Fate and More

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I made the reservation at "Le Mirage" and confirmed it to Kyle. The fact he had said he was not married was welcome news for me. My hopes were again as high as the highest mountain. It was not that he confirmed he was gay, but good-looking like he was and not married gave me a suspicion that maybe he was. I sure had to be careful, remembering what my father had said to me in a far past. My father was buried, but he was so alive in my memory thanks to all the lessons he had taught me!

Friday night couldn't come fast enough for me. Kyle's image and the little bit I knew about him obsessed me. I was fascinated by his personality and, yes, I admitted it, his voice. The deep tone it had resonated in my ears and head. It didn't matter what he was saying. What mattered was the way he said it and, yes, the sexiness it irradiated made my heartbeat skip from time to time. Oh my... what was I going to do? Even though I had designed and built a car, despite of being at the had of a major car dealership, I felt like a sixteen year old, falling in love for the first time and who doesn't know how to approach the subject of his dreams. I missed my father even more at that moment because he would have found the words, the advice of how to handle those things. The more I thought about it, the more I was aware that my father had never failed in answering my questions. We had talked about emotions and love. He had told me that there were different types of love and that each love was compatible with others: the love of a parent, the love of brothers and sisters, the love for a lover were all different, yet based on the same values and necessarily accompanied by trust and respect.

I didn't think that what I felt for Kyle was love ... yet! For the moment is was admiration, respect and a strong desire to learn to know him. My father had always told me that the person I chose as a partner for life had to be my best friend. With a friend you could talk about anything without being judged or condemned. A friend accepted you as you were, without discrimination and unquestioned faith. If your lover could be your best friend at the same time, you were really blessed. He always mentioned the same example: my mother and him. It was indeed love at first sight, but they had a deep friendship between the two of them. There had never been the slightest taboo about any subject. They didn't always agree, but they respected each other's opinion. No, they were not necessarily perfect, but they were perfect for each other. "Communicate!" he said. It was important to talk, but even more to know that the talking would not lead to arguments of negative discussions. If I had to write down all the lessons my father had taught me, it wouldn't be only a book but a complete series of books.

Friday afternoon I left the office early. I went to the hairdresser as I thought it was necessary and I wanted to look my best. I went home and took a good shower. Maybe it was not necessary yet, but I trimmed my chest hair and pubes. I didn't think Kyle would see them, but it made me feel good. I paid special attention to what I was going to wear. I went through my wardrobe, but couldn't decide. "Le Mirage" was an upscale restaurant and jacket and tie were not required, but recommended. But which suit was I going to wear? Would it be classical navy blue or light grey? Would I go for a more casual approach and pull on beige slacks and a blue jacket? Even the choice of a tie seemed an impassable barrier. I had to decide if I didn't want to arrive late. After doubting for about an hour, I finally wore what was my first idea: navy blue suit, white shirt and yellow tie. I used my favorite Cologne and looked at my reflection in the mirror. I am not narcissistic but I liked what I saw.

I arrived at seven sharp. My father told me that punctuality was the virtue of the kings. Kyle arrived exactly at the same time. Hmm! We shook hands and again there was a sparkle of electricity when we touched. Out table was about to be ready and we were invited to have an aperitif at the bar. We both had Martini's and enjoyed them while having some small talk about the weather and the traffic. Pathetic, isn't it? Once we were seated the conversation turned to our respective jobs. I asked him how he got to be chief editor at such a young age.

• I know, he said, the image of a chief editor is more the one of an older person. I always wanted to write and followed the courses of journalism. I also studied literature. I started writing in the university magazine and was noticed by an editor who approached me and asked to write some articles for his newspaper. The first article he asked me was about an automobiles' event. It was a concentration of old timers. He was so impressed by what I wrote that he asked for a second article about the presentation of the newest BMW. Again he was impressed. This went on for a few years till he decided to launch a specialized magazine concerning cars. That was five years ago and I was given the job of chief editor right away. I have done it since. The incident with the reporter and your car was due to the fact that I was out of town and that the article went through without my supervising it. It is something that will not occur anymore. I will personally see to it.

