DISCLAIMER: The following story is a work of fiction. The characters are completely fictional. This is not saying anything about the sexual orientation of the Backstreet Boys.
WARNING: This story deals with homosexual themes. The sex will be light, but it will be present. If this offends you, don't read. If you are under 18 years of age, don't read. If reading this story causes you to break any laws, don't read.
FEEDBACK: This is my first story. So if I'm doing a horrible job, or if you love it, or if you just wanna say hi, email me at Kb79@aol.com and we can chat. Thanks a bunch.
QUICK REMINDER: This is the end, my beautiful friend. This is the end. My only friend. The end.
FIXING THE BACKSTREET BOYS CHAPTER 12
There had been two sessions since that last session. They both went well, short, despite the fact everyone was trying to ignore the whole thing between Kevin and Aidan. But they knew that if anyone could work something out, it was Aidan and Kevin.
The last session was today and if all went well they would be going home tomorrow.
Aidan walked into the living to see everyone sitting together on couches.
As usual, AJ and Brian were right next to each other. They were engaged in some conversation and had their eyes locked. AJ's hand was in Brian's and it was obvious how much love they had for each other. These past weeks had so wonderful for their relationship. It was so strong now, they'd be able to face anything that came their way.
Nick and Howie had begun spending a lot of time together again, that song they had been working on so long ago, still needed to be finished. Nick and Howie were both doing great. They both worked through all the "baggage" they had brought with them on this trip. They were both back to their normal selves and ready to get back to the daily grind.
Kevin was sitting back on the couch, relaxing, with a smile on his face. He was proud of himself and his friends. Kevin could confidently say he hadn't wanted, needed, a drink in quite a few days now. He was enjoying the peace and quiet, spending time with his brothers and Aidan.
They all looked rested. Aidan could at least say that much. Healthy? Physically, yes, of course. Mentally? Well they were now as adjusted as much as 5 men who have been through all these five have been through can be.
Aidan had to smile as he entered the room. He walked over to his usual seat and sat down.
"So you love each other or what?" Aidan laughed as he settled himself.
The guys looked up at him and broke into smiles.
"Who us? Nah..." Nick joked.
"Yeah, these guys mean nothing to me." AJ said, trying to keep a straight face.
"Once we leave here I am going far away from all of them." Brian added.
"Oh yeah, if I never see them again, it will be too soon." Howie threw in.
They all cracked up. Kevin looked at them as if they were nuts.
"I don't know what they are talking about, I think they are all just great!" Kevin said in his best queen voice.
"Just the answers I wanted! I think I need to keep you here for another 2 months!" Aidan said, barely keeping the smile off his lips.
"AHHH!!! Joking!!! I love them, really I do!!!" Nick screamed.
They all laughed together again.
"On a serious note guys, I want to talk about your future plans. First off AJ and Brian, what do you two plan once you leave here?" Aidan asked.
"Well, we are going home to tell our families." Brian answered.
"Yeah, hopefully that will go well, and if it does, we are going to try and find a place together." AJ added.
"And on tours and stuff we'll be together of course. We just have gotten very comfortable being together, we don't want to lose that." Brian said.
"Do you plan on letting the public know?" Aidan asked.
"No, and not because we are ashamed or anything, it's just it's our private business. Not the worlds." AJ said.
"Understandable." Aidan gave them a smile. "It sounds like you two are doing great, I wish you the best, and if you ever need anything, help breaking it to the parents or anything, you know who to call."
Aidan looked to see who would be next.
"Howie? So what are your plans?" Aidan asked.
"Well, I'm going home too. I need to have a long talk with my family as well. I need them to know, that way I'll have their support as well. I don't plan on coming out to the public either, they don't need to know our whole lives. I'm just gonna relax, maybe look for a boyfriend. That and keep working on the song with Nicky." Howie said.
"Great, good luck with all of that. When you find the perfect guy, you better bring him here for a visit!" Aidan smiled.
"Of course." Howie smiled back.
"And Nick? How about you?" Aidan asked, turning to Nick.
"Going to go hang out with my brother and sisters for the rest of the break. A few more days of being a kid! And as Howie said, doing a little musical work. That's about it." Nick answered.
