Fear in the Mind By: H.D. Meister (dez187lm@hotmail.com)
One of these nights it's all going to go wrong. I know it will. I've done everything but move to an apartment to avoid it. And I can't move out because I don't have the money to afford it. So I have to settle for watching the clock tick away the seconds until my roommate and I either have sex or get into a big brawl.
It's not her fault that she happens to be my physical ideal of a bedmate. It's also not her fault that she's Asian. How was she supposed to know that I'd always wanted to have my cunt licked by a beautiful Asian woman? She's not a mind reader. None of my feelings are her fault. She's just a naturally caring person with looks to die for and a smile that could melt the polar ice caps.
And she's single. I know because I get to hear all of her attempts to find Mr. Right. She's been to several bars and more than a few frat parties, but has so far only wound up getting pawed by drunk assholes thinking with their dicks. None of them give a rat's hairy ass about how sensitive she is. When she finally returns to the dorm room I'm the first person to hear her moan and cry about how cold and lifeless those schmucks were. Do you have any idea how hard it is not to grab her and hold her tenderly in my arms? The first time I came so close to giving in to that urge that I went directly into the shower and frigged myself well past my normal three-orgasm limit.
And it isn't getting any better. Last night Nina, my roommate, came in early. It was only midnight and I was dressed in a tee shirt and a pair of shorts. I was putting the finishing touches on my differential equations homework for the weekend when she walked in. One look at her face told me that something bad had happened. That was an understatement.
From what I could gather, Nina had a run-in with two drunks. They were all but mauling her when a fight broke out. She bolted, running straight to the dorm room. And right into my arms. She cried for a while as I held her head to my chest. The burning within me to know what her lips would feel like on my nipples was making me sweat. I tried to caress her as tenderly as a FRIEND should, but it was damned hard. Finally she lifted her head and faced me. Her eyes were blood-shot from her crying and all I wanted to do was kiss those tears away.
I want her to touch me. None of the guys that I've gone after have shown any interest in sleeping with a slightly chubby Asian chick. All they wanted were bubble-headed blonde fuck toys.
And every night I go to sleep with tears in my eyes. Some because I cannot find the guy I want and to. Others because I know exactly where the woman of my darkest fantasies is. I know that Victoria is little more than six feet from me. And it is the most frightening thing in the world.
I know I shouldn't hold on to her so tightly when I cry on her shoulders, but I cannot forsake my one fond wish. I long for the night when she will hold me head tenderly in her athletic hands and bring me towards those perfect lips. When she kisses me I melt into her. I become one with her. My soaked mound is hers. The tingle through nipples is ours.
I almost let my secret slip last night. It was one of my worst experiences at a party. These two guys were trying to convince me that I should sleep with both of them at once. Their filthy paws against my skin had me fighting the impulse to throw up whatever that sludge was I ate for dinner. When the fight happened, I took off and ran to the only person I knew who would truly understand how I felt. Victoria. My feet moved with practiced ease. They knew where my soul wanted to be.
And I laid my head on her chest. I could hear and feel her heart beat. It quickened with the concern of a true friend. I had hoped it would be the fluttering of Lust. Desire for my touch. I would have given anything had she touched my chin and lifted my lips to hers.
Yet I find myself sleeping alone again. Six feet. So easy...
One thump. Two thump.
Two hearts beating for each other yet neither wanting to risk what the have in order to gain more. How Human of them. Sweet in all its stupidity.
To suck on each other's breasts while their fingers seek out the nearest warm, wet hole is their collective wish. The hunger for the flavorful meal between each other's thighs, yet there they sleep. Each dreaming of the other.
And all because of my power.
(dez187lm@hotmail.com)