Chapter Seven: It Hurts Too Much
It's been weeks since the last me and Lucas have made contact with each other. Sure we see each other during class but that's mainly it. I think after the fifth or sixth attempt Lucas finally gave up on me. I actually heard that he got a girl and of course it's from his former or well now again his posse. Daphne.
Whenever I hear that name, I always think of Daphne from Scooby-Doo. The redhead with that is a complete waste of time and doesn't even help in the group. She's just there. Quite honestly, she is exactly the same way as her cartoon counterpart. Except she has long black hair and always put in a pony tail which in my opinion does not suite her very well. Maybe if she got her hair colored a different color it would make her look less of a ghost.
Well anyways from what I hear from the class is that they're the happiest couple ever to step foot in Bridgewater. So I guess Lucas really did go though a phase and I was the stepping stone. I'm kinda kicking myself right now because since he did go through a phase then being with him wouldn't even matter. Maybe I'm just bi-polar with this whole thing. I wanted a relationship to form, then I didn't want it, now I want it? So maybe I can never be happy and all I want to do is hurt myself or maybe it's just the fact that I don't respect myself as a person and I just seduce people without noticing it.
Well anyway, besides the point that I'm lost for words for myself. I've decided I need to do something with what I have left in my life. So in this random thought, I have decided to get a job. I am now a store clerk/cahier at the local market. I'm supposed to be cleaning but they took pity on me since I'm the guest to the whole city. It's weird but I guess I'm treated well. The people are great too. Well one person in particular. His name is Payton. He's the core of the market, without him there would be no market plus all the women in town shop there because of his catching looks. He's actually quite handsome and he's rugged and muscular. He's pretty much perfect for women plus he's older like in his twenties or thirties (I love older men well only if they're attractive).
"Justin, please come to aisle seven," Payton said over the intercom.
I got done with my final customer of the night. I walked over to the entrance and locked it. I heard some static over the intercom, it's usually the sign that Payton needs an associate pronto. Power walking towards aisle seven, I noticed Payton carrying some boxes. They were all labeled with a big red stamp of `fragile'.
"It seems like it's only you and I that's left here," said Payton.
"I guess so. So what exactly do you want me to do?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?" I asked him.
"Yes, nothing. Is that a problem?"
"No, but usually if someone is called over the intercom it usually means they need to help or do something."
"Okay. Well you can just wait here and relax while I put the contents in this box away."
He did just that. I sat on the floor as I watched him put away the contents. I offered to help but he refused that I do any stock work whatsoever. I don't know why but he wouldn't let me. He finally finished in about half an hour and he sat closely to me.
"So Justin, tell me about yourself," he plainly asked.
"About myself?"
"Yeah like what are you interest, hobbies, that sort of thing."
"Um well I like to hip hop dance and do photography. You?"
"Well I like sex."
"Oh um that's great I guess since you have women lined up for you and all."
"Well I don't really fancy the women," he said as he slyly grazed his hand over mine.
I quickly scooted down the aisle and crossed my arms. Smooth Justin. Real smooth.
"Don't fret. I don't bite. I know how you look at me. I've notice you starring at me a lot. You're cute. So I was wondering if we could--"
"Sorry I'm not ready for a relationship right now."
"Oh I'm not looking for a relationship. I just want to fuck you."
"Sorry, I'm not a slut. I don't put out easily like a lot of the girls here," I stated disappointed.
I walked towards the exit and Payton popped right in front of me.
"That wasn't a request," Payton said as he clenched my arm tightly.
"Payton let me go! That hurts."
"Aw poor Justin. I don't care what hurts you all I care is that I get to have some re--"
"Fuck off!" I yelled as I kicked him in the crotch.
Like any moment, crashed down to the ground and held his area. Taking this moment as a time of escape and went for the entrance only to get the fact that the door was locked. At that moment, I panicked. I kept banging on the glass hoping someone hear me. But to my careless attempts to escape, Payton comes up to me and puts me in a sleeper hold.
"You got some guts, boy. But I will have ass. And you will be my bitch."
He lifted me higher into the air, my feet frantically kicking the air. Then I realized I can turn this around. I kicked the entrance handlebar and flipped over him. I then forcibly pushed him into the entrance, his thick skull breaking through the glass.
"What the hell? Where's the alarm?" I said aloud.
Fuck, I remembered that Payton said that he wasn't going to turn on the alarm since it was only going to be us two tonight. He fucking set me up. I turned around only to get dragged back to the entrance. God this guy won't give up will he?
"Fucking cunt, you will pay for that," he spat.
He sat on top of me. His weight and also gravity on me made me feel helpless. I couldn't move and I was out of breath. He held my arms in one of his hands. He quickly unbuttoned his pants and his ten inch monster popped out slapping his white shirt. I felt so helpless. Was this really happening to me? I guess karma is getting payback on me for treating Lucas in such a bad way.
"You ready, you slut?!" Lucas said.
"Fuck off!"
With that, he forcibly shoved it in my mouth. I tried to bite but I was so tired and I was choking and gagging. Tears were flowing down my face. I could feel the blood rushing up my face turning my face from slightly tan to light red, almost like a sunburn. I thought it was the end of me, my last breath. But then he finally let up and pulled out.
"I fu...ing hate you. I w-will g...my pay b-back," I said.
"When I'm done with you, you won't be able to speak nor will you be breathing."
Payton flipped me over and ripped my pants to shreds. He kept slapping my ass with his dick. My body involuntarily twitch. Wrong move from my body. He took grasp of my head and slammed it against the linoleum floor. Agony pierced my skull and I blacked out.
