Hey guys sorry for the wait. Been busy with work and college. Hope you guys like this. I hate to say this, but this story is close to its end. Hope you guys really enjoy this for the time it has left. For this chapter, it will be in Lucas' p.o.v (point of view). Email me back pronto with your comments please!
Chapter Eight: Fear(s)
"Mom! I'm home," I said.
I waited for a while but she didn't answer. I guess she wasn't home. I looked over my shoulder and it seemed that she was nervous.
"So you ready for this?" I asked her.
"Uh yea, let's do it," she muttered.
We sat down on my couch and we just sat there. It was awkward. We sat there, I was playing with my finger and she was playing with her hair.
"I can't do it," she whispered.
"Neither can I. It wouldn't be right."
"Yeah. Wait, what do you mean it wouldn't be right?"
"Um well I didn't mean it like that. I-I--"
"Is it because you're in love with someone else?"
"You can say that," I whispered.
"Who is it? Is it one of the other girls at school?"
"No, I'm not interested in any of them."
"Not interested? Wait. You like Justin, don't you?"
Crap. Did I just lose my cover?
"I-I--"
"It's okay, Lucas. I approve of homosexuality."
"That's surprising since you hang out with Brett all the time."
"So do you. But I bet you were only friends with him so he wouldn't suspect anything, right?"
"Well I was friends him before Justin came along. I didn't know about my own sexuality till he arrived. I always thought I was straight."
"I always knew you different. You weren't like the other boys at school."
"Is that a good thing?"
"Yes, it is. Because I'm in love with the biggest jerk in town and we'll never be together again."
"Again? Are you talking about Brett? I always wanted to know what happened between you two?"
"He cheated on me with another girl from school. I broke up with him because of that. But I still have feelings for him. I know I shouldn't but there's something about him that I can't get over."
"Daphne. There are better guys out there for you. If you are as good as a person as you portray yourself to be when you're around me, the guy for you will find you. Just don't be the selfish girl you are whenever your with Brett."
"It's harder than you say. It's hard to get over someone you love."
"I know how you feel. I've tried to get over him, but I can't. I went out with you trying to be straight but it didn't work. I'm sorry."
"It's fine. As long as you know who you are and I helped to do that so I feel kind off happy."
"You sure? I was kinda expecting a little screaming."
"Well I was never really into you so I'm not mad."
"Ouch."
"Shut up!" she laughed. "So what are you waiting for?"
"I thought you said you're not into me?"
"I'm not. Go get Justin!"
"He's not into me."
"Wow you don't like women and yet the one guy you like doesn't want you. That's surprising. You sure he don't like you?'
"I'm sure. We kissed and everything went down the drain after that."
"Maybe you just need to be a little more persistent."
"I have."
"When's the last time you saw him?"
"The same time you saw him. Last month."
"Dang. It's been that long? I guess he really doesn't like going to school."
"What do you mean? He loves school."
"Well he hasn't been in school since we saw him leaving town."
"Leaving town? He wasn't leaving town. He just likes to go on walks."
"Well he hasn't been to school and he likes it. Doesn't that sound a bit suspicious?"
"Fine. Let's go check out his place. I'm sure he's just relaxing there, skipping school."
We got out of the house and walked to Justin's house. I opened the door expecting to see the love of my life sitting on the couch but the house was pitch black. Daphne flipped on the lights and I suddenly felt this strange feeling.
"You sure he lives here?" Daphne asked. "This place looks trashed."
"He's probably in his room sleeping," I said.
So we walked to his room and opened the door. Same as the house, pitch black. This time I flipped the switch. Strange, his room trashed also.
"Okay someone was defiantly looking for him before us," Daphne shivered.
"How can you tell?"
"Well I know boys can be messy but this is beyond messy. The bed sheets are torn, the carpet has been pulled apart, all the drawers are open, and above all the window's open."
"You're very analytical."
"Yeah I get that from my mom."
"So what else can you tell from the room?"
"Wow you really appreciate my talents?"
"Now's not exactly the best time for that don't you think?"
"Yeah sorry. Um well whoever was here was obviously looking for something or someone. All I can say is that they were defiantly looking for Justin. Seems like you're not the only one looking for him," she stated. "Wait there's a note here."
Daphne went to go pick up the note but right when she was going to pick it up the window shut.
"Holy shit! That scared me."
"That's not the only thing you should be scared of," Daphne said as she opened up the note.
"What do you mean?"
She handed me the note. There wasn't anything written on it except that there was a picture pasted onto the sheet. It was a picture of Justin. He looked different. His hair was chopped off. He had heavy bags under his eyes and it looked like he hadn't eaten in years. It was the scariest picture I had ever seen.
"Who would do that to a person?"
"The people out to kill us."
"Kill you? Who would want to kill you?"
"I can't explain it. But all I know is that they're here to kill us for what happened in the past."
