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Finding Myself Within Eric, Chapter 15
I didn't sleep most of the night. I just stayed up watching him, just hoping he wouldn't go anywhere. I couldn't understand why he would lie to me. I have just gotten him back and he is lying to me. I did not understand what was so important, or rather who was so important. But I came to the conclusion that maybe some things are worth lying about. Maybe this was his way of protecting me. But from what, I don't know. And I'm not entirely sure I want to find out.
It was early morning when I finally got my eyes closed. The sweet dream I had of us being together last night had turned into a nightmare. I kept hearing whispers I could not understand. Seeing someone watching us make love in the background but I could not recognize the face and Eric was always watching them as well. Like he was waiting for something.
I woke up in a cold sweat, still hearing the voices from the dream in my head. At first I couldn't see, and I wondered if I was still trapped in the dream, but soon Eric face begun to shine in the sunlight. I took a deep breath letting it out slowly and his concerned face became more visible. "Jack, are you okay?"
I nodded my head sitting up in the bed. I felt like crying, shouting even, but I knew it wouldn't do any good. "Jack just tell me what's wrong, you're shaking."
He had picked up his shirt from the floor and was wiping the sweat from my forehead. I took another deep breath, closing my eyes and leaned my head back against the wall. "Don't lie to me Eric."
I waited from him to say something but he didn't say a word at all. This got me even more angry. "Who were you with last night Eric?"
I kept my voice firm. I loved him, and I knew I would still, always would, no matter what he told me. I opened my eyes to look at him. He was sitting at the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. "Victor called me last night. He said he wanted to talk, he sounded really upset. I should have known it was just one of his tricks."
I didn't know what to say, or even how to react. He must have been the figure I seen from the window. "What happened?"
It came out as a whisper. I wasn't even for sure if he heard it or not. If it involved Victor I wasn't sure if I wanted to know what happen. Eric seemed to be in pieces. He wasn't crying but it seemed like he was afraid. "I thought he just wanted to talk. When we were together he would get upset a lot when I didn't do everything he said, and often times he would try to hurt himself if I didn't comply with his wishes. He called me last night he sounded like he was going to hurt himself again. He convinced me to meet him. I didn't want to go off and meet him somewhere, so I told him to come around here and I would listen to what he had to say."
"And then what?"
He laughed an awkward frustrating laugh. This confused me. He sat up coming closer to me, taking my hand within his. "When I came here, I was looking to escape his world. His lies, his cheating, his manipulation. But it is harder to escape then I thought. I knew he wasn't just going to come here and talk, that's not Victor. He plays these head games and-" "What happened Eric?"
He took a deep breath, holding my hands more firmly. "He kissed me. But I didn't kiss him back; instead I fought to push him away. After that he got angry and left and I came here back to you. Please don't be angry. I feel nothing for him, absolutely nothing and I will not be lured again into his manipulation."
I looked in his eyes. I have heard the truth and oddly, I understand. "It's okay. I was just looking for the truth. I woke up and you weren't here, that worried me, so I decided to wait up and I so happen to look out the window. I couldn't tell it was you until you got closer to the house."
He leaned forward kissing me softly. "I love you so much. I promise it won't happen again, no more lying okay."
I nodded and smile, though I knew how hard of a promise that was going to be to keep. I closed my eyes, hoping to go back to sleep but was awoken by him tickling me. "Hey, I didn't sleep much last night."
"But it's almost seven a.m. and we need to get ready for school."
"School?" "Yeah, have you forgotten about school?"
I groaned, closing my eyes back, but this time he yanked my arm pulling me to the floor. "What the fuck?"
"I can get worse if you don't get up and start getting ready for school."
"We have been out of school for months; do you think they are going to let us back?"
"Your dad already handled that. Since I was new, I haven't missed much but you on the other hand are a good student and never caused trouble so they agreed to let us both come back but we have to go through summer school to make up for the months we missed."
I groaned again getting up and throwing a pillow at him before heading out the door to take a shower. I knew that warm water would just make me more tired, so I just turned on the cold water and hopped in. The water hit my skin like knives yet, it was refreshing. I didn't hear the bathroom door open I just felt skin next to me followed by screaming. I turned around looking out the open shower door and there was Eric standing with a towel wrapped about him shivering. I couldn't help but to start laughing. "You think that's so funny. Who in the hell takes cold showers anyways?"
"Those who want to wake up in the morning."
"Ha ha funny."
I reached over and turned the warm to a nice warm temperature and motioned him to come back into the shower. He hesitated at first, sticking only his hand in to test the temperature of the water. Once he knew it was warm he slid in wrapping his arms about me. Smiling I couldn't help but to melt in his arms. Grabbing the soap, I started to lather him up first, gliding the soap over his chest, arms, back and over his private area. He grabbed the soap from me and did the same spending a bit more time on my private areas then I did. We both rinsed off before things went further and grabbed towels heading back to my room. "My clothes are down in the guest room, I'll be right back."
He slide on his old pair of jeans and ran downstairs. The thought of him wearing jeans and no underwear made me get hard. I smiled to myself, walking over to the dresser putting on a pair of boxers and socks before going over to the closet and grabbing a grey t-shirt and a pair of black jeans. I headed back to the bathroom to do my hair and I see Eric walking down the hallway. He has on a hunter green polo shirt and a pair of loose blue jeans. He smiled at me, coming right up to me kissing me deeply. "You are so sexy, you know."
"No where near as sexy as you."
He puts he arms around my waist. "You need to eat more though. I like a little meat on my men."
I looked at him and continued to walk to the bathroom. Him saying that reminded me of the pain I went through for what I done to him. I ran some gel through my hair realizing how much he has grown since the accident. It's almost down to my shoulder. My face was smaller, more sunk in, and my eyes seemed to have darkened. I felt Eric's arms around me, squeezing me tightly. "You're beautiful. Don't worry."
I just smiled weakly. "Are you ready to go?"
"Race you to the car."
The drive to school was virtually silent. The last time I was behind the wheel I almost killed the one I love. I'm surprised my mom left a note saying it was okay to drive her car. But I drove to school cautiously, maybe a bit over cautious. "I'm not afraid of you killing me you know, you can drive a little faster."
That was all I heard the entire time there. I pulled into the parking lot and another revelation hit me. "What's wrong?"
I turned to look at him and he had a general concerned look on his face. I wasn't sure if this was the time and place to talk about this, but I didn't think I had any other choice. "Now that we are in school, what happens to us?"
He didn't seem taken back at all. He just smiled leaning over and kissing me in the car. "Whatever you want is fine with me. I could care less if people know about me, about us. I love you more then people. So whatever you want."
I had to think for a minute. I was hoping that he said he wanted to act like we were friends so I can avoid having to really do any thinking. But now I was faced with a choice. I didn't really have any friends to begin with, I was pretty much invisible to the entire school so I doubt anyone would ever care. But on the other hand there is always that what if. "Let me think, about it for now."
"Okay."
He was still smiling as he open the door and got out the car. I took a deep breath before getting out of the car as well. The moment I turned around towards Eric, I saw Victor walking up beside him. As first, I didn't think it was real, that my mind was playing tricks on me until Victor kissed him.
Author's Notes:
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