Finish Something

Finish Something 3

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Tim and I waited in the cafe for James to show up. We had a slow morning and lay in bed talking. It was comfortable and I felt strangely calm, despite all the sex we had the night before. I realized Tim looked nervous sitting there with his coffee and his unshaven face. And it felt calm because...well...some of the sting of what happened all those years ago had faded away. I could taste him in my mouth still.

James came in full of apologies and smiles. He shook Tim's hand casually, but I could tell he was appraising him. I felt suddenly warm, that James was being protective, which I wouldn't have expected from him. James sat down and ordered a coffee, then he looked at both of us almost expectantly.

"So...what have you two kids been up to, as if I have to ask."

I laughed and kicked James under the table. "Is it that obvious?"

"Well, kind of. Both unshaven, both looking a little flushed. It's pretty obvious."

"I guess."

Tim chuckled. "You don't hold back, do you?"

"Not usually. It's all that legal aggression I suppose. It doesn't pay to hold back in court, after all."

"I guess you're right." I could tell that Tim was a little uncomfortable which I realized gave me a little thrill of pleasure.

"James does mostly real estate law, but I guess a lawyer is a lawyer."

"Yeah, we're all the same." James kicked me under the table.

Tim looked at both of us for a moment. "How do you two know each other?"

I looked at James. "What's the right answer?"

James smiled at Tim, then said, "I was a friend of Sean's ex but over the years, we became better friends than I ever was with...what's his name."

"He's not your friend any more, I take it."

"Not. He was an asshole to Sean. I couldn't forgive him."

I had never heard this before and I stared at James in amazement. I knew he was pissed at Matthew for how he treated me, but I had no idea how pissed. We had never talked about it, so I assumed that he and Matthew had a relationship that I did not know about. But apparently not. Again, I felt oddly pleased.

Tim smiled at me. "So now you two are friends."

I looked at James. "We are." James smiled at me a little devilishly.

"Yeah, we are."

Tim looked again at us both. "And...sometimes a little more?"

James looked very pleased with himself. "When the mood strikes us. Mostly we just hang out and come here. But you know..."

Tim laughed. He looked very happy for some reason. "It sounds like a nice arrangement. I hope I didn't intrude on any plans."

I suddenly felt awkward, but I wasn't sure why. "No...no plans."

"It's all good." James put his hand on Tim's shoulder. "It's very sweet that you two have reconnected after all these years."

"Yeah, it really is." Tim looked at me, his face quite serious. I still felt uncomfortable. Turning to our waiter who had just come by, I flirted with him for a moment, as I always do and he always seems to enjoy, and then we ordered brunch.

The food arrived and we soon began to talk more easily and about less intense topics. I was always struck by James' social ease and he kept the conversation going for a while. I watched the two of them talk. They seemed well matched, able to spar intellectually on a range of topics. It was fun to watch them. I could tell that James liked Tim and I even had the sense that he was flirting a little in very subtle ways. A hand on his arm, a coy smile.

When the bill came, James asked, "What are you two up to this afternoon?"

I looked at Tim. "What are we up to this afternoon?"

Tim laughed. "Whatever you want."

James cut in, "What if you two come over to my place for some tea?"

I almost fell over I was so surprised. What was he doing? I couldn't think of a way of asking him what the fuck he had in mind without sounding weird. Tim beat me to it.

"For tea...um. Where do you live?"

"Oh, downtown. Near the lake. I've got a great view of the city."

"Yeah, it's a nice place." In that moment, I decided to let this happen. I'm not sure why, but James seemed to know what he was doing. At least I hoped he did.

We piled into a cab. I wondered what Tim was thinking. He would have no idea of James euphemisms, so I imagine he was puzzled by this invitation. And James certainly knew that I knew what the hell he meant, so what was that all about?

The day had turned bright again and when we got up to James' penthouse, the sun was streaming in his windows. The place looked amazing, as always. I had always meant to ask him what he paid for it, but something always stopped me. I guess the answer might depress me. James made a heck of a lot more money than I did.

"This is a wonderful place, James. You're very lucky. Montreal, for some reason, doesn't have places like this."

"It's great, right? I love it. Who wants tea...or beer?"

Tim was staring out the window and he turned to James. "I'll take a beer, actually."

I nodded to James. "Me too."

He came back with beer and sat beside me on the sofa. Tim was sitting opposite us on one of James very modern leather chairs that probably cost as much as my house. James took a sip of his beer, then looked at both of us, a half smile on his face. I knew something was coming.

