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Finding Myself Withing Eric, Chapter 1
It was late Thursday afternoon, in November, the air was still warm and I lay outside watching nature. What else would a 16 year old boy do that has no life, no friends, and really doesn't have the will to have any of those. My name is Jackson Delfontoes. Jack for short please. I'm 5'11, around 140ish, green eyes and dark brown hair I keep in a back shaved bob with the front coming just over my eyes. Nothing special or at least I don't think so. I'm a mixed raced between Caucasian and Mexican which accounts for my olive color skin. Well its more like a like bronze, dark caramel. I don't know. Who cares anyways? I have seen a couple girls take long loving looks at me when I walk down the halls of school, but I'm not interested in that. I could care less about the opposite sex. So that automatically makes you assume that I'm gay right. Well your wrong. I have no clue what I am. It's sometimes like I never went through puberty. Never grew up from that 11 year old boy who thought girls had cooties and boys were just boys.
I go to Fillmore High School. Its just a couple blocks from my house, so I tend to walk everyday, for my much needed exercise. Today perhaps. I didn't have the will to get up and go to school. So I have been laying here in my backyard all day, in a hoodie and jeans. My parents don't really mind. Most of the time they are at work or at some fancy dinner party across town schmoozing with their clients.
They are both lawyers. Own there own law firm and are very successful. My mom Marie is the one I'm close to the most. She at least makes an effort to make sure I'm doing okay, and care enough to make sure I get good grades, isn't doing drugs or any other bad things us teenagers get into. Sometimes she can be very loving and the typical over protective parent, and other there isn't enough time in the day to fit me in. Her parents pushed her so hard when she was a kid and she didn't want to over do it with me. So she has always said, if I ever needed a day off then take it. And today I did.
My father Mike is the typical business man. Never seen in jeans and a t-shirt. Always dress pants, dress shirt, tie and jacket. Even on the weekends, though often he minus the jacket or tie. He not a very liberal guy expect when it comes to my mom. I often wondered why he married her the way he acts towards some people. But I think most of it is show. Like he says he is a republican but votes democrat.
But he has build a successful law firm so I guess he wants to keep it that way. We talk now and then when he is not buried in paperwork. And we have one of those father soon weekends twice a year to catch up. But it often we "run into" a client and it turns into something work ethic. He tends to evolves me when it has something with me learning the business he wants to pass down to me. But honestly. I don't want to be a lawyer. I never gave college much thought. I'm happy with simple things in life.
We live in a decent...well overly decent house. Six bedrooms and 4 baths, huge yard, pool, clubhouse, game room. I often wondered my in the hell do we have 6 bedrooms when there is only three of us! Such a waste of space. Well, I do have an older sister Jessica. She is on her third year at Yale. She tends to visit most holidays with some new overly hot guy on her arms. The last one was Martin, looked like he could have been an underwear model instead of a chemist. It open makes me wonder who is Yale letting in these days. Its a school for smarts and geeks not underwear models.
I woke up Friday morning feeling like I needed another day off. But there was this big project to start of in my advanced English class and I didn't want to have to wait till Monday to get the details of it. I'd finish it over the weekend so I won't have to worry about it. I drugged myself out of bed and down the hall to my bathroom. I knew my parents we gone so I won't have to worry about leaving them hot water to bath with. I turned on the water to as hot as I could stand it, and let the bathroom fill up with steam while I brushed my teeth.
The minute the water touched my skin I felt a bit more alive. Its nothing like a hot steam shower in the morning to make your day a bit more pleasant. As the water down my hair my fingers lingered on my abs, feeling the heat on my skin made my mind wonder to more provocative images. But before my mind went to far, I soaped, rinsed, and turned off the shower. Wrapping the towel around me I looked myself if the mirror. "Maybe I'll but an effort into my appears today." I said to myself. I put some gel in my hair, parted it down the middle and combed it side over. Letting the front have fall over my forehead, each individual hairs. I combed the back straight and flat and walked back down the hall to my room.
Finding something to where to school was the difficult part. My parents buy me so many clothes, I often wonder if I could go a whole year without having to wear something twice. But eventually I picked out a pair of boxers, a stripped dress shirt and a nice pair of dark wash blue jeans. I slipped on my casual black shoes and grabbed my book bag and laptop and headed off to school.
The morning seemed to go by quickly but after a quick lunch outside the afternoon seemed to drag on. So much that I began to rethink my idea of heading out into the world today. English was my last class of the day and I was happy to see it come. Mr. Ya Chi was this old Chinese guy that looked like he was rather more suited for foreign languages. But he kept us entertain with his old Chinese stories and myths. Sometimes he would forget how to even speak English and speak to us in Chinese like we spoke it fluent. There was even one time he wrote all our test in Chinese letters and pretended that it was English. The whole class was a riot but I found it rather funny.
When I enter the classroom he said "Oh, morning Jackie how the baseball coming along." "You and I both no I don't like, watch for play baseball Mr. Ya Chi. Who do you think I am Jackie Robinson." "You look like him don't yea Jackie. Wait let me get my glasses....Nope sorry for the mistaken of identity." I just shocked my head and smile and head back to my seat setting up my laptop. I sat towards the back corner of the class next to the window. It allowed me to think more when he gave us creative writing assignments. The bell ranged and everyone filled in their seats.
