's hand and dragged him up the stairs.
"Ashley come down here for a second." Aidan called from his office.
Ashley went downstairs.
"What's up mon frere?" Ashley asked.
"Do you remember when I was studying trust exercises and I made you try some of them out with me?" Aidan asked as he sat at his desk looking over psychology notebooks.
"Yeah, those were fun. Reminded me of field day in grammar school, or a retreat." Ashley answered with a smile.
"Which did you think were the most affective? I know it seems cheesy, but I think I'm going to try a few with the guys." Aidan said.
"Well, those ones where you had to trust the person to catch you, those worked good. And use that blind exercise, where you lead the person around. If what you are looking for is for the guys to trust each other again, those will work great." Ashley answered.
"Yeah, that's pretty much what I need to do with them as a group. Thanks Ashe, you're the best." Aidan gave a her a hug and walked toward the door. "I need to go check on everyone."
Aidan walked out of the room and headed up the stairs.
He poked his head into Ashley's room. Becca and Nick were sitting in front of the television. Both of them were laughing and jumping around, controllers in hand.
'Well that's good. At least Nick is already beginning to get a chance to act like a normal 20 year old. He looks like he's having a great time, but then again who wouldn't, getting to spend time with Becca. This will be good for her too, lately her whole life has been Ashley.' Aidan thought to himself.
"Hi guys. Having fun?" Aidan asked.
"Yeah!" Nick said, pausing a second to look away from the television. "You were right Aidan, this is just what I needed. I can't talk to much right now, if I turn away for too long, she'll kick my ass!"
"okay, you two have fun! I'll be around later." Aidan laughed as he turned out of the room.
Aidan continued down the hallway. He stopped at Nick and Howie's room and knocked.
There was no answer.
"Howie? Howie are you in there?" Aidan asked.
"Yeah." Howie answered blandly.
"Can I come in?" Aidan asked.
"If you have too." Howie answered.
Aidan turned the handle and found Howie lying on the bottom bunk staring out the window. Aidan couldn't see his face, but there was a pile of damp tissues on the ground next to him.
"How's the soul searching going Howie? You finding any answers?" Aidan asked.
"Yeah, I think I found what I was looking for." Howie admitted.
"Really? Is that a good thing? Are you feeling better?" Aidan asked.
"No. I'm not. I feel worse." Howie was cutting his words short.
"Can I sit down?" Aidan asked, walking closer to Howie.
"Yeah, go ahead." Howie pulled his legs up to his chest to allow room for Aidan to sit down.
"What's up Howie? You said you found your answer. Tell me about it." Aidan pressed.
Howie mumbled something that Aidan didn't catch.
"Come on Howie, it'll be okay. Just tell me, you should get it off your chest." Aidan said softly, placing a hand on Howie's shoulder.
"I was in love with AJ." Howie said just loud enough for Aidan to hear this time.
"You were in love with AJ? You're not anymore?" Aidan asked softly, rubbing Howie's back.
"No, I'm not. I thought I was and maybe that's why I have felt so awful lately. But no matter how hard I think about it, I'm not. I'll admit to myself I was at one point, but I'm not anymore." Howie said as the tears started to come again.
"So what is it that's making you feel so awful?" Aidan asked, throwing his arm around Howie pulling him closer.
Howie leaned himself on Aidan and dabbed at his eyes with a tissue.
"I'm jealous. But I don't know of what. At first I thought it was of Brian, but it isn't. I'm so happy for them. But all this pain I'm feeling, it's jealousy. I'm so confused."
"Are you gay Howie?" Aidan asked, holding onto the distraught man.
"Yeah, I am. I've known forever. That's why Howie D. is always single for all the fans. The guys don't know. I should have come out when everyone Brian and AJ did, but hell, I was already feeling like this at that point. I just couldn't." Howie sounded so confused.
"Howie I don't think you're jealous of Brian for having AJ, especially if you aren't interested in him anymore. What I think, is that you are jealous of their situation. You are jealous they have the freedom to be who they really are in front of the guys, jealous that they have someone to be with. Does that sound like it might be it?" Aidan offered.
"Maybe, I don't know anymore." Howie answered.
"Think about it, would you feel better if the guys knew about this? It would be a huge secret off your chest. And then you wouldn't have to hide from them. Maybe you could find a boyfriend. No more lies." Aidan told Howie. "So were you lying to me last session?"
"About AJ and I having the same taste in women and all that shit? Yeah, well only sorta, I used to always agree with AJ when he was trying to pick up women, so I wouldn't seem queer. And I guess I lied about why I was doing the soul searching." Howie took a deep breath. "I think you may be right Aidan. I'm feeling so rotten because I'm jealous of what they have, not who they're with."