"Good, remember to have a good time sometimes okay? And keep the video games to a minimum, you'll go blind!" Aidan joked with him. "Really though, anytime you want a place to hang, Becca and Ashley will love seeing you again."
"Thanks Aidan." Nick said.
"Well, Kev, how about you?" Aidan said not really wanting to ask.
"Definitely no more drinking, at least not like I had been, possibly an occasional social drink. I'm going to chill at home for a while, see how Kristin is, stuff like that, unless something else comes up." Kevin looked straight at Aidan when he said that.
"Sounds good. I am very proud of all of you. You have gone so far in such a short time. I hope you have all you need to make sure all of your relationships stand stable from now on. I must say this has been an amazing case and I will miss all of you." Aidan stood up and swept his arms in a grand gesture. "I pronounce all of you cured. You will go home tomorrow!"
Everyone cheered and hugged each other. They were all going off to pack, and Aidan was going to go make some lunch. Kevin stopped him though.
"I guess it is time to decide what is going to happen between the two of us, huh?" Aidan said to him.
"Yeah, I guess we do." Kevin agreed.
"You don't think this would really work do you?" Aidan said.
"Yeah! I think it would!" Kevin looked very concerned all of the sudden.
I mean, you are great Kevin, I really like you, but there is so much to consider." Aidan explained.
"I love you Aidan, what is there to consider?" Kevin questioned.
"It can't possibly be love yet! And a dozen things, you said one yourself just a few minutes ago, what about Kristin?" Aidan continued.
"I'll break it off with Kristin, she'll understand! It is love, I don't feel for her like a feel for you!" Kevin was all of the sudden terrified. He felt the tears swell.
"Kevin, this was amazing, I have never experienced anything like you in my life! But when it all comes down to it, you were my patient! I can't date you, especially since you are so high profile." Aidan stated.
"Then why the hell did you lead me to believe there was a chance?" Kevin said softly.
"I don't know, maybe, if you weren't who you were..." Aidan struggled.
"If all that is keeping you from being with me is your job, quit, come with me, work for the Backstreet Boys, that way I can have you with me always." Kevin had a renewed sense of hope.
"I can't do that, this is my career, I have worked to hard, for to long to get were I am, I'm not going to throw that all away." Aidan wasn't going to lie to him. "Why don't you quit, you have enough money, stay here with me."
"As if! I'm a fucking Backstreet Boy! I'm not going to quit to shack up with some guy!" Kevin was appalled at the idea.
"But that's exactly what you just suggested I do!" Aidan could not believe the double standard.
"With me you wouldn't be shacking up! We'd find a job for you on tour or something." Kevin shot back.
"Like what? Bringing you lunch? Or better yet, could I be the guy in charge of holding your head as you puke once you fall off the wagon?" Aidan wasn't holding anything back.
"You fucking prick! One minute you are supportive and caring, and the next you are a raving asshole! Fuck Dr. Connor, I think you must be Dr. Jekyll!" Kevin was giving as good as he was taking.
"I can't believe I almost considered a relationship with someone as selfish and over bearing as you!" Aidan was glaring at Kevin as he said that.
Kevin got right in Aidan's face. "Well don't worry too much. I wasn't even considering, you were fun to play with though."
"You're lying." Aidan paled.
"I guess you'll never know." Kevin's tone dropped and his face softened.
"I guess not." Aidan whispered.
Kevin gave Aidan one last look. It was a look of pain, of anger, and of goodbye. He left the room and went upstairs to pack.
Aidan sat down on the couch.
"Fucking shit, fucking shit, fucking shit, fucking shit." Aidan mumbled to himself. "Why did I do that?"
"Aidan?" Ashley appeared at his side.
"What sweetie?" Aidan asked weakly.
"You okay?" Ashley asked carefully, sitting next to him and throwing her arm around his shoulder.
"No Ashley, I'm not. But it's my own fault and I have to face the consequences." Aidan said flatly.
"Are you sure about that? There is nothing you can do?" Ashley asked, fear in her voice.
"No Ashley, obviously you heard us. I'm his doctor, the ethics of the situation would be horrible. I took an oath when I took this job, and I'm not going to break it." Aidan explained.
"Not even for the man who could be your soul mate?" Becca joined the two on the couch.