"So...which one of you likes to fuck the other?"

I thought Tim was going to choke on his beer. He put it down on the glass table in front of him. "Excuse me?"

"Oh, come on." James got up from the sofa and went over to Tim. He stood in front of him for a moment, then leaned down and grabbed his head, pulling it toward his and kissed him, and not all that gently. Tim looked stunned for a moment when James leaned back, watching his face. Then he pulled James back to him and they kissed for a while. I realized I was getting really into watching them. They both seemed so...determined.

I undid my belt and slid my pants down and tucked my underwear under my balls. I started stroking my dick as I watched them kiss. James pulled Tim so they were standing. His arm went behind Tim and he slid his hand in his pants. I could tell he was massaging Tim's ass while they kissed. Tim was busy with James's pants, and then he slid them down with his underwear. I watched as James' familiar cock rubbed against Tim and they ground together.

I decided to join the fun, so I went over to them and dropped to my knees. I undid Tim's pants and slid them down, then his underwear. I could tell James was watching me and I looked at him. He was smiling down at me as he slid his cock into my mouth. But I also felt Tim's cock pushing at the side of my mouth, so I pulled the heads of both cocks in as best I could. I could hear the two of them kissing above me, all spitty and intense. I began to alternate sucking them, and jacking the other. As someone who likes sucking, I was in heaven.

But James had other plans. He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me up, pulling my head in for a kiss. His tongue was all over the place and I liked the power and hunger of his mouth. It felt like he was saying something, but I wasn't yet sure what it was.

He leaned back and said, "Let's go to the bedroom."

He turned and walked out of the room. Tim and I, smiling at each other, followed him. I admired James' ass as he walked. James stepped out of his pants and threw his shirt across the room, then leaned himself against the headboard, stroking his cock. "Why don't you two suck me?"

I didn't need another invitation to return to his cock and Tim joined me. We licked the head of his dick, sharing the taste on our tongues, kissing each other then returning to licking. I began sucking the head and Tim moved down to James' balls, almost swallowing each one. James had a hand on each of our heads, grabbing handfuls of hair in his fists.

Tim came off his balls and looked at me for a moment, swallowing James' cock, then he pulled my mouth off and kissed me a bit wildly, our lips mashing together, the taste of James between us, whose voice I heard above us. "I want to fuck Tim."

I think Tim was surprised at being the bottom again. He almost looked like he might protest, but James picked him up by the shoulders and tossed him on his back. He had obviously found his lube while we were working on his cock, so he was already dribbling some on his hand and began to slide it around Tim's ass, jamming    a few fingers in while Tim moaned. His nascent protest was obviously not that strong, since he was clearly enjoying James' hand as it massaging from the inside.

I was fascinated by James concentration and watched him as his moved forward and slid himself into Tim who shut his eyes and wrapped his arms around James. There was something so elemental about watching James begin to fuck Tim, like this was part of a ritual. As if to confirm the thought, James turned to me and smiled. He pulled my face close to his and we kissed. I leaned back and looked into his eyes as if for the first time. He looked calm and sure of himself but also a bit vulnerable. It wasn't a look that I was used to seeing.

I could feel something in my belly. It was a little flutter of an idea that had not occurred to me before, but it had no words yet. I moved away and looked down at Tim, who had been watching us. As if in answer I brought my cock to his mouth. I gripped it so that a big drop of clear fluid came out of the head and into Tim's mouth which was then followed by my cock which I pushed as far as he would take it.

Tim was now taking both of us, and the idea that sat in my stomach began to take shape. I watched James hips as he fucked so strongly into Tim that the bed began to make a rhythmic thud against the wall. I leaned in again and kissed James who had trouble meeting my mouth he was working so hard. My own cock was sliding in and out of Tim's mouth. I had not had sex with two people many times so this was intense and I closed my eyes and took in the feelings.

But even with my eyes closed, I could tell that James' flight was coming in for a landing because his breathing was getting ragged and when I opened my eyes, his face was scrunched up as usual, working out that problem that never seemed to find a solution. James looked down at Tim and said, "I'm going to fill you up. You ready?"

