Happy Easter!
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This is my story, I wrote it from my own mind. Any relations to events in real life is purely coincidental. Do not reprint this story without permission.
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Mason
Finally Home
Chapter 8
From Brian's point of view:
My brother is the smartest idiot I know. Toby. Beautiful, sexy, sweet Toby. The man of Michael's dreams (he was in some of my dreams too, come to think of it). And when this beautiful, sexy, sweet man asks Michael flat out 'How do you feel about me?' What does Michael say? The truth? No, of course not. He freezes, and then he says 'I don't know.' I DON'T KNOW. Like I said, the smartest idiot in the world.
I have to give my brother credit though, he had it a lot harder then I did. My parents actually did a wonderful thing. They never did that twin thing to us, never made us dress alike or any of that crap the parents do to twins to clone their identities, and they even made our school put us in separate classes in grade school. So my brother and I are really close, but we also developed our own personalities. The problem was that I ended up being much more outgoing then Michael.
It was always hard on him. I mean, sure, we're great looking guys, but we're also identical, so guys just tend to gravitate toward me, I'm the flirt. We have talked about this before and he doesn't mind, doesn't fault me for it. I still feel bad from time to time. I can't help that I like to flirt, or that I'm naturally friendly. Michael always says that he really doesn't enjoy flings anyway, so the fact that he's more serious helps him avoid that.
The problem is that he's also kinda stuck in my shadow at times. We've had guys go out with him, meet me, drop him, and then come after me. It sucks, I never go out with those guys, they're assholes. But it doesn't change the fact that he has the roaring inferiority complex that doesn't often show.
But it has reared it's ugly head where Toby is concerned. When I first met Toby my first thought was that Michael was going to drool over this guy. Toby fits Michael's type to a T. I personally like guys that are a little bulkier, but I still recognized that Toby was totally gorgeous the moment I met him. What makes him even more hot is the fact that Toby seems to have no idea how beautiful he is. He moves with this unconscious grace. Toby has the body of a swimmer, with all these tight muscles that aren't ripped and defined but that are kinda sinewy. They make him look smooth and firm and taunt. His skin is light, he's actually pretty pale, especially compared to the tanned look Michael and I inherited from being half Italian. Toby has this perfect face, well proportioned and blemish free, with these luscious lips, and a little cleft in his chin. Michael and I have decided, after much discussion, that his hair must be natural, he mentioned once how weird everyone used to think it was. It's dark dark blond at the roots but at the ends it's bleach white. He keeps short and kind of spiky/messy, less then an inch long, it looks good. Toby's eyes are what top's him off. The brightest fucking green I have ever seen. They almost glow. He's beautiful, and I know Michael thought the same thing when he first saw him.
Then the problem reared its ugly head. The problem is not my intelligent and well thought out 'hanky-panky' rule. I could give a shit, I'm the one that usually goes after our roommates and fucks it all up. The problem is that Michael, in addition to his inferiority complex, is star struck, in a way. You have to remember that Michael teaches literature, he loves books, and Toby's books are like his favorite of all time. I almost shit when I found out that he was THAT Tobias Jamison. Not that I thought it was any big deal, I've never read any of his books, but I knew that Michael was practically peeing himself. We decided to keep quiet about the fact that Michael had memorized passages from his books and had autographed copies sealed in plastic hidden in a box under his bed, we didn't want to make Toby feel weird.
I could tell that Toby being a big bad author would be a big problem. Not because of the inequity of their salaries, that's what I would have a problem with, but Michael never put much stock in that kind of stuff since teachers worked so hard for so little money. The problem was Michael inferiority complex, again. Here was the great author, living in our house, being gorgeous, attracted to Michael, Michael attracted to him. But Michael was scared out of his mind. I'd ask him about it and he'd say, "He's out of my league Brian. Just leave it alone." That was his stock answer.
I wasn't too worried about it. I could see Michael was falling hard, falling in love even. Michael had never really been in love, but I think he was this time. I figured that, you know, love conquers all. I figured that they would work it out. I could tell that Toby was feeling the same way, you can tell it every time he and Michael look at each other. Toby has the most expressive eyes I've ever seen.