"Do you think you should tell the other guys? I bet that would do a lot to relieve the bad feelings." Aidan suggested.
"I want to, I really do. But I need to wait for the right time. Kevin is in a bad way right now, I don't want to add this stress on him too." Howie answered.
"Are you going to tell them when everything is looking better?" Aidan asked.
"Yeah, I need to." Howie answered.
"Good. I bet you will feel a lot better." Aidan said.
"I hope so. Hell, I'm feeling better right now. Thanks Aidan, you're turning out to be a great friend." Howie said, giving Aidan a hug.
"Good, I'm glad to hear that. You guys are becoming good friends to me too. I don't know how professional it is, but it's kind of refreshing." Aidan admitted, returning the hug. "I want to go check on everyone else, is that okay, or do you want me to stay with you?"
"Nah, go see how everyone is. I think I may take a nap." Howie answered.
"Okay, good, rest. I'll wake you up later for dinner." Aidan said as he stood up and headed for the door.
Aidan left the room feeling better about this whole situation. He continued down the hall until he reached the last door. It was opened slightly.
"Hey guys, can I come in for a moment?" Aidan asked.
"Sure, come on in." Brian said.
"How are you guys doing?" Aidan asked.
"Good, it's really quiet and relaxing here. It's very nice Aidan." AJ said.
"Thank you AJ. That's why I think it's so good for my clients. Most of them don't get a chance to relax like this." Aidan smiled at them. "What have you guys been doing?"
"Just laying here, talking, relaxing, stuff like that." Brian answered.
"That's good. I think this time away from the world will be very good for your relationship. You two can go around being a couple without having to worry about anyone seeing you. You can take walks, hold hands, kiss, all that stuff without a care. Does that sound good?" Aidan asked.
"Yes, yes it does." AJ smiled and gave Brian a quick kiss.
"We're going to have dinner at 6:30, do whatever you want until then. Nick is playing Nintendo with Becca, Howie is resting in his room, and hopefully Kevin is sleeping. Ashley is downstairs working on dinner, I'm going to go check on Kevin and then give her a hand. I'll give you guys a call when it's all ready." Aidan told them.
"Cool, thanks Aidan." Brian said.
Aidan left the room and headed for his own. He knocked on the door. No answer. He slowly turned the knob. Kevin was curled up in his bed fast asleep. He looked 5 year younger just laying there completely relaxed. There was no scowl, no worried look in the eyes, nothing but Kevin, vulnerable and strangely beautiful. Aidan didn't know if he was homosexual, but if he was, he could imagine falling in love with a man like Kevin Scott Richardson. Aidan didn't want to wake him up so he quietly left the room. He would bring dinner up to him later.
Aidan went down and assisted Ashley in preparing supper. An hour and a half later they were calling everyone to the table. They all sat down to a good home cooked meal and nice conversation. Everyone's moods were already lightened and it all went smoothly. Once Aidan was finished he excused himself, saying he was going to bring Kevin a plate. Brian and AJ offered to help the girls with the dishes, while Howie and Nick said they were going to attempt to make a pot of coffee.
Aidan went upstairs to Kevin's room. He was going to knock, but his hands were full. He decided to call out instead.
"Kevin? Can you open the door please, my hands are full, I brought you up some dinner." Aidan said through the door.
"Sure." Kevin said from right behind him.
Aidan jumped a good foot. He would have dropped the glass of milk he was holding if Kevin hadn't had such quick reflexes.
"You scared the shit out of me." Aidan said attempting to catch his breath.
"Sorry, I just got up to use the bathroom, I wasn't trying to frighten you." Kevin said opening the door. "Thanks for bringing up dinner, you didn't have to do that, I would have come down to eat."
"I want you to rest, you can eat in bed." Aidan answered, indicating he should get back in the bed.
Kevin climbed back in bed, he put some pillows behind his back so he could sit up comfortably. "Ya know, I haven't had a meal in bed since I was like eight and had the chickenpox."
"Well, you are going to have dinner here tonight, and possibly a meal or two tomorrow. So don't get messy." Aidan said as he placed the food in front of Kevin and handed him a napkin and utensils. Once Kevin had everything he needed Aidan turned to leave.
"Don't leave." Kevin said. "Stay and keep me company while I eat."
"Why don't I go ask one of the guys to?" Aidan answered nervously.
"Nah, they're supposed to be resting too. You stay with me, please?" Kevin almost had a puppy dog look in his eyes.
"Okay, if that's what you want." Aidan reluctantly sat on the opposite side and end of the bed that Kevin was at. "So, how are you feeling?"
"Better, a lot better. Sleep did wonders. I bet some good food will too." Kevin said as he began to eat.
"I'm glad to hear that. Eat slowly, after the shock you went through today, eating to much, to quickly could make you sick." Aidan instructed.