He really seemed sorry for what had happened, but I didn't care any more. The incident had allowed us to meet. I felt a strong connection with him and that was the only thing that was important to me. What happened to that reporter was the last of my preoccupations. The new article published was correcting all the wrong and meeting Kyle was giving me satisfaction. I just crossed my fingers that this satisfaction would lead to a lot more. Sitting here with him was fantastic. We were sharing time! For me it meant a lot as giving our time was giving part of our lives. That time would never be given back. Such a gift was priceless. And it was mutual. Kyle knew already a lot about my life, as the reporter had asked me the appropriate questions during the interview. I still had to discover a lot about him, but I was in no hurry. I was determined to take the necessary time to know him, even if he wasn't gay. If nothing else I was convinced that I was working on a lifetime friendship. I didn't know, yet, what his position was towards gays, but I knew that when the occasion rose I would ask him. It was not a must to be today or right now.

We ordered our food when the waiter came. We both had fish and agreed on a white wine to go with the meal. That was the way we discovered small common things. I was pleased. Those were the small things that made us getting closer to each other. I was sure it was our first, but certainly not our last meal together. We had so much to tell each other that even the meal was somehow disturbing in the way that we couldn't talk while eating. I tried to talk when he was eating and vice versa. There wasn't a moment of silence, comfortable or not. I wanted to share all the things of my life and apparently he wanted the same. Although we had a lot to talk about, we respected each other when speaking. I noticed with a real joy that none of us interrupted the other in mid sentence although we wanted to agree or give our opinion. At one point our conversation came on the topic of respect and I was so happy to learn it was the value he most appreciated. His opinion was that to receive respect you first had to give it. I couldn't agree more.

We finished our meal with coffee. We had been so involved with each other that we didn't notice till then that we were the only ones left in the restaurant. As I paid the bill, Kyle insisted he owed me one. Once we were outside and about to part to each get his own car, he asked to be able to invite me for the next one. I tried to not be too eager in accepting, but gave in. Kyle said he would call me to arrange our next meeting and we parted. Going to my car I felt a bit awkward. I knew that I had to wait till he called. Fortunately we had exchanged cell phone numbers! Nonetheless, as nothing had been said about our preferences, I didn't want to seem to inpatient to hear him again by calling first. I knew he was probably quite busy and wouldn't have time to call me soon. There was no reason to. When two friends go to have a meal together, it's ok, but it hadn't to be every day or even every week. After all, we had spoken over the phone twice and met in real life twice as well: once for the interview and once for a meal. He didn't know I had been obsessed with him most of my time. I couldn't help it and after that meal I had even more things to think about.

To my utter surprise, he called me the next day. I had gone for a run and taken my shower when I saw his name on the caller's ID of my cell phone when I had just wrapped a towel around my waist. He just wanted to thank me for the "lovely" evening. I found the choice of words a bit strange, but agreed it had been indeed "lovely". We had, once again, a thousand things to tell and after being on the phone for more than an hour, he suggested that maybe it would be better if we met instead of talking over the phone. I took the opportunity to invite him over, telling him I had a few bottles of fine wine and even some Champagne in the fridge. That's when he said another odd thing that made my mind race again, when he made the comment that I was a man "to his liking". Could it be that he was gay after all? I wondered. We hung up after I gave him my address and that he said he would be over in about an hour. I went to my bedroom and pulled on my favorite 501's and a T-shirt. It was a Saturday, right? No need for formal clothes.

His punctuality was going to make Swiss watchmakers jealous! We had not agreed on it, but Kyle was dressed exactly as I was. The only difference was that he had sneakers on his feet where I was barefoot. When I was at home I was always barefoot because I loved the feeling of the hardwood floors and the contrasting fluffy oriental carpets. If I could avoid wearing something on my feet, I did it. When Kyle came in and saw that I was barefoot, he took off his sneakers. I led him to the living room and told him to make himself at home while I went to the kitchen to retrieve the bottle of Champagne that was chilling in a bucket of ice and the two glasses I had prepared. Normally seen I drank Champagne only on special occasions and this was for me a perfect reason to open a bottle. I didn't know for Kyle, but for me it was a special occasion: his first visit to my home. I was pushed out of my comfort zone when Kyle asked a very direct question.

• So tell me Junior, you are living all on your own in this big house?

On itself it was a simple question, but it was the first time that he actually entered my private life.

• Yes, I do, I answered. I have been living here my whole life. I am on my own here since my father died two years ago...

