Finding Love After Incredible Loss Chapter 27
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Finding love after incredible loss – Chapter 27
AJ hugged Gina and said thanks sissy. AJ looked at the faces of his family – I'm not sure I would have been quite as colorful, but Gina pretty much covered it all. The only thing she did not know is that before I told her I wanted to feel clean again I tried to kill myself, but the gun jammed and would not fire. So, when you all tell me I'm spoiled, I'm the favorite, I'm this, I'm that you prove over and over you don't have a clue who I am, what I have been through or the obstacles I have had to overcome. My guess for everyone except Gina, my family thinks the only adversity I had of consequence before today was Sydney's death.
Scott – you know who Miranda is and you know that I think she would be great with your dad, that is why I wanted him to go pick up the bakery order. I hope you don't mind. Scott hugged AJ tight and said – you are such a big loveable goof, I figured out what you were up to when I saw my dad in the dining room unsure of what just happened with you. I'm good and more than ok with it. AJ hugged him and whispered – I'll be back in a bit. AJ walked out of the family room, grabbed his keys and left.
There was an eruption of talking – Scott yelled, SHUT IT. Ok so I have heard a lot of chatter in the last 1 – 2 minutes about how inappropriate, how dare he, how... I wasn't around when all this went down and honestly there are things that didn't make sense about our relationship until he told me what had happened to him. That said I will ALWAYS be in AJs corner, whether he is right or wrong. In this instance you ALL know he is right; I can see it in your eyes and I know it from talking with JT and Mo last night. He was on an island with a tiny rowboat for help. What he did for my dad proves to me that there is a light in that man that can't be extinguished and I will do whatever it takes to keep it shining.
He needed you all and you dropped the ball. Stephanie started to say something, Gina started to interrupt and Scott said, Gina let her finish – Stephanie thanked Scott and continued – I know this may not be popular, but I don't know where the fuck he gets off saying this stuff here and I don't like how this came about, but I do know I love him with all my heart and I will do whatever it takes to fix this fucked up mess. Gina jumped in – Stephanie, I love you but every time you talk about AJ it is always – he's so spoiled, he got this, he never had rules, he was the chosen one and just now, while I appreciate the end, everything else was about I, I, I. Stephanie started in again and Evelyn whistled VERY loudly –
She stood up; tears had been running down her face – I have heard enough from everyone. Bottom line is this family is flawed, just like every family out there. Your dad and I failed AJ at multiple turns. Gina thank you for picking up the pieces – we have no excuses or defense. We failed. Steph – this is not about you, me or anyone else at this point – AJ tried to kill himself because he didn't think HE had ANYONE that cared enough to help him. Gina did what she could and that was still not enough. The only reason that sweet man, the father of my youngest grandkids is here is by the Grace of God. Whether this was the right venue, right approach, right fucking, fill in the fucking blank is irrelevant. We are a family and were given a second chance almost 8 years ago that none of us knew and now we have a chance to make this right.
As AJ's mother I am asking you all to let your personal feelings and animosities go, come together as a family and make sure AJ knows you love him, are there for him and that you will do whatever you can to help HIM move forward. Not one of us in this room, strike that as I'm not going to assume things anymore – has anyone in this room been through something similar to what AJ has gone through, if so now is the time to get it on the table so we can heal as a family. Evelyn waited for a full 2 minutes. Ok so none of us have endured what AJ has endured to date. That's good. Does anyone have a problem putting this discussion aside and coming together to heal this family beginning today? Good, please find a time today to let AJ know you support him and he should not hold things back from us moving forward as there will never be a judgement, just help and an ear to listen. Just no more yelling and for fucks sake no more fucking foul language, ok? Everyone started laughing, hugging and trying to mend wounds. Gina was looking for Scott when she bumped into Eva and Mat as they came in with the girls.
Eva asked Gina – so what's going on here. Gina quipped family therapy, Eva have you seen Scott? Eva said – yes he was leaving as we were coming in.