I smiled at James tough talk, but I liked it. Tim couldn't say anything because James had leant down and was devouring his mouth around my cock, his hips smashing into Tim, over and over, faster and faster. I started jerking my cock which was now rigid with a coming explosion. The two were still kissing as my orgasm took over and spurts of cum splashed on their lips and dribbled down their faces. James leaned back and I could tell he was there because he opened his mouth and froze for a second, then drove his hips forward with a few massive thrusts. Tim seemed overwhelmed and as James pulled himself away, I leaned down and took his cock in just as he burst. I felt his cum hitting the roof of my mouth and draining into my throat. I moaned into his cock and felt his hands in my hair.

I sat up and James was watching me, smiling. He grabbed my head in his hands and he kissed me. I spat Tim's cum into his mouth as our tongues had a conversation. I could hear Tim's breathing below us. I looked down at him and brushed his hair back, feeling his sweat.

I heard James' voice. "Who wants cake?"

Tim burst our laughing. "Cake?! After all that you want cake?"

"Well, do you want it or not?"

"But I thought we were getting tea?"

I saw James' face get that wicked look. "That was tea, dear. Now we get cake."

He jumped off the bed and left the room. I lay down next to Tim and found his hand with mine. "That was fun."

He turned to me. "Yeah, it was..."

I could hear something in his voice. "What?"

"You two are so..I don't know what the word is. Something. You two are something."

"Huh. I'm not sure what that means." I could hear James in the kitchen getting plates. "We're good friends," I said finally.

"Yeah. Something like that." Tim sat up and propped some pillows behind him. James came back with three plates carried waiter style. He handed the cake to each of us. "It's Black Forest Cake. Yum!"

James was being especially adolescent and I wasn't sure why. We did just have a lot of fun, but there was something else. The cake was good and we devoured it quickly. James sat, cross-legged as usual, 

and Tim and I leaned against the end of the bed. James cock was just visible and it seemed so vulnerable and sweet. I looked over at Tim who was lean and taut, his chest shaven. I hadn't even noticed before. I admired both of their bodies and realized I was enjoying the differences. I put my plate on the side table and lay down, my head against Tim's shoulder.

James put his plate aside and squeezed in between us so that he had both or our heads on his shoulders. I kissed his neck and fell into a doze.

When I woke up, it was getting dark. The room was silent and no one was in bed but me. I lay for a while, remembering how the three of us were together. It had been exciting and I was still marvelling at James who seemed so insistent or something. I called out,

"Is anyone home?"

"Just me. I had some work to do."

I got out of bed and went into the main room. I could see the lights of the city as they began to respond to the coming night. "I slept for a while."

James looked up from the sofa where he was bent over his laptop. "You had a workout, I guess."

"Where's Tim?"

"He had to go. His flight is first thing in the morning and he had to go and do some work."

"I wish he had woken me up."

"He said you looked so peaceful, he didn't want to disturb you."

In that moment, it felt like history repeating. I know the circumstances were completely different, but to leave without saying good-bye felt like he had done it again. Walked away. But I felt at the same time that whatever he did, was about him. Not me. I didn't feel bereft or angry. I felt quite content. That was about me and I could just have that. It was as if I realized that it was Tim, not me, who had the issue. I watched James work.

He looked up at me. "What?"

"I'm just watching you."

He looked at me for a moment, then back to his screen. I stood up and went to the kitchen since I was hungry. I pulled a few things from the fridge, found some garlic, a can of tomatoes. I made pasta sauce. I always found cooking meditative and as I worked, I could tell that I was sorting through some things in my head that as yet had no words, but I knew it was about Tim. And to my amazement, James. I could hear the sound of his keyboard as he worked. It was oddly comforting to be busy with food while he was busy with...whatever lawyers are busy with.

I set the table. I liked that I knew where things were in his kitchen. It was a kind of intimacy that we could both go into each other's houses and know where everything is. I lit some candles and found a bottle of wine. I went to his huge cabinet and found two glasses that probably cost as much as my education and filled them. I called out,

"It's time for dinner."

"That's good because I'm bored and starving."

He came into the dining area and sat down. At that moment, I realized we were still both naked. I laughed. "I hope we don't spill anything hot..."

"Oh that's all right. One of us can lick it off."

I raised my glass to his. "Here's to Sunday afternoons."

James looked at me a moment. He put his glass down in a way that made me put mine down. I could tell he was formulating something. I braced for a legal argument. What came out was not.

"Sean, I...I gotta say something. When you said you were meeting Tim after all these years..." There was a pause. He picked up his glass and took a gulp. "I mean, when I realized you two had...well, hooked up...I was jealous."

"Jealous?"

James looked guilty. His face was pained. "I'm scared. Scared that I'll lose this. You."