"Morning everyone. Happy Friday. Today the day you spend all weekend working on this big project." He waiting while the whole class booed but then quickly quieted down. "I know hate me all you want now-" There was a low knock at the door and Mr. Ya Chi went over to answer it. There was a low brief conversation, before the door fully opened and my heart stopped.
"Well it looks like we have a new student to join our circus." I could hear the girl whispering in front of me "Oh he is cute, he can join my circus anytime." But he wasn't just cute, he was mind blowing. I shook my head in attempt to shake the cob webs out with no avail. "Please tell us a bit about yourself." He didn't look like he was nervous at all.
He just smiled, showing his perfect white teeth and said "Well everyone, my name is Eric Gorean and I just moved here from Arizona. I like sports especially baseball and I also like art and theater. Not really much else to say." He have the most amazing half smile I have ever seem and ran his finger throw his short spiked brown hair.
"Well that's more then I expected you to say. But welcome to the class, you are just in time for the special project I have in store for everyone. Why don't you sit next to Jackie Robinson over there since your a baseball fan, he loves it don't you Jackie." I heard the class laugh, that was the only thing that broke me from my daze. He was coming to sit next to me, and I managed to say "Right I love baseball." The class laughed more knowing I hated baseball or any other sport and Mr. Ya Chi raised and eyebrow and began to pass out papers to everyone.
"This special project is all about finding common ground. You and a partner will find something you have in common and right about its history together. It would be music, make up, baseball even." He said looking over at me. "You will have one week to complete the project, and give a small three minute presentation to the class next Friday." I'll give you the rest of the class to get started on it, and give you time to find a suitable partner.
Everyone became chatty moving with there partners and I just sat silently at my desk listening to everyone around me. I didn't even give my usual protest about partner work cause I like to work alone. I could here the girl in front of me talking to get friend saying "You ask him, no you ask him to be your partner, do you think he will say yes." But before they had the chance I heard someone call my name.
"Jackie, its Jackie right. Hello."
"Oh no sorry, its Jack, and its not Robinson either Delfontoes."
"Oh okay, well Jack you look like a cool guy and these girls," he whispered "look like they are about to hound me, so you want to be partners. If not its cool."
"Noo! Its fine with me."
"Cool. What do you want to do the topic on. I assume you don't really like baseball do you?"
I got a little nervous. I didn't know what was going on with me. It was like my brain had turned me into someone else.
"Actually...I... don't really... know that much about baseball." It was then he looked at me and kinda smiled in his own little way.
"Well that's cool, we don't have to do a topic about baseball. How about music, are you into that?" "I'm sure music might be the easiest."
What was I thinking. I haven't bought a CD in a year, I don't even know who is popular now a days.
"Cool, I pretty much into alternative myself. Korn, NIN, 10 Years, but I also like Trip-Hop, this band called She Wants Revenge is great to just lay and listen to soften your mood."
I felt like I was lost in space. Suffocating with no way to get out. Like the room was spinning, worlds were collapsing. I could not understand what was happening to me.
"Yea, they are awesome."
"Great we can do our report on them then. Wow this was easier then I thought it would be."
The bell ranged. I was never so thankful in my life to hear a bell ring.
"Oh man time flew, let's exchange numbers and I'll give you a ring sometime tonight so we can set up a time to meet up over the weekend."
"Yea sure."
I took the piece of paper and wrote down my number. To be honest, I was so out of it I don't even know if it was the right number. He gave me his and I stuffed it in my pocket and hurried off to my next class. The girls that was sitting in front of me gave me dirty looks as I walked out the door.
The silence of everything seemed to calm my brain. It seem like a shorter walked then usual when I arrived home. Both mom and dad would be home to late, so I slipped into the back yard to lay under my favorite tree. The events of English class kept flooding through my mind. Each moment followed by the feeling I had. I could not understand why I was so strongly attracted. Can I even say that? I never been "attracted" to anything let alone anyone. Could it be possible? No, it can't be. I mean what I'm I getting all worked up about. I mean he dose have an amazing smile, great hair, killer eyes...what wait......what I'm I thinking. I can't think these thoughts.
Later that evening I was sitting at the dinner table with mom. Dad was going to be late and she wanted us least to have a somewhat formal dinner. My head was still lost wrapped around the events of today. It must have really showed when mom asked
"Is everything okay honey?"
She never called me honey before. I looked at her and she had a concerned look on her face.
"You barely touched your food, when we do get together for dinner, you usually eat so fast to get back up to your room. So I know something wrong so spill it. Is it girl problems or something?" Girl problems. I wish it was girl problems. I wish I would have just stayed in bed today.
"Nothing mom I'm just not really hungry."
I was hoping she would just drop it and just let it go like she dose everything else.
"Okay maybe not girl problems, maybe guy problems.? You know whatever it is I won't judge you. Are you friends treating you okay?"
I almost fell over in my chair when I heard her say "Guy problems." How could she know, I don't have guy problems.
"MOM. I'M JUST NOT HUNGRY!"
I kinda snapped out of my control. When she heard me yell I think I shocked her. "I'm sorry mom, I just want to be alone." With that I went upstairs and begun to cry on my bed. Trying to comprehend the possibility that I was gay.