And that was how I started to tell him the story of my life, the admiration I had for my father and the love for this Victorian house. I told him about Elizabeth, the housekeeper, who was here from Monday to Friday because I was not able to keep the house clean with the work I had. I told him quite a lot actually because I felt at ease with him. I wanted to share my private life with him, secretly hoping that in the future he would be part of it. I was anxious to ask him THE question, but didn't dare to. I didn't want to spoil the growing friendship with THE question that could lead to complete happiness or shattering to animosity. My suspicion was strong but I wasn't hundred percent sure yet.

Kyle shared information about his private as well. He loved and respected his parents very much and was lucky to still have them. He didn't live with them anymore. Quite early he had left the parental house and lived his own life because he loved his independence. He loved his mother dearly, but admitted she was a bit nosey. He said he had nothing to hide to them, but preferred having his own place, doing what he wanted without having to answer a hundred questions. Kyle talked about his happy childhood although he admitted he missed brothers and sisters. His mother had had two miscarriages after he was born and the doctor had advised her to stop trying having another child. He did seem to be at ease as well and was talkative.

We talked without looking at our watches, but our stomachs reminded us that time was flying by. We were not in the mood to go out. I looked in the fridge to see what Elizabeth had left, but none of it was appealing to us. So we did what most bachelors do in that case: call and order pizza. While we were waiting Kyle surprised me with yet another direct question.

• And Junior, anybody special in your life?

• No, not at all, I said. You see, with the designing and building of the Alberta I, all my time was completely absorbed. I didn't have time to socializing or go clubbing. The very few free time I had, I kept it for some good friends. I am not that kind of guy that goes out and finds himself in a bar, filled with smoke, with the music that comes far too loud out of the speakers. Even if you meet someone, it is very hard to have a decent conversation because you can't hear each other. If you can't have a conversation, what's the use of going to those bars? I tried it a few times but soon realized it was a complete waste of time. I am not the guys that will place an add in a paper (we laughed at that), in short I let the work overwhelm me and felt happy with it. When I was home, my father would be here as well and we had the relationship I told you about, so I didn't have the need to go out. What about you?

• Pretty much the same if I can say so. Not really the type to go out and look for someone. I tried a few times to build a relationship, but it never worked out like I wanted. My Mum says that I don't have to look for it, that with time Destiny would put the right person on my path and that I would immediately know it is the adequate person. So, for once, I followed her advice and stopped looking. I just cross my fingers that she is right and that indeed I will meet someone. You know how it is to live on your own. It can be very lonely some times. You watch a movie on television and want to comment it, but there is nobody to comment it with. You eat alone, you sleep alone and when you finish your work there is nobody to come home to. A lot of people envy us bachelors because they say we are free to do what we want and when we want. And that is true! But some times it is so much nicer to share things. For example: I am a huge fan of flat screen television and I allowed myself to buy the latest model. When I watch it, the image is crystal clear and the surround system gives me the sensation of being in a cinema, but there is nobody who enjoys that perfect image and sound combination with me. I know it sounds stupid but it is a reality.

• I understand what you mean. If you can't share the pleasures of life, it quickly gets boring.

I suddenly had an idea.

• Are you doing anything tomorrow? I asked Kyle.

• No, not really. Why do you ask?

• Let it be a surprise then. If you want I'll pick you up around eleven. I can assure you that you won't regret it.

• Ok, he said, I trust you.

We talked on and on, but I had to make at least one phone call to set up the surprise of the following day. I excused myself and went (supposedly) to the bathroom. I made my call and received a positive answer. I jumped in the air of joy. What I just achieved was to rent the private circuit again. Kyle had seen Alberta I, even sat in it and heard the whisper of the engine, but he had not driven it! As a specialized chief editor of a car magazine, I was sure he was eager to drive the car. He obviously loved cars and such a prototype was not something you could drive every day.

The following morning I went to pick him up. The previous day, once Kyle was gone, I went to the dealership and put Alberta I on a trailer. So, we went to the dealership and once I opened the garage door, he understood what the surprise was.

• Do you really, and I mean REALLY mean for us to have a drive in Alberta I? Kyle asked.

• Yes indeed, I said, and you will be doing the driving!

• I can't believe it! This is just fantastic!