Meanwhile down at the bakery –
JR had found the bakery and asked the attractive lady behind the counter for AJ's order. Miranda did a double take when she was asked for AJ's order. She thought the man looked familiar but was not sure why. Now she knew – this man had to be related to Scott, AJs partner. Same stunning looks, great eyes and a basket that filled out his jeans very nicely. JR blushed a little, he was sure the lady had checked out his package, which was growing with the knowledge that someone was interested in it. The last time this happened was when he had seen AJ naked, plowing his son's ass. Fuck now he was fully hard. He got harder as he watched Miranda head into the back room to get the bakery order.
As Miranda brought the first half of the order out, she saw AJ getting out of the car. She thought that odd, but turned and called over her shoulder to JR, there is more so keep your eye on my ass as I get the rest. JR turned BEET RED – how the hell did she know and as AJ came into the storefront he saw the mirror above the doorway to the back room – busted. Miranda returned with the remaining part of the order just as AJ stopped next to JR at the counter. Miranda and JR both stared at the young man and said in unison – so you thought I would like him/her? AJ said – yes, I did but I'm here because I just got my ass chewed by my mom and dad for meddling.
Miranda / JR – I'm sorry that I was not up front with you about this. I'm not sorry that I pushed you two together as I know you have very similar likes, dislikes and goals for your futures. Additionally, you both have great taste in people – you both like me. AJ chuckled sorry couldn't resist.
Scott heard the last part of the discussion, but he was so focused on AJ he honestly could care less. He cautiously approached AJ and asked – are you ok? AJ turned and said to him with all honesty – I am pissed at my family and a bit frustrated with these two but I'm good. JR and Miranda interrupted AJ and said – AJ, why are you frustrated with us – AJ closed his eyes and shook his head – mostly that your clothes are still on. JR your cock is at full mast – I can see that in your pants. Miranda knows you have been checking out her ass – she has a freaking mirror over the door to the back room and Miranda don't get too cocky with the smiling as I can tell by the look on your face and redness in your cheeks you have been looking at that big ole mound and thinking damn I haven't had anything that hard in a long time and I want it bad.
AJ said – I'm sorry for being so blunt, but I just blew up my life and family so not much more to lose – he tossed a condom to JR and one to Miranda and said – I'll take the pastries you lock up and get naked.
son I am sorry for treating you like a child, that was never my intention. I don't know what happened with your folks, but I will make certain that they know this whole mess was me being an old fool who was trying to stay a step ahead of Doogie Howser here and I will never read more into something he says or does again. He has proven to me to be a kind and caring man that does more for others in a day than most people do in a year and some in a lifetime. To be clear AJ/Scott I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
Miranda said – I was sure he was a cheeky bugger, but he just removed all pretense.
AJ and Scott carried the pastries to the car – flipping the open sign to close as they went through the door.
AJ and Scott carried the desserts into the house and headed for the kitchen to get the rest of the lunch ready for Mimi's birthday. When AJ walked into the kitchen he assumed things were not in a good place. He asked where mom and dad were and Cheryl said they are on the patio playing cards with Elliott, Charline, Julie and Dave. AJ took a deep breath and asked his sister – so how pissed is everyone? Cheryl pulled AJ into a hug and Max appeared behind him and sandwhiched him in a big hug. Cheryl said – you know AJ I wish things would have come out differently, but honestly, I'm just glad they are out in the open. Whatever we can do we are here to help. I can't change the past and am not going to give you any platitudes other than what is done is done. The last thing was from Max – I have been part of this family since you were 4 and I'm sorry I don't know you better, that said if you ever need help and don't ask for it I'm going to put my boot up your ass and pull it out of your mouth, are we clear. AJ chuckled and said, yes Max we are clear; I have blown up my last family function based on history. I have scheduled an initial appointment with a shrink in North Carolina for next Monday. Another hug from the two of them and AJ was off to chat with the person he figured was going to be the problem if there was one.