"Is there any way we can stop them before they kill Justin completely?"
"I don't know."
"Don't give up, Lucas. You have to find him."
"Where am I supposed to look? I don't even know where he is. All I can do is wait till they find me."
"By that time, he may already be dead."
"He may be already dead!" I cried.
"Do you really believe that? Justin is one of the only guys I know that can stand up against Brett. Don't give up so easily on him."
"Fine. Then where do I start?"
"I don't know."
"You gave me this whole speech on not giving up and you can't even provide me with an answer?"
"Maybe we should reveal this to the feds."
"The feds are the ones who brought him here but I don't think they care enough to bring him back. To them, if we're both dead then it'll be all over."
"You know that not to be true. Once they're through with you two they'll go hunt for other people. The way I see it, if they're hell bent on killing you two, they won't be satisfied once they're through with you guys. You have to end this now or they will never stop."
"But how?" I cried. "I'm only one person. I can't go up against a horde of men. They'll eat me alive."
"Seems like my father is up to his dirty work again."
Daphne and I looked at the door and out walked in Mrs. Alice.
"Seems like you need some help."
"Mrs. Alice? What are you doing here?"
"Well I came here looking for Justin. You guys know that he hasn't been in class for about a month. So I came to the source though I only found you two. I hid for a while and well--"
"Mrs. Alice eavesdropped on our conversation? This is unreal," Daphne giggled.
"Daphne, can I ask you two leave us?"
"Uh yeah sure. Bye Lucas."
Daphne left leaving me and Mrs. Alice to ourselves. I handed Mrs. Alice the picture.
"This is defiantly the work of my father. I knew relocating here was a good idea."
"What? I'm lost."
"I'm sure you are. Good news though, I'll bring back Justin as soon as I can. Just stay here."
"I'm not staying here. I'm going to save him. I have to."
"You're just a boy, you can't do anything."
"I don't care what you say. I love him and I'm the one that's going to bring him back. I don't care what you have to say because I won't hear any of it."
"Fine then. Do you have a car?"
"No--"
"Then you're not coming with."
"NO! I am coming with."
"Unless you can magically spring up a car--"
"Justin has a car. It's my parent's car."
"Claire has a car?"
"No, my biological parents. It's a long story but it's a car. So can I come now?"
"Fine. Pack your bags were going to be gone for a while."
I nodded and ran back to my house to pack my things. I've never been on a rescue mission before so I didn't know what exactly to bring. I knew I needed my essentials: toothbrush and clothes, but I was at a loss for everything else.
"Lucas will you hurry up?!"
"Sorry, I don't know what to bring."
"We're on a timeline, just grab what you can reach."
I followed her orders and grabbed whatever I could grab. Then I grabbed something out of the ordinary. A letter. It was marked for me. How'd a letter get here? I didn't pay much attention to it. I stuffed it into my jeans and grabbed my stuff.
"We're not going on vacation Lucas."
"I didn't know what to get."
"It's fine, just toss it into the trunk," she sighed.
I tossed my stuff into the trunk and got into the passenger side.
"You kids are so dumb for leaving the key in the ignition but I applaud you both--"
I blocked everything else after that. I went back into a flashback. Back to the day we got back from finding my parents.
"Can we just talk about this?" I asked.
"There's nothing to talk about, Lucas."
"Yes there is! We kissed. I want you and you won't man up and realize that you want me too!"
"You're a bunch a bull. Quit lying to yourself. You're not gay, you're straight. Go find some tight pussy to fuck."
"Why are you talking like this? You kissed me first!"
"I was trying to make a point. I didn't expect you to kiss me back!"
"I kissed you back because I'm in love with you. You must've known that by now. Straight guys don't sleep with each other. I wasn't lying to you when I said that I'd be with you if I were gay. I'm gay."
"You're not gay. Quit saying that."
"Why won't you believe me?"
"Because I can't!"
"Can't? Or won't?"
"Go to hell!"
"Fuck you Justin."
"Pass."
"I guess that's what tore us apart," I mumbled.
"What did you say?" Mrs. Alice asked.
"Oh nothing. I was just having flashbacks."
"You know I wouldn't be too much emphasis on the past. It's better to focus on the future. I do."
"Sure."
"Lucas, I want to know something."
"What?"
"You have something in your pocket, can I see it?"
"I what?"
I then remembered the letter that I stuffed into my pocket. I opened up the letter and out came a note.
"So are you going to read it? That's Justin's hand writing."
I stared at the note and began to cry for what this is what it said.
Dear Lucas,
I know things have been rough between us and it's all my fault. I want you to know that I love you. I couldn't say it to your face because I was ashamed of myself. I have this weird thing about me where I push away people that love me because I'm scared of getting myself hurt. When I thought I was saving myself, I noticed that I was only torturing myself. But now when I'm finally ready to be with you, you're already with Daphne. I guess you really were going through a phase.
