Finding Love a Journey

By Scotty

Published on Sep 5, 2007

Gay

The Journey of Love, by Scotty

****Finding Love: A Journey
****By: **Scotty
**(Copyright 2007 by the author)

_Disclaimer: This is a fictional story dealing with love and consensual sexual activities between males.  If you are not of legal age, reside in an area where viewing such material is illegal, or are offended by homosexuality and/or homosexual themes, leave this site now.

The characters in this story do not always practice safe sex.  Remember this is fiction.  You should always use a condom for the your protection and especially for the protection of the one you love.  The author recommends only safe sex.  Be wise and follow safe sex practices.

Several songs are quoted in this story. The copyrights to these are held by the artists or their publishers and not by the author. They are quoted as a tribute to the artist and the piece.

All persons in this story are fictional and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental._

All other disclaimers apply. _The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...
_[scotty@tickiestories.us](mailto:scotty@tickiestories.us?subject=[N] Finding Love: A Journey Chapter 05)

Chapter 5

**I was sitting in front of Brad in the Jacuzzi.  I had leaned against him, my back lying tight to Brad's chest.  Brad's penis had become hard early on and now prodded my back.  My own penis was so hard that it hurt, but I did not wish to provoke any other "action" as Brad referred to making love.  We had enjoyed the Jacuzzi for sometime when Brad finally wrapped his arms around me and kissed the back of my neck.

"We're both going to be prunes, Baby.  The only thing that won't be wrinkled will be our cocks because they haven't been soft since daybreak," Brad said with a laugh.

"Guess you're right.   Should we take a shower together?  It's a really nice shower; it's got water coming in from three sides, kind of a turn on.  It's up to you, sweetheart," I told Brad

"I like it when you call me sweetheart.  Let's take a shower together, and maybe, just maybe we can..."

"Jacob, are you in there.  The door's locked.  Did Brad go home?  He's not in his bedroom.  Jacob?"

"It's Sadie, what do we do?" asked a very nervous Brad.

"Hi, Sadie.  I'll be right there.  Give me a minute." 

Speaking softly to Brad, "We do nothing! Here, put on this bathrobe; yeah, you look like you just got out of the Jacuzzi.  Hand me the other one.  How do I look?"

Without any answer, Brad took me into his arms and kissed me gently.

"Jacob, you are so sexy.  Do you know what you do to me?"

I laughed as I brushed my hand across the tented bathrobe,

"I have a little idea.  Slap the thing down so we can go to the door and say hi to Sadie."

We both were laughing as we approached the door.  I quietly unlocked the door and opened it.

"Morning, Sadie; Brad and I were just enjoying the Jacuzzi."

"Morning, Miss Sadie," Brad added.

"Morning to both of you two.  Have a good night's sleep?"

"Yeah, it was a perfectly good night's sleep," I told her.

"Breakfast in five minutes.  You can wear the robes.  It's just the three of us, so get your fannies moving and get to the dining room.  I'll give you five minutes," she barked as she left us standing at the door.

I closed the door quietly, opened my robe and then Brad's and pulled him into my arms, our naked bodies touching.  Then I kissed him.

"Shit," Brad said, "now I got another hardon."

(Laughter.)**

*****

**We had a long, pleasant breakfast.  Sadie had pulled out all the stops and we enjoyed eggs, waffles, two kinds of toast, bacon, sausage, fresh strawberries and melon, loads of OJ, and milk; there was cereal if we wanted it.

There was much laughter and some interesting questions from Sadie.  I know that Brad was unnerved by some of the conversation.

"So," boys, "what time did you get up this morning?"

Together, but not in unison,

"Seven o'clock," I said.

"Eight o'clock," he said.

Sadie smiled.

"Was your bed comfortable, Brad?" asked Sadie.

"Yes, very nice, ma'am," he replied.

"As comfortable as Jacob's?" she asked again.

"Oh, my bed was fine, as usual," I told her.

"Do you agree with that, Brad?" she asked.

"I wouldn't know, ma'am," was his shaky reply.

I was just about dying.  I wanted to laugh, but I decided that wouldn't go over very well with either Brad or Sadie.  Poor Brad was beside himself.  His face was redder than a Santa Claus suit.  I could see the sparkle in Sadie's eyes, and I knew she was having her fun.

"Sadie this was a wonderful breakfast," I offered in an attempt to change the subject.

"Glad you liked it, Jacob.  Did you find it to your liking, Mr., Mason?"

"I did.  Thank you very much, Miss Sadie," Brad replied.

Sadie began to pick up the dishes, but she was not finished with her interrogation.  As she removed the plate from in front of Brad, she asked him,

"So, Mr. Mason, what do you think of my Jacob?"

"Ah, I think he's a pretty nice guy.  He's funny, when he let's himself be.  He's kind and always puts everyone's welfare ahead of his.  He's pleasant and makes you feel good.  I like him.  I like him alot."

"And you, Jacob, what's your take on Mr. Mason?" she asked.