Stephanie, do you have a minute – Stephanie stiffened and Jim placed his hand on her thigh and squeezed. AJ waited for a reply, when none came, he turned and left. The next thing he heard was Gina screaming at Stephanie – what the fuck Steph? AJ went back into the dining room and interrupted the exchange – AJ stepped in front of Gina and talked directly to her. Sissy, she is entitled to her point of view, you are entitled to your point of view. If she does not wish to talk to me, I'll admit that hurts but I'm too tired of dealing with pain, I'm choosing to stay in the light and focus on the good. I'm guessing here as I don't know for certain but will believe the positive – Stephanie is the most reserved of our siblings, she believes in respect propriety, good manners and there is a right place and time for everything. With that as my guidepost, I believe there is a feeling I did not handle this situation correctly and that I should have behaved differently and if the last few years had not been what they were I may never have had my outburst. It's out there and the family is going to have to deal with it. All of that said – I need everyone to deal with this situation directly with me and not with each other – I am on the now side of this with you, Cheryl, Max, JT and Mo. Kevin piped in don't forget me. AJ hugged him and said never. And Kevin. I will get there with Stephanie and Jim or I won't – that is between them and me and has nothing to do with you. Gina was ready to go apocalyptic, AJ pulled his sissy to his chest – please for me walk away. AJ heard a huge sigh behind him, but he continued out of the room. Words would be needed.
AJ hugged Gina and said now off to see mom & dad – Gina started to say something and Kevin pulled her into him and said – leave it alone.
AJ found his mom and dad on the patio – his mom looked up at him and he could tell that she had been crying and was on the verge again; but she asked where's Scott? We would like the two of you to join us for a game of cards. JJ stood, hugged his son and said we are here if you need us – the past is done; the future awaits. AJ hugged his dad and said I love you; I hope you know that. Scott appeared with two chairs – he had been on the peripheral making sure his love was safe. He placed the chairs at the table, the cards were collected and Dave announced the as the guys vs. the girls. AJ and Scott looked at each other and winked – they both dropped their pants, given they were commando things were on display – Scott stated – Dave, JJ and Elliott drop the drawers and smallest cock is on the lady's team.
AJ asked hard or soft – Charlene chortled there will be no need for dick comparing – AJ / Scott you both have lovely dicks. I now understand why Sydney complained about some pain when you two first started having sex, but I digress. Please pull your pants up, we will draw for teams – odd / even. Julie chimed in as her husband had started this discussion – Neither of you two young men would have been on the lady's team. Dave turned red and said, Julie is right and I am sorry about my choice of words – you are both men.
As the cards were dealt Cheryl came out and said lunch is served – the family worked their way into the kitchen. Cheryl said – mom lead us off and happy birthday. As Evelyn and JJ were dishing up, JR and Miranda came in all smiles. JR introduced Miranda and they wished Evelyn a happy birthday. JJ invited them to dish up; Charlene, Elliott, Julie and Dave dished up and returned to the patio to eat. The rest of the family made their way through the line and settled in for a great lunch. AJ pulled Cheryl aside and thanked her for picking up his dropped ball – she said no thanks were necessary it was for family by family and we all needed to get better at relying on each other and being there for each other. She kissed him on the cheek and told him she loved him and asked when she and Max could visit in North Carolina – AJ said the 3rd week of January and the last week of March are already taken, but any time would work.
AJ saw Stephanie and her family leaving out of the front door, while disappointed he was not completely surprised. Cheryl squeezed his hand and said at some point she will figure things out; she got all the stoicism from mom and dad without the easy-going pieces – neither good or bad, it is what it is. The door opened again and in came Jim, Chandler, Jimmy and Tim – they made their way to AJ and asked if they could have a minute. AJ said absolutely and they all went into the office; Everyone was looking at the floor except Chandler – she was looking directly at AJ. She was just like AJ in almost every way so she jumped in as she knew it was not up to AJ to fix this – Uncle AJ, Jimmy, Tim and I were not around during the O'Brienagedon, we were rightfully with the kids. We don't really know the whole deal and don't really need to or want to know the details – that's you and mom's deal. What we want you to know from us kids is this – we all love you and want to be around you – you make us laugh, you make us feel like things will get better, you make us understand that things can be shit one day and sunshine the next if you keep putting one foot in front of the other and believe you deserve happiness. Mom wanted to tell us why she is mad at you and what you did to screw things up but we told her we did not want to hear it and would not listen to it. We also don't want to hear it from you, dad, mimi, papi or anyone for that matter – you are our Uncle yesterday, today and tomorrow. That will never change just like mom has been and will always be our mom.