I attached the trailer to my car and we were on our way to the private circuit. Alberta I was easily unloaded from the trailer and I handed the keys to Kyle. He was still looking at me in total disbelief. He admitted he had wanted to ask me to drive it when he was with his reporter in my office, but thought it was maybe asking too much. Now, without even asking for it, I handed him the keys and we slipped inside. He started the engine and was once more surprised by the silence inside the car. He put the car in gear and we started to move, slowly at first but soon increasing the speed. Kyle was a top driver and I would almost say a professional pilot. He handled the car with care and once he got it well in his hands, recognizing the reactions of the car, he felt more and more confident. Alberta I glided over the asphalt smoothly and obeying every command Kyle was giving it. In the straight part of the circuit he pushed it to the limit, cleaving the air like an arrow coming out of a bow.

We didn't say a word. Kyle was so concentrated on his driving that I didn't want him to be distracted with comments that I would make and which were obvious. The chronometers of the circuit showed the time of each lap, being it starting from zero or at full speed. Kyle broke the records that we had achieved earlier with the test pilot.

When we got out of the car, my eyes were drawn to his crotch and I could see he actually had a hard- on. He had to be well endowed to make it so visible. He didn't try to hide it or maybe he wasn't even conscious he had one. I thought it was funny because it was exactly the same reaction my body had shown when I had tried the car the first time. Kyle was beaming! He pretended it was the most satisfying test-drive he had ever experienced. He was talking only with superlatives, just as my father had done and ended up with saying he wanted one, too. When I told him what price-ticket the car had, he said he didn't want it anymore. We laughed heartedly at that. When I mentioned I could give him a discount because he had broken the speed record, he laughed even harder. He came over to me and gave me a manly hug, with the traditional slaps on the back. I wouldn't have minded kissing him, but I kept a safe distance. He helped me load the car back on the trailer and said goodbye to the guy who had opened the gate for us and handled the chronometers. We drove back to the dealership and the whole way Kyle had a smile on his face going from one ear to the other. He said he felt a bit stupid to be that excited over a test-drive. I thought it was the best reward I could get from someone who had driven the car I designed and built. I put the car back into its space in the showroom, leaving a note for the workshop manager to have it cleaned and filled up again with fuel.

I drove Kyle back to his place. He lived in a bungalow not that far from my house. It was modern and functional. He had clearly more sense in editing a magazine than interior design. It was a real man's place. It missed that feminine touch my mother had brought into our house, but it was tidy and clean. He invited me in and offered me a beer as it was the only thing he had available (a real bachelor!). He couldn't stop talking about the car and the experience I had offered him. He thanked me so profusely that I had to tell him to stop because it became embarrassing. Two beers later I announced I was on my way because I still had to drive and didn't want to have problems if the police was doing some alcohol tests along the road. Kyle said I could stay the night if I wanted and I found that again it was a bit odd. Although I didn't mind to stay the night, I declined politely pretending to have a lot of things to do in the morning. My heart said to stay and see what would happen, but rationality kicked in and I drove home.

I was just closing the front door when my cell phone beeped, telling me I had a message. I didn't have to look at the caller's ID, I knew it was a message from Kyle and it was, thanking me again for the fantastic day. I agreed. It had been a fantastic day indeed. It was a long time since I had enjoyed myself so much. Kyle's company was a big part of that enjoyment. When I slipped between the sheets I couldn't help to visualize his hard-on, confined in his 501's. My own cock responded accordingly and soon I was beating me meat furiously. I climaxed and deposited a huge load on my chest and stomach. I reached for my T-shirt to clean myself and drifted to sleep with the image of Kyle's face as an introduction to a restful night.

Monday mornings were always hectic. People had rested the weekend and had some problem picking up the required work speed. Monday morning clients were always a bit more difficult to handle. It was as id they were frustrated that they hadn't been able to come in on a relaxed Sunday. I had thought of setting up a rotation of sales people on Sundays, but discarded the idea, respecting family life and weekends. I had talked it over with our sales manager and he had talked it over with his team. I offered an extra day off for those willing to work on Sundays, but the general idea had not been received with a lot of enthusiasm. We already had three to four weekends a year that the dealership was open and always resulted in quite good sales figures, but that was not enough to convince our sales team to go on with it.

