Finding Love After Incredible Loss Chapter 44
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Finding love after incredible loss – Chapter 44
Scott pulled Evelyn aside and asked if she knew before today and she nodded saying that she, JJ and JR found out the night before they flew out to visit you for easter. Scott shook his head and muttered fuck this is going to explode, damnit what is wrong with you people. JR put his hand on his son's shoulder and asked what's going on; Scott pulled his shoulder away from his dad and spun on him pinning him to the wall – you tell me. The five of you all knew Charlene is battling aggressive breast cancer, for the last two months you've known and didn't say anything to us? Have you not learned anything about AJ over the last year and you two for fucks sake have been around him for 22 years, Jesus H Christ? Who else knew and don't lie to me this shit is going to go nuclear when he returns from his walk? Eva and Gina had walked into the room and asked what drama is going on – Scott turned on them with fire and tears in his eyes something they had not seen before. Eva did you know about Charlene, she looked at the floor and Scott growled you of all people.
Gina was confused and said someone better tell me what the hell is going on and where my baby boy is and it had better be NOW! Scott took a deep breath and told Gina that Charlene has been battling aggressive breast cancer since Christmas and did not tell AJ. Eva knew at some point and the three stooges there found out in April before their visit to us and didn't say anything either. Gina asked Scott where AJ was and he said he needed air; she turned on the other's there – Charlene I pray to God that you heal and that the cancer is eradicated. Now mom, dad, JR, Eva, Charlene and Elliott you all are supposed to be the generation before us that should help us make good decisions and keep us from doing stupid stuff. As far as your relationship with AJ moving forward, I cannot even predict how he is going to come down on this one.
Charlene and Elliott, he thinks of you as his mom and dad, after he met Syd, he did everything in his power to make you love him. There is nothing in his life that those two know that you don't. JR the same can be said for you, when he chose your son you and your family were part of the package and you two, I don't know what to say to you – I'm stunned, appalled and downright disappointed, after what happened with Gramps and AJ not finding out until he passed that he was sick we should have all learned from that one.
Is there anyone else in this group of people that knew about Charlene's condition and if we have any chance to fix this you need to be honest – Mat and Gran, I assume Nanny knows because she and Gran are as thick as thieves, but don't know for sure. Gina went and got Gran, Nanny and Mat along with Mo. She asked Mo to watch the boys and the rest of them she ushered back to the office. Gina was livid, looking to each of them and could not speak. Scott looked at those in the office – Is there anyone here who does not know that Charlene is fighting breast cancer? Nanny stood up and took Charlene's hand telling her that she was sorry to hear that and asked a lot of questions – what are the treatment options you are considering, what support are the doctors telling you to prepare in advance and is there anything I can do to help? Scott hugged Nanny and mumbled there is a God after all. Nanny looked around the room at all the long faces and realized AJ was not in the room. Turning to JJ she asked a very pointed question – did you not tell AJ again? JJ stated flatly, it wasn't my news to tell; Nanny bit back – for God's sake son he is your flesh and blood who else should tell him that someone near and dear to his heart, the grandmother of his children is fighting for their life than his own father?
AJ stepped into the office – yes dad I would love to hear the answer to Nanny's question. Nanny pulled AJ into a hug and assured him if she had known, she would have flown out to North Carolina to break the news in person. I saw what losing Evelyn's dad and finding out afterward that he had been sick did to you. He looked at the adults gathered in the room – the only two that have somewhat of a pass are Mat and JR, but the rest of you saw what that did to AJ and Syd. Not having Ed at the wedding and knowing they didn't have a chance to say goodbye, I thought you all would have learned that honesty is the only thing my grandson asks of those in his life and you all lied to him for months. Nanny turned to AJ, kissed his cheek and said my boy I love you with everything I am, please don't let what these morons did change who you are or ruin this night for you and your husband.
