First Born

By Justin Luong

Published on Sep 8, 2009

Gay

Chapter Five: Lucas' Past

Waking up that morning, I found myself closer to Lucas then we were the night before. My face was right in front of his face. He was so handsome. He had perfect skin. No blemish nor scar present and it was smooth to the touch. I knew that physical contact was risky but I couldn't resist, I was craving and my craving was for men. And when I thought I was all clear, something unusual happened. A smile spread across his face showing his pearly whites. It was beautiful. He was like the male Aphrodite.

"Don't leave me," Lucas whispered.

"Lucas? You're awake?" I asked puzzled.

"Mom. Dad. Please don't leave me."

What is he talking about? What's going on?

"I promise I'll be good. Please don't leave," Lucas cried.

"Lucas? Lucas wake up," I said shaking Lucas.

"Please. Don't leave me."

"Lucas!"

"MOM!" Lucas gasped finally waking up.

"Lucas are you okay?"

"It happened again. I-I'm reliving the past."

"The past? What do you mean?"

"It's nothing."

"Lucas, you're scaring me."

"Don't worry about it," Lucas said getting off the hammock.

"Lucas wait!" I yelled walking towards him.

"Justin, just shut up!"

I stood there frozen. I don't know why but I couldn't breathe. I've never witnessed this side of him before. Lucas kept his distance and stood there with his finger pointed at me.

"I'm sorry. It's just--I just need time to sort things out okay. I'll see you later."

"Lucas, I'm sorry," I said looking down at the grassy greens.

"It's not your fault. I just need to t--"

"If you need to talk, I can--"

"No! I mean, don't worry about me. I'll be fine."

That's all he said. He left with me just starring at the ground. I was really bummed out. What was going on? I know our friendship wasn't on the line but something was defiantly up with Lucas and I had to find out what it was. But who to talk to? His mom of course.

Before going to his house, I did the morning ritual: shower, teeth brushing, and new clothes. I walked to his house and Ms. Claire let me in.

"So what brings you here? Lucas isn't here. He said he was going for a walk."

"I know. I actually wanted to talk to you about Lucas."

"Oh this sounds fun. Sit," She said offering a seat.

"Thank you."

"So what is it that you wanted to talk about now? Lucas?"

"Yes, well this morning Lucas was talking in his sleep and--"

"Oh dear. It's happening again."

"Happening? What's happening again?"

"What did he actually say in his dream?"

"Well he was constantly yelling `Mom. Dad. Don't leave me.' What exactly does that mean? You're his mother. You didn't leave him. That doesn't make sense."

"Well you see, I'm not his biological mother."

"Whoa. Are you serious?"

"Yes. His mother and father left him when he was still young. I'm amazed that he still remembers all of that. It's been so long."

"But you said again. So he's had these dreams before?"

"Yes. Not too long ago, I'd say about four years ago, he started having the dream that you just told me. I took him to a psychiatrist and he made him suppress those dreams. Now they're back. He can't function with those dreams. They're killing him. Before I took him to the psychiatrist, he was completely different then he is now."

"How was he like?"

"He would lock himself in his room and not come out. I and all the townspeople tried to help him but he refused to accept any of there help."

"Well if you all couldn't help him, how could the psychiatrist be any different?"

"He gave him something to work on."

"The piano?"

"How did you know?"

"I've never heard anyone play so beautifully on a piano and no one in this town has a piano."

"Well you're right. He suggested that we give him a difficult task to work on. He gave him that piano as a gift."

"And it worked."

"Yes."

"So if he just plays the piano the dreams will go away again."

"No, it won't."

"Why not? It worked before, it can work again."

"It worked that time because it was difficult. He's a pianist now so it's not difficult again. I fear that if he can't completely get over the fact that his parents left him then he may die."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry Justin. I've tried all in my power to get him well but if it's back there's nothing else I can do. I've lost all hope."

"Well I'm not going to give up. He's--he's everything to me."

"I hope you accomplish your task and I mean that with all my heart. I love that boy like he was my own son. Now I have some errands to run so I have to ask you to leave."

Leaving her place, I went for a walk towards my thinking place. The cliff. When I got there, I saw someone sitting at the edge. It was Lucas. I walked towards the edge and he turned around and looked at me.

"How'd you find me? This place is a secret."

I sat down next to Lucas and just starred out the distance.

"This was the place I came to when I first got here. It's the only place I can just forget everything. I guess it works the same for you too."

"Yeah it is. Justin, I want to apologize for this morning."

"You already did and it's fine."

"I have to tell you something and you won't like it."

"I'm sure that whatever you're going to tell me it's not going to phase me."

"I'm leaving."

"When?"

"Tonight."

"Why?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"This is about your parents, isn't it?"

"How'd you know?"

"Claire told me. I was concerned about you."

"Well then you understand that I have to leave. I'll just be a burden to everyone here again."

"You'd never be a burden to me."

"That's not enough."

Ouch.

"I didn't mean it like that."

"Lucas, I care about you a lot. I don't want you to leave."

"My dreams are back. I have to or I'll become a hermit."

"At least you'll be a cute hermit."

"Do you really think it's a good time to be flirting with me?"

"No, but you're smiling."

And he was. He was smiling but you could still see that he was crying inside.

"Justin, I'm happy that you're here with me," he said holding my hand.

"Lucas, I think you're right. You should leave."

"What?"

"I'll come with you."

"You would leave with me."

"Yes, because wherever you go I go."

"Thank you," Lucas cried tightening his grip on my hand.

It hurt the way he was tightening his grip but I needed to be there for him. I had to be strong. Though I'm sure I was crying by that point well the ugly cry.

Next: Chapter 6


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