The workshop manager came up with the keys of Alberta I, telling me it was clean and filled up. I didn't want the keys of the Alberta I in the ignition, nor with all the other keys we kept at the reception desk. The keys to Alberta I was kept in my personal safe in my office. The article in Kyle's magazine had already caused a lot of curious people to come and see it. The possible sales of Alberta I were exclusively in the hands of James, our sales manager. He had gotten the opportunity to drive it and learn everything there was to it. The potential clients were a very selected group of people that had to be handled with a lot of care and the highest professional approach. James was the perfect man for the job, but it often happened that the potential buyers wanted to speak to me as the designer and builder. Apart from Kyle's magazine I had also a Webpage designed with the best possible pictures and detailed technical information. We were still waiting for the official papers that would allow the Alberta I on the road. We also had the visit of buyers from Dubai and Abu Dhabi. Those people are ready to pay a fortune to have something exclusive. All in all, I could be proud of what I had achieved. I wished I had the time to design a second car: a limousine type. I would have to do a marketing survey to see if there was a possible market for it. It came to my head to ask for Kyle's advice on the subject. Yes! I had a reason to call without causing the suspicion that I just wanted to be in his company.

Kyle and I agreed on a business lunch. The conversation we had over lunch was purely about the survey to know if it was worth to build an exclusive limousine that would have the price of a Rolls Royce without being one. He came up with the idea of publishing the survey in his magazine, but also to create a special Webpage, as people were more inclined to take a survey by Internet than on paper. He said it would be beneficial for both of us because he would automatically know how his customers perceived his magazine.

I received again various copies of the new number of his magazine. I found the page with the survey and it was really complete. The questions were accurate and precise. The multiple-choice options were clear and concise. But what surprised me the most was a new article about Kyle's test-drive with Alberta I. My God! This was the most appreciative article I ever read in my life. His observations were honest but he described them in such a way that you couldn't do anything else than falling in love with the car. As he was obliged to mention at least a few negative points, he had mentioned there was not really enough space for suitcases in the trunk and being the sports car it was, it was low and thus not really accessible for older people to get in and out of it. The last less positive point mentioned was the delivery time, as it was hand built and that after a test-drive it would be difficult for anyone to have to wait that long before being able to enjoy it. He didn't mention the price. He had just mentioned that it was on request. That article was, for me, too good to be true. He had mentioned our e-mail address and I guessed James would be overloaded with inquiries. It had just come to my mind when James came into my office saying he had hundreds of inquiries. I showed him the article and he understood right away how it came that his inbox was so full.

If the sales were going to be that good, we would have to increase the space for building the Alberta I. We would have to hire more people and have more space to stock what we needed.

I called Kyle and we were again on the phone for the longest time. As it was getting a habit, we agreed to have a meal together that same night. I had been afraid at the beginning of our friendship that we wouldn't see each other a lot. I became aware that I had no reasons to be afraid as we saw each other on a regular base. Each and every time we saw each other, I wanted to touch him, hold him and even kiss him, but we hadn't reached that point. I restricted myself to a firm handshake and the occasional manly hug. This couldn't go on like that. He was haunting my nights and my dreams. I was thinking about him constantly. I imagined him in all the possible positions of the gay Kamasutra. I visualized him naked and touching me in all the places very few people had ever had access to. Although I was an anal virgin, I dreamed about having him inside of me.

I knew I had to occupy my mind and my head. The only thing I could do to change my mind was to start the design of the Limousine. I didn't wait for the results of the survey. I took out all my sketches and, just as I had done for the Alberta I, selected the five that were most appealing to me, transferred them to my computer and began the new project. You could often find me at my designer's desk till one or two in the morning. The creative fever got me!

One night, around one thirty, as I was about to switch off my computer, I looked through the window and out to the desert street. I saw a silhouette of man pacing up and down in front of my house. I had the sensation it was Kyle, but discarded it. Kyle had no reason to be walking in front of my house. We were friends. If he wanted to see me, he would ring the doorbell! I went to bed without giving it more importance. But it happened more. About two or three times a week I would see that same silhouette passing several times in front of my house. I was getting curious about this stranger who was apparently observing my house. So, the next time when I saw him, I switched off the lights but kept looking through the window. It didn't take more than a minute before I saw that silhouette disappear in the darkness. During the following weeks I did the same trick with each time the same result. As long as my light in my office was on, the guy would walk up and down. Once I switched it off, he would disappear. The trees in my front yard had grown that much since my Grandma July had planted them and hiding the street lamps, that I never could see the face of the mysterious silhouette. I even mentioned it to Kyle but he didn't pay it a lot of attention.