I was aware that Brad was uneasy and giving me an evil eye which Sadie couldn't see from where she was standing.  His face was also purple, either from fear that I would spill the beans or from anger that he had been put in this place of interrogation.  I smiled my best at him, and as I spoke, I rubbed my now bare foot (I had taken off my sandal at the table) on his leg.  He didn't move it, but I was sure I would pay the price for this little maneuver.  Sadie stood, hands on her hips, waiting for me to say something.

"I think Brad is a very special person, Sadie.  He saw me in trouble, and instead of running away, or laughing at me, he helped me.  He went to lunch with me, introduced me to his friends, and threatened them when they began picking on me.  We went to English and Phys. Ed together, and then he offered to take me home.  You know the rest.  I think he's pretty wonderful, Sadie, very wonderful."

"Sounds like you are infatuated with him.  Are you?"

Brad was now fidgeting in his chair, but I refused to stop rubbing his leg with my bare foot.  I could tell he wanted to say something, but I decided quickly that I didn't want him to say much right at the moment.

"I guess I am infatuated with him.  What's infatuated mean, Sadie?" I asked as I slipped my other foot out of the sandal and began to rub both of Brad's legs.

"For heaven's sake, Jacob, we have to work on your vocabulary.  What I'm asking is if you are gaga over him?

"If you mean do I think he's the most wonderful person I have met here, the answer is `yes'.  I like to be around him, and I expect you will see a lot of him here.  He's gonna help me tone up my body.  He knows what he's doing, too, Sadie, just look at his body.  I mean oho..." Brad was now rubbing my leg with his bare foot.

Sadie gave me a quizzical look and then asked,

"What was that `oho' all about?" 

Ignoring her question, I said,

"Sadie, Brad and I are going to spend the day at the beach.  Will you get us some stuff for lunch?  We'll need plenty of water, and some other drinks.  We'll want beach towels, some sun screen; you know what we need."  Sadie just looked at me.

"Jacob, you stay with me and help me decide on your menu for the beach.  Brad, you go take a shower, or whatever and get dressed."

"Jacob," asked Brad, "how am I going to go to the beach when I don't have a bathing suit with me?"

"We'll stop and tell your parents where we're going and you can grab one there.  You can also tell them that you're staying here again tonight `cause I'm taking you out to dinner as a thank you for all you've done for me.  Now get going.  I'll be there in a couple of minutes."

"Okay, okay, I'm gone." and he disappeared down the hall.

Sadie cleared her throat and sat in the chair right next to mine.  She looked intently at me, and then asked me in a quiet and controlled voice,

"Did the two of you sleep together last night?"

"Yes, I can't lie to you, Sadie."

"Did he, well, take advantage of you?"

"Oh, God, no.  No, he didn't take advantage of me.  Not once,"

I could say that with a straight face and without lying.  If anything, I might have seduced him.  In any event, he didn't take advantage of me.

"Well, what I want to know, Jacob, and this is a difficult question to ask, but did you and Brad do anything sexual?" she asked in a tender, quiet voice.

Although I was a little frightened, I had learned long ago not to lie, because it never helps anything.  I wanted Sadie to continue to love me and to eventually learn to love Brad.  I took a deep breath and told her,

"Yes, we did."

"Okay.  What are we going to tell your father, Jacob."

"I don't intend to tell him anything.  He's never here anyway, so I don't care what he thinks.  I do care what you think, though."

"How serious has the sex been?"

"It's only been masturbation and a little oral.  Brad refused my begging for anal sex.  He doesn't think we're ready for that.  He said when the moment is right we'll both know.  Mostly, Sadie, we want to be around each other.  We are beginning to fall in love, but we're trying to be mature about it all, take our time, get to know each other better.  I want to meet his family.  I want him to meet Dad.

"We're going to the beach today so that we can lie in the sun, in a quiet place, and talk to each other about what we want from life.  I don't know what he wants to do after graduation or  where he wants to go to college.  I don't even know if he plans to go to college or to continue football after this year.  So there's lots for us to talk about."

Sadie said nothing for a long time.  Then in a very measured way, she looked me in the eye and told me,

"Jacob Neilson, I love you as my own son.  I want only the best for you.  That's what your dad wants, too, even though he doesn't always know how to show it.  He's getting better since he met Diane; he's happier.  I wish you two weren't having sex, but Brad seems level headed and a little more mature than you.  Make it clear to him, no, I want to tell him.  If he ever hurts you in any way, I'll find him and I'll beat the crap out of him.  Understand?"

"I do, and thanks for understanding, Sadie.  I love you.  So, can he stay tonight and whenever it's possible for him to be with me?"

"Yes, yes, yes.  Now get your bod upstairs and report it all to him.  Actually, I like Brad.  It's pretty obvious that he really cares for you," she said with a smirk. 