"I have no idea if he is even the man who could be my friend. We have not known each other long enough. And I may be inexperienced, but I for sure know you do not end up with your first love." Aidan answered.
"Yeah, you don't end up with your first love if it's the person you date in 6th grade. We are talking something different here." Ashley said.
"I know." Aidan replied.
"Then why don't you do something about it? Work this out! Don't let him leave believing you don't love him!" Becca instructed.
"Wait, who said I love him?" Aidan stuttered.
"You did Aidan." Ashley answered.
"I never said that!" Aidan insisted.
"Yes you did." Becca said calmly. "With every look you gave him, every touch you shared, and every word you spoke. We have known for a while how you felt about him."
Aidan sank back into the couch. Why were they always right? He couldn't take it anymore. He buried his head in his hands and began to cry.
Ashley wrapped her arms tightly around her brother and Becca embraced them both.
Upstairs all of the boys were watching Kevin pack. Kevin was trying his best to do the work despite the eight eyes following his every move. There was tears threatening to fall and he didn't want AJ, Howie, and Brian to see him break down.
"Kev... come on man talk to us." Brian said softly.
"What about? You probably heard all of it." Kevin said, pausing in his motions.
"Yes, but that was fighting, we want to know what's really going on, how you are feeling." AJ said.
"Come on Kev, you couldn't have meant those things you were saying to Aidan." Howie said.
"It's us Kevin, your brothers, we know how you really feel for him." Nick added.
Kevin sat down on the bed. "I don't feel anything for him."
"Bullshit." AJ stated simply.
Kevin collapsed on to the bed and began to sob into the comforter.
Immediately the other four rushed over to him. Nick scooped Kevin up in his arms and held him close. Brian went to Kevin's other side and wrapped his arms around both of them. AJ kneeled in front of Kevin with a box of tissues and placed his hand softly on Kev's knee. Howie sat behind all of them and lightly rubbed Kevin's back. It was a natural reaction, they'd been through this all before, just never with Kevin as the center of attention.
They stayed like that for awhile, until Kevin's sobs had calmed down a little.
"I've never seen you like this Kev." Howie said softly.
"Yeah, can you really say Aidan means nothing to you when he causes such a reaction from you?" AJ asked carefully.
"He means so much to me, but the situation is so messed up." Kevin whimpered.
"You have to fix it then, look at this Kevin, we are all here for you, we're back to ourselves, friends, brothers, a group. Nothing stops us when we are like this, so something has to be done." Brian said, keeping his hold on his cousin close.
"I know, but what can I do? You heard us, it won't work." Kevin barely had the strength to say the words.
"Don't come up with a plan, just let him know how you feel. Don't leave letting him believe that you don't love him. You don't need to think it all up yourself, all you have to do is let him know where you stand." Nick said to the man he held in his arms like a child.
"When we talk, we fight. How am I supposed to get anything across when all we do is argue?" Kevin lifted his head to ask the group.
"Write him a letter?" Howie suggested.
"Tell him how important it is that he listens." Nick offered.
"Sing to him." Brian said, a smile coming to his face. "I know how cheesy that sounds, but it does work."
A smile came to AJ's face also. "Yeah Kev, it does."
"By myself?" Kevin looked a little apprehensive.
"Yes by yourself, we ain't all courting him." Howie laughed.
Kevin offered a small smile. "Okay, what song then?"
"Do we need to do everything for you?" Nick joked, running his fingers through Kevin's dark hair.
"How about Stabbing Westward's Shame? You know, 'I stare into this mirror so tired of this life. If only you would speak to me or care if I'm alive. Once I swore I would die for you but I never meant like this. I never meant like this, no I never meant like this. I don't know if I agree without you. What is left of me without you? I don't know what's real without you. How can I exist without you?' How does that sound?" AJ sang a few bars of the song.
"A little dark, don't ya think angel?" Brian asked.
"I like dark." AJ laid a kiss on Brian's nose. "But I guess you are right."
"How about 'I Drive Myself Crazy'? Psychology theme and everything." Howie offered.
He was answered by pillows hitting him everywhere.
"Okay, so *Nsync is out." Howie said, recovering from the blows.
"Seriously now guys, what would work?" Brian asked.
"Hold Me?" Nick suggested.
"What?" Brian said, surprised. "Why?"