Then came last Saturday, when everything went to hell. I didn't hear when Toby came in because I was busy, obviously. But I was bidding my date farewell at the doorway at about 5am when Michael came walking in, looking like hell. His eyes were red, like he'd been crying. I shoved my date out the door and followed Michael as he headed toward his room.
"Bro, what's wrong? Is Toby Okay?"
"Yeah, he's fine, he came in hours ago." Michael's voice was more sad then I'd ever heard it.
"What happened?"
"I fucked it up Bri."
"What happened?" I demanded, I know that thinking Michael might take advantage of Toby was crazy, but I still feel a bit protective of the guy, he feels like a little brother, in a way.
"I didn't do anything bad, you know I wouldn't push him like that. I just fucked it up." Michael leaned against the wall heavily.
"How?"
"I dropped the ball, Bri. I just ... dropped the ball." Michael shook his head sadly.
"What happened?" I was getting tired of talking in circles, it was 5am after all.
"Tomorrow bro, can we talk about it tomorrow, or later today?" Michael said pleadingly. I realized he was exhausted.
"Okay bro, but we are going to talk about this." I warned.
"I know." Michael said with a sigh, he turned and went into his room. Hanging his head like a scolded puppy dog.
The next morning I came out of my room just in time to see Toby breeze by Michael and Irving without looking at either one. I caught a glimpse of him and I noticed first that he was wearing glasses, something I've never seen before, and I also noticed that he looked just as bad as Michael did. Irving just shrugged at Michael and turned to follow Toby. Michael closed the door and turned to me with tears in his eyes.
"God, what have I done?" He looked lost.
"That's my question. Come on Bro, I'll buy you a coffee." I swung my arm around his shoulders and led him into the kitchen.
Michael isn't human in the morning until after his coffee so I waited in silence as the coffee percolated and I let him drink the first cup before I started pushing.
"Tell me what happened." I said gently.
Michael let out a loud sigh but knew that there was no way he was gong to get out of this conversation. "It started out great. It was like one of the dances we used to go to at O'Malley Hall, you know? No one shows up for the first hour right?" I nodded and he continued. "I'm supposed to be the wanderer right, so I'm wandering, but there's nothing to wander through, so I end up over where Toby is stationed, he's in 'make-out' corner, you know behind that big post where Tony and Paddy are always making out. So anyway I spent a lot of time there talking to him, I don't remember anything we talked about though. He looked so good, that shirt made his eyes look even brighter then usual. I couldn't get enough of looking at him. I had to keep walking away to stop from popping a bone."
I chuckled softly. "Then what?"
"Well then things got busy for a while, my job was to move around the dance floor and confiscate the alcohol, so I did that for a couple of hours. Then things got slow again. Most of the young kids left, and the music slowed down and I couldn't stop thinking about him, how much I wanted to dance with him, so I walked up the side wall and came up behind him. I started massaging his shoulders. I just had to touch him. He just relaxed and let me rub his shoulders and neck. So I asked him to dance, you know, I kinda made it a joke. And he said yes. You know, how mom and pop used to dance, real close, him holding her hand, all romantic. It just fit, I held his hand and pulled him close. It felt so right. He felt so good, like when he slept on me, you know? Like that's where I wanted to be, forever." Michael stopped then, looking lost in the memory. I gave him a minute and refilled our coffee cups.
"What happened next?" I prodded gently.
"Well as soon as we started dancing I started to get hard. I couldn't help it. He felt so good, so smooth and firm and warm. So halfway through the song I'm hard as a rock and trying really hard not to kiss him right there. And then I feel him start to get hard too. It was like he was trying to stop it, I looked down at him and he was looking at my neck, just kinda licking his lips. Like he was in this trance or something. Then suddenly he snapped out of it and he stepped back, like he just realized what he was doing, he was all red and embarrassed. He backed himself right against the wall. I just wanted him to know it was okay, you know? Know that I was hard too. So I stepped up to him and pressed myself against him. He let out this moan, it was so hot, you know how intense I can get, and he just seemed to love it." I nodded, Michael was way more dominant then I was. "I started to grind myself into him, and then he moaned again and I knew he felt my bone too. He put his hands on my waist and he started to grind back against me, and I was about to kiss him, when we got interrupted."