I wondered as I raced to my suite if she had seen him respond to my playful feet.**

*****

**I flew into the bedroom to find Brad standing there naked.  He was beautiful.  I closed the bedroom door, threw off my robe and jumped into his arms, kissing him wildly.  He carried me to the bed and laid me down covering me with his body as we continued to kiss.  I pulled away from him just long enough to tell him in breathless joy,

"She likes you Brad.  She knows we had oral sex.  She knows we didn't have anal sex.  You can stay here anytime, any night you want to stay.  She'll deal with my father later."

Brad's kisses got more intense and our privates were beginning to stand at attention.  I was convinced we were about to have sex, when he pulled away from me and began to tickle me.  I was laughing, almost crying.  He began to chide me,

"You devil, playing with my legs with your feet.  You got me so hard.  I think Sadie noticed it."

"I don't think she could see my feet."

"You dickhead, she saw my hardon!"

(Laughter.)**

*****

**Sadie was impressed when she saw me in a new pair of board shorts, a colorful T-shirt, and attractive flip-flops.  Brad was nothing to ignore either.  We were in a good mood, and Sadie noted that she had not seen me this happy for years.  Brad was good for me. 

We grabbed the cooler, towels and assorted other items and got ready to leave.  I gave Sadie a quick kiss, followed, to Sadie's surprise, with a quick kiss from Brad. 

She smiled widely as she thought, `Yup. Brad is good for Jacob and for me'.

We hurried to the garage, loaded the Mustang with our stuff, still laughing and having a good time.  We got into the car and Brad backed it out after I had opened the garage door.  He backed into the turnaround, and headed out the driveway through the gate I had opened, and out onto the highway.  We settled in for the short ride to Brad's home.  After a  moment or two, I said,

"She likes you, Brad."

"Really?"

"She sure does.  Didn't you see how she looked at you?" I asked him.

Brad started to laugh, but he continued to watch the road.  I wondered what was so funny, and I learned quickly,

"I saw her sneaking a look at my hardon." he told me as he continued to laugh.

"Brad! That's, that's...funny." and I burst out laughing.

"Here we are.  I don't have to stop at the security hut `cause I have a sticker with a barcode on it.  It opens the gate when I drive by the reader."  Brad waved to the guard.

"Who's he?"

"That's Sam.  He's been here for a long time.  He's a great guy.  My folks are always giving him little gifts.  He lost his wife to cancer a couple of years ago.  He's alone now;  kids are all grown and live all over the country.  I like him, Jacob.  You would, too, he's funny and tells great jokes."

"Maybe I can meet him some day.  It's very nice in here, Brad.  These are beautiful homes."

"Yeah, here we are.  Are you nervous?  Just let me do most of the talking.  Answer their questions, but don't go into details.  And no talk of oral or anal sex.  They would die.  They don't know their second son is also gay and happy.  I want to kiss you right now, but I think I'll wait until later.  No sense screwing up everything.  I want to be with you for a long, long time." 

I reached over and took his hand and placed it on my crotch so he could feel my erection.

"Wow! What caused that?" he asked incredulously.

"You did, when you said you wanted to kiss me and that you wanted to be with me for a long, long time.  You don't have to keep your hand on my cock, Brad."

"But I want to.  Well, no I want to suck it.  So there."

"Asshole, you can't kiss me, but you'd risk everything to suck my cock.  I don't believe you."

"Of course I won't do it here, but that's what I would love to do.  Wouldn't you like that, Baby?

"Of course, you sex maniac.  Now let's go meet your parents, get your swimsuit, and get to the beach.  We want to work on our Florida tans." 

Without any other comment, Brad got out of the Mustang.  I followed him into the lovely house.

"Mom, Dad, I want you to meet Jacob Neilson.  Mom?"

"We're out here on the patio having a second cup of coffee.  Come out here, please," Brad's mother said.

When we walked out onto the patio, I was surprised at how young both parents were.  Mrs. Mason was a dark-haired beauty.  She had a smile I had seen before, recognizing that Brad had inherited his smile from her.  Mr. Mason, on the other hand, was very reserved, or at least he was at that moment.  He was beginning to lose his hair, but his body was in good shape and he didn't appear to be overweight.

"Good morning, Mom," Brad said as he kissed his mother on the cheek.  Mornin', Dad.  Was the party a good one? "  Before they could answer, Brad continued,

"Mom, Dad, this is Jacob Neilson.  I met him yesterday at school and we have become friends.  He's a great guy."

Mr. Mason stood up and walked over toward me.  He extended his hand and I shook it, nervous that he might figure out something from my handshake that he didn't like or of which he didn't approve.

"Hi, Jacob, nice to meet you." 

He then went over and stood behind his wife's chair, looking keenly at both Brad and me.  I was getting really uneasy, when Mr. Mason made me smile,

"Jacob, relax.  You're not trying out for anything.  You're just a friend of Brad's.  You seem like a nice young man.  Is your dad  Douglas Neilson, owner of Neilson Realties?"

"Yes, sir, that's my dad."

"I know of him through work we have done for clients who were buying property from him.  He's a fine, upright man."

"Thank you, sir.  I appreciate that." 

I wondered what Mr. Mason would think of my daddy if he knew of his extracurricular activities with Diane.