Jimmy walked over to Uncle AJ and said, I love you. Please don't stop loving me because of this fight. Tim hugged AJ with tears streaming down his face. Chandler wrapped her arms around her brothers and AJ and hugged them all tight. Jim shook his head and said quietly – oh hell no; spun to leave and AJ grabbed his arm before he could leave pulling him into the family hug. Jim had tears running down his face – AJ whispered not now, she needs time and she needs you in her corner. AJ hugged the kids and told them he loved them, it might be a good idea to tell mimi happy birthday and let her know quietly that you have to head home. The kids wiped their eyes and headed for mimi.
AJ closed the door as the kids left and turned to talk to Jim. I love my sister whether she believes that or not. I am not going to change who I am for her or anyone for that matter. What has happened is in the past and I am trying to piece my life back together; I truly hope she figures out how to be part of that but know I will not abandon those kids. Jim she needs you to be her champion – I can tell you are ready to rip her head off for putting the kids through this emotional mess and I of all people understand emotional messes but please do your best to remember right now she is odd man out in the family. Steph thinks I have led a charmed, pampered and privileged life; at some point I hope she will realize that she had very little interaction with me at all growing up. She was 15 when I was born, married with a child when I started school and saw me at the holidays. I was the youngest of 5 and from her perspective I got everything she could not give Chandler – mom and dad had very few debts and great jobs when I came along, you were starting out and could not give Chandler the things Steph saw me getting and I definitely go more things than she did growing up as well, but what I didn't get was time and she doesn't see that. I have asked the rest of the family to not engage with each other about me or what I said today – if they want to engage with me fine, but what was discussed today was my truth. All the good the bad and the ugly. If there is anything I can do for you or the kids please let me know – I will reach out to them periodically, but I will not contact Steph. I tried today and she shut me out, the ball is in her court; my guess is Cheryl & mom will reach out to her but I doubt anyone else will. If she complains about that to you or the kids I would ask you to tell her she is the one that closed the door and she needs to open it.
There was a knock on the door and the kids came in, hugged AJ and were off. Mom and dad came in, tears in their eyes and asked to talk with AJ. Back into the office they all went. Evelyn & JJ started with – AJ we are sorry for our lack of attention and dropping the ball in the past. We have no excuses or explanations – we fucked up, we are hoping that we can leave that in the past, be in the present and plan for the future. AJ hugged them both and said I love you both with all my heart – right now I can agree to that. As you know I will be seeing a shrink and that starts Monday – I am going to focus on the future, but who knows what they will push on in the past; I promise to share what I learn so we can heal and move forward – deal? JJ stated without hesitation – absolutely skeeter. AJ laughed, dad I haven't heard that since you last coached me in little league when I was 8 and you know it kinda feels good. Hugs were shared. Evelyn looked at AJ and said I will work on your sister, she is the odd man out right now and that's cause she has all the stick up the ass features from both your dad and me and nothing to balance it out. I won't engage in talking about you, but will talk to her about how she is acting and reacting. AJ shook his head and said with a lopsided grin – Gina has rubbed off on you, you old potty mouth and just so you know I told Jim the same thing with less colorful language; he is pissed at her and was ready to rip her a new one because the kids don't understand how she can act like this. I asked him to be in her corner and help her figure it out; I also made it clear that you and Cheryl would likely reach out but that would be it as she attacked and then shut me out when I went to talk to her.
As you know Gina is in my corner against all comers including the two of you; JT and I have found some common ground this weekend that we didn't have before thanks to Mo. Neither of them has that relationship with Steph. I hope you know my intent was never to blow the family up and honestly me telling you all the failed suicide attempt was because in that moment, I wanted everyone to hurt like I did when I was 14. It was wrong and childish and not who I want to be, I want to be better than that. I'm going to ask again – please don't talk about me to my siblings, if you want to talk about me, talk to me; please reinforce that with them as well. I'm concerned about Gina; she is the opposite of Steph; all pith and vinegar from the two of you and no stoicism. All of that wrapped up in a nutshell – I'm not going to talk to any of my siblings about the other or the two of you and I hope everyone will respect that.
I love you both and will do what I can to help with Steph, but the ball is firmly in her court as she shut me out today when I tried to talk to her.
Let's go out on the patio, make sure the heaters are on and celebrate your day.