"Someone caught you?" I asked, wide-eyed.
"No, some girl on the dance floor freaked out on her boyfriend and started screaming. She screamed and it scared the shit out of us both. I figured that since I was supposed to be out there patrolling that I should go check on her. That ended the moment."
"What happened after that?" I asked, knowing that there was more.
"Well, I didn't go back until it was time to go, I didn't know what to say, so I waited until Father Patrick told me we could leave. He told me to take Toby home because he didn't look so good. So I went over and he looked dazed, and kinda scared. I got nervous that maybe I had pushing him without realizing. So when we were outside I started to apologize. But he stopped me, he told me I didn't do anything that he didn't want. So then I asked 'what do we do now?' and then he asked how I felt about him, and that's when I dropped the ball." Michael stopped resting his head in his hands.
"What did you say?"
"I don't know."
"You don't know what you said?" I asked, confused.
"No, that's what I said. I said I didn't know how I feel about him."
"You said that!" I said a little too loudly.
Michael shook his head pitifully, his tears has spilled over by then. "I'm so stupid. You should have seen the look on his face, he just turned and walked away. I wanted to die. Then he said that he didn't do things halfway and he knew I didn't either, and I asked what about dating, and seeing where things take us. And he was like, well what about the hanky-panky rule? And what would Brian think? And he asked what if you approved and then things don't go well and then Toby is on the outs with both of us. Or what if you don't approve, he wanted to know. He didn't want to come between us."
"What if I approve and you two worked out?"
"That's what I asked him. And he said that what if you started feeling like the fifth wheel, or what if he started feeling like the fifth wheel?"
"I can handle feeling like the fifth wheel."
"What about him?"
"He wouldn't ever feel that." I said confidently, he glanced at me questioningly. "Michael you love him. You love him more then you love me. I can see it. That's how it should be." Michael nodded sadly, and started crying again.
"Did you ask him how he feels about you?"
"Yeah, finally I got a little pissed, he said he didn't want to risk coming between us if I didn't know how I felt about him, so I threw it back in his face. I asked him if he knew how he felt about me and he said yes, he did, but that if I wasn't sure he wasn't gonna put himself out there. And then he went inside."
"What did you do then?"
"I walked to the park and sat on the foot bridge, trying to figure out how I fuck up this bad."
"Did you figure it out?"
"Yeah, I'm a fuck head. I should have been honest, I should have taken the risk and just told him that I love him or that I was falling for him or something, I shouldn't have been so wishy-washy. God, what did I do, Brian? He looked so hurt, I don't know if he'll ever forgive me."
The week just got worse from there. Toby came home Sunday with food and a bunch of wine, although Toby hardly ever drinks. I knew he could tell we had been talking about him, and he got shitty. I felt bad and sent Michael after him, but that didn't do much good. The week went on and Toby avoided us, his wine rapidly disappearing. I was really worried about him. I think going to the center on Thursday was good for him, he once told me that his support group is as helpful for him as it is for the boys.
Friday at work I got the surprise of my life. I was in my office in the back working on the inventory. I love my job, I get to goof off and crunch numbers almost all day. It's perfect for me. Anyway, about 2pm one of my cashiers came back with the funniest look on his face.
"There's this really weird looking group of people out front looking for you."
"Funny looking how?" I ask, wondering if they were circus people or something.
"Well this one guy is really tall and kinda looks like Lurch from Adams Family, and then there's this other really short guy who's dressed kinda like a Chinese Ninja. And the have this old lady with them." Suddenly I smiled, wondering what Toby's grandmother was doing here.