"So, as I understand it, you two are headed to the beach.  It's a beautiful day for it.  Is there anything your dad or I can do to help get things ready?" asked his mother flashing a smile.

"No, mom, we're cool.  Just gotta grab a swim suit and I want to show Jake my room.  Jake wants me to go out to dinner with him tonight; it's like a thank you for what I did for him yesterday.  Then, if it's okay with you two, I am going to stay at his house tonight.  I promise, though, that both of us will go to church. Is it okay if I go to Jake's church, St. Augustine's; I think it's Anglican or Episcopalian." 

Mrs. Mason laughed,

"It's Episcopalian, Brad.  And yes, you may stay over.  But take some dress clothes with you.  I don't want you to look like some kid from the sticks.  Thank you, Jacob, for offering to take Brad to dinner and to have him stay over again.  Are you sure the housekeeper won't mind?"

"Oh, no, Sadie won't mind.  She likes Brad.  I think she's sweet on him.  Right, Brad?"

"Shut up, chlorine breath, just shut up."

(Laughter.)

"Glad to meet you, Jacob.  I'm comforted that you can take care of yourself when our son tries to get funny," said Mr. Mason.

"Come on, Jake, let's get outta here before you know too much about me," said Brad with a wry smile.

"Nice meeting both of you.  Don't worry, I'll keep Brad in line."**

*****

**Brad just about pushed me off the patio, into the house, and up the stairs to his room.  The minute I walked into his room, I loved it.  It said Brad in every way.  The walls were covered with poster-sized photos of athletes, musicians, scenes from Florida and the USA.  His bed was queen sized and covered with a bright red designer comforter.

His desk was large and looked like an antique.  It held his desk top computer, a printer and other equipment.  His laptop was also on the desk.  His television was a large plasma screen in the corner of the room with a couple of comfortable chairs.  His PlayStation and Xbox controllers were lying on the floor. 

He had a large walk-in closet which was filled with clothes.  His stereo was a beauty and was huge, but silent at the moment.  Brad sort of ignored me as he rummaged through his dresser looking for some clothes.  He pulled out some boxers, some clean socks, and a white dress shirt.  From the closet he grabbed a suit  and pulled a tie from the small collection hanging on the side wall. He hurried back to the dresser and pulled out a bathing suit  Off the floor of the closet he scooped up a pair of dress shoes.  Then he looked at me and smiled that damn smile that took my breath away,

"Almost ready.  Close the door, please.  And lock it." he ordered me.

I did as I was told and came back to the middle of the room.  Brad stood there smiling again, he used his pointer finger to motion me over to him.  As soon as I was in range, he pulled me to him and kissed me.  I almost collapsed into his arms.

"I've been wanting to do that since we got out of the car.  Hope you didn't mind all the bullshit with my folks."  I kissed him again.

"No, I thought they were nice.  Do you think they liked me?  I asked him as he began to remove his clothes.  I looked at him with a question on my face."  He laughed,

"I want to change into my swimsuit, okay?"

"Be my guest," I told him.

He had pulled off his T-shirt, kicked off his sandals, and pulled down his shorts and boxers.  He stood there, naked and beautiful.  I didn't hesitate a second.  He didn't even have time to bend over to pick up his swimsuit.  I was in his arms and had his cock in my hand.  It began to harden almost immediately.

"You have to stop, Jake, please.  I want you right now, but we can't.  I mean, my folks, and well..." he stopped immediately when I dropped to my knees and kissed the head of his now stiff penis.  I was about to take him into my mouth, when he backed away.

"Jake, not now, please," he pleaded as he pulled on his swimsuit.  I know I must have looked surprised or maybe disappointed.

"You're pissed at me, right?" he asked.

"Not exactly.  I just don't understand.  I thought you liked me to do you.  I guess I misread you earlier." I mumbled.

"Oh, Jake, shut the fuck up.  You know I want it and you all the time, but I want to save it for later, for a time when I don't have to worry about a knock on the door.  Forgive me for being paranoid about my parents.  Jake, if they found us even kissing, I think I would be out of the house on my ass.  My mom, but especially my dad, thinks that gays are the lowest scum on the face of planet earth.  They're sure it's a choice we make, that we can be cured by some kind of religious intervention and deprogramming.  I hear about it all the time.  They want to try to change Chris.  Until I'm old enough to live on my own, I have to watch everything I do and say.  Please understand."

(Silence.)

"If they asked about me and our relationship, what would you tell them, Brad?  Would you deny that you love me?"

"I couldn't deny I love you, but I'm not sure how I would handle it.  I would take the risk if it meant I would have to say I didn't love you, didn't love every hair on your head, every tiny pore on your skin, your lips, your eyes, everything about you. I...I..."  Brad grabbed me and began to kiss me wildly.

When I broke to take a breath, I smiled at Brad and told him,

"You just told me how you feel about me.  It's mutual.  Now let's get to the beach."