The design of the limousine went well. Of course, the experience of the first design of the Alberta I, was helping a lot. A lot of people had taken the survey and the analyses of them were indicating that there would be a definite interest for a very exclusive town car. I was nonetheless limited to evenings and weekends to dedicate time to the design. I saw Kyle a bit less, but noticed that he was a bit more distant. I didn't understand why but respected his privacy. If he wanted to talk about it, he knew I would listen. Strangely enough, the less I saw Kyle, the more I saw the mysterious silhouette in front of my house. My curiosity was piqued and I caught myself watching the clock as I had observed that the silhouette was always arriving around midnight. As to not get completely crazy, I made it a game: switching lights on and off and observing the results. It was always the same scenario: once I switched off my office lights, the man would disappear. I went through various phases. First I was just curious. Then I began to fear for my security. Was that man observing my house and one day I would come home and find it empty? With time the fear disappeared and was replaced by laughter. The last phase was when I got worried for that man. He must have had a reason to observe my house like that two or three times a week. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't go to the police! That man had the right to walk in the street, no? He didn't do anything wrong! As I didn't know what his intentions were, I didn't dare to go out and confront him. Even if he didn't do anything wrong, he could be a serial killer!

I felt observed for weeks! My God... I was in shape and strong. Except if that man had a gun in his pocket, I could probably overpower him without too much efforts. I had to know what was going on. Just when I was almost decided to confront him the next time he walked in front of my house, he didn't appear during a whole week. I was sure his patience was up, but after two weeks of absence, he was back. It was pouring rain and I guessed that my mystery man had to be soaked to the bones. I left the light on in my office and went to the front door. I opened it wide. The overhang at the front door protected me from the rain and I saw the mystery man walking away. I threw all caution in the wind and called out "Come in! I know you are there! Come in and tell me what's going on". The figure suddenly stood still, probably hesitating about what to do. I called him over once again and he slowly turned around and walked towards me. When he was close enough I could finally see his face.

It was Kyle!

I was confused. What on earth was he doing, pacing in front of my house two or three times a week? Why didn't he ring my bell? What kind of mysterious reason did he have to behave like that?

• Take those clothes off, you are soaking wet. I'll go for towels and a bathrobe!

I ran to the bathroom to retrieve some towels because I was sure he would need more than one. I took my bathrobe with me and ran down the stairs. Fortunately it was only raining and not cold. Kyle stood there standing under the overhang in his briefs. If the moment was different I would have been aroused in a split second, but it was not the time for that. I couldn't determine if the moisture on his face was from the rain or tears. I threw him a towel and the bathrobe that he put on immediately. I took all of his clothes, including the briefs that he had taken off as soon as he had the bathrobe on, and put them in the dryer.

• Can you tell me what you have been doing here all of these nights? I saw you Kyle! We are friends and I thought we were friends! Why did you pace in front of my house and not ring the bell? Kyle, please, explain this to me because I don't understand.

• I ... I am sorry Junior... really sorry ... I'll try to explain but please don't get angry with me... I won't be able to stand your anger.

• I am not angry Kyle. I just want to understand. Nothing more.

I was so confused. It was obvious that Kyle searched a way to postpone his explanation. He was one nervous wreck! He twisted the belt of the bathrobe in his hands. Was he looking for an acceptable explanation? Had he done something that could cause my anger? I doubted it very much. Was there anything at all that he had not told me and now regretted that he hadn't? I couldn't figure. For the first time in our friendship, I pressured him.

• Please Kyle, talk to me! Say something! This silence of yours is killing me!

He looked up at me. I saw him pleading with his eyes, but I didn't know what he was pleading for. I could also detect some fear. I tried to remember our last times we were together, but everything seemed normal, except maybe that he was a bit distant. I supposed that him being distant and the look he had on his face were related. Finally he appeared to be ready to speak.

• First of all Junior, be assured that I consider you as a friend in the deepest sense of the word. I haven't and I won't ever do anything to harm you. You are my best and closest friend and if depends on me, that will never change. But there is something I have to tell you that can make you change your mind about our friendship.