Let's go celebrate and leave them to play god with someone else's life. Scott, you coming? She hooked her arms through her boys' and walked out of the office and out to the party. She was in heaven with these two gorgeous hunks on her arm and felt the center of attention right along with them. She prayed to God that she had diffused this situation but the tension in AJ's body was palpable – she was certain the volcano would blow. He had made it clear to the entire family that if anything like the situation with Grandpa Ed happened again, he would be done with the family – that is not how family treats each other. Charlene and Elliott saw it right along with Evelyn and JJ.
Gina looked around the office at those still seated – telling them that she was sure Nanny had saved the party, but this was far from over. You six – gesturing to Eva, Charlene, Elliott, Gran, Evelyn & JJ, if you hope to have anything to do with AJ, Scott, Caleb and Conor in the future you had better figure out how bad you want that and then determine what you are going to do to keep from losing them forever. Mat piped in; don't you think you are being overly dramatic? Gina smiled and asked one of the six central characters if they thought she was being dramatic. Charlene spoke – Mat dear, no if anything Gina is being kind. She continued – each of us in this room has overtly left out the fact that I am battling an aggressive breast cancer when interacting with AJ, whether that was out of fear, respect for me or just not wanting to be the bearer of bad news. At the end of the day we have been lying to AJ since we individually found out about it.
Evelyn continued; my dad Edward, "Pops" to AJ, insisted that none of the grand kids be told he was dying – his wish and our mistake in letting that stand. AJ was so very close to Pops; there are pictures of the two of them from the time AJ could walk with AJ following Pops around – fishing, hunting, mowing the lawn, riding horses, throwing a ball, sitting by Bea, Ed's wife, when she passed. Pops was AJs north star, when something got him down he would find Pops in person or on the phone. At the end of his illness AJ and Syd found out they were pregnant and were planning a very simple, family only wedding – AJ asked Pops to be his best man and he agreed. JJ would marry them and Pops would stand up with him – his two mentors. The weekend before the wedding Pops died. During the service the minister mentioned his battle with brain cancer. The grandkids all reacted badly, but AJ was so close to his Pops that it literally broke his hear to know that no matter how close they were he had not told AJ he was dying and we all saw the fall out.
Elliott picked the story up – AJ held his tongue through the service and the public celebration of life, but when it got down to just family the grandkids started in on their parents – who knew what, when and why the hell had they not been allowed to say goodbye. AJ was the only one that didn't say a word, he just got up took Syd's hand and left. The next day Syd and AJ were married at the courthouse with no one there except a judge and a court clerk who was the witness. They were going to spend time split between Evelyn & JJs and our home over the summer before moving into their house in Pullman. When we were packing up to head home to finalize plans for the wedding that had been pushed out an additional week we found that AJ and Syd had packed up their cars and were heading to Pullman and would not be enjoying the summer with us and that the wedding had been cancelled all together. AJ & Syd had secured a jobs in Pullman and as they said their goodbyes we realized that they were wearing wedding rings. Needless to say we – gesturing to the six of them did not react well; how ungrateful they were, didn't talk with us and showed no respect for their parents. We couldn't have set AJ up better if he had written the words himself.
JJ shaking his head continued – AJ looked at Syd, kissed her and told her he loved her with all his heart and he hoped she would forgive him for what he was about to do; Syd's response was poignant – I chose you over everyone, I will make that decision today, tomorrow and for eternity. She kissed his cheek and said tear them all a new asshole. A small chuckle slipped from the six central characters to this saga. JJ said and he did – he railed at us for 30 minutes, then calmly kissed Syd and they left without a goodbye, hug or any other words. The gist of what AJ conveyed was we were hypocrites. He told us you talked about being grateful, talking about things with our loved ones and showing respect because we didn't talk to you about something that really only impacts us, yet you all held back that one of the most important people in my lives is dying. He said that we were all selfish, self-centered narcissistic assholes and honestly, he was right then and more right now given we went through this before. His bottom line was this – if family can't be there for one another in the bad times why should they share in the good, you chose to keep the bad from me so I chose to not allow you to share in the good. You can't control what life throws at you, you can only control how you react to it and from his and Syd's perspective this was not family behavior and they were going to be doing a lot of thinking on everyone's involvement in the joy of the birth of their baby.