"Jake, you're a devil; that's another one of the reasons I love you.  Let's get out of here."  We left, waving to the Masons as we passed the patio.  We got Brad's stuff into the Mustang and were off to the beach.**

*****

**The sun was really getting hot and the parking lot at the beach was practically filled.  It took some driving around before Brad found a parking space that he felt would keep his prize car safe.  We walked to the path that led to the beach, crossed the wooden bridge and then walked down the beach until we found a place where we felt comfortable. 

We laid out our towels and got things situated, I took off my board shorts.  Brad had already laid down on his towel and his head was turned away from me.  My shorts slid down to my ankles and I stepped out of them.  I wondered if he would like my swimsuit.

"Want me to put some lotion on your back?" I asked him. 

He turned and when he saw me his eyes bugged out of his head.

"Holy shit, Jake.  My good god, you're, you're beautiful and sexy.  That Speedo just shows all of your attributes.  Look what it did to me?"

He turned on his back and his erect penis was clearly in evidence.  I laughed a little, as I knelt down on my towel.  Brad started to laugh.

"Cripes, Jake, you better lie down on  your stomach or you're gonna rip a hole right thru the front of your Speedo.  Man you are so hung!" 

(Laughter.)

I began to rub lotion onto Brad's back and as my hands ran smoothly from his shoulders to the waist of his swimsuit, my cock grew harder and harder.  I knew I hadn't really finished my job, but I had to lie down on my stomach to hide my problem.  Brad turned his head to look at me.  He smiled and then ran his tongue across his lips.  I was quickly getting on fire.  I did the same thing, my tongue slowly gliding across my full pink lips.

"Will you kiss me here on the beach?" I asked. 

For an answer he pulled my head closer to him and kissed me long and softly.  He put his arm across my back, and continued to kiss me.**

***** 

**I was so involved that I didn't notice the shadow at first.  We both were brought back to realty when we heard Shank's voice.

"Well, well, well.  If it isn't our gay friends.  Brad Mason and his bitch, Jacob whatever.  Hmmm, wonder how the rest of the football team would like having a cocksucker as their quarterback?"

Brad sat up and turned and looked directly at Herman Shanks.

"Why don't you get the fuck away from us, Shanks.  What do you care about the two of us?  Get a life."

"I'll get a life, you bet ur ass, Brad.  I'm gonna fuck that bitch of yours until he begs me for more.  I'll show him what a real man is like.  You're just another faggot."

As Brad jumped up and I noticed the knife in his hand.  He lifted his arm and brought it down in a wide arc, the knife headed toward Herman Shanks.  I screamed,

"Brad, no, no, no.  Please don't do it.  Please don't"

"Jake, Jake, you fell asleep.  So did I.  God, your back is very red.  What was the yelling all about?  Did you have a bad dream?"

"Yeah it was awful.  Shanks showed up and found us kissing and he threatened to rape me, and you got angry and somehow had a knife and you were going to stab him and I knew that you shouldn't and if you did they would put you in prison and I would never see you again and if Shanks died they might execute you.  Oh God, it was awful and I would have to tell your parents and they would hate me and Chris would hate me and my father would hate me and even Sadie would hate me, and I would want to die, and..."

"Shush, Baby. Slow down.  Everything's okay.  We're safe and here alone on the beach.  And, Jake, I need to get some lotion on your back and the back of your legs or you're going to be so sore you won't want me to touch you tonight."

I laid down quickly and urged Brad to hurry up.  He just laughed.  With a gentleness I would not have believed, he slowly applied the cool lotion.  He knelt between my spread legs and worked at applying the lotion from my shoulders down.  When he would lean forward, I could feel his penis pushing against my ass crack, giving me a small amount of the pleasure I hoped I would enjoy sometime later in our relationship. 

I wanted Brad so badly to make love to me that way. But I was beginning to understand that we would have to wait until we knew our love would continue and grow.  I knew that Brad had no intention of making love to me that way until the time was right for both of us.  How much time would pass before that happened, if it ever did, neither of us knew.

"How does that feel, Jake?" he asked me.

"Hmm,  well, the lotion and massage are terrific, but having your love tool rubbing on my butt was the best."

"Yeah, I was getting a little carried away.  Let's try to cool it, Jake, please.  I want this as much as you do, probably more than you do, but I'm trying to be realistic about it.  I've only known you for two days, not even two days.  We both have a great deal to learn about each other."

"I know, sweetheart, I know.  It's just, well..."

"It's just that you're hotter than a just-fired shotgun," he added with a gentle laugh.

"I'm a disgusting slut, aren't I?" I asked with a silly giggle.

"Right on, dude, and I love you for it."

We were both lying on our backs now, our shades on, looking into the blue sky.  Brad's hand wandered over and took mine.  He threw another towel over our hands guaranteeing us some privacy on the public beach.  I felt so complete, so loved at that moment.

"Brad, have you even been with a girl?"

"What do you mean.  Of course, I've dated girls."

"No, I mean have you ever had sex with a girl?"

"Would it matter to you if I had?"

"No, but I would like to know. For some reason it seems important to me.  You don't have to tell me though; it's really not any of my business.  Forgive me for asking."