I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you when you needed me. I'm sorry that I was such an ass. I'm sorry period.
Remember when I said I was happy for you and Daphne? I was lying. I wish it was us together, not the way things are now.
I've decided to leave. I'm going to go look for those people that are trying to kill us. Big risk, I know. But in order for there to be peace, I have to end this. If not me, then it will go on and on without end. I doubt that even if we both die that they'll end. They will not stop till someone stops them.
The government seems to not want to get involved because if they did they would do more than just relocation. This is most likely the last time you'll hear from me. Goodbye Lucas. Love, Justin
"So Justin seems to have a bit more guts than expected. Or maybe stupid is more the word to describe him," said Alice.
"He's not stupid. He's just trying to fight for what he thinks is right," I argued.
"Seems like you really do love him. When we see him, I will tell that I approve."
"When? So you're confident that we'll find him?"
"I'm sure of it. I don't work for the CIA for nothing," she reassured me.
"You work for the CIA? So you're not a teacher?"
"Me, a teacher? No way. And when I see that Justin, I will assure him that I am not a tranny."
"Yeah I know. Wait what?!"
"Oh nothing, I said nothing."
"Okay. Mrs. Alice you're weird outside of school."
"I'm not your teacher. Just call me Alice."
"Um okay, Alice," I said feeling really uncomfortable. "So do you know where you're going?"
"Of course I do. If I were you, I'd go to sleep. It's going to be a long car ride."
"How long? I want to see him now."
"When you wake up you'll see him. I promise."
I trusted her word and dozed off to sleep. When I woke, it was considerably dark. There weren't any lights outside nor were any of the lights in the car on. I turned over realizing that Alice was not with me. Did she just leave me in the car or did something happen to her? I didn't feel safe all alone in the car so I took a step out and right when I stepped out, someone pulled me aside covering my mouth so I wasn't able to scream. Something was in the person's hand because I was fighting for my life but slowly began to grow weak. I then passed out.
When I awoke once again, I was in this dark, cold room. It felt like I was being held captive in the Renaissance or around that same time period. I noticed someone else was in the room with me. He didn't move very much, he didn't even look like he was breathing. Could I be in some sick penitentiary? Where's Alice?
"Lu..." came the voice of the man in front of me.
"Hey! Are you alive? Hey!" I yelled at him.
"...cas. Lucas. Why...here?" he mumbled.
"Lucas. That's my name. How do you know my name?"
"I-I. Lucas."
"Yes, I know. My name is Lucas but what's your's?"
"You play...piano."
"H-How'd you know that? Only two people know that I play the piano. My mom and--Justin?"
The man nodded his head when I said Justin. Could this skeleton be Justin? No. It can't be. He looks dead. Worse than he did in the picture of him.
"Justin? Justin!" I yelled.
I ran towards him but I suddenly noticed that the closer I got him, the chain around his neck pulled him towards the brick wall. It seems like the chain around my ankle was the same chain that was around his neck. Crap. How the hell am I going to get to him without killing him? I went back to my spot and began to ponder on how I was going to save the both of us. It seemed like time went on forever and it did, it wasn't my imagination. While I sat there thinking on a way to get out with the both of us still ticking, Justin just stood there with an expressionless face. It depressing. All I wanted to do was sit there with him, comfort him, but I couldn't. The fucking chain shattered all hope of us being together.
The silence as well was killing me. Justin looked like a damn skeleton. Was I going to turn like him? Am I going to die? No I can't think that way. I have to stay positive. If I don't then I'm giving up on Justin and there's no way in hell that I would ever give him up.
And where is Alice? She promised me that I was going to see Justin again, but is this what she meant? Was this the only way I was going to see him by staying with him in these conditions? Maybe putting too much focus on Justin made me overlook that I hardly know Alice. She works for the government. Plus Justin noted in the letter that the government wasn't going to save us. Fuck. I can't believe I let myself fall into this hole.
"Lucas, what are you thinking about?" Justin asked.
"Nothing, I was just trying to think of a way for us to get of here," I partly lied.
"Tell me the truth Lucas. I know you came here to save me, but I think you just lost focus on the big picture."
"And what's that? Throwing your life away?"
"I wasn't throwing it away. I was just trying to--to save you."
"If you just told me, I could have helped you."
"I didn't think you would care. You're with your old crew and you have Daphne. So I'm kinda lost."
"Me and Daphne were never together. We were just amusing everyone around us. Daphne loves Brett. I love you. I thought you knew that."
"So it wasn't a phase. Great, I'm the worst gay guy ever."
"No you're not, you're the best."
"Shut up, Lucas. You're just saying that to keep me happy."
"Is it working?"
"Yeah," he laughed.
"You're laughing. I never thought I would hear that again."