"No!, not hold me, Hold Me. The Savage Garden song." Nick explained. "Don't you guys know it?"
"Refresh our memories Nicky." AJ said.
"Okay, I might need you to hold me tonight, I might need you to say it's alright, I might need you to make the first stand. Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man." Nick sang the chorus quickly.
"Oh! That would be perfect!" Brian exclaimed.
"What do ya think Kevy?" Nick asked him. "Can you sing that?"
"Yeah, I know that song, I could pull it off. Do you think it would work?" Kevin asked them.
"Well, it definitely fits the situation." AJ answered.
"When should I do it?" Kevin asked again.
"Do it right before we all go to bed, that way you can talk to him afterward." Nick instructed.
"You guys really think it will work?" Kevin pleaded.
"YES!" Was the unanimous answer.
The house sat through the most silent dinner it had experienced since the boys had arrived.
Packing and such still needed to be done, so there were no walks or movies after dinner. Everyone retired to their rooms until every thing was set for the boys to leave in the morning.
Kevin heard Aidan turn off the TV that was in Becca's room and then get into bed. As nervous as Kevin was, it was now or never.
Kevin walked slowly out of his room. He sat down at the door of the room Aidan was in. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the door. Kevin took a deep breath and allowed his deep voice to take the song in a new direction.
"Hey If we can't find a way out of these problems Then maybe we don't need this Standing face to face Enemies at war we build defenses And secret hiding places
I might need you to hold me tonight I might need you to say it's alright I might need you to make the first stand Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man
Hey More than angry words I hate this silence It's getting so loud Well I want to scream But bitterness has silenced these emotions It's getting hard to breathe So tell me isn't happiness Worth more than a gold diamond ring? I'm willing to do anything To calm the storm in my heart I've never been the praying kind But lately I've been down upon my knees Not looking for a miracle Just a reason to believe
I might need you to hold me tonight I might need you to say it's alright I might need you to make the first stand Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man
Do you remember not long ago? When we used to live for the nighttime Cherish each moment Now we don't live we exist We just run through our lives So alone That's why you've got to hold me
Hey If we can't find a way out of these problems Then maybe we don't need this Standing face to face Enemies at war we build defenses And secret hiding places
I might need you to hold me tonight I might need you to say it's alright I might need you to make the first stand Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man"
Kevin finished and expected to hear Aidan say something.
There was no sound.
Kevin sat there for at least 10 minutes, hoping that Aidan would say anything at all.
Not a sound came from the room.
Kevin felt the tears rise to his eyes once again. He stood up quickly and ran for his room. He threw himself on the bed and let loose once again.
In the room next door, Aidan had just turned off his headphones, he had been listening to Meatloaf, trying to figure out a way to approach Kevin before he left. Aidan could have sworn he just heard something at his door. He opened it, but no one was there. He chalked it up to hearing things and got back into bed. He put the headphones back on and drifted off to sleep.
The rest of the house had been listening to see what would happen. The minute they heard Kevin run back to his room and throw himself on the bed, they knew it hadn't gone well.
Nick and Howie sneaked out of their room and entered Kevin's.
"I'm so sorry Kev." Was all Nick whispered.
Kevin turned to them, with the tears flowing freely.
Nick climbed into bed with Kevin and grabbed onto him tightly. Howie got on the other side of Kevin and the two younger men held Kevin as he cried himself to sleep.
Morning came quickly.
Kevin woke up before the whole house and went down stairs to prepare a pot of coffee. He knew the van from the airport would be very early. He went upstairs after the coffee had begun and started to wake the guys up.
Kevin went to AJ and Brian's room first. He found the two of them wrapped around each other. They looked so sweet, so cute, but Kevin felt a small pang of jealousy.
"Wake up guys, we need to get everything out." Kevin said, and then seeing them stir, shut the door and went to the next room.
Kevin heard Becca and Ashley moving around in their room so he didn't bother to knock on their door.
He went back into the room he had been sleeping in the whole time and woke up Howie and Nick. He got them moving and told them to go back to their room.
"Thanks guys." Kevin said as they were walking out.
"Anytime, you know that." The two answered as they went to gather their bags.
Kevin went to Aidan's door. He could hear him snoring lightly inside.