(Silence.)

"I've kissed a couple of girls, but never with any tongue.  I felt up a couple, especially their tits.  Never touched them at home plate, though.  Never really wanted to do that."

(Silence.)

"Have you ever been with another guy?  Never mind, that is so not any of my business?"

"Have you ever been with another guy, Jake?"

"You're asking ME that.  You've got to be kidding.  I was never close enough to anyone, male or female, to have been with them.  No, I was the proverbial virgin until you changed all that for the better."

(Quiet Laughter.)

"Yeah, I've been with another guy.  Once, then never again.  I didn't want to be queer.  I knew I was, but I didn't want to admit it to myself.  I did the dirty: you jerk me off, I'll jerk you off, with Todd.  I think he's gay, too, but we never discussed it.  I'm sorry if that upsets you.  It was more exploration."

"I'm not upset, maybe curious.  How do you know so much about giving pleasure to another guy, Brad?  You are so good at it.  I took my lead from you.  I'm just a little behind your knowledge base," I said with a laugh.

"I'm a good reader, and I pick up things quickly.  Read a lot of the Nifty stories.  I surfed the net, found a lot of stuff.  Some of it was like, well, lessons on how to do certain things to a guy to give him pleasure."

(Silence.)

"So, I'm kinda like your first?" I asked with a silly giggle.

"And the best, Jake.  I don't need anyone else.  Never."

I began giggling and soon was laughing like a crazy man.

"What's so funny?" asked a slightly irritated Brad.

"I bet you say that to all the girls." I choked out. 

Brad was laughing too.  He  jumped onto my stomach and began tickling me.  I was beside myself, twisting and trying to get away from him, but he was the stronger of the two of us and it was a losing battle until I told him,

"Brad, I am about to piss all over you and me.  Come on, race you to the water." 

Brad jumped up and ran faster than hell toward the water.  I just lay there for a moment, watching him as he moved away from me exhibiting all his beauty as a young male.  I jumped up and followed him into the beautiful Atlantic.

I dove into a breaker and came up, wiped the water from my eyes , but couldn't find Brad anywhere.  I panicked.  Where could he be?

As that thought raced across my mind, I heard a huge splash and was suddenly wrapped in Brad's arm.  He was laughing and then surreptitiously kissed my neck.  Then he dunked me.

I came up sputtering and laughing and threatening Brad with sure death.  He just stood there laughing, the water glistening on his tanned chest, his nipples, surrounded by quarter-sized dark brown aureola were standing erect from the cold water.  I noticed that he was examining my chest, too.  The aureola of my nipples was larger than Brad's but not as dark brown; my nipples were erect, too.

Brad grabbed me from behind again, and I assumed I was about to be dunked again,  Instead he quickly rubbed my hard nipples between his fingers.  I thought I would shoot off in my Speedo, but he quickly stopped and did dunk me.  I swam up behind him, surfaced and grabbed him as he had done me.  I really wanted to kiss and suck his nipples, but I had to be satisfied running them between my fingers.  Brad obviously was as stimulated as I because he quickly pulled me down into the surf.

We both came up laughing and sputtering.  I had one more trick I wanted to try.  I pulled Brad out into the deeper water.  I dunked us both, pulled him to me, and, as best I could, kissed him.  It only lasted a second or two, but I knew Brad had enjoyed it.  As we surfaced he spoke quietly to me,

"I'm going back in to lie in the sun.  You can stay in the water if you want.  I know you're closely related to fish."

"Forget it, Brad.  I want some sun and, incidentally, you."

Laughing boisterously, we ran to our towels which were warmed from the sun and threw ourselves down upon them .  We turned our heads and were looking at each other.  I mouthed silently,

"I love you." 

Brad smiled and mouthed silently,

"I love you, Baby."

I wrapped a  towel around my shoulders and got out some sandwiches and chips and a couple of cans of cola.  We sat cross legged facing each other and ate our lunch.  As we ate, we also talked about various things.

"Brad, I did have a kind of sexual experience with a guy.  I was in the eighth grade and he was a sophomore.  I didn't know gay from straight.  My only close friend told me to be aware of Jeff.  I asked him why.  He told me that Jeff was giving me the eye.  When I asked him why, he laughed.  Check out your cock size compared with the rest of us, and you'll see why.  I did that and I was surprised that mine was so much bigger than the other guys."

"I believe that, Jake," said Brad. 

"When I told Patrick about my discovery, he told me that Jeff was gay and was interested in me.  I avoided Jeff for a long time, but then one day, alone in the shower with him, he rubbed my ass and then took my cock into his mouth and began to suck me.  Then coach called out to see if anyone was still there.  I hurried away from him, but not before he threatened me if I ever told anyone.  So, I'm not a virgin.  I'm so sorry."

Brad reached and rubbed his hand across my leg, saying,

"That doesn't count, Jake.   You didn't want that.  That creep abused you.  He should have his balls cut off."

I laughed and told him,

"That's what my father wanted to do when I told him."