"Nor did I think that I would see you again, yet here you are. A slave to him. Why would you go through all of this?"
"A slave? What do you mean?"
"The big boss. He's a pimp, I guess you can call him that. But unlike some, we don't live well. As you can tell from me. I will only be fed if that's what the client wants. If the client wants me to be a certain way, I will be that way. I don't have a choice. I am whore, a slut."
"What? He's doing all of this to you?"
"No, he's not making me. He gives me a choices: follow him or stay with the client."
"And you chose to follow him? But why? You can get out of here if you--"
"I can't. The clients that I have to sleep with are psychopaths. They kill people like me for a living."
"If they kill people like you then how are you still here."
"The clients also have to follow the Boss's rules. If they don't they will be turned in. They don't want that so they have to follow the rules but only if I follow them as well. If I don't follow them, they can do as they please."
"I'm sorry."
"Why are you sorry? It's my fault for thinking that I could do anything to stop this."
"But if only I stayed by your side at all times, you wouldn't be thinking that way."
"Quit blaming yourself. It was my decision alone. You were not an influence."
"Fuck you. Quit bull shitting me. You put in the letter that you were leaving because I was with Daphne. Why can you only act like you can love me when were not face to face?"
"So you finally have balls to speak above me? Or is it just that you're being idiotic?"
"Justin, quit being such an ass? I came here to be with you and you're just shooting me down."
"If you can't handle my personality then I suggest you find some other guy to fall in love with."
"Why are you being this way all of a sudden?"
"I'm emotionally unstable. When I don't handle my emotions, I turn into this bitch you see before you. I've been holding all my emotions within me ever since I left. I can't control it. It's like a disease."
"You're more like a disease."
"What?"
"You're persistent and you can't leave me alone. You're in my mind day in and day out. I-I don't know what to think about you. But I know I can't be without you. I would rather die than--"
"Don't say that," he cried. "Don't say that you would rather die. It's too unbearable to even think that."
"Then let me in."
"I can't, you hurt me."
"How?" I asked.
"You know I never really feared death. I knew that with me being the way I am that I would die young. So I never feared death. But when I met you, I felt something inside of me. I've met a lot of men in my life and no one like you has ever knocked me off balance. Then we got close and I thought that I was living a fantasy, that I really had died and I was just a part of an act. Everything was so surreal. We got even closer and I knew that I wasn't dead that I was actually alive and then I felt the pain. The pain you afflicted on me. When you told me that you were gay and you wanted me, that you actually liked me I didn't know how to handle it, I still don't. I want to be normal and for us to be together but every time you look at me I just start feeling the pain," he explained in detail.
"The pain? What pain?"
"The pain is my fear. My fear that I will lose you, that I will lose everything dear to me. When I'm with you I fear everything."
"I would never le--"
"You did though. You left me. Then you came back when I was assaulted and raped. Then you left again. I can't handle that. I really can't."
"I'm sorry. I guess I didn't think. But I'm here now. I can't lose you, I won't!" I cried. "Without you, I'm all alone. You're the only one that understands who I am and when I'm with you I fear nothing. I know that now."
Justin closed his eyes and smiled. He was so cute. Then I realized something strange. He just kept smiling, he was motionless.
"Justin?"
No answer.
"Justin? Justin! Answer me!"
I kept a constant stare at him, I didn't even blink. My chain pulled me back a few feet and I thought he moved but he just slumped to the ground like a doll.
"No! Justin, wake up! Please! You can't die!" I yelled bawling my eyes.
I focused on Justin, I wanted to get close to him but I couldn't. I knew that if I moved closer to him that I would hang his body. I didn't want to take any chances, he could still be alive. While I had all my concentration on him praying that everything would be okay, I think I heard some noises in the distance but I didn't bother to look it was already too dark to see anything. I put my hands to my ears and began yelling. I don't know how long I was yelling but my throat had become intensely coarse. Even though it hurt like no other, I couldn't stop. I had just lost the one person that I loved and I couldn't even be with him. I felt the room shake but I still didn't give a damn, nothing in the world could bring back my happiness.
"Lucas? Lucas look at me."
I opened my eyes and there was Alice. She looked as normal as ever. She had a few cuts and bruises on her face but she looked the same.
"You fucking bitch! Where did you go? You killed Justin. Leave me alone!"
"Lucas, Justin will be fine. I already have a medic tending to him, but I have to put you to sleep," she said as she pulled out a syringe filled with a black liquid.
"What is that?"
"Lucas, you need to be put to rest."
"No! You can't kill me! If Justin is okay, then I deserve to live. I deserve it dammit!"
"Quit being difficult and sit still," she said coldly.
"Fuck you!"
She sighed and pulled out a handgun from her waist and pointed it straight to me.
"I hoped it didn't have to come to this."
"N-No please, Alice please don't do this, I--"
BANG