"Justin! Justin, wake up!"
I head someone's voice. Don't know exactly who but it was familiar. Yes, I know such a corny outcome. But that's what I heard. I opened my eyes and saw Lucas with bawling his eyes out.
"...cas."
"Justin? I'm so glad you're alive," Lucas gasped as he gave me a hug.
"Lucas, I have...many things to--"
"Save it Justin. You can tell me later. Save your energy."
"No, Lucas I have to tell you. I--"
I blanked out without getting to tell Lucas a thing. I later woke up in a hospital room. Expecting my room to be filled with an assortment of get well presents or at least a bouquet of wilted roses, I woke up to nothing just a sterile, blank room. Not a single get well card was present nor was Lucas anywhere. Not a trace.
"Were you expecting something spectacular?" came a voice
"Who's there?" I asked.
Out of the blue came this person that looked exactly like me but with heavy mascara and eyeliner. His nails were painted black, bottom lip was pierced on the left side, his eyes were white and spliced, he had long, black side fringe that reached his chin and a braided that laid upon his shoulder. He wore a black gown and his skin was exceptionally pale.
"Who are you?" I asked. "You just like--"
"You? Because I am you. I'm your persona. Your other half."
"My other side looks like death?"
"That's how you perceive me to be."
"Wait. If I'm seeing you, then that means I'm crazy, mentally ill."
"If that's what you want to go with."
"Fuck my life. So why are you here?"
"Because I feel that you've been making all the wrong decisions in life. Especially your love life."
"Our love life is just fine," I mumbled.
"Really. If so then why'd you get raped?"
"I WAS THE VICTIM!" I yelled at myself.
"Justin, who are you talking to?" Lucas asked.
I looked ahead and saw that Lucas just came inside the room.
"I was just talking to myself," I said calmly.
"Yourself? Are you okay?"
Fuck. I just remembered that talking to oneself is often frowned upon.
"I'm fine."
"You sure?"
"Yeah. Lucas I'm happy that you came to visit me I--"
"Actually I came here cause my mom couldn't make it. I just brought you some--"
"Cornbread?" I frowned.
"Yeah. It's her signature dish."
"Just set it on the table, I'll eat it later," I lied.
"So you're finally awake."
"What do you mean? And I thought there's no hospital in Bridgewater?"
"There isn't. You're in a governmental hospital miles away from there. And you've been out for five months."
"I've been in a coma ever since I got--"
"Yeah. I'm sorry."
"No, its fine. You came and rescued me."
"I was there by chance. I just got over with my date with Daphne and I was walking home."
"Oh."
"Well I'm going to go. Me and Daphne have date tonight and we just might--"
"I don't need to know, but thanks for the info.," I lied.
"You're just going to let him go?"
"What else am I supposed to do? He's with someone, you should know that we don't like to break relationships."
"He's not even happy. If you even paid attention, you'd notice that he still likes you."
"Justin, are you talking to yourself again?"
"Look, do us both a favor and tell him. Confess to him."
"I can't!"
"Do you need me to call a doctor, Justin? I can call a doctor."
"NO! I mean no. I just have something to tell you."
"Okay well you didn't need to talk to yourself to make me pay attention."
"I-I Just wanted to tell you that I-I--"
"You what?"
"Come on, quit being such a wimp and just say it!"
"I-I."
Suddenly, the door flew open and Daphne walked in.
"Babe, what's taking you so long? We've got a reservation at that place, remember?" she whined.
"I'll be out in a minute, Justin has something to tell me."
"Actually um I would just like to congratulate you guys on a long relationship."
"Really, Justin? You're going to wimp out? You're a such a disappointment."
"Well bye," Lucas mumbled.
"I love you," I whispered.
"Well congrats. You've completely made yourself look amazing."
"You didn't help. I can't confess my feelings to him if you're breathing down my neck."
"I don't breathe."
"I don't care. I'm sick and tired of boys anyways. I like men."
"Really? Like Payton?"
"Shut up."
"He's a man, isn't he? But wait you couldn't sleep with him willingly because you're not into a relationship right now. But you want to be with Lucas so--"
"I said SHUT UP! I-I love him. I love Lucas. I--"
"I get it. You messed up. We both did."
He disappeared and continued to wallow in grief. Days passed and the doctors finally gave me the green light. I arrived back in Bridgewater and noticed things were the same except for I don't have a job Payton and I got fired from that place. Payton is nowhere to be found and so I can't send him to prison. I sat down on my couch and stared at the wall. My backpack was sitting next to me. So I opened it and decided to get out my notebook and began writing a letter.
When I was done, I walked to Lucas' house but he wasn't there only Claire.
"How are you?"
"I'm fine. Can you give this to Lucas?" I asked as I handed her my letter.
"Sure. I see you have a bag with you. Where are you going?"
"No where, I just like to carry my things with me. Ever since that night, I don't feel safe by myself anymore so I bring stuff with me to defend myself."
"Oh I'm so sorry, I couldn't come visit you. I was so busy. I was out of town when I heard of it."
"It's fine. Well I'm going to go now. Bye."
"Bye."
I left and walked in the direction leaving town. As I was walking, I noticed Lucas and his posse hanging out in the field. Seems like they were chatting up a storm. Then it hit me, he looked right up at me. He was still talking to everyone but he just starred at me. I stopped and I waved to him my goodbyes. He waved back but then his whole posse stopped talking and glared at me. With that I just kept on walking and I never looked back because I'm sure all of them were starring at me.