A look of disbelief came over Brad's face, and he whispered,

"You told your father?"

"Yeah, stupid aren't I?"

"No, you're brave!"

"Really?"

"Really!"

(Silence.)

Then Brad, looked me directly in the eyes, and asked me,

"Jake, you don't really like your dad, do you?  If you don't mind telling me, why?"

I chewed on my sandwich for a bit, took a drink of cola, looked down at the sandy beach, and then looking at Brad, I said,

"There are lots of reasons."

Brad just looked at me, and then quietly, said,

"I would suspect that, Jake.  I have some reasons I don't like my dad."

I smiled at him and took his hand in mine.

"Some of the reasons are important and some of them are silly."

I took a deep breath and as I did, Brad squeezed my hand three times.

"What's that supposed to mean?"  Brad smiled widely and told me,

"It comes from a story called "The Road Home" by Tyler Peel.  It's a wonderful story, and in it the main character, Tyler, squeezes his friends' hands or arms or pats them on the back three times.  It's sort of a secret message.  It means, "I love you."

"Oh?"

"And, Jake, I do love you."

"I know.  I know.  I don't deserve it, but it makes me happy."

"Damn it, Jake, what do you mean you don't deserve it?  If a person loves you, then you deserve it.  No one loves another without a desire to love them.  I love you, Jake, because I want to love you.  I love you because you are you.  I don't have some special list of things that you have to have, to do, or be.  I love you because it's the right thing for me to do."

"You don't know much about me, Brad.  I'm not a good person.  I really dislike, no probably the right word is hate, my father.  That's pretty terrible, I think.  And sometimes I don't tell the truth.  I didn't tell you the truth about my age or why I don't have a car.  That's pretty terrible, too.  And I have cheated on exams and papers.  That's terrible, isn't it?  And when I was younger, I took things that didn't belong to me, that's stealing.  I think that's terrible.  And, and, this is the worse thing I have ever done, and it's so terrible I don't know if I can tell you."

"Jake, for Chrissakes, just spit it out."

"You're gonna hate me, but, but, meeting you in the bathroom at school wasn't exactly an accident."

Brad looked at me with disbelief on his face, his eyes, flashing.  I knew I had ruined it all.

"What do you mean by that, Jake."

I turned away from him, took a deep breath trying to stop the tears, but it didn't work.  I turned back to him and his face expressed concern.  He took my hand and brought it to his lips and kissed it gently.

"I sort of planned it.  I wanted to meet you.  I wanted you to notice me.  I'm so sorry, Brad.  Let's pick up our stuff and you can take me home.  I know you won't want to go out to dinner with me now, and you certainly won't ever want to stay over at my house again.  But I feel better, Brad.  I told you the truth." 

My body sagged and I fell onto the towel and began to weep.

(Silence.)

Then I heard Brad laughing.  He took me by my shoulders and raised me up, facing him, I couldn't avoid his eyes which were again filled with smiles.  He just kept looking at me, trying to come up with something to say to me that wouldn't hurt me too much, but give him an out of our infant relationship.  Then he kissed me.

"You little imp.  So you planned the whole thing?  How did you know I would follow you into the bathroom?"

"I didn't know.  I just knew you came by that boy's bathroom on the way to the cafeteria.  And I had listened to all the good things people said about you during those first few days.  And I was crazy for you, Brad.  You're handsome, athletic, intelligent, and how I prayed you might be gay.  I had to try."

"Well, thank the good Lord you did.  I wondered about some of it.  I mean, a guy as handsome as you, and you are well built and could take care of yourself, and yet I find you in the stall crying."

"Yeah, it was really pretty lame, wasn't it?" 

I started to pick up things and tried to put them away.  Brad grabbed my hand and stopped me.

"I hadn't seen you before that, to tell the truth, but if I had, I know I would have fallen for you like a ton of bricks.  I'm glad you did it, Jake.  And, fuck it, you're not a bad person.  You're a wonderful person who deserves to be loved.  I want to be the one who loves you for as long as we live.  Do you understand me?" 

He smiled that smile and I didn't care if the whole state of Florida saw us.  I jumped into his arms and began to kiss him.  Brad held me for a long time in his arms and kissed me once in a while.  I sat up then, and looked into his eyes; I finally said a simple,

"Thank you, Brad, for loving me."  For that I got another great kiss.

"Do you want to talk about your dad now, Jake, or would you rather forget about it?"

"No, it will help if I talk about it, especially to you, Brad, because I love you so much.  Well, one important reason was that he wouldn't let me see my mom the day she died.  He told me to remember her as she was.  That was stupid.  I knew she wasn't going to look as she had looked. 

"But I wanted...I wanted to hold her hand, kiss her forehead.  I just wanted to try to let her know that I loved her.  But he wouldn't let me.  I will never forgive him for that."

Tears were now sliding down my cheeks.  Brad's face was filled with agony.

"Jake, you don't have to talk about this.  I was stupid again and fucked up our fun day.  Why don't we talk about something else."