Kevin decided to just open the door and get a look at Aidan. When he opened the door, he saw the young man asleep.
Asleep, with large headphones still on his ears.
Kevin tiptoed over to the CD player. Aidan had the thing on repeat and it still was playing.
Kevin quickly left the room. 'That's why he didn't answer me! He didn't hear me!' Kevin thought to himself quite excitedly.
That mood dropped quickly though. There was no time now. Kevin decided that all he could do now was go home to Kristin and try to forget he ever met Aidan Connor.
An hour later the van from the Airport was at the house. Everyone had eaten, showered, and moved all their bags into the van. It was only a matter of minutes before the Backstreet Boys left the Connor residence.
For a few seconds all they did was stand there and look at each other. The Brian stepped forward.
"What can we say? You saved us. The band, our friendship, everything. AJ and I wouldn't even be together without you." Brian said as he walked over to Aidan to give him a hug.
Aidan returned the hug. "It's been my pleasure guys. I don't think I have ever met a nicer bunch of guys. I wish you all the luck in everything in life. That includes being in the band, and your relationships."
"Thanks Aidan." AJ was the next in line for a hug.
"Bye Aidan, thanks for everything." Howie gave Aidan a tight hug and held on for a second. "Don't know what I woulda done without you."
"Yeah man, you have been a life savor, cherry!" Nick joked, as he gave Aidan his own hug.
Aidan ruffled Nick's hair and then gave him a light push, jokingly.
All five of the guys took turns giving Becca and Ashley hugs and kisses. Becca pretended to swoon, and Ashley pretended to gag. Nick hung back for a second, getting a little misty eyed, not wanting to leave his new friends. Becca gave him another big hug and then whispered something in his ear. Whatever it was caused a huge smile and Nick happily skipped over to the van.
The boys began to file into the van. Ashley and Becca stood on the porch holding hands.
Aidan was standing a few feet from the van, watching the guys get in. The door was in the middle of closing, when Kevin jumped out and ran over to him.
Kevin grabbed the surprised Aidan in his arms and hugged him tightly. They stayed there for a long time, not saying anything, not even crying, just holding onto each other.
Finally the van driver honked the horn. The boys really had to get going or they would miss the plane.
Kevin and Aidan let go of each other, stared in each other's eyes for a moment, and then Kevin ran to get in the van.
Aidan went to go stand on the porch with the girls. They watched the van drive down the path, they waved to the boys until they couldn't even see the van anymore. As it faded into nothing, they stood on the porch for a little while longer.
Aidan threw an arm over each of the girls and led them inside the house.
It was finally over.
The End.........
*I can't believe it is over. Six months of my life, this is what it looks like, to me it's beautiful. I have never enjoyed doing something so much in my life. This is my baby, no matter how many others I write, here is my roots. I know some of you may not like the ending, but I had to be a little realistic right? Plus this way Aidan can go work for the *Nsync boys. HaHa, just kidding, trust me!
I have a long line of thank you's
To everyone who reads, you didn't have to, but you did!
To everyone who sends emails, you were my constant encouragement!
To everyone in the chatroom, you all were a blast to talk to, either
bumping up my ego or shooting it down!
To all my fellow writers, all of you do an amazing job and I enjoy reading
your stories as much as I enjoy writing mine!
Fred, for being a great brother and even a better friend!
Scott, for never failing to make me smile at 3:00 in the morning!
Lucas, for talking writing and other things!
TheLadyNsp, for an amazing picture design!
Lisa, for getting me even more involved in the Nick/Kev fantasy.
Irda69, for being my favorite person out of the US!
Edna-Mae, for never failing to send a great email!
Samantha, for always wanting to know when the hell the next chapter would
be out!
Becca, for being a new friend, and for having a great name!
And everyone else I have ever talked too, I've never regretted one early
morning if it meant I was talking to one of you! THANK YOU ALL!!!
From June 27th until August 23rd I will be at summer camp being a counselor. Which means for 8 weeks no Internet, except for rare occasions. I am going to miss getting to talk to all of you a lot, so please, send me email! I can check it every few days, I will write to all of you also! Just give a quick hi, or an update on what's going on in our little community. Thanks guys! You are all awesome! And I love ya all!
Hasta la ByeByeBye, KB!*