Charlene had tears running down her face reliving that moment – I don't know what I was thinking, but it certainly wasn't about the true meaning of family – those people that you let see you at your best and hope to God are there to help you through you worst. The fact that AJ came around before Syd should have shown all of us that his capacity to love and forgive is what we should all strive to be in our lives, that said I don't know if that light is able to continue to glow for us when we keep shutting off the switch.
Gina wiped a tear from her eye and gave her input – from my perspective this is a shit show of epic proportions and I'm glad I'm not in your shoes but I also don't like seeing my baby boy hurt and to be clear he is hurt more than I think you all comprehend right now. That said I would suggest that y'all pull yourselves together, enjoy the celebration and throughout the nigh each of you find a way to express your regret, your happiness for AJ and Scott and ask that you all sit down at some point in the next week to hash this out and then move on for tonight. Don't engage in trying to fix this here tonight it will end in disaster. They all agreed.
AJ and Scott were dancing with Conor and Caleb doing their best to enjoy their night. Mo, JT, Teddy and Becca all could tell something was up. They were doing their best to let it be until Gina rejoined the party and they deluged her with questions – she just shook her head saying you need to let it lie but just remember what happened with Pops died. No one is dying, but things that AJ should have been told were withheld for `his own good'. Cheryl had joined the conversation – engaging with her siblings; how the hell do we keep making the same damn idiotic mistakes. There was a bit of a commotion at the patio door – Chandler, Jimmy and Tim were rushing to Uncle AJ and Uncle Scott yelling their heads off. Stephanie and Jim were standing just outside the house talking with Evelyn and JJ.
AJ was beaming seeing his niece and nephews – they were embraced in tight hugs; there were tears visible on the teenagers' faces. Amanda ran to her cousin screaming at the top of her lungs as she crashed into her they both went into the pool and could care less. Stephanie had not joined any family get togethers since she had stormed out in December. She had given her kids a few minutes of time with Uncle AJ and it was now time for her to pluck up the courage and deal with her baby brother. She approached AJ and everyone found other places to be, the two of them stepped into the pool house. Stephanie's apology was simple – I'm sorry, my baby brother and I forget you are an adult, dad and husband again. Your words stung in December because you were right and I'm so very sorry. AJ hugged her and said I need to be better and tempering my words – I need to realize that my expectations are high, sometimes to the point where people have no way of meeting them. I'll try harder sis as I want you and your family in our lives. Another hug, this one longer and a few tears fell. Stephanie leaned back and asked so why all the tension in the air?
AJ took a deep breath and said – I was going to leave this alone and talk to all my siblings tomorrow, but watching Gina, Cheryl & JT I'm sure Gina has rallied the troops in my support so the reader's digest version – Charlene has aggressive breast cancer, Mom, Dad, JR, Gran, Eva and Mat all knew and didn't tell me even though they came to NC and actively avoided talking about it. It smacks of... Steph said Pops. AJ nodded. Steph said I know you and I just got back to a good place so take this for the intent and do what you will – we are all human and make mistakes, don't let what others do or don't do impact your happiness. AJ smiled a wry smile and told Steph; I hear you. My issue is that they keep making the same mistake – thinking I'm a baby, to stupid or immature to handle the hard shit. I would have thought they all get it – I am the only one in this family that was married, had kids and then widowed in less than 12 months and then had the balls to take on a gay lover. Yeah, therapy is helping me be ok with labels, I don't agree with them and find them benign, but they are what they are. Steph chuckled and said you keep amazing me with how you just deal with things and then can move on without judgment or baggage. AJ shook his head – I'm not sure I'm going to be able to do that with this one. Steph said last thing on this – don't let others change who you are at your core.
AJ and Steph emerged from the pool house arm in arm. Gina called out AMEN no blood; can we get this party started?