The wordless thoughts that had been circling my head finally found some words. I looked into James' eyes for a moment. "Why would you be scared you would lose me?"

"Oh, because you reconnected with an old flame. That you would continue something with him...that I...well, would just be a friend."

"But you are my friend."

"Yeah, I know. But that's not what I'm saying."

"Ok. What are you saying?" But the words were staring to illuminate themselves in my head. I started to get it. James looked uncomfortable. He stood up with his wine glass and went to sit at the sofa. Our food was getting cold, but I could tell this was way more important. I followed him and sat down beside him.

He looked at me again. His eyes were almost wide, as if he was surprised by something. "When you and Matthew broke up I was really pissed with him for how he treated you. Really pissed.

"I'm still grateful for that, James. It really meant a lot."

He smiled. "I'm glad. Well, when you and I started...you know...doing this. Hanging out..." He stopped. "I don't know what I'm having trouble with here."

"Keep going." I felt like the lawyer now, only the one who is being gentle and trying to coax the witness into saying something difficult.

He took a deep breath. "Well, after a while -- I don't know how long -- I really began to depend on us hanging out. It became really important to me..."

"It is to me as well."

He smiled again, but I could tell he wasn't done. "Fuck!" He took another sip of wine. "You know the difficulty I'm having here is not wanting to fuck something up that I don't want to fuck up." He took another sip of wine. "Sean, when I imagined you with Tim it scared me. I kind of panicked. And the panic was news to me. Or at least it made something clear." He stopped again and looked down at his hands.

I could tell that James floundering. I decided to intervene. "James...I think I know what you're having trouble saying." I leaned in and kissed him. "Something that became clear to me earlier today was how important you are to me. Not just a friend who I fuck, but way more than that. I want us to try and see what we can do together. That was a thought that was almost a surprise, however obvious it was when I realized it."

James looked at me, a kind of astonishment on his face. A lawyer looking astonished is something to behold. Then he smiled. He looked relieved. "Yeah. That's what I was trying to say." He pushed me back on the sofa, lying on top of me. I could feel his hardness pushing against my balls. He leaned back a bit and looked at me.

"I want to fuck you."

"That sounds great."

He led me back into the bedroom and onto the mess of sheets. I could smell him and the sex the three of us had had everywhere, which made it all the more intense. I was completely hard by this point, so there was no reason for us to do anything else. He lubed me up in that familiar way, and then himself. He slid into me easily, but slowly. Everything he did was deliberate and even though we had done this dozens of times, it felt different.

He slid himself out, then back in, all the while his eyes never wavered from mine. I wrapped my arms around him, feeling his body move into mine, feeling the familiar weight of him. His skin was damp with a bit of sweat. I pulled him toward me and licked his neck, tasting salt. I nestled my face in his neck and went with the feeling of his thrusts into me. My own cock was rigid and I slid my hand in between us so I could stoke it a few times. I knew I wouldn't last long, so I stopped, just holding my cock as we worked: him driving forward, me pushing back and taking him -- it seemed -- deeper every time.

My hands slid down his back and I took his ass cheeks in my hands and pushed him forward each time he thrust. He was grunting and gasping into my mouth. I could feel sweat dripping off his head onto my face, sweat that tasted familiar. Like the taste of his mouth, the smoothness of his ass. With a few more fast thrusts, he made a sound in the back of his throat and I could tell he was emptying himself into me and his hips slowed down.

My own cock was on fire, and he leaned back as my hand worked on it. He pulled out of me just enough so that he could reach the end of my cock with his mouth just as I began to gush, and he lapped it up as best he could, his tongue working hard. He kept the head of my cock in his mouth, caressing it with his tongue. He finally leaned back and swallowed.

"You taste like...fuck...I don't know. Something good."

I had to laugh. "Like spring? Like a morning after rain?"

"Fuck off. You taste good, okay?" He was smiling at me. He leaned down and kissed me softly. "So are we going to do this?"

"I think so. I want to try, anyway. Let's see what happens." I leaned in and returned his kiss.

He looked at me for a moment. "I'm glad. I think I've wanted this for a while, maybe even since shithead was a shithead to you. You know I don't do relationships, so..."

"I get it. No one is expecting great declarations, right? Just a pact to see what we can do together, and see what happens."

On that evening, it felt so clear to me. It was clear, really. But people have a habit of making things complicated and for reasons that don't quite make sense, especially to them.