"No, it's better to get it out of my system.  Other than Sadie, I've never talked about this with anyone else.     After my mom died, my dad just sort of ignored me.  He seldom talked to me.  Sadie was there, but she wasn't my father. 

"He worked very hard and became more successful then ever.  That was bad enough, but then when my brother Jason was killed in Germany, he really shut me out of his life.  I've thought a lot about that, and I guess he's afraid to love me too much for fear of losing me as he has lost my mom, Jason and my sister Karen."

Brad reached across his legs and patted mine.  I could see the pain reflected in those beautiful green eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Jake.  I need to give you a hug so badly.  And I'm going to do it." 

He reached for me, and I fell into his arms, my pent up agony and sorrow finally broke away from my soul, and I wept unabashedly, sobbing loudly.  Brad held me and whispered into my ear, telling me he was there for me, that he was sorry, that he wished he could make my pain go away.

An older lady stopped and asked it everything was all right.  Brad told her that I was finally letting out my sorrow over the loss of my mother.  She looked forlornly at us, and said to Brad,

"Well you just keep hugging him tightly.  He needs someone to support him, to console him.  You're a good boy to help him through this tough time."

She continued down the beach becoming smaller and smaller just as my sorrow diminished.

"Why don't we talk about this later.  You look tired, Baby.  Lie down and see if you can get some sleep," Brad said.

We both put away the remnants of our lunch, and laid down next to each other.  Our hands found each other, and in a short time, we both fell asleep.**

*****

**I felt cool and woke up.  Brad was still asleep; the sun was now getting lower in the sky and even though it was still warm, our sun-baked bodies seemed chilled.  I really didn't want to wake him, but I knew we had to think about getting back before Sadie was worried that something might have happened. 

I glanced both ways up and down the beach and noticed that it was deserted near us, so I leaned over and kissed Brad's back: once, again, then again, and finally he stirred.  I didn't stop and kissed his back down to the waist of his swimsuit.  He chose that moment to roll over.

He smiled at me, those green eyes alive with passion.  I kissed his stomach, just above the waistband of his bathing suit.  He let out a little gasp, and reached down, grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me up to where he could kiss me on the lips.  Gentle at first, we soon were filled with passion and our kissing became urgent, almost feverish.

"I love waking up and having you near to me.  You're always so warm, so easy to love.  I want you with me forever, Jake, forever," Brad said.

I kissed him again, letting my hands roam over his chest, his stomach, his crotch.  He was sighing and then moaning, and as my hands moved across his crotch, his penis began its march to fullness.  He rolled  over on top of me and kissed me hard on the mouth, taking my breath away.  His body was warming me, and I could feel all of his maleness, his turgid penis, and his heavy testicles rubbing against mine.  He raised himself up off from me, smiled at me, and said,

"We have to stop this, Jake.  I mean, I want you so much, but we're on a public beach, and I don't want to share you in any way with anyone.  I want you exclusively to myself.  Let's get home, where maybe, after we get back from dinner, we can make love for most of the night."

I patted my lover's head, kissed him quickly and he rolled off of me and onto his own towel.  I couldn't just let him leave me without some expression of my love, so I decided to give him a peak at me, naked.  I asked him to look over at me, and as he did, I slipped down by Speedo, and lay before him with my private parts exposed and stimulated.  He gasped and I laughed.  He laughed even harder when he watched me try to pull my Speedo up over my now hardened cock.  Finally in desperation, I grabbed my board shorts and slipped them on bunching my Speedo up in my crotch, but  I was finally covered.  Now Brad was guffawing, delighting in my embarrassment.

"You sexy tease.  That will teach you to tease me.  I plan to get even with you tonight.  You, my water-logged lover, will be mine, Mine, MINE!" he said in his attempt at a villainous voice. 

We both broke up.  In a high falsetto, I said,

"Oh, sir, please.  Don't take advantage of me, a poor young thing.  Treat me with respect and love, sir."

Continuing in his terrible villainous voice, and between laughs and chokes, he continued,

" `Tis too late, you are MINE, MINE, MINE!  You will regret teasing me, huge penis boy." 

I just stared at him, a big smile on my face, until he was laughing more than speaking.

"Look, you treacherous villain, take care or you will be the victim of my huge penis.  It will probe you, push against you, find your most personal openings, fill you with my man fluid."

"Sounds good to me," said a smiling Brad.

"Yeah, yeah," I said with great glee.  We began to get our things together laughing as we did.**
**
To be continued...**

"The measure of love is to love without measure" 

Feedback always welcome:  [scotty@tickiestories.us](mailto:scotty@tickiestories.us?subject=[N] Finding Love: A Journey Chapter 05)  [](mailto:scotty@tickiestories.us?subject=[N] Finding Love: A Journey Chapter 05)    

Thanks to my editor, Wayne, and to my readers, Peter and Rock.  Their help has added immeasurably to the story. Best of all, they are my friends.

Author's Note: This and all my stories are also posted on http://tickiestories.us along with several other great authors and stories, please stop by and check them out.

Next: Chapter 7


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