"Okay mom." Kevin said with a smile.
"Sorry, I can't help it, it's to much in my nature." Aidan said apologetically.
"It's alright, I'm just busting. I do the same thing, why do you think they call me 'Daddy'?" Kevin said smiling at him.
"You sure seem to be in a better mood." Aidan said softly.
"I guess I am. How are the other guys doing?" Kevin asked between mouthfuls.
"Good, really good." Aidan brightened up a little. "Nick's playing video games with Becca, Howie's mood has greatly improved, and AJ and Brian are being, well being happily in love. As cheesy as that sounds."
"Great, that's a large weight off my shoulders." Kevin sat back and sighed.
"You okay Kevin?" Aidan asked.
"Yeah, I'm okay." Kevin took a deep breath. "Can we talk now?"
"Sure, have you had enough to eat?" Aidan asked.
"Yeah, it was great. Are you changing the subject?" Kevin asked.
"No, I just want to make sure you are okay before we start." Aidan tried to explain.
"Okay, I'm fine though. Do you remember what I said last time you were in here, before you left?" Kevin asked.
"Yeah, that you had lost control and that it scared you." Aidan offered.
"Yeah, that." Kevin said softly as he looked around the room. "This is a really nice room to be used for a guest room."
"It's not a guest room, but thank you. Now you're the one changing the subject." Aidan said.
"What do you mean it's not a guest room?" Kevin asked.
"Just that, it's my room." Aidan answered.
"Why am I in your room?" Kevin asked.
"Because it's the closet room to the front door. Howie and I aren't exactly big guys, carrying your buffness isn't easy." Aidan said sarcastically.
The two men paused for a second. Aidan was afraid that Kevin was going to start yelling at him again.
He didn't. Kevin started to laugh.
"My buffness, you are a weird man Dr. Conner." Kevin said shaking his head.
"Dr. Conner? Aren't we getting formal?" Aidan adjusted his seat a little on the bed. "So you want to finish talking?"
"Aren't we talking now?" Kevin asked with a gleam in his eye.
Aidan shot him a look.
"Just kidding. I guess I'm stalling aren't I?" Kevin asked.
"Just a little." Aidan answered. "You know, if you aren't ready, we can do this some other time."
"No! I'm ready, I want to get this off my chest." Kevin assured him.
"Okay then." Aidan said simply.
"First, do you mind if I put on some music?" Kevin asked, going over to the CD player.
"If you need to stall for a few more seconds, go ahead." Aidan said with a small laugh.
Kevin hit the play button.
"What's in here?" He asked.
"Probably Meatloaf, he's my favorite." Aidan answered. And sure enough Bat Out of Hell 2 started to play softly.
"Really? He's okay, for some reason the guys think I'm really into him, but I only own like one CD, and I'm not even sure what it is." Kevin chatted mindlessly for a second. "I'm really stalling now,"
"Maybe just a little." Aidan answered, enjoying hearing the strands of the ballad flow.
"I'm ready now." Kevin said.
"Okay. Go ahead, we have plenty of time." Aidan said softly.
"I like being in control. It makes me feel safe. I usually have control of everything. My emotions, my life, my surroundings. But not recently, recently I haven't had control of anything, not even myself." Kevin began.
"Control is important. But you can't be neurotic about it. You have to admit you can't control everything and when you try to, that's when you lose all control." Aidan said softly.
"I think I learned that the hard way. A few months ago I started to take on more and more that I was trying to control. It got to the point where I was handling so much it kept me up at night. That's when I started drinking. It has been more than a few weeks, it's been more like 4 months. Since I started drinking I have had no control of anything. Look at me. Even since you've been here you can see it. I have no control over my emotions, Howie had to take over my group responsibilities, and I almost beat the shit out of Nick. All of this I usually can control without even thinking about it. Now I can't even control the words that come out of my mouth. Look what happened to me in the van. I pretended to go into shock, just to avoid what I couldn't control." Kevin took a deep breath. "Aidan, I've never been so scared in my life."
"Kevin, as long as you keep from drinking, I believe you will see things start to get better. Give that a few more days, let your body adapt to having no alcohol in it. That will immediately start to give you back some control. But on the issue of control. Controlling your life isn't living it. You have to learn to put some trust in everyone else. All five of you need to work on that, and we will, the minute you are feeling up to getting out of bed." Aidan informed him.
"Do you really think that will make my life easier?" Kevin asked.
"Yes, you need to release a little control onto others. Trying to run every detail of every aspect of your life will just drive you insane. We're going to work on you releasing some control issues, living life a little freer. How does that sound?" Aidan asked.
"Tough, but I'm willing to do anything so I don't feel so helpless anymore." Kevin admitted.