He seemed to collect his thoughts. I was aware that he had a very hard time. I couldn't imagine what he could tell me to make me change my mind about our friendship. Jeez ... we had connected so well over the months since our first meet in my office. All that time I secretly hoped we could build our relationship to another level, but as he was as straight as the proverbial arrow, I had discarded that idea and thrown myself in the design of the limousine. Oh ... wait a minute ... was it that? Was it actually me and not him who was more distant? I guessed I would have to wait till he finished his explanation to have some answers and maybe do some confessions.

• Since a few months I have the sensation you're avoiding me. I don't know why. What I know is that I miss you like crazy Junior. Our friendship started so well and I was always happy to have you near me. I enjoyed our evenings out and when you let me drive the Alberta I, I was on cloud nine. I just love that car, but driving it with you next to me made it all very special.

Kyle paused again, apparently looking for the right words. Or was he just trying to follow a chronology? I tried to be as patient as possible and give him his space and time. He sighed deeply and continued.

• That day on the circuit was a milestone for me. That was the day I realized how much you mean to me and I had the clear feeling I was meaning a lot to you as well. In the car, while I was driving, I felt such a strong connection between the two of us. It was the most beautiful day of my life and I was happy beyond belief. But soon after that day, you seemed a bit more distant. You said you started the design of the limousine and I accepted your explanation, but I wondered if you had something else against me. I know you saw me getting out of the car with ... an erection. I saw you looking at me or rather my lower abdomen. I tried to act as nonchalant as possible doing as if there was nothing the matter. But as you took your distances with me, I supposed you were disgusted with me.

What the hell was he telling me? What on earth had his hard-on to do with his strange behavior? I had had a hard-on as well when I drove the car for the first time! I attributed it to a rush of adrenaline! There is nothing to be ashamed about. I wanted to tell him right away, but he had already enough trouble telling me whatever it was he wanted me to know.

• I then went into a bad habit of mine when I feel insecure. I tend to see things in black rather than in color. I started to imagine a thousand things and that you were displeased with me. In the following weeks I came over to your house more than once for not to say I did it on a regular basis. Each and every time my resolution was to ring your bell and talk it over with you. But I saw the light in your office and thought you were working hard and I chickened out. But seeing the light in your office made me feel closer to you and I came back and back and back. I even thought that maybe you had met someone and I envied you. I felt each time more and more miserable. This was not good, not good at all! We had always been able to communicate perfectly and suddenly I was at a loss of words.

Remembering this made him pause again. The fact he said he envied me because he thought that MAYBE I had met someone made me think hard and fast. Was he actually talking about jealousy? Was he admitting that he had feelings for me? Or was he just acting like a spoiled kid who gets angry because his best friend has met someone? We were adults for God's sake! But when I saw that his eyes were moist again, I realized he was on the verge of crying. I didn't want my best friend to cry! I would never do anything to hurt him. I just wanted to see him smile and be happy!

• We kept meeting, not as often as before. I tried to be as much as you had always seen me, but nonetheless we were drifting apart and it hurt! What I am trying to tell you Junior is that ... Oh Jeez, this is so hard!

He looked up at me again and our eyes met. This time, apart from the fear I saw love and it hit me like a punch in my face. What Kyle tried to tell me was that he was in love with me! How had I been so stupid? How was it that I had not noticed all the signs? He had even given me clues with some comments and remarks. Kyle, who was always the confident and self-secure man, was suddenly afraid to lose me. Nothing else! He was scared to death that if he admitted his feelings for me, I would reject him! Oh my ... how had I been so blind?

I wanted to deliver him from his suffering. I remembered my father's words to always be myself. Well, this was the perfect time to show the real me. For a split second I thought about what would happen if I had misunderstood him, but I discarded the idea. I got up from where I was sitting, went over to him and kneeled in front of him. I took his face in my hands and leaned softly in. Our lips brushed against each other in a feathery touch. I leaned back and looked in his eyes that were as big as saucers.

• You ... ? ... How did you ...

I didn't let him finish his sentence. I pressed my lips against his for the second time, a little bit more forceful, introducing some passion and showing him in this tender gesture all the love I felt for him.

To be continued É

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