"Careful what you call her kid, she'll havet hat ninja kick your ass." I commented before I hurried out to greet her. Louise Cleveland doesn't look like a normal old lady, at least not one from my family. The older ladies in my family are all fat and robust. Louise is short and skinny, she wears these business suits like she's thirty years younger, and she pulls them off wonderfully. She also doesn't have the usual fluffy haircut like most old ladies, her hair is long and thick. She usually wears it in a bun. She looked no different today. Although I do admit that she looked a bit funny on Irving's arm standing among the roller blades.
"Louise." I greeted her with a big smile as I approached.
"Brian, my dear boy." She pulled me down and I hugged her and gave her a kiss on the cheek as I pulled away. "You have a wonderfully kept store." She smiled.
"Why thank you." I grinned. "Are you here for that new mountain bike, or does your skate board need new wheels?"
She laughed and looped here arm through mine and let go of Irving. "I came to bring you a cup of coffee, and see your office." She said with her eyebrows raised purposefully. I nodded, having been expecting something like that and took the small picnic basket that Irving offered me. I steered her to the back of the store and into my office.
In the basket was indeed a thermos of her gourmet coffee, complete with two matching coffee mugs, cream, sugar, and spoons; and a plate of cookies covered in green plastic wrap. I set us up at the table I have in the corner of my office. We sipped coffee and munched on the best cookies I have ever tasted. I waited for her to start.
Finally she looked at me intently. "I love my grandson very much, I don't like to see him hurting."
I nodded, having expected this line of conversation. "They're both hurting, it's very painful for me to watch as well Louise."
"Perhaps since they can not seem to get their act together we should be perfectly honest with one another about what we know."
I nodded, "Well then let me just say that I am happy to report that my brother is head over heel in love with your grandson. And he's terrified."
A broad smile lit up Louise's face. "As is my grandson, in love and terrified. Now we both know that Toby is afraid to face rejection because his family rejected him and because of his past relationships. Now tell me why Michael is so afraid."
"Well, I'm more outgoing then he is, he's really very shy, especially when it comes to guys. And my being more outgoing has tended to put him in the shadow of things. He's also a bit star struck."
"Star struck?"
"Michael was a huge fan of Toby's books even before he moved in. He just thinks that Toby is out of his league."
Louise nodded in understanding. "You're brother has no idea how talented he is does he? Did you know that the standardized test scores for his English classes have gone up 20% since he started teaching at Cleveland Academy. That's all his doing. The students there love him, and that is very rare at Cleveland."
I shook my head in amazement. "No Louise I don't think he has any idea how good he is."
"Well the question of the hour is what do we do about those two?" Louise had a thoughtful look on her face.
I grinned at her scheming look. "Louise, I like how you think."
We tried to think of some subtly way to intervene. We went around and around for a while, finally, out of frustration, I said, "Too bad we can't just lock them in a room together and not let them out until they admit they're in love."
Louise looked at me as if I was a genius, "That's it!"
Louise and I ironed out our plan, the first part of which was for me to make sure that Michael wouldn't back out of Sunday brunch, although I was afraid he would, as he and Toby had been avoiding each other all week. I decided on my way home to just tell them that Louise had called to be sure that we were all coming and that I had said yes. That way neither one could back out. I hoped it didn't sound too out there.
I was in a much better mood when I came home, confident that our plan would work. I tried to keep the mood upbeat managing to keep both the guys at the table long enough to announce the 'call' from Louise. Of course Michael got pissed, I was afraid that it wasn't going to work for a moment. Getting Michael to change his mind when he's being stubborn is damn near impossible. I was amazed when Toby took over and basically told him off. I'd never heard Toby yell before. But he gave his speech and stormed off. Michael looked at me wide eyed.
"So are you gonna go?"
"Yeah, I guess, I don't want him any more mad at me then he already is." Michael looked so sad. I walked up to him and gave him a hug. He clung to me like a lost child for a moment and then turned and went into his room. I smiled to myself, hoping that one day Toby would laugh about how he helped me set himself and Michael up.
____________________________________________________________________________ Coming in Two weeks ... Will the plan work, or will if backfire?