"It doesn't seem to make sense, but relinquishing control, will allow you to gain it back." Aidan explained. "You just have to trust me."
"I do." Kevin said softly.
"Good." Aidan said just as softly looking down at his hands.
"Aidan?" Kevin asked.
"Yeah Kev?" Aidan replied.
"I don't want to fight anymore. Can we try and be friends?" Kevin said in a halting whisper.
"Sure Kevin, if you want to." Aidan answered, feeling a small lump in his throat.
"Good, you've done a lot for me. Instead of saying thank you I've been giving you a hard time. I'm sorry for that." Kevin said, sounding a little choked.
"I haven't been a perfect gentleman to you the whole time, it isn't all your fault." Aidan said, feeling like he was going to cry. "I'm sorry too."
The two men looked at each other.
"You know you are allowed to let them fall." They both said at the same time.
They laughed together. But it only lasted a second.
"I can't." Kevin answered solemnly.
"I don't." Aidan answered lightly.
They looked at each other again.
"I better get going. Do you need anything else?" Aidan said getting up quickly.
"No, not at all. Thanks for staying with me while I ate." Kevin said as he handed the dishes to Aidan.
"No problem, just give a holler if you want or need anything." Aidan said as he was leaving the room.
"Okay thanks." Kevin said as the door shut.
Two days after that Kevin was feeling much better. Aidan decided it was time to start with the exercises and everything.
The boys went through a week of trust falls(which if you aren't aware of what one is, it's when one person relies on others to catch you when you free fall.) and leading each other around Aidan's property blind folded. At first they thought it was silly and spent a lot of time telling Aidan that it was all stupid. After a while they began to realize they were putting their lives in the hands of each other. By the second week they were beginning to trust each other to the fullest again. The bickering that had come on without warning had stopped and they were beginning to treat each other like brothers and best friends again.
Brian and AJ were in heaven. Their relationship was blooming under the safe environment. They went for long walks together, just holding hands and strolling around the woods. Nights were spent cuddling in bed talking about their future and making plans. The two lovers even had the chance to do things like go to a movie together and out to eat, without having to worry to much about who saw them. They were completely in love and showed each other such in everything they did.
Nick was having the time of his life going to the mall, playing video games, watching movies, and hanging out by the lake with Becca and Ashley. The three of them had bonded very quickly and were becoming the best of friends. They had the care free adolescence down pat and weren't wasting a second doing anything that wasn't fun. Nick was getting the chance to be a kid again and it was doing wonders for him.
Howie still hadn't told the guys. But now that he knew what was going on, he was able to begin to evaluate the situation and adapt to what was going on. Howie found a lot of comfort in talking to Aidan about his feelings about it all and was on the road to recovery. All he had left to do was admit it all to the guys. He kept saying he wanted to wait for the right time, but it just hadn't come up yet. Aidan saw how happy he was at the moment and knew he'd make the right decision.
Kevin was getting the most out of the trust exercises. He had never known what it was like to put his life into the hands of the guys. The four of them had been doing it to him for years, trusting everything Kevin told them. But Kevin had never had this experience. He had the hardest time with it in the beginning. But after a few days, he was really starting to relax and relinquish control to the guys. By the middle of the second week he stopped getting the shakes and was having a better time controlling his urge to drink. Nick even stopped having to share a bed with Kevin in order for him to sleep. He was making leaps and bounds in the progress department and AJ was right, a healthy Kevin was definitely someone Aidan wanted to be friends with. When Kevin was easier going and relaxed he was a lot of fun and had a great sense of humor. Aidan and Kevin started to spend a little more private time together, mostly helping Kevin work on his problems. But a few times it was for leisure activities. They had the same taste in movies and books, so they spent a lot of time chatting about that.
Things were looking a lot better. No tragedies, no problems. Just a house full of young people enjoying a little rest and relaxation. Aidan was beginning to think he wouldn't have to work with the guys for much longer. It was all going so well. Until...
*The end of chapter 8. Things are looking up. Are the BSB cured? Stay tuned to find out! Thanks! Just a reminder, only 4 chapters to go!
QUICK THANK YOU - Thank you to everyone who keeps sending me email for the story, you all don't know how much it helps. I never expected to get so many, you guys give me a reason to keep writing (you gals too).
QUICK HI - Want to send a shot out to Fred and Scott, you guys are the best. Any one who can keep me up to 4 in the morning discussing writing and boybands are alright in my book. You my boys, catch ya later.
QUICK BIT OF INFO - Anyone ever feel the urge to talk to me? No? Yes? Maybe? Well... I am always on IM. Feel free to IM me at anytime. I have three names, Kb79, JediWriter07, and FxngTBSB. Use them! I like to chat!!!*